Author: Maggi Andersen
Date: 2010-04-07T04:00:00+00:00
Keywords: C429; Extratorrents; Kat; Romance
Description: Words: 40279 Teacher, Caitlin Fitzgerald runs for her life, taking a position as a governess on a cattle station in outback Australia . In this vast, arid country, populated by tough men and women, Caitlin finds more loyal friends than in the big city she left behind. And the station engineer, Harry Phillips wants much more than friendship. Jake Monterey, the aloof station owner, is another matter. He believes her ill-equipped to handle the outback. Determined to prove him wrong, Caitlin learns to defend herself, skills she will need if the danger left behind in Ireland follows her. Rating: Se
Publisher: New Concepts

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When Danger Follows

by Maggi Andersen

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Romance

New Concepts Publishing

www.newconceptspublishing.com

Copyright ©2008 by Maggi Andersen

NOTICE: This work is copyrighted. It is licensed only for use by the original purchaser. Making copies of this work or distributing it to any unauthorized person by any means, including without limit email, floppy disk, file transfer, paper print out, or any other method constitutes a violation of International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines or imprisonment.

CONTENTS

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

* * * *

When Danger Follows

By

Maggi Andersen

© copyright by Maggi Andersen, December 2008

Cover art by Alex DeShanks, December 2008

ISBN 978-1-60394-250-8

New Concepts Publishing

Lake Park, GA 31636
www.newconceptspublishing.com

This is a work of fiction. All characters, events, and places are of the author’s imagination and not to be confused with fact. Any resemblance to living persons or events is merely coincidence.

Chapter One

The driver pulled Caitlin’s suitcase from the Greyhound tourist coach that had brought her up from Broome. He jumped back behind the wheel and drove off in a swirl of dust.

She looked around. She might well be the last person on the earth. The oppressive heat was far worse than anything she had imagined. Moving to a straggly gum tree nearby, she sat on her suitcase in the tiny circle of shade.

The mid-day sun bleached the sky to a silver haze, which shimmered, distorting everything in the distance. Pulling her hair free of its band, it settled like a damp towel on her neck. She put on her inadequate cotton sunhat, and began spreading sunscreen cream on any exposed bits of skin. She was sweating in her jeans—she’d have to change as soon as she arrived at the house.

Had she done the right thing coming here? She wanted so much to build a new life for herself, somewhere where she felt safe.

Down the road, another trail of dust rose. She gasped with relief the sight of another human being. The truck rattled as it drove around her in a tight arc, pulling up with a spray of pebbles and dirt.

The door flung open and a big man leapt out, grinning. “You’ve got to be Caitlin Fitzgerald.” He grabbed her case and threw it in the back beside a panting kelpie dog.

She climbed into the cab. It smelt of cow dung and smoke.

He nodded at her. “Harry’s the name. Harry Phillips. Gee, you’re going to have to be careful with that skin of yours. English, are you?” He set the truck in motion with a noisy grinding of the gears.

“Pleased to meet you, Harry.” Caitlin was conscious that her face was probably flushed and sweaty. “Irish, from Dublin actually.”

Harry might have been close to her age, but his skin was deeply tanned and laughter lines radiated from the corners of his hazel eyes. He wore khaki shorts and a sleeveless shirt that had seen better days, but his boots were polished until they gleamed like mirrors. He pushed his Akubra hat back off his face with a callused finger, and turned to look at her more than once as they sped along.

“That’s a great head of red hair you have, Caitlin. Do you have the temper to go with it?”

“I’ve been accused of being fiery on occasion,” she replied, anxious that he should watch the road.

“I’ll have to stay on the right side of you then,” he laughed, turning again to peer out through the dusty windscreen at the unchanging landscape. “What made you decide to come to the end of the earth to live?”

She paused. “Curiosity—I’ve read a lot about the Australian Outback and wanted to see it. How far to Tall Trees?”

“We’re already on it.”

“Did it start at that last gate?”

Harry gave a hearty guffaw. “Look to the horizon, east, west, north and south—all you can see is Tall Trees, and then some.”

She peered through the window, struggling to grasp the sheer size of the landscape. She’d always felt at home in a crowd. Here, there was nothing but earth and sky for miles and it made her feel a bit odd.

Not afraid exactly, that’s an emotion she was familiar with.

“Tall Trees seems an incongruous name to me,” she said.

“Do you mean it doesn’t fit?”

“Not many trees around here, tall or otherwise.”

“Wait till we get there. Can you see that hill in the distance?”

She leaned forward, rubbing ineffectually at the windscreen. “That’s where we’re heading?”

“Yep.”

Her mouth felt horribly dry. She’d had nothing to drink since the bottle of water bought at the last whistle-stop. “Does it ever rain here?”

“In the rainy season. When it does, look out.”

“It floods?” she said, with a strong note of disbelief in her voice.

Harry laughed. “If the river breaks its banks. You wait.”

Caitlin wasn’t at all sure she wanted to.

Harry noted her expression. “The house is okay, it’s on top of a hill,” he said taking pity on her. “But they do get cut off sometimes. So, you’re here to look after Jake Monterey’s kids?”

“That’s right.”

“Best of Irish luck to you.”

Her heart sank. “They’re difficult?”

“More willful than bad. Monterey’s let ‘em run wild since his wife died.”

“How long is it since she passed away?”

“Over two years now. He goes off a lot these days-flies to Darwin on business. He has a lady-friend there.”

She held her breath as Harry took his hands off the wheel and, steering with his knees, lit a cigarette. “Away now actually,” he went on. “Maybe he plans to marry her and bring her back here. That would be a real good idea. The kids need it.”

“Wouldn’t he tell you of his plans?”

He laughed and shook his head. “Nope, Jake’s a bit of a closed shop.”

“What is it that you do, Harry?”

Harry pushed back his hat and scratched his head. “I help muster the cattle. We send ‘em off to one of the bigger stations, for shipping to Asia and the Middle East. We also breed quarter horses. They’re my main interest, but I’m a mechanic by trade. I maintain the machinery—keep it all in good working order. Jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none,” he said cheerfully.

“That’s quite an impressive list of accomplishments,” she said. “You must be very busy.”

“Oh, I get time off,” he said, glancing at her. “Saturday nights are always free.”

She smiled and turned to gaze out of the window. “Just how big is Tall Trees?”

“Tall Trees employs about thirty people and a fair few itinerant workers come and go. We all manage to work as a team under Jake. He’s the station manager as well as owner.”

They arrived at the base of the cliff, glowing brilliant orange in the sun, and began to climb. Caitlin was amazed as the rocks and shrubs gave way to forest. “What sort of trees are these?”

“Bloodwood, ghost gums, turpentine.”

She thought it seemed a little cooler here, but that might be wishful thinking. It wasn’t long before they were traveling through dense bush land and she heard her first kookaburra laugh. A small, furry grey animal bounced across the track and the truck swerved.

“Effin wallabies,” Harry cursed.

“Where’s the nearest town?” she asked, when he’d straightened up again. She was beginning to relax. He appeared to handle the difficult conditions with practiced ease.

“Burrawong—not far, twenty kilometers or so down the other side of the hill.”

She wouldn’t be walking into town then. The revelation brought a wave of inexplicable claustrophobia washing over her.

“Do you ride?” he asked, breaking into her thoughts.

“No. I’m a bit scared of horses.”

“You’ll have to learn,” he said. “Can’t survive here, out of the saddle. Tell you what,” he turned to her again, carelessly disregarding the slippery bush track the truck was negotiating. “I’ll teach you.”

“Thanks.” She tensely watched the track, wishing he’d do the same.

A mile or so on, they emerged from the bush and approached another gate. Harry jumped out to open it with the truck still edging forward.

“You’ll be doing this in future,” he said, back behind the wheel, grinding the gears as the truck leapt forward. “We’ll let you off today.” Then he was gone again to close it.

Caitlin looked ahead at an amazing green oasis—Tall Trees, her new home. An avenue of shady trees with broad flat leaves she couldn’t identify, led up to the house. In the island formed by the circular sweep of gravel driveway, a sprinkler pumped out a wide arc of spray over lush green lawns and a rose garden.

She felt the wrench of homesickness, surprised to find roses thriving here. She needed to be somewhere that had no resemblance at all to Ireland. “Where does the water come from?”

“Bore water. They’re lucky at Tall Trees. There’s a good underground supply.”

The house was older and certainly bigger than she had imagined. Built of sandstone blocks, it had four stately chimneys rising from its iron roof. A graceful curve of iron sheltered the wide verandah. She walked up to the front door. It had a light-well above it with Tall Trees etched into the glass.

“The jackeroo compound is down the bottom of the hill,” Harry said, pointing away to the right of the house. He carried her suitcase as if it was packed with feathers. “You want some riding lessons, come find me.”

“Thanks, Harry.”

“Angela’s a real character,” he said. “Wait till you hear her yodel, she’s a champ—won the pub talent contest four times running. The chooks love it.” He took off his boots on the verandah, placing them together by the door. Caitlin stood, wondering if she should do the same, was it a custom here, like in Japan? He opened the screen door and called into the gloom of the central hallway, “Angela?”

“Come in and have a cuppa.” Angela appeared from the end of the hall. She brought with her the aroma of something fresh-baked and delicious. Caitlin saw with relief that she was wearing shoes.

“You’ve taken off those beloved boots of yours, Harry, I’m pleased to see.” She turned to Caitlin and in the same breath said, “You must be the new girl. Caitlin isn’t it?”

Caitlin moved forward to shake the woman’s hand. She was small and thin, her hair streaked with grey, but her grip was like iron.

“I’m pleased to meet you, Angela,” Caitlin said to her back as she hurried off down the hall.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Angela said over her shoulder. “I have my work to be getting on with. The children are out in the kitchen, having their tea. Come through.”

Caitlin and Harry followed her down the deep blue-and-gold hall carpet, laid over timber floors. Lights like upturned crystal bowls hung from the high ceiling. Oil paintings dressed the walls. The kitchen was an airy room at the back of the house with both a wood stove and a more modern one. Windows looked out over a kitchen garden and open paddocks to the fringe of thick bush land. At a well-scrubbed, wooden table sat two children, gazing at Caitlin from over the top of their mugs.

“This is Elizabeth, the eldest, she’s eight.” Angela put her hand on the sandy curls of the girl. “And this is William.”

“I’m six,” William said, wiping his milk moustache. He was a beautiful little boy with dark hair, smooth olive skin and startling blue eyes.

“Hello, Elizabeth. Hello, William. I’m very glad to be finally meeting you both,” Caitlin said, smiling. “I’ve bought you both a present all the way from Ireland. When I’ve unpacked my case I’ll give them to you.” She’d brought them some books and two, woolly black-faced sheep, different from the Australian ones.

Elizabeth was a pale, slightly built child. She had a high-strung look about her, her skin stretched tight over the delicate bones of her face. She screwed up her freckled nose. “Your hair is the color of beetroots,” she said dispassionately.

William giggled and twisted up his napkin, tossing it onto the floor. “Red as a beetroot,” he parroted. “I hate beetroot!”

“Now you two,” warned Angela. “That’s no way to behave. Apologize to Caitlin.”

Elizabeth looked mutinous.

“No, don’t worry about that now, Angela,” Caitlin said, hastily. “I’d love that cup of tea. I declare, I’m as dry as a pharaoh’s tomb.”

“What’s a faro’s toom?” asked William.

“Have you heard of the pyramids in Egypt?” she asked him, gratefully accepting the cup of tea Angela placed before her.

“Tell me.”

“Pharaoh’s were kings a long, long time ago. When they died, their people buried them in tombs beneath the pyramids. Pyramids are shaped like this.” She drew an outline on the tablecloth with a fork. “They’re strange and mysterious. I’ll show you a picture of them, perhaps tomorrow, okay?”

“Our mother died,” said Elizabeth, in a conversational tone.

“Oh, yes, I know. I’m so sorry.” Caitlin silently cursed her clumsiness.

“I can’t remember her very well, but Daddy says she was pretty. She didn’t have freckles.” Elizabeth left her seat and came close to Caitlin, peering into her face. “You’ve got freckles too. Like me.” Her sweet child’s breath touched Caitlin’s cheek.

“I like my freckles,” Caitlin said, resisting the urge to hug her. “I’ll have to wear a big hat and keep out of the sun because I burn easily.”

“Daddy doesn’t like freckles.” Elizabeth looked as if she might cry.

“Oh, I’m sure he likes yours.”

“No. He gets cross when I get burned, but I forget.”

“Perhaps we can help each other remember.”

Angela winked at her. “Now if you’ve finished your tea, Caitlin, I’ll show you your room.”

The bedroom opened onto the verandah.

“You’ll have that door open most nights.” Angela pointed up to the high ceiling where a fan slowly rotated. “It’s hard to get a breeze out of that this time of year.”

Someone had taken great care with the room. The walls were papered in yellow wallpaper with a frieze of violets round the top. The bed had a white, wrought-iron bed head and a dainty, patchwork bedspread like one Caitlin’s mother once had. A mosquito net hung above the bed by a hook. Freshly picked, white roses spilled out from a vase on the old cedar dresser, dropping petals. A hook rug in cool greens that might have been homemade covered the bare boards. In front of the fireplace was a wooden rocker with a yellow cushion.

“This is lovely,” Caitlin said, surprised. “Thank you for the roses.”

“Not my doing,” Angela replied. “Bathroom’s down the hall. I’ll leave you to get settled.”

Left alone, Caitlin sat down and rocked for a few minutes. Apart from a few birdcalls outside and the muffled sounds of the children from the kitchen, it was very quiet. She took a deep breath. She’d been so afraid this mad escape to the other side of the world would be a failure. She let her breath out slowly, and felt her tense muscles begin to unwind.

* * * *

The next morning at breakfast there was still no sign of Jake Monterey. Caitlin and the children ate their bacon, eggs and sausage. She’d asked for cereal, but Angela insisted that everyone should eat a good solid breakfast to set them up for the day. Caitlin decided to deal with that later and told the children what their daily routine would be.

Elizabeth’s bottom lip stuck out. “We ride our ponies every day, for hours.”

“And I’m allowed to jump my pony. Daddy set up a jump out in the paddock,” William said.

Caitlin poured milk into her tea. “You are both so clever to be able to ride. I wish I could.”

“Can’t you ride at all?” Elizabeth’s eyes were scornful.

“Now, Missy, don’t you be so rude. Eat your breakfast.” Angela muttered, “She doesn’t eat enough to keep a bird alive.”

Elizabeth pushed her plate away, barely touched.

Caitlin rose to take her plate to the sink. “I’m planning to learn to ride and then I might ride with you.”

“I could teach you how to jump,” William said, jumping up and down on his chair.

“How nice of you to offer,” Caitlin said. “Of course you can ride, every day after afternoon lessons. But you shall not jump your pony, William, until your father returns and gives his permission.”

Both children looked at her as they took this in, and the moment passed without argument.

She felt it went well until she saw the expression on Elizabeth’s face. One you’d find on an ailing eighty-year-old. It sent a cold shaft of unease straight to Caitlin’s heart.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Chapter Two

Five days passed and still no a sign of the children’s father. Caitlin introduced her routine: breakfast, lessons, lunch, and lessons again until afternoon tea, then fresh air and exercise, which meant a walk for her while the children gamboled about on their ponies, dinner, listening to the radio or reading for an hour, bath, supper, followed by prayers, then bed. There was television that a satellite disk on the roof supplied, but she thought she’d wait for their father before she allowed it. For the first few days, the children grumbled at spending so much time indoors at lessons, but they didn’t rebel, although Elizabeth remained uncommunicative and suspicious of her. Only once when Caitlin asked her to write a sentence on the blackboard, did she show any real emotion. “You’re not the boss of me,” she said, her lip trembling. “You’re not my mother.”

Caitlin pulled her gently down on the seat beside her. “Did your mother teach you your lessons?”

She nodded.

“And did she paint some of those lovely pictures hanging on the walls?” She’d seen Caroline’s name on some of the flower paintings.

“Yes, I think so,” Elizabeth said, rubbing her eyes.

“She was very clever, wasn’t she? Now I’m here to help take care of you and William and to teach you your school work. But I’m not here to take your mother’s place. She was special.”

Caitlin didn’t sleep well. She lay with an arm thrown over her head watching the moon climb high in a star-lit sky through the break in the curtains. She couldn’t yet lay her grim past to rest. She was still flinching at shadows. It made her anxious that she couldn’t identify the foreign noises beyond the window. She was dozing when she heard a child cry out. Elizabeth’s room was next to hers. She pulled on her gown and went to the girl’s door, wondering if she was just having a nightmare. She peeped in and could just make out the small form in the bed. It was light enough to see Elizabeth’s shoulders shaking. Caitlin came to the bed and turned on the lamp.

Sitting on the side of the bed, she stroked the little girl’s hair. “What’s the matter, Elizabeth? Did you have a bad dream?”

“I want my Daddy,” she said in a small voice.

“He’s coming home soon, sweetheart.”

“I want him now!”

Caitlin sat with Elizabeth, continuing to stroke her hair, until she cried herself to sleep. Then she tiptoed out, fuming. She would have plenty to say to Jake Monterey when he finally decided to come home.

* * * *

They’d just finished lessons on the Friday afternoon when a roar sounded overhead. The children ran outside with Caitlin close behind them, as a small single-engine plane disappeared over the house, flying low.

“It’s Daddy,” Elizabeth and William cried, dancing about.

Caitlin suddenly felt nervous. She had never met her employer—not even spoken to him on the phone. Everything had been arranged through an agency. Now she was to share a house with him. She’d have to give up sitting on the verandah at night in her nightgown, her feet tucked under her, listening to the cacophony of strange bird and animal sounds emerging from the dark.

Before he arrived at the house, she raced into her bedroom and checked her appearance in the wardrobe mirror. She’d resorted to shorts and a tank top with sandals out of necessity. She wondered if she should change into something more business-like, then decided against it. Start as you mean to go on, her mother always said. She ran a brush through her hair and tied it back, adding a spot of lip gloss and a dab of sage-green eye shadow. Despite her efforts, freckles marched across her nose and cheeks. She shrugged and went to join the children on the front verandah.

A Jeep appeared out of the bush and crunched its way around the gravel drive, pulling up at the front door. A man and a woman climbed out.

Caitlin had expected Jake Monterey to be close to forty, but this man was no more than thirty, a grown-up version of William. His dark hair was quite long, curling over his collar. He was better dressed than she imagined a cattleman to be. The jeans that encased his long, lean thighs were not the kick-around variety, and he carried a tan leather jacket, thrown over his shoulder. The woman accompanying him was small and had short blonde hair. She was dressed in pale blue jeans tailored to her figure and wore impossibly high-heeled sandals on her tiny feet. As they approached the steps, she struggled to keep her balance on the rough ground.

An urban creature, Caitlin decided. Well, so was she—but anyone can change. She watched as the woman picked her way cautiously over the gravel, clutching Jake’s arm for support.

The children broke away from Caitlin and rushed down the steps to grab their father around his legs. Miss High-heels gave a squeak of protest.

“Careful kids,” Jake said in response. They stopped as if pulled back by some invisible wire and fell behind, as the pair made their way up the verandah steps seemingly joined at the hip. Caitlin looked at Elizabeth’s downcast little face and felt another flush of anger. What was this man doing gallivanting about when his children needed him? But it was a rash judgment. As soon as he’d deposited Miss High-heels onto the verandah, he squatted down, wrapped an arm around them both and soon had them squealing in delight.

When he finally broke away, he stood and faced Caitlin and she saw the scar, pale on his tanned face. It caught the corner of one eye, pulling it slightly and rather rakishly before snaking its way over his cheekbone, ending at the jaw line.

“Welcome to Tall Trees, Caitlin. I’m sorry I was called away just before you arrived. My mother lives in Darwin and she needed my assistance. I hope you’ve found everything acceptable.”

She shook his hand. “I’m very comfortable, thank you.” She wondered if she should call him by his first name, but sensed he wouldn’t welcome familiarity. She was after all, just the hired help. She was keen to talk to him about Elizabeth who was a complicated little girl. She needed to know more about the past in dealing with her. William was much simpler. He just needed love and Caitlin doubted he got enough of it.

“This is Vanessa Colleridge. Vanessa, Caitlin Fitzgerald, my children’s new governess.”

Vanessa gave Caitlin a brief, icy glance. “How’d you do,” she said, before turning back to Jake. “I’d love that drink, Jake.”

“I could do with one, myself. Come into the living room, kids and have a coke. Vanessa has brought you a bag of sweets each.”

Caitlin inwardly groaned. The pair would be hyperactive and difficult at bedtime. She watched as they entered the living room, leaving her standing in the hall. Grateful for a little time to herself, she decided to go for a walk before dinner. As she trudged across a paddock, making for a fence in the distance, she thought about Vanessa Colleridge, hoping her instincts were wrong about her, if it was true that she was soon to be the children’s stepmother.

* * * *

Reaching the fence, Caitlin looked down at the cluster of buildings in the distance. This was where Harry and the hired hands lived, presumably. She walked part way down the hill and sat on a big, smooth rock still radiating heat from the sun. But the air was cooler now, and softer. Spread out before her was the timeless, desert land of the Aborigines, a sacred, ancient place, eerily beautiful, and dangerous. She was quickly adjusting to the space and the silence. She sat for a while relishing the peace then, noticing the shadows growing longer, began to head back before it grew too dark.

She stopped to get her bearings. There was a line of trees between where she stood and the house that she had marked earlier. She left the fence and began to walk across a paddock of long grass. A rustling sound near her feet made her look down. She was completely unprepared by what she saw. A dusty-black snake was only a few steps away, coiling and uncoiling its body. It flicked its tongue at her. A chill of fear raced up her spine as she grappled with her lack of knowledge. Should she run?

“Step back.” A hand came from behind her, holding a forked stick. It stabbed at the snake, pinning its head to the ground. Caitlin jerked herself from her frozen stance and found her feet, leaping into action. She didn’t look back until she’d reached the house. Bent double, she gasped for breath. The story that Saint Patrick drove all the snakes from Ireland could well be true, for she’d certainly never come across one. Why had she come to this dreadful place?

She watched Jake Monterey throw away the stick as he came striding towards her, his dark eyebrows knitted into a heavy scowl.

“What were you doing walking about in long grass, with those scrappy shoes on your feet? Didn’t you bring better footwear?” His anger brought out a slight accent that wasn’t Australian.

Caitlin was tempted to reply that Vanessa was similarly ill-equipped. “I have shoes and boots, but it’s so hot.”

“For God’s sake put them on next time you tackle the bush, and don’t get lost. It’s close on dusk. I’ve enough to do without having to send out a search party for you.”

He turned and opened the screen door for her.

Who did he think he was? Fear and outrage bubbled up inside her like a wellspring. As she passed by him she said, “There was no way I would’ve got lost. I knew exactly where I was the whole time. I kept the fence in view.”

Jake put his arm across the doorway, halting her progress. She baulked. He was so close she could see the fringe of black eyelashes above dark blue eyes like William’s. Jake’s eyes were very grown up, however, and they held a spark of anger. “That fence goes for hundreds of miles. Too bad if you took off in the wrong direction. I’m making a point of this, Caitlin, because you do not yet understand how easy it is to get lost and die out here.”

“Surely you don’t expect me to stay cooped up in the house all the time?” she said, the fight draining out of her. She was very conscious of Jake’s proximity, his musky aftershave. Perhaps he felt something too as he removed his hand quickly. Once they were in the hall, he frowned down at her.

“No, of course not. That was never my intention. Saturdays are your own time as was agreed,” his voice mellowed. “I’m aware there’s not a lot for a young woman to do around here. Next time I go to Darwin and take the kids with me, Harry can run you into the local township. When you’re more confident with the conditions, perhaps you can drive yourself.”

He paused, as his gaze traveled over her, taking in her unsuitable attire, her bare midriff and legs. She felt herself flush. “I can’t deny I was delighted at the prospect of having a qualified teacher here for Elizabeth and William. But at the same time I felt uneasy about hiring someone who doesn’t understand this country and can’t ride. Don’t let me down, Caitlin. If you go off anywhere by yourself, have a plan, tell someone where you are going and do it when there’s plenty of daylight left. Do you understand?”

“Perhaps, if you’d been here to explain all this when I arrived, Mr. Monterey,” Caitlin said, fighting to keep her voice even toned. “We might not be having this conversation. And I need to talk to you about the children, when you have a moment.”

He frowned. “You have a problem?”

The inference that she wasn’t handling her job hung in the air. She spoke quietly lest Elizabeth hear. “I am worried about Elizabeth. She suffers from nightmares.”

“I know. Elizabeth has an overactive imagination, like most eight-year olds,” he said stiffly.

She would not spare him. “And she cried for you.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He turned away without further explanation and left her alone in the hall.

In her room, Caitlin rocked her rocking chair as if it would magically take her away. Jake Monterey was a patriarchal monster who clearly thought her a helpless female. She’d fought too hard for her independence to stand for that. She could leave. Find another job. But the thought caused more pain and fear than staying to tough it out. First chance she got, she would go down to the stockmen’s quarters, find Harry and take him up on his promise. Riding would give her some measure of autonomy. And she wouldn’t be telling Mr. Mighty Boots, Jake Monterey, anything about it until she could ride extremely well, indeed.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Chapter Three

Jake took Vanessa home the next morning. She’d complained about the heat and the ineffectual air-conditioning until even he seemed frustrated. Just before they left, Caitlin overheard Vanessa outside her room speaking on the phone to her mother. “Don’t worry, Mum, when we’re married and the kids are in boarding school, we’ll spend most of our time back there in Darwin. Jake can find someone to run this place for him.”

Caitlin wondered if Jake would agree to that. Although Vanessa was persuasive, Jake would be a difficult man to manipulate.

When she and the children went to the kitchen for their morning tea, Angela asked, “How’s your Nanna, Elizabeth?”

“Daddy brought her home from hospital. She has plaster on her leg and I’m going to write my name on it when Daddy takes us to Darwin.”

While Jake was still away, Caitlin went in search of pencils in his office, a building separate from the house. It was very orderly, folders labeled and stacked neatly onto shelves, but somehow that didn’t surprise her, he certainly liked to be in control of things.

On the huge old cedar desk sat a framed photograph of the children with a woman who must have been their mother, Caroline. Caitlin felt like an intruder, but couldn’t resist taking a closer look. Caroline smiled a sweet indulgent smile of love at the person taking her picture, and Caitlin wondered what awful fate befell her. She could ask Angela, of course, but she didn’t want to be seen as gossiping about the boss behind his back. She guessed she’d find out soon enough. Caroline was pretty and fair like Elizabeth. And Caitlin bet she had freckles.

* * * *

Caitlin’s routine with Elizabeth and William went relatively smoothly, although her uneasiness over Elizabeth didn’t dissipate. It seemed that the little girl just went through the motions, not relating to anyone around her, except her father to whom she clung.

Jake was gone the best part of every day. At four o’clock, he’d come home and Caitlin would go off for some free time on her own. She would do her washing, or some reading, constantly thinking of new things to stimulate and amuse the kids, to make learning a joy. At night she dined with the family, but Jake would have a tray sent out to his office. Caitlin strongly disapproved of this, but held her Irish temper in check. After their bad beginning, she wanted to be sure of her position before inviting another tirade from Mr. Monterey. Since that first day, he was always unfailingly polite, but she couldn’t help feeling that he was keeping his distance from her.

On her first day off, she told Angela she was going to see Harry. She ran across the paddock, her eyes searching for snakes and walked the mile downhill. The sun was the usual flaming ball suspended in a cloudless sky. Her jeans stuck to her legs and her feet burned in their boots. By the time she arrived at the stables and the stockmen’s living quarters, a group of wooden buildings hunkered down in the bush, she looked like an entrant in a wet t-shirt competition. She had abandoned her bra in her quest to beat the heat and looked down with dismay at the two large circles of sweat ringing her nipples, just as Harry emerged from a building, followed by two other men.

Cringing with embarrassment, she longed to cross her arms as Harry introduced the other two men, Mick and Riley. They each in turn grabbed her hand and gave it a hearty shake, grinning.

“Good thing you came down. We’ll be off mustering soon,” said Harry.

“How many cows do you have?” Caitlin asked.

They all laughed. “We have ten thousand head—takes us a while to round ‘em up.”

Her discomfort quickly faded, as she detected no sign of lasciviousness in their gaze.

“You need a decent hat, Caitlin,” observed Mick, a dark-haired young man with a cheerful, albeit pockmarked face.

“Go and grab one of those spare Akubra’s, Mike,” Harry asked him.

“No worries.” Mike walked back to the shed, kicking dirt into the air.

“I came to take you up on your offer, Harry,” Caitlin said. “If you could find time to teach me to ride, I’d be grateful.”

Harry tipped his hat back, and smiled. “The pleasure will be all mine, Caitlin.”

“I’d like my riding lessons to remain a secret. I want to surprise the children.”

“And Jake Monterey?” Harry grinned, displaying more acuity than she gave him credit for on their first meeting.

“Well … it would give me some kudos I think I need at the moment,” she said, smiling back.

“No sense in beating your head around the bush.”

“Meaning?”

Harry took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair. “I can’t say he’s not a fair man, but he’s built a wall around himself in the last few years since he came here.”

“I thought he’d lived here forever.”

“No. Tall Trees belonged to his wife’s family. Jake was born in America, came to Australia when he was a teenager.”

Caitlin had noticed a difference in Jake’s accent to other Australians. She opened her mouth to ask Harry what had happened to give Jake that scar, but Mick came back with the distinctive khaki felt hat and placed it on her head, tilting it slightly.

They all surveyed her.

“You look terrific in that,” Riley said, looking up at her with a smile, he was shorter than her by several inches.

“There’s plenty of daylight left. We’ll start that lesson right now,” Harry said. “Come to the stables and I’ll find a quiet ‘un for you.”

She hadn’t expected to be thrown straight in the deep end and her heart began to thud at the prospect. They entered the cool, dim stables.

Harry moved along the row of horses stabled there. Big, brown horse eyes surveyed her nervously, the white of their eyes glowing. She suspected this was not going to be as easy as learning to drive a car.

Harry selected a dark brown horse with a strange patterning of white, almost diamond shapes. It was the smallest horse they had, but it looked pretty big to Caitlin.

“This is Coke a Cola,” he said, throwing the saddle over and tightening the girth strap.

“Oh, I can’t call him that,” Caitlin said, putting up a tentative hand to stroke his nose.

“Coke’s a mare.”

“Then I’ll definitely have to think up a better name for her.”

Harry led the horse out into the open air and the heat and glare hit Caitlin again. She wiped her brow with the back of her hand.

“If I were you I’d cut those jeans off at the knees,” he said. “And get some shorts.”

“Shorts? Jake told me they weren’t suitable out here.”

“Did he?” Harry laughed. “I guess he had his own reasons. And I have mine.” He tied the horse up and disappeared back inside. “I’ll just saddle up Thunderbolt and be with you in a minute.”

Caitlin patted the horse’s neck. She was so pretty. “I’m going to call you Columbine,” she said softly.

“I’ll give you a leg up,” Harry said, right behind her.

“Wait … don’t you think you should give me some instructions first? Like, where’s the brake?”

Harry laughed. “You’ll learn as we go. Put your foot in the stirrup, here … and up you go.” He almost threw Caitlin up into the saddle. She perched there uneasily as he adjusted the stirrups. “Hold the reins so. Right.”

He proceeded to tell her how to lead the horse and hopefully make it stop. Caitlin seemed to be very high above the hard ground and held on tightly as the horse fidgeted. She figured it was a Catch 22. Columbine could tell she was inexperienced. It made the horse jumpy and that in turn made Caitlin even more nervous.

“Off we go.”

Harry looked like he could sleep and eat in the saddle and he probably did. He led his big chestnut out of the mounting yard and along the track. Columbine followed. Caitlin didn’t seem to need to contribute anything, apart from staying on, but this became quite a feat in itself as they began to descend a steep slope.

“You’re going to be a natural,” Harry said in an encouraging voice. He reined in alongside her. “You look good in the saddle.”

Columbine’s hooves kept sliding on the steep, dusty ground and Caitlin did what Harry advised, stiffening her legs and leaning back to prevent herself from falling over the horse’s neck. Once on level ground again she breathed a huge sigh of relief.

“You handled that well. Now we’ll try a trot.” The words made her heart begin its frantic beating again. Columbine obligingly broke into a trot following Thunderbolt along the path. Caitlin’s bottom rhythmically hit the saddle, bump, bump, which quickly began to feel like it was made out of rock instead of leather.

* * * *

That night, Jake came to eat at the dinner table with Caitlin and the children. “I believe you went down to the compound this afternoon,” he said, glancing at her as he carved the roast beef.

She felt unaccountably guilty—after all the time was her own. She moved uncomfortably on her chair, wishing she could put a cushion under her bottom. “Yes, I wanted to ask Harry if he could to take me into town next Saturday, as you suggested.”

“I’m sure he will,” Jake placed a slice of meat on her plate.

She nodded. “I’m looking forward to it.”

Jake suddenly grinned and she caught her breath. It was a very beguiling smile. “Don’t expect too much, Caitlin. It really is a one-horse town—nothing like Dublin.”

“Have you been to Ireland, Mr. Monterey?”

“It’s Jake. We’re not into formality in these parts and no, not yet.”

“It’s a completely different world.”

“You must find it strange here.”

“I’m getting used to it. Don’t worry. I don’t expect to find Dublin down the road.”

“Only those that love and live in Burrawong would call it a town. It’s just a cluster of houses and a couple of shops. The pub’s the hub of excitement around here and does a fair meal. Nothing fancy.”

“I need to buy bathers and a few things.”

“A swimming costume? There’s a store there sells women’s clothes, but I don’t know about costumes.”

Elizabeth interjected at this point. “Daddy, Caitlin has promised to take us swimming in the dam.”

The smile left Jake’s eyes. To Caitlin, it felt like a cloud had passed over the sun. “Angela might be able to find one you can use,” he said, putting down his knife and fork. “Nothing glamorous though.”

“Thank you. Is that okay?” Caitlin asked uneasily. “To take them swimming, I mean.”

“Pleeese Daddy,” interjected Elizabeth, with William joining in.

“Sure, it’s okay,” he patted William’s head as he rose from the table. Placing his uneaten meal on a tray he headed for his office.

At the door he turned, as if he’d forgotten all about her, and said, “I’ll have Angela dig those costumes out for you.”

She watched the screen door slam wondering what had just happened.

After dinner, she ran a bath and eased her aching body into it, feeling as if she’d gone a round or two in the ring with a boxing kangaroo. The bore water was quite hard, and made her hair feel stiff. She had to use loads of conditioner. As she lay in the cooling water, she thought about Jake’s reaction at dinner. His guard had slipped, if only briefly. Would the real Jake emerge more and more with time? She found it an odd situation, being isolated from the world and part of a family, yet at the same time, merely an employee. Even at his most surly he was far too attractive, and when he smiled! She sensed she would need to keep some distance from him for pure self-preservation. There would be no problem with that for he seemed intent on the same thing.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Chapter Four

Wandering around the maze of rooms at Tall Trees, Caitlin discovered a surprisingly wide-ranging library. Caroline Monterey had been its creator, she suspected, for her name was written on the fly-leaf of many of the books. She couldn’t help wondering what Caroline had been like. The many homely touches about the house and the paintings pointed to her love of craft and now Caitlin had discovered the kind of books she liked to read.

She raked through the shelves and pounced on a favorite, Jane Austin’s Persuasion, taking it to her room. She thought she’d soon be immersed in nineteenth-century English society, but found she kept reading the same lines over and over again, as her mind drifted. She had hoped leaving Ireland would put the past year out of her mind.

So far it hadn’t.

Caitlin found herself leaning back in her rocker like Whistler’s Mother, dwelling on the past, and with it came the familiar, grinding sense of fear.

She never knew her father. He died when she was a baby and her mother brought her up alone. She was a great single parent, and Caitlin never felt she was missing out on anything the other school children had. But when she was seventeen, her mother began to have problems with her sight and co-ordination and learned she had developed Multiple Sclerosis. It took all Caitlin’s spare time and energy to care for her. Her mother wasn’t one of the luckier ones who went into remission or managed to live a fairly comfortable life. She went downhill very quickly and died when Caitlin was nineteen, leaving her the money she’d saved for her to go to teacher’s college. Caitlin had been determined not to let her mother down and, ignoring the dating experiences of friends and fellow students, she worked hard to realize the dream her mother had for her, which at that time, she felt sure was her dream too. She remembered graduating with both a feeling of achievement and a great sense of loss.

With the proceeds from the sale of their small cottage, she bought a flat and took up a teaching position in Dublin. Her future seemed mapped out for her, but she felt increasingly restless and lonely. Looking back, she saw she was vulnerable when she went to a local pub for Christmas drinks with a teacher friend and met Maxwell Haughton.

Maxwell was English, but his roots were in Ireland. Tall, slim and fair-haired, he dressed more formally than the other young men she’d met, always with a designer jacket and a silk tie, although the only work he did was from home, writing articles and book reviews for the Dublin Times. He was well educated, having gone to Eaton and Cambridge, and had an English sense of humor, which had a crueler edge to it than the Irish.

Max was different from anyone she’d ever known. Much of his character was attributable, she suspected, to his ancestry, which lent him an aristocratic profligacy that she’d found romantic. He was careless about money, probably because he’d never been without it. She was surprised to find his family seldom came to Ireland to stay in their ancient mansion on the coast, south of Dublin. She was quickly learning that these people lived by a different set of rules.

Looking back, had she been older and wiser, she might have heard the warning bells ring when he revealed an unpredictable moodiness in his character. But she had no model on which to base their relationship—no father or brothers to advise and protect her, and she fell headlong in love with him.

Max made no such declarations. He simply claimed her as his own and their lives began to conform to a pattern. He mixed with an avant-garde crowd of Dubliners who gathered at a pub near Trinity College every Friday evening. They, with their slick, malicious repartee, politely included Caitlin as part of their set, but she was seldom more than an observer. She failed her first important test when asked which of the three colleges she’d attended. She was from the north, they from the south, polar opposites it seemed, destined never to gain any real level of understanding, although she did try hard, at first.

Six months after she and Max began dating, he took her down to his family home, Mowat Manor for the weekend. They drove to Wexford in his Austin Healey with the top down. After traveling for an hour, the wind, laden with icy condensation off the sea, caused her nose to run and she had to fumble for a hanky.

She never felt calm when driving with Max. He always drove too fast for comfort. They raced through the old seaside town of Howth, with its small, square houses clustered around a bay. Their grey, slate roofs and fresh, whitewashed walls looked like the sea wind had washed them clean. A fishing boat had just returned with its catch and the gulls had settled in a discordant group along the rock seawall, rising shrilly as they drove by.

They began to climb, the road winding around the edge of the cliff-face, passing a charming, ancient church she would have loved to explore, but she knew Max was intent on reaching Mowat and wouldn’t stop, so she didn’t ask.

As they progressed, the road narrowed. Only a few meters from the car, the ground dropped steeply away. Far below, slippery, lichen-covered rocks took the brunt of the restless Irish Sea.

“Your nose is red,” Max said, turning to look at her.

“Please watch the road.”

“Are you afraid?”

“A little,” she answered then bit her lip.

His eyebrows rose. “You have a right to be afraid.”

“Don’t be so melodramatic, Max.”

He laughed. “I can drive this road blindfolded.”

“Please don’t try with me in the car.”

The wind blew off her orange scarf and ripped it from her stiffening fingers. It sailed over the edge of the cliff, the only spot of color to be seen in the grey landscape.

“I’ll buy you a new one. French silk.” Max said, managing to spoil his generous offer by denigrating the one she had lost. Her hair began to whip about, stinging her cold face. She tried to hold it back as the car sped around another, alarming bend. Overhead, gulls soared, filling the air with their mournful cries, like a sad dirge.

Max followed the curve of a high, stone wall around another hairpin bend. Relieved, Caitlin saw a set of imposing, wrought iron gates come into view, standing open. Barely reducing speed, Max drove into a driveway. He skidded to avoid potholes. Gnarled, twisted trees eerily stretched out their skeletal branches, as if in appeal. Another bend surrounded by overgrown gardens and a Georgian manor house came into view. Mowat.

Max stamped on the brake and skidded with a spray of gravel, pulling up right in front of the imposing front entrance. He jumped out without opening the door, and came to open hers before getting their bags from the boot.

She climbed out slowly, taking stock. Mowat’s windows blankly mirrored the grey sky. Creeper covered its entire front façade. The woodwork needed paint, in fact, the whole place cried out for attention. What a lovely house it must once have been and could still be.

“Well, what do you think?” Caitlin detected the note of pride in Max’s voice before he retreated behind his mask of indifference.

From the top step she turned and took in the slate-colored sea dotted with white caps. Out on the horizon a sea fog was closing in.

“It’s sensational.”

“You really think so?”

He sounded so boyish she hid a smile. “I do. Why don’t you come down here more often?”

“The lack of mod cons, mostly. Come inside.”

He unlocked the door and led her into a large hall with a grand staircase. Aged Persian rugs covered the oak floors.

“Samuel and Brigitte live in a cottage at the back. I’ll let them know we’ve arrived.”

Caitlin followed him through a series of chilly, under-furnished rooms until they came to a smaller and much more livable one. Two floral, upholstered chairs sat in front of a fireplace where a fire had been laid. Max took out his cigarette lighter and crouched down. Very soon flames burst forth and Caitlin moved closer, eager for warmth.

“This is the morning room. I’ll arrange for Brigitte to bring us tea.”

She sank into the down-filled cushions covered with faded, pink damask roses.

Max was gone quite awhile. Curiosity got the better of her and she rose and walked out onto a terrace, finding herself in a walled garden. It was sheltered here and charming. A black bird washed itself in a birdbath on the smooth, emerald lawn. Roses scented the air.

“How lovely,” she said aloud.

“Caitlin?” she turned. Max stood at the doorway frowning. “Don’t wander off by yourself.”

“I have no intention of doing so. Not when tea is at hand.” She smiled at the woman placing a tray on the coffee table.

“Brigitte, this is my fiancee, Caitlin Fitzgerald.”

The woman looked at Caitlin in surprise as she tried to hide her own amazement. She and Max had never discussed marriage. Brigitte unloaded the tray. A flowery teapot and cups, matching milk jug and sugar bowl, a plate of sandwiches and another loaded with thick slabs of iced cake.

Congratulations to you both,” Brigitte said her brown eyes serious. “It’s very nice to meet you, Caitlin. I’ll leave you both to enjoy your tea.”

When the door shut, Caitlin turned to Max. “You’ve shocked her. And me. What’s this about our engagement?”

“I decided we should get married.”

“You don’t think you should have asked me first?”

“I probably should have, but seeing you here … you will, won’t you?”

Caitlin waited for a feeling of joy of being loved and desired, their future ahead of them. But instead she felt troubled. Max was a complex man. His strange moods veering from insecurity to arrogance should have warned her from the first, but instead it drew her to him. She thought she could help him. She had confided in a friend at school who had shook her head and said, “You’re a rescuer, Caitlin. That seldom works.”

“I need to think about this, Max,” she said gently, aware that she could hurt him. He turned and stared into the fire. Illuminated by its glow, his face closed down. Minutes passed. He seemed hardly aware of her now.

“Just give me a little time,” she urged.

They drank their tea in silence. She’d lost her appetite and could eat little. There was a lump in her throat. When she put down her cup, he stood and said, “Come and see upstairs. There’s a fine view.”

He took her hand and silently led her up the stairs. They passed too many empty rooms to count, and entered a gracious bedroom whose windows looked out over the sea.

“Oh, a four-poster,” Caitlin said brightly. “And look at the view.” She moved towards the window, feeling Max’s eyes on her.

“Come here,” he said.

She turned to find him lying on the bed.

She swallowed and came to sit beside him. He pulled her down to him. The damask swag of curtains gave off a musty smell. He kissed her, his hands cupping her breasts. She had anticipated that they would make love for the first time this weekend. Max had always pulled away from her when things went too far, despite her passion and curiosity. But what had happened downstairs now made her unsure and it was she who eased away from him.

He turned on his side studying her. “I thought you wanted to make love.”

She didn’t know what to say. What was wrong with her? “I think we should give it more time.”

“How much time do you need? It’s the natural development of a relationship between man and a woman, isn’t it?”

She could see Max interpreted her reticence as inexperience “I know. I’m just not ready, Max.”

He rolled off the bed. “Come downstairs, I’ll show the rest of the house.”

They wandered from room to room. It seemed such a waste to Caitlin that no one lived here and loved this gracious, old home. They walked through the walled garden. Max opened an ivy covered gate in the wall and they entered a formal garden with clipped box hedges and statuary.

“I’m glad these gardens are cared for,” she said.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I hate to see things die.”

He looked at her, his grey eyes thoughtful. “You’re grounded, Caitlin, strong. I’m afraid sometimes…”

“Afraid? Of what, Max?”

“We all live blindly on the edge of a precipice. If we overbalance…. “he picked a white rose and presented it to her.

She saw the drop of blood on his finger. “Oh Max look, you’ve pricked yourself.”

He shook his head dismissing it. “The thing is, Caitlin,” he went on, “You are one of those rare people. It would take an a lot for you to topple, and I have this feeling, this hope, that you can keep me from falling.”

She swallowed. “What on earth has made you feel this way?”

“I don’t know,” he said impatiently, running his hands through his hair. “You don’t want to marry me, do you?”

“Oh, Max. You took me by surprise that’s all. I care about you. Don’t you know that?”

“But it’s not enough!”

“I guess it’s just too soon,” she repeated. Feeling confused she wandered away down the path.

“I think we should leave now,” Max called.

She turned back to him. “Leave? I thought we were staying here for the whole weekend.”

“This place bores me. I want to get back to the city.”

Caitlin guiltily followed him inside. She’d spoiled their weekend. If only he hadn’t sprung things on her so matter-of-factly. If he’d been more romantic would she have said yes? Did she love him, or was she just in love with the idea of love? She looked out the window. The mist rolled in, obliterating everything in its wake.

“I’d like to stay and see the old house properly. Can’t we do that? Anyway, the fog makes that road too dangerous.”

“I told you, I can drive it blindfolded. You can stay here, but I’m going.”

There was nothing for it, she would have to go along with him. She picked up her overnight bag from the hall as he went to speak to Brigitte.

At least he put the hood up on the car. He turned out of the gates onto the cliff road and accelerated. The thought crossed Caitlin’s mind that perhaps he might want to fall, to slip away over the side and end this awful anguish he felt inside.

And take her with him.

Her heart began to hammer in her chest as the cliff flew by them at a dizzying speed. The sea below had disappeared in a swirling, grey blanket of fog. Damp invaded the interior of the car and clung to their clothes in ghostly tendrils. Max braked into a bend then accelerated out of it, driving so fast that the tires squealed on the road. She opened her mouth to implore him to slow down, but instinct told her it would just make things worse.

Caitlin pressed her hands between her knees and prayed, her eyes never leaving the road. A sharp bend came and they were round it, then another. She was telling herself they would make it, with luck on their side, when a truck appeared around a corner, traveling in the opposite direction. Max hit the brakes and the car slid sideways across the narrow road.

Helplessly, she watched the blur of red duco rush up to meet them, followed by a shriek of metal on metal as they collided. The crash threw her backwards, jarring her neck before hurling her forward again, banging her head on the window. She was dimly aware of the never-ending screech of brakes, Max fighting the wheel, tires skidding across the slippery road. It seemed an hour before they stopped.

Caitlin touched her forehead and her hands came away covered in blood. “Max?” she whispered.

For a moment, he just sat there. When he finally turned to look at her, he said nothing. Was he disappointed they were still alive? She tried to open the door, but it was stuck. She looked out the window and saw the car was suspended over the edge of the cliff, one back wheel hanging in the air.

“We’re half over the edge,” she cried. Max came to life. He turned the ignition. The grinding sound came again and again but each time the engine coughed and stalled.

Caitlin wrestled with the door handle. “We must get out,” she cried.

Ignoring her, Max continued. Finally, he mange to start it and gunned the accelerator. The back wheels spun without gaining traction, spitting out rocks and dirt that crashed down the cliff-face. Somehow, the rear wheels caught the ground and the car moved forward. He drove them away from the cliff and pulled up.

“I’m sorry Caitlin,” he said, his face pale, but she ignored him. With a burst of strength she forced open the door and leapt out, running on shaky legs to the truck. The driver was still inside. She pried open his door. He seemed to be unconscious. His head rested on the wheel and he made a noisy, bubbling sound with each breath. She felt for his pulse. It was reedy and faint.

Max stood in the middle of the road with his cell phone. She heard him calling for an ambulance.

As she checked to see if the man’s breathing was unobstructed, he opened his eyes and looked at her vacantly. “Don’t move,” she said. “Help’s on the way.”

As she climbed into the truck beside the man and held his hand, she knew. She could never marry Max.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Chapter Five

“Don’t expect too much of Burrawong,” Harry said, winking at Caitlin as they drove through the bush.

Jake had taken the children to Darwin for the weekend and freed her up to take a trip into the local township.

“I’ve been warned. Jake said as much to me,” she replied as the Jeep careered down the hillside. She’d become used to Harry’s habit of taking his eyes off the road. There was something about him that engendered confidence. You knew if the car broke down or something else went wrong, Harry would calmly fix it.

“It’s what you call a one-horse town,” he went on.

A break in the trees gave Caitlin her first clear view across the plain. The township was a small island nestling against the highway in a vast sea of red and black soil.

When they emerged from a bushy outcrop onto the plain, she saw an extraordinary tree shaped like a big bottle, with branches growing out the top like a vase of flowers. “What on earth is that?”

“That’s a Boab.” Harry laughed. “They always bring a response. There are some around here over five hundred years old. The Aborigines use them for medicine.”

They drove past a worn cricket pitch and a sign saying Population: 400.

“Four hundred and one,” Harry said, grinning at her. “A very nice addition, if I might say so.”

“Thank you, kind sir.” Caitlin smiled. She couldn’t get her head around it, so much space and so few people.

Jake had been right. Burrawong was merely a cluster of small, rough and ready houses. The whole place had a transient feel to it. Maybe, few people chose to stay here for long. Harry parked beside the general store and pulled a machine part out of the back of the Jeep. “I’m off to the garage,” he said, pointing over the road. “I’ll catch up with you at the pub. Lunch, in half an hour. Okay?”

Outside the general store, three slender, Aboriginal boys lounged aimlessly, drinking Coke. There was a chemist and a clothing store with an old-fashioned model in the window. She headed for that, hoping to find bathers.

When Caitlin asked the woman behind the counter, she let out a cackle and two women trying on floral dresses stuck their heads out from behind the curtains in the changing rooms to join in.

“Don’t have much call for swimmers in these parts, love,” the woman said. “I did have a pair in a drawer somewhere out the back,” she added. “I’ll go see.”

While she waited, Caitlin checked along a row of gaudy, floral dresses, most were an unfashionable, shirt maker style, like her grandmother wore in a photo taken back in the fifties. She found a pink, wrap-around sundress patterned with tropical flowers. It had cut-away shoulders that would be cool, so she ducked into a cubicle to try it on.

When she emerged the two women studied her.

“That color really suits you, love,” said one. “She’s a pretty girl isn’t she?” she added, as if Caitlin wasn’t there.

“Found it.” The owner came out of the back holding up a purple-and-black ensemble with huge, built-in bra cups. She frowned. “Fraid it would fit three or four of you, love.”

Disappointed, Caitlin added a pair of olive-green linen shorts and a white, sleeveless cotton shirt to her purchase, and then crossed the dusty road to the pub.

Inside the hotel, a ceiling fan turned lazily, moving the hot air around. A few locals, seemingly impervious to the heat, sat up at the bar with Harry, drinking frosty schooners of beer. The wall behind the barman was papered with postcards. Cheery messages from all corners of the globe.

“We get a lot of tourists through here,” Harry said, following her line of vision. “This is the new governess of Tall Trees, Caitlin Fitzgerald,” he said to the men.

The men shyly murmured a greeting.

“An Irish colleen,” an old man said approvingly, raising his glass.

“We had an Irish chap come through here just last week,” one of the men said.

Caitlin’s heart went to her mouth. “What was his name?”

“Didn’t say.”

“What did he look like?” she asked feeling her body tremble.

“Big blighter, wasn’t he?” one asked the other.

“Yeah, fair hair.”

“His age?” She tried to sound casual, but she felt Harry’s eyes upon her.

“He’d be about fifty, wouldn’t he, Gary?”

“Yeah, if he was a day.”

Caitlin sighed with relief, as several postcards from Ireland were removed from their thumb tacks for her to read.

“Let’s go out onto the verandah,” Harry said.

She nodded and followed him shakily outside.

“An old boyfriend?” he asked.

She nodded.

“We’ve all got history around here,” he said. “I’ll get our drinks.”

It was no cooler under the tin roof, but a creeper growing up the verandah poles had pretty white flowers. Caitlin picked one and put it to her nose, the scent reminded her of Ireland and she threw it away.

When Harry returned carrying her drink, he’d let the matter drop. Caitlin was trying to distract herself, studying a notice pinned to a board on the pub wall. “A dance, Saturday night,” she read aloud. “With a local band. How many will come to this? Enough to make it worthwhile?”

“Sure will. They travel from all over. You must come to one of our dances. They rock.” Harry’s hazel eyes studied her over the top of his glass. “Would you like to come to this one, with me?”

“Love to.” She took a swig of ice-cold beer and a delicious chill ran down the back of her throat, cooling her down instantly. “Now I know why people drink beer around here,” she said.

Harry winked at her and raised his glass. He was good company. Even their riding lessons were fun, but she couldn’t help wishing it was Jake. She banished the thought with a frown.

“You okay?”

“I’m thinking of my next riding lesson and wondering if parts of my anatomy will have recovered sufficiently.”

“You’re a natural,” Harry said. She felt his eyes on her. “Won’t Jake be surprised?” He leaned forward. “Would you like me to teach you how to handle a rifle?”

Caitlin seized the opportunity. She needed to be able to defend herself now for her own peace of mind. It occurred to her that she and Harry could be branded as a couple in this small community in no time. And Jake would think it. Why not? She reasoned. Jake wasn’t going to care either way. “Yes, please.”

“The pub does a great steak sandwich. Would you like one? When she nodded, he added. “Onions with that?” There was amusement in his eyes. “I’m having them, and we’ll have your first lesson with a rifle this afternoon.”

She laughed. “I’ll have the lot.”

* * * *

When they got back onto Tall Trees land, Harry parked the Jeep. Walking down into the bush, he set up three Coke cans along a fence. He came back to Caitlin and loaded his rifle, took aim and picked the three off, one by one. After watching each dance away, she clapped her hands. “That’s fantastic.”

“You need to be a good shot in these parts,” he said reloading.

He set up the cans again and stood close beside her. His breath feathered the hair on the back of her neck as he steadied her hand. “The butt of the rifle has to sit against your shoulder,” he said. “Look along the sight.”

He stood back and she squeezed the trigger. The force of the gun exploding almost threw her backwards.

“That’s why you have to tuck it into your shoulder,” he explained.

Caitlin eagerly checked, but all the cans remained untouched.

“You’ll get the hang of it. You just need practice.”

She tried three more times without success. She was determined to hit a can before the day was out, but light was fading fast.

“We’d better go soon,” he said.

“Just one more. This could become addictive,” she said as she took aim.

This time, as the sound of the shot reverberated through the air, a can fell off the fence.

“Did that fall or was it pushed?” Harry asked mildly.

Laughing, Caitlin turned and punched him lightly on the arm. “I hit it. Ye of little faith. Come, we shall inspect the evidence.” She picked up the can and saw the hole through it. Delighted, she showed him.

He raised his eyebrows. “Not bad. You’re a quick study.”

She had to restrain herself from hugging him. “Thanks for that,” she said, giving his shoulder a pat. “You’re a pal.”

Harry cocked his head at her. “Don’t forget that dance.” He took the gun and emptied the shells out into his hand. “I’d better get back, there’s work to do before it gets too dark.”

He left her at the top of the driveway to the house. Caitlin watched the jeep disappear down the hill. It must be a lonely place for the young guys living here, she thought. She knew they took off for Kununurra often and Darwin from time to time. Surely they’d want more than this from life eventually, but Harry had told her the place gets in your blood.

She was beginning to believe it.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Chapter Six

“What are we having for breakfast, Angela?” William asked, climbing on a chair.

“Pig’s bum and cabbage and duck under the table,” Angela said cheerfully, spooning poached eggs and bacon onto plates.

The children squealed with delight.

Jake had been gone from the house for hours. Caitlin had risen early to catch him, but he’d left before daybreak. Today, she planned to give the children a treat and take them swimming.

She wondered who the swimming costumes had belonged to, as she inspected the two sad choices Angela had offered her. She couldn’t see Caroline, whose good taste she was now familiar with, wearing either of them. The plain, black number with thick straps was a size too big, the other, a sea-green satin, still had its tag attached. She pulled it on and looked in the mirror. It was too short in the body, the sides crept high up over her hips and the front dipped very low, barely skimming her nipples. This would have been scandalous, she suspected, if she’d worn it in the days when it was new. She only hoped the material wasn’t rotten and would hold together for the day. She would have to buy one by mail-order catalog as Angela suggested, or wait for a trip to Darwin.

The children fidgeted and pulled away as Caitlin attempted to spread sunscreen on their limbs and faces. “One would think you’d never been in the water before,” she said.

Elizabeth’s small body stilled under her hands. Surprised at her sudden surrender, Caitlin turned Elizabeth around to look at her. “What’s the matter, Elizabeth?”

Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak, as William began to jump around saying, “Hurry up, I’m hot.”

“Elizabeth?” she asked again, waiting.

Elizabeth glanced away. “William and I are really good swimmers, aren’t we William?”

“Daddy taught us,” William said solemnly, “after our mummy died.”

Elizabeth grabbed William’s hand, “Come on,” she said crossly to Caitlin.

They began to walk along the worn path through the paddock. Angela said the dam was a long walk from the house over the hill. Caitlin had no idea how long Angela’s description of ‘long’ was. Despite their hats, the sun bore cruelly down on them. Perhaps she should have waited for Jake to return. He could have taken them in the Jeep. But he might not return until dusk and she wanted to keep her promise to the children.

“Keep to the path, please,” she said. She carried a forked stick in her hand and kept a wary eye out for snakes. Goodness knows what she would have done with it, had she been confronted by one.

“It’s too hot,” William complained fretfully.

“We could go to the waterhole,” suggested Elizabeth. “It’s much closer.” She pointed towards a track that led into the bush. “That’s where Daddy would take us. It’s lovely and cool in there.”

“Let’s go to the waterhole.” William ran away across the grass.

“Wait, please,” Caitlin called after him. “I haven’t discussed this with your father.”

“It’s lovely there.” Elizabeth ran after him. “You can see right down to the bottom.”

The sun burned viciously into Caitlin’s shoulders. She knew it would be wise to get the children into the shade. “Very well,” she said. “We’ll have a look. If I don’t think it’s suitable, we’ll go to the dam.”

Elizabeth led them along a well-trodden track. It was cooler in the shade. Caitlin heard the sound of running water. A few minutes later, they emerged into a clearing where water trickled over the rocks sending ripples across a water hole. A rope dangled invitingly from an overhanging branch above the water. It was obviously a favorite spot for the family. In the shallows, the water was like glass. You could see right to the sandy bottom.

“How lovely,” Caitlin said, wondering why Jake hadn’t mentioned it. “I want you two to stay right on the edge, please.”

She settled on the sandy rim with the children. The fresh water felt like cool velvet. William cheekily splashed her and stumbled away laughing.

“Look Elizabeth, fairy lights,” Caitlin said.

Shining through a filigree of leaves, the sun’s rays sparkled as they touched the water. Elizabeth put her hand on Caitlin’s knee and smiled up at her. “Do you think fairies live here?”

“Gumnut babies, perhaps?” Caitlin said, mentioning one of Elizabeth’s favorite books.

“Oh yes. Look, there are some Banksia men,” Elizabeth said, pointing to a bottlebrush tree. When she looked back at Caitlin, her eyes were filled with such delight, Caitlin held her breath. “I think fairies live in my tree,” she whispered.

“What tree is that?” Caitlin asked.

“A big, old dead one up in the top paddock. If you sit very quietly, you can hear them.”

“William!” Caitlin called. “Don’t go too far in, please.”

“I’m a champion swimmer,” William responded with dignity.

“You can show me, but not today.”

Even in the dappled shade, they were getting too much sun. “Time to go back for lunch,” she said, picking up towels and jamming hats on heads. “Then lessons before your afternoon ride.”

After a few grumbles, the children followed her along the dirt track. As they emerged from the bush, a horse and rider cleared the fence in the top paddock and raced towards them. It was Jake, looking thunderous. He reached them and jumped down from his horse. “What the devil do you think you’re doing?” he said to Caitlin.

“I took the children for a swim at the water hole.”

Jake’s blue eyes were frigid. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going there, Caitlin?”

Caitlin rearranged her towel trying to cover the revealing costume. “It was too hot for us to walk all the way to the dam. I was worried the children would suffer sunstroke. The water-hole was nearby.”

“Elizabeth? Did you tell Caitlin to go to the water hole?” Jake asked.

Elizabeth’s face paled. She looked at the ground. “Yes, Daddy.”

“You know a crocodile was sighted near there.”

“We didn’t see one, Daddy.”

“You were lucky, Elizabeth,” Jake said, mounting his horse. “I am very disappointed in you.”

Still frowning, he looked down at Caitlin. “I thought we’d agreed you were to ask me, Caitlin, before you took the kids off on some hair-brained scheme. I’ve told you before, you don’t know this country.”

Caitlin took Elizabeth’s hand, feeling it tremble. She was now as angry as he, but more for Elizabeth’s sake.

“I take full responsibility for this. Please don’t blame Elizabeth,” she said, aware that her towel had slipped. Clutching it ineffectually to her chest with her free hand, she said, “You did tell me I could take them swimming.”

“In the dam!” Jake’s hot gaze traveled over her body matching the tone of his voice. “If you’d discussed it with me first—as we agreed,” he repeated. “I would have warned you not to go there.”

Feeling Elizabeth’s small hand quivering in hers, anger almost robbed Caitlin of speech. He was undermining her authority in front of the children. “That’s hard to do when you’re gone before daylight,” she said fighting to stay cool. “And you seldom share a meal with us.”

Jake paused. “I’m there every night,” he said in a milder tone. “I’m not off in some pub or other. You know where to find me.” He turned the horse and rode away.

She had probably sounded like a nagging wife, but she didn’t care a damn. She watched him ride away over the paddock. Let him dismiss her if he felt she couldn’t do her job. When she could speak to him away from the children, she would give him a piece of her mind.

Caitlin’s temper began to cool as she led the children towards the house, and she couldn’t help a small smile. If she’d sounded like a wife, he’d reacted like a husband. She regretted he’d been so worried, but she felt slightly perplexed too. Surely he’d overreacted, for here they were safe and well after all.

* * * *

The next morning at breakfast, Elizabeth was even more quiet than usual. She moved her food around her plate managing to eat hardly any of it. Caitlin decided to leave her alone. She would draw her out later, gently, during lessons. She had a few tricks up her sleeve to tempt her. One was a new book she’d found last night. Elizabeth loved to read. Caitlin was constantly searching the library shelves for books suitable for a child who seemed to have an understanding far beyond her years.

Elizabeth remained quiet during lessons and failed to respond to anything Caitlin tried. In the afternoon, when William rode his pony around the paddock, she declined a ride and sat with Caitlin while she watched him.

“You’re not coming down with something are you, Elizabeth?” Caitlin put her hand on her forehead.

“Coming down where?” she said, looking up at Caitlin wistfully.

Caitlin laughed. “Silly. You’re not feeling sick, are you?”

Elizabeth gave a wane smile and shook her head.

At four o’clock, Jake arrived. Caitlin left the children with him and went to do her washing.

Jake appeared at the laundry door. “Have you seen Elizabeth?”

“No. I thought she was with you.”

He shook his head. “She left the room nearly an hour ago. She’s not in the bathroom or her room.”

Together, they rushed out onto the verandah, but there was no sign of her. “Did she say anything to William?” Caitlin asked, with a growing sense of unease.

Jake shook his head. “I asked him.”

“She’s been very quiet today.”

He looked at her, his eyes stricken. Then he ran down the steps and strode off through the grounds calling Elizabeth’s name.

Caitlin raced through the house, checking under beds and in cupboards, but there was no sign of her. She found William sitting on the floor of his room, playing with his train set. “Do you know where Elizabeth might have gone, William?”

He looked up at her with those blue eyes so like Jake’s. “Elizabeth’s very sad that Daddy was cross with her.”

She kneeled down beside him. “Is there somewhere she goes when she’s sad?”

He moved his train along the track. “Perhaps to her fairy tree,” he said.

“Where’s her fairy tree, William?”

He shrugged, and then started making tooting noises.

Caitlin shook his arm. “Where is the tree, William?”

“She said it’s a secret.”

Elizabeth had told her about her fairy tree. She wished she’d been paying more attention. Where did she say it was? She ran to the kitchen and grabbed a torch. It was now quite dark outside and there was no sign of Jake.

Elizabeth’s words suddenly came back to her. The old tree in the top paddock! She ran as fast as she could through the long grass, holding the torch in front of her. She kept yelling Jake’s name and Elizabeth’s, but no one answered.

Caitlin climbed the fence, jagging her knee on the barbed wire. She flashed her torch around. A ghostly, gray Gum stood in the far corner of the paddock. She stumbled towards it, the torch’s beam wavering over the rough ground, as her hand shook and fear made her mouth go horribly dry.

The tree appeared to have been struck by lightning at some stage and burned. She aimed the torch into its hollow centre, her heart racing. There was Elizabeth, curled up. Caitlin let out her breath in a gasp and she opened her eyes.

“Sweetheart,” Caitlin said gently, “We’ve been so worried about you.”

“I hurt my leg,” Elizabeth said, her big eyes blinking in the light, her cheeks tearstained. “And I saw a snake.”

Caitlin suppressed a shudder. “Where was the snake?”

“In the grass near the tree.”

“First we’ll look at your leg.” Caitlin ran her torch beam over Elizabeth’s legs and saw that one ankle was swollen. “Nothing bit you, did it?”

“No.”

“How about I lift you out of there and carry you home. Can you stand up?”

Elizabeth climbed to her feet and gave a cry of pain.

“That’s a good, brave girl. We’ll go back to the house and have a drink, shall we?”

“Daddy will be even crosser.”

“No, darling, he’s not cross. Just worried, that’s all.”

She picked Elizabeth up. Her little body felt frail in her arms.

She was carrying her down towards the fence when she saw Jake’s torch flashing like a mad thing across the bottom paddock. She yelled at him.

He vaulted the fence and came running up.

“You’ve found her? Thank God!”

He took Elizabeth from Caitlin, holding her tenderly in his arms. “I didn’t want to go to the dam, Daddy,” she said, beginning to cry.

“It’s all right, darling,” Jake said, hugging her. “I’m an awful cross old bear, sometimes.”

When they got back to the house, Jake took Elizabeth to her room and Caitlin went for the first-aid box.

She watched as Jake expertly bandaged Elizabeth’s ankle.

“You can have your tea in bed, Elizabeth,” Caitlin said. “And look, I found a book for you to read today.” She placed Alan Marshall’s I Can Jump Puddles, beside her bed. “I’ll read you the first chapter, if you’re not too tired.”

Angela came in with a tray and Caitlin left the room. She was walking down the hall when Jake called after her. She knew she looked a sight; her new green shorts were torn and stained black from the burnt tree. Blood trickled down her leg from the scratch on her knee.

Jake bent down and examined her wound. His fingers on her skin were like hits of electricity. She felt herself wobble and put her hand on the wall, looking down at his dark head. She curled her fingers trying to resist touching him.

“Best put a bit of iodine and a band-aid on that,” he said, straightening up. He smiled. “I doubt it will scar.”

“I’m fine,” she said, feeling slightly breathless.

“I think we could both do with a drink. Join me in the living room?”

“I’ll just clean up a bit first,” she said and hurried to her bedroom.

Ten minutes later, with a wash, a fresh change of clothes and a band-aid on her knee, she entered the living room to find him cradling a Scotch and ice.

“I’d love one of those, please,” she said, sitting in a wing chair beside the fireplace. “Does it ever get cold enough to light a fire?”

Jake nodded. “The nights can get quite cold here in the winter.”

It lovely big room had been thoughtfully decorated. The furniture, a nice mix of antique and homely, picked up the theme of blues and yellows found in the patterned carpet.

Jake poured a drink and placed it on a coaster on a table beside her. When she picked up the glass, she noticed the coaster had beautiful Australian wildflowers on it. Another of Caroline’s touches she was sure. As she sipped her drink, the alcohol warmed her stomach, easing the cold knot of anxiety that hadn’t quite gone away. She looked up to see Jake studying her.

“I have much to thank you for,” he said. “I didn’t know about that tree. No doubt Caroline did, but Elizabeth doesn’t talk to me the way she did her mother.”

It was the first time she’d heard him mention his wife’s name.

“Sometimes,” he went on. “I make mistakes. Men don’t always….”

She felt a surge of compassion for this man, who seemed to have lost so much with the death of his wife. “We all make mistakes, Jake. We’re human.”

“This could have been a bad one.”

“Jake … I’ve wanted to discuss Elizabeth with you for some time. There’s something wrong, something that worries her.”

“Her mother’s death, you mean? It’s a while ago now—she was very young.”

“She’s very bright and sensitive, but I think there’s more to it. I feel as if I’m struggling in the dark.”

Jake sighed and dropped his eyes to his glass. “Yes, I should have filled you in, but I still find it hard to talk about it.” He finished off the last of his drink and rose. “Another?”

Caitlin shook her head. Walking to the silver tray where the drinks were kept, he poured himself another half-glass, and, rubbing the scar on his cheek with his forefinger, sat down again. “Caroline, the children and I were returning from a trip to Darwin when the engine of my Cessna plane began to cut out. I managed to bring it down, but it careered into a dam. I was knocked unconscious. Caroline got the children out of the semi-submerged cockpit. I’ll never know how she found the strength. The crash had been seen by a neighbor and help arrived an hour later, but Caroline was too badly hurt.”

“I’m so sorry,” Caitlin said quietly.

“We’d flown to Darwin to take Elizabeth to the dentist. She’d knocked a tooth running in the hall and cut her gum.” Jake looked pensive. “That vision of her running…” He shook his head. “She was such a little dynamo then.”

“Do you think she blames herself for the accident in some way?”

Jake looked astonished. “No. How could she?”

“Children get funny ideas sometimes.”

“I’d better have a talk to her about it,” he said.

Caitlin wanted to say, be gentle, but somehow she knew he would.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Chapter Seven

Caitlin was looking forward to her first country dance. Elizabeth seemed much better and Jake had taken both children to Darwin for the weekend to visit his mother and, she guessed, Vanessa.

She decided to wear the bright, cotton wrap around dress she’d bought in town, with a pair of dressy sandals. Her shoulders and limbs were tanned from the sun, although not the dark honey of Jake’s.

It was odd rattling around the big house by herself. Angela had taken the opportunity to visit relatives for a couple of days. Caitlin took ages fiddling with her hair. In the end, she just drew it back into a ponytail. She was glad when she heard Harry drive up.

“You look terrific, Caitlin,” he said giving a wink of approval.

“So do you.” He looked different without the hat, his hair slicked down, but she noticed with a smile that he still wore his boots.

People spilled out of the Community Hall, drinking and laughing. Inside, the band was in full swing.

As Harry took her around, people greeted her with friendly curiosity and it struck her again how different the people were to the crowd she’d been mixing with in Dublin. Here, they seemed to take you at face value.

Harry was an enthusiastic dancer, whirling her breathlessly round the floor. When the Burrawong Bush Band played a tune for a boot scooting dance, she had a lot of fun trying to follow the steps. She often failed and drew a laugh from the more practiced.

It was close to midnight when they made the trek back up the dark hill road. Caught by the glare of the Jeep’s headlights, possums’ bright eyes glowed in the trees. A trail of bats, shrieking and soaring like something out of a vampire movie, flew low across the sky.

When they pulled into the driveway, the porch and hall lights lit up the house, just as she left them. Harry followed her up onto the verandah.

Caitlin turned to him at the door. “Thanks for a great night,” she said.

“How about asking me in for a drink?”

“I don’t feel comfortable with that, Harry.” She put her hand on his shoulder and went to give him a peck on each cheek.

Harry seized the opportunity and put his arms around her, drawing her in for a kiss. Just then the door opened and Jake’s head appeared.

“Sorry,” he said, shutting it again.

She placed her hand on Harry’s chest to give them a bit of space. She would have to talk to him, but now wasn’t the time. “Goodnight, Harry.”

In the dark his expression was hard to read. He turned to run down the steps. “See you tomorrow for a riding lesson?”

“Thanks for the offer. I’ll let you know. I didn’t expect Jake to be back.”

Harry stood by the open door of the Jeep. “I guess I can see how the land lies, Caitlin,” he said.

Before she could respond, he jumped in and took off.

What on earth did that mean? But her annoyance was directed at herself as she opened the door and walked down the hall to her room. Jake emerged from the darkened kitchen, carrying a glass of water, almost bumping into her.

“Sorry,” he said, nodding towards the front door. “Hope I didn’t ruin the evening.”

“Harry was just leaving,” she said firmly. “I didn’t expect you to be here.”

“Elizabeth wanted to come home.”

“Is she all right?”

“She’s fine.”

“It’s nice to have other bodies in the house. I’m not sure I like being alone here.”

Jake laughed softly. “You’re far safer here than in the city.”

“I guess. It’s just something I’m not used to.”

“I don’t stay too long in cities, all that stress and noise and polluted air. But I’d like to see Dublin sometime.”

“You should. I’ll give you some travel tips before you go.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“Jake?” Vanessa’s voice came out of the dark from his bedroom at the far end of the hall. “Have you got my water?”

Jake stepped back away from her. “Night,” he said.

“Night, Jake.”

Caitlin went to her room and sat on her rocker. It was very late when she finally went to bed.

* * * *

Caitlin was pleased to see Elizabeth tucking into her breakfast. She filled her plate with the cereal she’d bought at the general store the day she’d gone into town with Harry.

Angela shook her head and said, “Chook food.” She made a clucking noise that brought a giggle from Elizabeth.

After she helped Angela with the breakfast dishes, she decided to make herself scarce. She grabbed a book and settled on the verandah until Jake left to fly Vanessa back to Darwin.

She looked up from her book to see Vanessa appear around the corner, wearing white jeans and a tiny blue top. She was barefoot, her toenails painted silvery pink. Her pale eyes met Caitlin’s and she raised her brows. “Did you enjoy the bush dance, Caitlin?”

“It was great fun. The people are very friendly here.”

She sat on the step. “You and that jackeroo, Harry, are you…?” She paused as if leaving Caitlin to fill in the blanks. When she didn’t, Vanessa was forced to continue. “Are you dating?”

“Harry’s a friend,” Caitlin answered. “Why do you ask?”

“It’s just that I wouldn’t want you to think you could settle here for very long. You know, when Jake and I are married, we won’t require your services.”

Caitlin stood up and went to the door of her room, feeling hot and frustrated and fighting to keep her temper. “Jake is my employer, Vanessa. I’ll wait for him to tell me that, if you don’t mind.”

Vanessa shrugged. “I’m only trying to spare your feelings.”

“Ready, Vanessa?” Jake stood at the corner of the verandah. Caitlin wondered if he’d heard their conversation. She went into her room. Closing the door she sat on her rocker. Perhaps Vanessa was right, she shouldn’t plan on staying here for long. If they married it would certainly jettison her back out into the world again.

The prospect made her feel exposed and defenseless, and drew her back to Max and that awful day at Mowat. Waiting for the ambulance to treat the concussed man, she’d realized she’d been drifting, allowing events to pull her along to somewhere she didn’t really want to go.

After Max had dealt with the Garda, and the cut on her head was treated, they had barely talked as they drove back to Dublin. Things that needed to be said, kept forming in Caitlin’s mind, but when she looked at his stern profile, his taut hands on the wheel, she found she couldn’t utter them.

It was dark when they arrived back in the city. Max pulled up outside a restaurant they dined at quite often.

“I’m not really hungry,” Caitlin said. “I have a headache.”

“You’ll feel better after you’ve eaten.”

They sat and ordered, but when she gazed at her plate piled high with food, her stomach turned over. Diplomacy deserted her. “I can’t marry you, Max.”

Max went on cutting into his steak. “It doesn’t matter. We can just go on as before. As long as you stay true to me.”

She stared at him. “You can’t mean that.”

He shrugged. “Why not? Marriage isn’t fashionable anymore anyway.”

“I want to marry and have children one day.”

A white line formed along Max’s compressed top lip. “But not with me.”

“I’m sorry, Max. You make everything too hard.”

“Hard? What do you know about it? Such a little innocent you are, Caitlin.” He gave his cynical laugh and placed his knife and fork together on the plate.

She was to be the one at fault. It had to be her. She swallowed. “You’re … too unpredictable. I want a quieter life than you can offer me.”

Max looked at her. “I’m not sure I could handle seeing you with another man.”

It was because he seemed so calm and in perfect control, that she began to fall apart. “Just let me go. Please, Max. It will be better for both of us.” Tears ran down her cheeks. She pushed back her chair so roughly, she knocked it over. The hum of conversation stilled and curious eyes turned their way, as a waiter rushed to pick it up.

“No, no, no.” Max shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

She hurried from the restaurant. In the street when the darkness closed around her she began to sob. She guiltily wondered if the tears were for Max or just for her, suddenly aware she didn’t trust him, had never really trusted him. Love can’t survive without trust. She’d been attracted to his difference, but as she came to understand just how different he was, he had begun to frighten her.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Chapter Eight

Caitlin hadn’t seen Harry since the dance, and she found she missed his company. She hoped she hadn’t hurt him.

She decided it wasn’t wise to let it go too long and walked down to the compound on Sunday afternoon to say hello to the guys. She found them finishing up their lunch in the canteen.

“Just in time for a light ale,” Harry said, rising from his seat.

“No thanks, Harry,” she said, sitting down at the table with the three men.

“How about a cuppa, then?” Riley offered, making a terrible attempt at a British accent.

They all laughed. “A cuppa would be great,” she said, then turned to look at Harry. “How’ve you all been, working hard?”

Harry gazed at her. “You know what they say—all work and no play. You’re a feast for the eyes, Caitlin. I’m sick of looking at these ugly blokes.”

“Now wait a minute!” Mick protested. “We don’t enjoy your ugly mug, neither.”

Mick and Riley left with a wave and headed back outside, shoving on their hats.

Caitlin put down her cup. “I haven’t seen you for a while. Is it something I did?”

“More like what you didn’t do,” Harry said. He shook his head.

She found her heart beating too fast, but it was just because he looked so hurt. She didn’t know what to say to him and was beginning to feel as if she shouldn’t have come.

He sighed. “I guess you wouldn’t care to come to the pub next Saturday night? They’re having a talent contest. Angela’s coming.”

It was an unconditional peace offering and she quickly seized it. “Angela? Love to. I haven’t heard her yodel.”

Harry smiled. “Angela’s always agreeable to a song or two. It’s Country and Western music. Can you sing?”

She shook her head. “What about you?”

He grinned. “I might rake up something.”

They walked outside. Harry’s manner had brightened, but his eyes beneath the Akubra looked serious. She felt guilty, and longed for his friendly, open personality to return.

“I better get back to the guys, Caitlin,” he said. “See you Saturday.”

* * * *

On Saturday night, Harry turned up in a red-checked shirt and white jeans. After trying on several outfits, Caitlin had fallen back on jeans and an off-the-shoulder, embroidered peasant blouse.

Angela came along in the Jeep with them. On the way into town, she and Harry chattered like old friends. Caitlin laughed with them, enjoying their easy-going, good humor. A row of colored lights were strung up over the verandah and the pub pulsed with music. Inside, couples crowded the small dance floor.

As they pushed their way through, people Caitlin had met at the dance greeted her like an old friend. “Good to see you again, Cat,” called Lenny, hailing her from behind the bar. He nodded towards Harry who’d moved on into the crowd. “You couldn’t do better than the Big Easy.”

“The who, Lenny?”

“Harry. It’s his nickname around these parts. The ‘Big Easy,’ you know, like that South African golfer chap.”

“Oh, I see.” Caitlin looked over at Harry’s broad back. It suited him.

On a small stage, a man was playing the piano, accompanied by a guitarist and a drummer. They performed an energetic rendition of a song Caitlin had never heard before.

The crowd joined in enthusiastically with the chorus, I’ll marry you tomorrow, but let’s honeymoon tonight. Harry handed her a beer. She tried to thank him and shrugged helplessly. It was impossible to talk above the din.

When the song ended, two men swung Angela up onto the stage to noisy applause. In her culottes, boots and cowboy hat pushed back onto her shoulders, she certainly looked the part. She performed The Wayward Wind.

The drinks flowed. The longer the night went on, the more enthusiastically each act was greeted. Harry disappeared for a while and then re-emerged with a guitar and everyone cheered harder. He mounted the stage with a leap and spoke to the musicians.

The crowd quickly quieted as he began to play. Caitlin opened her mouth in surprise as he sang the Johnny Cash song, I Walk the Line. He was great.

When he finished, the whole room erupted. There were shouts for an encore and he sang two more songs before they let him leave the stage.

Just as he sat down, a pretty, teenage girl with her hair in bunches came up to them. She held her hands out to him as she swayed to the music. “Dance, Harry?”

“Where’s Jimmy, Deb?” he asked her, leaning back in his chair.

“Oh, he’s outside,” she gestured towards the door, “talking to his mates.”

“He’ll dance with you. Go and ask him.”

She pouted. “He won’t.” Grabbing Harry’s hand, she tried to pull him to his feet. “Come on, just one. Caitlin doesn’t mind, do you?”

“Of course not,” Caitlin answered, smiling.

Harry stood and took Deb’s hand, leading her out the door of the pub onto the verandah.

Curious, Caitlin watched.

There was a group of teenage boys drinking and laughing on the verandah steps.

“Hey, Jimmy,” Harry said. “Come and dance with your girl.”

A tall, pimply boy leaned against a post. “Maybe later.”

“Deb’s a very cute girl, Jimmy. Don’t expect her to wait around for you,” Harry said lightly.

Deb grinned.

Jimmy scowled and said, “C’mon, then,” and pulled her inside.

Harry winked at Caitlin as he sat down again.

“You little old matchmaker you,” she said, laughing.

“Pure self-preservation,” Harry said. “How about a dance?”

They left the pub after midnight for the long trek back to Tall Trees. Angela was staying in town for the night. Seemingly indefatigable, she was climbing onto the stage for another song as they left.

“You could take up singing as a career. You’re really good,” Caitlin said as they drove along the dark road.

“I’m okay, but not good enough for that.” As if to end the conversation, Harry leaned forward and turned some music on. A Spanish guitar played a tender melody. “You enjoyed tonight?”

“I did. The people here are like a big family. They don’t ask questions. I feel less lonely here, strangely.”

Harry turned to look at her. “It’s the remoteness that draws people together every chance they get. City people who come here say they feel lonelier in crowds.”

“I guess it depends on who you have in your corner,” she said, watching the moon sailing across the cloudless sky.

“Surely you’ve had some good people in yours?”

“A few.”

“It’s nature that governs us here. It can be lethally unpredictable. You can’t let down your guard. I guess that toughens you up.”

“I’m certainly toughening up on the outside,” she said, thinking of her aching thighs and bottom after riding.

Harry grinned. “Shame.”

They reached the top of the hill. Harry pulled over to the side of the road and leapt out. “Come and see the view.”

She came to stand beside him. Burrawong was a tiny cluster of lights in the vast, black landscape. The canopy of brilliant stars overhead seemed so close she felt she could almost reach up and touch them.

He lit a cigarette.

Caitlin waved her hand to dispel the smoke.

He raised an eyebrow and turned to her, the moon showing his expression in sharp lines. “Caitlin,” he said softly. “I’d give it up for you. You bowled me over the day I first saw you back on that road.” He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Hot and scared.”

“I looked scared?”

“When you talk about being lonely, I don’t understand how someone like you could feel that way. I’ve been hoping you’d tell me what it is you’re running away from.”

She looked down at her hands. “I don’t seem to be able to right now, Harry.”

“Do you think you’ll get Jake out of your system soon? I’d like to get to know you. I’d like you to get to know me.”

“Jake’s taken, remember?”

“Doesn’t stop you loving someone, does it?”

“You just don’t allow yourself to.”

“That easy, huh?” He pinched the cigarette between thumb and index finger then tossed it away. Turning back to her, he said, “You’re free then?”

“Yes, I’m free, but Harry … I value your friendship. Can’t it just continue like that?”

Harry turned and headed back to the Jeep. She followed, regretting the moment had to end like this. He waited until she’d buckled up before he started the engine. “I guess I’ll have to settle for that, then.” He gave her a searching look. “Anytime you need a friend, for whatever reason, I’m not far away.”

[Back to Table of Contents]

Chapter Nine

“Can I go riding tomorrow, Caitlin?” Elizabeth pressed her small body into Caitlin’s side.

“I don’t see why not, darling. Your ankle is so much better now. You and William can ride your ponies after lessons.” It had been three weeks since Elizabeth hurt her ankle and the children had been cooped up, restless and quarrelsome. She was running out of ideas to keep them entertained. But she was delighted to see Elizabeth’s appetite had improved and the sharp angles of her pixie face had softened.

As Caitlin helped Angela dish up the dinner, she noticed the table was set for five. Jake would be eating with them. The thought gave her a swift rush of pleasure, which she immediately tried to suppress.

“Daddy,” William said, jumping up as Jake walked into the room. “Toby’s sad. He’s missing me.”

“That pony of yours will be getting fat, Will. We can’t have that. You’ll have to give him a good run tomorrow. We’ve got the gymkhana coming up soon.”

“Had a good day, Caitlin?” Jake took off his hat and smoothed his dark hair, giving her a wry smile that told her he knew how difficult it had been. His smile never failed to make her catch her breath, and then she would go through all the reasons why she shouldn’t fool herself into thinking that they were becoming a family, or could ever be one. He’d taken several trips to Darwin lately and, although Vanessa hadn’t returned with him, Caitlin guessed a wedding was on the horizon.

Tall Trees was shorthanded and Jake worked long hours, down with the men during the day from dawn to dusk. He worked in his office until all hours of the night. But since the night Elizabeth went missing he’d made a practice of spending an hour or two with the children and dining with them.

“Aah. Roast chicken and mashed potato,” he said approvingly. “Wonderful choice, Angela.”

Caitlin smiled to herself. Angela was a capable but plain cook. Meals tended to be served on a rote basis. Roast chicken appeared every Thursday without fail.

“Now, don’t you go on,” Angela said, standing with her hands on her hips. “If you want French Cuisine, hire a French chef.”

Jake put an arm around her shoulders. “And trade in your excellent roast for a rich and fattening Boeuf Bourguignon? Never!”

“Go on with you,” Angela said, smiling as she deposited blobs of mashed potato on each plate.

“Drink after dinner, Caitlin?” Jake asked her.

Having a drink together after dinner in the sitting room was fast becoming a habit. The children watched television or played a board game, which gave her and Jake a chance to discuss their progress, but lately they’d begun to talk about other things. Caitlin was learning more about his past but so far had avoided telling him much about hers. She filled in the blanks as he told her how he’d been born in Utah, and spent his teenage years in Perth. He and Caroline met at high school.

Tall Trees had been in Caroline’s family since the first settlers arrived in Australia. When she and Jake were first married, Jake was managing a smaller property down south, then Caroline’s Dad retired and handed over the reins of Tall Trees to him. It was rundown and the reputation of the station and the quality of the export beef had suffered. The demands from Japan for prime beef were growing every day. Caitlin guessed Tall Trees would be a daunting task that some men might find almost overwhelming, but Jake seemed to embrace it as a great opportunity to build a future for his family. And, just as he was reaping the rewards of all his hard work, Caroline had been killed.

His sad loss struck a cord in Caitlin. She felt he was strong, though, both in body and mind. He would overcome most things that life threw at him. What she questioned was something that was really none of her business—could he ever fully commit to another woman?

[Back to Table of Contents]

Chapter Ten

The gymkhana was held at a neighboring cattle station, one hundred kilometers away. Riley was to drive the children’s ponies in their float, and the family follow in Jake’s SUV.

“Dress up a bit, Caitlin,” Angela advised Caitlin. She wrinkled her nose. “These events are pretty fancy.”

“What do you mean by fancy, exactly?”

“All the toffs turn up at Springbroke station,” she said. “It’s the biggest event on the social calendar. People, who wouldn’t come up here for love nor money, make it for this event. Prince Charles has even been to Springbroke for the polo.”

Caitlin began to feel nervous. “What on earth can I wear?”

“Let’s have a look.”

In her room, Caitlin spread her clothes over the bedcover for Angela’s inspection. “I didn’t bring much with me.”

Angela began moving bits of clothing around. “Nothing Designer, anyway.”

It was such an incongruous remark for Angela to make, Caitlin almost giggled, but she saw Angela was serious and said quickly. “I didn’t think I’d need anything like that. I’ve never moved in those circles.”

“You’re lucky,” Angela said. “They all used to come here for weekends when Caroline was alive. Debauched lot if you ask me. Don’t know what Caroline and Jake saw in them. Wait, I have a dress that might fit you.”

She left the room. Caitlin began to feel nervous about what Angela would come up with. She hated being offered clothes and never felt quite herself in borrowed things.

Angela came back with an apple-green-and-white swirl-patterned chiffon dress. It had shoe-string straps and a wide, white belt. From a hat box, she produced a Garbo style, wide-brimmed hat. “This should fit you,” she said. “I’ve never worn it.”

“It’s fabulous,” Caitlin said, trying to hide her surprise. “But, I couldn’t.”

Angela’s brown eyes gleamed. “Of course you could. Go on Caitlin, try it on. I’ll be out in the kitchen.”

Minutes later Caitlin waltzed into the kitchen and twirled self-consciously around for the children. The dress could have been made for her. And, as luck would have it, her one pair of high-heeled white sandals went with it perfectly.

“Caitlin looks nice doesn’t she, kids?” Angela said, as if Caitlin was her very own creation. “That green goes with your eyes.”

“You look beautiful, Caitlin,” Elizabeth said in a breathy voice.

“Bootiful,” William echoed politely, without looking up from his toy train.

“Angela, this is such a great dress, I’d be nervous wearing it.”

“Nonsense, I’ll never wear it now.”

“Surely you bought it for a special occasion?”

She turned back to the sink. “It was a gift. I was going to wear it for my wedding in Fremantle, but that didn’t work out.”

Caitlin looked at her hunched back in the man’s shirt she seemed to favor these days. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. Not sure I’d want to live in a city, anyway.” She began furiously peeling potatoes.

* * * *

It was still dark when they left for the gymkhana. Caitlin settled the children in the back of the SUV, tucked up with blankets and a pillow. It was quite cool in the early morning, and they had their electronic toys that would keep them absorbed for hours if she let them.

At the first beep, Jake said, “Put those away please, and get some more sleep. We have a busy day ahead.”

They settled down and it became quiet, apart from the noise of the tires and the hum of the engine. The four-wheel drive’s headlights penetrated into the darkness lighting up the rough road ahead.

“You packed their jodhpurs?” he asked.

“Yes.” She watched a kangaroo keep pace with them briefly before bounding away into the bush. A feeling of peace settled over her, something she hadn’t enjoyed for a long time. She stretched her jean-clad legs out, and thought about the lovely dress in its box in the boot that Angela had so generously provided. She was beginning to understand Angela. She was like a crunchy chocolate with a soft centre.

Angela peeped at Jake’s profile in the soft glow of the dashboard lights. He was another who seldom revealed his feelings, and she was learning more about him too, every day. The word that came to mind about Jake was ‘order.’ She suspected he kept to it rigidly because it made him feel he had control over his life and his emotions. It occurred to her that he may not have been like that when Caroline was alive. He was so close, if she reached out her hand and touched him, what would he do? She smiled at her ridiculous thoughts and closed her eyes.

“Talk to me, Caitlin,” he said, yawning.

“What would you like me to talk about?”

“Ireland. The differences you find here, other than the obvious ones.”

She sat up. “There’s something about this place, its isolation. It forces you to face … events in your life that are painful, to work through them.”

“And have you? Worked through them, I mean?”

“Not quite yet, but I will in time.”

“I’ve often wondered why you’d want to come here,” he said.

That he’d thought about her surprised and warmed her. “There’s not much to tell, really.”

“And, it’s none of my business, is it?” he asked, sensing her reluctance.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound rude.”

“Australia’s a hard country to adopt,” he said.

“Was it for you?” she asked, hoping to lead the conversation back to him.

“I was just a kid and kids tend to be more pliable. But it’s hard to rid yourself of that strong sense of place, where you feel you belong, don’t you think?”

“Sometimes it’s necessary to move on…” her voice drifted off. She couldn’t tell him about Max. Not now while he was in this cozy mood, to see him turn away from her repelled or worse, with pity? Jake was so different from Harry—more complex. She sighed. Why was she attracted to the wrong men?

He glanced at her then turned back to the road. “You’re supposed to be keeping me awake.”

Caitlin began to talk about her mother and growing up in Dublin. In the dim light, Jake’s face, so familiar to her now, made her heart pound. She tucked her hands between her thighs to control her restlessness. Her voice sounded calm to her ears, but inside, she was raging with desire to trace that scar on his cheek with her finger, the way he did when he was deep in thought. And to press her body against his and make him look at her as if she was so precious to him, he couldn’t live without her. Her face grew hot and she was glad the dark hid her thoughts from him. She was running out of amusing anecdotes, when the children began to stir and she breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’m hungry,” William said.

Caitlin flipped off her seatbelt and leaned over the seat, grabbing the bag containing egg sandwiches, orange juice and a thermos of hot coffee made Angela-style, with tinned milk and sugar. Amazing how she was coming to like it that way.

“I’d like to hear more later,” Jake said. “You don’t get off so easily.”

That thought caused her stomach to twist painfully. She began to pour mugs of orange juice for the children. She tried to will her fingers to stop trembling. They always did when she thought of Max. She managed without spilling a drop and sat back relieved that Jake hadn’t noticed, as he drove on into the sunrise.

* * * *

The sun was high in the sky when they reached Springbroke station. The paddock relegated for parking was almost full of other four-wheel drives and horse floats. Caitlin wondered how far these people had come. Traveling great distances meant little to Outback dwellers. Jake went to check on the ponies and she headed up to the house with the children. They passed white marquees staked out like giant sails rippling in the hot wind on a sea of green lawn. Waiters dressed in black uniforms moved through the crowd topping up glasses of champagne and orange juice and offering plates of sandwiches and hot, bite-size foods.

The house sat on a rise above them. It was a long, two-story sandstock-brick building with a row of attic rooms in the roof, more modern than Tall Trees and almost twice its size. Jake had told her the owner made his money in mining. Even in this harsh, wild place, it was money that mattered, or the lack of it, from the Aboriginal workers in the stockyards up to the top of the tree—the incredibly rich magnates. On the columned porch they were greeted by a middle-aged woman wearing a hat laden with fruit and artificial flowers. Caitlin explained who she was and she directed them up the stairs to a playroom converted into a huge dormitory for the children. There were about twenty children of all ages there, clustered around a huge television screen, watching one of the latest animated films on DVD.

They were to stay overnight. Caitlin helped Elizabeth and William into their jodhpurs and boots and left them with the others to go and find her sleeping quarters. She headed up another flight of stairs to the attic bedrooms. When she entered her allocated room she found a girl sitting on one of the twin beds, unpacking her night things. She looked up and smiled as Caitlin came in.

“Sally,” she said, nodding.

“Caitlin. Nice to meet you, Sally.”

“Exciting isn’t it?” Sally said. “Did you see that helicopter land? Someone said it was a movie star. That will cause a stir, won’t it?”

“A media bombardment, I imagine.”

Sally left the room. Caitlin opened the box and shook out her dress. She had a quick shower in the tiny en-suite bathroom and dressed, arranging the hat smartly over one eye.

She went to claim the children. “We’d better go and find your father,” she said. “The gymkhana will be starting soon. We can watch Daddy play polo this afternoon.”

“Toby doesn’t like traveling,” William said.

“He’ll be happy when he sees you,” Caitlin said, taking his hand.

They left the cool of the house and went searching for Jake, finding him standing among a group of people.

“There he is,” Elizabeth cried and threw herself at his legs. He was laughing at something someone said and put his hand affectionately on her head. He turned toward them, and then he seemed to falter. The woman laughing with him looked surprised.

As Caitlin grew closer she saw the stony expression in his eyes.

He grabbed Elizabeth’s hand and strode towards Caitlin. “That dress!” he said. “Go and take it off.”

She gaped at him. “What do you mean, take it off?”

“Why are you wearing that dress?” he said through clenched teeth.

“I don’t understand,” she said, shaking her head.

She caught her breath as Jake’s eyes filled with pain. “It’s … it was Caroline’s. The dress and the hat!”

Despite the heat a chill settled over Caitlin. “They can’t be! Angela lent these to me. They were to be her wedding clothes, but she didn’t get married.”

“Angela?” He frowned. There was a painful pause. “Caroline must have given them to her,” he said slowly. “I didn’t know.” He turned to check on the children. It seemed as if he couldn’t bear to look at her. “I’ll get you a drink before I take the kids down to the mounting yard.”

“Please don’t worry,” she said ruefully. “I’ll get my own.” Her big entrance had produced a very different reaction to the one she’d hoped for.

“Right,” Jake said, too heartily. “Come on then, kids.”

Feeling painfully excluded, she leaned against the fence watching the children put their ponies through their paces.

“Hi. It’s Caitlin isn’t it?”

She swung around. A man stood behind her, holding two glasses of champagne. Her breath deserted her. It was Conor O’Neil, one of Max’s friends from Dublin.

He held up a glass. “Surely no one says no to bubbly.”

She numbly took the glass from him. “Thanks, Conor. What are you doing here, of all places?” She tried to make her tone light, but her heart was hammering so loud she was sure he could hear it.

“I was just about to ask you the same question,” he said. “I come every year for the polo, then on to the Melbourne Cup. We have a horse in the Cup this year.”

“That’s great,” Caitlin murmured, looking around nervously. Surely Max couldn’t be here?

“But what about you?” he asked. “A flower of Irish womanhood here in the sun-burnt heart of Australia.”

She forced a smile. “Just traveling around, discovering a new country.”

“Great place. Wouldn’t want to spend too much time out here, though. Too bloody hot.”

“At least it doesn’t rain all the time,” Caitlin said, her passionate defense of her new home taking her by surprise.

“Have you heard from Max?” he asked her curiously.

She fought to keep her tone light. “We don’t keep in contact.”

He frowned. “None of us have seen him, not since he disappeared about the same time you did, as a matter of fact. It’s a mystery I was hoping you could solve. We all thought the pair of you had eloped but as time went by….”

She shrugged. “I can’t help you, I’m afraid.”

“We were all so pleased when he formed an attachment with you, you know, after…” He let his words drift.

“After what?”

“He was in love with someone before he met you, but they broke up.”

“I didn’t know.”

Conor shrugged. “Max had a pretty vile childhood. His parents were never what you call hands on. He found sustaining relationships … difficult.”

“Who broke it off?” she asked, suddenly curious.

“I’m not sure, but not long after that, she died.”

Caitlin gasped. “How?”

“She fell from the balcony of her sixth-floor apartment. There was some talk of suicide.”

“He never told me any of it,” Caitlin said, her mind whirling. “What was her name?”

“Mary Delaney.”

Someone in the crowd called Conor’s name and he waved at them. “I’ll try contacting his family again,” he said. “Pity we don’t have more time to catch up, Caitlin. Are you coming to Melbourne?”

Over in the paddock, Jake helped Elizabeth and William down from their ponies and beckoned to her with an impatient gesture.

Tipping the Champagne out on the grass she shook her head. “Good luck with the race. I have to go. It was nice to see you again.”

She hurried over to the paddock gate as Jake and the kids came towards her.

“Did you see me, Caitlin?” Elizabeth asked, running up to her.

“I most certainly did. I thought you were a-m-a-zing. Both of you.”

As Jake walked up to her she saw he was still as upset as she was.

“I see you’ve made a friend here already, Caitlin,” he said, crisply. “Would you take the children up to the house? They are to have lunch with the rest of the kids.”

“As you wish, sir,” Caitlin replied, barely restraining herself from giving him a servile bob before she led the children away. At the steps she glanced back. Jake had been joined by some friends, but he watched them over his shoulder.

While the children had their lunch, Caitlin went to her room and dragged the dress over her head. Throwing the hat on the bed, she pulled on her jeans and a spare black singlet top she’d thrown in at the last minute. She put a white shirt on over the top and tied it at the waist.

After lunch, she and the children sat on the grass to watch the polo match, but her thoughts returned to Mary’s fate, sending a shiver up her spine. William and Elizabeth jumped and yelled, cheering their father on as he drove the ball with his mallet. Jake did look good on a horse, Caitlin had to admit. But she couldn’t relax. She was worried that Conor might approach her again with more questions. In her jeans she felt self-conscious, under-dressed, angry and hurt.

After the final chukker, and the praise from the onlookers for his winning team, Jake dismounted. He took off his helmet as the children ran up to him.

Caitlin stood back, but he beckoned her over.

“Did you enjoy the polo?”

“Yes. Very well done. Congratulations,” she said stiffly.

“You’ve changed your outfit.”

“Obviously.”

His steady gaze held hers. “I am sorry.”

Before she could reply, his mates called to him. She led the children away.

She had dinner with the rest of the staff as the party raged downstairs. As she rose from the table, a young member of the staff came up to her. “Like to come down to the party for a drink?” he asked. “There’s dancing.”

She smiled. “Thanks, but I don’t think I will.”

“This isn’t Upstairs, Downstairs, you know,” he said, cocking his head. “We’re allowed to mix with the toffs.”

She laughed. “I’m a bit tired.” He shook his head and she had to agree with him. She was a party pooper. But she wasn’t dressed for it and Conor was down there somewhere. She wanted him to forget she existed. Shrugging, she went to check on the children. They were both asleep, amongst a room of exhausted children. It had been a very long day for them.

About eleven o’clock, feeling bored, she prepared for bed. Her roommate, Sally, had disappeared with a waiter she’d met, and by their behavior before they left, Caitlin was sure she’d have to the room to herself for the night.

She had just changed into her nightgown and was sitting on the bed brushing her hair when a knock came at the door.

“Who is it?”

“Jake.”

Pulling on her dressing gown, she opened the door. Jake stood clutching the door jamb, swaying slightly. She’d never seen him drink more than two drinks in all the time she’d been at Tall Trees. Her anger dissipated, and she felt a pang of guilt, was it because Caroline’s dress had dredged up sad memories?

“I missed saying goodnight to the children,” he said with an attempt at dignity that made him look even more like William.

“They’ve been asleep for hours. Luckily,” she added, still smarting a little from his unfair treatment.

He walked into the room and sat heavily on her bed. “Hell, Caitlin. I’m sorry I was so rude to you, but you were a terrific shock.”

“I know, Jake. I’m sorry too. If I’d known, of course I wouldn’t have worn the dress.”

“Angela should never have given it to you. What was she thinking?”

“She was trying to help me. I have very few clothes here. I guess it didn’t occur to her that you’d remember the dress.”

“She’s a good sort, Angela. I guess I wouldn’t have remembered it if I hadn’t bought it.”

She sat opposite him on the other bed. “You bought the outfit?”

“For our sixth anniversary.”

She swallowed. “I don’t know what to say, Jake.”

He leaned over and patted her on the shoulder. “Not your fault, Caitlin. No one’s fault really. But if you knew what it did to me, seeing you. You looked so lovely….”

He lay back, stretching his legs out over the coverlet.

She took a deep breath, wondering if it was just that she reminded him of Caroline. “Thanks for the compliment. I forgive you, and you forgive me. Now I think you should go.”

“Not yet.” Jake patted the bed beside him. “I want to be sure we’ve straightened this out. Come and talk to me.”

She moved to sit beside him. “You’ve made such a difference, Caitlin,” he said. “Now that I don’t feel so worried about the kids, I can get back to my plans for improving Tall Trees. I’ve been running away from a lot of things.”

“Me too, Jake.”

He turned his head and his eyes met hers. “Running away doesn’t solve anything, does it?”

She thought of Conor’s words and tensed. “Not always.”

Jake’s eyes closed and his head fell back. He began to snore softly.

“Jake!” Caitlin said, giving him a poke on the arm. “Jake! You can’t stay here. Wake up!” She put a tentative hand on his chest feeling the smooth curve of muscle beneath his shirt.

She suddenly felt exhausted and said, “Okay, you can sleep in my bed.” She leaned over him. Holding her breath, she gazed into his handsome face, his straight nose and dimpled chin. She traced the scar with her finger—so much sadness behind it. She longed to have him confide in her, to share his painful memories and his dreams. He didn’t stir, so she brushed his full, firm lips with her own. “Goodnight.”

“Mmm,” he said in his sleep. Just as she went to move away, his arm came up around her waist, pulling her firmly against him. She tried to lift his hand, to slip out of his embrace without waking him, but he was leaning into her, his body too heavy to move.

She felt his hand move to cup her breast, his thumb teasing her nipple. She felt a thrill pass through her. “Jake,” she whispered. “Let me up.”

His leg anchored hers against the bed, and for a moment she thought he would proceed to make love to her without waking, just like that scene in Barbra Streisand’s film, The Way We Were and she held her breath. But his hand moved away as he slipped into a deeper sleep.

Was she a little sorry? She wanted to make love to him, but not like this. Managing to pull the bed cover partly over them, she rested her head against his shoulder, and lay there running his words through her mind. She’d wait until he moved, she told herself. Feeling warm and safe, she closed her eyes.

* * * *

The sound of the door opening woke Caitlin as Sally came in. “Oh,” she said, looking at Caitlin and Jake. She grinned. “I doubt anyone slept in their own bed last night.”

Jake had turned on his side during the night, but she hadn’t woken, sleeping deeper than she had for ages. She climbed out of bed. “Would you mind giving me a few minutes, Sally?” she whispered. “Please.”

Sally nodded and slipped out, closing the door.

Caitlin mussed up the other bed then shook Jake’s arm. He turned over, opening his eyes. “Where the devil…?” He sat up and looked around, his eyes widening as realization dawned. “Caitlin, I’m so sorry. Did I put you out of your bed?”

“It doesn’t matter, Jake. Sally spent the night elsewhere. You were a little under the weather.”

He went to get up, then groaned and leaned back on the pillow. Rising more slowly he sat on the edge of the bed and held his head in his hands. “I haven’t felt like this since I was twenty.” He looked up and his eyes met hers. “I do apologize for disturbing your rest.”

She laughed, wondering if she’d ever be able to tell him that they’d spent the night in each other’s arms. “You were a perfect gentleman. You just came to see if the children were okay.”

“Did I? I’m acutely embarrassed.” He looked over at the other bed. “I hope you slept okay.” He looked at her again and tilted his head, grinning. “Well, you look as fresh as a daisy.”

“Don’t worry about me. I slept like a log.”

He stood and stretched. “Breakfast is the best cure for a hangover as I remember. Let’s get the kids. We’ll make an early start.”

As they left the house, she searched uneasily for Conor, but couldn’t see him among the crowd of people breakfasting on the verandah or crowded around the movie star by the swimming pool.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Chapter Eleven

Back on the road heading inland, Jake gave into Elizabeth’s pleas and put on a CD of kiddie pop. Caitlin leaned back and began to think about what Conor had told her. Where was Max? As if on cue, the trembling returned as she unwillingly relived those awful last weeks in Ireland.

The Saturday after she broke off with Max, he turned up at her door with flowers and two tickets to a concert.

The sight of him standing there caused a wave of guilt and frustration to flood through her.

As usual, he was immaculately dressed, with a new bright tie, but his face looked almost greenish in the evening light. “I’ve missed you, Caitlin.”

“Max, I haven’t changed my mind.”

He frowned. “Can I come in for a moment?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m just going out.”

She didn’t want to tell him that Blaine Tremlow, from the school where she worked, was giving her a lift to the school concert. An entirely innocent arrangement, but she felt uneasy about it. He was still there when Blaine arrived. Only after she introduced them and climbed into Blaine’s car, did he turn to go.

The telephone calls started almost immediately afterwards. When she answered, there was only the sound of breathing. She had to resort to leaving the receiver off the hook, then had the phone cut off and bought a mobile. A few weeks later when she came home after a night out at the movies, she stood in her sitting room feeling prickles travel up her spine, somehow positive that someone had been there. Telling herself she was being absurd, she opened cupboard doors and checked for the smallest bit of evidence to verify that someone had been there. It didn’t help when she found it. Her makeup drawer in the bathroom had been opened and a little powder that she never used was spilled across the vanity top. She stood staring down at it for a long time, her heart feeling as if a hand had reached in and was squeezing it tightly. Then she remembered she’d given a key to Max and he hadn’t given it back. She took deep breaths to slow her racing thoughts as a cold chill ran up and down her spine.

She dragged a heavy chair against the front door then went to bed, knowing she wouldn’t sleep a wink. Tomorrow, she planned to call a locksmith.

A few days later, she sensed she was being followed. It was completely irrational, because she never saw anyone, and wondered if she was becoming paranoid. When she returned from a night out with friends, she’d open the door to her apartment cautiously, as the fear that her space had been violated took her over. Then she discovered her window had been jimmied open, and closed again. Her potted violet had been moved. She called the locksmith again and had new locks put on the windows. She deliberated going to the Garda station, but she had no proof it was Max. She lost her appetite and couldn’t sleep and when she was in the shower, she panicked, feeling vulnerable and alone.

Caitlin began to live in an airless cocoon, never opening the windows. It didn’t help to accuse herself of an overactive imagination, nothing could shake the sense that someone had been there, moving her things around, ever so slightly.

The night she went to the theatre, it was just to get out of the apartment and try to get life back to normal. She and Blaine shared a desire to see a Noel Coward play. They enjoyed it, and parted after coffee.

Caitlin went to find a cab, but after waiting ten minutes, she began walking home. About a block on, she heard footsteps and felt that sensation again—positive this time that someone was following her. Looking back, her eyes tried to penetrate the darkness, but she couldn’t see anyone in the shadowy street. She realized that in this leafy district, the big houses were set so far off the road, no one would hear a cry for help. She was just three blocks from home, but that suddenly seemed a long way away. As she broke into a run, she heard the sound of running behind her. She ran full tilt about a block before she was forced to stop, her breath rasping in her throat. Bent double with a painful stitch in her side, she strained for sounds behind her, but heard just the light breeze rustling the leaves. She pushed on through the pain, half bent over and stumbling. She deliberated on running into one of the houses and pleading for help, but to do that meant negotiating their dark gardens. It was late and so far, she hadn’t seen a light on anywhere.

Just when she thought she was safe, that it had all been in her imagination, the footsteps started up again as if someone was cruelly tormenting her. Trying to get her breath, she turned a corner and peered back from behind a tree. There he was! At the far end of the street, she could just make out a man’s tall, slim outline illuminated briefly by the streetlight, before he melted back into the shadows. Confirmation that she was right only made her more terrified, and ignoring the pain of her protesting muscles, she ran full pelt for the last block and a half.

Her apartment block came into view on the opposite corner. She was half way across the road when a car came roaring around the corner, coming straight for her. She threw herself onto the footpath, falling flat, grazing her knees, as it sped past in a silver blur. It happened so fast she didn’t see what make of car it was, or who was at the wheel. She picked herself up and pushed through the gate, struggling to push the last ounce of her strength to the reach door of her apartment building.

Caitlin’s heart seemed to be jumping out of her chest. Sweat trickled down the back of her knees and between her breasts as she fumbled in her bag for the key. She tried to unlock the door. She seemed to be moving in slow motion as she forced her clumsy, shaking fingers to work. At last, the door opened and she almost fell into her hallway, slamming it shut behind her.

She slept very little that night, rising heavy-eyed and exhausted. She arrived at school just as the bell rang. As she hurried in, she found one of her co-workers, Fiona O’Reilly waiting at the door of her classroom. Fiona looked shocked and there were tears in her eyes as she took Caitlin’s arm. “Have you heard the news, Caitlin?”

Caitlin caught her breath, “No. What’s happened?”

“Blaine Tremlow was killed last night.”

Her throat dried up. “Blaine! How?”

“Hit and run, apparently.”

“I was with him last night. We went to the theatre together.” Caitlin pulled her coat on again. “I have to speak to the Garda.”

“I’ll get someone to cover for you,” Fiona called, as Caitlin rushed down the hall.

She trembled as she sat in the local Garda station. A Detective Cummins asked her questions and filled in the gaps. Blaine had been walking home as she had, only a few blocks away. He’d been callously knocked down and left for dead on the road.

Poor Blaine, Caitlin couldn’t get her head around the thought that he’d been killed just because he knew her. She was sure Max was behind it. The policeman listened quietly as she told him how something similar had happened to her.

“And you believe your ex-boyfriend, Maxwell Haughton, might have run down Blaine Tremlow?”

“Yes. I’m positive. Don’t just sit here talking to me, you have to find him.”

The policeman observed her calmly. “You believe that he tried to kill you too?”

“Not kill, no. He swerved to avoid me. He’s toying with me, like a cat with a mouse.”

“What makes you think that?”

“He told me weeks ago that if I saw other men there’d be trouble,” Caitlin said.

The detective wrote something down. “Has he ever been violent towards you?”

“No, but—”

He tapped a pen against the desk. “How can you be sure that the two events are connected?”

“He’s been following me, I tell you. Breaking into my apartment. Ringing my phone and not answering. It’s Maxwell Haughton, I’m positive.”

He leaned forward. “When do you think he last followed you?”

Caitlin felt deadening exhaustion sweep over her. “Last night. I saw a man—”

“What sort of car does Haughton drive?”

“An old Austin Healey sports car,” she said, as he wrote it down. “But—”

“Didn’t you say the car that almost ran you down was a silver sedan?”

“I’m trying to tell you, Max’s family keep several cars in Dublin.”

“At their home address?”

She shook her head miserably. “They own more than one property. Garaging somewhere.”

He threw down his pen and stood up. “We’ll contact him.” He gazed down at her. “I hope you’re wrong about Haughton, Miz Fitzgerald, or the day might come when he’ll stop playing with you. Be careful. Mice are eaten in the end.”

A week later, the detective contacted her. Max had caught the ferry to Wales and disappeared. They needed more evidence to take it further and she couldn’t supply it. If only she’d been able to identify him as the driver of the car.

He’d slipped away to England. Did that mean she was safe? She didn’t feel safe.

Caitlin continued to sleep badly. She had trouble with her breathing every time she left the flat. One night, when she was alone in a train, her heart began to hammer and sweat ran down her neck. She panted, feeling as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of the carriage by some malevolent force. Frightened, she consulted a doctor who told her she’d suffered a panic attack. He wrote her a subscription for sleeping pills and sedatives. She refused to take the sedatives, feeling she needed her wits about her, but took the sleeping pills every night. It was the only thing that stopped her lying awake, peering into the darkness. She would wake feeling doped but it helped to shut out the worry for a few hours.

Caitlin knew this couldn’t go on. The Garda wouldn’t get Max. He was too smart. Her depression grew as her life in Dublin turned into a nightmare.

On the way home from work one afternoon, she walked into a job centre. They didn’t have any teaching jobs on their books far enough away. England, Scotland and Wales were out of the question. On the notice board, she saw a position for a governess in the Australia Outback It wasn’t what she planned for her career, but she applied for it. Surely Max couldn’t reach her at a cattle station in the middle of nowhere.

But now, after seeing Conor at Springbroke, she wasn’t so sure. When she got back to Tall Trees, she planned to ring the Detective in Dublin and tell him to look into the death of Mary Delaney.

The CD ended. The children began to quarrel about whose turn it was to choose the music. “That’s enough, kids. Please,” Jake said. “There’s not going to be any more music.” He glanced at her. “You’ve been very quiet, Caitlin.”

“Just a bit tired,” she said, studying his profile.

He released the wheel then gripped it tighter. Without taking his eyes from the road he said, “Hope that’s not my fault.”

“Not at all,” she said hastily. A nerve jumped in his left leg. He was growing tired. This road demanded a high level of concentration.

She turned around to check on the children who had suddenly grown quiet. The rhythmic bumping of the tires on the road had lulled them both to sleep.

In the quiet cocoon-like atmosphere, Caitlin’s eyes were drawn back to Jake. What was he thinking? Perhaps he was perplexed by his own behavior. She would have liked to talk about it, but wondered if that would be wise. It was easier to fantasize that he’d come to see her last night and not the children. Her fingers itched to soothe his twitching thigh and she suddenly grinned at how explosive that might prove to be.

“Something funny?” He sounded defensive.

She must have giggled. She was tired. Hang it all, she thought, this embarrassment needed to be smoothed over. They had to live together. “You snore a bit,” she said.

He laughed and his body relaxed back into the seat. “No one’s accused me of that before. Probably the alcohol.”

“Mmm.”

He glanced at her, still grinning. “You don’t believe me?”

“Snorers are always in denial.”

“Maybe you do too?” he said, laughter in his voice. “But I can’t accuse you of it, can I? You have me on the defensive.”

She laughed. “Yes, and I’m going to enjoy it while I can.”

The atmosphere lightened as he began to talk about a cook he once had whose snoring had rattled the rafters. How he’d had to come up with a far-fetched excuse to let him go after losing too much sleep. She leaned back, allowing his light, amusing conversation to wash over her, but she remembered his sweet words of gratitude before he fell asleep. Would he still feel that way if he knew her presence might bring a murderer to Tall Trees?

Elizabeth’s sleepy voice came from the rear seat. “Can I have a drink, Caitlin?”

“Yes, sweetheart.”

Doubts began to fill Caitlin’s mind. “Jake?” Caitlin began. Was she being melodramatic? After she spoke to Detective Cummins, she would tell him the whole story. In a quiet moment when the children weren’t around.

“Yes?”

“How long till we get there?”

“Are we there yet?” came Elizabeth’s echo from the back seat and they all laughed.

But not now.

* * * *

The next morning, Caitlin put in a call to Detective Michael Cummins of the Garda Siochána in Dublin. She was told he was on vacation. She was then switched from pillar to post as she tried to find the person handling the Blaine Tremlow case. She was told to either reveal any new information she had about the case, or wait until Detective Cummins returned.

She hung up.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Chapter Twelve

Jake and Caitlin had been more at ease with each other since they’d returned from the gymkhana, and their drinks together after dinner continued. They seemed to laugh more and rib each other. She’d felt herself slipping further into a beguiling situation, blinding herself to the inevitable. And Max seemed to be a phantom, receding into the past.

Vanessa’s appearance brought her back to earth with a thump. Whatever she thought about Vanessa’s potential as a mother to two children Caitlin had come to love, she would never attempt to steal another woman’s man.

But Vanessa came with a bee in her bonnet about something. She quarreled with Jake until he barely spoke to her. Once, her raised voice halted mid-sentence when Caitlin came into the room. Jake looked furious and stomped out. The children appeared to get on Vanessa’s nerves and she no longer made much of an attempt to hide it.

Angela retreated to the garden to commune with her chickens. When Caitlin came out to find her she said, “There’s a battle of wills going on between those two and I doubt Vanessa will win it.” She threw feed around and made clucking noises. “She’s acting dumb. You don’t try to push a guy like Jake around without a very good reason. And you get on with his kids. That’s not too hard, surely.”

“Of course not. They’re great kids.” Caitlin helped her shut the gate. “Shall we go back?”

Angela grimaced. “If we must.”

Harry offered Caitlin another riding lesson. Glad to be back on a mates footing with him, she grabbed the opportunity eager for a few hours away from the house.

They rode out before noon. Caitlin found she was becoming acclimatized to the heat. They rode for almost an hour before Harry dismounted to rest his horse. He held Caitlin’s reins for her to do the same. “About three kilometers from here are some Aboriginal cave paintings,” he said. “People come from all over the world to see them.”

She was far more confident in the saddle. In fact, she was ready to surprise Jake with what she could do. She was just waiting for the opportunity.

“Can we make it to the caves and back before dark?” She had no wish to add to the unsettled atmosphere at Tall Trees.

“With time to spare. I’ve brought torches and water. Look, even a couple of sandwiches. Hungry?”

Eyeing the squashed bundle of plastic wrap, she said, “Who made them? Columbine?”

“Funny girl. I did. Ham-and-tomato or cheese-and-tomato.”

“I guess beggars can’t be choosers.” Caitlin took the cheese-and-tomato and began to unwrap it.

Harry laughed. “That’s very ungracious of you, Caitlin. Water?” He handed her a bottle. “Eat up, the land levels out ahead and I want to see how well you can gallop.”

She sat down on a rock to eat and then jumped up again as a fat lizard came to claim it. “I sometimes feel like I’ve come to another planet,” she said crossly, backing away as the lizard stared up at her and made a loud, hissing sound.

“A goanna.” Harry said, dismissing it.

It looked menacing to her. A hawk floated in the sky above them and the goanna suddenly came to life, crawling away out of sight. Relieved, Caitlin moved away, but she was aware she was not top of the food chain here and it put her constantly on the alert.

They mounted their horses again and she showed off how much she’d improved. Far less like a sack of potatoes thumping about in the saddle, but still lacking the grace and ease of the men. Harry passed her easily and headed towards a rocky outcrop in the distance.

“Wait,” she called. “Columbine doesn’t have legs like Thunderbolt.”

He returned and circled her. “Talking about legs,” he said teasingly.

“Down boy,” she replied, grinning. They’d arrived at the outcrop and she saw the mouth of the caves that probably ran deep into the earth.

They tied up the horses in some shade from a pile of rocks. “I’m not about to wander miles underground, Harry.”

“We don’t have to go very far,” he replied, as she followed him inside.

They moved deeper into the cave, away from the entrance, the light from their torches bouncing off the rock walls.

“Ow!” Caitlin yelled, freaking out as something slithered past her.

“What is it now?” Harry asked in a wry tone, his voice echoing around her.

“Something ran over my foot,” she said indignantly.

“Probably just a snake.”

“A snake!” she flinched, her sweaty fingers almost dropping the torch.

Harry’s torch raked the ground at her feet. After a brief look, its glow returned to the cave wall. “A small carpet python. It’s gone now.”

“Harry,” she said firmly. “I don’t intend to die of snake bite here in this cave.”

“Shush, Woman,” he said. “Look.”

Caitlin aimed her torch where Harry was pointing his, then held her breath. The wall was covered with animals and strange images painted in clay and earth colors. They almost came to life in the light of their torches. “Amazing.” she said. “How old would these be?”

“Hundreds of years, I reckon.”

She let out her breath. “Some look like creatures from outer space.”

“They symbolize the Aboriginal Dreamtime.”

“The Dreamtime?”

“The Aboriginal take on the afterlife.”

It was deathly quiet in the cave. The cool darkness wrapped itself around Caitlin and she shivered.

She felt his hand warm on her shoulder. “You’re shaking. Are you okay?”

They made her think of death. Of Blaine, Mary and Max. And her own mortality. “I’ve never seen anything like this, that’s all,” she whispered.

“The place is getting to you. Come outside.”

In the dazzling sunlight spots danced before her eyes. She almost welcomed the heat. it warmed her and made her feel alive. “Harry, what if that had been a poisonous snake in there and it bit me. What would you have done?”

“You should know about that.” He searched around the ground and selected a small, reasonably straight branch, then pulled off his belt. “Give me your leg.”

“What!”

“Your leg,” he grinned. “It’s safe with me.”

Caitlin put her leg up on the rock beside him. He carefully rolled up the bottom of her jeans to the knee. “You’d find two puncture wounds where it bit you,” he said, touching her calf gently. He placed the branch against her leg, and then deftly wound the belt around it firmly, winding upwards. “You have to immobilize the limb. It stops the poison from spreading. I sucked the poison out once when a young cowhand got himself bit, but that’s not advised any more, they need the venom for snake identification.”

“What about an antivenin?”

“The Doc down in the town keeps some handy, but if you’re bitten by a Brown or a Taipan you don’t have much time.”

“Can I have my leg back before you cut off the circulation?”

“You’re no fun. Come on, time to head back. You do want to get back before dark?”

“Yes, please!”

“We’ll have to ride flat out.”

* * * *

It had been blissfully peaceful since Vanessa went home. Caitlin and Jake had begun playing board games with the children after dinner. Snakes and Ladders was a big hit. There was much shouting and arguing as William slid down the snakes and Elizabeth climbed the ladders.

Caitlin had to calm them down to get them into bed.

One night, Jake put on one of Elizabeth’s favorite Jessica Simpson CD, Sweet Kisses, and he gave in to his daughter’s pleas to dance with her. Caitlin clapped to the beat as he swept the little girl up and they danced around the floor. When he put her down, Elizabeth said, “Now it’s Caitlin’s turn, Daddy.”

Caitlin shook her head. But when Jake held out his arms, she walked into them. She could barely breathe as their bodies came together. He was rhythmic and graceful, and his body felt far too good under her hands. She looked up into his face, and his blue gaze sought hers and held it. Did something unspoken pass between them or did she just want to think it had?

“I think that’s enough,” she said laughing and drawing away. “Now it’s William’s turn. She sat and watched the three of them dance around the floor.

After they’d put the children to bed and were gathering up their toys, Jake said, “You know that pile of wood and bricks out in the yard?”

She nodded. Covered in creeper, they had obviously been there a long time.

“I planned to build the kids a playroom on the cool side of the house. I think I’ll make a start on it tomorrow.”

“Perhaps I can help load the bricks into the barrow?”

“A brickie’s laborer?” Jake laughed. “Every building site should have one like you.”

She grinned at him. “You think I can’t do heavy lifting?”

“You’ll get blisters.” He grinned back. “You’ll quit when you break a nail.”

“Oh!” She punched him on the arm. “Just because I don’t have muscles on my muscles, like you.”

“I’m not complaining about the way you’re put together.”

There was a loaded pause.

“I’ll be up and ready when you are.”

“You think?” He laughed.

The next day she rose to the sound of hammering. She looked out and saw Jake working, stripped to the waist. For a moment, she drank in the grace and beauty of the man. The rippling muscles on his chest and back, shiny with sweat. His trim waist and long, lean legs in his cut off jeans. His dark head as he leaned forward with the hammer, pounding away with rhythmic strokes. There was something primeval about it, which made her draw breath. But he wasn’t building it for her. He had some of the framework already in place. She hurriedly pulled on a t-shirt and shorts and went out to him. “Before breakfast?”

He turned and grinned at her. “Told you I’d be up before you.”

Caitlin decided to set her alarm clock for the next morning. Before daybreak.

“Would you like a tea break?”

“Now you’re talking.”

“I’ll be right back.”

That night, Caitlin ached in different places from her riding lessons. She wanted to tell Jake about her new riding and shooting skills, but she savored it up, putting it away for the right moment. Just now, she was intent on proving to him she could be that strong Outback woman. He was right about her hands though. She looked down at the blisters forming on her palms and her broken nails. It had been a perfect day. The children, released from their lessons early, had frolicked like young calves around them as they worked steadily until the light faded.

“I love the smell of the bush, lemony and minty and something oddly medicinal,” she said having a drink on the verandah with Jake after dinner.

“It’s the gum trees. Eucalyptus. The aborigines use all kinds of plants for medicinal purposes. You should ask Jamie, the young Aboriginal lad down at the compound. He’s a great tracker, too.”

“Tracker?”

“Yeah. If someone gets lost I guarantee he’ll find them.”

“That’s comforting.”

“Maybe not in time to save them though. You can die pretty quick out here.”

She walked to the edge of the verandah and stared off into the darkness. A giant bird went flying by flapping huge wings.

“An owl,” Jake said. He’d come to stand beside her.

She turned around and leaned against a verandah post, gazing up into his face. She desperately wanted to reach out to him, but so much stood in the way of it. It was impossible. “Let’s go in. I challenge you to a game of poker.”

“Aren’t you sick of me always winning?”

She followed him. “That’s because you cheat.”

He turned around, his eyes wide. “I do what?”

She laughed. “Where do you think your son gets it from?”

He seized her shoulders and gave her a gentle shake. “Take that back.”

“Uh oh.”

“Take it back or I’ll…”

His eyes were on her mouth. “You’ll do what?” she asked softly.

He released her and turned back to the door. “I don’t need to cheat. You’re easy meat.”

“Coward,” she said too softly for him to hear above the bang of the fly-screen door.

* * * *

With the room now built and furnished with the children’s toy boxes, Jake planned to take the children to Darwin for the weekend. Caitlin was packing Elizabeth’s clothes into an overnight bag when he came into the bedroom.

“I wonder if you’d like to come with us this time.”

She placed a folded t-shirt into the bag and turned, heart suddenly thudding. “I’d love to.”

“You’re not spending the weekend with Harry?”

She flattened the shirt, smoothing out non-existent wrinkles. “No. I’ll come to Darwin. Thanks, Jake.”

“Have you ever flown in a small plane?”

She shook her head. “I’ll be fine.”

He cocked his head to one side. “You can finally find a swimming costume that fits.”

She felt heat on her cheeks and looked away. “Um. Yes.”

“Or you can keep wearing that green one,” he said laughter in his voice. “It’s not going to bother me.”

The tone of his voice was different, lower, inviting a response she didn’t feel able to counter. She took a steadying breath. Was he flirting? If he started that, all her defenses would instantly combust.

“Caitlin,” William stood at the door. “Can I take my toy train set?”

“Not this time, Will.” Jake patted William’s head. “We’ll be too heavy and the plane won’t be able to take off.”

She went to her room to throw a few things in a bag. Looking over her tired, limited wardrobe, she felt a stab of excitement. She planned to buy something more glamorous than the shorts and jeans she seemed to live in.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Chapter Thirteen

The small plane made her feel as if she had her own wings. They flew over spectacular, rugged country. She looked down on a range with oddly shaped orange and black stripes across beehive-like mounds.

“You’re looking down on the Bungle Bungles,” Jake said. “Over twenty million years old.”

“What an extraordinary sight.”

The range had steep cliffs rising above woodland and grass plain. As they flew on, Caitlin saw an amazing, hidden world of giant gorges and pools, decked out in greenery.

“It makes me feel very small and insignificant,” Caitlin said.

Jake looked at her. “It strikes most of us like that.”

“What’s that?” she asked, looking down at her first glimpse of civilization. A town nestled beside a huge body of water.

“That’s Lake Kununurra. ‘Meeting of the waters’—the Aboriginal meaning for Kununurra, that’s the town you see down there,” Jake said, pointing. “We’ll take Caitlin there one day, eh, kids?”

“We’ll go fishing in a boat, spearing Baramuri,” William said, making stabbing gestures.

“Barramundi,” Jake corrected.

“You can see the giant pelicans, they’re funny,” William went on, unfazed.

“I don’t like Darwin,” Elizabeth said, her expression bleak. “We always stay indoors with Nanna.”

“Not this time, Elizabeth,” Caitlin said. “We’ll go shopping for pretty, new clothes and go swimming and get ice creams. Maybe even go to the movies. Would you like that?”

“And new pink sneakers like the ones on TV?”

Caitlin looked down at the shadow the plane made—like a soaring bird—as it flew across the town to the airport. Darwin was larger than she expected.

“We had a disastrous storm here years ago,” said Jake. “Cyclone Tracy. It flattened the place in 1974. Sadly, there’s little of the original Darwin left. The Colonial architecture had its own kind of charm.”

When Caitlin stepped onto the tarmac, the humid air covered her like a wet blanket. “It seems even hotter here than Tall Trees.”

Jake glanced out to the horizon where huge clouds were gathering. “It’s building up to the wet season.”

The hotel looked out over a turquoise sea. Palm trees trembled in a slight sea breeze that didn’t help at all with the heat, but when they walked into the hotel, an icy blast of air conditioning felt like a bath of chilled Champagne. They checked in and were relieved of their bags by a porter. As they walked over the cool terrazzo floors to the lifts, the heat outside was quickly forgotten.

Jake had booked a three-bedroom suite with a terrace that looked over the leafy town.

Caitlin leaned over the balcony rail, admiring the colorful purple and red flowering trees. She had unpacked their bags and was planning the day. First, shopping for swimming costumes for her and Elizabeth, then back for a dip in the huge, guitar-shaped pool below.

Jake came to stand beside her. “Where are the shops?” she asked him.

He laughed.

“And why is that funny?”

“I’ve never known a woman not to ask that question after spending time at Tall Trees,” he said.

She speculated on how many women he’d known, then grew annoyed with herself. He leaned in her direction, his arm touching hers as he pointed. “See that building over there?” She pulled her gaze from his smooth, brown arm to look out over the roofs to a concrete structure that seemed to cover a whole block.

“Yes.”

“That’s the shops. There’s a movie complex in there, too.”

“Great. I’ll take the children.”

“Okay. I have some work to do.” He drew a wad of notes from his wallet. “Here’s some money to buy those things we discussed. I’ll see you back here at the hotel for lunch.”

* * * *

The complex had two floors of shops that seemed to go for miles. Caitlin bought the children an ice cream and they wandered through, stopping at a toyshop where she bought them each a puzzle. They entered a swimwear shop and Elizabeth pounced on a yellow costume with a frilly trim around the bottom.

“That will suit you,” Caitlin said as she searched along the racks.

“What about this one for you, Caitlin?” Elizabeth held up a hot-pink bikini. She pointed to the navy one-piece Caitlin held in her hand. “That one’s too boring.”

Caitlin was after something serviceable, suitable for her position, but she took the bikini from Elizabeth. She had never seen anything like it in Ireland, and it was her size. “I’ll try these on,” she said to the sales girl. She checked that William was occupied, sitting in the corner of the shop with a toy car, then slipped into a cubicle while Elizabeth tried on hers. The bikini was briefer than anything she’d worn before, but it came with a matching wrap. She changed and came out, holding up the navy one-piece and the bikini. “I’ll take both of these and the yellow.” She took out her purse.

“You have lovely children,” the salesgirl said as she wrapped their purchases.

“Not mine, but thanks.” Caitlin handed over the money Jake had given her and glanced down at them. Elizabeth was holding her hand and William was placing his toy car carefully in her bag. She felt a stab of inexplicable pride.

“Time for lunch,” she said. “We’ll come back later and buy you some clothes, William.”

“I don’t need any,” he said crossly.

Back at the hotel, a note from Jake was propped on the kitchen bench, inviting her to join the family for lunch. She almost declined, wondering if Vanessa would be there. Caitlin devised a plan of escape, knowing she wouldn’t want her there. She made the children wash their faces and hands, then ran a brush quickly through their hair and tidied hers.

The restaurant was an airy place with a glass wall overlooking luxuriant tropical gardens with a waterfall gushing over artfully arranged rocks. There was no sign of Vanessa. Jake entered alone, crossing the floor with his familiar, lanky stride, just as the waiter showed them to the table.

“Have a good morning, kids?” he asked, looking at Caitlin with raised brows.

“We did,” she answered. “Show your father your new car, William, seeing you insisted on bringing it to the table.”

William held up his tiny, red-and-white sports car. Caitlin hadn’t given it much attention while it was in its box, now she saw it was an Austin Healey like the one Max had. Fortunately, Elizabeth demanded Jake’s attention and she had time to recover herself.

The waiter stood with pen poised.

“How about we treat ourselves to Barramundi with a prawn cocktail to start?” Jake asked Caitlin.

“I can’t wait to taste it,” she said, suddenly ravenous.

“And perhaps fish and chips and salad for the kids?” He handed back the menu.

William came back to his seat. He’d been examining the tropical fish swimming in the huge tank beside them. “I’m not eating fish,” he said, “ever again.”

Jake smiled at the waiter. “Make one spaghetti.”

“Caitlin and I bought new costumes, Daddy,” Elizabeth said. “We’re going swimming after lunch.”

Jake looked at Caitlin. She waited for some comment, but he just said, “I have something to do this afternoon. I know you’ll take good care of the kids.”

She smiled back at him, pleased that he was beginning to trust her. She was looking forward to relaxing and improving her tan while he was away.

After lunch, she and the children changed and headed down to the pool. Wearing the new bikini with the wrap tied around her waist and a t-shirt and sandals, Caitlin double-checked that they had their hats, sun cream and towels.

The pool was incredibly glamorous, like something from a Hollywood movie set and they had it to themselves. The children immediately wanted to jump in. “Wait,” she said. “Let me take off my things and we’ll all go in together.”

They splashed about in the shallow end, the water lapping Caitlin’s skin like cool, soothing fingers. “You can show me how well you swim now, William. You too, Elizabeth.”

They were both at home in the water, like little fish. Caitlin hadn’t swum much, growing up in Ireland, and had never been anywhere to equal this. It was heaven. She floated around them as they played, feeling the sun burning into her shoulders. Not sure, she’d bought the right sunscreen—one that didn’t wash off in the water, she climbed out and began searching through her bag while keeping one eye on the children.

“Hi kids.” Jake appeared at the edge of the pool with Vanessa, dressed in a white pants suit, at his side.

Caitlin grabbed her wrap and wound it quickly around her waist. Jake’s presence made her feel oddly naked.

Jake’s glance lingered on her for a moment before he squatted down beside the pool.

“Do you like our new costumes, Daddy?” Elizabeth called up to him.

“Perfect,” he said looking down at her. Vanessa came to stand beside him, placing her hand on his shoulder.

“Come in, Daddy. The water’s lovely and c-o-l-d.”

‘Soon, Elizabeth,” Jake answered. “Show Vanessa how well you can swim, Will.”

William began to dog paddle along the edge of the pool, sending up a spray of water. Vanessa took a step backward to avoid her linen trousers being splashed, but she was looking at Caitlin, her finely arched eyebrows raised.

“Vanessa and I will change and join you,” Jake said, rising. “I could do with a swim.”

“I’m sure Caitlin would like to take the afternoon off, Jake,” Vanessa said. “She can see more of Darwin on her own.”

“Good idea,” Jake said. “Take a couple of hours off, Caitlin. Go see the town.”

“There’s the aquarium and the botanical gardens,” Vanessa suggested, warming to the topic.

“Thanks, Jake,” Caitlin said, avoiding Vanessa’s gaze. “I’d like to buy some clothes, and it’s hard to try them on with the children.”

Vanessa spoke softly in Jake’s ear.

“Take the whole afternoon off, Caitlin,” he said. “I’ll take the kids to see my mother after our swim.”

“Great,” Caitlin said cheerfully. Vanessa watched as she picked up her gear. Vanessa had declared war and Caitlin sensed her days were numbered. It was just a job, she told herself. She’d learned from Sally at Springbroke Station that governesses were in great demand in the Outback, but she couldn’t shake the sadness she felt as she went to change. It had all started so well. The loss she felt was painful and she suddenly sensed how much she would miss this family. She straightened and walked to the lift, fighting the urge to cry.

* * * *

The first thing Caitlin planned to do was buy shorts and t-shirts for the children, with the last of the money Jake had given her. In a large department store, she leisurely color-coordinated two outfits for Elizabeth and William. It was only three o’clock when she’d finished and the moist, still air hung around her, the feeling of exhaustion making her feet heavy.

She walked aimlessly along the street but it was like walking through a wall of water. She stopped for an iced coffee and then wandered into a mall and bought a strapless, red cotton dress she planned to wear to dinner, some night cream and a hair clip, and then checked her watch again. The afternoon seemed to be crawling by.

Caitlin deliberated visiting the aquarium then dismissed it, and it was far too hot for the Botanical gardens. In a bookshop, she bought the latest thriller, feeling the only sensible place to be was the hotel pool. When she emerged from the shop, she headed into the crowd milling around the plaza, but just as she turned a corner, she caught sight of a slim, fair-haired man entering the mall. Her breath caught in her throat. He looked just like Max.

Her heart pounded and the sweat under her arms seemed to cool suddenly. Max couldn’t be here in Darwin. But since the day she’d met Conor at Springbroke Station, anything seemed possible. She seemed incapable of moving and had to force herself cautiously to the entrance of the mall to peek from behind an ad board.

Caitlin couldn’t see him and she felt herself moving into the mall, despite the cool dampness dripping down her spine. She walked along the line of take-away food outlets and coffee bars and mounted the escalator that led to the second floor. There was no sign of him among the people pushing through to reach the sale items on display.

Just as she’d convinced herself she’d been wrong, she saw him. She darted behind a store display of towering plastic ware. He sat at a table holding a coffee cup. He put it down and rose as a man came towards him. Reaching forward, he shook the man’s hand.

It was Conor.

Caitlin froze as her imagination ran wild. Turning, she ran back down the escalator and out into the square. People eating at a Mexican food stall looked at her in surprise. She tried to come to terms with what she’d seen as she collapsed onto a bench behind a vine-covered pergola, her knees shaking too much to hold her up.

When she’d calmed herself and ordered her racing thoughts, she planned to follow Max and see where he was staying, but after watching the entrance to the mall for half an hour, neither he nor Conor made an appearance. There would probably be another exit to the next street, she reasoned. Feeling terribly vulnerable, she hurried back to the hotel, constantly turning to check behind her.

She entered the hotel fairly sure that she hadn’t been followed. The hotel suite was empty. A glance from the balcony down at the pool told her Jake, Vanessa and the children were still out. She shut herself in her room and curled up in a fetal position on the bed. Perhaps she should have made a more concerted effort to follow Max, but she had to admit she was afraid. One thing was clear—she’d been stupid not to tell Jake from the very first. He would have to be warned now. Her sheltered life at Tall Trees was coming to an end. Far too soon.

* * * *

Caitlin had to wait until after dinner for Vanessa to leave, before she could talk to Jake. She called room service and stayed in her room. When they all returned, she helped the children into their pajamas and settled them in their beds before Jake came to say goodnight.

She went back to her room and flicked sightlessly through a magazine, her face hot and her heart pounding. She could now see that she had not just been running from Max, she had been running from herself. She formed words of explanation in her head, but any way she told it, it sounded bad. There seemed to be an argument going on Jake’s room. She barely listened until she heard Vanessa say, as she opened the door, “You’d better decide what it is you do want.”

Caitlin heard the front door slam. She heard the click as Jake returned to his room. Slipping out of her door she peeked in on the children, they were sleeping like angels.

She sensed this wasn’t a good time, but that couldn’t be helped. She knocked on Jake’s door.

“Vanessa?” Was there a ring of hope in his voice?

“No. It’s Caitlin. Can we talk?”

“Sure. Come in.” He turned off his laptop and straightened some files on the desk, then motioning for her to sit, his movements appearing rigid, over-controlled. She recognized that as a sign he was angry about something. Not a good start.

She took in a deep breath to steady herself as she sat down. “I have something to tell you. It might take a while.”

He raised his eyebrows, then silently went to the mini-bar and opened it, peering in. “Like a drink?”

“Just a Coke, thanks.”

Opening two Cokes, he poured them into glasses. “Ice?”

Caitlin shook her head and took the glass he handed to her.

Her ice cubes rattled in her glass.

“Anything wrong?” he asked.

She took a large swallow of Coke and almost choked. Clearing her throat, she said, “There’s something I need to tell you. I should have told you before this.”

“Such intensity, Caitlin. Are you wanted by the police?” he smiled as he sat on the bed, taking a sip of his drink.

As her sad, alarming story poured out, she barely took a breath. With it came an odd sense of release. She might be out of a job tomorrow, but somehow she didn’t feel so alone and helpless anymore.

Jake said nothing until she was finished. Then he leaned forward. “Did this … Max … see you?”

She shook her head. “But there can be only one reason he’s come here. Conor must have gotten in touch with him, somehow. I didn’t tell him I was staying at Tall Trees, but someone else might have.”

“That’s possible,” Jake said thoughtfully.

“Jake, I’m devastated that I’ve brought this danger into your lives. I can get a plane straight away to Sydney, if you wouldn’t mind forwarding the rest of my things.”

Jake tossed back the rest of his drink. “You’re not going to do any such thing. I can handle this Max if he should show up around Tall Trees.”

Caitlin stood up. “No! You don’t know him. He’s … mad.”

Jake stood too and placed a reassuring hand lightly on her shoulder. “Caitlin, we’ve got wild boar, crocodiles, snakes and poisonous spiders to contend with at Tall Trees, to name but a few. He has to find his way there, and it would be difficult to do that without being seen in the town. We’ll be ready for him.”

“It can’t come to that! I’ll leave. The sooner the better.”

“But if he thinks you’re there, he’ll turn up anyway. And I won’t recognize him without you.”

She covered her teary eyes with her hands. “I never should have come here.”

He took out his hanky and offered it too her. When she reached to take it, their fingers touched and she felt sure she heard the air crackle.

“That’s nonsense. Darwin’s a long way from Tall Trees. We’ll go back tomorrow and I doubt you’ll see the man again.”

She wiped her eyes and blew her nose, conscious even now of his proximity. How his touch made her feel anything but comforted, just filled with longings she had no right to.

“I’ll go back, Jake, but just to pack. Then I’ll move on.” And on and on, she thought dispiritedly.

He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t want you to leave, Caitlin. The kids … and I have come to rely on you.”

Caitlin just looked at him. Not enough, Jake, she thought. That would never be enough. Perhaps leaving was for the best.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Chapter Fourteen

When Caitlin awoke, groggy from a disturbed night’s sleep, she looked out the window at grey skies threatening rain. She pulled on her robe and went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. Jake was there reading the paper. He glanced up at her concern in his eyes. She felt immediately responsible and guilt gripped her stomach, churning it.

“There’s a force three cyclone forming over the Arafura Sea,” he said, showing the main reason for his concern. “It’s hoped that by the time it reaches land it will have lessened, but no one can guarantee that. We’ll have to head back this morning. If we leave it too long we could be grounded here for a week or more.”

She felt chilled at the prospect of being stuck in Darwin. “I’ll get the kids up,” she said, “and pack.”

At the airport, the wind was picking up. “We have clearance to fly,” Jake said, “but it’s going to be a bit rough up there until we move out of range.”

They climbed aboard. Caitlin helped the children strap themselves in and then did her own belt up as Jake checked the instruments, making notes as he went.

The plane began to move, slowly at first, then quicker as they roared along the runway. As if caught by a giant gust of wind, they lifted off from the tarmac and climbed towards the clouds. Caitlin caught a brief glimpse of Darwin and the sea, grey-green and churning now. The strong winds caught them and tossed them about like a paper kite. Her stomach fluttered with nerves, but she trusted Jake. He wouldn’t fly if he thought they’d be in danger.

And she was so glad to be leaving Darwin.

The nose of the plane suddenly lifted then dropped sharply. Caitlin checked on the children, but they were calmly playing with toys.

“All right there?” Jake asked. He looked straight ahead and a muscle tensed in his jaw.

“Fine.” She flinched as heavy rain began to lash the windshield.

The plane rocked as they gained height, the engine straining as Jake attempted to keep a level course. “We’ll be out of this in about ten minutes,” he said. Lightning flashed across the sky. “Looks like the cyclone’s moving fast. Hope it doesn’t cause too much trouble.”

Caitlin selfishly hoped the weather would be just bad enough to keep Max in Darwin. She gripped her seat so hard her fingers began to hurt. Impenetrable, greenish-grey cloud enveloped them, turning brilliant orange when the lightning flashed.

“That lightning’s pretty far off,” Jake said with a quick glance in her direction.

She strained her ears for the clap of thunder and heard it crack behind them. She was starting to feel queasy and it made her even more nervous, hating the thought that she might be sick in front of the family.

“Daddy, I don’t like lightning,” Elizabeth said in a small voice.

Caitlin looked around at her white face, hoping this flight hadn’t brought back bad memories for her. Elizabeth had stopped having nightmares recently and was sleeping through the night. “We’ll be home soon, darling. That will be good, won’t it?”

“Yes.”

“The ponies will be glad to see you. You can give them an apple each.”

“We can’t ride when it’s raining,” William said disgusted.

A tense silence came over them as another wind gust shook the plane so hard Caitlin thought she felt her teeth rattle.

“I’m going to have to fly out of this,” Jake said.

As they began to dive down through the clouds, she found she was holding her breath and clenching every muscle in her body.

Abruptly, the clouds deserted them and they flew down through a mild, blue sky. Caitlin couldn’t believe it. She let her breath out with a gasp.” Wow!”

Jake smiled at her.

Soon, trees and landscape came into view, then Tall Trees. She leaned back feeling wrung out as Jake began to circle the small airstrip. “Look,” he said pointing. Kilometers away to the west, dust rose from a swelling sea of grey cattle. Stockmen on horseback were mustering them to the river that meandered through the flat, parched land. “We might have to move them to higher ground soon. That cyclone could cause us some trouble.”

Jake approached the airfield. The land seemed to rush up to meet them. The wheels touched down, they bounced twice then slowed as he applied the brake. Taxiing up the airstrip to where the SUV waited, he eased the plane to a stop.

Caitlin climbed out, turning to help the children. Jake put his hand up to shade his eyes, looking back toward the coast. The dark clouds were following them. He frowned. “Looks like we just made it,” he said.

By the time they’d reached the house the clouds had arrived and with them torrential rain. It seemed incongruous to see the old house drenched with the gutters overflowing.

Caitlin went to unpack their things, starting first on her own, pleased to be in the room she’d grown so fond of in the past months. The air felt fresh and cool and Max seemed a long way from her now. Perhaps he’d come to see Conor and not her at all, but as she thought it, she knew she was living in a fool’s paradise.

She sat on her rocker as tears rolled down her cheeks and made her plans. She would catch the next tourist coach back to Broome then travel on to Perth. But where to from there? She suddenly felt very tired. Vanessa was one person who would be glad to see her go. The thought brought feelings of anxiety for the children that she quickly suppressed. It wasn’t to be her problem anymore.

* * * *

It had rained without pause all night. The sound on the tin roof was deafening. When it woke Caitlin she couldn’t go back to sleep. It was close to dawn. The verandah light attracted clouds of insects as soon as she put it on—they seemed to be hovering there, waiting. She switched it straight off again and sat down on the doorstep of her room staring out into the grey light. The cool, moist air wrapped itself around her as she pulled her nightgown down over her feet and hugged her knees. She could now identify many of the sounds emanating from the bush. The croaks, chirps, squeals and hoots belonging to frogs, geckos, bats and owls. In the early dawn, a bird’s noisy song drowned out the rest. She knew that too, a black-and-white currawong. She felt her spirits lift a little. Rain brought new life to the bush and you couldn’t help responding to it.

She’d been there for almost an hour when she heard footsteps behind her. “Nice change isn’t it?” Jake said.

She looked up at him. “Lovely. Can’t you sleep either?”

He shook his head as he joined her on the step. “We’ll be pretty tired of it before it stops.”

“Have you heard any more news on the cyclone?”

“It’s over Darwin. We were lucky to get out.”

“Is it bad?”

“Let’s hope not. Most of Darwin was cyclone-proofed when they rebuilt after Tracy.”

He hadn’t mentioned Max since they’d left there. “I need to find out when the next Greyhound coach is coming through that can take me to Broome,” she said.

“They don’t run during the rainy season.”

“Is there another mode of transport?”

“Can’t you stay until I find a replacement? I’m going to be away mustering for a while and I’d like you to be here for the kids.”

Before she could answer he said, “Max won’t find it easy to get here now. Assuming he’s planning on coming.”

“You don’t know him.”

‘So you say. But I know Tall Trees and he doesn’t.”

“I’d like to stay. I’ve grown fond of the children.”

He held up a hand. “Then it’s settled.”

She moved and her thin, white cotton nightgown crept up over her legs.

“Caitlin,” he began, moving towards her. He reached out and stroked her arm with a feather-like touch that sent her senses reeling.

“What is it?” she asked him softly, gazing into his eyes.

He shook his head as if trying to clear it then jumped to his feet. “You’re getting cold sitting here like this.” Walking to the door, he said, “I’ll let you get dressed. See you at breakfast.”

“Jake?” she called after him. “Where’s Harry? Is he out with the cattle?”

“No. He’s down in the compound with the horses.”

“I might go and see him this afternoon.”

There was a pause before he said, “I’ll find you a raincoat.”

Harry had to be warned about Max.

* * * *

It continued to rain heavily as she walked down the hill, making her feel damp and uncomfortable inside the heavy, oilskin coat Jake had given her. She found Harry working in the stables. He looked up and smiled as she came in shedding her coat.

“What are you doing slumming it at the bottom of the hill?” he said, putting the rake away.

“Thought I’d come down and catch you slackers all sitting round having a fag.”

“You’re catching onto the lingo pretty quick,” he said laughing. “I was just considering a break. Put your coat back on. We’ll go up to the canteen.”

In the canteen, she pulled off her rain hat and shook her hair free. The sound of the rain drumming on the tin roof almost drowned out their speech.

“Coffee?” Harry asked.

“Thanks.”

“Milk no sugar.”

“You’re an observant man.”

Harry had a way of looking at her that spoke volumes. It wasn’t licentious or in anyway offensive, in fact, she rather enjoyed it. But there was that unspoken issue between them. She guessed they both had their reasons for leaving it alone.

She took a sip of tea. It was good and strong, the way she liked it.

“You can’t be getting bored up there,” he said. “You’ve just come back from Darwin.”

She shook her head. “I’ve come to tell you a story.”

“The story of your life?”

“In a way. You asked me once what I was scared of, remember?”

Frowning, he put his cup down and nodded.

She began to tell him about Max. When she got to the part where Blaine had been killed, Harry interrupted. “Sick bastard,” he said. She carried on, describing how she’d seen Max in Darwin. Harry pushed his cup away, sloshing tea on the table. “Tall Trees has a way of sorting out a city slicker like him.”

Caitlin shook her head. Here she was telling the men the secret she’d been afraid to reveal should it make their lives hell, and neither of them reacted the way she expected.

“If he pokes his head up here he’ll be sorry. What’s this blighter look like?”

As she described him, the thought that both Harry and Jake were looking out for her caused warmth to spread through her, despite her fears for everyone. It made her feel she wasn’t alone. Until common sense kicked in. She had not changed her plans. She would leave as soon as she could.

“Harry, as soon as Jake can free me, I need to get to Broome. Jake says there are no buses during the rainy season.”

“We could arrange a lift with one of the truck drivers. But these rains are quickly making the unsealed roads impassable. Unless this Max was on the road yesterday, I don’t see him appearing around these parts for a while.”

Jake had said that, too. Surely, both men couldn’t be wrong. They knew this country. She began to relax and believe time was on her side.

Harry’s voice broke into her thoughts. “You can’t keep running, Caitlin.”

She swallowed the lump forming in her throat. “Be careful Harry, won’t you?”

Harry gave his lopsided smile. ‘Sounds like you care.”

“Yes, I do.” She cared very much. How quickly the people of Tall Trees had become family.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Chapter Fifteen

The cyclone was still causing trouble in Darwin and surrounding areas—not large-scale devastation luckily, but a disruption to services.

A break came in the weather, and Jake came to find her.

“My neighbor, Joss Harley has been injured in a truck accident. It’s pretty bad.”

“Surely you’re not flying in this weather.”

He shrugged. “The Flying Doctor Service is grounded. I can’t let the poor bloke die. I can be there and back in a day, if the weather holds.”

Caitlin had seen the dark grey clouds rolling in over the horizon. “Do you think it will hold?”

“I don’t know. I’ve checked in the town for Maxwell Haughton. No one’s seen him.” He studied her. Harry will keep an eye on you, but if it starts to rain again, he and boys will have to go off and move the cattle before the river floods its banks That means you could be on your own for a bit. Will you be all right until I get back?”

“Yes. Go.”

“Caitlin?”

“Yes, Jake?”

“There’s a shotgun and bullets in my office.”

She nodded.

An hour later, she watched Jake’s plane fly off into the west. An hour after that the rain returned. Harder and more persistent than ever.

Stuck inside the house with the children was a constant exercise in creativity that kept Caitlin’s mind off Max, at least during that day, but that night, with no chance of Jake returning, she slept with one eye open and woke with a terrible headache.

The day was spent making finger puppets, using newspaper, glue and poster paint, sticking on bits of wool and string for hair.

The next day, the headache still persisting, she had the children hold a puppet show. Elizabeth helped write the simple story with William interjecting, when he wasn’t running around like a caged lion cub.

“Won’t your daddy be surprised,” Caitlin said when they’d given it a run through.

“He’s coming tomorrow, isn’t he, Caitlin?” Elizabeth asked.

Caitlin looked out the window at the incessant rain drilling straight down into the earth. She was heartily glad they were on a hill. “He will certainly try to, darling,” she said.

William began to jump up and down. “Daddy can fly in the rain,” he said fretfully. “He can fly in…” he screwed up his face in thought … snow!” They’d just watched a children’s video about a train traveling to see Santa at the North Pole.

“It doesn’t snow here, silly,” Elizabeth said scornfully.

“Brrr. Snow is cold. It snows sometimes in Ireland. How about we make ice cream tomorrow?” Caitlin suggested. “We’ll get Angela to help us.”

The next day the rain still pelted down. Coming from Ireland where it rained more often than not, Caitlin marveled at it. She’d never seen rain like it. The dams were brimming and pools of water lay across the ground. The air was humid and sticky. The children, who’d been very good for so long, had reached the end of their patience. William pulled Elizabeth’s hair and she threw a book at him. The air erupted with their cries and Caitlin rushed to calm them.

They made ice cream with what they had in the larder. Tinned milk, vanilla, sugar and gelatin. It tasted more like milky ice than ice cream, but the children enjoyed it and it took up a wonderful, full afternoon.

The phone rang and the three of them ran to answer it. Caitlin got there first.

“Is it Daddy?” William asked impatiently, pushing his sister away.

Jakes voice came over a crackling line. Caitlin put her fingers to her lips as he said, “The weather’s worse. I’ve never seen it so bad. I got Joss to the hospital. He’s going to be okay, but I’m stuck. The airport’s closed here in Kununurra. How’s everything … the kids?”

Her heart sank. “They’re fine. When do you think you’ll be able to fly?”

“Not looking good for tomorrow. Has Harry come back?”

“Not yet.”

“He probably needs a boat too. We’ve had a record rainfall already. I left Riley in charge down at the compound. I’m sorry, Caitlin.”

“Don’t try to rush back,” Caitlin forced herself to say. “We’re doing fine here.”

* * * *

“Harry should be back by now,” Caitlin said to Angela two days later.

Angela leaned back against the sink. “If there’s a way back he’ll find it,” she said.

“Might he be down at the compound?” Caitlin asked, tying her heavy, damp hair up off her neck.

“He’d be up to check on us.”

“Trouble with the horses, perhaps?”

Angela wiped her brow with the back of her hand. “It could be in danger of flooding down there. Years ago I remember a bad flood when they had to move the horses.”

Caitlin began to feel more restless than the children. “I’m going down to see.”

“Take care,” Angela said. “This weather brings all and sundry out of the bush. Especially snakes.”

Carrying her forked stick, she strode off down the hill. The soil had turned into red mud and the hill had become a waterfall. The silent bush dripped. There was only the sound of the birds. The only creatures apparently enjoying the conditions. She was sweating inside her raincoat. She would almost have preferred to get wet, but it afforded her some protection from the army of mosquitoes that had arrived with the rain and buzzed around her.

When she reached the compound, the place seemed deserted. “Riley?” she yelled into the silence.

Caitlin entered the stables. The five horses stabled there whinnied at the sight of her, and she went over to Columbine and stroked her nose. Not a good idea it seemed to her, to leave them here, as pools of water were spreading across the ground to join the fast flowing creek, fed with a run-off from the hill. If the rain didn’t let up, this place could be under water in a matter of hours.

She headed up to the canteen, but found it empty. Harry hadn’t returned. But where was Riley? Something was wrong. Her unease grew into fear, tightening her throat. She crossed to the cabins where the itinerant jackeroos bunked. Climbing the steps, she entered one of the four cabins. Inside were six bunks, each with its own bedside cabinet. Caitlin pulled out drawers, searching for any sign of habitation. Finding none, she left and ducked into the next. In this one, all the beds were made up and clothes hung about.

She went to the shower block and called in, but there was no sound. The rain was so heavy now it stung her face. She darted into another of the cabins for shelter. She was standing in the doorway wondering what to do next when she heard the sound of running feet splashing through the water.

She stepped out just in time to see Riley running past.

He saw her. He put his hand to his lips to silence her, and loped towards her. Caitlin’s heart began to thud hard. Riley had blood running down his face and he almost fell up the steps. He pulled her inside and collapsed on a bunk, gasping.

She reefed a tissue from her pocket. “You’re hurt. Riley, what happened?” She knew the answer as she dabbed at the blood trickling slowly from a wound on his forehead. His face looked pale as death beneath his tan and there was fear and confusion in his gaze. “There’s a mad bugger here, took a pot shot at me when I went to move the horses,” he whispered. “He’s out there now, looking for me.”

Caitlin’s heart dropped into her boots. Max.

“Let me see,” she said quietly. She gently wiped away the blood. With relief, she saw it wasn’t too bad. “I think it’s just a graze.”

He nodded dully as if in shock.

“Lie down for a bit, Riley,” she said.

Caitlin dropped onto her hands and knees and crawled to the window, peering out across the compound. Through the driving rain, she saw a figure disappear between two bungalows. He was carrying a rifle.

“You keep guns here, don’t you?” she asked. “Where?”

“In the office, up next to the canteen.”

“I’ll have to go and get a couple.”

Riley shook his head. “They’re padlocked in a cupboard. You’ll never find where the key’s kept.”

“Sure, I will. Just tell me.”

He shook his head again, wearily. “Too dangerous, Caitlin.”

“We can’t just hide here, Riley,” she said fiercely. “You need medical attention and the horses are going to be in trouble if this rain keeps up.”

“We won’t be of much help if we’re both dead, will we?” he asked, rather sensibly, she had to admit.

“I’ll make a bed for you on the floor behind a bunk. You’ll be safe while I get the guns.”

He climbed to his feet. “No. I’m coming too.”

Caitlin knew Max would head straight up to the house if he didn’t find them here. She wasn’t having that. “Let’s go, then,” she said urgently.

They darted back out into the rain. She followed Riley as he made for the office. Water seeped into her shoes making it difficult to hurry. Her soaked jeans flapped heavily around her legs. She wished her raincoat wasn’t such a bright yellow and considered taking it off. She found it hard to see where she was going through the pelting rain, but consoled herself with the idea that it would be difficult for Max, too.

Riley stumbled up the steps of a narrow, wooden frame building and she followed.

Caitlin peeled off her dripping mac as he threw open the cupboard doors. Inside on a pegboard hung a variety of keys. Selecting one, he went to a cabinet and unlocked the padlock. Inside were a stack of rifles like the one Harry had taught her to use. He removed two and picked up a box of shells.

“I know how to load it,” Caitlin said, taking some shells from him.

The gun still felt heavy and strange in her hands but she didn’t have time to worry about whether she would have the courage to use it.

Riley looked at her. “I feel better with this,” he said, “but what now?”

“We have to move the horses.”

“We’ll be sitting ducks.”

Caitlin shrugged. “We will be anyway.”

Riley put his hand to his head and shut his eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“I will be soon. Let’s go.”

The water was up to their ankles as they waded to the stables. The horses whinnied and shuffled about in their stalls.

“I’ll ride Thunderbolt and lead two others,” Riley said. “Can you ride Coke and lead the foal?”

“Yes, I think so,” she said, trying to disguise the tremble in her voice.

They saddled the nervous horses, silently keeping an eye out for anyone out in the compound, but the incessant rain and the rising water seemed to be the only movement.

By the time they’d mounted, the water was swirling around the horse’s legs. Columbine flicked her tail and whinnied. “Easy girl,” Caitlin said soothingly as she turned to check on the foal she was leading. Luckily, she was keen to keep up with the other horse.

Caitlin found it very difficult staying in the saddle as she led another horse, although Riley, despite his wound, did it with ease. She and the fidgety horses followed him up the steep rise. It became even more difficult on the slope. “I’m going to have to dismount and lead them, Riley,” she called out with dismay, feeling as if she was going to slide backwards off the wet saddle any minute.

“Hang on with your knees,” Riley called back. “You’re doing fine.”

She dug her knees into Columbine’s side and grimly followed him up the bush track.

“There’s an old barn up near the top paddock where they keep the children’s ponies. We can stable the horses there,” Riley yelled.

“If I make it,” she muttered. Her eyes hurt from peering through the rain and her thighs were beginning to cramp painfully. The anxious foal danced about and tugged on the lead. Caitlin felt the slick, leather rein slide through her fingers and tightened her grip.

They rode on. She kept searching, but there was no sign of Max. The hill and the dripping bush seemed endless, and there was a veritable waterfall at their feet. Finally, the land leveled out and she allowed herself a sigh of relief as they came to a fork in the track. She followed Riley and the three horses through deep mud, the bushes leaping back to scratch her face as the track narrowed into a tunnel of weeping vegetation. She had to flatten herself against Columbine’s neck as she took her beneath a low branch of a gum tree and ducked her face beneath her arm as more bristling shrubs lashed against her face.

Just as she was ready to scream in frustration, the track widened again and she saw the old barn in the centre of a clearing.

Riley got up a trot and, as if sensing their trip was coming to an end, Columbine and the bay joined in. They rode through the door into the interior stacked high with hay bales. The two ponies shuffled about and neighed in welcome.

“Thank God.” Caitlin almost fell off Columbine, her legs quivering like jelly and buckling beneath her.

Riley began to see to the horses and she joined in. They worked together silently until they’d made them secure. Only then, did Caitlin turn her attention to Riley. He looked bad. The wound had begun to bleed again.

“I feel a bit dizzy,” he said sheepishly. He collapsed onto a hay bale, his head in his hands. “I think I’d rather face that crazy guy than Jake, if I’d let his prize breeding stock drown.”

“I have to get you back to the house,” Caitlin said, kneeling beside him.

He shook his head. “I’ve had it. I’d be a liability. Let me rest here for a bit. You go and check on the kids. Don’t forget that gun.”

Caitlin headed back into the rain to the main track that led to the house. Where was Max? she wondered, as she stumbled over dead logs hidden in the grass. The soaring roof of Tall Trees appeared through the trees and she emerged into the upper paddock, holding her gun at the ready. She was terrified that she would find him in the house. The thought almost paralyzed her with fear.

The rain eased off a bit as she waded through the long grass, her eyes on the house. Smoke wafted from the kitchen chimney and it looked pretty peaceful through the misty rain.

She ran up onto the verandah. She couldn’t hear the children.

She crept to the door of her bedroom and opened it. It squeaked. Her heart pounding loud in her ears, she crept into the hall.

“There you are,” said Angela. “The kids are driving me crazy.”

“Angela. Where are the kids?”

“Playing with some wool in the kitchen.”

“We have to get away from the house. Help me get the children ready.”

“Why?”

“That madman is roaming around out there. He’s shot Riley.”

“I’m not going,” she said, sticking out her chin. “I have a gun and I know how to shoot it.”

Caitlin gathered up the children’s raincoats. “I’m taking the kids to the barn where their ponies are. They’ll be safe there.”

“For how long?”

The question brought Caitlin up short. They could hardly stay there for days without food.

“Until I find Max,” she said.

“And take him prisoner?” Angela said. Her commonsense was becoming annoying.

“We can’t watch this house. He could get in anywhere.”

Angela went to the window. “What if he’s out there now, watching for us?”

“Very well,” Caitlin said, picking up the gun. “I’ll go look for him. You keep a watch here.”

“Be careful,” Angela said grimly.

She felt better becoming the hunter instead of the hunted. She circumnavigated the house, checking every window. There was no sign of him. She couldn’t leave Riley alone out there. She was fired up by adrenaline and felt she could go all night if need be.

She moved in larger circles watching the fringe of bush for movement through the rain.

Her heart pounded as she approached the last fence. The dogs began barking excitedly in their enclosure. She swiveled, her gaze taking in the gardens, lawns and house. All clear. She headed uphill, in the direction of the frenzied barking, longing for normality, to return to the house, have a hot bath, and spend time with the children while Angela made them dinner.

She was a few meters from the enclosure when she heard him call her name.

She froze.

“Caitlin, please, it’s Max.”

She went into a crouch and aimed the rifle towards his voice.

And then she saw him. He sat in the long grass of the paddock just near the fence.

“I’ve been bitten by a snake.”

Max leaned back into the grass, his backpack lying beside him. His imploring, frightened eyes gazed up at her from his ashen face. She came to his side and kicked his rifle away, then knelt down to him. He had rolled up his trouser leg and there were two puncture wounds on his upper calf.

“The snake’s back there. I cut it up.”

She moved back to where the snake lay dead in the grass. It was a Brown. As she searched for a suitable branch, he began to rave. “It’s paradoxical. If you cut it in half, then in half again, in half again, it’s still—there.”

“But it can’t hurt you now,” she said beginning to peel a sturdy branch of its leaves. She reefed off the belt of her mac and began to wind it tightly around Max’s leg forming a brace, the way Harry had taught her. “How long ago did this happen?”

“About twenty minutes ago. Is it … too late?”

“I don’t know.”

“I was trying to find you.”

“Can you stand?”

“Yes … I think so.”

As Max pulled himself slowly to his feet, she put her arm around under his shoulders feeling his ribs. He’d grown painfully thin. Pity mixed with revulsion in her stomach, but she wasn’t afraid of him anymore. Her administrations were probably useless. The poison was already seeping through his veins heading for his heart. How long did he have?

“Do you think it was poisonous?”

She knew there was no antivenin within reach. “How did you get here, Max?”

“Got a lift with a truck driver just before the rain set in. I’ve been camping.” He touched his nose and giggled. “I avoided the town. No one saw me.”

“You, camping?”

“Thought I was doing okay until this.”

“Why couldn’t you just leave me be, Max?”

“This is your fault, Caitlin. None of this needed to happen.”

“Did you kill Blaine and Mary?”

He didn’t answer. The poison was already affecting his legs. She dragged him up onto the steps of the verandah, calling for Angela.

She came running. “Is that him?” she asked, surprised.

“Help us inside, will you? He’s been bitten by a snake.”

They laid Max out on the settee in the sitting room. Caitlin put a cushion under his head. “I’ll be back in a minute, Max.” Caitlin took Angela’s arm.

Outside in the hall, she whispered, “I think it’s a Brown snake.”

Angela’s lips tightened.

“I know he’s a dangerous madman,” Caitlin said, “But is there any chance of treating him with antivenin?”

Angela shook her head. “No likelihood of that. We can’t get him to town.”

“He can’t stay here in the house with the kids,” Caitlin said. “How about we put him out in Jake’s office? There’s a couch out there. We can lock him in so he’s no danger to anyone. But I doubt he will be. He’s pretty sick, isn’t he?”

Angela ran her hand through her hair, ruffling it. “On his last legs, I’d say.”

They went back into the room. Max was semi-conscious and mumbling, not making any sense. Caitlin caught her name and for a moment, she almost lost it. She didn’t have time to dwell on whether she could have handled things better. She decided that now was not the time to try to make sense of it. She would do her Christian duty by him.

When she and Angela managed to drag Max out to the office and settle him there, she motioned for Angela to come outside.

“He couldn’t be faking, could he? He is as bad as he looks?”

“He’s a goner,” Angela said. “I’ve seen it before.”

Caitlin handed her the rifle. “Can you keep the children in the kitchen and keep watch for a bit? I have to go and get Riley. He’s up with the horses in the barn.”

“Don’t be long. I might put the blighter out of his misery.” Angela went back into the house.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Chapter Sixteen

Riley was stretched out on the hay. He looked pale and weak, but his head wound had stopped bleeding.

“Let’s get you back to the house.”

“Have you seen anything of that mad bloke?” he asked anxiously.

She explained about Max and his brow cleared.

“That’ll fix him.”

“Can you walk?”

“Sure,” he said rising, but he wobbled a bit. “You carry the gun. It’s dangerous in the bush in these conditions.”

“Okay, let’s go.” The gun was heavy in her hands. She still didn’t feel at home with one.

They headed back into the bush up to their ankles in mud. They’d only gone a short distance when a snorting, stamping sound came from the bushes ahead and they began to sway about violently.

“Christ, that’s a wild boar,” said Riley.

“What do we do?” Caitlin cried.

“Climb a tree,” he yelled looking wildly around. “That one over there.”

They made for a sturdy tree with low branches and she helped him up. Before she could join him, he yelled, “Look out Caitlin, here it comes.”

She turned as the bristling gray boar burst out of the bushes, barreling along with its head down. Fear gripped her by the throat, turning her insides to water. He was only a few feet from her when she brought the gun up to her shoulder. She aimed, trying to remember what Harry had taught her. Aim at its body as if pointing a finger, he’d said. She knew she wouldn’t get a second shot and prayed aloud as she pulled the trigger.

The force of the gun threw her back against the tree, jarring her neck and banging her head.

At the sound of a loud squeal, she opened her eyes. The boar lay in its death throes almost at her feet.

“What a shot, straight into the chest,” Riley said as he climbed down. “I didn’t know you were a marksman.”

“I’m not. It was pure luck,” she laughed shakily, rubbing her head.

Riley looked up at her, his eyes filled with admiration. “I’m mighty glad to have you around, Caitlin. We can dine off him for days if we have to.”

Caitlin’s stomach heaved and she leaned over in the grass and vomited. She felt Riley’s hand on her back. “There you go girl, you’ll feel better now.”

She wiped her eyes and mouth on her shirt. She still had Max to deal with. “Let’s get back to the house.”

* * * *

When they reached the house, the children were playing on the verandah. “Caitlin, Angela said we were to wait here for you.” Elizabeth pulled at her sleeve. “There’s a sick man in Dad’s office.”

“Yes, I know, honey. You and William must stay here for a little bit longer. Don’t go out in the rain.”

They made their way through the kitchen to the office where Angela waited. “How is he?” Caitlin asked.

Angela shrugged. “Quiet.”

Caitlin went into the office. Max lie on his back his eyes half open. He was dead. “Oh, Max,” she said, beginning to sob at the futility of it all. “Why?”

She covered his face with a towel and went back to the kitchen. Angela was patching up Riley’s forehead.

“He’s gone,” Caitlin said, falling into a chair.

“Good riddance to bad rubbish,” Angela said sticking plaster over the bandage.

Caitlin couldn’t answer.

“You’ll be right soon, girl,” Angela said briskly. “A cuppa with a good dash of Brandy is what you need. What we all need,” she amended.

* * * *

The rain eased off in the night and by morning, the sky was clear. Caitlin was able to contact Jake by phone. “The airport should be open tomorrow if the rain holds off,” he said. “How are thing’s up there, I’ve been going crazy with worry.”

The reception was still so bad she could hardly hear him. “We’re all okay,” she said her voice ringing with false self-confidence. “I’ll fill you in when you arrive.”

After another dry night, they awoke to sunshine. Caitlin was relieved to see Riley looking much better. “There’s more rain coming, but the worst’s over,” he said. “I’m going to see to the horses.”

She took the children out for some air. It was hot and humid, the quickly drying earth steaming under the fierce sun. “If this keeps up, we’ll take your ponies out for some exercise in a day or so.”

“Yippee.” William danced around.

Caitlin smiled at Elizabeth. “And your Daddy is on his way home.”

Elizabeth slipped her small hand into Caitlin’s and smiled.

There would be a lot to do when the roads cleared and the men returned. The Burrawong police would have to be summoned to deal with Max. Until then, Riley and Caitlin had moved his body to a storage shed.

At midday, the Jeep pulled up and Harry jumped out. Caitlin raced out onto the drive and threw her arms around him. “Well,” he said, pleased. “Didn’t know I was so popular.”

She took him into the sitting room and sat him down. As she explained, his hands gripped the arms of his chair. “And I wasn’t here to protect you,” he said. There was a pause as he gave her a respectful glance. “But you didn’t need me, did you?”

“I couldn’t have done it without you, Harry,” she said. “If you hadn’t taught me how to ride and fire a rifle, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“I guess that’s true,” he said grinning.

It was odd. She felt some subtle shift in their friendship. Harry held himself away from her. It occurred to her that he was a rescuer, too. She’d been vulnerable and in trouble when she first came here, but she wasn’t anymore.

As she sorted this out in her mind, he rose. “I’ll handle the police if you like.”

She nodded. “That would be great, Harry.”

“I’d better go and see how Riley’s managing.”

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

As he turned back to her she said, “Thanks for being such a good mate.”

He doffed his hat. “Anytime, Caitlin.”

Later that afternoon, Jake’s plane appeared over the treetops. Caitlin sat with the children on the verandah waiting for him to arrive.

“Has that man in the shed gone to heaven like Mummy?” Elizabeth asked, squashing her small body against Caitlin’s.

It amazed Caitlin that Elizabeth knew so much, when they’d worked so hard to protect her from what was happening. “Yes, darling. He’s at peace now.”

“He might say hello to her, and tell her we’re okay.”

“I think your Mummy knows that you and William are fine, Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth’s little face gazed up at her. “Daddy said Mummy’s always with us.”

“I believe so, darling.”

An hour later, the Jeep drove up the drive and Caitlin had to hold the children back until it stopped. They rushed down the steps squealing to throw themselves at Jake.

Manacled, he came up onto the verandah, a hand on each of the children’s heads. Elizabeth was explaining in a scrambled fashion how a man had been bitten by a snake and died. And Caitlin shot a wild boar.

Jake’s alarmed blue eyes sought hers. “Perhaps you’d better let Caitlin tell me, Lizzie,” he said.

Caitlin opened the screen door. “Elizabeth, you and William ask Angela to put the kettle on for tea. And help her make the tea.”

“I’m sure you could do with some,” she said to Jake.

“Sounds like I’ll need something a good deal stronger.” He shut the front door and took her arm, leading her to the cane lounge setting on the verandah. Sitting down beside her, he said, “I’ll have it all, now, please.”

She feared he would hate her for bringing violence to Tall Trees, and her voice trembled as she explained what had happened.

Strangely, it was in the second telling that her emotions caught up with her. She began to sob.

Jake put his arm around her and drew her against him. Placing his hand under her chin, he lifted her face to look at him. “My God, you’re strong Caitlin. If I didn’t know better, I’d guess you were an Outback woman, born and bred.”

She saw warm admiration mixed with contrition in his eyes, as he handed her his handkerchief. “I’m sorry I left you alone here. I honestly didn’t think he’d have a chance of making it out here.”

“Max was more determined than most.”

Caitlin leaned against Jake’s chest breathing in that male smell that had set her pulse racing the first time she met him. She felt too exhausted to be anything but glad to be there. But he released her and stood up. “I think we’d better have that tea and then check the horses and … he shook his head, his eyes sad … everything else.”

“Jake, I know you must resent the danger I’ve brought to Tall Trees,” she said. “I still plan to get that bus, as soon as I can.”

He shook his head. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he said, “We’ll talk soon, when all this has been sorted out.”

Caitlin had to be content with that as she followed him into the kitchen.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Chapter Seventeen

Over the next few days, Caitlin saw little of Jake. He’d been with the men sorting out the damage done by the flooding. After the police had removed Max’s body, Mick drove her down to the town. She gave a statement to the police and arranged for the coffin to be sent to England. As she signed the papers, she wondered if Max’s parents would mourn him. Had they ever loved their son? Not according to Conor. In Max’s confused, sick mind, love meant obsessive control, and if the object of his obsession rejected him, then he would strike them down and anyone else who got in the way. She still wondered why he hadn’t killed her when he had her in his sights on that Dublin road.

When she returned to the house, she found the children drawing at the kitchen table. “Where’s Jake, do you know?” she asked Angela. She had sorted out her thoughts on the drive home.

Angela beckoned her outside. They stood at the backdoor, out of the earshot of the children.

“I saw him go up to the graveyard,” she said.

“I’ve never seen it, where is it?”

“Halfway up to the dam,” she said pointing. “Follow the track—you can’t miss it.”

“He wouldn’t want me there, I’d be intruding.”

“It’s time he put the past behind him.” Angela said pursing her lips. “Life is for living not mourning the dead.”

“I’ll wait until he comes back, Angela,” Caitlin said.

“As you wish.” Angela opened the screen door and disappeared inside.

Caitlin walked a little way up the hill. In the distance, she saw a copse of trees surrounded by an old iron fence. She could just make Jake out, bending down. She turned and walked back to the house.

That night after dinner, she joined him in the sitting room for a drink, the first time in weeks.

She watched him at the drink’s tray, he had a sorrowful air about him. Too little time had passed for him to be over his own personal tragedy, and now another death had come to Tall Trees. It didn’t matter that it was a man he never knew and would never have liked or understood.

“I have to go home, Jake,” she said, as he handed her the glass. “Back to Ireland. I have unfinished business there.”

She had thought about it long and hard. Running away from Dublin hadn’t solved anything. She had to go back to see Detective Cummins. She owed it to Blaine, and to Mary, if her death had been at Max’s hands. She needed to go home and see how she felt about being there, now that the threat that had poisoned her life was no longer present. And she needed to overcome her feelings for Jake.

Jake was watching her as if trying to read her thoughts. “You mustn’t blame yourself for anything that happened here.”

She didn’t answer—didn’t know what to say.

“No one was badly hurt, Caitlin. Except Max. And maybe his death saved more lives.”

“Yes. Thank you. I see that.”

“Do you really have to go?”

“I think it’s best, Jake.”

“And it won’t help to tell you again how much you’ll be missed?”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “It helps, but it won’t change anything.”

He took her glass. “Another?”

“Yes, please.” Tonight, she needed it.

“I plan to take the children to my mother’s for a few weeks.” He sighed, looking terribly tired. “While I’m there I’ll look for someone to take your place.”

“I’ll leave as soon as practicable.”

“You can come with us to Darwin and catch an International flight from there.”

“Thank you.” She felt there was much that both of them weren’t saying. Max’s death seemed to hang over them like a pall. She took a large gulp of Scotch, feeling the fiery liquid burn through her cold stomach, but it didn’t help her heart.

* * * *

Caitlin went to say goodbye to Harry and the boys.

“We’ll miss you, Caitlin,” said Wiley. “We need an Annie Oakley around these parts.”

“The more the merrier,” Mick said grinning.

As they went back to their work, Harry put his arms around her and kissed her on both cheeks. “I’m sorry to see you go,” he said drawing away, “but not near as sorry as Jake will be, I reckin.”

“He’s fine with it,” Caitlin said. “He’ll find another governess. Or maybe he won’t need one when he and Vanessa marry.”

Harry winked. “He’s coming out of that shell he’s been hiding in since his wife died. Vanessa will be the first casualty.”

“What makes you think so?”

“I’ve got eyes in my head.” He grinned. “We’ll take a bet on it.”

“How will I pay you?”

“When we meet next will be just fine. Twenty bucks. Shake.”

Caitlin laughed and shook his hand.

* * * *

Saying goodbye to Elizabeth and William was the hardest. It tore at Caitlin’s heart. Elizabeth wouldn’t let go until she’d extracted a promise that she would come back some time to see them.

Jake’s blue eyes searched hers. “Don’t forget us,” he said. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her. “I’ll miss you.”

“I will miss all of you,” Caitlin said, drawing away reluctantly, fighting tears. “The children promised to write to me.”

She handed her boarding pass to the flight attendant. Jake was still standing there. He said something to the children and they all waved her out of sight.

The jet rose over the turquoise sea with its hidden depths of ultramarine and violet. It banked and the sea disappeared, and with it, the end of her life at Tall Trees. She began to cry and suspected she would cry for most of the trip back to Ireland. She shrugged an apology at the gray-haired woman sitting next to her.

“Goodbye’s are hard,” the woman said.

Caitlin nodded. “Oh!”

“Is something wrong?”

“He said, I will miss you.”

The woman smiled. “That’s nice to know.”

Caitlin shook her head. “He used to say, we will miss you.”

“Ah.” The woman nodded sagely. “You’ll be coming back then.”

“He’ll have to come and get me.”

“That’s the way,” the woman said, giving her shoulder a pat.

Caitlin blew her nose. She glanced out the plane’s window at the thick bank of clouds. Land and water had disappeared. She wished she felt confident that he would.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Chapter Eighteen

Every day of the following month seemed to drag, despite Caitlin keeping herself very busy. The flat needed a thorough clean, the pantry and the refrigerator stocked. She took her winter clothes out of storage. She seemed to feel the cold more than she used to, and her winter wardrobe was sadly lacking, so she went shopping for a new overcoat, jumpers, pants and boots. The faulty heating in the flat needed to be fixed. She’d been to the work center to enquire about a teaching position, and had set up an interview for the following week. A phone call informed her that Detective Cummins had returned to work.

In the Guardia station, Detective Cummins pulled out a chair for her and offered her coffee.

When Caitlin declined, he sat down and opened a file. “I received your letter. I must thank you for your assistance. We have impounded and examined a silver sedan owned by the Haughton family. The results are conclusive.” He looked up at her. “There’s no doubt it was the car that ran Blaine Tremlow down and killed him.”

Caitlin took a deep breath as mixed emotions ran through her. “What about Mary Delaney?”

“The case has been reopened.”

“You’ll let me know if you learn anything new, Detective Cummins?”

“Indeed, I will.”

She left the Garda station thinking she must take Angela’s advice and get on with living, but her heart didn’t seem to be listening. It had begun to rain and she struggled to open her umbrella, remembering sunny skies, two children with sweet faces, and Jake.

* * * *

Caitlin left the bus and crossed the street to her apartment. She’d been at her new school for almost a month. She liked her class and began to make friends with some of the staff, but it was taking far longer to feel at home than she expected. She felt unaccountably lonely.

She faltered, at the sight of a tall figure waiting at the gate of her apartment building. Before he turned her way, she knew it was he. She found herself gasping, as if she’d been running. Was Vanessa here too? She steadied herself and continued to walk towards him.

Blue eyes smiled down at her. “Hello, Caitlin.”

“Hello. I’ve never seen you wear a suit,” she said, fighting to stay calm.

“Do you approve?”

He looked so good. Her gaze took in every loved detail, as if regaining her sight after a period of blindness. “What are you doing here in Dublin?”

“You promised to help me when I came to Dublin, remember? Aren’t you going to ask me in?”

“Of course.” Feeling herself blush, she took out her key.

He stood in her living room making the flat appear much smaller. “It’s good to see you,” he said, pulling off his black leather gloves.

“It’s good to see you, too.” She found she was still clutching her briefcase in her hand.

He laughed. “May I take off my coat?”

“Of course,” she said again. She took a steadying breath. “Let me take it for you.”

She resisted the urge to hold it to her nose before she hung it in the coat cupboard along with hers. She turned back to him nervously pushing back her hair.

She found him sitting on her sofa, his long legs stretched out over the rug. “Can I get you anything? she asked. “Tea? Coffee? I don’t have any Scotch.”

“It’s a little early for Scotch.” He raised his eyebrows. “Have you turned into a drinker?” He grinned, patting the sofa. “Come and tell me how you are.”

“I’m fine.” She sank down beside him. “How are the children?”

“They’re well. They’ve been missing you, particularly Elizabeth.”

“I’ve missed them, too.”

He reached out and took her hand. “Just the children?”

“And Angela, and Harry and Riley?” She removed her hand. She had to know. “How’s Vanessa?”

“Angela is fine. Harry’s started dating Deb from Burrawong. She used to go out with young Jimmy, but she always had a crush on Harry.”

Caitlin smiled. “I remember her.”

“Riley’s completely recovered and back at work. I haven’t seen Vanessa for a couple of months. We ended our relationship. Just after you left, actually.”

“I’m sorry,” she lied.

“Don’t be.”

“Maybe, I’m not that sorry.”

“Do you know,” he said firmly taking her hand again and kissing it, “I’ve wanted to make love to you from the very first moment I saw you.” He laughed at her gasp. “It caused me some very uncomfortable moments, I can tell you.”

“I thought you disapproved of me.”

He shook his head. “I felt like a heel. A lust-filled heel, every time I looked at you. And that green costume just about did it!”

“I felt the same about you,” she confessed. She laughed as a feeling of joy spread through her. She longed to hug him, but felt if she did she’d wake up and he’d disappear.

“I thought you were keen on Harry for a while.”

“No. Only you.” She felt calm now, except for the hot need for him, gathering force in her stomach.

He looked down at their hands still entwined. “I haven’t behaved particularly well, Caitlin, I’m afraid. I realized that I was using Vanessa. She didn’t break through my protective shell because I didn’t love her. And she knew. It made her pretty darn mad in the end, and I don’t blame her.

“The day you flew out of Australia, I left the kids with my mother and went to a pub. I was intent on getting drunk.” He looked up at her and the honesty in his blue eyes made her gasp. “But I met an eccentric old guy drinking at the bar. A bit of a philosopher. After a couple of drinks, I talked my head off. How I blamed myself for the accident, then as time went on and my grief lessened, I felt even worse. As if I wasn’t honoring her enough.” He shook his head. “The old guy quoted me a lot of complex philosophy, which I had to stay sober to grasp, but it was really just that he listened. Somehow, I left that bar feeling lighter than I had for a long time.”

“You have to come to terms with it. And give yourself permission to enjoy the rest of your life.”

“I knew you’d understand.” He smiled. “Because you’ve dealt with loss yourself. Caroline would want me to have a good life, as I would her, if it had been me who died in that crash.”

He took a deep breath. “My God,” he said. “What have we been waiting for?” He stood and pulled her to her feet. “I have to know if you want to come back, Caitlin.” He shrugged. “I’m too old for one-night stands. I want us to be forever.”

“Oh, you can count on that,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. His kiss felt just the way she thought it would in her dreams.

His arms tightened around her and his kisses grew more urgent. He pushed her gently away. “I don’t intend to act like an oaf. I intend to take you to dinner.”

“I’m not hungry,” she said placing her arms back around his neck.

“See what you do to me,” he whispered, pressing her close.

She thrilled at the feeling of his hard body against hers. She always knew in her heart that this was how love should be.

“Can I show you my bedroom?”

“That won’t be hard to find. You can’t swing a cat in this place.” He laughed and picked her up in his arms, carrying her down the hall. Once inside the bedroom, he put her down and kissed her again, his tongue searching her mouth, stoking the fire raging within her.

He unbuttoned her sweater and she helped, unzipping her skirt and stepping out of it. She stood before him in her white bra, knickers and suspender belt, wishing fleetingly that she’d worn her good, black underwear and sheer black stockings instead of serviceable opaque ones. But those thoughts quickly left her. She felt a new confidence when she met his gaze, thrilling at the raw, animal desire she found there.

Jake undid her bra and kissed her breasts, nuzzling each nipple gently with his tongue. She felt a hot sensation surge through her stomach and her need for him grew. Sweeping her up, he laid her on the bed. He pulled off her knickers. She covered herself with her hands, suddenly embarrassed.

He moved away her hands. “Let me look at you.”

Rising, he began removing his clothes without taking his eyes from her. His body was beautiful, long-limbed and muscular. She longed to stroke his smooth, olive skin. When she saw his erection, she shivered. Joining her again on the bed, his hands trailed over her body, melting away her apprehension and making her feel powerful. Instinctively, she slid her hand from his chest down over the flat plane of his stomach and lower, he felt like velvet and steel.

He moaned softly.

“I want you inside me,” she whispered unable to wait.

“No. Not yet, I want this to last.” He kissed her breasts and trailed soft kisses down over her stomach, until his lips found the throbbing nub at the apex of her thighs.

Caitlin was shocked by the intimacy of it. She opened her mouth to tell him he was the first, but was lost as his tongue produced wave upon wave of delicious pleasure. Then he rolled over on top of her and entered her, pushing into the moistness between her thighs, and it was too late. After a brief, tearing pain, she felt an amazing sense of completeness.

But he had stopped.

She saw the surprise in his eyes. “Darling, I’m the first?”

“Just love me,” she begged.

He groaned and began to move.

She met his rhythmic thrusts, lifting her hips as her passion mounted to such an exquisite pitch.

He shuddered uncontrollably and she felt warmth spreading through her stomach.

As Jake rested his head on her breasts, Caitlin slid her fingers into his thick, dark hair and lifted his head, needing to confirm that it had been as good for him as it was for her. “I’ll get better,” she promised.

“You’re perfect, my darling” he said, moving to lie beside her, “but why didn’t you tell me?”

“There never seemed to be a right time,” she confessed, feeling her cheeks grow hot.

He kissed her. “I was so afraid I’d lost you. It wasn’t something that could be said over the phone. I couldn’t get away until I found the right governess. I spent sleepless nights worrying that I’d left it too late and some other guy had snapped you up.”

“Never.”

“But at the same time I needed to get things straight in my head, and I knew you did too.”

Caitlin nodded and closed her eyes.

“Caitlin?” He shook her gently. I’m telling you how deeply in love with you I am.” He laughed. “I never thought I’d feel this way again.”

“I love you too, Jake, desperately.” She tucked her head into the hollow of his shoulder. “But I feel so lazy. Let’s have a rest and then make love again.”

Jake gathered her up in his arms. “Let’s go and have dinner. We need to make plans. And then,” he grinned, “we’ll come right back here where we belong, in your bed.”

Caitlin sat up. “I can’t wait to see the children. And Harry.”

Jake’s eyebrow rose. “Harry?”

“I owe him twenty dollars.” She laughed.

“You talk too much,” Jake said, pushing her back and kissing her, long and hard.

When she could, Caitlin gasped. “What about dinner?”

“We’ll have an early breakfast.”

“Mmm.”

The End

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Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

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