When I'm Weak: A Contemporary Christian Epic-Novel (The Grace Series Book 2)
Author: Stallings, Staci
Date: 2016-08-30

When I’m Weak

The Grace Series

Book Two

By:  Staci Stallings

KINDLE EDITION

~*~*~*~

Spirit Light Publishing

When I’m Weak

Copyright © 2015 by Staci Stallings

Cover Art by Marion Ueckermann

www.marionueckermann.net

Author’s Website
http://www.stacistallings.net

Kindle Edition License Notes

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only.  This eBook may not be resold or given away to other people.  If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with.  If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to eStore and purchase your own copy.  Thank you for respecting the author’s work.

Publisher’s Note:  This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

What Readers Are Saying About

“When I’m Weak”

Coming Soon!

Table of Contents

What Readers Are Saying

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Epilogue

Also Available from Staci Stallings

About the Author

*~*

To those who think they

“Have to be Strong,”

Peace is not found

In doing it all on your own.

Real peace is found

In realizing you can’t

And surrendering to the One

Who CAN!

*~*

When I’m Weak

Chapter 1

“And that’s a wrap! Thanks, everyone!” Jaycee Lawrence called over the crowded front lawn. Cameras, boom mics, and cords snaked in all directions, save for the direction where Derek West stood, hugging the grateful homeowners one last time.

“Thank you so much, Derek,” John Walters said, shaking her star’s hand like an old-time pump he was trying to get water from.

Derek. Smooth, cool, easy-going Derek just smiled under that thick scruff of whiskers that got all the girls’ hearts a-flutter. “It really did turn out beautifully.”

June Walters gave Derek a hug. “You are so amazing. I still can’t believe how incredible the kitchen is. I might never leave.”

“Well, I hope you leave sometimes,” Derek said with a laugh. “John here might get lonely.”

“Are you kidding? I’ll be in there with her!” John put his arm around his wife and hugged her to him. “We, really… we’re so grateful.”

Staying just slightly to the side and back out of the way, Jaycee waited. Soon enough Derek would tear himself away from the adulation and rejoin reality. She used to worry about that, jumping in to tell him they needed to go right away. Now she knew he knew that well enough, but he also understood the value of spending just a few more minutes after the cameras stopped rolling so the homeowners didn’t feel like they were just one more stop on his agenda.

“Thank you, too, Jaycee.” John came over and shook her hand though maybe not as enthusiastically.

“You’re so welcome. We hope you love it.”

“Oh, we will,” his wife said. “In fact, I already know what I’m going to make tonight.”

John looked at her. “Let’s go get started.”

They turned and waved their good-byes. With one more wave back at them, Jaycee looked up at Derek and patted him on the back. “Another miracle makeover. The ratings people are going to love it.”

He shrugged and smiled that smile that almost wasn’t as they started for the cars. The crew had already started the cleaning job that would take most of the next two hours. “Making dreams come true. That’s what we’re all about, right?”

She liked that about him. His focus. He got a job, did the job incredibly well, and was happy just to make others happy.

“So where’re we off to next?” He accepted a bottle of water from one of the assistants to an assistant and downed half of it in one chug before they even got to the car.

“Indiana.” Jaycee slid into the driver’s seat of the little white rental car they’d been using for the past six weeks and stowed the clipboard that was never far away in the backseat with the rest of her things. “Gary. It’s a cute little two-story with a dad and his daughter. The mom passed away a couple years ago. They’re still trying to recover, move on, you know?” She started the car and headed out of the little neighborhood for the last time, bound for the airport. If they were lucky, they’d be in Gary early enough to get some decent food and maybe even a good night’s sleep.

“Kitchen? Family room?” He finished the water and eased back into the seat. She couldn’t blame him for being exhausted. He’d been working night and day on this last remodel, and like most of them it had gone right down to the wire.

“Basement and maybe the master.” Glancing both directions, she turned out onto the four-lane and checked the direction on the GPS. North. Good. At least she wouldn’t get them hopelessly lost this time. Driving had been one of the most challenging parts of this job at first, that and keeping her heart in check every time Derek West walked into the room.

Nobody had to tell her why he was such a hit on the Home & Hearth Channel. Tall, with massively good looks. Just the right amount of build. Kind. Affable. Hard-working. He was the guy every woman in America wanted in her kitchen. The fact that she got to work with him nearly round the clock and up-close-and-personal had not been lost on her heart for the first several months, but eventually, they had settled into an easy rhythm and she couldn’t be upset about that. After all, she, more than anyone, knew Derek West was not the kind of guy who would ever settle down with someone. Oh, no. He had hot dates lined up from one coast to the other, and Jaycee had finally accepted that none of those dates would ever include her. As they sped out onto the freeway, she looked over at him because he hadn’t replied, and sure enough, he was already sleeping.

She wasn’t even going to count how many hours of sleep he had missed the last three nights. The job had been going so well, and then the pipe behind the sink ruptured, and after that, well, it was all kind of a blur to her as well.

Her cell phone beeped, and she dug for it in her purse on the console between them, finally coming up with it just as another motorist honked his displeasure with her driving. “Pick a lane,” she said to the car in front of her. With Derek sleeping, she didn’t want to use the speaker phone, so she swiped it on and put it to her ear. “Jaycee Lawrence.”

“Jaycee. I’m glad I caught you. Listen, we’ve decided to bump up production on the Smith house.”

“Bump it up? Brent? You can’t be serious.” With only one hand on the wheel, she maneuvered into the split lane veering off to the right. “Derek is done for. Seriously. He needs a few days.”

“Days he doesn’t have. Tell you what. It’s Thursday. If you guys can be at the Smith house in the morning to do the initial run through, he can take Saturday and Sunday off. How’s that?”

Gee, thanks for your magnanimous generosity. She wanted to say it, but she didn’t. “Can we at least make it ten tomorrow? We’re going to be lucky to get there tonight at any decent hour.”

Another horn honked, and she struggled to keep her nerves in check.

“Fine. Ten, but don’t be late.”

“When have I ever been late, Brent? Will it be Elle or Katie?”

“Elle is setting this one up. I’ve already got Katie scouting in Nevada. I thought that would be a nice change of pace. We haven’t done anything in Nevada yet.”

Jaycee couldn’t think about Nevada. Indiana was taxing her coping mechanisms. In fact, if they made it to the airport alive, she was going to celebrate. “Okay, listen, Brent, I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“All right. Have a safe flight.”

And with that, she beeped the phone off and flipped it onto her purse.

In the other seat Derek shifted and opened one eye. “Brent?”

“Yeah.” However, Jaycee shook her head as her gaze took in all the traffic. “We’ll talk about it later.” She glanced over at him. “Get some sleep.”

“Hm. Okay.” And it was clear he was already there.

The airport wasn’t much better than the traffic, and Derek was glad he had a trail guide who would chop down the Amazon to get him where he needed to be on time. It was nice not to have to worry about things like flights and schedules, tickets and when he would eat. Mostly he just worked and let her take care of the details of living.

“I figured we could grab something quick for a late lunch,” Jaycee said as they stood in the line taking off their shoes and pulling everything out of their pockets. This part had at first been awkward, but they had done it so many times, now it was just routine.

Derek flipped his wallet into the little gray plastic container and added his boots and belt too. “Okay but nothing with grease. Whatever those burgers were the guys brought in last night… wow.”

Stepping into and then through the scanner, he collected his things back on the other side.

“That was not my fault,” Jaycee said, stepping through the scanner and being cleared to continue. “I told you we should’ve ordered Chinese.”

“And you were right as usual.” He put one terracotta-colored Chukka boot on and then the other before grabbing his belt and putting the rest of himself back together.

Jaycee was on the other side doing much the same thing except with bracelets and her watch, her clipboard, purse, tablet case and boots, she didn’t get put back together quite so easily. He was ready and waiting long before she was. Finally, she strode over to him attaché in one hand, purse in the other. “Kendall said the proofs from the photo shoot came in,” she said as he turned to follow her up the concourse. “I thought maybe we could look at them on the plane.”

“Are any of them worth anything? I still think we should have postponed that one. I felt like I was going to die that day.”

“You don’t have to remind me. I was there, remember?”

At Gate 15, they stopped to check all the pertinent information on the little board. When Jaycee was satisfied that everything was on-schedule and correct, she let out a hard sigh. “So, something to eat. A sandwich? There’s bar-be-que down the way I think.”

“How about a steak?”

She appraised him with one slow nod. “How about when we get to Gary?”

Derek put his head back. “Fine. Then I guess a sandwich.”

With no more discussion, they headed back the way they had come. “You know, I really think that last stand-up with the Walters went well,” she said as they walked. “Mrs. Walters loved that pull down faucet on her sink.”

“Oh, you noticed that too, huh?” At the door to the first little restaurant they came to, he opened it and held it for her.

Once inside she ordered up the table, and they were seated in the dimly lit area over by the bar. It was 3:15 in the afternoon, so it wasn’t like the place was hopping.

Taking his menu, Derek blinked his eyes wider. “Wow. Either they don’t want you to see the menu or the prices. What is up with the lighting in this place?” He looked up and frowned. “Well, no wonder, they’ve got three lights out, and this overhead is doing nothing but creating ambiance if you want to call it that.”

Jaycee shook her head. “Do you ever stop? Seriously? Can’t you walk into a single space without figuring out how you would redo it if you got the chance?”

His smile was sheepish. “Sorry. Habit I guess.”

She perused the menu. “What sounds good?”

“I told you. Steak.”

“And I told you we’ll do steak when we get to Gary.” She reached over and snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Focus. This is lunch. Remember?”

“Well, if I had gotten more than three hours of sleep, or if there was maybe more light on the subject…”

With that, Jaycee reached down into her purse and pulled out her cell phone. She snapped it on, the light coming on with the intensity of a backlit computer. “There.” In one motion she handed it to him. “Happy now.”

Derek angled the light at his menu. “Oh, wow, look. They have steak.”

Letting her shoulders slump, Jaycee gave up. “Fine. What do you want with your steak?”

In no time they were on the plane winging northward over corn fields and the little towns that dotted the Midwest. Destination O’Hare International in Chicago which Jaycee was still trying not to think about. She pulled out her NotePad and swiped at it to bring up the photo shoot proofs marketing had sent over.

“There were a couple of these I thought were pretty good,” she said, swiping some more. “Like this one. I like the leaning back thing.”

Derek took one look at it and grimaced.

“Bad?” she asked, gauging his reaction.

He shook his head. “You know I hate this stuff.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sorry, but Brent wants your opinion. It’s your show as you keep reminding everyone within earshot.”

“I know, but I’m a contractor not a male model. This stuff is just weird.” He took the thing from her and swiped through the pictures. Most of them he couldn’t have even seen because he went too fast. “Bad. No. Hate it. Yuck.” Holding it out, he contorted his face. “Seriously? I look like I just ate a lemon.”

Reaching for it, she took it back and went back a couple. “They are not that bad. Look. This one’s good with the sledgehammer. Makes you look all macho and tough.”

“Okay. That one’s not so bad. But these others? What is this one?” He crossed his arms like he had them in the picture and put a haughty look on his face. “I look like the unhappy librarian right before closing time.”

Jaycee laughed at his theatrics. “It’s a good thing the marketing team can’t hear you. They would fold up their tents and go home. We only spent half a day on these. Now come on. We’ve got to narrow this down to like five or six they can use for the promos.”

With a sigh, Derek took the little device back and started swiping through them again.

“That one’s okay,” Jaycee said, leaning over his shoulder to see. “I like the fence with the black background.”

“It’s not too bad I guess,” he admitted without enthusiasm.

“And I like this close up.”

“Really? I look like I’m trying out for a soap opera.”

“I guess you could be the handyman,” she teased. “I could mention it to Brent.”

Instantly Derek sat up, wide-eyed. “Don’t you dare even think about doing that. You do and I will so kill you and bury your body so no one will ever find it.”

Biting her lips to keep from laughing out loud, Jaycee ducked even as she looked around. “Shhh. Other people will hear you.”

He gave her a hard, angry look. “Yeah? Well, it would serve you right.”

“Oh.” She sat up again. “By the way, I was going to mention. They called from marketing, and one of the syndicated radio talk shows called.” With a brush, she ran her hand through the air. “Totally a fishing expedition to see if you’d like to do their show. I told marketing I’d run it by you.”

“A radio show?” he asked dubiously. “What would we talk about?”

“I’m guessing your meteoric rise to the top of the remodeling world. Either that or the host’s leaky faucet and how to fix it. Could go either way.”

“Ha. Ha.” Tiring of the task of looking at himself, Derek handed her the NotePad back. A second and he leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.

Surprise jumped on her. “What? Aren’t you going to help me pick something?”

“You pick. I don’t care. Just not the one with the lemon face.”

Swallowing her sigh, Jaycee sat back in her own seat. Yes, she thought sarcastically to the part of her that registered frustration, she had such a hard life. Staring at a handsome guy who could sweep any girl he wanted to off her feet. Yes, yes, she had the hardest job in America.

And with that, she pulled out her notebook and set about choosing the pictures he would have chosen if he was actually choosing them himself.

O’Hare turned out to be a madhouse. Jaycee had known it would be, but still she had hoped. “I wish we could get a cab.”

“To go to Gary?” Derek followed her from the baggage claim to the car rental counter. “What would that cost like a million bucks?”

“I said I wish. Then again, it might be worth it.” She stepped up and explained what they needed to the rental car attendant. Thankfully Derek wasn’t the hard-to-please type. Four wheels that wouldn’t break down and that was good enough for him.

While the attendant punched in the information, Jaycee dragged her purse back up to her shoulder and checked her watch. “I knew that layover was a bad idea. Traffic is going to be a nightmare.”

Standing there, with the black shoulder strapped bag dangling from his shoulder, Derek put his hands in his pockets and smiled and nodded to a few people who passed by. Instantly they ducked behind their hands as they stared.

“Here we are, Ms. Lawrence,” the attendant said. “I just need your signature. Here. Here. And here. And then, here as well.”

She fought to keep the purse strap on her shoulder as she juggled the attaché. No one would ever be able to read this signature. “Done.”

The attendant nodded. “The shuttle outside will take you to the car lot.”

“Thanks.” Jaycee reached down and retrieved the handle of her rolling suitcase. “Okay. All set.” It was interesting how normal the odd looks had become from others in airports and everywhere else they went. Outside and with him trailing her, she checked one way and then the other before heading down to the little green van. Getting in, she looked at her watch again. “It’s going to be eight o’clock even if we’re lucky. I sure hope Elle has the hotel thing all ironed out. In fact…” She scooted over for him to follow. With difficulty, she dug the cell phone out and placed the call. “Elle, hey, this is Jaycee. Yeah, we just landed. Can you give me the address for the hotel? K. Yeah. Hold on.”

The juggling continued as she fished for a paper and a pen, knowing she should have had those ready. “Yeah. Okay.”

With a screech the van pulled out into traffic, sending Jaycee careening right into Derek’s shoulder.

“Ugh. Crud. Sorry,” she said and scooted farther over. “Yeah. I’m here. Okay. What is it?”

Chicago traffic proved even more challenging than Jaycee had anticipated. The GPS system on the little car kept saying, “Turn left in 500 feet” because they had sat in the exact same spot for ten minutes.

“I know that!” Jaycee finally said to the thing. “Will you shut up already?”

With concern, Derek looked over at her. “How much coffee did you have this morning?”

She glared at him. “Clearly not enough.” Coming up, she hit the horn. “Come on, people! Move already!” Frustration stacked on top of her as around the seatbelt, she put her head onto her fist that was propped there at the top of her elbow on the windowsill. “I do not believe this. We’re never going to get there.”

“So, what’s the rush?” He stretched out his long, jean-clad legs and crossed his arms. “You late for a hot date or something?”

Corralling her frustration with life so she didn’t outright growl at him, Jaycee reached down and flipped on the air. “No. I was hoping to have some time to get out of these clothes.” She angled her nose down to her shirt. “I’m not even sure I changed this morning.”

He leaned over and took a sniff as well. “Probably not.”

“Ha. Ha.”

With a tip of his head, he smiled at her. “Seriously. You should learn to chill a little. Look around. It’s a beautiful day. We’re in Chicago, the windy city on a day that’s not even windy. You don’t think that’s something to enjoy?”

Enjoy? That word was not a word in her life’s vocabulary at the moment. “I just want to get to the Interstate and out of this wall-to-wall nightmare. Is that really so much to ask? Come on!” She honked at the guy cutting right into her lane. “Are you kidding me? Where did you learn to drive?”

One eye on her, Derek reached over and hit the radio button. “Maybe some music would help.”

“Not likely.” Still she watched his arm, brushed with just the right amount of glistening hair. Masculine. Did every part of him have to scream that word so loudly? She re-anchored her gaze outside and forced a calming breath into her lungs as thankfully she made the final turn. “Yes. The Interstate. Finally.”

Next to her Derek bobbed his head to the beat. “I love this song.”

It would’ve been nice to have a song to love or to have heard a song in the past year. Unfortunately, songs in her world were few and far between.

“Two rooms for Starr Productions,” Jaycee said when she tumbled up to the extended stay hotel counter barely making it before she dropped everything. “I think Elle Peterson already booked them?”

“Let’s see here.”

It was then that Jaycee noticed Derek hadn’t followed her all the way to the counter. In fact, he was no longer even behind her. In concern, she scanned the lobby and found him, chatting up a cute blonde who sat on one of the comfortable-looking couches.

Fighting the annoyance, Jaycee tugged at the slightly-rounded bottom of her blouse and then resettled the strap of her purse on her shoulder. He’s a grown man, Jayc. He can do whatever he wants.

“Ah, yes. Here it is. Ms. Peterson is in 515 in the tower, and the other two rooms are adjacent to that. 517 and 519.”

“Excellent.” Three more signatures, and Jaycee was ready to call it a life and die. “Thank you very much.”

“We hope you enjoy your stay with us.”

“Oh, I’m sure we will.” She accepted the little credit-card looking key things, gathered up all of her belongings one last time and with a sigh to get herself moving again, headed over to the two now chatting away as if they had been friends forever. It wasn’t easy to smile at the woman, but Jaycee did so anyway. Then she looked up at Derek. “Here’s your key-card. We’re up in the tower.”

“Oh, great. Thanks.” He accepted the card and shoved it in his pocket. “Jaycee, this is…” He looked at the woman who Jaycee now saw had a small waist cinched with a tiny belt and jewelry dripping from every limb.

“Bree,” she said with a thick Wisconsin accent.

Derek smiled his approval. “Bree. Right.” Then he turned his attention solely on Bree. “Listen, I’ll be back down in about 30 minutes if you don’t mind waiting?”

Wanting to crawl into a hole somebody else had dug, Jaycee fought to not put her head down although she did wind her lips under her teeth to keep from screaming. Humiliation drained through every pore of her whole body, and she could not stop the sigh.

“Great,” Derek said, touching Bree’s arm, and Jaycee didn’t miss the wink he gave the woman. “It won’t take me long.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

I’ll be waiting, Jaycee wanted to mimic. Ugh, could the woman be any more transparently coquettish? Even Jaycee was embarrassed for her. “Are we going now?”

Derek looked down at her as if he’d forgotten she was standing there. “Ready when you are.”

It took less time than even he had thought it would, and Derek West, shined up and polished, headed out for his night on the town with Bree Whatever-Her-Last-Name-Was. She was hot. That’s really all that mattered.

Coming out of the hotel room, he glanced down the hallway at Jaycee’s door and thought about knocking to tell her where he was going and not to wait up. However, she had things to do, and he didn’t want to disturb her. With a check for his wallet and his room key, he headed out. Maybe Gary, Indiana wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Chapter 2

The pillow-covered king sized bed was a welcome relief to find when Jaycee got out of the shower, her light brown locks now wet and tumbling down her shoulders. She wasn’t sure she had so much as bothered to check it when she had come in. A yawn attacked her as she glanced at the clock on the nightstand. Just after eight.

Really, she should call Elle so they could go over the prelims. Probably she should also call for room service. She was sure Derek was taking care of his own meal with Bree at a dimly-lit, undisclosed location, and Jaycee batted that image out of her head.

However, instead of doing all the things she should be doing, she flopped onto the bed and pulled out her cell phone. The number was on speed dial, and she rolled over and put her wrist on her forehead as it rang.

“Hello?” her sister’s sweet voice came over the airwaves, and with one breath, Jaycee felt better.

“Hey.” She couldn’t stop the homesick sound of her voice though she did, honestly, try.

“Hey,” Sage said softly. “How’re you doing?”

“Okay.” It was a lie, and they both knew it.

“Where are you these days? Did y’all finish the one in Texas?”

“This morning. We’re in Gary, Indiana now.” Jaycee rolled back onto her stomach and picked one little string off the chocolate brown comforter and flipped it to the floor. “Just got here. I’m trying to figure out if I should call room service or just crawl under the covers and quit.”

“Oh, girl. No. Don’t say that. You’re great at what you do.”

Jaycee heard the commotion in the background, and her heart smiled for her. “How’re Luke and the kids?”

“Good. The twins start back to school in a week. That is just so hard for me to believe.”

This smile was even softer. Jeremiah and Andrew, her two favorite guys in the world. “How’s Macy?”

“Growing like a weed. If you don’t get here to see her soon, she’s already going to be crawling. Luke said she’s one push away from rolling over already.”

“And Livvie?”

“She’ll be three in a month. Can you even believe that? I mean, where does the time go?” Sage’s voice faded out for a second. “Yeah, just put them on the changing table. I’ll get them later.”

Jaycee’s heart twisted. “That Luke?”

“Yeah. He’s putting in cabinets for Mrs. Rodriguez up town. They turned out really good.”

“That’s awesome.” Really, she was happy for her sister and her brother-in-law. They were the perfect couple, always had been, and maybe that was part of what made thinking about them so hard. “I guess you’re bouncing back from having that baby?”

“Trying to. I’m telling you, the older I get the harder that is. Chasing four kids around all day doesn’t leave much time for Pilates and Fit Camp I’ll tell you that for sure.”

“Ah, I bet you look gorgeous.”

“Well, the only reason you say that is because you can’t see me over the phone, but I’ll take it.”

Thinking too deeply about home was dangerous, but Jaycee knew she needed to ask. “How’re Mom and Dad?”

“Oh, good. Good. We saw them after church on Sunday. They came over for chicken.”

Crazy how much like an arrow that felt. Jaycee wondered as she lay there how long it had been since she had stepped a foot in a church. “And Ryder?”

“One more semester, and he’ll be headed to grad school.” Sage’s end went silent for a moment. “How are you doing, really, Jayc? You sound so tired.”

“Oh, you know. Hotels and trying to keep everything going. It’s a living.”

“And you haven’t met anyone? I mean, I know we talked about this last time, and everything.”

Acceptance washed over Jaycee. “No. I haven’t met anyone unless you count Derek who doesn’t even know I’m on the planet.”

“Maybe you should forget a reservation. I bet he’d notice that.”

“Eh. He’d probably sleep in a ditch somewhere and someone would trip over him and hand him a million dollars.”

“That bad, huh?”

Jaycee sighed. “No. Not really. I just… You know, part of me thinks I should just quit. Get a normal job with a normal life and see where that takes me.”

“Do you want to do that?”

“I don’t know. But I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Can you imagine me in one place for five minutes? I’d go crazy.”

“Yeah, but you sound so miserable.”

“Wow. I went from tired to miserable in two minutes.” Jaycee laughed. “That escalated quickly.”

Sage sighed. “I just hate it that you’re not happy.”

“Yeah, well, maybe happiness is overrated. Maybe life’s just about surviving until you die.”

“Jayc…”

“Listen, Sage. I’ve really got to get some food in me before I pass out here or explode from this headache. I’ll call you again soon.”

“Promise?” Her sister sounded so worried.

“I promise. Talk to you soon.”

“Okay. And Jaycee?”

“Yeah?”

“Take care of yourself, okay?”

Soft love touched her heart. “I’ll try.”

“I’ll be praying for you.”

“Thanks.”

The night club was practically bouncing off its foundation when Derek and Bree made at just after nine. This was just what he needed, time to unwind and just forget life.

“There’s a table over here,” Bree yelled over the music, and taking her hand, he let her lead.

Her yellow dress and the sway of her hips was all he needed. He would have followed her right off the end of the earth.

True to form, Jaycee was up with the sun. She dressed in her black chiffon, double-layered blouse with the three-quarter length split sleeves and the dark gray pencil skirt. They wouldn’t be doing any actual work today, so that should be safe. Plus, she wanted to make a good impression with the new homeowners.

“What were their names again?” She pulled the notes Elle had emailed over the night before up on her NotePad. “Smith. Wow. That was hard, Jayc. This should be a great day.”

However, snapping herself out of that, she slipped on her short gray boots and zipped them up. One tug in each direction to secure her ponytail on the back of her head, and she looked at herself in the mirror. “Yuck. No wonder guys run the other direction.”

The harsh black glasses she had worn since high school set off both her eyes and her don’t-mess-with-me attitude. Still as she tugged at the shirt and tipped her head at her reflection, she thought it might be nice if someone at least noticed her. “Seriously, Jaycee. Get over that already. You’ve got a job to do. Let’s do it.”

Attaché, NotePad, and purse, Jaycee showed up at Derek’s door at 8:15. He opened the door as he rolled up the cuffs of the sky-blue-with-white-pinstripes button down shirt. “Almost ready.”

Going back in, he realized she hadn’t followed, and he went back and kicked at the door. “You can come in. You don’t have to stand in the hall. I’ve just gotta throw my boots on right quick.” Sitting on the little bench that stood at the foot of the already-made bed, he pulled on the black cowboy boots he wore more than anything else.

“I figured we could do breakfast down stairs. It’s continental if that works.”

Derek glanced up at her and nodded. “Sounds good to me. What time are we supposed to be there?”

“Ten. So we have a little time.”

“Good deal.” He grabbed his watch from the television stand and then added his wallet to his back pocket and the little key card to his front pocket.

Jaycee lifted her eyebrows. “Ready?”

“Guess so.” At the door, he opened it, and she stepped out, turning slightly as he followed her. In the hallway, he raked his fingers through his longish gelled-back brown hair. “You get some sleep?”

“Some.” Down the hall, she punched the button at the elevator, and her gaze bounced over to him and then back to the button. “You?”

He half-shrugged. “You know me. I don’t need a lot of sleep. But it was nice not to have to be out there at six.” The elevator dinged, and they got on. “So do we have Caleb’s crew this time?”

“Uh.” One lift of her list, and she nodded. “Yeah. They should be setting up by tomorrow. I’m hoping we can go in today and just scope things out, get a feel for what stand-ups we’re going to need—especially from the homeowners.”

Nodding, he put his hand out to hold the doors open when they slid to the side, letting her disembark first.

“Elle said they’re really great, but apparently it’s been a tough few years.”

Side-by-side, they entered the little dining area, and each went about collecting their own breakfast. Waffles and bacon for him; cereal and a banana for her. In no time, they were sitting by the little window with the white dividers that looked out onto the busy street beyond.

Derek shook out the sugar packet and added some to his coffee. “So what’s the story on this one?”

“Sad deal.” Jaycee added milk to her cereal. “The mom was killed in a drunk driving accident about five years ago. Head-on, I think. At least that’s what I gathered. The two of them were left, him and the daughter.”

“And his name is?”

“Gene… Smith. Daughter’s name is Kathleen. Wife’s name was Kathy. I’m guessing they put the two names together for hers, but that’s just a guess.”

“So Mom is gone.” He took a sip of the coffee and proceeded to cut into his waffle. “What’s up with the house? Why the remodel?”

“Well, Kathleen, the daughter, just started college, and from what I gather, Dad is on the overprotective side.” Crunching on the cereal and flipping through her notes, she ran her finger down the list and stopped on one bullet point. “Says he wants her to go to bed at 10. I thought that would be a cute B-roll, him telling her to get to bed and her frustrated.”

Thinking through that Derek nodded. “Every teenager in America can relate.”

Jaycee laughed. “And every parent. Basically, they want to convert the downstairs to an apartment. One bedroom with a kitchen, bath, and maybe a little dining area. Of course, Kathleen wants to be able to have friends over and not disturb Dad upstairs.”

“So sound proofing the ceiling.”

She nodded. “Elle thinks the plumbing lines from upstairs can be run down pretty easily.”

“Is the basement finished?”

“Uh. I think so.”

Chewing on the bacon, he nodded. “Sounds easy enough.”

“That’s what scares me.”

He laughed. “What does that mean?”

“It’s always the easy ones we get blind-sided by.”

Derek shrugged and drank more coffee. “Houses are like women. Every one has its own unique set of issues.”

Her face fell into disbelief. “Oh, yeah? What’s that, Freud?”

“Experience,” he said over his cup. “Lots of experience.”

They arrived at the Smith house with ten minutes to spare. Jaycee parked at the curb, knowing that although it looked calm now, in three days this whole place would be a mass of humanity. One breath to calm the nerves as she shut off the car, she looked over at him. “You ready?”

“Let’s do this thing.”

With that, she popped the handle and got out into the already warm morning. Straightening her skirt and blouse, she retrieved her things from the car, stood, and met him around on the other side. “One, two, three.”

Together they went up the walk and up onto the white columned porch where Derek rang the doorbell. The wait was longer than either of them anticipated, and he looked up at the soffit. “You sure this is the right place?”

Just as Jaycee went to dig for the address again, the door opened.

“Gene?” Derek asked the tall balding man who answered. “I’m Derek West and this is Jaycee Lawrence. We’re from Star Productions?”

It was strange how closely the man looked to tears. “Yes. We’ve been expecting you.” He opened the door wider. “Please come in.”

Stepping in, Derek only went a couple steps before holding out his hand to the gentleman. “Derek West.”

“Gene Smith.” Then he indicated the young lady who had stepped up from behind them. “And this is my daughter, Kathleen.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Derek said, shaking her hand.

“I can’t believe you’re actually here.” Kathleen’s green eyes were like saucers as she stared at him. “I thought Dad was joking.”

Derek smiled that gentle amused smile. “No. No joking. We’re actually here. I hear you’ve got a basement that needs some TLC.”

“Oh, my gosh!” Kathleen jumped past them and into her father’s arms. “Daddy, you’re the best.”

Jaycee was trying to keep up with the emotions, noting the tears in Gene’s eyes as he held his daughter.

“You know I love you, baby,” he said to his daughter, and when Jaycee glanced over at Derek, his head was tilted in genuine compassion.

“I love you, too, Daddy.”

With a sniff but not letting her go, Gene looked over at Derek. “Let’s go see this basement.”

The basement turned out to be a rather large unfinished space that was mostly dry walled except for the laundry area and the patch under the stairs. Keeping her eye on Derek as he surveyed and got a feel for the space, Jaycee engaged the homeowners, gently looking for angles and insights.

“So tell me about the house,” she said. “How long have you owned it?”

“Nine years,” Gene said. “My wife and I bought it when Kathleen was only about yay-big.” He put his hand down. “The idea was always that we’d finish this out for Kathy’s art studio, but clearly that never happened.”

“And what are you hoping?” She had learned to let Derek have some time alone with the first inspection. He was like the house whisperer or something, but she’d never really been daring enough to ask just what he was looking for when he did this. Just the same, he walked along the walls, touching every so often, inspecting up and down, kicking the floor, dipping his head this way and that. She was fascinated but needed to keep the homeowners from interrupting or distracting him. “So you bought it? First house?”

“Second. We had a little starter place, but when Kathleen came along, we outgrew that one. By the time she was in third grade, her stuff was everywhere, and we had to upgrade.”

“I did not have my stuff everywhere.”

“Oh, yeah? Remember the dining room? We couldn’t even eat on the table anymore.”

“Well, that is kind of true,” Kathleen said. She was a slight girl, young looking even for her age with long red hair and deep green eyes.

“And you’re going to school now?” Jaycee asked, making notes as they talked.

“Yeah.” The girl glanced at her father. “I didn’t want to just up and leave him here, but it would be nice to have my own space so I can do my own thing but still be close.”

“It will be strange even with her down here, but at least she won’t be far away.” He looked at his daughter, and the tears that were never far from the surface came up again. Then he ducked and looked sheepishly at Jaycee. “I’m sorry. Just tough to think how fast she’s growing up on me.”

If this translated to film, Elle is a genius.

“Well, I think it’s pretty clear you’ve done a great job. She seems to be very grounded and caring.”

“She is that.”

Derek ambled back over to them, and Jaycee had to bite her tongue not to ask.

“Looks doable,” Derek said. “What’re you thinking? I thought the bedroom maybe along that wall. It’s got the window, which will get it to code. Then maybe the bathroom over there. We could do a Jack-and-Rachel style with one door to the bedroom and one to out here, so guests could use it and not have to be going through your room. But then if you wanted it, you could just lock the public door.”

Kathleen nodded. “I like that.”

“Then of course in here, we could do a seating area here with a television and a couch and a couple of chairs. What do you think of celery green?”

“I love it,” Kathleen said.

Jaycee made a note of that without comment.

“I think we can run the water from the laundry area to the kitchen. That shouldn’t be a problem. And I was thinking about maybe walling off the laundry, so Gene, if you’re doing laundry, you won’t be in Kathleen’s space and she won’t be in yours. Of course, you’ll have access to it as well.” He went to the opposite side. “I’m thinking we wall off like right here and put in what will basically be an exterior door for privacy in the apartment.”

“I love it,” Kathleen said, looking at her father who smiled down at her.

“As long as Kathleen likes it, so do I.”

This was going to be an awesome episode. Jaycee could already picture it.

“Okay, so tell me,” Jaycee said when they were in the car, headed back to the hotel.

Derek mashed his face in concern. “There’s some water spots back in the corner where the bedroom will be, and the drywall is kind of spongy like it’s been wet.”

“And?”

“Well, clearly we’re going to have to take the ceiling down and soundproof it. We talked about that, but did you notice it wasn’t exactly warm?”

“And it’s August.” Jaycee nodded, knowing exactly where he was going with this. “We’re not going to be able to keep the dry wall, are we?”

“It’s not looking promising, but as long as we don’t open those walls and find mold or more water, we’ll be okay.”

“How long?” She turned onto the street that would take them back to the hotel.

“Two weeks with Caleb. It’d be three with Alex.”

“Good thing we’ve got Caleb then.”

“You’re telling me. I still can’t believe they busted that pipe on the last one.”

She laughed. “I thought I was going to have a heart attack.”

He joined her laugh. “You and me both. Here’s to no 24-hour marathons with this one.”

“If I had a glass, I’d clink it with yours. I’m not sure how many more of those I can take.”

“Hazards of the job.”

“That’s what I keep telling myself.”

Jaycee met with Elle when they got back to the hotel, and Derek went to have some downtime. He said something about the Red Sox, and although there had been a time in her life when Jaycee would have been right there cheering them on, she had long-since given up on pastimes like baseball and anything else that had to do with a ball.

“That it?” she asked the house scout at nearly four. They’d ordered in in Elle’s room and worked through lunch.

The good thing was, they were finished now. The bad thing was, that meant she had nothing to do for a whole day and a half.

“See ya, Monday,” Elle said.

“Yeah.” Jaycee let herself out and went over to her own room. At her door, she stuck the plastic card into the slot and pulled it out, hearing the lock detach just as Derek’s door snapped open.

Surprised, she glanced that direction and found him emerge in jeans and a soft casual brownish pullover.

“Headed out?” she asked, knowing she shouldn’t disturb him. He was on a break from all things having to do with work. The last thing he probably wanted was to have her spying and checking up on him.

“Oh. Uh. No, actually.” He laughed and came over to her door where he stuck his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. “I was going to get something to eat. I thought about room service, but I’m kinda sick of being alone.”

Jaycee nodded. “I think there’s a thing called the No Frills Grill across the street. Unless you want the car keys. I could get them for you.”

He rocked there on his toes a couple times. “Or you could come with me.”

For one second Jaycee’s heart flipped, and then she realized what he was saying. She couldn’t be upset. Company was better than sitting in your room by yourself all day. “Just let me throw my stuff in here right quick.”

“Awesome. I knew you’d see things my way.”

Chapter 3

Out into the sunshine they went, and down and across the small hill of grass.

“You okay?” Derek asked, putting his hand out for her. “I never know with you and those heels.”

“These aren’t too bad.” She kicked her foot out for his inspection. “I really should’ve been smart enough to put my tennis shoes on though.”

He glanced back at the hotel behind them as they stood at the curb. “We could go back?”

“Nah. I’ve seen you hungry. I’ll live.”

Traffic on the divided double lane highway rushed one way past them. Just as Jaycee started to think this was a bad idea, the light down the way changed to red giving them a free pass. However, when she stepped into the lane, she noticed after three steps that he hadn’t followed. Instead he had bent down to get something off the street.

Turning back to him, her alert system blared that at any second that light was going to turn green and they would be highway pizza. “What are you doing?” she asked in concern. “Come on.”

With that, he jogged to catch up with her, put something into his pocket, and together they finished the first phase of their journey.

She glanced back up at him as they got to the grassy median. “What’d you drop?”

He shrugged, looking only at the traffic. “Nothing.”

That puzzled her, and her gaze wouldn’t move from his face, hovering there above her in the sunlight. “Then what did you pick up?”

As if wishing she wouldn’t ask, he glanced down at her. Picking his gaze back up, he nodded to the traffic. “Let’s go.”

She was less than happy about it, but Jaycee followed him across just the same as the light the other way held the traffic. When they got to the parking lot on the other side, she crossed her arms. “Seriously, what did you pick up?”

This time he wound his top lip into his teeth and let out a breath. However, without a word he dug into his pocket and pulled out a red metal thing with a screw on the end.

“What’s that?” she asked even as they walked, and she stared at it in confusion over why such a piece of garbage would be worth him getting run over.

“It’s a C-Clamp.” He tossed it up in the air and caught it before putting it back into his pocket.

Lifting her eyebrows, she surveyed him. “And you picked this up… why?”

When they got to the door of the restaurant, he reached out, opened it, and held it for her. Once inside, he brushed at his hair and stuck his hands in his front pockets. He seemed totally engrossed in the new atmosphere. “Oh, look they have a giraffe. That’s cool.”

He wasn’t lying. One wall was painted with a giraffe and a lion and a huge, leafy tree.

“That’s interesting.”

“Kinda awesome actually.” Pushing his feet forward, Derek headed to the order counter. There was no line. In fact, they were the only people in the whole place, which wasn’t exactly a confidence builder. But then again, lunch was four hours over and dinner wouldn’t start for two or three. At the counter, Derek perused the menu that was on the back wall. “What do you want? Looks like they’ve got all kinds of sandwiches. Soup? Are you into soup?”

“Oh, I…” Then Jaycee put her hand to the back of her ponytail, stopping what she was going to say at the last possible second. “Um.” She angled her gaze up with his, wondering what the smallest thing was on the menu. The last thing she wanted to do was tip him off that she had already eaten. “Salad, maybe, sounds good. Just like with ham on it or something.”

Derek glanced down at her with concern. “It’s nearly four. You can’t exist on salad alone. Tell you what, you get the salad and I’ll get a sandwich, and we can share some soup and a cookie. How does that sound?”

Really, she should just tell him no, but really, she couldn’t. “Uh, well, okay.” And then she remembered and looked down at herself. “Darn it. I forgot the company card.” She spun on her toe. “I can just run back and get it.”

However, Derek held his hand up. “No worries. I’ve got this.” He dug out his wallet.

“We can put it on the expense report. Just turn in the receipt.”

He grinned down at her. “Or you can let me buy it for a change.”

She felt bad about that. It was, after all, a business lunch. He didn’t have to be buying a business lunch. That’s why they had accountants and expense accounts.

“Which kind do you want?” Derek turned to her and pointed to the cookie display. It was brightly lit under the counter, and although it should have been easy to decide, when Jaycee looked at it, there were things she’d never heard of and many more that looked absolutely delicious.

“Oh. There’s a macadamia nut that looks really good. Oh, wait. What about the pumpkin spice one? Can’t beat pumpkin. Ah. But look at that lemon square. Ugh. I love lemon squares. I haven’t had one of those in forever.”

“Tell you what.” He laughed above her as she had leaned halfway over to get a better look at the selection, and he turned to the girl taking the orders. “How much for one of each?”

She told him, and he nodded.

“Then give us one of each.”

That snapped Jaycee back up to reality with a jerk. “Derek, how are we going to eat that many? It’s just you and me.”

He shrugged as he handed over the bills. “They’ll keep. We’ve got a refrigerator. Besides, I’m sure Elle and Caleb will manage to show up once or twice for ‘meetings.’” With his fingers, he put quotes around the word as he laughed.

Jaycee laughed too. “Don’t they always?”

“All. Ways.” He drew out the syllables. Once he had paid and had taken possession of the box of cookies, they turned for the seats. Their order would be brought out when it was ready. Until then, all they had to do was sit and wait.

“You can have something out of the cooler,” he said, pointing across the restaurant at the stand-up with every flavor of soda ever made.

“You want something?” she asked, suddenly feeling very exposed and awkward as if she had somehow stumbled into the wrong body.

“Just a water. Thanks.”

Going over, she chose two waters and headed back over to him. The brown of his pullover brought out the light and dark highlights in his hair as well as the nice expanse of shoulders beneath it. Even from the back, he was gorgeous. She brushed that thought aside and gathered her professional self back to her with a breath. Sitting down on the side by the wall, she reached up and scratched the back of her head. “So. A whole day to do nothing. Whatever shall we do?”

His laugh was soft and only one ha long. “Good point. I don’t think I’ve had a true day off in like six months.”

“Then make it nine for me.” She widened her eyes and shook her head. “I think I missed that part in the contract. 24-7, 365 a year. It’s insane.”

“Yeah, but this one shouldn’t be too bad. Looks pretty easy over all.”

“They’re nice. I think Gene really loves her, and you can so see he’s still broken up over losing his wife.”

“It’s tough,” Derek agreed. “You go on, but you never really get over it.”

Jaycee sensed they were getting closer to deeper water, so quickly she reangled their trajectory. Lifting her chin, she glanced at him before taking a small drink. “So what’s up with the clamp-thingy anyway?”

However, instead of floating to shallower water, they seemed to go the other direction as his gaze banked to the side and down to his fingers on the table.

She wanted to tell him if it was none of her business to just tell her, but concern stopped those words. “What?”

A second and gaze still down, he dug in his pocket, pulled the thing out, and laid it on the table between them. Once there, he spun it around slowly with his thumb and finger just staring at it, and then his gaze came up at hers as if to ask if she was safe.

More concern filled her, and she tipped her head at the sudden sadness in his face. She hadn’t expected that at all. After all, it was just a junk clamp he’d found on the side of the road. “So what’s up with that?”

One more glance and he sighed. “Well, I guess first of all, I figured I didn’t want someone to drive over it and kill a tire on it.” However, he kept looking at the thing and spinning it slowly, and she knew there was more to the story.

“And?” she finally asked.

This breath was longer, slower, more deliberate. “Well, it’s a C-clamp.” He spun it around to her so that she could see the C it formed.

“Umm?” She didn’t even know what to ask or how to ask it.

He bit his bottom lip and shrugged. “C is kind of my letter.” He shook his head, leaned back and pushed on the fabric of his jeans. However, his gaze never came up to hers before he lightly touched the little metal object. “I was a twin,” he finally said softly. “We were born real early. My brother, Chris, only lived about two days.”

Nothing could have surprised her more. “Oh, Derek…”

“Yeah, I know.” He tipped his head. “Sentimental and stupid, right?”

“No.” Concern for him flowed through her. “I’m so sorry. That’s got to be tough.”

“It’s weird because I didn’t really even know him, you know? I mean, we never talked, never played together, never hung out, nothing, but I miss him every day.” His laugh was soft as he glanced up at her. “When I was little, I had this invisible friend. He lived in my closet, and we talked about everything. I was an only child at the time, and my friend was who I went to when I got into trouble or something happened.”

Jaycee laid her hands on the table, unable to take her eyes off of him. There was something so poignant, so personal about how he looked and the words as if he was letting her into a place in himself he didn’t really trust anyone to go.

“Later on, when I was about 8, I found out about my brother, and…”

When the words stopped, Jaycee waited until she saw he was going to shut back down if she didn’t grab hold of him. “And?”

This glance bore embarrassment and discomfort. “And, well, I had named my invisible friend Chris, which it turns out was the name my parents had given my brother. ‘Course by that time, I didn’t visit the closet much anymore. When I was about 10, Ry came along and by then...” He shrugged.

“Ryley? Your little sister?”

He nodded.

“So the C stands for Chris then?” she asked gently, and he nodded again.

“I always know good things are coming when I notice a C. It’s kind of a message or something. Especially a weird one like this. There was one the day before I started the first job on that little cable show back in Michigan. It was on the child’s wall we were taking down. I don’t even remember what her name was anymore. Celeste. Chelsea. Chloe. Something like that, but it was this huge C right up above her headboard. I’ll never forget walking in the room that morning and seeing it. I’m telling you, I just about lost it.”

Her heart melted for the softness in his demeanor. “That must be so special to have that connection, that bond even now.”

He laughed that small laugh again. “I’m guessing most people would think I was completely crazy.”

“Well.” She twisted her face. “You do have your moments?”

His grin spread all the way across his face. “Hey, now. You better be nice, or I won’t share my cookies with you.”

At that Jaycee laughed and took a large sniff of the box. “They smell amazing.”

“Here you go.” The waitress appeared with their order, stacked on a tray. She set it out and asked if they needed anything else. Neither seemed to, so she left.

“So tell me about yourself,” Jaycee said, realizing she had never really thought to ask. “I mean, I knew you grew up in…”

“Michigan,” he filled in. Shaking some salt on his sandwich, he nodded. “Lots of shoveling sidewalks and braving the cold. Tons of snow.”

She forked into her salad even as she kept her gaze on him, interested to the point of if the place had burned down around her, she probably wouldn’t have noticed.

“I wasn’t real good in school. Hated it most of the way through to be honest. Couldn’t sit still to save my life.” He took a bite of the sandwich and chewed for a moment, so Jaycee did the same. “I was in the principal’s office more than I was in class. Nothing big, just teachers frustrated that I wouldn’t sit still mostly. Then in the sixth grade, they diagnosed me with ADHD, which about killed my mom.”

He tucked his tongue into the side of his teeth, shook his head, and then took a drink. Setting the water down, he tilted his head. “I was right on the borderline of needing medication, so she got in there and worked with the teachers so we wouldn’t have to do that. I was the only kid in seventh grade who was allowed to run the track in the morning and the afternoon. It helped a lot, cleared my head so I could focus.” He shook his head again. “Never did learn to like school much though.”

“You’re so good at what you do though. You’re not ADD at all.”

“No because I don’t have to sit in a desk all day. If you made me do that, I’d be stir-crazy in two hours.” Taking one bite, he laid his sandwich down and brushed off his hands. “Shop class really saved my life. That and hockey. Ugh. Loved hockey.”

She lifted her eyebrows. “Running people into the boards?”

“Oh, yeah. That was the best.” The grin was back. “But I was never really good enough to do much with it. So…” He turned the sandwich and took another generous bite.

Jaycee didn’t mind. It was nice not talking about dry wall and knob-and-tube wiring for a change. The salad was good, and even the two bites she had taken of the side bowl of soup he had poured in an extra bowl for her was delicious. It reminded her of home and her mom, being in that old kitchen on a cold night. Granted it wasn’t cold today, but the feeling wrapped into her just the same.

“Shop was my first real love, and when my uncle hired me to help him out one summer remodeling, that was it, man. Loved it.” Splaying one set of fingers in front of him, he took a drink with the other hand. “Demo was awesome. Seeing it come together. Amazing. I loved the design aspect and finishing it all up. The beginning, the middle, the end. I loved all of it. So, when I graduated, I skipped college and went right into trade work and never looked back.”

Although she was following, there was one very big leap from where he had stopped to where he was now. “Okay, so then, the whole television thing? How did that happen?”

“Well, it was right before the C on the wall. I was working with my uncle, and he had a friend who was a producer at the local television station. He had this crazy idea to do a D-I-Y segment on their nightly news programming. He needed someone who could explain it, do it, and show viewers how. My uncle volunteered me mostly I think because he didn’t want to do it himself. So I stepped up and started teaching D-I-Y at first it was one time a week, but the response was good, so they expanded it to three times a week. Someone in Hollywood saw it, called me up, and that’s when I walked into that room with the C on the wall. I guess the rest is history.” He looked down at the bowl of soup she hadn’t finished. “You going to finish that?”

Of course he’d already eaten his own soup and sandwich, and he probably would’ve already eaten most of the cookies if he hadn’t been talking so much.

“No. I think I’m done. Go ahead.” She laughed to herself at how he always seemed to be on the verge of starving.

“So do you love it?” she asked, sitting back, her fingers only a few inches away from the C that still lay between them on the table. It was mostly silver owing to the fact that the red paint was all-but gone. It probably wasn’t worth ten cents if you tried to sell it, but even as she sat there, she could feel its importance to him, and something told her he would never let that thing go although this was probably the last time she would ever see it.

“You know, it’s weird, but I really do.” Soup gone, he leaned back as well. The place was beginning to fill up with customers, but neither of them felt the need to abandon their empty plates just yet. “I love getting to help people realize their dream. I love going into a space that has so much potential if the right person takes just a little time with it.” He shrugged. “Sure it gets crazy, and some of it is just surreal.”

“Like the photo shoots.”

He knitted his eyebrows together. “And the radio shows? That’s just strange to me. And it’s weird to be recognized too.” With a glance behind him at the others now ordering, he sat forward, leaning on the table with his elbows. “But I love the work. It’s like breathing to me. Even the stand-ups. I love teaching people and showing them that this stuff isn’t impossible, that with a little imagination, they can transform their whole world into something truly inspiring.” At that, he stopped and laughed, dropping his head.

“What?” Jaycee asked, not understanding the sudden plummet into embarrassment.

Derek lifted his gaze to hers in apology. “This. Me.” He widened his eyes. “You don’t want to hear this. I just… I forget sometimes… that everyone else isn’t as fascinated with it as I am.”

The truth was she thought he was pretty fascinating in ways she had always felt but had never really had words for.

“Excuse me,” a lady said, and when Derek looked up, Jaycee knew they were busted. “Aren’t you…?”

Glancing over at Jaycee, he apologized with his eyes for one split-second. However, she smiled, knowing this was part of being Derek West, D-I-Y superstar.

“You are,” the lady said, and she turned to her friend. “It is him. It’s Derek West.” Her gaze came back around. “Do you mind? My friend and I are huge fans.”

In one breath he put on his TV face as Jaycee watched. Then her gaze drifted to the table and the little C-clamp still lying there.

“No. I don’t mind.” He stood from their table.

“Oh, yay. My daughter is never going to believe this.” The lady held out her cell phone as he ducked near the two of them. “Celebrity selfie.”

After that, several other customers wanted pictures, and the whole thing became an impromptu meet-and-greet. When they finally extracted themselves and headed back for the hotel it was well after six-thirty.

Traffic was much worse, and Jaycee was glad he wouldn’t be stopping to pick up any C-clamps on the way across. It would be rather difficult to explain to Brent how and why their star had gotten squished in the middle of a Gary, Indiana highway picking up random hardware. Back to safety, they walked together across the parking lot, her arms anchored protectively around her, and she was extra sure to keep a safe distance from him as well.

“So big date with Bree tonight?” Jaycee asked, mostly because she wanted to remind herself that the past three hours had meant absolutely nothing to him.

“Ah. Probably not.” He shook his head, dislodging the long bangs. Stepping up to the outer door, he swiped his card and then opened and held it for her.

Asking more on that topic was a bad idea. She knew that. “Oh. So are you and Caleb going out?”

“Caleb’s coming in tomorrow afternoon. He had a thing at home.”

“Oh.” Into and up the elevator they went.

“Nah, I figured I’d kick back and watch the game. See what downtime feels like for a change.”

“The game?” Jaycee twisted herself around to survey him. “The Sox and New York?”

Surprise jumped to his face as he stood there, right behind her in the little box. “You speak baseball?”

“With the Sox? Totally. I haven’t been watching much recently though. Used to never miss a game.”

“Oh.” He shrugged. “Why don’t you come over? We could watch it together, make sure neither of us jumps off the balcony from having too much time to do whatever we want.”

Jaycee smiled at that. “Yeah, well, I’d hate to impose.”

“Ah. Who’s imposing? Besides.” He held up the untouched box of cookies. “I owe you a cookie, remember?”

She smiled even more. When they reached their doors, she stopped and leaned on the wall between them. “You mind if I change?”

His face fell in consternation. “I don’t know. I kind of like you the way you are.”

Instantly, Jaycee’s gaze fell to her clothes. “But I’ve been in these all day. I…” Then she looked up and caught him grinning so much that one small dimple had appeared on the left side of his cheek. “And you’re teasing me.”

He tipped his head. “Get comfortable. It’s not every night you’re not stuck doing D-I-Y in heels.”

“You have a point there.” Slowly she thought the offer through and nodded. “Okay. I’ll just…”

At his door, he nodded. “I’ll be sure to save a cookie for you.”

She grinned. “You’d better.”

The game started at seven, so Derek knew they had a few minutes of prep time. He set the cookies on the little kitchen counter. They always stayed at places with kitchenettes because with their crazy schedule, it was too likely they would get back at midnight having not eaten for more hours than any of them could remember.

In the little sitting room, he flipped on the light and checked for the remote which was on one of the end tables. They would need something to drink, so he grabbed up his key-card putting it into his pocket where his hand met up with the C-clamp. He dug it out with a hard sigh. Had he really told her about Chris living in his closet? In what possible realm could that be considered sane or smart? She was his assistant and manager. The last thing she needed to worry about was his sanity.

Still, he couldn’t let the feeling go, so before he went for drinks, he tucked it securely in the side of his suitcase. Maybe when he got back home to L.A. he would find a good home for it. Maybe he could do something around it, a shadow box or something. No one else would understand, but that didn’t matter much to him. They didn’t need to. He did, and that was enough.

As he went down to the vending machines, he thought about her asking about Bree, and he laughed softly. If she only knew how shallow the women he chose to date were, she would really question his sanity. A night with one of them was enough to drain brain cells. Still, he knew it was better that way. His life didn’t have room for deep, meaningful relationships, and his heart really didn’t either.

“Scattered…” “Unfocused…” “Can’t stay on task…”

The assessments from all those teachers all those years before felt permanently stamped into his soul. No. He had a very short attention span, and relationships took work, time, effort and patience. Things he was not at all good at.

A bevy of drinks in hand, he went back to his room only to find her coming out of hers. She looked so very different, so un-Jaycee-like he nearly tripped over his shoes when he looked up and caught sight of her. In light gray sweats and a bright pink T-shirt and the biggest change of all—no glasses, she looked more ready to paint than she ever had in her heels and business attire.

“Oh, gosh!” She jumped when she turned and caught him standing there looking at her. Holding her hands out to the sides, she shrugged. “I hope you don’t mind. I don’t get to veg very often anymore.”

His gaze took all of her in, once, then twice before he managed a shake of his head. “No. I don’t mind.”

Her smile questioned that but only briefly.

Snapping reasonable back over himself, Derek went to his door and fumbled with the drinks and the card. Finally the door came open, and he went in, pushing it for her to enter as well. “I got some drinks. I wasn’t sure what you’d like. We can make some coffee too if you want. I think they’ve got some Columbian here.” Careful not to drop the cans and make a total mess, he stacked the drinks into the refrigerator as she slowly ambled into the living area.

He should have shut the bedroom doors, he realized as he past them, so he did. No need to make her uncomfortable.

“Nice room,” she said. “I like this painting better than the one in my room. I hate abstract.”

Coming in, Derek went over and punched the remote. “This one isn’t exactly Monet.”

She shrugged. “True. But I like the oranges and browns. The one in my room is like jarringly yellow. Definitely not my style.” It was when she sat down on the couch and pulled her feet up under her before winding her arms around herself again that Derek noticed she wasn’t even wearing shoes. The perfectly white socks poked out of the ends of her sweats.

“Um. I have the cookies,” he said, wondering at this strange unsettled feeling flitting through him. “If you want one.” He went back to the kitchenette and brought the box in just as the pre-game started on the television. Opening the box, he set it on the coffee table and let his gaze stay there.

Jaycee bent over to peruse them. “What’s your favorite?”

“My…” He stepped back and put his hands on his beltline before winding them up at his chest. “Um, I’m more of a chocolate chip man myself.”

Her gaze came up to his with a smile couched in it. “You got all these cookies, and you only like chocolate chip?”

He shrugged. “You talked me into it.” Then he decided he would take her cue. “Uh, do you mind if I…?” He sat down on the chair and picked one foot up indicating his boot.

Taking a deep brown-orange cookie out, she barely caught the icing as she shrugged. “It’s your room. I’m not picky.”

Derek could well have questioned that, but he chose not to. He had seen Ms. Not-Picky in action, and “not” should never have been attached to that word when describing her. Pillows, stain, paint, upholstery, layout. She was one of the most picky, perfectionistic people he had ever been around. Just the same he took the boots off and wiggled his toes in his black socks. That really did feel better. He leaned back and folded his hands in front of him, perfectly relaxed.

Suddenly jumping, she sat up. “Oap! Here’s your chocolate chip.” She reached into the box and retrieved the biggest chocolate chip cookie that wasn’t from The Factory he had ever seen and handed it to him. “And…” She set her own cookie on a napkin off to the side and bounced off the couch as the final strains of The Star Spangled Banner played on the television. Without asking, she went over to his refrigerator and popped it open. “What do you want?”

“Uh, how about a Dr. Pepper?”

“Living on the dangerous side,” she said with a laugh as she came back, handed him the maroon can and took her own selection of sweet tea to the other side of the couch. Setting it there, she turned with her hands on her hips. “You need anything else?”

“Uh, no. I think I’m good.” He ratcheted his shoulders back in the chair and opened the can. “So the Sox, huh? I figured you were more of a football girl.”

She tilted her head as she broke one small piece of the pumpkin cookie off and ate it.

“Or tennis,” he said only slightly teasing.

Her face scrunched. “Yes on football. Not so much on tennis. Love baseball. We used to get to stay up late in the summer to watch. Nothing like a Sox game that goes into extra innings.”

Derek took a sip, his gaze split evenly between the television and her. She was like an electric current—always on, always bright and intense. He liked that about her.

“So, how about you? Oap.” The cookie piece broke off in her fingers and scattered down the front of her T-shirt. “Well, that was good, Jaycee.” But she continued the conversation even as she wiped herself off. “When did your love affair with the Sox start?”

“Oh, well, for me, my uncle was a big Yankee fan from way back, and him and I always made bets about who was going to win. Nickel and dime stuff when I was younger, dollars and tens when I was older. It was something to talk about while we put up walls and took down sheetrock. ‘Course, he always got the Yankees, so that left me with the Sox. After a while.” He shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess some things just stick with you.”

More contemplative now, Jaycee broke another piece off and held it. “You must miss your family. Your uncle?”

That snapped Derek out of the thoughts and back to reality. How could she do that to him? He wasn’t sure, and he certainly was sure he shouldn’t keep letting it happen. “Oh, you know.” He shrugged. “You grow up, you get your own life, you move on. That’s part of the deal, I guess.”

No part of her gaze would have given a hint she was watching any of the game. Instead, it was one-hundred percent stuck to him. “So are you planning to go back for Thanksgiving or Christmas?”

Amazing how easily those words could bring in a flood of memories. “Maybe Christmas. Thanksgiving’s just too short. I’ll probably try to get back to L.A. See if my place is still standing.” He took a drink of the Dr. Pepper. “You?”

“Oh.” Her gaze yanked down to her pumpkin cookie, and she shook her head slowly\. “Not sure yet really. We’ll have to see.”

Derek nodded, knowing, sensing she didn’t want to talk about it. It was like that in this business. You worked together for hours on end, but you didn’t really get to know people, not like that anyway. “So how’s that cookie?”

She jerked her gaze up to his and smiled softly. “It’s wonderful. I… love pumpkin.”

He smiled. “I’m glad.”

Chapter 4

The Sox won, no extra innings, and Jaycee was in bed by 10:30. On Sunday they ate breakfast together and then agreed without really talking about it to use the day to do their own separate thing. As far as Jaycee was concerned that was a good thing because it would’ve been too easy to get sucked into thinking this was more than it was. He was bored and she was handy. Not that there was anything actually going on. It was just that Derek West had a way of being so there, it was hard to remember to keep her head in the game and not put her heart on the line.

So just after eleven, she called Sage.

“Oh, Jayc,” Sage said, and Jaycee could hear without listening the craziness in the background. “Can I call you a little later? Mom and Dad are here, and Luke’s parents. We’re having an early birthday for Livvie since his folks are going to visit Cilla and Pete next week.”

“Oh. Uh. Sure. No problem.” Then Jaycee’s reasonable side kicked in. “You know, Sage, it really wasn’t anything. Don’t worry about calling later. Have fun and tell Livvie I’ll send her something awesome for her birthday.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Go. Have fun. I’m fine.”

“Okay. But you take care of yourself and remember I’m praying for you.”

Jaycee smiled at that. Somehow Sage always found a way to remind her. “K. Go have fun. I’ll try to call you next week.”

“K. Bye.”

“Bye.” Jaycee hit the off button and laid the phone on her chest. She lay there on the bed for another second and then sat up. A present for Livvie. She’d better do that now. If she waited, the kid would be five before she thought about it again.

By Monday morning when Jaycee knocked at six-fifteen, Derek was up and nearly ready. How she always beat him, he would never know. He flipped the door open for her and headed back in for his shoes.

“Almost ready?” she asked as chipper as ever.

“Almost.” He wrestled two seconds with one work boot and had the other on in no time. “Did you call Caleb?”

“Yeah. He’s meeting us there. Elle will be there this morning too, and then I think she’s headed wherever Brent decides next.”

“K.” Quickly he put the rest of his things in his pockets and then held his hands out. “Let’s hit it.”

For their first day of filming she had chosen a white top, a thin black skirt, and a peach jacket that looked kind of like denim, but Derek wasn’t sure it actually was. “Pretty daring wearing white on demo day,” he said as they waited for the elevator.

“Yeah.” She grinned up at him. “I like to live dangerously.”

“Clearly.”

When the thing dinged, he let her on, holding his hand out to stop the door lest it decide to not give her plenty of time.

“We supposed to be there by eight?” he asked.

“Yeah, but I’d like to get there by 7:30, chat with the homeowners a little more. You were talking about celery green for Kathleen’s room.” Jaycee fumbled with her stuff for her NotePad, got it out and flipped it on. “I was doing some gift buying last night, and I found…” One more readjustment to keep her purse on her shoulder, and she managed to pull up her find. She handed him the NotePad as the doors slid open.

Derek let her go off first, and he followed before pulling the thing up to look. “Oh, wow.”

“Yeah, you know, I figured, she’s a young college student, hopes and dreams and all of that.”

The painting on the screen was of a young woman in a flowing white dress standing on the bank of a glistening navy lake on which floated two white swans. Jaycee reached over and took the tablet back.

“I liked that one, and…” Two swipes and another painting came on the screen, this one featuring a lady with a parasol standing on the dock in a flowing cream gown. “But I wasn’t sure what you were going to pair the green with. I wasn’t sure if you were going to go more yellow like at the Taylor’s or crazy with purple or something like at that one in Boston.”

“Boston,” he said, mimicking the accent.

She laughed as she put her things down by the little window in the eating area. “You really shouldn’t do that. You’re really no good at it at all.”

“What? You don’t like my Boston accent?” It sounded more like Baston when he said, and she shook her head.

“Seriously. You would never make it as a comedian.” Going over, she got her cereal, banana and milk. If he ate like she did, he’d shrivel up and die.

In no time they were at the little table, each arranging their meal.

“You know, on that whole college thing, I got to thinking last night.” He put ketchup next to his scrambled eggs and sausage before biting into one link. “We didn’t put in a place for her to study. I mean, there’s the couch, but it would be nice if we could fit a desk in the bedroom. It wouldn’t have to be big. Couple of feet taken from the living area could really make a big difference.”

“We could back that wall up on the bathroom, that would create some space down that wall for a dresser or a bookshelf.”

“That would be perfect. Can you tell Zac?”

“I’m on it,” she said, spoon in one hand shoveling in the cereal even as her other fingers tip-tapped on the NotePad.

“Okay,” Cliff Anderson, the director, said from behind the camera as Derek stood at the bushes in front of the house for the first stand-up of the morning. As morning stand-ups went, this one was about as good as they got. At least it wasn’t snowing and 45 below. He’d survived his fair share of those.

Derek shrugged once and tilted his head first one way and then the other like a boxer entering the ring. “I’m ready.”

“Then let’s make some magic,” Cliff said. “Quiet on the set. And… action.”

“Gene and Kathleen are a great family that’s stretching and growing up. To accommodate that growth, we’re going to create an apartment for Kathleen so she can have her own space.” In his head he could see the jump to her father telling her it was lights out. That wouldn’t be filmed until later in the week probably, but he saw it just the same. “Now clearly one of the issues here is privacy. Add to that the water spots we found in the corner and the fact that both Gene and Kathleen tell us it gets really cold down there in the winter, and I think our best bet is to strip the project down to the studs, insulate the space, and then rebuild it into a perfect apartment for a young woman who is ready to not be right under her daddy’s nose all the time. Time to get to work.”

“And cut. Run it back,” Cliff called, his headset on as he watched the monitors.

This part was always nerve-racking because if it didn’t sound right, look right, or whatever, they would have to do it again. And precious time could be eaten up with retakes.

“Perfect,” Cliff called. “Let’s reset over here and do the one about the revamp for the desk add.”

Derek moved with the others over to another section of the porch, amazed how fast the wheels turned when she pushed them. He was sure Jaycee was inside, lining things out in the basement. Both Gene and Kathleen were gone today, owing to work and school. He wished they could have stayed. It was always more fun if the homeowners could help, especially with the demo. However, some things couldn’t be helped.

Tia came up to work on his hair and makeup, and Derek dutifully closed his eyes. There was a time he had complained until he finally realized that only slowed things down. “Done. You look awesome, Derek.”

“Thanks.”

“Okay. The desk add stand-up,” Cliff called. “You ready?”

A breath and Derek nodded. “Whenever you are.”

“Quiet on the set. And… action.”

Due to the stand-ups going on in the front, the real work was happening in the back. The trash bins had been placed early that morning, and now the construction crew was arriving, getting coffee and chatting about their weekends. The camera crew was busy setting up the lights, booms, and cameras. Trying to film so many different aspects at one time was a challenge, and as the show had grown, they had thankfully been given more cameras to capture it all. That made it so much easier than having to think everything through so they missed nothing in the chaos that normally ensued on a project like this one.

In the basement corner where they had decided to start, Jaycee directed the cameras and sound crew as Caleb looked over her shoulder, as serious as if he was watching her do surgery. Younger than her by a few years, Caleb had many of the same qualities Derek had, an eye for the project and the camera. That was a hard combination to come by, and she very much appreciated working with two stone-serious professionals.

“You know, Jayc, not to question you or anything, but I think we’d be better off starting the first shots over here,” Caleb said, going to stand under the window, his dark, longish hair only barely finger combed. “That side’s got a lot of dead lighting space. It’s going to take a lot more light to shoot it and not look nearly so natural as it would over here.” He continued to examine the space as she watched him.

She put her pen to her lips, considering the suggestion. Caleb had a good eye for those kinds of things, and she nodded. “Caleb’s probably right. Derek will want it on the opposite wall. Let’s set here and angle that direction.”

Caleb nodded both his agreement and seriousness. “That will be a lot better. Plus, he can point out where the water spots are over here.”

“Oh, good thought. Paul, let’s get some close-ups of the water spots down here. I’m sure he’ll be mentioning them.”

“And cut. Perfect,” Cliff said. “No question you’re a pro, Derek. You ready to get inside and get your hands on this place?”

“More than. Let’s do this thing!”

It would have been hard to miss their arrival with so many people coming down the stairs at one time, and Jaycee’s mind snapped around the basement, making sure everything was ready to go. Time was precious with so many people on the clock. They certainly didn’t need to be waiting on her.

“How’d they go?” she asked Derek as he stepped up.

“Good. Four takes for the three of them. Cliff was happy.”

“Great.”

At that moment, Tia stepped up with his safety goggles and hammer, and Derek started getting ready.

“Caleb thought it would be better to start under the window,” Jaycee said. “Will that work?”

“Better light. Good call.” All outfitted, Derek stepped back. He looked like a little boy on Christmas or a lumberjack about to take down a tree. “Demo time.”

Jaycee smiled. “It never gets old, does it?”

“Destroying stuff with a hammer?” he asked with a grin. “No chance.”

She laughed. “Get in there and let’s get started.”

“Ready, Derek?” Cliff asked, and Derek headed into the impromptu set being careful not to step on any of the cords. When he was in the space, Cliff checked the monitor. “Good. Great lighting. Okay. I think we do the set-up and then you get to start whacking away.”

“K.” Derek squared his shoulders took a breath and glanced over. “Ready?”

“And… action.”

“Kathleen wants a space that’s warm and private. We noticed some water spots over here in the corner that we want to check out.” He sat on his heel by the water spots. “Water spots can mean big trouble behind walls, so that means this dry wall has to go.” Standing, he moved over to the blank wall. “Once we get the sheetrock down, then we can properly insulate and sound-proof the space. Kathleen and Gene will love it. Time to get to work.” With no more warning, Derek took a step back and put the hammer through the wall.

For one split second panic hit Jaycee as she realized she hadn’t thought to mark the area he was to hit. The last thing they wanted was for him to hit a stud and the hammer to go nowhere. However, it went right through, and she breathed a silent sigh of relief. He pulled it out and sent it right back into the dry wall with no hesitation whatsoever.

However, with the second hit, a deafening pop shot through the room, and Derek jerked back and dropped the hammer with a clang as sparks shot out of the hole in the wall. “Ow! Ugh!”

He dropped to one knee, holding his wrist, and Jaycee and everyone else surged toward him. She was the first to get there, not even thinking about the fact the cameras were probably still rolling.

“Derek, are you okay?” She put her hand on his shoulder, half afraid to touch him. “What happened?”

“D…” He swallowed that as he shook his hand and held it again. “S…Sugar. That hurt.”

“Are you okay?” Panic started to take over her senses. “Do we need a medic? Cliff, we need Linda. Somebody get Linda.”

“No. Ugh.” Derek tipped his head to the side bearing down on the pain. “No. I’m fine. Dang. That hurt. Ga… Wow. Ugh.”

“Are you sure? That was a nasty spark,” Jaycee said.

“You’re telling me,” he said, shaking his head. “Wow. That hurt.”

“Linda’s here,” Cliff said, standing above them. “You’d better let her take a look at that.”

With effort, Derek stood to his feet, still shaking out his hand as if he was trying to get a vat of water off of it. “No. I’m fine. It just scared me, that’s all.”

However, Linda took his hand just the same as Jaycee monitored both him and the closest thing they had to a medic on set for her assessment.

“Can you move your fingers?” Linda asked, and he stretched and then fisted them. “Well, it looks like you got lucky.” She looked over to Cliff. “We could take him in if you want, have it checked out.”

Gray-headed Cliff looked up at Derek who was a full foot taller than the director. “What do you think? Is it bad enough to go in?”

“Nah.” Derek closed his eyes and let out a breath. “I’m good. It’s not worth going in. I’ll be okay. Just give me a minute or two.”

“Okay, everybody,” Cliff said, turning to the crew. “Let’s take ten and regroup.”

The others started moving away, leaving Cliff, Linda, Caleb, and Jaycee around Derek.

“Why don’t you come sit down?” Jaycee asked, her hand on his back. “Just take a rest for a minute.” Worry snarled around her as she trailed him over to the oversized chairs in the far corner.

When he got there, Derek collapsed into one and bent over his wrist, still holding and shaking it. Only Linda had followed them. Jaycee knew very well how desperately he was trying to be all right because the rest of the filming day was resting squarely on this decision. But she also knew he came first, and if they had to scrap filming for the day, they would.

“Now, I need you to be honest with me,” Jaycee said as Derek took off the goggles with his good hand, dropped them to the floor, and closed his eyes as if he could squeeze out the pain. “Do you need to go in? Because if you do, then we go in. I don’t want to risk it if you think there’s a chance we need to.”

Another long moment and he pulled his eyes open and blinked, letting his breath finally settle. Next to him, Linda pulled his hand away from him to look at it again.

“We can wrap it. I don’t think the burn is too bad. Good thing you dropped the hammer that fast.”

“Yeah, good thing,” Derek said and there was an edge of sarcasm.

“I’ll go get the stuff.” And Linda trekked off up the stairs.

“What happened?” Derek asked Jaycee when all the others were out of earshot. “I thought it was ready.”

“It was,” Jaycee said, feeling the weight of the mistake drop on her.

“I’m really sorry, Derek.” Caleb stepped up and wound his massive arms over themselves as he frowned at the two of them. He shook his head in sincere, concerned apology. “I’d done the check on the other wall before we decided to move the shot. That whole wall was clean. I never even thought to check the other side.”

“Yeah, we all make mistakes,” Derek said, finally starting to look like himself again. “Don’t worry about it.”

But it was clear Caleb was every bit as worried as the rest of them.

“Okay,” Linda said, coming back down, “we can patch this up. A couple of Advil, and you’ll be good to go.”

If it was that easy to fix, why did Jaycee so feel like crying? She stood there, helpless to fix it and knowing it was all her fault. She glanced at Caleb who never took his gaze from Derek and steeling herself, her gaze followed his to Derek who shook his head and wrenched open his eyes.

“Whew,” Derek said with a half-laugh. “That’s one way to light up your life.”

The others laughed, kind of, but to Jaycee there was absolutely nothing funny about what had just happened.

The rest of the day went great. All the dry wall was down, and with the offending exposed wire’s source found, the electricity issue had been resolved as well. Thankfully, it was a rogue wire that someone had tried to use to get electricity into the space. Someone who did not know what they were doing. That much was clear.

As they started back to the hotel after seven, Derek felt Jaycee glance over to him repeatedly as he had all day. He knew she was worried, but he wasn’t at all sure how to assuage that worry as the incident had made him a little more than a little shaky as well.

“So, seriously,” she asked for the hundredth time that day, “are you really okay?”

“Hey. It would take more than a 110 jolt to take me out. I’m too hard-headed to let something like that do too much damage.”

“And the hand?” She glanced down at it. “Linda said we need to rewrap it tonight.”

“I don’t think it’s that bad. I think you all are making a big deal out of nothing.”

“Nothing?” Her gaze went not to his hand but to him. “You about scared us to death.”

“Yeah? Well, I wasn’t throwing any parties. That thing hurt, now, let me tell you.”

“Ugh.” Frustration crawled across her face. “I told you if it was bad, we should call today off.”

“I said it hurt, not call out the National Guard. I got over it. I was fine.”

“Yeah, but when you hurt, it’s like most people needing to go to the emergency room. Your pain tolerance is much too high for your own good.” She made the turn and angled her gaze over to him. “And don’t try to tell me I’m over-reacting either, Mr. I-Worked-Through-Having-Pneumonia.”

“That was a fluke. Besides, I got over it, didn’t I?”

“Yes. After I hog-tied you and dragged you to the doctor. You’re driving me crazy, you know that?”

He grinned. “Short drive, huh?”

At that she reached over and whacked him across the chest. Instantly he doubled over. “Oh! OH! Ow.”

“What?” The car veered, eliciting a honk from beside them. “Are you okay, Derek? Did I…”

He sat up straight. “Made you look.”

“Ugh. You.” She let her gaze go to her mirrors and out the side as she crossed the lanes into the median that would take them home. With one motion, she made the U-turn and bumped into the hotel parking lot barely missing the traffic coming the other way.

“You know,” he said, with teasing twining through him. “If you keep driving like that, we really will be in the emergency room tonight.”

“Ha. Ha. You’re hilarious.” Parking the car, she sat for one second after turning it off. “Listen, Derek. Seriously. I’m really sorry about today. That…”

“What?” Worry for her trounced through him. “That wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes, it was. I had Caleb check the other wall. I should’ve thought…”

Then he realized she really was busted up about it. “Oh, come on, Jayc, you and I both know that kind of stuff happens doing this job.”

“Yeah, but… it’s my job to make sure it doesn’t.”

“It’s not just yours.”

“It’s mostly mine.” When she turned to him, Derek saw only then the very real pain etched on her face. “I’m really sorry.”

“Jaycee.” He let out a breath and shook his head. “Don’t beat yourself up over this.” He picked up his bandaged hand. “Believe me, I’ve survived falling out of a tree, falling through a rotten staircase… much, much worse than this.”

“Still, I want you to know it won’t happen again.”

Derek gazed at her a long moment and then shook his head seriously. “You can’t promise that, but trust me, I know you do everything you can for me, and I do appreciate it, but things happen out there, and we can’t pull up stakes and go home because sometimes it’s dangerous. Now, you listen to me. I’m fine. This is going to heal in a few days, and I’ll be as good as new. Promise. You just keep doing what you’re doing because you’re doing a great job. Now come on, let’s go eat already. I’m starving.”

For the whole night and most of the rest of the next two weeks Jaycee jumped every time her mind tripped over the memory of those sparks coming out of that wall and seeing him on the ground. He had, in fact, healed, and in no time, she was probably the only one— including Derek— that even remembered it. However, every time she looked at him, her heart said she should apologize for letting her stupidity almost kill him.

By the next Friday they were supposed to turn over the keys, but they were a day behind and although they had promised the homeowners it would definitely be done by Saturday morning, Jaycee had her doubts about even that happening. As usual, most of the construction crew headed out about seven, leaving a only skeleton camera crew, Caleb, Derek, and Jaycee behind.

“We’ve got to get the fixtures done in the bathroom and kitchen,” Derek said at their short meeting to map out the rest of the work. They had been on site since seven that morning, and although she knew he had to be bone-numbed tired, he seemed more like a drill sergeant than anything. “The bed’s got to be set up yet. We’ve got the bedding and pillows on the stairs. The dishwasher needs hooked up, and we’ve got to get that desk down and set. What else?”

“The hanging light over the couch,” Caleb said as into the list as Derek. Caleb was like that. In fact, someday, he would probably have his own show. Jaycee wouldn’t be one bit surprised to see that happen although she hoped it was later rather than sooner for Derek’s sake as Caleb was the best right hand man they had on the crew.

Derek let out a worried sigh. “Oh, yeah. Did that come in? I didn’t see it.”

With a glance back over his shoulder, Caleb nodded. “It’s on the stairs.”

“Then the final cleanup of course.” One more slide of his gaze down the list, and Derek exhaled hard. “Looks like it’s going to be another late night.”

“What’s new?” Caleb asked, clapping Derek on the back. “Where do you want me to start?”

“Why don’t you do the plumbing stuff? Jayc and I will start on the bedroom.”

With a teasing grin, Caleb waggled his eyebrows. “Okay, but don’t get too carried away in there.”

“Ha. Ha. Funny man.” Derek hit Caleb in the chest with the checklist. “Okay. Let’s get to work. I guess we start with the bed frame.”

“I’m following you,” Jaycee said. The heels of her black boots clicked on the dark hardwood floor as they went into the new bedroom. It was so pretty, and the blue painting of the woman next to the lake on the wall over the bed was simply stunning. Not sure where he wanted to start, she watched as he sat down on the floor and ripped into the box with his pocketknife.

“Let’s hope it’s all here.” He took out first one piece and then two before handing her the first one. “Side rail.”

“Okay.” She took it and laid it to the side.

“Here’s the bottom rail. Another side. The header. The feet.” He looked around, and Jaycee hopped over the pieces and went out before coming back with her hands laden with tools.

“Screw gun, nail bags, and hammer just in case.”

Taking them from her, he stood and put the nail bags on. “We need to get this into position so we’re not taking a chance scratching the hardwoods. I want it centered on the picture, so…” He took out the tape measure and sent it over to the far wall. “Half of 15. Okay. We need to get the bed centered right here.”

Jaycee nodded, memorizing and thinking through the instructions. “Here’s the pack of screws.” She reached down and picked it up.

“Cool. Let’s get started.”

Thanks to Derek’s amazing ability to put even the most confusing of projects together perfectly, they were finished with the frame in no time.

“Now for the springs and mattress,” Derek said, detaching the nailbags and laying them on the floor by the little dresser that did actually look made to go in the space created by the widened room. “I’d better get Caleb.”

Jaycee followed him out. “I’ll get the bedding.”

As the two guys muscled the box springs in, Jaycee went about unfurling the bed skirt which was perfect and beautiful but not at all ironed. “Oh, no. Houston, we have a problem.”

“What’s that?” Derek asked, coming up from positioning the box springs on the far side of the room.

She lifted the skirt. “Do you iron?”

Caleb picked his hands up and exited the room. The sigh Derek let out told her all she already knew.

“Well, then, do we have an iron and board?” she asked.

He reached back and scratched his neck. “I didn’t think about it when the stagers left.”

“Okay. I guess I’ll go get one.” Walking out, she grabbed her purse and the keys. “You guys get done with that. I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

The trek to the nearest superstore found Jaycee in line with the iron and board when her cell phone rang in her purse. It took her several seconds to rescue the thing. “Jaycee Lawrence.”

“Jaycee.”

Jaycee juggled the items once more about to drop everything. “Yes?”

“It’s Katie. Listen, Brent wanted me to call and let you know I booked the flight.”

“Oh, good.” Her mind spun in a thousand directions as she stepped forward and placed her purchases on the rolling counter. “When is it?” Digging for a pen, paper, and the credit card, she stepped forward as the man in front of her scowled at her being on the phone.

“Tomorrow at one. Will that give you enough time?”

Time? Who even knew what that was anymore?

“That’s going to be tight, Katie.”

“I know, but those were the only seats left. I didn’t want you to have to fly in Monday morning.”

“Okay. Can you send the info over to my email? I’ll check in when I get back to the house.”

The clerk told her the total, and she swiped the card.

“The house? Are you guys still there?”

“Yeah, it took a little more time than Derek thought. Him and Caleb are there finishing up.”

Jaycee signed the pad and waited for the receipt. Receipts. Very important. Another lesson she had learned the hard way.

“Okay. I just sent them. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow evening some time.”

“Great. We’ll be there.” Beeping the phone, she said thank you to the clerk and gathered her purchases. “Stay on your feet, Jayc. Just stay on your feet. Don’t freak out. Just stay calm.”

She was still coaching herself when she got back to the house and down the stairs only to find even the skeleton camera crew had called it a night as well. Remarkably the place really did look amazing. “I got the iron and board. You need me to do it?”

Derek glanced at her from where he was half-hidden by the dishwasher. “I’d appreciate it.”

“K.” To the bedroom she went. There, she pulled out her NotePad, knowing their 24 hour window of preboarding passes was closing quickly. Swiping, typing, and breathing, she managed to get the passes ordered. Fairmont, Nevada. She’d never even heard of it.

That’s when it occurred to her that she needed to get the prelims from Katie. What was the time difference from here to there? Could she do that when she got back to the room? Knowing she needed it one way or the other, she typed the request, sent it, and then stood to get the ironing done. Yes, she could have asked for the board and iron from the homeowners, but asking the homeowners was always, in every situation, a final, last-ditched resort. Something you did not do unless you absolutely had to.

Setting the little board on the floor, she knelt down carefully and plugged the iron in. Ironing. Not her most favorite thing in the world. She vowed not to think about that as she got the bed skirt in position and started ironing. “Come on, Jayc. Just don’t think about it. Get it done, so we can get home.”

As she ironed, she could almost hear her bed calling her from the hotel. When they had left at six-thirty that morning, this had all looked so doable. Now, she was just plain, flat-out exhausted. Back and forth the iron went, and she fought to both stay awake and to not make the bed skirt worse than it already was.

Suddenly Derek’s shoes appeared right next to her, and Jaycee nearly jumped out of her skin, honestly thinking she might either be dreaming or have just woken up.

“How’s this going?” he asked, and when she looked up, he looked a million miles tall.

“Good. I’m about halfway I think.”

He nodded, the look on his face deathly serious. “I could go do the bathroom fixtures unless you’re ready.”

For sleep? But she batted that down. “Yeah. Yeah, no problem. Get that done. I’m fine.”

With another nod, he stepped out, and when he was gone, she let out a long sigh. No one could possibly know how good that floor looked right now. Hardwood and everything. If she could just lie down, just for a minute, thirty seconds, just to close her eyes. Suddenly her whole body jolted awake, and she yanked herself up.

“I cannot go to sleep. Come on, Jaycee Marie.” She shook her head hard, rattling the insides as if her brains weren’t actually attached. Checking her watch, she realized part of the problem was it was winding up to ten o’clock. They had eaten around six, so why did she feel so hungry? Then she remembered she had taken the call with Brent while Derek and Caleb ate. By the time she got back, she’d wolfed down five fries and half of a cold hamburger. No wonder she was starving.

Back and forth the iron went on the fabric as she tugged it to stretch it on the board and then tugged it again. This could take all night, and Jaycee had the thought that she wouldn’t even notice because the bed skirt would just go around and around and around.

“Have you seen the…” Caleb asked, coming into the room, and Jaycee shook her head again to get herself to wake up, or to stay awake, she wasn’t really sure which. “Oh, here they are.”

Her mind began spinning on thoughts of tomorrow. They would need to be back here by seven in the morning to do the final stand-ups. One o’clock meant they would need to be on the road no later than ten. Drive to Chicago. Lines at the airport. What was tomorrow anyway? Friday? Sunday? She couldn’t be sure, and her tired brain had no intention of locating the information.

Finally she set the iron down and pulled the fabric up to inspect it. All the soft-pleated ruffles actually looked soft and pleated. It was a minor miracle, but one she would be eternally grateful for. Pulling herself to her feet which screamed in pain when she did, she limped over to the box springs and unfurled the thing. Once it was on, she went to find the guys because even her normal determination could not get that mattress moved into place.

In the bathroom, she found Derek leaning over the sink, working on the faucet, tools dripping from his belt.

“Um, if you guys could come in here and get the mattress,” she said, and he spun up as if he hadn’t heard her come in. She pointed to the bedroom. “I got the bed skirt on.”

“Oh. Great. Okay.” He straightened and strode out past her, his nailbags clinking against his leg. “Caleb, let’s get this mattress on so Jayc can finish the bed.”

Why did she so want to cry when he said that? But she breathed that down and followed them into the room.

“One, two, three,” Derek said, and together, they lifted the mattress and set it into place.

“Thanks.” She barely got the word out. Weak though it was, she pushed it out of herself as if it was not.

“Sure thing.” At the door, Derek went back past her as if she had somehow become invisible, and Jaycee leaned there, letting the doorframe hold her up for another ten seconds.

Sheets. It was strange how certain parts of her continued to work even as other parts shut down. She checked her watch. Just after ten o’clock. If they were lucky, they would be out of here by eleven. It was a twenty minute drive back to the hotel… She couldn’t get herself to think beyond that. Sheets. Get the sheets.

Where were the sheets? Did they have sheets? Crazy how her mind started playing tag with itself as she looked around the room. Stairs some part of her said, and then she remembered. It took a push and all her strength to get her off of that doorframe, but then she was up and moving again by some power other than her own.

When she got to the little laundry room by the stairs where the last of their purchases lay, she looked at the small stack and wondered why she was standing there. Sheets. Oh, yeah, it was sheets. Realizing she might as well get as much of what was left into the apartment as possible, she grabbed up the sheets, the plastic container with the comforter and two of the pillows. True, maybe she shouldn’t have tried to carry so much, but the parts of her still operating properly said it would save a trip.

Back through the apartment she went, noticing just in passing that Caleb was wiring the light in the living room and Derek was still working in the bathroom. Just get it done, Jaycee. They’re working too. Don’t be the weak link.

In the bedroom, she dropped everything but the sheets to the floor and ripped into the little plastic bag. The strangest thing was how much thought and energy each thing took. Take the sheets out. Lay the pillowcases on the chair. Unfold the sheets. Really she should probably iron them, but that thought passed so quickly she barely heard it. One corner, second corner, third corner. By the fourth, she had to pull, yank, and pray before it went on, but victory tasted sweet.

With a breath she pulled out the flat sheet, unfurled it and got it, too on the bed. Knowing how picky he could be, she did her best for it to be perfectly even on all sides. The queen bed made that less than easy, but the last thing she wanted was to have to make the thing again. Comforter. It, too, came out of the bag just as Derek and Caleb came in.

“We need the rest of the pillows from by the stairs,” Derek said as he unclipped his nailbags and laid them on the floor. “Everything else is done. Here.” He stepped up, and Jaycee considered quitting right there. They had gotten all of their tasks done. She was the one keeping them from going home.

With the comforter on the bed, she headed for the pillowcases and the iron. There was no way that would go unperfected. Kneeling down at the iron, the jab in her bad knee went right through her, and she turned and sat down hard on the floor. “Ugh.”

“You okay?” Derek asked from where he was setting up the night stands.

“Yeah. Fine.” Willing that to be true and for her knee to stop throbbing, she went to work on the pillowcases. Ironing in her sleep was more challenging than she had anticipated, and it took far more time than it should have to get them both done. By the time she finished the second one, Caleb had brought in all of the finishing touches—such as throw pillows and the footer blanket—from by the stairs.

“I can’t believe we’re going to get out of here before midnight,” Caleb said as the two men finished making the bed. “I thought we were looking at all night around six.”

“You and me both.”

Jaycee gave the second pillowcase to Caleb and struggled up to her feet. Feet, ankles, knees—even her good one—everything hurt.

Another fluff to the pillow, and Derek stood back. “What do you think?”

Truly it was amazing what he could do with some paint, a painting, and a few fabrics. Jaycee shook her head. “Perfect as usual. Kathleen is going to love it.”

“Let’s hope so.” Derek clapped his hands, jolting Jaycee so hard, her heart skipped. “Let’s get that desk in here, and clean up so we can get home.”

Honestly, by the time they did, it was closer to midnight than not. Derek was done for. It had been a taxing day as so many of their final days were. In the car, he leaned his head back and let out a breath.

As Jaycee drove out of the neighborhood, she glanced over at him. “Tired?”

“Exhausted,” he replied. “Remind me to add a day or two to my estimate next time.”

“Duly noted.” She drove to the first light and turned left. “Katie sent me the specs for the next one. You awake enough to go over them?”

He let his head go to the side as fatigue took over in earnest. “Can it wait until tomorrow? I don’t think I can even think straight enough to make any sense of it.”

She wound her lips under her teeth. “Yeah. No problem.” Glancing over at him again, she nodded. “Why don’t you catch a few until we get back?”

With that his body began to relax. “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

Breathe, Jaycee. Gripping the steering wheel as they sat at the red light, she willed her body to stay awake. Five minutes, and they would be home, or as home as they ever were. She checked the clock 11:42. Trying to find something to do so her mind wouldn’t just shut down completely, she looked over at him. He was already asleep or doing a very good impression of it.

Truly it felt like a million years had passed as she looked back at the light and then down at the clock. 11:42. Maybe she was dreaming. Maybe she had gone to sleep and this dream would just stay stuck on 11:42. Shaking her head to get it to clear, she reached down and turned the air on. That helped but not enough.

The light changed, and she glanced down, still 11:42. Maybe it would just stay that way forever. Maybe it was stuck. Maybe… Her eyes went closed, and she felt herself falling. Instantly she came wide away and jerked her head hard. ”Stay awake,” she commanded herself. “You have a wreck out here, you won’t have a job anymore.”

Thankfully, she had the presence of mind to say it to herself rather than out loud.

Two more blocks and the hotel came into view, and she breathed her thanks. At the funny little U-turn she had to do each time, she braced because she could hardly tell how far she was from actually being in the on-coming lane. Cars and lights flashed by behind her, and fear cascaded into and over her whole being. Then there was the tiniest of breaks in traffic, and she practically floored it to get across the lanes and onto the hill of the parking lot.

The jolt of the car scraping bottom cracked through the stillness, jarring him awake. “Wow.” He sat up and looked behind them. “What was that?”

She managed a breath and a smile. “We’re here.”

“Are you sure? I think you left part of the car back there on the curb.”

There was no humor left in her, so it was smarter not to respond. Instead she parked, turned off the car and started gathering her stuff.

He stretched and yawned. “What a day.” Letting his arms drop, he looked over at her. “So six?”

11:42 was all she could think, so she just nodded and said, “Yeah.”

Getting out of the car slowly and stretching again, he waited for her to get all of her things from out of the back. “Got it?”

“Yeah.” She slammed the door with a kick and barely held her balance for the boots. Her body was shutting down in earnest now so that every step was made by willpower alone.

He unlocked the outer door and held it for her. Thank goodness, or she might have just curled up on the sidewalk and slept there. At the elevator, he pressed the button and stood back, and she caught the slight sway of his body. He was tired too. She couldn’t be mad after all, he had done all the physical work. All she did was iron a bed skirt and a couple pillowcases. Into the elevator they went, and she fought not to let herself slump on the mirrors there.

The best she could do was wrench her eyes open so they wouldn’t close, so trying not to be obvious, she did so several times. Finally the doors opened, and he held it for her.

“That bed is going to feel good tonight,” he said.

“No kidding.” She passed his door, leaving him there.

“Six?” he asked again.

“Uh, yeah.” Juggling her things, she dug for her own little key-card.

“K. I’ll see you for breakfast.”

“I’ll be ready.”

And with that, he went into his room, and the door snapped shut leaving her all alone. The key-card wasn’t in the first zipper of her purse, so she unzipped the next one and searched there. “Oh, come on.” Overwhelm started enveloping her. “Where is that thing?”

Two more pockets and she dropped the rest of what she was holding to the floor. If she didn’t get into that room in the next ten seconds, this was not going to be pretty. Finally she located the thing in the first pocket she had searched. She unlocked the door, dragged her stuff in, and dumped it right there in the entry way. She was starving, and she really needed a shower. However, the mistake that got her was sitting down on the bed to pull her boots off.

That was the last thing she remembered.

Chapter 5

Derek was up by 5:30. The shower felt good, and in no time at all he was packed and ready to start the next adventure. He checked his watch. 5:58. She would be knocking any minute now. Quickly he sat down to pull his boots on, thankful that today they weren’t work boots. He needed to talk with Brent about beefing up the crew on the last night. True that might bring its own type of stress, but hiring a couple of stagers to stay wouldn’t be the worst thing on the planet.

When they’d started the show, it was important to him to do everything, to have control of all of it. But that was when they were doing a show a month, not one every two or three weeks, which really had gotten kind of insane. Going to the mirror, he raked his fingers through his hair. He needed it cut, and the make-up people were going to love him today. Oh, well, not much he could do about that now.

He checked his watch again. 6:05. Strange. That wasn’t like Jaycee at all. For a moment, he debated on what he should do, and finally he decided that going over to get her wouldn’t be such a bad thing. He could give her a hard time about playing hooky. Out the door, leaving his things in his room, Derek went, being sure to remember his own key-card. At her door, he knocked, his head coming up with funny things about what she was doing that made her so late.

However, as he waited the funny things began to turn into concern and then to outright worry. He reached up and knocked again, glad they were at the far end of the hall with only the laundry facilities on the other side. “Jayc? Hey. You in there?” Knocking again, he began to wonder about his options and just what he should do if she didn’t answer.

Her body jerked and jolted, and Jaycee sat up in panic. Where was she? Why was the light on? A hotel. With her mind spinning through the questions of where she was and what day it was and what was going on, she heard the knock again, and sheer horror overcame her with a rush. “Oh, my…”

Jumping up from the bed, her foot caught the edge of the boot lying there and her ankle twisted precariously. “Ow. Ugh. Ow.” Her breaths of pain dragged her to the door where the knock, this time louder and far more firm, sounded. “Ow. Ugh.” She wanted to get herself together before she opened it, but there simply wasn’t time. Swinging it open, she put her gaze down and turned back for the room, limping with each step. “I know. I’m late. I heard you.”

One look at her and one glance at the state of her room, and Derek felt like he’d taken a punch to the gut. “Jayc? What…?”

“I know.” She held up both hands even as she limped over to the bed, picked up the two boots and threw them at but not really into the suitcase. “I’m late. I fell asleep. I didn’t set the alarm.” At the suitcase, she tossed clothes one way and then the other. “What am I going to wear? I should’ve done laundry last night.”

Derek wasn’t at all sure what was disconcerting him more—her, the room, or how disheveled her whole life seemed. “I didn’t know you hadn’t woken up. I would have come.”

But with a set of clothes in hand and headed for the bathroom, she held up her hand again. “This is not your fault. It’s mine. Give me five minutes. I won’t be beautiful, but maybe I can get to presentable.” And with that, she shut the bathroom door.

Standing there staring at it, Derek had no idea what to say to that. He glanced over at the little alarm clock and onto the mess of a bed. She was still in the same clothes from the night before. She hadn’t even changed. Then he realized not only had she not changed, she hadn’t even packed.

With a check of his watch, he knew whether he liked it or not, he needed to help her get that way because they were pushing it as it was. So he went back to the entry way where a heap of her stuff was lying. That was as good a place to start as any.

“Great, Jaycee. That’s just great,” she said to her reflection as she wound and wound her hair into a tight bun at the base of her neck and secured it there with a metal clip. “Just what we need. Make a complete idiot of yourself in front of Derek West. He’s your boss for crying out loud. You look like you just rolled out of a coffin. Good grief.”

The soft yellow top with the Peter Pan collar and cute buttons would have to work. With it and the black pants on, she feathered her fingers through her hair to pull out just the front few strands which framed her face. Make-up was next, and it was a blessing she didn’t wear very much. She brushed her teeth at the speed of light, and in no time at all she was picking up her bathroom things to face the humiliation once again.

Then again, he was probably long gone, watching sitcoms in his room, waiting for her and telling himself what idiots they were for even hiring her in the first place. However, when she opened the door and stepped out, the first thing she noticed was that the heap by the door was gone. In fact, it was all folded and stacked neatly on a chair standing there from the kitchenette. In concerned confusion, she trekked into her bedroom and found him standing over her suitcase, folding her clothes.

“Derek?” His name came out with a panic she hadn’t meant, and he jolted up straight and spun.

“Oh. Sorry. I didn’t hear you. Um. I was just…” Carefully, he laid that piece of clothing into the suitcase. “You weren’t packed, so I thought….”

Wow. One part of her really hoped this was a continuation of the nightmare from the night before. “I’m really sorry,” she said, shaking her head and letting her gaze fall and catch on the carpet. “I guess I was more tired than I thought.” She stepped past him to the suitcase as he stood there, shadowing her so closely she could smell his cologne and looking really out of place not to mention so gorgeous she was having trouble forgetting every stupid thing her heart always said about him when he came into a room.

“I hope you don’t mind,” he said, his husky voice softening on the apology. “I just thought…”

“Mind?” Jaycee laughed. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have been ready.” And now she was rearranging her suitcase for no other reason than the thought of him seeing it be out of square was about to send her right off the edge. Quickly she threw the clothes from the day before in, pushed them in, closed and zipped the thing. “What time is it anyway?”

True alarm hit her when she saw the clock. “Oh, my gosh. We’ve got to get. Shoes?” She knew the boots were out of the question and so where her tennis shoes. It was heels or barefoot. Going into the other room where she had ditched the heels two nights before, she pulled them on, willing her foot, ankle, and knee to stop with the complaining already. She wasn’t enjoying this either.

“We could call Cliff,” Derek suggested, following her and looking at her with concern she knew she didn’t deserve. “Tell him we’re running late.”

“No.” Jaycee stood, barely breathing down the pain that raced up her leg in jabs and stabs. “I’m ready. I think. If you are.”

Derek wasn’t at all sure what to think. First of all, she still looked discombobulated, even though outwardly no one would probably even know. Second of all, he could tell in this state she was wobbly, which did nothing for his confidence in the day ahead. “Are you sure? An hour wouldn’t…”

“No. We’re supposed to be on the plane by one. We don’t have an hour.” At that she went back and jerked her suitcase off the holder.

Suddenly he hated what his crazy schedule was doing to her. Why had he never noticed this before, or was it just an aberration and this was the first time?

“Are you packed?” she asked, the words hard and worried as she put the thing on the ground and pulled out the handle.

“Uh, yeah. I just have to grab my stuff.”

“Okay. Great. Well, so am I.” At the door, she grabbed up her things from the night before and made one last check of the room.

“I could carry something if you need,” Derek said, standing at her door, looking down at her, and not moving.

She laughed. “Nah. I’ve got it. Really. Just get your stuff. We can grab some Pop-Tarts for the road.”

Although he did as she said, the concern never left Derek. Had he not seen the before and after pictures, he would never have guessed the before. True to her word, she only let them swing through the little dining room, and Derek gathered himself some food while keeping a watchful eye on her. How could she do that so seamlessly? She looked locked and ready to take on the world.

“Ready?” she asked, coming back to him, a muffin and a milk in hand.

“Uh, yeah.” He noticed once again how she juggled the work things and her suitcase. “I really could carry something for you.”

“What?” she asked, smiling back at him brightly. “You don’t trust me anymore?”

It wasn’t that, but it was something. He was almost sure of it.

They made it to the house only a minute-and-a-half late, and Derek was sure Cliff didn’t even notice.

“So are we ready for the big reveal?” Cliff asked as the two of them walked up.

“As we’ll ever be,” Jaycee said. Her cell phone beeped, and she took it out and looked at it. “It’s Katie. I’ve got to take this.”

Cliff looked at Derek. “Let’s get you in make-up and wrap this thing up.”

“That’s a wrap! Thanks everyone!” Jaycee called to the crew at just before ten. For one blessed second, she let herself have a moment of downtime. Then she picked her spirit up and went across the lawn to Cliff. “I guess we’ll see you in Fairmont.”

“I’ll be there.”

“Okay. Let us know if post has any issues.”

Cliff nodded. “Will do as usual. Get our golden boy there safely.”

“Will do.” She saluted him playfully, and checklist in hand, she strode across the yard to where Derek was talking with Gene and Kathleen. Her ankle still hurt and her knee was worse, but she knew the mantra as well as anyone who had ever said it. No pain, no gain.

“Oh, Jaycee,” Kathleen said. “Thank you so much.” She hugged Jaycee, and Jaycee returned the hug in surprise. “I love it. It’s amazing.”

“Well, Derek did it,” Jaycee said, and stepping over next to him, she put her hand on his back. “He is amazing.”

His gaze came down to hers, and she couldn’t quite read the look in his eyes. “Don’t let her fool you. That painting you love so much was all Jaycee. We couldn’t have done it without her.”

“Yes, they could have,” she said, ripping her gaze from his to put it on them. “Don’t let him fool you.”

“Well, it is very beautiful, and we are most appreciative to both of you,” Gene said, shaking first Derek’s hand and then Jaycee’s. Then he stepped over to Kathleen and put his arm around her. “I think now we can get on with the next phase of our lives.”

“We’re glad.” Derek took a step back away from them and picked up his hand. “Take care.”

“You too.”

And with that, they turned for the little white car. Three steps, and Jaycee spun the top page of the checklist. “I think maybe we could grab something fast, eat it on the way. I’m hoping we’ll have a little time at the airport to…”

“Why don’t I drive?” Derek suddenly asked, walking right next to her, and she very nearly tripped from looking up at him so fast.

“Drive?” she asked as if she didn’t know what that word meant.

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “It’s a nice day. We’ve got the GPS. How lost could I possibly get us?”

However, Jaycee’s mind questioned if it was still in fact 11:42. Was she sleeping? Dreaming? What was happening? “No. No. That’s fine. I’m not…”

“Seriously Jayc.” At the car, he went around with her to the driver’s side as she wondered what in the world had gotten into him. He never wanted to drive. Still, somehow he was standing there, holding out his hand.

“Keys?” he asked with an authority to his voice that he only used with the crew.

She shook her head, keeping her gaze down between them. “Derek, really. This is…”

He lowered his gaze on her like a boom wrecking ball. “Look, I’m not arguing here. I’m driving, and you’re going to let me.”

Feeling like everyone was surely watching them, Jaycee dug the keys out of her pocket and held them, her gaze never quite coming up to his. “Derek?”

When she finally gathered herself together enough to look up at him, it was only then that she realized how close he was standing to her. Heat flooded her body, and she took a self-conscious step backward still holding onto the keys. What was everyone else going to think? Her glance took in all the yard where the camera crew was winding up. At least it didn’t look like they were all staring or even looking.

“So, are you going to give them to me, or are we going to stand here all day?” he asked with his hand still out.

A breath and she shook her head. “Fine. You can drive, but we have to be there no later than 11:30….”

Taking the keys, Derek nodded. “We will be.” He opened his door while she went around to hers. “You want to stop and get something?”

“Only if there’s something on the way. We really don’t have much time. If we miss that plane…”

“We’re not going to miss the plane. Trust me.” Starting the car, he looked over at her as he adjusted practically everything about the seat and mirrors for his frame which was at least three-quarters of a foot taller than hers. “Tell you what, why don’t you kick those toe-pinchers off and get comfortable for a while?”

She looked down at her feet in horror. “My shoes? Why would I do that?”

“Because I saw you limping around all morning, and I’m pretty sure that’s not a good thing.”

Her scowl said she wasn’t overly pleased with the observation. “I’m fine.” When she wound her arms in front of her, Derek realized this was going to be more of a challenge than he had originally thought. “Look, it’s an hour and a half to the airport. Why don’t you put the seat back and relax?”

“I am relaxed.”

He wanted to laugh, but he figured that wouldn’t go over very well, so he checked his mirrors and pulled out from the curb.

“I’ll program O’Hare,” she said, uncoiling and working with the little GPS. Every movement was deliberate and determined. Somehow he’d never really noticed how true that was, but now he could see nothing else. A few more swipes and touches, and she sat back. “There. That should get us there.”

Next to them her purse rang, and Derek looked down at it. With a dissatisfied sigh, she dug and pulled the thing out. Glancing over at him, she answered it. “Jaycee Lawrence. Yeah, Brent. We just left. Yeah.” She glanced at Derek again. “We’re headed to the airport. No. I just talked to her a little last night. Yeah. I will. Okay. Okay. Bye.” Clicking it off, she put it back in her purse, scrunched down with some anger to the movement and wound her arms again.

He’d driven out to the main road that would take them to the Interstate, and with only a small glance at her, he turned on the stereo and found a station. “You mind country?”

She shrugged though her gaze stayed outside the front windshield.

This was going to be a long trip if she kept this up. Shaking his worry over that away, he focused on the road.

They had barely gotten five blocks when the phone rang again. Frustration gushed out of her as she dug for the thing. “Jaycee Lawrence.” She put her elbow up on the windowsill and anchored the side of her head against her wrist. “Oh, hi, Katie. Yeah, I was going to call you. I went over the profile, and I had some questions.” With that, she turned and dug out her checklist.

It was amazing how she could be right there, two feet away from him and yet in a completely different orbit. Point-by-point they went over the information for the next job. City: Fairmount, Nevada. An older couple. Out-fitting for his disability. Lowering cabinets, ramp in the front, grab bars, bathroom remodel. Derek could already picture the place. It wasn’t their typical remodel, but he liked the less-than-usual ones. They were always a fun challenge. When she clicked off the phone, he looked over.

“Sounds interesting.”

“Yeah.” She chewed on the top of her pen. “She said they’re really sweet, older. He fell and is in a wheelchair now.”

“Tough.”

Nodding, she made some more notes. “Oh, Brent said they’ve got a magazine cover and interview set up for January. The magazine people are going to meet us out there, so when you decide how long it will take to make your magic happen, add a day or two into the consideration for that.”

“Got it.”

“Did we ever decide on the radio show?” Her gaze was only on the papers in her lap, and he noticed she hadn’t so much as relaxed her little toe yet. “We probably need to let marketing know something on that one way or the other.”

“You can tell them I’ll do it.” He mostly wanted her to get through the logistics so she would put the checklist down and enjoy the drive.

“Oh, and they chose the publicity shots for next season. No lemon face.”

“That’s good to know.” Putting on the blinker, he pulled into a fast food place, and she looked up in shock.

“What’re you doing?”

“I’m starving, and I know you are too. That Pop tart couldn’t have gone very far.”

She pulled her watch up and sighed.

“We’re fine,” he said, his gaze staying on her longer than it did in traffic when they pulled up to the line with two cars. “What do you want?”

“I don’t know. Uh, coffee and one of those little egg sandwich biscuit things I guess.”

With a nod, he placed both orders. However, as he drove forward and waited, his gaze drifted over to her again. She was hunched over the paperwork as if the rest of life didn’t even exist.

“Oh, and…” Her gaze came up and over to his so suddenly, he didn’t have a chance to look away. Instantly her face fell into worry when she caught him looking at her. “What?”

Widening his eyes all the way to innocent, Derek shook his head. “Nothing.”

One roll of her eyes and a slight shake of her head and she went back to the paperwork just as the phone beeped again. Reaching for it without looking, she picked it up. “Jaycee Lawrence.”

Derek angled his attention back to driving as she ‘yeah’ed and ‘okayed’ her way through another conversation. When she beeped it off, he waited and then looked over at her.

“Katie confirming the address for the hotel,” she said without ever looking up.

He drove forward to the window and went to reach for his wallet.

“Don’t!” She jumped so hard it startled him. “No. Don’t.” She was digging, searching, zipping and unzipping her purse. “Here.”

The company credit card. He handed it to the lady who took it and shut the door.

“No reason to not expense it,” Jaycee said, making a mark on the paperwork without looking at him.

Coming back, the lady handed him the card which he gave to Jaycee who took it and put it back as if she could do it in her sleep.

“Here’s the coffee.” And with that, the transfer of food and drinks into the car commenced.

He was glad when she finally folded up the paperwork and took her food. “Thanks,” he said to the lady and then said, “You too” to her “Have a nice day.” And once again, he pulled out into traffic.

“Maybe I should drive,” Jaycee said with even more worry than before. “So you can eat.”

“I think I can handle it.” He sent a half-grin her way. “I’m a man of many talents.”

The Interstate proved not too big of an issue owing mostly to the fact that it was Saturday, and the little car sped through the sunshine as if it had no problems at all. As he drove, Derek began to remember how much he had liked this pastime. Just get behind the wheel and drive. It was relaxing, and setting the cruise, he stretched his legs out and leaned back, settling in for the next hour. He tapped his fingers to the beat on the radio and let the breath go out of him as the sunshine soaked into him.

He thought again about the things he needed to talk to Brent about. Including more crew or stagers for the end push because the truth was the marathon the night before was happening on more and more projects. As he considered it, he came to the conclusion that maybe he was pushing a little too much to get things done fast. Yes, fast was important but so was sanity and little things like sleeping and eating.

The glance he took over to her side brought up a smile. She had finally put her head back, and her eyes were closed. His thoughts traced back to the morning and six o’clock. She had been so out-of-control, so not herself. It was hard to fuse the two sides he had seen of her today into one person, and he wondered how much of her he didn’t know about, had never really bothered to ask or think about. Where she was from, what her family was like, if this was the job of her dreams or just a stepping stone. That thought jabbed into him with a ferocity he hadn’t expected.

At that moment the phone beeped and had he been thinking straight, he would have beat the thing to death. However, she came awake before he figured out what to beat it on.

“Jayce Lawrence,” but it didn’t sound overly awake. “Oh.” She sat straight up, swaying with the movement. “Yeah, I have it. Uh. Hang on.” She looked and dug next to her until with a swipe she came up with one paper. “The faucets were Morgan. I can email the numbers if you need them. Uh, yeah. Imanu. The couch and chairs came from them. Celery. The hardwoods? Uh.”

“Elias.”

Her gaze asked and then she transferred that without looking it up. “Elias.”

“Dark mahogany,” he said, knowing she would need the color.

“Dark mahogany,” she said into the phone. “That it? Okay. Let me know if you need anything else. K. Bye.”

“Advertising?”

She laid the phone down between them, already floating back out. “Yeah.”

Derek knew if he said anything more she would stay awake, so he kept his hands on the wheel and his gaze on the road until he felt her stop moving. One glance and he wondered again how much she had taken care of while he slept on the way to every airport and every house they had traveled to in the last year. Too much, he realized, and he added talking to Brent about her and this overwhelming job when he got the chance.

The nap was nice, but it gave Jaycee fits trying to latch back onto the fast lane of life that she normally lived in. O’Hare gave new meaning to the term “fast lane.” Getting off the rental car shuttle, they fought their way through the crowd and stood in line to get through the checkpoint.

“I am seriously going to have to do some laundry when we get there,” Jaycee said, reaching for and barely getting back into professional mode. The heels were about to do her in. She added getting ice for her ankle and knee to the must-do-when-we-get-there list.

“You and me both,” Derek said. “I think I’ve worn these same socks three days in a row.”

Jaycee wrinkled her forehead as she looked up at him.

He shook his head. “Don’t ask.”

“I won’t.” And then she laughed because half of her thought he was teasing and the other half wasn’t at all sure about that.

“So, any idea what this place is like?” he asked as they inched their way up the line.

“Katie said it’s real small but pretty. It’s just outside of Reno.”

“Reno?” That got his attention. “Like the Reno.”

She pointed up at him. “No gambling. We’re there to work.”

“Work.” He put his arms at his middle. “Work. We’re there to work. We’re always there to work.”

Shaking her head, she rolled her eyes. “I’m in so much trouble, aren’t I?”

Smiling down at her, he bounced his eyebrows. “Reno could be fun.”

“Yep. I’m definitely in trouble.” At the front of the line that started the checkpoint line, Jaycee started to get undressed. She hated this part. He went up in front of her. Shoes, devices, purse, carry-on, watch, no bracelets today. She was almost done when she remembered the hair clip, and her mind asked if she had really been that dumb. Apparently so. Reaching back, she released the clip and put it in the plastic carrier before shaking out her hair. Of all the days to think she could put her hair up in a metal clip. Brilliant.

Derek’s gaze slipped back to her and he stopped with one hand pulling off his boot.

“What?” she asked defensively.

“Uh, n-nothing.” He struggled to get his boots off. Finally he got the second one off and pulled off his belt as well. Tossing in his wallet, he took everything to the conveyor line, and Jaycee followed him. “Nothing like standing out in public in three-day-old socks.” Wiggling his toes in the black socks, Derek tipped his head. “The joy of travel.”

“You really should make more money. Then we could get a private jet and we wouldn’t have to worry about this.”

“Hey, I make enough to pay your salary,” he said, but he was clearly teasing.

“Then I should take a pay cut so we could get a jet.” Then she wrinkled her nose. “Never mind. I don’t make enough for that.”

“You know, I’ve been thinking about talking to Brent.” He inched forward in the mass of humanity.

“Oh? About what?”

“Just some changes for next season. I’m thinking about adding either a night crew or a last minute staging crew. Someone to come in like last night and help with that final push.” A step and he stopped. “I used to think if we planned better, that wouldn’t happen, but I don’t think all the planning in the world fixes that final panic push to get things done.”

Why did what he was saying feel so much like a personal indictment of her abilities? “You think he’ll go for it?”

“He will if I renegotiate it into my contract. Contract talks come up at the end of September. I’m already making me a list.” Finally at the conveyor, he put his stuff on first, walked through the scanner, and stepped out to retake his things.

Only half as enthusiastically Jaycee did the same. “So what if he says no?” She got her things and went to where he was to get herself back together again. Derek finished long before she did, so she just threw the clip into her purse. No mirror. No time. No talent. It was better to leave it as it was and hope at some point she could put it into a ponytail.

“He won’t say no. Trust me.”

“We’re at Gate 45,” she said, going over to the wall where the screens were. “And it’s only ten minutes late. We might get to do laundry after all.”

On the plane Derek, thankfully slid the chair back and went to sleep. Jaycee was starting to worry about him. Late nights, early mornings, hour-long drives. That was the part that kept scratching across her gut. She shouldn’t have let him drive, and more importantly, she shouldn’t have gone to sleep. What was she thinking? She wasn’t thinking, and if she wanted to keep this job, she’d better not let that keep happening.

Twining a strand of hair around and around and around her finger, she surveyed the calendar. She penciled in the magazine interview and made a note to let marketing know he’d agreed to the radio thing. Surely that was a call-in thing, something they could do on the road. Elle was already heading out to their next venue, and Jaycee hadn’t had the heart or the brain cells to ask where that might be. The moon wouldn’t surprise her.

Being in the air had one distinct advantage—no cell phone. So after they had leveled off and she had declined the drink for the both of them, she took his lead and pushed her chair back an inch and then another. It was a direct flight, an hour and fifteen minutes. A little nap wouldn’t hurt.

When the plane jostled Derek awake, he opened his eyes and dragged in a breath. He was one second from asking how much longer when he turned and found her sleeping almost completely upright in the seat next to him. The soft yellow of her shirt brought out the soft highlights of her hair, and some crazy part of him very nearly reached over and slipped his fingers into what looked like spun silk. Then he cleared his throat and shook out of that insanity just as she opened her eyes.

She pulled in a yawn that never made it that far. “How much longer?”

Derek checked his watch and stretched his shoulders. “Probably about twenty minutes.”

Sitting there, looking at him, she blinked slowly. He tipped his head and smiled. “I thought I was the only one who ever slept on the planes.”

“I thought so too.”

Reno was much saner than O’Hare although with it being the weekend, that was mostly just a guess. At least it wasn’t as big. That was a real blessing because her leg was getting worse with every step.

“Let’s get the rental and get out of here,” Jaycee said, and then she half-turned to find she was talking to the air. Looking down the concourse, she found him at a slot machine, and she stopped with a wobble on that ankle, which did nothing good for her knee.

When Derek came back up to her, she put her hands on her hips and lifted her eyebrows.

“What?” he asked as if he had no idea. “One slot. I played one quarter slot.” He looked around as they headed down to the rental counter. “You know, I may have to come back up here for an evening.”

“What you do on your time is your business.”

“Ah, come on. Doesn’t playing some black jack sound awesome?”

A bath and a bed sounded awesome. Everything else took a long 10th place to those. At the counter, she went through the procedure, signed what seemed like half-a-hundred papers and was given the keys to four doors and four wheels—she hoped. “Okay.” And then she turned and found him chatting with a woman in funky jeans and a fringed top. Jaycee’s patience came very close to snapping, but she held that back. “He’s the boss, Jaycee. He’s Derek West. You don’t own him. He can do whatever he wants.”

Walking up as she fought to keep the smile on her face, she tipped her head to get his attention when he didn’t see her at first. “We’re ready.”

“Oh. Great.”

“Well, if you come back into Reno, look me up,” the girl said, and Derek presumably answered in the affirmative. However, Jaycee wouldn’t have known that because she didn’t stick around for the latest episode of dial-a-date.

You’re unbelievable, her mind said over and over again, but she kept that to herself. He was a man. A very single, attractive man. And women acted much like magnets to him. She told herself she couldn’t blame them really, so why did it make her so crazy to see him talking to one of them? It was perfectly natural. Imminently natural. As natural as breathing.

“There it is,” she said, her words going more over her shoulder than at him as she headed down the drive to the little green and white van. Crawling inside she did a passing job of keeping her things on her side of the realm of reality so she didn’t intrude on his. Like clockwork, the cell phone rang, and she dug it out. “Jaycee Lawrence.”

“Oh, hey, Jayc. I was just wondering where you were,” Sage said, and Jaycee flipped her gaze over to Derek and pulled her things even closer to her.

“Yeah, sorry. I was going to call last night, but we got behind and it was late.”

“No. No. That’s fine. I was just wondering because I haven’t heard from you.”

“I know.” She transferred the phone to the other ear and ducked her head. “Listen, can I call you back in a little while? We just got in.”

“Oh. Uh. Sure.” Why did her sister not sound quite right?

Jaycee couldn’t quite tell, but she would ask—just not right here with an audience. “Okay. I’ll call you.”

“Talk to you then.”

“K.” She beeped the thing off just as it rang again. The breath was only half full, and she answered it.

“Oh, good, Jaycee. This is Katie. Listen. Slight change of plans.”

“Oh? How’s that?” Jaycee reached for her checklist and had to manhandle it out of the pile.

“Yeah. It looks like the little motel here messed up on the dates, and they have a wedding scheduled for next weekend.”

Jaycee couldn’t see how that was so terrible. “So, we book a different hotel.”

Katie laughed. “Yeah, unless you want one in Reno which is over an hour away, that’s not happening. But I do have a solution.”

“Okay?”

“There’s this little bed and breakfast. It’s about five minutes from town, and it’s got three bedrooms.”

“Not seeing how this is helping.”

“Well, I talked them into you, Derek, and me being here. We can stash some of the crew in Reno on the weekend, and then they can stay in the motel besides that. It’s a drive but they don’t have to be there the whole time like you guys do. We can even put a couple of the crew in my room once I head out if we need to.”

The green van arrived at the rental lot. “This is it, folks. Have a wonderful stay in Reno.”

Wonderful was getting harder to find. “Katie, are you sure there isn’t another option? Surely there’s something else close.”

“Nope. Sorry. Just come straight into town when you get here. Go all the way through and at the last turn, which is Oak Lane, turn right. You’ll come up into the mountain just a little bit.”

“Can’t you give me the address? I can put it on the GPS.” Jaycee made it to the little silver Nissan only then realizing it had two, not four doors.

“Wow, Jayc,” Derek said, his eyes widening on the sight of the little sports car. “I had no idea.”

“Wait. There must be some mistake.” Jaycee let her world of possessions slide to her feet as the green van pulled out of the parking lot.

“Nice ride,” Derek said. He slapped his hands together and rubbed them vigorously. “Reno here we come, baby.”

However, Jaycee had no intention of going to Reno in this car or any other car. “This is wrong. They gave me the wrong car.” She clicked the button to show him it was the wrong car, and the tail lights beeped and blinked as the doors unlocked.

“Looks like the right car to me.”

She put her head back. “We need to go back and get another one.” Pointing across the parking lot to a small neon blue one, she nodded. “Like that one. Or that one. Not this one.”

He bounced his eyebrows at her. “I’ll drive.”

Frustration sank into her. “I don’t trust you.”

“Smart woman.”

Jaycee had a plan for the car, which turned out to be really nice on the inside though she hardly noticed. It had medium gray seats that felt like they wrapped around you. The steering wheel and pedals were clairvoyant in their handling, almost as if they knew where she was going before she did. In traffic, she adjusted the mirrors and sighed. They would only have it one night. She and Katie would take it back tomorrow and get a more sensible one.

Next to her, Derek turned on the stereo and turned it up just a little louder than she wanted. But again she reminded herself, he was the boss. She was the employee. Employees do not go around telling the boss what to do.

“Seriously,” Derek said, “we’ve got to make at least one night where we can just come and have fun out here. Wow. Check out the mountains. Gorgeous.”

“Well, they’re wanting to do the interview and photo shoot here, so I guess we could schedule a little time…”

“Is that all you ever think about? Work? Let go. Live a little. Let your hair down.”

“My hair is down.” She smirked at him. “Besides keeping you in one piece and on schedule is my job, remember?”

“But there’s got to be more to life than work.” He inhaled long and slow.

Her cell phone went off, and Jaycee grabbed it up. “Maybe for you.” Swiping it on, she put it to her ear. “Jaycee Lawrence.”

It was amazing how many yeahs and okays could be in one conversation, Derek thought as he let his gaze go out to the mountains beyond. He could almost smell the freshness of the air even in the car. Cool, even in the late summer day.

“No,” Jaycee said. “Okay. I will. K. Talk to you in about an hour. K. Bye.” She flipped the phone to the center, put both hands on the wheel, and stared straight ahead.

“Brent?” Derek asked when she said nothing.

“Oh.” She pushed the bottom of her glasses up. “No. My sister.”

That dragged Derek’s interest up, and he crossed his arms and twisted to look at her. “So how many siblings do you have anyway?”

The look she gave him would have sent him back to his corner except for some reason he really wanted to know.

“Two.” Reaching down, she adjusted the air. “A sister and a brother. Can you program this GPS for Fairmont? I forgot to.” She hit two buttons on it as if she hadn’t just told him to do it. “I hate these things.”

“Here.” He picked her hand off the GPS and laid it on the steering wheel. “You drive. I’ll figure this thing out.”

And he did. They found the highway and headed south.

“You know, if you want to take a little nap,” Jaycee said with a glance over at him.

“Nah. I’m good.”

She wound her lips into her teeth to keep from saying something she would surely regret.

“I thought the Smith house turned out good,” he said, and somehow he pulled one ankle up and onto his knee without smashing either of them into the dashboard. “I think they’ll be happy with it.”

“I’m a little nervous about this next one. Wheelchair stuff. I don’t know much about that.”

He squinted as he thought. “I’m sure we’ll be lowering stuff, but I don’t really know what else it will get into.”

“I think the profile is back there.” She glanced into the tiny backseat to her stuff. “If you want to look…”

“Nah,” he said again. He lifted his chin. “So how’s the ankle?”

Great if he hadn’t reminded her. “Oh, you know. It’s fine.” Then, if for no other reason than to get him to stop asking questions about her, she remembered about the bed and breakfast. Not wanting to spring that on him, she let out a breath as they left Reno in the rearview. “Yeah, I guess there are going to be several things about this one that will be a little different.”

“Oh, yeah? Like what?”

“Well, I didn’t really ask everything, but this place sounds really small. Like really small. There’s only one hotel, and it must not be very big.”

With a half-shrug, Derek shook his head. “We’ve stayed in some questionable ones before.”

“Yes. That we have, but Katie said they got the dates mixed up so there’s a wedding while we’re there.”

His gaze said he didn’t see the problem.

“So.” Jaycee let out a long breath. “She got us rooms at a bed and breakfast in town? It’s like just a couple of rooms or something like that.”

“A couple? Where’s the crew staying?”

She knew where this would go. “Well, in the hotel until the weekend and then they’re going to Reno.”

Instantly coming to life, Derek slapped his hands together. “Now we’re talking.”

Jaycee put her blinker on and passed two slow-moving vehicles. Finally she gave up the chaperone role. “I guess if you want to go, I can get Katie to get you a room there too.”

Concern swept the enthusiasm down with one brush. “You wouldn’t go?”

She glanced at him but only that. “I have work to do, remember?”

“We’ve seriously got to do something about you working 24-7.”

As she drove, she shrugged. “It’s my life, and really, it’s not so bad.”

Into and through the little town of Fairmont they went and at the far end of town, Jaycee slowed down to read the street signs which were less street and not even really signs. Oak Lane.

“Wow. This is something else,” Derek said, shifting around in his seat to take in the area.

“Yeah. Katie said it’s The Wild Rose. She said you can’t miss it.”

“Bet it’s that one up on the right.” He pointed into the trees, and Jaycee headed that way.

Sure enough. The Wild Rose Bed & Breakfast came into view. It was less bed and breakfast and far more cabin. Pulling the little silver car into the driveway, Jaycee let out a sigh. “Well, we’re here.”

“Home sweet home.”

Chapter 6

Jaycee could hardly get them signed in fast enough. She needed to call Sage. The drive had taken more than the hour Katie said it would, and she’d already put Sage off twice. “Thank you,” she said to Mr. Thompson, the caretaker of the place. Taking the key over, she handed one to Derek. “We’re through there and up the stairs.”

He picked up his carry-on. “Lead the way.”

Considering she didn’t really know where she was going, that would be difficult, but that had never stopped her before. Through the entrance and into a grand room with a ceiling that soared well over two stories above them they went. The fireplace was flickering which felt strangely nice in the cool mountain air. The stairs wrapped against the back wall and disappeared up onto a second story balcony. Her ankle and knee were beginning to protest once again, but she told them to shut up because there were more important things to worry about. Up the stairs she went, dragging and carrying her things.

“Here.” Three steps up, Derek reached down and arrested control of her carry-on.

“I can get it.”

“I already got it.” He lifted his chin. “Go.”

She hated being told what to do, but she didn’t have much of a choice. On the second floor, three rooms were fanned out. “I’ve got the Tahoe Suite.” That door was the first they came to, and she fitted the key and pushed the door open, hoping this wasn’t going to be too bad. However, bad was nowhere in sight as she walked into the room.

It was every bit as big as the hotel suites they’d stayed in over the years, and off to the side was a door she went to explore as she dropped her things near the table at the entrance.

“Wow.” Her eyes widened to saucer-size when she stepped into the bathroom. “Look at this tub!” She went to it and ran her hand over the soft finish of the Jacuzzi. “Okay, you can go to Reno for as long as you want. I’m staying right here.”

Standing at the double doors that led back to the bedroom, Derek laughed. “I may never see you again.”

“That is not a lie.” Suddenly she straightened and snapped her fingers. “Laundry. I’ll go find out about the laundry. You get settled.” She strode out past him, leaving him standing in the middle of her room. “And I’ll see what they’ve got for supper too.”

“You could just…” But Derek knew even as he started it that she was on a mission, and arguing or presenting an alternative to that mission was all but pointless. Picking up his carry-on, he put it over his shoulder and went to find his own room even as his gaze took in the lofted wooden ceiling and the window off to one side. Someone had done a good job of designing and decorating.

Down the hall which turned into something of a balcony when you got far enough down it, he found his own room. The Starlight. Corny, but he wasn’t going to complain. At least it was quiet and in all honesty, cozy. He just hoped that Katie hadn’t fallen in love with the place, not thinking of issues like laundry and meals. The last thing he wanted was to make Jaycee more stressed than she already was.

The light blue, navy blue, white and punches of red in his room were every bit as nice as Jaycee’s but with a more masculine feel. He went in and put his carry-on down. His en suite bathroom was about the same size as hers but his was done mostly in tans and browns. “Nice.”

If they had hot water, it wouldn’t be a bad couple of weeks at all. He’d just made it back out to the main bedroom when the knock sounded on his door. Going to it, he knew who it would be long before he got there. “Can I help you?” The smirk was the only thing that softened the sarcasm as he put his forearm up on the door.

“Just wanted to let you know, they do have laundry. Downstairs and on the other side of the kitchen. Mrs. Thompson said they can cook breakfast whatever time we need it. We’re on our own besides that, but we can have the kitchen because nobody else will be here while we are.”

“Sweet.”

“There’s only one washer though, so why don’t you get your stuff going? I can do mine later.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. No problem.” She seemed about to leave but then spun back around. “Oh, and she said there’s a few places in town we can do dinner and lunch if we want. I didn’t know if you wanted to try that tonight, or I could run in and get some groceries. We could maybe make something here. Katie said there’s a store…”

His arm slid down. “Why don’t we just go in and grab something tonight, scope out the town, get a feel for the place?”

“We?” she asked and then swallowed that question. “Uh, Katie already headed out. She’s got relatives not too far from here.”

Derek shrugged. “Well, then I guess ‘we’ is you and me. You’ve gotta eat, right?”

“Uh. Yeah. Right. I’ve got to eat. Okay.” She suddenly seemed to be going in six directions at once. “But I have to call my sister, and I’d really like to change.”

He laughed. “Well, you’ve got the car keys, so why don’t you do what you need to do, and then come get me? I’ll go do some laundry and maybe change my socks.”

Jaycee wound her top lip under her teeth to keep from laughing, and it amused him that she was amused. “Okay. Okay. I think that can work. Then I’ll just be back in a while.”

“Take your time.”

“Okay.”

Her own room was like taking a real breath, and Jaycee bounced up onto the taller-than-normal bed. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed the number. Worry cascaded over her as she rolled over. It was the fanciest bed she had ever laid on, and one of the softest too.

“Hello?”

“Sage? Hey. It’s Jayc. What’s up? You sounded stressed.”

“Uh. Yeah. A little bit.”

“What’s going on?” Jaycee pulled up to the pillows and propped herself there before stuffing a pillow under her knee to let it rest a minute.

“Well, I don’t want to worry you or anything, but have you been watching the weather?”

“The weather?” She wasn’t sure what that would help anything. They were 2,500 miles away from each other. “No. I can’t say I have. Why?”

“Oh. Well, there’s this thing, out in the Atlantic. They’ve got all kinds of models about where it might go.”

“Thing?” Jaycee sat up straighter. “What? Like a hurricane?”

“I don’t think it’s that yet, but like a tropical something or other.”

“Depression? Storm?”

“Yeah. Something like that.”

Jaycee could hear the concern loud and clear. “How far out is it? When are they predicting it will hit?”

“Well, one says one thing and another says another.”

“But Luke’s there, with you?”

“He headed into Greely earlier to get some wood to board everything up if it gets bad.”

Vats of worry poured over Jaycee. If Luke was concerned enough to be getting wood, that was not a good sign. “Can you guys not just pack up and go farther inland?”

“Well, we could, but Dad and Luke keep saying there’s nothing to be worried about.”

“Then why is he getting wood?”

“Exactly,” Sage said. “That’s what I said. But he said it’s just a precaution, that we want to be prepared.”

A concerned sigh slid out of Jaycee. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Pray?” her sister’s voice squeaked out.

Jaycee nodded, serious and worry twining together. “Okay. I will do that. You keep in touch and let me know if I can do something.”

“I will.”

The conversation ended soon afterward, and Jaycee sat and stared at her phone. A hurricane? But hurricanes were unpredictable. They could hit practically anywhere, but even an indirect hit could be major. She pulled the weather up on her phone and searched for North Carolina hurricane, but that only brought up old ones. Well, she needed to keep better tabs on the situation. It could be five days to a week out. At least she thought it could. She was hardly a hurricane expert. “Dear Lord, please be with them, and let this hurricane thing go way around them.”

With that, she got up and headed to the beautiful bathroom. He had said not to hurry, and she was going to take him up on that. A bath sounded like an awesome idea.

When they were both ready and Jaycee had a load of laundry in, replacing his that was now in the dryer, they met outside their doors and headed down.

“This place is really beautiful,” Jaycee said, her arms wrapped around herself as her gaze went up to the soaring wooden ceiling that looked like a pieced-together masterpiece. “It’s so mountainy.”

“Mountainy?” Derek looked down at her. “Is that a word?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know, but that’s what it is.”

Out the door and down to the little silver car they went, and Jaycee immediately went to the driver’s side where she hit the little button to unlock the thing. “So what’re you hungry for? Burgers?”

“Steak,” he said with a grin.

Rolling her eyes, she got into the plush car. “You and your steaks. I’m surprised you don’t turn into one.”

“What can I say? My mama raised a meat-and-potatoes man.”

With her hair once again back in a ponytail and her one pair of jeans under a longish turquoise top, Jaycee felt more herself than she had in forever. As they pulled out, she made sure her phone was in her pocket. If she got the chance, she wanted to check up on that tropical storm that was making her sister so very nervous.

In a minute and a half, they were in downtown Fairmont. The quaint little town was precisely one thoroughfare wide. Only tiny little streets jutted out from the main one that was lined with graying wooden buildings. A few of them had lights on them blinking with Open signs.

“Well, it looks like we’ve got The Wild Turkey, The…” She squinted to read the next sign because it was in scrolling letters that faded with the sunset. “Parachute… Para… Something. The Cattle Barn? Uh. No. I’m thinking not that one. Scratch that. Or The Wrong Way Diner. Wow. Okay then.” At the other end of the town, Jaycee swung into the hotel parking lot, immediately seeing why there had been a problem. The light was blinking though she wasn’t sure it was supposed to, and the railing on the top floor looked very near collapse. “Wow.”

“You got that right. But look at that.”

Out his side of the car, the sun burned purple, rose and pink into the clouds beyond the mountains. A painting that would be there just for that one moment and then relegated to only the memory of it.

“Wow,” Jaycee said again, and this time it was in awe. “Don’t you wish sometimes you could capture that? It’s just….”

His gaze swung over to hers. “Wow?”

She smiled. “Something like that.” Then she reverted back to practical. “So, what’s it going to be? Pick your poison.”

“I’m thinking The Wild Turkey. For one, we can pronounce it. For two, it looked at least mildly inhabited. And for three, I don’t think I want to start with the Wrong Way Diner which would be the obvious second choice.”

Spinning the steering wheel, she checked both ways on the street that had one car coming the other direction. “The Wild Turkey it is then.”

If the food was like the ambience, they were in good shape, Derek thought as they entered. Okay, so it wasn’t a 5-star restaurant like some of those they had visited. It was cozier and more downhome. There was even a fire blazing to the one side, which was good because he had noticed the definite chill in the air when they had vacated the car on the side of the street.

“Two,” he said to the young man standing at the little podium.

“Right this way.”

When they got to a table, which was covered in fake wood veneer, Derek claimed one side and Jaycee the other.

“We have an all-you-can-eat salad bar,” the young man said, handing them menus, “and the soup of the day is Corn Chowder.”

Derek nodded. “Great thanks.”

“Can I get you folks something to drink?”

“Just water,” Derek said.

“Um, do you have tea?” Jaycee asked.

“Yes, Ma’m.”

“Great. I’ll have tea.”

He wrote it down although really that couldn’t be that hard to remember, and then he left.

Curling her hands and arms up in front of her, Jaycee leaned over the table. “See, I told you, mountainy.”

Smiling at her, Derek had to agree. The place was done up like a mountain lodge. Along the wall where the kitchen was, there was a large attic-type space that was crammed with old-timey kids’ wagons, a tricycle, and a doll bed. “Makes you wonder about the people who own it.”

Their drinks arrived and the waiter disappeared again.

Jaycee took a drink. “That wasn’t very nice.”

Surprise jumped on him right up to the point Derek realized how that sounded. “No. I mean, I bet they’re interesting. Can you imagine the stories? Just those things up there. I bet that trike is 70 years old or better.”

Spinning in her chair, Jaycee looked at the menagerie. “Makes me feel like I’m in some old western and John Wayne’s going to walk in any minute.”

Derek laughed. “That’s quite an imagination you’ve got there.”

It was then that the front door opened, and half of him expected John Wayne to appear. However, it was not John Wayne but a gentleman with a guitar in one hand and an amp in the other. The waiter came and took their order while the guy went over by the wooden floor next to the fire place and set up.

“Looks like we might be in for some entertainment,” Derek said when the waiter was gone.

Jaycee tipped her head. “This should be good.” She took a drink, let out a breath, and leaned back. “So, I guess tomorrow we’re off again?”

He leaned forward and nodded. “No sense starting until Monday.”

Nodding, she scratched her arm. “Always makes me a little squirrely to have days off. I never know what to do with them.”

“Really? I figured you’d be camped out in that bath the whole time we were here.”

She laughed. “There’s an idea.” Her gaze slipped around the place. “There’s something so peaceful here. It’s like… slower or something.”

“Slower than Chicago?” He raised his eyebrows. “That wouldn’t take much.”

“Good point.”

In the corner, the musician was tuning up his strings, and Derek lifted his chin that direction. “I’m thinking he doesn’t do hip hop.”

Jaycee laughed again. “I doubt it. But maybe it won’t be too bad.”

The place started filling up about the time their food arrived. Sure enough, the man in the corner was the entertainment for the evening, and the truth was, he wasn’t half-bad although it was just him and a guitar. Jaycee’s nerves started to uncoil at her feet, and when the lights went just lower, she actually started to relax.

“He’s pretty good,” Derek said as he finished the last of his steak.

“Yeah.” Jaycee forked the last of her salad into her mouth, full to the point of ready for a nap. She ate that bite and took a drink. “How was the steak?”

“Great. I haven’t had one this good in a long time.”

“That’s high praise coming from you. So The Wild Turkey is on the list of we can eat here again?”

“Definitely.” He pushed the plate away as the waiter came for the fifth time to fill up their glasses.

“Thanks,” Jaycee said, thinking she was going to float away with this much liquid in her.

“So, what now?” Derek asked. “You going to be ready to go back?”

Of course they should. She should. She had laundry, and she needed to check on the weather. “I don’t know. Maybe we could order some cheesecake or this brownie thing looked interesting.”

Derek took the little menu from her. “Death by Chocolate? Really?”

“You don’t like chocolate?”

He raised his eyebrows at her, put the menu back, and scratched his head. “Okay, but it’s going to take an hour to eat the thing if it’s as rich as it looks.”

With a shrug, she smiled. “What else do you have to do, right?”

Death by Chocolate was more amazing than it even looked on the menu. Derek might love steak, but Jaycee’s weakness was chocolate smothered in more chocolate.

“Wow.” Derek dropped the fork to the empty plate and took a drink. “I think that’s enough chocolate for me for a year.”

Jaycee carefully scraped the last of the chocolate syrup off the plate and licked it off her fork. “Delish… Mmm. That was good.”

With a smile curling under the scruff between his nose and lip, Derek watched her. She felt his gaze and shrank from it. Looking at her watch, she let her shoulders slump.

“So. You about ready? I could get the check.”

Although she had expected him to bounce right up, he didn’t move except for his finger going up and down the moisture on his glass. “I don’t know.” He glanced over to the tiny dance floor that now had a few couples scattered on it. Tipping his head that direction, he shrugged. “You into dancing?”

Her eyes jerked up so quickly, they almost came loose from her body. “Dancing?” she asked in barely disguised horror. “Oh. No. I don’t really…” She glanced over at the little wooden floor as that song ended and the guitarist thanked the audience.

“Oh, come on. One dance,” Derek said. “I promise I won’t step on your toes.”

One dance. Was he out of his mind?

“Then we can go home and finish the laundry,” he teased, and Jaycee felt her chest going warm. When did they turn on the heaters?

Picking up the edge of her glasses, she let out a breath and reached for her tea mostly to stall. It took amazing amounts of effort not to spill the liquid right down the front of her.

At that moment he stood and held his hand out and down across the table to her. “Come on.” He tilted his head toward the dance floor, and Jaycee thought she might actually pass out. In fact, if she could have made that happen, she would have.

Not seeing any way to turn him down, she nodded to herself. Okay. It’s one dance, Jayc. Don’t freak out here. It’s just one, little dance. Just get through it, and we can go home. Putting her hand into his took a supreme act of willpower, and standing from the table took even more because his hand proved to be so warm and solid around hers. “But I’m not very good at this,” she said, cowering behind his advance as he wove their way through the tables, his hand wrapped around hers so she couldn’t have run if she had wanted to. “I haven’t…”

The dance floor was bathed in a soft golden light that made it shine, and when they got there, Derek turned to her and smiled. Gently, he put his hands at her waist, and Jaycee somehow got hers up and onto his shoulders though her gaze wisely chose to stay at their feet.

“See,” he said after a minute. “This isn’t so bad.”

Bad? Was he completely, certifiably insane? This was horrible. This was dangerous. This was crazy.

“You’re pretty good,” he said, his gaze sliding down to her and staying right there.

She whipped her head back, sending her ponytail back and off her shoulder as she looked up at him. “I haven’t done this since high school. The prom. And I was horrible at it then too.”

However, the look in his grayish-green eyes was soft. “I wouldn’t say you’re horrible. A little quirky. Kind of bossy sometimes. But not horrible.”

The compliment or whatever it was drove right down into her heart because she was not at all prepared for him to be so charming. Why that was, she wasn’t sure because she had seen him be charming. More than a few times. Then she wrenched her gaze from his and dropped it between them. What was she thinking? This was Derek West. The Derek West. The man who was practically a household name with more women than she cared to count in their many travels. Just because they were here dancing didn’t change that fact. More to the point, the reason he was even dancing with her was because there was not a better choice in the place.

Thankfully, before she completely humiliated herself, that song ended, and she let go of him and backed away, tucking her hands in her back pockets. “Uh. Thanks.”

However, he didn’t move from the spot as the next song started. “One more, and then we’ll go.”

Why Derek’s heart was begging her to say yes, he had no idea. Maybe he was just tired and bored being out here so far away from the action he was used to. He didn’t know, but he really hoped she wouldn’t turn him down. “I promise.”

It took far longer than a second before head still down, she nodded. “Okay.”

When she stepped back into his arms, breath washed through Derek’s whole body. She felt so good there. Small. Fragile. Nothing like the dynamo he knew her to be. Her head and gaze were still down between them, and he wondered at that. Normally she was the one taking charge and facing down the world for him. Now she looked almost… frightened.

“I like this place,” he said, glancing around.

“Yeah.” Twisting her head back, she looked up at him, and Derek snagged on that look. One more second and she looked away.

His heart did it for him, pulling her closer so that by the time he caught up with what his body was doing, her head was resting on his chest and his arms were tucked around her. Derek glanced down at her there in his arms and swallowed. What was he doing? This was Jaycee Lawrence. They worked together. She wasn’t some girl in some bar that he could say goodnight to and never see again.

Then again, she did feel really good, almost like she was holding his soul instead of just his body. Somehow he couldn’t remember ever feeling something like that before, and he even told his mind it had better come up with a time so he could talk himself out of the crazy thoughts running through every part of him. On the swaying of their bodies together, his eyes closed and he held her as they moved in sync, and at that moment that was all he was able to concentrate on—the curve of her and the sweet smell of her hair and how perfectly right this all felt even though it was so very perfectly wrong.

When the song ended, Derek held her one more second, and then she stepped back as he scrambled for words to explain or to make an excuse for what he knew she must be about to accuse him of. However, before he found them, she pushed up her glasses, looked him right in the eye, and said, “Thanks. So, are you ready, or do you want to stay? I could walk. We’re not that far from the B&B.”

His whole body shook like it was in the middle of an earthquake. So how come she looked so calm and like nothing at all had just happened? “Oh, no. You don’t have to walk. I’m ready.” Ready for what? his treasonous brain asked, but he beat that back. This was Jaycee Lawrence! He couldn’t think that way, and he knew he’d better get a hold on this—whatever it was—before it made him look like a complete idiot.

“I can drive,” he said as back at their table, she collected the bill, and he retrieved his jacket.

“It’s four blocks,” she said over her shoulder as she headed to pay at the front. “I think I can drive four blocks.”

“Just offering.”

She laughed. “Yeah. You just want to drive the Nissan.”

Derek held up both hands in surrender. “What can I say? I’m hooked.”

With one more laugh after she signed the little paper, Jaycee stepped away and dug for the keys from her pocket. “Okay. If you promise no drag racing.”

He snatched the keys from her. “Yes. I promise.”

The chill was more than cool when they stepped out of the restaurant, and Jaycee rubbed her arms to thwart it because she hadn’t thought to bring a jacket. It was a short walk to the car, much shorter than it would have been walking back. Still, she might have been safer that way. She knew her heart would have been. It didn’t help when at the car he unlocked her door first, opened it, and let her in.

Making sure to keep her gaze down, she stepped in and he shut the door. As she reached for and fastened her seatbelt, she gave herself yet another mini-lecture. “Be cool, Jayc. It’s not like that, and you know it.”

When he got in, he rubbed his hands together and went about resetting everything on the driver’s side. “You ready?” he finally asked like a little kid.

“Just home,” she said, shaking her head. “We’re just going home.”

“Fine. Ms. Killjoy. Just home. Buckle up.”

“Trust me,” she said, picking up the seatbelt. “I am.”

Chapter 7

By Monday morning, Jaycee had almost forgotten what it was like to be in his arms. Almost. At weird times it traced across her heart, trying to remind her, but she did at least a passing job of keeping it buried in the little hole she had dug for it.

Even better with a full day of rest and tub time, her ankle was finally recovering though her knee was still less than 100 percent.

“Katie’s meeting us there at nine.” She sipped her coffee while they sat at the tiny table in the breakfast nook dusted with the dim yellow light. “We’ll look over the space, see what your estimate is. Alex and his crew should be here in the morning.”

“Oh, great. Alex.”

“He’s not so bad.”

Derek lifted and then quirked his eyebrow at her.

“Okay. So he’s not Caleb, but who is?” She took another sip as her cell phone beeped in her pocket. Jumping, she retrieved it and checked the caller ID. “Oh. I have to take this.” And with that, she stood from the table and went out to the living room.

Derek followed her with his gaze in puzzlement. She never did that. Usually whatever conversation she was having, he was privy to it because he was usually sitting or working about two feet away from her. Then again, maybe he was just being paranoid. It wasn’t like she didn’t have a life outside of and away from him and the show. Of course she did. Though she hardly ever talked about it and never seemed to give much time to it.

In minutes she was back, sitting down in the light that made her hair glisten and glow.

“Everything okay?” he asked, eyeing her for some hint.

“What? Oh. Yeah.” She waved that off and stuck the phone back in her pocket. “Just… you know… life.” Picking up her cup again, she took a sip. “This is really good coffee. I wonder if they’d let us take some to the job site.”

When they arrived at the house tucked even further back in the mountain than the town was, Jaycee got out of the little car and took a deep breath. It was funny how natural it was to do that here. She wound her arms over the checklist as he unfolded himself from the car. “Interesting, don’t you think?”

He tilted his head with some concern. “Not New York modern, that’s for sure.”

Jaycee took the lead up the small wooden porch where she rang the doorbell. Turning, she took in the landscape that looked like an artist had created it. “Beautiful.”

“Yeah.” Standing there, hands on his beltline, Derek didn’t seem overly excited. In fact, he looked downright concerned.

“Oh, you’re here.” The small lady who came to the door had snow-white hair and stood about four-foot-ten.

“Hello,” Jaycee said, holding out her hand. “We’re here from Home & Hearth TV. Is this the…” She checked her list. “Anderson residence?”

“Yes, yes, honey. It is. Please, come on in.” The woman’s voice was shaky and so were her motions.

The house was older, and mostly wood on the inside. Derek stepped in behind Jaycee who felt like they were giants in Smallville. The ceiling had no height to it at all. It was eight feet, if that. Certainly not like the modern high ceilings they were used to.

“Please, come on in,” Mrs. Anderson said. “Marvin, they’re here from the TV.” She came back to find them standing at the apex between the living room and the dining area. “I’m sorry. We got kind of a late start this morning. Please, please, have a seat.”

In the dining area, Jaycee sat first, followed by Derek who seemed not even in the same room with them.

“Would you two like some coffee or coffee cake?” The woman went into the expansive kitchen that was filled almost completely with a large island in the center of it. “I wasn’t sure how many of you there would be today.” Bringing the coffeecake over, she set it on the table between them. “Would you like some coffee?”

Derek looked at Jaycee as if she would know how to handle this.

“Oh, we had some at the Bed & Breakfast before we left,” Jaycee said. “But thank you.”

“The Wild Rose?”

“That’s the one,” Jaycee said, sensing Derek’s attention slide from them back to the house. Time to entertain the homeowner. Jaycee knew the drill almost as well as she knew how to breathe. “This coffeecake looks wonderful. What’s in it?”

“It’s pumpkin spice. Would you like a slice?”

How could she resist? “Maybe just a small one. I don’t want to put you out.”

“Oh, it’s not putting me out, dear. That’s why I made it.”

Just then thumps came from down the hallway, and they both turned to find a man rolling into the dining room from the hallway.

Marvin. Why they were here. Jaycee smiled brightly. “Hello, Mr. Anderson.” She stood from her chair which was awkward because Derek was between the two of them. Careful not to jar the curio case that stood against the wall, she went over to the older man and put out her hand. “I’m Jaycee Lawrence.”

The hesitation lasted only a split second, but it was felt by every one of them.

“Marvin Anderson.” He shook her hand and looked around the kitchen. “Where’s the cameras?” It was like he was grunting rather than speaking.

Jaycee laughed softly. “No cameras today. It’s just us.” She turned on the toe of her boot and put her hand on Derek’s shoulder. “This is Derek West. He’s the executive producer and star of the show. He’ll be leading the team in the work.”

Another slight hesitation this time by Derek, and then he stood. He looked like a tree next to the old man and his wheelchair. “Derek West. Nice to meet you, Sir.”

The look in the old man’s face was nearly unreadable, but it jangled through Jaycee’s nerves just the same.

“Here’s a plate, dear,” Mrs. Anderson said, coming over with a plate, a fork and a knife.

“Oh, thank you so much.” Jaycee knew she was now committed to eating the coffeecake because this whole project looked about two seconds from tanking completely. She sat as if she was an excited schoolgirl. She waited for her hostess to dish the slice, and she cut into it, fully prepared to fake her delight no matter what it tasted like. Thankfully, it really was very good. “Oh, this is amazing. What’s in it?”

With Jaycee keeping Mrs. Anderson busy with the coffeecake, Derek glanced back over at Marvin who sat there as if invisible. The words took a push and a swallow to get them going.

“This is a very beautiful home,” Derek said, monitoring the women’s conversation going on behind him. Something about pumpkin and vanilla, but he couldn’t follow it.

“Hrmp.” The sound was part groan, part anger. “Built it fifty years ago.” Marvin lifted his hands and then let them fall to the arms of the chair. “Course you’d never know it now.” When his eyes came up, there was mist and resignation in them. “Martha just thinks we’ve got to redo everything because of this here chair, but I keep telling her I’ll make it work.”

“So Martha’s the one who wrote to the show?”

“She watches you all the time. ‘Bout drives me nuts. I’d rather watch one of them game shows that’s actually productive.”

Derek swallowed the slam and kept his eyes evenly on his host. “So you built this place, huh?”

“Yep. I sure did. And not with all them fancy tools you young fellas use either. Sweat and a hammer and some nails. That’s all I had.”

His heart was beginning to understand the reticence in the old man’s demeanor. “Will you show it to me?”

Marvin’s eyes came up in surprise. “The house?”

“Yeah. I’d love to see it.”

“Oh, well, sure. Follow me.”

Jaycee wasn’t totally sure what had just happened because she could only listen that direction with one ear, but suddenly Derek and Marvin looked ready to leave. “Uh?” she asked, wide-eyed, wondering what she should do, what Derek wanted her to do.

However, he looked down at her with a quick wink and a smile as if to say I’ve got this one.

Still unsure and concerned, she sat back, watching him carefully. The two men headed from the dining room into the living room, and instantly Mrs. Anderson jumped up. She took three steps to the walkway, paused, and then sighed. When she sat back down, her eyes were tired and stressed—more even than they had been before.

“Sunken living room,” she said, her hand resting on the table. “It seemed like such a good idea when we were twenty.”

So wanting to go see what the men were doing, Jaycee knew she had to stay put. “So, tell me why you wrote the show.”

“We carried this rock in here on a little wagon thing I built,” Marvin said of the rock fireplace that went all the way to the ceiling and took up the middle third of the room. “Those rocks nearly did me in. I kept telling Martha it would be so much simpler to do a plain one, but she had her heart set on stone, so…” He shrugged. “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

Derek laughed. “So did you do the actual stonework on it? It’s incredible. This had to take days.”

“Ten to be exact. You had to set the stones and let them dry or they’d all come right back down again.” Marvin shook his head. “I didn’t think I’d ever get that thing done.”

“I like the woodwork,” Derek said, moving to the walls which were clad with a soft oak that was still shined to perfection.

“Ordered that stuff special from a mill in California. Can’t even get it anymore.”

“I bet not.” Although the house was old, it was a perfect match for its owners, and Derek began to see that this remodel would be far different than those he normally did. Most of them required upgrades to modern furnishings, ripping out carpet to put in hardwoods, ripping out Formica to put in granite. However, as he followed Marvin around, he began to sense that doing things the normal way would tear the old man’s heart right out. This was his life, the house he had put his heart and soul into. No way was Derek going to rip that out.

“So you were a carpenter then?” Derek asked as he took in the artwork in the room. It all had something religious to it. Paintings of Jesus, crosses, little stitched reminders about how close God was and how much He cared. That too would have to stay somehow because he knew without asking that those were pieces of Martha, lovingly stitched or procured just for this space. Their space, the space they had built their lives in and had shared.

“Yes. Nearly fifty years until I tripped last year. It tore my leg and hip up something awful. We did the surgeries and everything, but… Well, it just got too dangerous for me to be ambulant. Scared me that Martha might be here alone if I ever took a tumble again.”

“And your kids?” Derek’s gaze stuck and stayed on the four pictures lining the side wall.

“All grown and gone now. Only Elizabeth stayed close. She lives between here and Reno. Her husband is a CPA. They’ve got four of their own now. Amazing how fast time flies.” He shook his head. “The others are scattered. One’s in Phoenix. One’s in Dallas, and the other one moved up to Washington State. Good kids, all of them. Good solid kids, good for their communities and churches. We’re real proud of them.”

Curiosity took over as Derek sat on the old, threadbare couch. “So what do they think of all of this? The remodel and everything?”

“At first they thought Mama had lost her mind, but now, I don’t know. I guess they’re excited about it. Elizabeth keeps saying how glad she is because she worries about us all the time.”

Derek nodded fully understanding. Just from the little he had seen, he couldn’t at all tell how Marvin was able to “make it work” as he put it. He didn’t need a tape measure to tell him that kitchen would be impossible, and the two little boards Marvin had traveled down to get into this room took Derek’s heart right into his shoes. “I can tell how important the place is to you, but some of it has to be a pain, right?”

“I have to keep my prayers with me a lot, that’s for sure,” Marvin said with a laugh, “because it does test my patience on a regular basis.”

“I can imagine. Can you show me what things give you the most fits?”

With a sigh, Marvin turned the chair. “Well, these two boards aren’t exactly safe. I always try to remember the roller coasters I liked so much when I was young. Begged my daddy to take me to the roller coasters. Now I get to ride one every day for about four feet.”

Standing, Derek went over to them and sat on his heel, putting his hand onto one of them to test its strength. “I can see that being an issue. So what would you rather do? Make this a slope down into the living room or level out the whole floor?”

It was killing her to not be in there listening to the men, but Jaycee did her best to get Martha’s side of this story. She loved the kitchen but hated that Marvin couldn’t use it. She loved her living area, but Marvin going in and out nearly gave her a heart attack every time he did it. The bathroom down the hall was an issue in and out. In fact, the whole narrow hallway now had bumps and bruises from the wheelchair.

“Don’t get me wrong. I love this house, but like I’ve told Marv, it’s just not working for us like this.”

“What’s the plan for where you will stay during the reno? Did Katie talk with you about that?”

“She said that it will only take a couple of weeks, so we’ve talked with my daughter about staying with her.”

“Is that doable? She has room and everything?”

Martha laughed. “She has four children and a husband.” Then she grew contemplative. “But I also know she worries about us all the time, so this is as much for her as it is for us.”

Jaycee nodded as the men came back in. They never said so much as a word to the women as they went over into the kitchen, and Jaycee noticed how closely Derek watched Marvin. It was as if he was reading the paths of the chair as well as its owner, reading how they interacted with the house. He was so fascinating to watch like this. No wonder America was hooked on him.

“You are a very lucky young lady,” Mrs. Anderson said, nearly under her breath as she put her hand on Jaycee’s arm. “He’s mighty easy on the eyes.”

Heat rushed into Jaycee, and she smiled. “He’s my boss.”

“Doesn’t mean he can’t be nice to look at.”

How could she argue?

Back in the car three hours later, Jaycee glanced over at him. He was quieter than usual, offering nothing in the way of opinions or options. “So, have you come up with a timeframe?”

Derek scratched his head. “This one is going to be so different.”

“Different how?”

He thought through the question before answering. “Have you ever made something? Something really important that was like… you?”

Jaycee arched her eyebrows. “Uh. I’m not sure.”

“You know, like you have something that is so you and then you’re facing giving that up forever?”

Her hands gripped the steering wheel as cheers from a long-forgotten gym flooded her ears. “I don’t know. Why?”

Adjusting himself in the seat, Derek stared out at the mountains beyond. “Marvin built that house.” He picked up one hand. “I don’t mean he had it built. I mean he built it. He picked out every knob, every handle, every piece of wood by hand. It took him four years when they were young working nights and weekends.”

With a serious nod, Jaycee listened.

“That’s not just a house. That’s his life. His crowning achievement, built for his family to have a place to live, to grow up, to come home to. This isn’t going to be go in, rip it out, and start over. I think that would kill him.”

Her glance held all of her concern. “And that means…?”

“That means, we’re going to have to really think this thing through. Not just what’s best for them, but what will make that house still be that house when we get done with it. Like the wood in the living room. Normally, I would tear that out and go with sheetrock, maybe paint it a light yellow or cream to bring in more natural light from those windows. But that’s not going to work here. We’re going to have to replace those windows though. They’re original to the house, and you wouldn’t believe the draft.

“Then there’s the hallway. Let me tell you, that man is a saint because I’d have already put my foot through that wall. It’s way too narrow. So I’m thinking we could take the wall out between the dining room and that hallway. Open it up in there so he’s got three feet of hallway to the bedroom and not nine feet of complete and utter misery.”

“What about the kitchen?”

“It’s honestly in pretty good shape. Okay, not model-show-home shape, but it’s not bad. The problem is the island has to go. He can’t even get around it to the sink or anything. I’m also thinking we could change out the countertop, do a high-low thing so he can have some work space if he needs it.”

They pulled up to the bed and breakfast, and Jaycee parked.

“Okay, so all of that. How long?”

Without getting out, Derek nodded, thought, tilted his head, and thought some more. “You said about the magazine shoot.”

“Yeah, and they called from marketing. They want to send a crew down to grab some quick promos for the Christmas season.”

“And the radio show thing. I don’t know. I’m thinking three or four weeks.”

“What?” She jerked her head around. “What happened to two?”

“Radio shows, promos I have to take whole days to do, wanting a little time to actually remember I’m alive, not to mention not trusting Alex’s crew not to mess something up if I’m not right there?”

Jaycee let her eyes go wide. “What if Brent throws a fit?”

“Then tell him to call me. It’s time to renegotiate anyway.”

On their way into the bed and breakfast, Jaycee’s phone beeped, and she pulled it out of her pocket, looked at it, and stopped on the porch. “I’ll just be a minute.” She swiped it on and turned. “Hey. How’s it going?”

Derek hesitated right there by the door for a second, but she just kept walking out toward the railing that faced the mountains. Concerned but trying not to be, he opened the door and stepped in.

“Well, it’s about time you guys made it back.” Katie stood from the couch and came over to him. She was in her mid-twenties, tall, leggy, brunette. He knew she was working her way up to having her own show someday. They were a stepping stone on to something bigger and better. “Where have you been?”

“The Andersons’. Where else?”

“Well, it sure took you long enough.”

He wasn’t sure if he should apologize or tell her off, so he did neither.

“Listen, Derek.” She glanced at the door. “I was going to tell you. Well, the truth is I have this cousin. She’s amazing. Twenty-nine, never married. She’s a big fan. We were talking and I kind of told her…”

The door opened, and Jaycee came in, her head down over the little cell phone as she swiped at the screen. She was so intent on the thing, she could have tripped and never noticed she had fallen.

“Everything okay?” Derek asked with growing concern as he watched her.

“What?” Jaycee looked up as if not realizing they were standing there. “Oh, yeah. Yeah. Everything’s fine. Oh, hey, Katie. Did you get the groceries?”

“They’re in the kitchen—refrigerator and pantry.”

“Great. Thanks.” And once again Jaycee was back on that phone. A moment, and she looked up again. “Are we having a meeting?”

“Oh, no.” Katie sounded like a Miss America contestant who’d just eaten Frosted Flakes. “I was just telling Derek about the town.”

He checked her with a glance, but she was only looking at Jaycee.

“Oh. Okay. Well, I’ll be in my room if anybody needs me.” And with that, she went up the stairs never taking her gaze off that phone.

Katie waited until Jaycee was gone and then put her hand on Derek’s arm to pull him down onto the couch. “Like I was saying Eva is 29. She’s great. Really nice. I thought since you were in town, maybe I could hook the two of you up. Next weekend maybe when you’re off.”

“I don’t know how much time I’m going to have.”

“It’s one night in Reno. You can’t pass that up. I can even book a show if you want.”

As much as Derek hated to admit it, Katie was right. He wanted to go to Reno, and going out and having a little fun wouldn’t be a crime. So why did his gaze go up the stairs and hold there for the length of time it took him to decide? “Okay. Sure.”

“Yes! Eva is going to be so excited.”

Jaycee needed to eat something especially because after tomorrow, meals would be few and far between. Still as she lay on her bed and swiped back and forth through everything the Internet knew about Hurricane Gabriel as it was now being called, she couldn’t remember anything other than the current air pressure and exact location of the thing. It was still well out in the Atlantic, and the models were predicting landfall anywhere from Virginia down to Florida.

“Oh, that’s real helpful,” she said, focusing on the four different landfall tracks they gave. “Tell me where this thing is going.”

Her phone beeped and she hit the on button. “Have you heard anything?”

“Hello to you too,” Sage said. “No. Just keeping an eye on things and trying to get ready without getting ready. Luke bought us a generator today and a tank for some gas.”

That Luke was quietly freaking out was outwardly freaking Jaycee out. “Why don’t y’all just go inland? Just get out of there? Are Mom and Dad staying?”

“Everybody is as far as I know.”

Everybody. Jaycee hated that word. “Are y’all getting any better info than it might hit from Florida to Virginia?”

“I wish. There’s one track that it completely misses us, and one that’s nearly a direct hit.”

Sighing, Jaycee rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. “I just feel so helpless.”

“Just keep praying. That will help the most.”

“K. I will.”

Checking Derek’s door to make sure it was closed, Jaycee snuck out of her room and shut her door quietly. Down the stairs she went, hoping she wouldn’t run into anyone who would ask where she was going. However, even she knew she couldn’t be that lucky. In the living room, Katie sat on one of the couches reading.

“Oh. Jaycee. Are you going somewhere?”

Jaycee slid her hand up the purse strap, knowing she couldn’t lie. “Just out… for a little bit. Get some air. Stretch my legs.”

Katie nodded. “You’re not going with us to eat?”

“Uh. When are y’all going?”

“Derek said about seven.”

“Oh. Okay. Well, then I’ll try to be back. You have your car, right?”

“I do.”

“Maybe I can just meet y’all there. Where were you going to go?”

“I was thinking The Wrong Way. I heard they have great burgers.”

Putting her hand on her purse strap again, Jaycee nodded. “Then I’ll just meet y’all there about seven.”

“Sounds good.”

With one more glance up the stairs, Jaycee headed out, jumped into the little silver car, and made her way out onto the street. Yes, she could pray in her room. Of course she could. But this felt like it needed more than just a few words whispered behind some closed door. She needed face time, and although it had literally been years, she was really hoping God wouldn’t throw her out when He saw her.

The brown sweater and jeans felt good, and Derek slipped his fingers into and through his hair once more. The thought of if Jaycee would like it went through him, and he corkscrewed his mouth. He really needed to get over those thoughts. It was clear she was only doing a job. If she had been into him, she would’ve acted differently the last two days. The fact that she didn’t told him everything he needed to know.

Going out, he went to her door and knocked because they hadn’t really talked about supper. “Jayc? You there?”

“She went out,” someone called in a sing-song voice from below, and Derek went to the balcony to get a fix on who it was. Below, Katie was gazing up at him. “She left about 10 minutes ago.”

“Left?” Derek went across where the wall blocked the view to downstairs and then descended them. “Where’d she go?”

Katie shrugged. “Don’t know. She just said she was going out.”

“Huh.” He wound his hands under his arms. “That’s weird. Why wouldn’t she say where she was going?”

“I don’t know, but she said we should go on and eat. I was thinking maybe The Wild Turkey. I hear they have really great steaks.”

The building could hardly be called a church. It was four walls and ten pews, but Jaycee was glad for it anyway. With a glance behind her, she slipped inside and ducked as she went down three pews and sat.

How long had it been? Probably the last time she was home, which was what? A couple years ago? Looking up at the huge cross hanging there, she let the apology go through her. “God, I know You know why I’m here. I’m sorry I haven’t been coming. I know that’s rotten of me to just show up now because I need something, but…”

Her head fell with the weight of the words on her heart. “You’ve got to do something about this hurricane, God. I know I have no right to ask that, and I know You can do whatever You want, but please, it just can’t hit them. Sage is there and the kids and Luke and Mom and Dad, and everyone else.”

She wound her lips up under her teeth, feeling the tears building but blinking them back. “I don’t know that much about hurricanes, but if You could like destrengthen it or something? Something… And then there’s Ryder. He’s inland a little more, but…” It was crazy how hard the tears were trying to get out of her eyes. They burned there like sulfur, and she swiped at them. “Please, Lord, please, I’m asking. Please let them be all right.”

“I know you have a lot of pull with Mr. Socroft,” Katie said as they waited for their food. “I was thinking if you could put a good word in for me.”

“I’m sure Brent knows you’ve been doing a great job,” Derek said with a nod. “It just takes a while to work your way up. I know for me, it was like ten years before…”

“But ten years is a long time.”

So was ten minutes, but he wasn’t going to tell her that. He looked at his watch. It was after seven. He wondered where Jaycee was. “Was Jaycee not going to eat tonight? Maybe we should have waited for her.”

Katie shrugged as she sipped her Coke. “Maybe she went to Reno for a night out.”

“Jaycee?” Derek laughed. “I don’t think so.”

“She’s a big girl. I wouldn’t worry too much about her.”

She wasn’t that late. Okay, five minutes, but what was five minutes anyway? Sitting in the little booth in The Wrong Way Diner, Jaycee wondered what was keeping them. She looked at her watch again as the waiter brought her tea.

“Do you want to order or wait for your friends?”

“I’ll wait, but thanks.”

He nodded and walked away.

With a sigh, Jaycee pulled out her phone, thinking it wouldn’t hurt to just call. However, before she touched the first button, it rang. Swiping it on, she bent over the conversation. “Hey, Sage. What’s going on?”

“You know, I feel like a pest.”

“You are a pest, but you’re my pest, so don’t worry about it. What’s up?”

With every phone call, her sister sounded more stressed. “I’m sorry, you know. I know there’s nothing you can do, but I just need someone to talk to. This whole thing is freaking me out.”

“Where’s Luke?”

“Him and the rest of the volunteer fire department met tonight to go over emergency plans.”

That didn’t help the anxiety building in Jaycee. “He left you there alone?”

“I’m fine. We’re fine. Even if the thing comes, we’ve got a couple of days before it actually gets here.”

“Yeah, but…”

“And don’t tell him. Okay, Jayc? I mean if you talk to him, don’t tell him I’m freaking out. Okay? I don’t want him to know. I don’t want him to worry about us.”

Frustration crawled over the concern. “Why not? Besides, he is worried about you. You need to tell him, Sage.”

“No. Because if I freak out, then he has to take care of me too. He’s already up at the church and the community center, with the fire department.”

“But you’re his wife, and those are his kids.”

“I know. I know. He just… he can’t be everywhere at once, and I get that. I just need someone to freak out with a little bit so I don’t completely lose it in front of him or the kids.”

Jaycee put her hand on her head and pushed up her hair. “Yeah. Okay. Well, then how are you? I mean, freaking out obviously, but besides that?”

Derek checked his watch over and over again. It wasn’t like her to just disappear like this. Finally he could take it no longer. “I’m going to call her.”

“Who?” Katie asked in horror. “Jaycee?”

“Yeah.” He pushed two buttons and put the phone to his ear. It rang once and went straight to voicemail.

“You’ve reached the voice mailbox of Jaycee Lawrence.”

Cutting the connection, he dialed again, but this call was no more successful than the first. With a scratch of his head, worry began to creep onto him, slithering over him like a deadly squid. “She didn’t say where she was going?”

Katie shook her head.

Drumming his fingers on the table, Derek tried to decide what to do. She had the car, so she could almost literally be anywhere by now. “Well, let’s get back. Maybe she’s there. Probably in the tub not realizing she’s making the rest of us crazy.”

“Probably.”

“Do you have the card?”

“Oh!” Katie’s eyes went wide. “I assumed you would… I didn’t think…”

But Derek held up his hands, realizing a set-up when he saw one. “Don’t panic. I’ve got it.”

She smiled sweetly. “Thank you, Derek.”

The remainder of her conversation with Sage took another forty-five minutes, and by the time it was over Jaycee didn’t have the stomach for a meal. Oatmeal, three aspirins, and a bed sounded great. Of course, she understood Sage’s reasoning for trying to be strong and not telling Luke she was terrified, but Jaycee wasn’t sure she agreed with it.

She paid for her tea and trekked out to the car, still going over and over the logistics of the renegade hurricane in her mind. Then, just as she got to her car door, her gaze jumped to movement up the street. There, coming out of The Wild Turkey were none other than Derek and Katie. Together. It was the first word that went through Jaycee’s mind, and it burned there like a torch through paper. They were obviously together. Obviously. At the car, he opened her door and let her in.

Jaycee blinked, trying to make sense of what she was seeing. Finally reality kicked her in the skins and jolted her awake. “Of course, Jaycee,” she said as she opened the door of her car and sat down hard. “He’s with Katie. Katie’s 25 and all legs. Why wouldn’t he go for her? You’re so stupid. Seriously? You really thought Derek West would be into you?”

Starting the car, she made sure to put her seatbelt on because in the state she was in, a wreck was almost guaranteed. “Just calm down. Really. Seriously. You’ve got to settle. He’s going to think you have lost your ever-lovin’ mind. It was dinner and two dances. It meant nothing to him.”

Okay, the thought of those dances didn’t help anything.

Then her mind so helpfully asked if he and Katie had just been dancing. Of course they had, and if they weren’t there, they would be when they got back to the bed and breakfast. Heat, the unwanted kind, started strangling the air out of her lungs. If she had just not been so stupid as to think him being with her had meant anything. She knew he was a playboy. Derek West was the poster boy for playboys. All the playboys in the world wanted to be Derek West.

So, instead of going straight back to the bed and breakfast, she turned the other direction and drove for ten minutes before she realized she was being completely ridiculous and finally turned the car back around and headed home. He was a guy who had his own life to live. That she was just a small sliver of that life that he didn’t even care about wasn’t his fault. It was hers for being so irrational about things. This was her problem, not his, and for the sake of her job if not her sanity, she’d better remember that.

That the little silver car was not in the driveway when they got back to the bed and breakfast did Derek’s heart no good at all. Where was she? And why wasn’t she answering her phone?

One part of him held onto the hope that maybe she was here. Maybe she had parked somewhere else. Sure, that made no sense, but then again, it made more sense than her just taking off for no reason. She had never done that before. Not even once.

Up the little porch and into the establishment he went, following Katie. “Oh,” he said on the other side of the front door, “here’re your keys.”

“You know,” she said, and there was a definite hint of something he had heard before, “we could…”

Derek knew better than to let this go any further. “You know, Katie, it’s going to be an early morning tomorrow. I think I’m just going to finish folding some laundry and hit the hay.”

Katie’s face puckered into a scowl. “Laundry?”

“Yeah.” He laughed. “So I can have some clean jeans tomorrow.” With that, he headed off toward the laundry room. “’Night.”

Katie’s car was sitting in one of the driveway spots, and Jaycee had to coach herself through every scenario waiting for her on the other side of that door. If they were in the living room, curled up by the fireplace, she would say a polite, “Oh, hi” and disappear up the stairs. If they were in the kitchen, she could probably get up the stairs without them even seeing her. If they were already upstairs… She whacked that thought in half and chopped it into a million tiny pieces.

Carefully, quietly, she let herself into the entryway and tip-toed forward, hoping to get a bead on what she was facing before it presented itself. However, in all the scenarios she had run through, meeting up with Derek coming through the room with an armload of jeans never so much as crossed her mind until she was standing right there in front of him. She pulled up short and stopped in one breath. “Oh. Derek.”

“Where have you been?” He swung the jeans and slammed them onto the couch before putting his hands at his beltline as if he was scolding a wayward child. “You had me worried sick.”

“Worried?” Jaycee fought to make any sense at all of that statement. “What did I do?” Then, that it should be him apologizing sliced through her. “You were the one who didn’t show up.”

“Me? What do you mean I didn’t show up? Where did you go? Why weren’t you answering your cell?”

“I went out, and then I went to eat with you and Katie except, guess what? Surprise. The two of you decided to ditch me and go eat somewhere else.”

“Somewhere…?”

“Yeah. That’s right, Derek. I saw you with Katie.” Then she put her hands up and shook her head. “But, you know what, that’s none of my business. I don’t care what you do with Katie or with anybody else.”

His face corkscrewed into confusion. “Jayc, what are you talking about?”

But she kept waving her hands. “No, seriously. That’s your life. And that’s fine.” She was moving toward the stairs though she was hardly sane enough to realize why. “Really it is. You have your life. I have mine. Let’s just keep it that way, okay? It will be much better for everybody.”

“Where are you going?”

On the first stair she stopped, anger and hurt flashing from her though she was trying valiantly to stuff them. “To my room. Derek. Am I allowed to go to my room? Huh? Or do I need to ask your permission to do that too?”

He pursed his lips, and his brow knitted in the center of his forehead. “Do whatever you want. Like I care.”

“Thank you,” she said sarcastically. She went up three stairs and then came back down two. “Oh. And we’re leaving at seven in the morning. Do you have a problem with that?”

Glaring up at her, he never moved. “No, I don’t have a problem with that. When have I ever had a problem with that?”

“Good. Just checking. ‘Night.” And with that she stomped up the remaining stairs, went into her room and shut the door. Five seconds after that, the tears attacked her like a hungry lion, devouring her sanity and her breath. “Oh, Lord, what have I done? This is a mess.”

“What in the world was that?” Derek asked when she was gone. “She’s acting like a lunatic.” He picked up his jeans and headed for the stairs. “This is just great. Katie’s practically throwing herself at me, and now Jaycee hates my guts.” At his door, he dug for his key and opened it. “Maybe Brent has some kind of wacky reality show thing going on.”

In his room, Derek even searched for the hidden cameras before realizing he was losing his mind and forcing himself to calm down. What was Jaycee’s problem anyway? On the bed, he turned on the television and flipped through the channels until he found the game. Good ol’ baseball. No matter how crazy life got, baseball would always be there.

Images of a spiral of death and destruction, flashing greens, yellows, blues, and reds spun across Jaycee’s television screen. It had become big enough news to warrant nearly wall-to-wall speculation on the channel that was weather forecasts 24-7. So, exhausted, she put it on that channel and left it there the whole night.

By morning, she had no idea what was real and what wasn’t as her mind blearily focused on the forward progress of her new arch nemesis. As she brushed her teeth and got her clothes on, she stood in front of the television and watched it, the outer bands now swirling some 200 miles off the coast.

“The track is now solidifying a little,” the storm guy said. “Unless we get a really strong up draft here in the next couple of days, we are almost definitely going to see Gabriel coming ashore somewhere from North Carolina south, and with the winds picking up, this could very well be a monster Cat 3 or Cat 4 when it makes landfall.”

If she could have been sick on her shoes, she absolutely would have. “Dear God, please, please let it go to Florida. Please.” She knew that wasn’t fair. Surely there were people in Florida praying for the thing to go north, but she couldn’t help herself. It just couldn’t hit North Carolina. It just couldn’t.

Derek had decided to just be cool about the whole thing. If she yelled at him again, he would find a way to defuse her anger, but they were not going to be at each other’s throats at the Andersons’. However, he quickly realized that wasn’t going to be much of a problem owing to the fact that she hardly even acknowledged him when she came into the kitchen, grabbed a banana and some milk, and tip-tapping on her phone brought them to the table and sat down.

Fully expecting at least a greeting, he raised his eyebrows when he got exactly nothing. No yelling. No hello. Not even a glance.

“Morning,” he finally said because it was clear she wasn’t going to say anything.

“Morning,” she replied, squinting at the little screen.

“Must be interesting.” He moved just an inch to indicate the phone, and when she looked up, it was like she hadn’t seen him there. “You checking out the baseball scores? Boston won, you know?”

“Oh. I didn’t know they were playing.” She went back to the phone, swiping, typing, and swiping again.

Realizing he was better off for her being distracted, he ate the rest of his breakfast in silence. “I’ll just grab a few things and I should be ready.”

“Okay.” Amazingly, she never once took her eyes off the screen.

“We probably should have switched out the car on Sunday,” Jaycee said, noting that she hadn’t even thought about the car and that problem since they’d made it to Fairmont.

“I really think it will be fine.” Derek slammed the trunk. “Alex will have all the stuff up there. I’ve only got a couple things.”

She shrugged. “Well, if you don’t care…”

In the car, Jaycee had to force herself to put the phone on the little ledge and leave it there although the force that took was nearly unfathomable. You have a job to do, Jayc. You’ve got to do it. Focus. “You got everything?” she asked as her phone beeped, and grabbing it up, she very nearly dropped it getting it up to her ear. “Jaycee Lawrence.”

“Jaycee? This is Michael Hollis from Remodeling Magazine. Hi.”

“Hi.” Willing herself to keep it together, she backed out and navigated to the street.

“Listen, Brent Socroft gave me your number. He said we need to pin down a day for us to come out and interview Derek. Do you know what dates would work best for you all?”

Her checklist. She needed her checklist. At the main street, she stopped at the stop sign and dug into her things next to her on the console. “Uh, yeah, Michael. Just a… second.” Finally she got the thing free. Looking one way and then the other she pulled out into what Fairmont called morning traffic. “Uh, let’s see. How does Thursday sound? Is that too early?”

“No. No. It sounds great. So we can come there to Clairmont?”

“Fairmont.”

“Fairmont,” he corrected himself. “Are there any good photo spots out there?”

“Um, I don’t really know.” Jaycee tried to remember which street it was she was supposed to turn on to get to the Andersons’.

“That one, up there.” Derek pointed ahead of them as he watched her. She felt his puzzled gaze, and it unnerved her even more.

“We just got here a couple days ago, and I wasn’t really thinking photo shoots.” She drove up the street and turned. “But if nothing else, there’re mountains here. Lots of mountains. Maybe you could use that.”

“Well, if you don’t mind, scout it out today, see if there’s more than mountains. And Derek will be available for the interview, correct? I’m thinking photo shoot maybe morning time, and interview after that?”

“Sounds great. I’ll pencil you in.” It was then she realized she would have to do that with blood because she had no pen or pencil.

“Fantastic. Oh, and let me give you my number so you can touch base if you have suggestions.”

Thankfully, she pulled up to the Andersons’ house, which was now awash in television vans, dumpsters, and people. Frantically she dug for something to write with. The pen that wrote in skips and jumps would have to work. “Okay, got it. Thanks, Mr. Hollis.”

“Please, call me Michael.”

“Thanks Michael.” She put the car into park, and leaving her there, Derek crawled out. Hurriedly she transferred the name into the information on her phone. With a breath and a thought that she didn’t even remember driving here, she shook her head and got out. Somehow the air up here always had a way of bringing her back down from the rafters. “Time to get to work.”

For the first time since Jaycee had started working on the show, Derek called a mandatory meeting before doing any of the stand-ups and even before anyone had gone into the house. The whole crew—construction and camera—now stood at the base of the front steps.

“I want to make something very clear to everyone,” Derek said, and his face and tone brooked no argument. “No one, I repeat, no one is to touch anything I do not specifically tell you to touch. That means walls, that means windows, that means the floor, the cabinets, nothing. Do not take anything out unless I specifically and personally approve it. Is that understood?”

The construction crew looked around at each other and nodded, wide-eyed.

“And let me make that even clearer,” Derek continued though Jaycee was quite surprised he’d said what he had. “If anything gets taken out or damaged in this house.” He pointed behind him. “That will be grounds for immediate termination from working on this show. Mistakes happen, but they don’t happen in this house. Is that understood?”

Nodding and even wider-eyed, the crew agreed.

“Okay. Good. Today, we’re going to be working on tear-out, but I don’t want anything touched until I’m in there with you. So construction, just camp out for a few minutes while we get this filmed.”

Jaycee really wanted to argue, but it was obvious that wasn’t not an option.

Stepping off the porch, Derek went over to the cameras, his face still hard as a rock. “Okay. Let’s get this stand-up done so we can get to work.”

Chapter 8

All day long Jaycee had watched him between the times she was checking the phone and praying that God would send the hurricane another direction. It was impossible not to notice and feel into her bones that he was far more intense with this project than she had ever seen him. You would have thought they were doing brain surgery on his child while they took the wall down between the dining room and the hallway, and tearing out the island was even worse as he insisted on doing it himself so they could repurpose the wood for something else.

At lunch he didn’t even really stop. He just ate his sandwich while he walked around and gave directions. So when they headed back to the B&B at eight long after everyone else had gone home, she knew it was time to both patch up the wounded relationship and figure out what was going on.

“So what’s the deal with this one?” Jaycee asked as she drove out of the Andersons’ driveway that looked like a small bomb had hit the front yard.

“Deal?”

“Yeah. I think you scared everybody there this morning with the make a mistake and you’re fired speech.”

Derek shook his head. “I just… I feel such a responsibility to Marvin for this one. He built that place, with his own two hands. I could never live with myself if something happened to it because of my crew.”

Jaycee nodded her understanding. “But you know things happen.”

His eyes held baskets of worry and concern. “Not on this one they can’t. Which reminds me, we need to be there by six-thirty tomorrow so no one goes in while I’m not there.”

“What about Thursday? We have that interview and the photo shoot?”

He tipped his head. “Well, maybe we’ll have a bring-a-reporter-to-work day.”

“Sounds thrilling.” Her phone beeped, and she ripped it up off the console as she turned onto the little street with the B&B. Sage. She glanced over at Derek. “I’ve got to take this.”

He nodded.

“Hey,” she said when Sage came on. “Anything new?”

Worry cascaded over Derek in torrents, and it had nothing to do with the house, which had him plenty worried enough. Her tone would’ve sent chills through Dracula.

She let out a hard breath and shook her head. “I was afraid of that.”

Afraid of what? He wanted to ask, but he knew he couldn’t.

“And you’re still going to stay?”

Stay where? Derek’s mind and heart fused to the conversation and the exasperated fear in her voice.

“No. No. Of course, I know all about Luke’s stubbornness, but this is no time for that. He needs to get y’all out of there. Surely he knows that.” In the driveway, she parked and shut off the car, moving, gathering, and getting out as if he wasn’t right there.

“I know. I know. I get that, but if you don’t get out now, there won’t be a Plan B.” She slammed her door and headed up to the porch without so much as a backward glance. “I’m going to call him…. No, Sage. I am. Maybe he’ll listen to me.” Going into the door, she barely slowed down. “And Mom and Dad are staying too?” Sighing, she went through the living room as Derek hurried his strides to keep up with her. “No, I’m not happy! This is insanity. You need to get out of there.” At her bedroom door, she opened it and stepped inside. “Yeah. Okay. I will. I promise. Yeah. K. Bye.”

And she closed the door.

Derek stood there on the little balcony, looking at the closed wooden door. He wanted to knock, wanted to ask, wanted more details about whatever it was that was going on with her. But he knew it wasn’t his place to ask. She had her life; he had his. At least now they weren’t screaming at each other, and maybe it was better this way. With that thought, he went over to his own room and went to take a shower. Six o’clock was going to come mighty early in the morning.

The next morning they were at in the breakfast nook at quarter-‘til six. He had cereal and a roll; she had a banana and milk. How she survived like that, he would never know. Her phone beeped, and she grabbed it up. “I’ve got to take this.” She didn’t wait for him to consent to that before she stood and walked into the living room.

Derek wished with everything in him that he could hear what she was saying. He even tried crunching quieter on the cereal, but that did no good. He could hardly hear the soft lilt of her voice as it was, there was no hope of making out the words. Just as he gave up, he heard the footsteps coming, and he sat up as if he wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. However, it was not Jaycee but Katie who came in.

“Oh, good morning,” the scout said as she went over to gather her own breakfast.

Frustrated, he went back to his own. “Morning.”

“How’s the house going?”

“Good. We should finish the tear-out today.”

“That’s good.” Katie sat down at the table and glanced into the living room. “Listen, I’m headed out today to find our next spot, but I realized last night I didn’t give you Eva’s number.”

“Oh. Right.” Derek sat up.

“She said to call her so you guys can make plans for Saturday,” Katie was saying as Jaycee ended her call and headed back into the little nook. Her stomach took a dive for the floor when she saw the two of them looking like this was a private conversation. “She lives right between here and Reno. It’s right on your way. She said whatever time works for you, but she’s really excited about meeting you and going out.”

Pinching her lips between her teeth to keep from screaming her fury, Jaycee picked up her chin and strode in, sitting right back down by her banana as if she had never been gone. If anything the hurricane situation was looking worse by the hour. Why wouldn’t they leave? She understood Luke staying, but Sage and the kids, not to mention her mom and dad…

“You’re so going to love Eva. She’s smart, and she has great style,” Katie continued, and Jaycee felt Derek’s gaze slip over to her and hold for three seconds. “In fact, she’s trying to break into modeling. She’s even done some local spots.”

Eating was the last thing on Jaycee’s list. Staying here and listening to this conversation was a close second to last.

“Um, I have a few things I need to grab upstairs,” Jaycee said as her head and stomach decided to revolt at the same time. How would she ever make it through today in one piece? And if today was bad, what would the coming days be like? “If you’ll excuse me.”

Not waiting for their protest, she stood, took the banana she had eaten one bite from and dumped it in the trash. On her heel, she spun and left the nook with humiliation dogging every step. Still, she couldn’t concentrate on that. Who cared who Derek’s flavor of the minute was? Her family was about to be wiped out by a monster named Gabriel.

In the room, she turned the television back on, and although she had meant to go get ready, she sat down on the little bed-end bench and let the images wash over her. They were already comparing this to Andrew and Katrina complete with pictures and video of the devastation wrought by those two as far as the eye could see. Jaycee put her head down into her hands as the tears burned her eyes. “Sage, please, please get out of there.”

When she came down the stairs at six, Derek considered asking. Would it really be so bad to ask? Was it a crime to care? True, they didn’t know each other like that, but was it written somewhere that they couldn’t?

In the car, she started it up and put her cell phone on the little ledge after looking at it one more time.

“Must be important,” Derek said, glancing over at her.

As she drove onto the street, she kept her gaze forward. “So what do you think we’ll get done today? You got a lot on the agenda?”

He always had a lot on the agenda, more than was humanly possible most of the time. “I’ve been thinking. What would you think about getting Marvin up here to help us?”

She swerved with her gaze. “Marvin? He’s in a wheelchair.”

Derek shrugged. “I think it would add to the story. I don’t mean the whole time, but maybe Thursday or Friday.”

“Thursday we have the interview.”

“Then Friday.” His gaze was now glued to her. “I really think it would make the whole thing pop.”

“Pop, huh?” She sighed. “Okay. I’ll see what I can do.”

And so, Jaycee spent the first hour of the day hammering out the logistics of getting Marvin and Martha back to their home in the woods on Friday. The idea made her nervous, but then again, they would need some stand-ups with them about what they were hoping for and those kinds of things anyway. It would be better to get those out of the way now than to have to worry about them next week.

As she went through the construction zone which now had one fewer wall and no floor left anywhere, her cell phone beeped, and she answered it. “Jaycee Lawrence.”

“Hey, Jaycee, Devon from marketing. Listen, we just got a call back on the radio show thing. How does Sept. 6 sound?”

Jaycee didn’t have a calendar with her. “The sixth?”

“It’ll be a 15 minute segment from 4:30 Eastern to 4:45. General questions. What it’s like doing so many houses. How many he’s done. That kind of thing. You can call in, so no trying to get anywhere. Nothing special.”

“Okay. I’ll let him know.”

“Great thanks!”

Just as she clicked off from that call, a text came in. Gabriel now a Cat 4. Jaycee closed her eyes and leaned on the wall next to the living room as the news almost swept her breath away. God, please!

Across the room, Derek was talking with Alex when he caught sight of her, and one look said it was bad. “Okay. Just be careful with this fireplace when you’re getting down to the subfloor. We don’t want to damage it.”

“No problem,” Alex said, and with that, Derek strode over to Jaycee.

His heart gathered up more concern with every step. “What’s wrong?”

Looking up at him, her eyes were clouded with tears, but she quickly blinked them back. “Nothing. It’s fine.”

“Well, it doesn’t look like it’s fine.” Always cognizant of the cameras, he glanced around, took her elbow and led her out to the front porch where they could hopefully be alone. “Okay. Now, look. I’m serious. What’s going on? You’re freaking me out here with these phantom phone calls and looking like someone just killed your grandmother.”

One look of horror stopped his attempts at sarcasm.

His eyes widened. “It’s not your grandmother, is it?”

Slowly she shook her head. “No, but it’s the rest of my family.” Putting her fingers to her forehead as if she could push the thoughts right out of her head, she stepped past him to the railing, looking out but clearly seeing nothing.

His gaze and concern trailed her. “The rest of your family? What does that mean?”

Picking up the cell phone, she swiped it twice, turned, and held it out to him. Not understanding, Derek took it from her and tried to figure out what he was looking at. A map, zoomed in so closely all he could see was the jagged edge of a coastline he didn’t recognize. What he did recognize was the giant swirl just to the right of the coastline. “The hurricane?” Incomprehension spun in him. “I don’t understand.”

When she sighed, it picked her shoulders up and then let them fall. “My whole family lives in North Carolina. They’re only about ten miles from the beach.”

That slammed his gaze back down to the cell phone. “North…?”

“Yeah. The current track is a near direct hit.”

All the air evaporated from his body. “That’s why you want them to get out.”

She nodded but set her jaw.

“And they’re not?”

“Luke won’t leave because he needs to help, and Sage doesn’t want to try it with the four kids and having nowhere to go. Mom and Dad say they’ve lived through hurricanes before, so they’re not going either. Right now, they’re boarding everything up and praying the thing turns before it gets there.” Not able to hold the tears down any longer, she spun and gripped the railing, bending and stretching, clearly fighting not to completely lose it. “And where am I? 3,000 miles away and not able to help any of them. That’s just great, huh?”

Suddenly he felt like the biggest idiot on the planet. She was terrified for her family, and he was yelling at her for disappearing and not answering her cell phone when he called. What was she his slave? “Jayc.” He moved toward her, half-expecting her to run or to block his advance. She did neither. “I’m really sorry.”

She shook her head hard. “It’s not your fault.”

That’s when he heard the sniff, and it drilled right into and through him. He had no idea she even knew how to cry. “Hey.” And with that, he turned her gently and collected her into his arms. “Shhh.”

Even as his arms came around her, Jaycee knew she should move. Someone was around. Someone would walk up the lawn or come out the door. They would see them together like this, and the rumors would surely start. She couldn’t let that happen to him. He had worked too hard earning his reputation on the job site. Willing herself to get it together, she shook her head. “I’m okay. Really. I am. I’m fine.”

“I don’t think…”

The effort it took to stay standing was enormous, but she pulled herself out of his arms although her gaze never came up. “No. Really, Derek. I am. I’m fine.” She sniffed. “You should get back inside. They need you in there.”

Derek stood there, angry at the world for not understanding that she needed him more than it did.

The front door came open, and his gaze jerked back that direction.

“Oh, there you are,” Alex said. “We’re ready to take the back cabinets out now. You want to come?”

Derek shook his head, knowing what his answer needed to be, but then he looked back at Jaycee, once again doubled over, her arms twisted at her middle, head down. “Yeah. Hang on. Give us a minute.”

“Okay.” Alex said it almost as much as a question as a statement, but the door shut just the same.

“You going to be okay?” Derek asked, totally unsure of how to handle this. She didn’t look like she should be left alone, but what choice did he have?

“Yeah.” She sniffed again, hard, and shook her head so her ponytail swung across her shoulders. When she looked up at him, she got half of a plausible smile on her face. “I’m fine. Really. Go do your job. I’ll be okay.”

How he wanted to take her in his arms and wipe away every bad thing in her life, but helpless to do that, he just stood there, looking down at her. “Okay. But if things change…”

“It’s going like five miles an hour. It’s not going to change any time soon.”

“I know, but…”

“Derek,” she said, and there was a harsh edge to her tone, “you need to get in there. You don’t need to be out here taking care of me. Now go.”

He didn’t want to, but he did anyway. When he got to the door, he turned once more and there she was, holding onto her middle, bent nearly in half and looking about as distraught as he had ever seen anyone. “God,” he whispered because he could think of nothing else to do, “please help.”

The rest of the day passed in a haze for Jaycee. She made the final calls for the photo shoot and interview which would happen the next morning. Forcing herself to focus, she called Devon back and verified the radio show and time for the next Tuesday. It was crazy to her to think that by Tuesday, life would never be the same for thousands of people. “God,” she prayed as she went over the checklist. “Please…”

Truthfully, she didn’t even know what to pray for, and every time she tried, tears overcame her.

“Yeah,” Derek said from the small hallway, and Jaycee heard the tape measure. She snapped professional over everything else. “We’re going to have to slope this down into the living area.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to just level it off?” Alex asked.

“Can’t do that. If you level it to the fireplace, you make the fireplace look off.”

“Then take out the fireplace.”

“Not an option.”

She heard the hard-as-nails tone in his voice, and pushed herself up off the wall to go run interference in case there were fireworks. Tired felt worse than it ever had. Checking her watch, she realized it was after seven. Everyone else had already gone home. They were just hammering out exactly what to do and film the next day. Walking to the hallway that they had abandoned for the living area, she leaned there and pulled out her phone. It was second nature to her now. The map. The pressure. The trajectory. She knew it all by heart.

“No. I really think our best bet is to…” Derek came right back to the little step that went up into the hallway and measured it before coming to stand in the hallway right in front of her. Those few inches up made his presence loom over her though he didn’t so much as acknowledge her presence. “We can start here with the slope with wood, angle it down like this, and gently taper it right down to here. He’ll be able to navigate the wheelchair. It won’t cut into the floor space, and we don’t sacrifice the fireplace. Plus, if the next owner ever wants to remove it, they can.”

Finally Alex shrugged. “Okay. You’re the boss.”

Derek nodded, clearly continuing to think the plan through. “What do you think, Jaycee?”

She jerked her head up from the phone. “What? Oh, yeah.” Yanking herself from the wall again, she nodded. “I think that will work.” And amazingly, she really did know exactly what he had been saying. In fact, she could picture all of it in her head as if she had been watching him and taking notes.

Alex shook his head. “Okay then. I’m going to call it a night. I’d better get to the bed before the cockroaches do.”

Jaycee raised her eyebrows at that, but Derek just laughed.

“Drive carefully,” Derek said, and with one small wave Alex left.

The house suddenly got very quiet, and only then, did Jaycee realize everyone else really was gone. Derek continued to measure and make notes in his tiny notepad. Knowing it could well be hours before they left, she leaned on the wall and went back to her phone.

“Any change?” he asked, continuing to measure from one wall, then the other, from the step to the center.

“Not much. It keeps going up and down Cat 3, Cat 4. It’s just right in there. I wish it would weaken and just go away, but now they’re saying there’s an outside possibility it could strengthen well into a Cat 4 just before landfall and stay there when it comes inland.” The longer she talked the more tired she became until finally she simply sat down on the little step without missing a beat with the phone. “The interview starts at ten in the morning. I guess we’re going to do it here because I don’t want anyone fired, and we can’t hold everyone up. I talked with Devon. We’re a definite go for the radio show on Tuesday.

“Elle sent some prelims over from a couple in upstate New York. Brent wants you to look at them and choose one tonight or tomorrow.”

“I get a choice?”

She almost laughed. “Apparently you’re moving up in the world.”

He measured the fireplace and made more notes. “What are the options?”

One by one Jaycee mapped them out for him. A small house that wanted an addition. An old house with no en suite bath and radiant heat. “We’d love central air,” Jaycee read, “because the radiators are dangerous for our kids.” She read the next and the next.

“Wow. Elle’s been busy.”

“Takes an army to keep you from getting bored.”

Looking over at her, he laughed at that. “So you’ve got Marvin coming on Friday, right?”

“Yep.” Finally, she put her phone down and rolled her head around her neck. “You nervous?”

He glanced at her from his measurements. “I’ve been calmer.”

She put her hands together and realized she hadn’t been doing a very good job with this one. “So do you think he’ll freak out when he comes?”

Derek shrugged. “I don’t know. I think he was plenty freaked out when we got here on Monday. I can’t imagine walking into a place I built and they have the thing torn apart like this.”

As she looked around the room, Jaycee began to understand. “This is you.”

He almost looked at her but stopped himself with a small laugh. “What does that mean?”

She leaned forward and laced her fingers together as her elbows settled on her knees. “It means, you can see yourself in Marvin. Years down the line, having built something like this, to have someone come in and rip it apart.”

Taking out his measuring tape, he started again. “I always wanted to build my own place. Always thought I would. Like Marvin did here. He was only 25.”

The wistfulness in his voice almost carried her right away.

“Makes me wonder,” he said, “if I’ll ever even get that chance.”

“So you make everybody else’s dreams come true, but yours…” She stood, went over to the fireplace and sat down on the hearth to look up at him. “That must be tough. Having all this talent and design ability and all of it go for everybody else.”

His face twisted just enough so she knew she was right even though he tried to play it off as he inspected the mantle. “I love what I do. I love seeing people happy.”

At that moment she saw him with new eyes. “But…?”

When he looked down at her, it was as if he had no idea she could read him so well. Finally, he sighed. “But, at the end of the day, I’ve got a 900-square-foot apartment that’s thrown together with mismatched everything because I never get to spend any time there fixing it up. Everybody thinks I’m living this high-style, glamorous life, and the truth is, sometimes I’d like to chuck it all, build me something like this place and just hibernate there the rest of my life.”

Jaycee sat, just looking at him, saying nothing. Somehow in all the airline miles they had traveled together, she had never seen this side of him. It intrigued her. He intrigued her, standing there like that, in the dusty, dirty jeans and the red plaid work shirt. She’d never really thought of his life as much more than what house they were working on or would be working on next.

At that moment, his gaze dropped down to hers, caught and held. A second and he swung around and sat on the other side of the hearth. “What about you, Sunshine? You ever think about getting off this hamster wheel and settling down?”

His elbow half-rested his forearm on his knee which kind of propped him up as he surveyed her.

“Oh, I don’t know.” Her gaze fell from his to the patchwork of subfloor under her feet. “I’d have to find somebody to settle down with first, and out here, that’s kind of a challenge.” Then she shrugged. “Besides, he’d probably tell me I couldn’t run from a hurricane, and then where would we be?”

Derek’s face clouded further. “You’re really worried about them, aren’t you?”

She didn’t say anything, just kept her gaze on the floorboards and nodded. A long breath and she looked up at him. “This is so not like Luke, you know? I mean, he was always so protective of Sage and the kids. I just can’t figure out why he can’t see he should pack them up and get them the heck out of Dodge.” Reaching back, she scratched into her ponytail. “And then there’s Dad and Mom. Sage is like, ‘They say they’ve been through hurricanes before…’” She snorted. “Like that makes me feel any better.” A shake of her head and she looked over at him.

“When I was little, we had a hurricane, a small one. I don’t think it was anywhere near a direct hit. But I remember them boarding up the house, and I remember sitting there for hours inside just waiting. I remember how scared I was as a kid, not really knowing what was going on.” This shrug only lifted one shoulder. “If you want to know the real truth, I’d like to go there and hang Luke by his toenails for doing this to them.”

That scrunched Derek’s face. “Can’t you call him? Talk to him?”

“Sage told me not to. She said not to tell him how freaked out she is.”

“Why?”

Why? There was a question. It was like asking why Jaycee got up an hour early so she wouldn’t be late to get him. Why she shut her mouth when he went out partying even though she stayed up half the night worried he wouldn’t come home. Why she never complained about the long hours and the crazy work schedule. Because she didn’t want him to know how close to completely losing it she spent the majority of her life. “I don’t know. She said it’s because he’s got enough to worry about.”

Derek nodded. “Well, I get that, but he can’t do anything about it if she doesn’t tell him.”

“But what if she tells him, and he doesn’t do anything anyway?” Jaycee’s eyes betrayed her for one second too long and fused to his. Then she shook her head and dropped her hands and her gaze between her knees. “She’s probably right. Sage is pretty smart, especially when it comes to Luke. He can go a little crazy when it comes to her.”

“They sound like a great couple.”

Jaycee smiled. “They are.”

For the next 11 hours, Jaycee thought of nothing but that great couple so that by the time she woke up on Thursday morning to find the hurricane still on track and gaining strength, her patience with the guy she had grown up with and still considered her best friend snapped.

“It will not hurt just to call,” she told herself as she dialed the number not to their home phone but to his. “I’ll be cool about it and just make the suggestion. That can’t hurt anything, right?” She swung her ponytail to behind her back as she scratched the back of her head and glanced at the clock. Time difference. She hated that.

“This is Luke.” He sounded very un-Luke-like. So much so that it caught her off guard.

“Luke? Hey. I’m glad I caught you,” Jaycee said as if she was just going to suggest they go out for a pizza or something. When he didn’t reply, she ducked her head and kicked at the carpet with her toe. “This is Jaycee.”

“Oh, hey, Jayc. Yeah, put it over there. We need more sand. Are they bringing some in? Okay.” And then he came back. “Sorry about that. Uh, did you need something? We’re working on the sandbags, and now’s not really a good time.”

“Oh.” She licked her lips and swallowed, fighting to find the words.

“Yeah, we need to get this whole area bagged so it doesn’t flood the center. Right around here. We’ve got to protect this.”

Then her courage and determination to say something plummeted out of her grasp and away from her. “Luke?”

“Yeah?”

“Listen, I just wanted to let you know I’m praying for y’all.”

That seemed to jerk him to a stop. “Oh. Well, I appreciate that.” The pause lasted only a split-second. “They found more sand? Great. We need it over by the church!” Then he came back. “I’m sorry, Jaycee. I’ve really got to go.”

“Yeah. No. Of course. Y’all stay safe.”

“We will. We need a stack over here!” And with that, he was gone.

With a deep sigh, Jaycee sat down on the little bench at the end of the bed and watched the swirling, silent mass blinking on her television screen. Knowing there was nothing more she could do, she closed her eyes and said the 50th prayer of the already long morning.

Derek’s whole system was set on radar-Jaycee mode. When she walked into the kitchen at 5:40, he watched her, deciphering her every movement. He’d had the weather app opened on his phone most of the night and had checked it at least five times since he’d been up. Still, he wasn’t sure that starting conversation about it was safe.

Wordlessly, she went to the cabinet, got her glass and the milk from the refrigerator. Every movement was slow and deliberate as if she was afraid she might shatter if she went too quickly. Grabbing a banana from the bunch there, she came and sat down, picking up her phone and swiping through it without touching her food.

He crunched one bite of corn flakes, hoping she would say something. She didn’t, and that worried him. “Have you heard anything?”

Laying her phone on the table and taking a breath, she peeled into the banana but never really looked up. “I called Luke this morning.”

One part of Derek was surprised. The other part was glad. “So what did he say?”

“They’re sandbagging by the community center and the church.”

Derek waited for the rest and then realized she wasn’t going to continue. “What about Sage and the kids?”

Jaycee’s head went all the way down so he couldn’t see any of her face. She shook her head, dragged in a breath, and then took another one. “I couldn’t tell him. Not like that. Not when he’s working so hard to save everything we love.”

He was beginning to learn to the depths of him how this helpless thing felt. “Have you talked to Sage or your parents?”

She shook her head, never lifting it. “Not today. I’ll call them in a little bit.” The sniff was soft, but he heard it easily.

“So they aren’t leaving?”

When she shook her head this time, he let out a long, soft breath, closed his eyes, and prayed that Luke knew what he was doing and that what he was doing with her family wouldn’t split her right in half.

“I love the work,” Derek said later to the reporter, a brunette who was dressed in a tight fitting black-on-blue business suit dress that showed off every curve. “It’s such a challenge re-envisioning spaces, re-inventing them.”

The reporter, Antonia Bartolli, had a little recorder that she kept moving back and forth between them like a tennis ball at Wimbledon. “The remodels you do all seem so different. Do you consciously try to get the ones that are out-of-the-box?”

To the side and six feet away, Jaycee looked at her watch. They had taken an hour break for the interview, so everyone was outside eating an early lunch.

“I think out-of-the-box houses are great for viewers because we don’t just go in and rip out the counters and put in quartz or granite. We’re not in this to make every space the same. We really try to let people know that you can take any space and breathe new life into it. That’s why we don’t just stay in one city. I want the challenge of designing for a Chicago urban setting or up in the mountains or wherever the spirit takes us.

“There are so many places people call home, and no two of them should be just alike because the people who live there are unique. They have different visions for how they experience life, and we try to take that into consideration when we design for them. I’m not into cookie-cutter everyone has to love modern. If you like rustic, we’ll do rustic. If you like industrial, we’ll do that. Give me a challenge. That’s what I live for.”

She laughed. “You sure get enthusiastic when you talk about these things.”

He ducked. “Sorry. I just… I have this passion for creating spaces that speak right into the lives of the people who will live there. I’m not so much interested in making my vision for your space come alive as I am in making your vision for the space a reality.” Derek stopped. “Did that make any sense?”

Antonia laughed again. “I think so.”

“Good. Sometimes I get so caught up, I don’t really know if what I’m saying will make sense to anyone but me.”

Glancing at her watch again, Jaycee knew it was time to step in, but before she could move, Antonia continued.

“One more question and then we’ll do the photos.”

“Okay.”

“How does someone go about getting on your show? How do they apply?”

He smiled and it raised the dusting of a moustache across his lips. “We get letters and emails and messages from all over the United States every week. We go through and find several from one general area, and then our scouts go out, meet with the families and recommend who they think we could help the most. We’ve done single family homes, apartments, even one in a high rise. Let me tell you, getting that couch into the elevator was a real trick. Not my idea of a fun afternoon. But we love to hear from our fans and from those who would like help making their dreams a reality.”

She snapped off the recorder. “Great. Good job, Derek. I think we’ve got it. That was fabulous.” Standing, Antonia made sure to straighten her dress just so before extending her hand to Derek who also stood. They made a striking couple, standing there amidst the dust and debris of the worksite, and Jaycee had to shake out of that annoying thought the second it traipsed through her head.

“Do you mind if we go outside to do some of the shots?” Antonia asked.

“I’m following you,” Derek said as if he was having the time of his life.

When they crossed past her, Jaycee ducked to avoid the humiliation of seeing him ogling someone else, someone far, far more glamorous than she would ever be. Stuffing her feelings deeper into her chest and forcing them to stay there, she caught the door and followed them out then off the porch and far over and out of the way.

“I think we should do some with the crew in the background,” Antonia said, and Jaycee didn’t miss the looks of stark appreciation of the reporter’s appearance on the face of every guy there. “What do you think, Bronx?”

Bronx, her photographer, who looked like he’d just stepped out of a photo shoot himself tipped his head as if trying to catch a vision. With longish, full dark hair and a full beard, he looked like an Italian Romeo. “Yes. I think have the crew up on the porch. Maybe one or two of them. Derek, you come down here.”

As they went about setting and resetting the photos, Jaycee went over by the little fence and dug out her phone. Technically this was on the clock time, but who was going to notice or ask? She was always on her phone for something to do with the show anyway. Her checking her phone wouldn’t cause any undue attention on her. Swipe. Swipe. Through the maps she had memorized.

Gabriel was now a strong Cat 4, on course for a near direct hit to the outer banks of North Carolina by Friday morning. She skimmed the headlines, read one or two of the leads, shook her head at the parade of bad news. Her mind considered the possibility of calling Sage, but her sister had more important things to be doing than talking to her right now.

“I think after they leave, we’ll need to get a couple more stand-ups,” Cliff said, coming up beside her, and Jaycee jumped like she’d been caught stealing from the cookie jar. She swiped off her phone and put it into her pocket as the news swirled with reality making everything feel off-kilter and surreal. “We need to get the one about the high-low cabinet thing and the crazy floor they’re doing in the living space.”

She nodded as if she was in fact listening. Instead, her gaze had snagged and held on Derek beyond, in his element with the others. So regular guy. So star-like. What girl wouldn’t fall completely, madly in love with him?

“I think we’ll do most of those in the morning,” Cliff continued. “Do we have a plan for the Mrs. if she stays? There’s not really a great place in the house for her to be. That is if this whole thing with the guy in the wheelchair even works.”

“Marvin,” she said with a sigh. “His name is Marvin. And hers is Martha.”

Cliff shrugged. “I’m sure post will get them right on the screen. All I care about is getting their faces on film.” He leaned back, still watching the on-going photo shoot. “Have you heard where we’re off to next?”

“New York.”

He looked surprised. “The Big Apple? Go Derek.”

Actually it was the small apple of New York State, but she didn’t bother to tell him that. Her cell phone beeped, and she pulled it out. Her heart jumped at the sight of the name. “Oh, sorry. I have to take this.” Stepping away from him, she leaned down and put her finger in her ear to block the rest of life out. “Sage? Tell me this is good news, please.”

“No. Not good news. I wish.”

Jaycee’s cell phone beeped again, but she clung to the conversation. “What’s going on?”

“Cat 4. We’ve got major storm warnings all up and down the coast. They’re clearing out the outer banks. Mandatory evacuations.”

“What?” The breath left and refused to come back. The call-waiting beeped again, but she ignored it in the swirl of panic.

“The roads are a mess. Everyone’s trying to get out.”

“Are you going?”

The pause clutched Jaycee’s lungs.

“Sage, are y’all headed out? Please tell me you’re leaving.”

This pause was even longer.

“Look, I don’t know how long we’ll have cell service,” Sage said slowly, clearly measuring every syllable. “We’ll have the house phone if that doesn’t go down too, which they’re saying is possible. They’re saying that could happen sometime tonight, so if you can’t get us in the morning, just know that that’s why.”

“Sage.” Jaycee slumped onto the little fence post she never so much as saw.

“We’ll be okay, Jayc. We will. We’re far enough inland…”

Breathing hurt like fire.

“Even Dad says it will be okay. Some rough going for a while, but no reason to panic.”

No reason to panic? Then why did her whole body feel ready to pummel a mountain lion? “You could still get out. Just put the kids in the car and…”

“No. Jayc. We’re not leaving.”

That stopped her with a head-shattering whack.

“But say some prayers for us. Okay?” And on the okay, her sister’s voice ratcheted up three pitches and then cracked. “I’ll call you as soon as I can.”

“Sage…?”

“I’ve got to go, Jayc. I love you.”

“Yeah. Love you too.” And there was no air left.

Across the lawn as the camera crew reset and then reset again, Derek watched Jaycee, and he knew it was not good news. Oh, how impossible it was to smile in the face of watching her life fall apart right before his very eyes.

Two clicks and a swipe, and Jaycee had the phone to her ear. “Please pick up. Please pick up.”

“Hello?”

Her mother’s voice drilled through her so deeply she almost could come up with no words to answer. “Mom?”

“Jaycee?”

“Yeah. It’s me.” Although it hadn’t been her intention in the beginning, Jaycee’s calls home had gotten fewer and farther between the longer the time went since she had left. She kept telling herself she needed to call, but her mother’s incessant questions about boyfriends and husbands and rings and relationships had finally taken their toll and that didn’t even touch the disappointment she heard in her father’s voice at the direction her life had taken. “I just… was wondering if y’all are home. Sage said you’re staying.”

“We are. But don’t worry. We’ve got bottles of water and the whole house is ready. Your dad’s up with the men sandbagging what they can, or I’m sure he would love to talk to you.”

“Yeah. No. That’s okay. I just wanted you to know I’m praying for y’all.”

“Oh. Well, we appreciate it, but I’m sure everything will be just fine. We’ve weathered hurricanes before.”

Not a Cat 4. But she chose not to say that. “I guess you’ll both be home then.”

“Your father should be home soon, and then we’ll batten down the hatches and ride it out.”

She sounded so brave. Jaycee knew that was a surely a lie, but talking in the face of their bravery did no good.

“Have you heard from Ryder?”

“Oh, yeah. The college is much further inland. He said they’re not even boarding things up there.”

Surreal. That was the only word for this ridiculous conversation.

“Listen, Jaycee, I would love to stay and talk, but we’re going to need all the flashlights, batteries, and blankets ready, and I…”

“That’s okay, Mom. Really. Go. Do what you need to do.” Jaycee paused only a breath. “I love you.”

“Oh.” That seemed to stop her mother. “Well, I love you too. I’ll be sure to tell your dad you called. I’m sure he’ll be sorry he missed you.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry I missed him too. Well, I’ll let you go. Take care of yourself.”

“I will do that. You take care of yourself too.”

Jaycee nodded, sincerely wondering if this might be the last time she ever heard her mother’s voice. When she hung up, she let her head fall all the way back and then closing her eyes, she dragged it forward and fought to breathe. She put her hand up to her neck and rubbed there, knowing the knots would surely never go away again. Her eyes came open and reminded her that life had not stopped in deference to her impending tragedy. No. Life was going on as if what she had always considered the best parts of that life weren’t hanging in the balance.

Chapter 9

The photo shoot turned back into an interview briefly. By the time the Remodeling people left, it was well past two-thirty, and Derek was starving. He glanced around the job site that was once again alive with action and ducked into the kitchen. “Has anybody seen Jaycee?”

“Uh. She was outside last I saw her,” Alex said.

“Then I’ll be right back.” He headed out into the bright sunlight that was warming the whole world up and found her trekking back from the parking lot.

“Well, it sounds like that went well,” she said, coming up the steps to where he stood. “Good job.” She held out her fist, and after a small hesitation, he bumped it with his.

“Everything okay?” he asked, tilting his head down to see into her face, and she bounced a shrug.

“Great. Oh.” She seemed to remember something. “Did you not get lunch? They were supposed to bring enough, but the guys have all been snacking. I could run into town…”

“Jayc?” Worry trounced on him as he watched her. “I wasn’t talking about lunch.”

“I bet you’re starving. I know I am. Why don’t I just run in, grab us some burgers? Or would you rather have a steak? No. Not in the middle of the afternoon. What am I thinking? But I could order one for tonight if you want. Or we could go out. Unless you have other plans, which is fine.”

Derek let out a breath, took one look at her, and gathered her into his arms.

“Derek!” she shrieked barely keeping it below alert-everyone-level as she jumped back away from him, pulled her tailored blue button down shirt down as if he had tried to rip it off, and took another full two steps back. She shook her head though she never looked up at him. “People could be watching. Are you crazy?”

“What? I can’t care about you? I can’t worry about you?”

“No.” Her gaze came up to his then, steady and as rock-solid as he had ever seen it. “I think it’s best for both of us if we just keep this whole thing professional.”

He wanted to take her and shake her. What was she talking about professional?

“Now, do you want something for lunch or not? I’m going to pick something up.”

“Jayc?”

She never wavered. “Yes or no?”

What could he say? “Yeah. I guess so.”

“K.” She headed around him and down off the steps. “I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

“Drive safely!” he called after her retreating back, and she waved.

Just get to the car. Just act natural and get to the car. Every step was a study in keeping herself together such that Jaycee had never had to accomplish. Once in the car, the first breath released a torrent of tears so that even seeing through them was a challenge. Still, she knew although he couldn’t see her through the windows, he was watching.

Sniffing and swiping at her eyes, she backed out through the maze of vans and tools and headed down the mountain. Her only hope was that lunch would take forever to fix, and she would never have to go back.

“Yeah,” Alex said as Derek went back into the house, “just came across the news. It’s a Cat 4. Looks like it could wipe out half of North Carolina.”

At that, Derek’s head jerked up as if it might come right off his shoulders. He spun and ran out the door, holding it as he made it to the porch. But she was already gone. He had known, and yet, he had let her get by without telling him. Turning, he slammed the palm of his hand into the doorframe as frustration overtook his sanity.

“Yo, dude,” Alex said, coming over to look at him. “We ain’t taking the front door out.”

Laughter was the very last emotion he felt, and with a hard shake of his head, Derek headed back inside. Yanking out his phone, he punched in the number and listened to it ring. Maybe she would think he was calling to tell her he wanted tomatoes or to hold the onions. It rang three times and beeped to voicemail. “Jayc, this is Derek. Pick up, please. Jayc?”

“Derek,” Cliff said, coming over. “We need to get this stand-up in the living space about the floor done. Some of the guys want to knock off early tonight and head over to Reno.”

Reno. He couldn’t have located the place on a map or in his head if someone had offered him a million dollars.

“Hang on. I’m trying to get ahold of Jaycee.” He dialed the number again and listened to it ring.

“This is Jaycee Lawrence with Star Productions. Please leave me a message, and I’ll get right back to you. Have an awesome day!”

Derek spun the phone down toward his mouth, knowing it would do no good. “Jayc. This is Derek. Call me when you get this. It’s important.”

She was going to get fired. That’s all there was to it. When Jaycee picked up the phone for the third time and saw Derek’s name on the screen, she surrendered to the undeniable fact that by the time she got back, he would be standing there ready and raring to fire her. Can her. Tell her to pack her belongings and get off of his set.

Then again, maybe that would be for the best. At least then she could hop a plane and get to her family. Sure, the roads would be crowded, but she would be the only one driving into the storm rather than out of it. Her heart jerked at that thought, and she had to sniff away the tears. How was she ever going to stay sane through this? Surely every phone wouldn’t go down. Not every one. Cell phones yes. But not landlines. Weren’t they underground and protected?

She pulled into The Wrong Way diner, grabbed her phone, and got out. She knew she should call Derek back. She knew it, and yet, she couldn’t get herself to so much as unlock the phone to do so. Pushing in, she went to the counter holding normal and rational to her like shields.

“Can I help you?” the lady asked, and Jaycee expertly placed their orders as if nothing in the world had ever been wrong in her life.

The stand-up was a disaster. Derek could hardly remember six words much less full sentences, and every time the door opened, his gaze yanked there involuntarily.

“We got it,” Cliff finally said, more to end the torture than anything.

Derek nodded, stepped to the side and pulled out his phone. No text. No call. He breathed that down. Maybe he should go after her, go find her. It wasn’t like the town was that big. She couldn’t get too lost. Plus, she’d said she was going to get lunch, so presumably she was at one of the three restaurants. Unless she had gone back to the B&B to make something.

He tossed that thought to the side. She wouldn’t have done that. In desperation, he sent her a text because calling with everyone around wasn’t the best idea in the world.

Are you okay? Are you headed back? Let me know.

“Well, I think that’s it for us today,” Cliff said, coming over after talking to the cameraman. “You still thinking the homeowners are coming tomorrow?”

It was nearly impossible to get his attention up from that phone. “That was the plan the last I heard.”

“Okay. Well, we’ll be back bright and early.”

“K.” Honestly, he wasn’t even sure he looked up. Why wasn’t she at least texting back? Okay, so maybe she was driving. She didn’t text while she drove, did she? He fought back through the memories trying to find one that would set his heart at peace. Unfortunately, all the memories did was bring up more concern.

“Derek, we got this floor down,” Alex said. “You want to come look at it?”

“Oh. Uh. Yeah. I’ll be right there.” Where are you? Do you need me to come get you somewhere?

When Jaycee pulled back into the driveway, it was after four-thirty. She’d been gone a full hour, and she had no idea how that had happened. Grabbing up her phone, she looked at it and had to breathe down how worried he sounded even in the words. This time the screaming could well end in a pink slip.

Still she pulled out the white plastic bag with the food and headed in, fully prepared to act like nothing at all was wrong.

“Oh, hey, Jayc,” Alex said as the door opened, and Derek snapped up from where he was inspecting the now-sloping floor.

“Hey,” she said softly. She turned and pulled the door closed behind her.

When she came back around, her lips were tucked into her teeth and she swayed slightly when she looked over at him. “Lunch is here.”

Derek’s heart flipped end-over-end like a car crash that didn’t stop. “Okay. Take it to the kitchen. I’ll be there.”

“K.” And she turned the other direction.

It took serious effort to fuse his mind to the current task, but thankfully, the crew had built the thing to his exact specifications. “Good job. This looks perfect.”

“They called from the cabinet shop,” Alex said. “We should have the cabinets here by tomorrow. The countertops are supposed to be here tomorrow afternoon. The flooring is stacked in the garage. It got here today too. I think we may have the carpet people come on Saturday. That way my crew isn’t having to be here while they do that, give them the run of the place.”

Nodding, Derek fought not to peer into the kitchen. “Sounds good. This is going smoother than I thought. Who knows, if all goes well, we might get a few days off.”

“Don’t count on it,” Alex said. “You know something always comes up.”

“Don’t remind me.”

Alex laughed. “I think I’m going to get the guys to do some cleaning so these floors are ready when we are. We may try to get the kitchen floors leveled out tonight before we leave so we’re all ready to go for tomorrow. Oh, and the windows will be here tomorrow too and we can start on them.”

“Good plan.” Derek unlatched his tool belt and laid it by the wall. “I think I’m going to grab a bite.”

“Works for me. We’ll get this set up. It’ll take us a little bit anyway.”

Following Alex into what once was the kitchen but now was basically a hollow shell as the last of the sheetrock had been put on the walls while they were outside, Derek inspected even as he went, ticking things off in his mind that needed fixed, worked on, or finished. Over by the wall under the window, he located Jaycee picking onions off her burger. Head down as it was so very often these days.

“Ho.” He caught himself with his hand on the way down to right next to her. “This for me?”

She nodded, picked two more onions off, and put the bun back on top. Derek took a drink of the ice water never really taking his eyes off of her.

“Mine?” He reached for the other box.

Jaycee nodded again. Put her burger on her own box on her lap and took a drink followed by a long, slow sigh.

Opening the box, he was glad to see she had gotten him a double. Eating after 3 p.m. wasn’t the smartest idea in the world. He took one bite, chewed and looked over at her. She was now picking pieces of crumbs off the bun rather than eating.

“Did you shut your cell off when you went into town?” he asked, knowing she hadn’t.

She let out a long breath. “No.”

Wordlessly, he took another bite, still watching her pick but not really eat anything. “Any updates?”

A second and she shrugged, reached up and readjusted her glasses without lifting her gaze. “I called them. Well, my mom and Sage anyway. The guys are out sandbagging everything.”

For as hungry as he was, it was hard to remember he was supposed to be eating. Taking another bite, he did not taste, he watched her. “No changes in the track then?”

She sniffed. “Not enough.” Another breath and she shook her head. “I just wish they would have left.”

Completely helpless. He knew how she felt because he felt exactly the same.

Finally, she set the burger box off her lap to the side and put her head back on the wall. He could see then that she had indeed been crying, and his heart split in two.

“I just keep thinking, you know, ‘What if that’s the last time I talk to them? What if…?’”

“No. Now come on. Don’t think like that. You said it yourself, they’re taking all the right precautions.”

“But that doesn’t help if the roof collapses on you or an electric pole falls on your car or the tree crashes through your window.”

He knew enough to know she had already been through every nightmare scenario in her mind. She was like that—game out every possible pro and con, analyze so she could get it right the first time. That’s why she made such an awesome manager. She didn’t miss anything.

“I just can’t imagine going back, you know?” And then very briefly, her gaze came over to his. “Going back and nothing being like it was.” She shook her head and dropped her eyes to her lap. This breath was slow as if it and it alone was holding her together. “I just can’t imagine that. Stuff just being… gone.”

The others on the crew were now bringing in the flooring equipment across the expanse of space, and they were not doing so very quietly. Derek looked over at them as he finished off his burger and rolled the napkin up into a ball. Then he resumed his vigil with her rather than getting back to work as he normally did.

“You need to eat,” he said softly.

But she shook her head very slowly. “Every time I even think about eating, I about get sick.”

“Yeah, but not eating isn’t a good idea.”

Each breath seemed to take handfuls of energy. “Maybe in a little while.” At that, she pulled herself to standing with effort. “I think I’m going to go out onto the porch for a while. I really can’t take the noise and dust right now.”

Derek’s gaze went up with her, and worry trailed it. “You going to be okay?”

Very softly with sadness lacing it, she smiled down at him. “Yeah. I’ll be all right.”

He watched her walk out, crossing past two guys coming the other way. Her head was still down, and he wondered how they would ever get it back up again. “God, please help her.”

By the time they left the job site at nearly 7, Derek was even more worried about her than he had been before. She hadn’t said ten words since she’d gotten up from eating, and she hadn’t eaten either. As he watched her driving back to the bed and breakfast, he decided that somehow he was going to have to keep her together lest he lose her to whatever this was she was slipping into that he really didn’t clearly understand.

“You want to stop in town for something to eat?” he asked as they came down the mountain.

“Uh.” She shook her head as if trying to remember how to think. “Not really. If you want, you can take the car back.”

“Come on, Jayc. You’ve got to be hungry. All you had today was a banana and some milk.”

“I had coffee at the job site. This morning. Before the magazine people got there.” The words were defensive as if spit from the barrel of a gun.

“Coffee and a banana? Yeah, that’s real nutritious.”

“What are you? The diet police?”

It took everything in him to suck the anger back and hold it there. “Look…”

“No,” she said, deflating. “I’m sorry.” Closing her eyes, which wasn’t the smartest idea as she was still driving, she shook her head. “I’m sorry about today. I’m sorry about not answering your calls. That was dumb. I should be able to handle this.”

At the intersection that would lead them through the town, she sighed. “If you’re hungry, we can stop.”

“No. We don’t have to.”

“No. Derek, really. It’s no big deal. You have to eat. We’ll stop.”

But he knew she was only doing that to make him happy, which didn’t make him at all happy because she wasn’t.

“How about this?” he asked, wanting only to diffuse the situation if possible. “We go back to The Wild Rose. I order us something and go and pick it up. We can eat there for tonight.”

“You don’t want to do that. I can order it and go get it. That way you can rest.”

Anger at her for not letting him do anything bubbled up in his gut, and he wondered then how many times he had leaned on her with no thought to her stability at all. “I don’t think I’m the one who needs a break right now.”

Her gaze whipped across to his just as a car flashed past going the other direction. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Hello,” he said, now fearing for his life, “could you watch the road, please? I would prefer not to die in Fairmont, Nevada, thank you very much.”

Before she could reply, her phone went off on the little ledge. She reached for it, but he got there first.

“Derek!” she said, trying to grab it from him. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Answering your phone,” he said calmly. “Now drive.” He pointed at the road as he beeped the thing on. “Hello? This is Derek West. Jaycee can’t come to the phone right now, can I help you?”

There was a long pause of complete silence on the other end.

“Hello?” He pulled the phone back and realized it said Sage. Jaycee’s sister. He put the phone back to his ear even as he assembled the pieces of this puzzle. “Sage? Are you there?”

“It’s Sage?” Jaycee asked, reaching again for the phone. “Let me talk to her.”

“Uh. Hi,” the very soft voice finally said. “I’m sorry. I thought Jaycee would be off of work by now.”

“Oh. Well, she is.” Derek glanced over at her. “We’re just heading back home. Is everything okay? We’ve been watching all day.”

“Oh? You… have?”

“Yeah. Every update. Is everyone there?”

“Oh. Uh. Well, me and the kids are, but Luke’s still…”

Derek heard the sniff, and if it did half of what it did to him to Jaycee, he now understood why she was so freaked out. Worry pounced on him and refused to move. “Are you there by yourself? With the kids?”

“Uh. Yeah. We’ve still got power though and the phone lines.” She laughed softly. “Huh. Obviously, huh?”

Why did this feel so much like talking to Jaycee? He knew without a shadow of doubt that Sage’s plan when she had called was to fall apart with her sister, and yet, she was now holding it together for his benefit. “Do you have everything you need?”

“Yeah. We’re just waiting now.”

They pulled up to the bed and breakfast and parked. He glanced over at Jaycee who didn’t look overly pleased with him.

“Listen, we just got here, so I’m going to give you to Jaycee now.”

“Okay. Thanks, Derek.”

“Hang in there, okay?”

“I will. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Take care.” He pulled the phone away and tipped it to Jaycee. “It’s Sage.”

She nodded, a scowl etched on her face. “Sage?”

“Okay, I know this is weird,” her sister said, “but was that really Derek West?”

Jaycee was far too tired and stressed to be impressed. “Yeah. How are you?” She pulled her purse and her other belongings from the car as Derek got out and went up ahead of her. Up the porch they trailed and into the house where he held the door for her.

“Well, I’d be better if Luke wasn’t out playing hero. We’ve got the first little bands of wind coming in now, and they’ve declared a curfew except for the rescue people.”

“The fire department thing.” Jaycee trudged up the stairs. “Will he be out all night?”

“He said he might. We’ve talked a little on the phone, but I hate calling him all the time.” Remembering her earlier conversation with him, Jaycee now fully understood that. “But he’ll be home when the thing hits for real, right?”

She managed to get her bedroom door opened, stepped inside and dropped everything to the floor before shutting the door.

From the other side of that door, four feet away, Derek watched her once again shut him out of her life. One breath told him he should just go back to his own. This wasn’t his problem. She kept telling him that out loud and with every action she took; however, nothing in him could just leave her there to deal with it alone.

By morning her whole life could very well be changed forever, and this wasn’t a night he wanted her facing by herself. Quickly he went to his own room and changed into clean clothes. He grabbed up the small “Where Things Are in Fairmont” paper, checked it and dialed the number. In minutes the take out order was placed, and he pulled on his good boots. Only one more obstacle left. Maybe the biggest of all.

Exiting his room, he went to her door, and it was unfathomable how much courage it took just to get himself to knock. One knock. Two. And he waited, hands on beltline. What if she was taking a bath or a shower? He hadn’t thought about those possibilities. “Jayc?” he asked through the door, listening very carefully for the sound of running water and hearing none. “Hey, you there?”

Her door opened like she had no idea who might be there. “Uh, yeah, Sage. Hang on.” She pulled the phone down to her chest and looked at him with concern. “Do you need something?”

Worry smacked him hard at her disheveled appearance, but he forced himself to stay rational. “Keys?”

“Keys?” she asked as if she had never heard the word. “Oh. Keys. Yeah. Right. Sorry. Uh.” She bent and dug through the pile on the floor, tossing things this way and that. At the very bottom, she uncovered the keys. “Here you go.”

Handing them over, she barely looked at him, and when he didn’t move for one second too long, she closed the door in his face. With a sigh, Derek shook his head. As determined as she was to keep him out, he was more determined not to let her. He flipped the keys up and caught them as he went down the stairs.

On his way out, he pulled out his phone and swiped through the newest hurricane information. It was everywhere, and each thing he read sounded worse than the last. At the car, he got in, readjusted everything and headed out to the little town. He would get dinner, bring it to her, and this time, she would eat. He would make sure of it.

Chapter 10

Jaycee hadn’t so much as bothered to kick her shoes off. No. As she talked with Sage, she had only managed to turn the television on to watch the monster that was inching closer and closer by the hour. In fact, she hadn’t even done anything else after Derek left. So she was still sitting on the little bench when the second knock sounded on her door what felt like two seconds but was really thirty minutes later.

“Yeah, I know,” she said to Sage. “Uh, hang on. Someone else is here.” Going over, she wrenched the door open, the phone at her chest, clinging to the last of her sanity by her fingernails. “Do you…?”

However, the rest of the words got swallowed up when Derek lifted the white bags in his hands. “I hope you like spaghetti. I was thinking salad at first, but since you haven’t eaten all day, I figured a few carbs would be okay.”

Putting her hand to her head as it jerked backward, Jaycee stared at him. “Derek? What are you…?”

“I know. It’s okay.” He stepped past her into the room as she watched him, wide-eyed in disbelief. Waving to her, he went over to the desk. “Just go on with your phone call. No problem. I’ll get this set up.”

Another second of absolute panic, and Jaycee picked the phone back up to her ear.

“Jaycee? What’s wrong?” her sister demanded.

“Oh. Uh. Nothing?”

“It doesn’t sound like nothing. What’s going on? Who was there? Are you okay?”

As she stood there watching him pull the little desk from the wall, clear it off and get the chairs on either side of it, Jaycee wasn’t at all sure she was okay. Was it possible she had slipped down some invisible portal to a different realm?

“Jaycee! Talk to me!”

“It’s… Derek,” Jaycee said though it was as much of a question as a statement.

“I brought her something to eat,” he said quite loudly enough for Sage to hear. “Tell your sister she needs to eat.”

“Eat?” Sage asked. “Why haven’t you been eating?”

“You cannot live by banana and coffee alone,” Derek said, not modulating his voice down even a smidge.

Jaycee shot him a sour look, shook her head, and turned slightly.

“Banana and coffee?” her sister asked. “Jayc, why are you not eating? Are you okay?”

“Sage,” Jaycee said, cutting her off, “I’m fine. It’s this new… diet.” She didn’t want to lie, especially now, but she also didn’t want to tell the truth either.

“Well, if you haven’t eaten, you should go eat.”

“I’m not… hungry. I’m fine.” Winding her arm across her middle, she hunched over it, wishing he would go away so she didn’t feel so incredibly self-conscious.

At that moment she heard the kids on her sister’s side of the conversation.

“No. Not right now,” Sage said. “When Daddy gets home.”

Nostalgia hit Jaycee hard, and she closed her eyes hard to keep the emotions in check.

“Listen, Jayc, why don’t you go eat? I need to do a few more things here before Luke gets home anyway. Pajamas. Baths. That kind of thing. Who knows if we’ll get to do that again any time soon?”

“Sage…”

“I know, Jayc. Really I do. Just say some prayers for us. We’ll be fine.”

“I’ll call you in a little while.”

“Okay, but if the phones go out, don’t freak. Okay? They said they might. Just think good thoughts and say lots of prayers.”

Helpless felt absolutely horrible.

“Now go eat. That’s an order.”

“K.” Jaycee nodded slowly, not wanting to hang up. “I love you.”

“Love you too. I’ll be in touch.”

“Okay.”

Knowing she couldn’t get herself to hang up, Jaycee waited until with kid sounds in the background, Sage disconnected first. She wound her lips under her teeth, stood for one more moment and then let the phone down and clicked it off. The feeling that washed through her could only be called absolutely horrible.

“They okay?” Derek asked from behind her.

“Yeah.” But there was no energy behind the word. Worse, she had no energy to put on the mask for him tonight. I’m fine. Everything is great. I’m not about to be crushed by life. No, I’m really not. Why would you think that? Normally she was so good at it. Tonight it just felt like a stretch too far.

“This is ready,” he said softly, and with one more stern talking to herself, Jaycee turned.

It was hardly candlelight and roses, but she could see with no trouble how much effort he had put into this. She pulled up a half smile. “You really didn’t have to do this.”

“Well, I can’t have you starving to death on my watch.” In three strides he was next to her, and in the next breath, he had his hands on her arms. “Now, come over here.” He pulled her to the nearest chair. “Sit down.” Going to the other side, he pointed to her food. “And eat.”

With no hesitation, he sat on his side of the desk and rubbed his hands together before picking up his fork. Then he stopped one inch from digging in and looked at her. “Eat.”

Jaycee felt awkward and sheepish for the thought that went through her head. She shouldn’t say it. Not here. Not with him. But it wouldn’t let her go. “I just… um, would you mind, if we… said grace?”

His eyebrows jumped for the ceiling. “Grace? You mean like, praying?”

“Yeah,” and the desk pulled her gaze down to it. “I mean, just to ask for like protection for them and stuff?”

He let out a breath and tipped his head before slowly putting his fork down. “Okay.” Folding his hands, one over the other, his gaze never left her. “Do you want to say it, or should I?”

She hated asking, knew he’d probably never said a prayer in his life, but if she started talking, she would almost surely start crying, and if she started praying, she might never stop. “Can you?”

His eyebrows went up another notch, and he licked his lip as if he was stranded in the desert. “Okay.” With a half tip of his head as if he was going into battle, Derek lowered his head over his hands.

Nice hands, Jaycee thought just looking at him there like that. Capable hands. Now folded in prayer. She pushed that absurd thought from her head and closed her own eyes.

“God,” he said, clearly trying not to choke on the word, “um, we ask Your blessing on this food, and we ask for Your protection for Jaycee’s family. Although the storm will surely pass over them, give them strength to weather it and hope to get them through to the other side. Please be with Sage and the kids and with Luke and the others who are risking their lives to make sure others are safe. Amen.”

“Amen,” Jaycee whispered hardly able to get even that much out.

When Derek picked his head up and uncoiled himself from the hunched over position, he shrugged. “I’m not very good at that. It’s been a long time.”

“You did good.” She nodded, ducked, and nodded again. “Thank you.”

With one nod and a small smile, he picked up his fork and knife. “Now, eat.”

How could she say no after he had been so gracious not only to bring her food but to bless it as well? She cut into her pasta and took a bite. Normal. She needed it now more than the next breath. “So are you nervous about tomorrow?”

Derek checked her with an odd look as he took a drink.

“The house,” she clarified. “Marvin and Martha coming.”

“Oh.” His eyes went wider. “Well, I’d be lying if I said no. The living room is good, and even the wall is okay. But that kitchen being torn to smithereens is… Yeah. I’m a little nervous.”

“They got that outside ramp done today,” Jaycee said. “I’m guessing they’ll finish the one from the garage tomorrow.”

“The one in the living area is really going to work nice. I was so afraid we were going to have to do something that would mess up the fireplace. That would have been horrible.”

“It’s really a beautiful little house. Very peaceful.”

“Kind of like this place.” He looked around the room. “Hey, why doesn’t my room have a classy chandelier over the bed?”

She picked up her shoulder. “I guess I’m just a classy kind of gal.”

“Speaking of classy.” He ran his eyes down her and back up again. “Isn’t that what you were wearing today?”

Busted. She put her gaze down and pushed her glasses up. “Yeah, well, I hadn’t had time to change yet.”

With a concerned look, he checked his watch. “Were you planning to sleep in that? It doesn’t look all that comfortable.”

Jaycee shrugged. “It was a thought. I don’t know.” Her shoulders slumped. “I just sat down to watch for a minute, and…” Lifting her hand, she indicated the television behind her that was swirling different colors even as the news anchors chattered away silently. “Sage said she could hear the wind in the trees outside already. The thing isn’t really supposed to hit until like eight a.m., but some of the far outer bands are already coming on shore.”

“It’s so weird,” he said. “I’ve never really thought much about hurricanes. I mean, I’ve seen them on TV, just never watched them like this. It’s like a horror movie in ultra-slow motion.”

“Until it hits and then it gets scary real fast.”

“So do you think Luke will go home to ride out the storm?”

“I don’t know.” She pursed her lips. “I’ve been around Luke a long time. He’s the real responsible type, but sometimes he gets tunnel vision with stuff. He gets so busy helping, he doesn’t realize how long he’s been gone.”

“So you knew him… before they got married then.”

At that Jaycee laughed and then took a drink. “I’ve known Luke Baker from the time we played in mud puddles together in our diapers.”

Derek backed up skeptically. “Diapers?”

“Our moms were best friends. We lived a less than mile away from each other. So when anybody needed a baby sitter, they just dropped us off at the other house. Oh, yeah. We terrorized our share of mud puddles, climbed a lot of trees, got in a lot of trouble.”

“I find it hard to believe you got in much trouble.”

“Are you kidding? I was the queen of getting in trouble when I was little. Mom couldn’t keep my feet on the ground. I wanted to do everything the boys could do. If they could do it, I could do it better.”

“Oh, yeah? Like what?”

She shrugged. “Baseball, soccer, basketball, football.”

That backed him up. “Football?”

Her smile held both mischief and challenge. “I would’ve made the team as the kicker freshman year if Mom and Dad would’ve let me play.”

He cut into what was left of his chicken fried steak slowly. “I take it they didn’t.”

“Nah. They said it was too dangerous, so I had to settle for basketball, which was cool I guess, except I had to play with the girls.”

The effort to fight the smile was obvious. “This seems to be a pattern with you.”

Jaycee shrugged. “What can I say? I liked the challenge. The bigger the better.”

“Some things never change.”

However, she grew pensive as the enormity of what she might be facing now trounced across her heart. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think the challenges find me now instead of me going out to find them.”

His eyes fell into softness as he watched her, and then he ducked. “You going to watch it all night?”

“Probably.” She sighed as she pushed the noodles around and around the plate. “I’ve been watching it for three days straight. It would be kind of pointless to stop now.”

He nodded, eyes down for a long moment. Then he lifted them and bridged the gap between them with only his gaze. “So do you want some company?”

Instantly she snapped into protect-him mode. “Oh, you know, you don’t have to. I mean, I’m sure you want to get some sleep for tomorrow.”

“I’ll be watching it anyway. Might as well watch together, at least for a little while. You want me to leave, just say the word, and I’m gone. I don’t even have to drive home.”

She really should tell him to leave for so many reasons, but the truth was she wasn’t sure she was strong enough to face this one on her own. “Okay. But only for a little while.”

Over an hour later, Derek was propped up somewhere close to the middle of the king sized bed with her propped fully foot away from him. They had been sitting like that in the soft light of the table lamp, watching the thing swirl, listening to the reporters from up and down the coast reporting on wind speeds and wave height. Terms like storm surge and wind velocity that truthfully Derek had never really bothered to understand were now intensely interesting and important to him.

“So where are they exactly?” he asked, squinting at the map on the TV as he leaned forward over his crossed arms. “I’m not real familiar with North Carolina.”

“See where Wilmington is?”

“Yeah.”

“Up from there about an hour. Right about where that…” However, in the middle of her explanation, they cut to a reporter who was standing with his back to a blackened sea as the wind played havoc with his hood. “Yeah, well, about an hour north of Wilmington. We’re not right on the beach, but we’re not very far inland either.”

“Are you going to call Sage back?”

Jaycee sighed. “I probably should have, but it’s like after one there by now, and she’s dealing with who knows what.” She shook her head and sighed hard again. “I hate this. You know that? I hate being so far away. I hate thinking of the danger they’re in. I hate that she’s there all alone.”

His gaze traced over to her. “You don’t know that.”

“I don’t not know it either.” Reaching up, she scratched across the top of her head. “I keep telling myself, ‘Think positive, Jayc. Don’t focus on the negative. Don’t focus on what could happen.’ But I’ve gotta tell you, I’m about to lose my ever-lovin’ mind here trying not to think about everything that could happen.”

Not seeing any way to comfort her with words, Derek did the only thing he could think to do. He reached across and coaxed her closer to him so he could put his arm around her. One arm went around her shoulders and the other came to meet that one so when she got right next to him, she was wrapped in his arms more than anything. He hugged her to him, tightening his grip and put his head on the side of hers. “I hate feeling this helpless.”

Tipping her head, she glanced up at him. “Thanks for being here. I’m sorry I’ve been such a mess lately.”

He picked up his head and looked at her. “I just consider it payback for all the times you’ve held me together with super glue and duct tape.”

She grinned wickedly. “I’d like to duct tape your mouth sometimes.”

“Yeah? Well, then we’d be even on that one.” Settling in and feeling her settle next to him, Derek put his head back on the headboard’s upholstery. “It’s crazy how I just sit here and watch it, and I keep thinking it’s going to move, go somewhere else, weaken. Something, but it just keeps going forward toward that coastline.”

“I’ve thought that for like a week now. I just keep thinking about all the people I know there. I mean, my family yes, but some of my classmates are still around there, and people I used to go to church with. I can’t even imagine being them right now. I’m freaked out, and I’m 3,000 miles away.”

“I’m right there with you on that one.”

Then, even as he sat there, he felt her breathing even out and then slide into a soft rhythm. Not daring to move very much, he tilted his head only slightly to see if he could tell if she was sleeping. When her shoulders relaxed next to his ribs, however, he knew she was. So, figuring she needed sleep more than he needed to leave, he punched the button on the remote to turn the sound down but not off.

Settling himself in, he closed his own eyes and prayed that God would take care of everything that they had no control over.

When Jaycee woke up, her first thought was she should’ve been smart enough to turn the light off when she went to bed. Her next thought was how hard this pillow was. About that time the fact that it wasn’t a pillow registered, and she jolted awake to find the television still swirling in front of her.

Asleep. She had been asleep, and somehow she had ended up camped out on Derek’s thigh. His hand was on her shoulder, two of his fingers resting on her neck. She knew that because it was heavy and warm. Squinting as she worked to get her glasses back on right, she could just make out the time on the clock in the far right corner of the screen. 4:30 Pacific.

4:30 Pacific meant… 7:30 in North Carolina. Carefully, she extracted herself from him, slid off the bed so as not to wake him though truthfully he didn’t look at all comfortable still propped up next to the headboard. Not wanting to think about that, she went to the television and knelt down in front of it because it was so quiet.

“The winds are really starting to pick up here, Bill. We’ve got dawn starting to break as you can see the ocean now as much as you can hear it. We’re starting to be able to see down below us, and the water is starting to come up the beach as the first of the rain bands begin coming onto shore.”

The camera twisted to show deck chairs floating in the hotel pool and a small yellow flag barely holding onto its grip of the pole.

“Pretty much anything not tied down and secured at this point is fair game for the wind and the rain that’s starting for real now. The outer banks have all been under a mandatory evacuation since late last evening, so most of the folks around here have already packed up and moved inland. We’re preparing for a near direct hit here, and expecting Gabriel to come ashore in the next hour or so as at least a high Cat 3 or quite possibly a low-Cat 4 storm, and as slow as this monster is moving, we could see considerable damage to this once beautiful seaside town. This is Scott Davis, live from Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina. And now back to you in the studios.”

Jaycee sat back, her ankles curling underneath her, and she kept going until the bench caught and stopped her. Wrightsville Beach. Barely couple of hours from her home. A direct or near direct hit to Wrightsville would mean massive destruction and almost certainly injuries if not death. A Cat 4 hurricane. She closed her eyes. “God, please, please be with them.”

Derek squeezed his eyes closed against the onslaught of life and shoulder pain as he came awake. It took him a full minute to figure out where he was, and why he had slept sitting straight up. Then he remembered, and panic hit his heart. Jaycee. Where was she?

Coming full awake, he looked over to where she had been when he had fallen asleep, and there was nothing but an empty bed scattered with pillows. His gaze traced across the bed, down it, to the television, and there, he could just make out the hair barely clearing the sight line of the top of the bed. On the screen spun the hurricane in bright greens, reds, blues, and yellows.

He glanced over at the clock to see how much time had passed. 5:15. The breath he took was to explain to himself that he needed to be strong for her though he had no real idea how to do that. However, now was not the time to abandon the watch. Carefully, slowly, quietly, he moved forward and then crawled down to the end of the bed where he lay down, his hands coming under his chin as he watched the colors flash across the screen. “How’s it going?”

Gently he put one hand over and onto her head, smoothing out her hair that was still in the ponytail from the night before. Not so much from the surprise but more from his touch, she flinched.

“Cat 4. Almost a direct hit to Wrightsville.”

Nodding, Derek took that in. “How far away is that?”

“Two hours by road, not quite that on a map.”

Two hours? In Chicago, that could be like three miles in rush hour. “So what is that in miles?” He yawned, fighting to get his brain to work the numbers.

“Around a hundred or so. Not enough.”

Pulling his eyes down to his other sleeve, he rubbed them there, trying to get the fuzziness of everything to go away. “You been up for a while?”

“Little bit.”

He breathed that down, knowing he should have known when she moved, when she got up so he could be with her. The next question that went through him, he didn’t really want to ask because of how he knew it would sound. Still, he had to if for no other reason than to know how the logistics of the day might play out. For one more second, he smoothed her hair just liking how peaceful that felt, and then he reluctantly dragged the words up into the air. “So are you going in to work today?”

The breath was long and slow just before she shrugged. “What else am I going to do? Sit here and watch this thing and pray they don’t all die?”

That dragged his gaze off the screen and down onto her. He wanted to tell her it would be fine, that everything would work out. But he knew enough to know a Cat 4 hurricane was about the most unpredictable thing on the planet, and people died in those kinds of storms. He knew. He had already looked up the hurricane names he could remember. Andrew. Floyd. Rita, and of course, Katrina.

He remembered the tiny pictures on his phone. Whole towns reduced to matchsticks, and he couldn’t get himself all the way to there’s really no need to worry. She was worried, and she had every right to be. “Have you called Sage?”

This time, the breath was hard. “Not yet. It’s like 8:30 there now, so I guess I could.” She rolled to the side, out from under his hand, and he wished she hadn’t done that. He suddenly felt every inch she put between them.

Watching her as she went over to the little desk and picked up the cell to make the call, he realized she really hadn’t actually changed from the day before. She put her hand to her head as she listened to the thing ring.

“Come on, Sage, pick up. Pick. Up.”

“Is it ringing?” he asked, never moving from the bed.

“Yeah.” Her frustration was evident. Then she jumped and spun the phone. “Sage? Oh, thank You, Jesus. What’s going on? How are things?”

And then Derek got to listen to five minutes of uh-huhs and ohs. He couldn’t decipher all of them. Some sounded hopeful, others downright frightening. For her part, Jaycee simply paced one way in front of the television and then the other.

“So the rain’s there now? Uh-huh.”

Not that he blamed her for the worry creasing her sweet face, but he hated it just the same. On the screen, the shot of the reporter outside in the whipping wind told him it was much worse than the night before, and his breathing snagged on the silent prayer that had been in his heart since she had told him what was going on. He’d never prayed this much in his life. In fact, until now, he’d never really known whether or not there was a God. Now, he hoped more than ever that there was.

“Yeah, okay,” Jaycee said, her voice strained and unnatural. “Okay. I will be. K. Love you. Yeah. Bye.” She hung up, stood for a second, dropped the phone to her thigh, and with the saddest face he had ever seen looked over at him. “They’ve been getting rain since early this morning. The wind’s picked up a lot. They’re saying the hills should help because the water can’t really get up to the houses, but the trees are going to be a real problem.”

“Did Luke come home?”

“For a little while. He hauled in a bunch of firewood. They’ve got plenty of food and water. She says enough for a month, but who knows with my sister?” Coming over, Jaycee sat down on the corner of the bed and let her head fall forward. “It’s just crazy, you know? Talking about supplies and dry food. I can’t quite get my mind wrapped around all of it, even now. I can’t believe this is really happening.”

Propping himself up on one elbow and a wrist, Derek put his other hand over onto her waist, wishing there was something, anything he could do. “You sure you want to go to work? I mean, I’ll understand if…”

However, Jaycee just shook her head and smiled down at him. “You trying to get rid of me?”

Just the opposite his heart said before he could think better of the thought. “No.”

Her head went down further, and she laughed without making much of a sound. “No. I’ll be there. Freaking out and trying not to, but I’ll be there.”

And so, after a very fast breakfast following an even faster shower, Jaycee headed out to the car with Derek right there behind her.

“Why don’t you let me drive?” he asked, practically tripping on her heels. “Case Sage calls back.”

She knew what he was doing, but she decided to let him anyway. “You don’t mind?”

“Mind?” He blew out a short puff of air. “Oh, yes. I totally mind getting to drive this amazing car for like three miles. Of course I don’t mind.”

“Fine, Drama King.” Jaycee tossed him the keys. “Just get us there in one piece, okay?”

He went to the driver’s side as she went the other way. “Well, technically it will be three pieces. You. Me. And the car.”

Getting in, Jaycee rolled her eyes. “You’re in top form this morning. Maybe we should have had decaf instead.”

“And ruin my fun? Not on your life.” He fired up the car and then tipped his head. “You know, it wouldn’t hurt to stop for gas. We’re at nearly half-a-tank.”

That was normally Jaycee’s job, and she knew it. However, she was too tired to argue. “That’s fine. Just don’t make us late.”

“All in one piece. Not late. You sure can be bossy sometimes, you know that?”

The smile traced across her bruised and battered heart before she knew it was there. “Only sometimes?”

He glanced over at her. “I plead the fifth.”

Even as she checked and rechecked her phone, Jaycee managed to keep one piece of her head in the game. “The Andersons should be here about ten,” she said as they pulled into the driveway. “We’re doing cabinets first?”

“Long as the floors are ready. I want to do a walk through and check those squeaky spots.”

She nodded. Slow motion horror film. The words kept running through her head as she swiped through every news website for information she hadn’t yet gleaned from somewhere else. “Then the floors?”

“Kitchen today. They’re supposed to come lay the carpet in the living area tomorrow.”

“K.” It was amazing how hard it was to be in two places at once. “The Andersons should be here about ten.”

Turning off the car, Derek looked at her, considered, and then nodded. “Sounds good.”

It had been hours since she had talked to Sage. Three and a half to be exact. Knowing the Andersons would be arriving soon, Jaycee went out on the porch to place her call, leaving Derek and the crew making the final adjustments to the floors and kitchen sheetrock.

One ring, which she was grateful for. Two, which dragged out a prayer. Three, and Sage answered.

“Hey,” her sister said, and tired pulled at the syllable.

“Sage?” Worry bounced into her chest and clung there. “How is everything?”

The pause of a non-answer did her heart no good.

“Okay, I guess. They’re saying it hit just south of Wilmington. Luke says that’s good. I’m trying really hard to believe him.”

“How are the kids?”

“Uh. Scared mostly, but hanging in. The power’s having issues. It’s gone brown at least twice, but so far, it’s holding out.”

“How long before they think it will be through there?”

“Couple of hours. It’s like its got one foot on the gas and one on the brakes.”

“Have you heard from Mom and Dad?”

“Yeah, they still have power far as I kn—“

Jaycee snagged on the last word. “Sage? Sage, are you there?”

Nothing.

Swiping the phone from her ear, Jaycee dialed the number again, but it went to a terrifying beeping sound. “It’s okay, Jayc,” she coached herself. “It’s okay. We knew this was probably going to happen.” She forced herself to stay rational as she dialed their house number. One ring. Two. And the phone clicked just as a wine-red older car pulled into the driveway. The Andersons. Jaycee hardly noticed. “Sage?”

“Well, so much for cell phones,” her sister said with more air to her voice than solid anything.

“Did you lose power?”

“No. Not yet, but it probably won’t be long now. Luke had said it would either be cell phones and then power or power and then cell phones. Don’t worry. I’ve got all the flashlights ready for when that happens. The weirdest thing is how much like a tomb this place feels.”

Jaycee’s skin crawled with that thought. Did her sister have to use those words?

“With the windows all boarded up. We can’t see anything. It’s all just whistling and wind and rain, like being in a box in a blender.”

Down in the driveway the elderly couple disembarked as a younger woman got out of the driver’s seat to help them with the wheelchair. Someone should be down there to greet them. Striding into the house, Jaycee caught Derek’s attention even as she continued with the conversation with Sage and pointed out the door. They’re here.

One nod and he headed out past her, the hammer on the tool belt thumping against his leg.

“What did Luke say about the land lines?” Jaycee asked, feeling the last tether to them fraying.

“Who knows? They could hold out, and they could go out. Right now, it’s pretty much anybody’s guess.”

“Okay. Well, I’ll keep calling on this line.”

“Okay.” Snip-snap went the tether. “Jayc, just know whatever happens, I love you.”

“I love you too, but you listen to me, you’re going to get through this. You are stronger than you think.”

“Thanks.” The sniff did nothing for Jaycee’s heartstrings.

She closed her eyes and fought back the onslaught of tears. “I’ll call you in a while.”

“Okay.”

“Hang tough.”

“I’ll try.”

What else could she say? Jaycee fought to find it, but there was nothing. “Bye.”

“See ya.”

The phone clicked, and Jaycee put her head down to regather her determination to go on. It wasn’t easy.

When she managed to locate reality again, she found that they had gone not to the front door but to the side with the new ramp. Pushing everything else away, she walked down the side porch to them.

“Good morning,” she said brightly, and she didn’t miss Derek’s surprised look.

“Oh, good morning, dear,” Martha said. “This is my daughter, Elizabeth.”

The lady who was at least fifteen years older than her shook her hand. “Beth Gentry.”

“Jayce Lawrence.” Jaycee smiled again, falling into her role almost without effort. “So are you all ready to see the house?” Her gaze chanced over Derek who looked about five seconds from passing out. “Just be prepared because there’ve been lots of changes since you were here last, but I think the finished space is going to be amazing.”

“Let’s hope so,” Beth said.

“Let’s go see it,” her mother said.

Jaycee took the lead with the women following. Marvin easily navigated the short ramp, and Derek brought up the rear.

“This is so much better, Dad,” Beth said, and when they made it to the front, it was just behind the cameras.

“Hang out here for a second,” Cliff said, ducking to Jaycee before disappearing into the house.

“K.” She turned to the homeowners. “I’ve got to tell you, I just love this view. Okay, I could do without the tools and trucks, but I’m so jealous you get to enjoy this every morning. It’s so beautiful.”

“You know, I’ve often thought about putting some rocking chairs out here,” Martha said, “but I never got around to it.”

“What a great idea, Mom. Why did you never say anything?”

“Oh, you know. Too many other wants and needs.”

Jaycee snagged Derek’s gaze over the top of them, and a silent conversation passed between them. He was always looking for something extra-special to do for his homeowners. This could well be it, and it wouldn’t even be that challenging.

The door behind them opened slightly. “We’re ready.”

Turning to them, Jaycee grinned. “They’re ready. Let’s go see the first steps of your new house.”

He had always, always been proud of his work, and all the way up until Jaycee went to open the door, Derek was even in the ballpark of okay with this one. However, nerves ambushed him just about the time he got to the door. What if Marvin hated it? What if he told them they had wrecked his whole life’s dream? What if…?

Then, the second before he stepped in, there was a brush across his finger. His gaze jerked down as her two fingers curled for one split second around his. In the next instant, he was caught in the middle of her almond-colored eyes, and she smiled very, very gently. Her small nod said, It’s going to be okay.

Lifting his head, he nodded, grateful for her faith in him when he had none. Her touch lasted no more than a few seconds, and with that, he stepped through the door as well, leaving her to close it. He knew she would go no further. The camera wasn’t her thing, but she was always there, always, just out of the shot, making sure everything including him was absolutely perfect. Somehow he’d never fully appreciated that until this very moment.

“Wow!” Beth said. “It looks so open in here. It looks so much bigger.”

Derek stepped up next to them as they looked around in amazement. “We took out this wall to minimize the gauntlet that was this narrow hallway, and…” He went the other way as the cameras panned and followed him. “We’re going to lay the carpeting in here tomorrow, but how does this riser work for you now?”

Truly it was difficult to hide the trepidation as Marvin turned the wheelchair and motored it down the gentle slope that now led into the living room. However, it wasn’t Marvin who reacted.

“Oh!” Martha clapped as tears came to her eyes. “We can use this again!” Her daughter reached over and hugged her. “I can’t believe it. It’s an answer to prayer.”

With a smile, Derek nodded. “I’m glad.” He glanced at Marvin who still hadn’t said much of anything. “And now, we can check out the kitchen. It’s really just the shell right now. We’re going to start installing the cabinets today.”

At the back corner, Derek started laying out the configuration of the cabinets and how they planned to account for both the lost island and the high-low design for Marvin.

“Oh, Mr. West,” Martha said. “You’ve thought of everything.”

Although he appreciated the compliment, he was still worried about Marvin. A bit more, and Cliff cut the cameras. As the others went to inspect the newly open dining room, Derek crossed his arms and looked at Marvin. “So?”

The grunt wasn’t encouraging. “What’d you do with all the cabinets? Take them out and burn them?”

“Burn them? Absolutely not. We reconfigured them a little,” he said, “but we’re putting those same cabinets back in here. Are you kidding? Nobody builds cabinets like that anymore.”

It was only then that Marvin looked up at him from the chair, and Derek saw the sadness. Worry cascaded over him, and he sat down on his heels. “I know this must be incredibly hard, but believe me, we’re doing everything we can so this will be your house when we’re finished.” A second and he decided now was the time to spring the surprise. “In fact, today I’d really like it if you would help me supervise the cabinets going back in.”

“Me?” Marvin scoffed. “What good would I be?”

“Well, you built them. You know more about how this kitchen was designed and built than anyone. I figure I’ll be your hands, and you can tell me what to do.”

From across the room, it was all Jaycee could do not to keep looking over at Derek and Marvin. She hoped Derek’s charm would win the day, but Marvin was no pushover. When Derek sat on his heels, she smiled inwardly. He really was amazing. Kind. Compassionate. Thoughtful. If she let herself…

“I just can’t believe how they made this look like that wall was never even there,” Beth said.

“They can do miracles,” Jaycee said, snapping back to the conversation. “Sometimes they even still amaze me.” And she glanced again over to him. Her gaze dropped as she remembered the night before, how warm he was as he held her, how solid. No, it meant nothing, but it meant the world to her.

“You’re lucky,” Beth said, gazing at her with a gentleness that spoke of far more than just work.

“He really is smitten with you, you know,” Martha said.

Jaycee started to nod and then jerked to a stop. “What? With me? Oh. No. It’s not like that. We’re just friends. Not even friends, really. We work together. That’s all.”

Mother and daughter exchanged a knowing smile which told Jaycee that they had gotten exactly the wrong idea about the whole situation.

Scratching the back of her head, she shrugged. “I mean, he’s Derek West. I’m nowhere near his league.”

Mrs. Anderson smiled at her. “You might be surprised.”

“So you’ll help us then?” Derek asked.

“If you’re sure I won’t just be in the way.”

“I’m positive.” He stood. “So tell me what you think of the ramp in the living space. Does that work for you?”

“Worked fine.” Marvin folded his hands in front of him. “I was wondering how you were going to manage to raise the floor without making that fireplace look off.”

Derek laughed. “It was quite a challenge.”

“I was afraid I’d get here and it would be gone.”

It was Derek’s worst fear, that they would do something to offend the man who had wrapped his heart, soul and dreams up into this place. “My whole goal with this place is to make it work for you again but with your stamp on it, not mine.”

Gratefulness shone in Mr. Anderson’s eyes. “You know, people say things like that to get you to buy in, but I’m starting to think you really mean it.”

“I do.”

Marvin nodded. “Then what do you say we get to work on these cabinets?”

Derek clapped his hands together. “You read my mind. Let me get the guys and we’ll get to work.”

When lunch arrived, the others gathered around the few tables outside. Knowing the Andersons and Beth were being well-entertained, Jaycee went over to the fence and pulled out her phone. No news was normally good news, but somehow she didn’t trust that mantra in this situation. Swipe and she realized the hurricane was now swallowing up the coast and moving inland.

She spread out the map, frustrated when the hurricane went over the outline of the borders too quickly to accurately tell where it was. What was it like? What were they facing?

“How is it?” Derek asked suddenly standing not a foot from her and looking over her shoulder at her phone.

Swiping again, she shook her head. “Not great. Cell service is out. Probably the power too by now.”

“Have you called her? Landline I mean?”

“I haven’t had five minutes since I talked to her this morning when we got here.”

“Why don’t you call her now?”

Jaycee looked up at him. “Shouldn’t you be eating lunch?”

He quirked his eyebrow at her. “Shouldn’t you?”

Her gaze snapped back down to her phone. “I’m not very hungry.”

“Make the call, and then let’s get something to eat. The last thing I need is for you to dry up and blow away.” He stopped and corkscrewed his mouth. “Sorry. Bad choice of words.”

Despite her best efforts to be mad, she smiled. “You could say that.”

“Seriously, make the call. You need to.”

“Okay.” Putting all of her effort into dialing, Jaycee let out a breath as she whisked her hair back and away from her face, exposing it to the bright sunlight. “It’s ringing.”

“That’s good.”

“Come on, Sage. Pick up.”

“Hello?” Her sister sounded even more stressed than she had before.

“Sage? How is everything?”

“Oh, it’s just peachy. We’re sitting here in the dark playing Sorry with the flashlights. I know, baby. I know.”

“You still there by yourself?”

“With the kids, yes. They had to open the community center for some of the late evacuees from the shore.”

“Let me guess,” Jaycee said, but she didn’t even have to.

“You got it. Andrew. Andrew, darlin’. It’s Livvie’s turn. Let her have a turn, sweetheart.”

“How’s the house holding up?”

“That’s a good question. We heard something a while ago, and Jeremiah asked if the roof would come off. I’m hoping the answer to that is no.”

“Ugh. You and me both.” Jaycee leaned against the fence realizing that Derek hadn’t even moved. He was still standing right there, arms crossed, listening to every word. “So you’re in the dark then?”

“That would be a yes. Four, Liv. See, one, two, three, four. Good girl.”

“Well, hang in there. We’re praying for y’all.”

“That’s good ‘cause we need every one we can get.”

“I’ll call again in a little while, to make sure everything’s still okay.”

“K. Thanks, Jaycee.”

Thanks seemed a bit overrated for the underwhelming job she was doing. “Talk to you soon. Love you.”

“Love you too. Bye. No, Andrew, you can’t….” And she hung up.

Jaycee let the phone drop on the swing of her elbow. “Power’s out. They’re in the dark. They opened the community center for some of the last to evacuate, so Sage is thinking that’s where Luke is, taking care of them.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “This is impossible.”

With no warning at all, Derek stepped right over to her, put his arms around her and wrapped her to him. “You’re doing everything you can. We’ve just got to keep praying and think positive.”

That had never been harder in her life.

Chapter 11

As they worked, Derek had to admit even he was impressed with Marvin’s depth of knowledge. For someone with no formal training in construction, he was pickier even than Derek himself. And he had great ideas about how to handle the intricacies and issues that always cropped up. The half inch gap from one cabinet to the other that wasn’t supposed to be there and hadn’t been there when they took the cabinets down, it was Marvin who figured out how to make that work. Shelving, doors, drawers. It was like he knew these cabinets better than his own skin.

“So how long did it take you to put these together the first time?” Derek asked his host as they worked reinstalling them.

“Well, I was working full time at the shop in town at the time,” Marvin said, watching carefully as they set the reconfigured high-low portion on the end. “I think this run took about a month—weekends, nights, any spare minute I could find.”

Cognizant of the cameras rolling, Derek knew this little mini-interview would surely make the final cut, and he was determined not to be the reason it didn’t. “And all by hand?”

“Oh, well,” Marvin said a little sheepishly. “I did have a couple of power saws and a nail gun, but they weren’t anything like what you young guys have. Mostly it was me and a hammer, and Martha when I needed three hands.”

“Sometimes those come in handy.”

Marvin laughed. “They sure do.”

The high-low one was in now.

“So, what do you think of this?” Derek asked, testing its sturdiness. They had effectively taken out the bottom eight inches and reconfigured the base as well as making an opening that the wheelchair could fit into and under.

Rolling up to it, Marvin propped his elbows on the non-existent countertop. “I think I’m doomed.”

Concern pummeled Derek’s spirit. “Doomed? Why? It won’t work?”

However, Marvin smiled up at him. “Now Martha’s going to expect me to help. Gee, thanks.”

The laugh jumped out of him so fast, it even surprised him. “My apologies.”

Then Marvin rolled back slightly to look at the newly designed expanse of cabinets. “No. I’ve known we needed this for a couple of years now, just never could figure out how I was going to get it done.” He turned just enough to look Derek in the eye. “Thank you. This is better than I could have ever imagined, and I know Martha’s going to love it even more than I do.”

Knowing if he took the compliment in, he would be reduced to a puddle in front of the cameras, Derek pursed his lips and nodded. “That’s what we do here. Make dreams come true.”

“Well, you’re very good at it.”

“Thanks, Marvin. Coming from you, I think that’s the best compliment I’ve ever had.” Derek put his hand out, and Marvin shook it. And somehow the fact that the cameras were rolling never so much as crossed Derek’s mind.

“Beth took Martha home,” Jaycee said when there was something of a small break around two o’clock. “She was really running out of steam.”

“What about Marv?” Derek looked from the hallway back into the kitchen where Marvin was giving the crew a mini-lesson on installing cabinets the old-fashioned way. The wheelchair was hardly even slowing him down.

“She’ll be back for him around five. I figured that would be long enough to get everything you want for the filming thing. After that, the cameras will probably pack it in anyway. Cliff said he’d send one tomorrow but not the big crew just for that little bit of carpet.”

Derek wasn’t so sure Marvin would be ready to go even then, but he didn’t have a good enough grasp on the logistics of that to protest. “How was Martha?”

“Overwhelmed mostly.” Jaycee’s head was down as she swiped across her phone. “She loves it obviously. What did you think? She wouldn’t?”

That she was becoming short with him told him she wasn’t really in the conversation and that the stress from everything else was starting to crowd this reality out. “So how are things in NC? Have you heard any more?”

“Called Sage an hour ago. Still wind and lots of rain. No power. Luke came by for lunch. She said he looks half dead, so now she’s worried about him too. Seems like some of the lower lying areas that they didn’t evacuate got flooded, so now the Coast Guard is trying to get those people out and bring them to higher ground, which means the center, which means trying to find blankets and food and supplies for all these people they weren’t planning on.”

“How are the kids?”

“Playing every board game they have. I think the boys are fine. It’s an adventure for them for now. The little ones… the noise I think and Sage being so wound up. It’s stressful.”

He crossed his arms, looking down at her looking down at the phone. Just then his phone buzzed in his pocket, and annoyed with that, he yanked it out and took a look at it. “It’s Katie.”

Jaycee nodded without ever moving.

Two swipes and he had it on. “This is Derek.”

“Derek. Oh, good. I’m glad I caught you. Listen, Eva just called, and she was wondering why you hadn’t called her.”

Eva. In all the commotion of the week, he’d completely forgotten about her. “Oh, man, Katie. I forgot about that.” Not really knowing why, he turned so he was halfway around from Jaycee now more sideways to her than straight on. His hand came up to the back of his head to further block himself from her. “Listen, I don’t think I’m going to be able to swing it tonight. We’ve had some things come up here.”

“I thought you wanted to go to Reno.”

“I did. It sounded cool, but…” He felt more than saw Jaycee’s gaze come up, and he glanced over at her. “Uh, I just… didn’t…” Putting his thumbnail to his forehead, he scratched it there. “I’m just not sure it’s going to work now.”

What? Jaycee mouthed with worry on her face.

He shook his head and turned even further.

“But Eva was really looking forward to it. You can’t bail on her now. You surely aren’t working tomorrow night, are you?”

“We’re laying carpet in the morning.”

“Tomorrow night. It’s Saturday night. Come on, Derek. Even you don’t work all the time. Besides, it’s Reno, baby. You can’t miss Reno.”

More annoyance tramped across his heart. “I know it’s Reno. I’m just saying I don’t know if I can swing it this time.”

At that moment, Jaycee stepped up next to him, looking imminently more worried than she had before. “You should go.” She shrugged. “Seriously. We’re all right here, and you need a night off.”

He looked down at her in irritation. She of all people should know this wasn’t about the renovation. Of course, that was on track… better than on track, and yes, he had Saturday night free. It was just that he wasn’t sure he wanted to spend it with some woman he’d never met for no reason other than he could.

“Really,” Jaycee said with a shrug of emphasis. “You can take the car. It’s fine.”

“Katie,” he said into the phone. “Let me think about it, and I’ll get back to you.”

“Okay, but don’t forget.”

“I won’t forget.” Something about that snapped his last nerve. “Bye.”

And he clicked off the call.

Jaycee knew this was going to take more sanity than she had left, but she needed him to go back to the way things were because if they continued down the path her heart kept wishing they were on, she knew she wouldn’t be able to withstand the inevitable heartbreak.

“You and Katie going to Reno?” she asked, her gaze back on her phone although her heart was not there at all.

He shook his head. “Her cousin. She was trying to set me up.”

“Oh.” Jaycee nodded as if this wasn’t killing her. “You should go.” She shrugged again. “Tonight. Tomorrow night. I think we’re plenty far ahead here.”

When he didn’t move just stood there looking at her, she took a silent breath and looked up at him, determined not to look desperate and needy. “What? You wanted to go to Reno. We’ll be done here by noon tomorrow. Unless you want to take off now…”

A flash of genuine anger crossed his face. “I’m not leaving now. You know me better than that.”

She shrugged and went back to the phone. “So five then? You could be in Reno by eight. It’s not like it closes.”

“I have to be back here by seven in the morning.”

This breath was shorter. “Whatever, but if you want to go, you should go.”

A second to process the slamming of the door in his face once again, and Derek picked his phone back up. “Fine. Then maybe I will.”

“Good. You need a break.” Her phone rang. One look and her face fell. “It’s Sage. I’ll take this outside.” She glanced up at him. “Go ahead. Call Katie back. I’m sure she’s sitting there waiting.” And with that, she clicked her phone on and headed out to the front porch. “Hey, Sage. What’s up?”

Overwhelming irritation slithered through him and sat right on top of his heart. No it wasn’t like that with her, but that she could stand there and practically throw him at someone else really hurt. He hit redial, put his hand on the back of his neck, and told Katie he would pick Eva up the following evening for a night on the town. When he hung up, it occurred to him that he had never been less excited about any date he’d ever been on. But there wasn’t much he could do about that now, so he put the whole thing in the back of his mind and went back to work. Work. At least there he could have some sanity.

“One of the firemen?” Jaycee asked in horror.

“Yeah. They said he’s going to be okay, but…”

Rescue stories were piling up, but so were nightmare scenarios. People trapped as water rose. Houses being ripped apart. Trees down. Highline wires down. The whole cell tower had given out under the fierce conditions and debris being hurled at it. That’s why they were now relegated to the landline.

“They’re pulling even the first responders off the streets for the next hour or so,” Sage said. “The pastor convinced Luke to come home. He’s sleeping. At least I hope he’s sleeping. He’s in bed for what that’s worth. I don’t think he’s had more than an hour of sleep at a stretch in the last four days.”

Luke. Jaycee wanted to give him a hug more than she ever had. “How are you?”

“Mostly trying to keep the kids quiet so he can sleep. Only another couple of hours, and it should be past us.”

A couple of hours. Jaycee wasn’t sure she could last that long, but she didn’t tell Sage that. “So we make it through a couple more hours, and then pick up the pieces.”

“There may be a lot of pieces to pick up.”

Something deep in her agreed more than she could ever put into words.

Beth showed up to get Marvin at five and didn’t leave until six-thirty. Jaycee was glad to see how much he appreciated being included in the process of putting his life’s dream back together. She could tell how much better that made Derek feel about the whole thing as well. So other than that she hadn’t heard from Sage since the last call, things were finally starting to make some sense again.

Going out at seven, they climbed in the car, her driving, him riding. Yes, back to normal would be nice.

“So you want to stop for dinner?” she asked as they made their way down the mountain, and she noticed how little he had said.

“Whatever.” He glanced out the window to the trees beyond it.

Frustration coiled around her. “Well, do you want to or not?”

“I don’t care. Whatever you want to do is fine.”

Considering she was supposed to keep him happy and on even-kilter, she didn’t think her choosing was the way this was supposed to go. “We could pick something up, or I could go back in, or we could just grab something at the B&B.”

He never so much as glanced at her. “I don’t care.”

Jaycee exhaled hard. “Just tell me what you want to do, Derek. We’re almost to town.”

“I said I don’t care. What does ‘I don’t care’ mean to you?”

Wow. Why did that feel like he was talking about far more than food? Closing her eyes for a second, she gathered in everything she wanted to scream at him and stuffed it all into her heart though it threatened to come back out as tears. “Fine. We’ll go back. I’ll order some take out and go get it. Will that work?”

“Whatever.”

In thirty minutes Jaycee was headed back to town after placing the order which was less than easy because frankly Derek was about as petulant as a tired two-year-old. Then, as she drove, she remembered the night before and Sage’s comment about Luke looking half-dead. Although Derek didn’t look that bad, she knew he hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before either. Worse, she knew that was her fault. She was busting his chops for trying to be a friend to her. What sense did that make?

Somehow, she was going to have to get past this whole messed-up idea of them being together. He was trying to be her friend. Nothing else. “Grow up already, Jaycee. It’s not like that, and you know it.”

Pulling in to The Wild Turkey, she scratched across the disc playing the absurd idea of them being together that her mind kept trying to play by reminding her of their first time coming here. That was pointless and stupid. She went inside and told them why she was there. The guy at the front told her it was going to be a little longer because they were one cook short, so she climbed up onto a bar stool and took out her phone. It was as good a time as any to get caught up.

Seven-thirty her time meant ten-thirty theirs. The storm should be on its last legs through there by now. She dialed the number and was met with a furious, low beeping sound that yanked the phone from her ear. Did she misdial? Shaking her head, she tried again, but the beeping came back on before she even got the phone to her ear.

Horror knocked on her consciousness, but she beat it back. “Don’t panic, Jayc. You probably just dialed the wrong number.” Slowly, methodically, she went through the numbers, and once again she was greeted with the beeping. “Oh, come on. Don’t do this to me. Not now. Come on. Not now.” She took one breath to think. “Mom and Dad.” She dialed that number, praying like she never had before. But the second the beeping started, she knew.

Clicking the phone off, she squeezed back the tears. “Oh, God, please let them be all right.”

Derek took a shower, thinking that would help. It didn’t. Neither did clean clothes or clean socks. He went over to the television, clicked it on, and against his better judgment clicked to the weather channel. Turning it up one notch so he could hear it, he sat down on the bed.

“We’re getting the first few pictures of the coastline of North Carolina, Bob, and to say it’s not pretty would be an understatement.”

The picture went from the reporter to the destruction, and Derek’s breath caught in his lungs. He leaned forward watching as the helicopter scanned the landscape that looked like someone had dumped a trillion toothpicks onto it.

“We’re under mandatory curfew overnight here, so there’s not much movement on the streets—or what were the streets here right now. The Coast Guard and the first responders are still out, going house to house, but we’re not sure how much longer that patrol will continue as there are downed power lines everywhere. They’re estimating two million without power right now, and that number is likely to grow overnight.”

The knock sounded on his door, and Derek hit the mute button, knowing who it was. He went over and opened the door, leaning on it with his elbow when he found her standing there, looking much smaller than she normally did. He couldn’t account for that, but he saw it just the same.

Barely picking her eyes up to his, she lifted one bag. “I got you steak and a potato. I hope that’s okay.”

He should apologize. Really he should. This was stupid. He was stupid. She was hurting, holding it together in unimaginable circumstances, and what did he do? Act like she deserved to be trashed. “Jayc…?”

“Yeah, I know,” she said quickly. “I’m really sorry about before. It’s just…”

“I know,” he said as his arm slid down the door. A thought smacked into him. “Do you want to…? We could eat…?”

But she shook her head. “I’m really tired.” Lifting the bag an inch more until he took it, she only glanced up at him once. “Do you need anything else?”

He would never, ever say the words that went through his brain. “No. Go get some sleep. If you want to skip it in the morning…”

“I’ll be there.”

And he knew she would.

Off and on the rest of the night, Jaycee tried the numbers for Sage and her parents, but the beeping never stopped. The pictures on her television screen were doing nothing to assuage the pain and fear in her heart, and when she fell asleep askance on the bed, she had never so much as bothered to touch the food on the desk or take her glasses off or do more than let the tears pour out of her heart right along with the pleas of desperation to a God she had thought she had long-since left in her past.

How she made it up and to breakfast with anything left of her sanity, she couldn’t account for, but she did just the same. She found him in the little nook already eating corn flakes, and it took immense effort to get anywhere close to okay. Going over to the coffeepot because today milk just wasn’t going to be strong enough, she poured herself a cup, grabbed a banana from the center island and went over to one of the other chairs, making sure to leave a seat between them.

Once down, she peeled into the banana, knowing he was probably watching her and not wanting to give him any ammunition. The last thing she needed was another fight. Her gaze stayed down on her phone as she swiped through the newest news which was about as hopeful as the old news had been.

“Anything new?” he asked before crunching into the next bite.

“No. Just a lot of bad news.” She kept her head down and ate the banana which threatened revolt all the way down her throat.

“You heard from them? How is it where they are?”

She shook her head but didn’t really answer as she took another bite.

“Sure wish there was something we could do,” he said, and she heard the helplessness.

“Yeah. Me too.”

She was quiet the whole day. As they laid the carpet, she kept to herself, head arched over that phone. If someone asked her something, she answered, but that was about it. Derek wanted to ask how she was, what was going on, and a thousand other things, but what good would that do? The answer was always the same, and he could tell it just depressed her even more to talk about it. They were finished by noon, and together they headed back to the bed and breakfast. He had a date, but he couldn’t get anywhere near excited about that. Eva somebody that he couldn’t care less about if he tried.

“Have you talked to Sage?” he asked, desperately hoping Jaycee would open that door just a crack between them.

“Not for a while.”

“It’s past them by now?”

Jaycee nodded but kept her gaze on the road ahead. “So Monday we put the counters in and start the flooring?”

He let out a breath, frustrated at how easily she could change the subject. “Yeah.”

“Tuesday is the radio thing, and Wednesday we really need to get Cliff to film a few promos for the upcoming season. Devon sent a list over of the stand-ups they need for that.” She turned to head up to the B&B. “I’ll forward that list to Cliff so he can be ready. They’re also gearing up for Christmas. Some promo thing for the station. It’s a giveaway of some sort. I didn’t really read it too close, but it shouldn’t be too hard.”

Derek nodded, wanting with everything in him to get her to stop with the work thing and just talk to him.

“I think they’re also floating the idea of you being a guest judge on one of the design contest shows next Spring. Not sure about that, just a few mentions here and there.” Into the driveway they went, and she parked near the pine trees. “We’ll have to see how that goes. I think you’d be good at it, but I’m sure they will be needing some type of commitment in the next month or so on it.” She shut the car off and gathered up her things between them, never once so much as glancing at him. “We’ll have to work the schedule around it though. The buzz is it’ll be in California, so that might mean being home for a couple weeks. That would be nice for a change.”

Home. It was such an odd word in his life.

He opened his mouth to say something and found her exiting her side of the car. Quickly he got out as well and met her at the back of it. She never stopped, and he knew his chance of having a meaningful conversation was slipping through the fingers of time.

Just before he got something logical out of his mouth, she suddenly turned. “Oh, yeah. I forgot. Here you go.” Holding the keys out between them, she tipped her head. “Don’t risk anything. Okay? If you need a room there, just let me know and I’ll book you something.”

Risk anything. The words twisted in his brain and then snarled in his gut as he understood what she was saying. Drinking.

With a swipe he took the keys from her. “I can get my own room if I need it.”

She shrugged and turned on her foot. “Your call. Just don’t want you to do anything stupid if I can help it.” Up the porch and into the cabin she went.

How one person could be so incredibly infuriating, Derek did not know. “What’re you going to do without a car?”

“A car? What do I need a car for?” Going straight through the room and to the stairs, she climbed them as if scaling Everest. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere. I go to work and back here. That’s my exciting life. So don’t worry about me. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

At her door, she unlocked it, opened it, and went in.

“Have a great weekend,” she said brightly though her gaze never really latched onto his. “I’ll see you Monday morning.” And then, she shook her head, took one silent step into the room, and shut the door between them.

With everything in him Derek wanted to take three steps and pound on that door. The thing he least wanted to do was to go to his own room, get ready, and go on this date. However, since he couldn’t justify doing the former, he did the later. What difference did it make anyway? It wasn’t like he was out to find a real relationship or anything. So Jaycee was a cold fish who could brush him off like snowflakes on a new wool coat. So what? She was just a woman among millions of others, and he knew they wouldn’t treat him like this.

His mind kept telling him that as he went into his own room, got ready for a night on the town, and grabbed up the keys. Eva Whatever-Her-Name-Was sounded like the perfect way to get his mind off of his aggravating personal assistant-manager. However, going out and walking past her door without letting the tug of it overcome him took immense amounts of discipline. He could do this. He’d done it a gazillion times before. Why should tonight be any different?

But even as he got into the stylish car and headed out, his heart said this was different, very different. It wondered silently why he was leaving when Jaycee needed him the most, and he told it to shut up. It wondered why he would think taking out some girl he didn’t know should trump being there for Jaycee, and he told it to mind its own business. It wondered… and it kept wondering, no matter how forcefully he tried to tell it he didn’t care.

The television was on before she even put her things down on the floor, and sitting down, Jaycee grabbed up the little cell phone, dialing it as if her fingers were on fire. When the beeping started, it felt like a knife going right through her. “Come on. Please. Please, God. Please…”

“… extensive damage up and down the coast tonight, Dan,” the reporter said. “Mandatory curfews in most cities and even small towns. Downed trees and power lines, which make the scene look more like a warzone, and as darkness falls, nearly three-and-a-half million people are without power. It will be a massive clean-up by morning. Right now, residents here are just trying to survive so tomorrow they can assess and move on.”

She closed her eyes and fought back the tears. “Please, God.”

Eva turned out to be even more beautiful than Katie had given her credit for. Long flowing dark hair, long legs coupled with the heels to make her just shorter than he was, and a body poured into a white cling dress that clung in all the right places—she was gorgeous.

“Ready?” he asked at her doorstep, and she batted her long, jet-black eyelashes at him.

“More than.”

The maddening thing about the newscasts was that they showed Wilmington and Wrightsville Beach and a few points north of there, but they never mentioned the places she cared most about. Presumably her family was within the three-and-a-half million without power not to mention the untold number who had lost all contact with the outside world, but it would have done her heart so much good to just see points of interest in her little town still standing. Yes, that would have been a good thing. But it didn’t happen.

The Golden Dragon proved to be just the right mix of noise and showmanship. If you wanted to be seen, this was the place to do it. With his arm tucked just so around Eva, Derek made his way through the lobby and right into the casino.

“What do you say,” he asked, “play a little before we eat later?”

She put her hand up onto his shoulder and twisted herself closer to him. “Whatever you want, Derek.”

He laughed softly at that but nodded just the same. “How about Black Jack?”

“You lead. I’m following.”

Jaycee did manage to get into her pajamas by nine, and remarkably she even got some mac and cheese heated up in the downstairs microwave. It wasn’t posh or even very nutritional, but it did take the edge off the gnawing headache, which was a blessing. Rolling to the foot of the bed, she grabbed a pillow and settled in for the long night of watching and worrying ahead.

Fake. It all felt so incredibly fake, and Derek couldn’t shake that feeling no matter what he did. They gambled a little with Eva fawning and purring all over him, practically falling out of the top of her dress, presumably for his benefit. There had been a time in his life that he would have not only appreciated the effort she put into the act, but he might have even fallen for it. Not to the point of believing it, but enough to be willing to pretend with her.

Tonight was not that night.

They went to a late show which turned out to have more skin than the swimsuit edition of the sports magazine that hit the stands every February. For most of it, he sat wondering how bad it would look to keep checking his watch. There was really nothing that could be called music to the thing, and the show was embarrassing for how hard it tried to be risqué. Few times in his life had he been so thankful something was over.

As they walked out, arm-in-arm, he blinked twice to remember this was supposed to be his fun night on the town. Somehow fun had gotten lost in all the fake, and how that happened he had no idea.

“Excuse me,” a young woman said when she bumped into them, but when she looked up at him, Derek knew. Her eyes grew wide and then wider still. “Are… are you…? You are! Maya! It’s Derek West.”

That’s all it took to be surrounded, and as he signed autographs and took selfies with half the people in The Golden Dragon, Derek wondered if Jaycee’s night was going any better than his.

Drowsy and not at all awake, Jaycee got up at midnight-thirty and shut off the light. She didn’t bother to shut off the television though. It wouldn’t matter too much since it and her nightmares were all saying the same things anyway.

Chapter 12

Derek made it back to the bed and breakfast sometime after four a.m. Frustrated with himself and the whole night, he tossed the keys onto the little table that held the television, sat down on the little bench and pulled off first one and then the other boot. What an unbelievable waste of time. He’d probably even lost money though he hadn’t really even bothered to count.

The show and dinner had set him back enough. Eva. She of the long flowing hair and innuendo that never really quit. Oh, she was far less than subtle, but not terribly convincing. She liked him, a lot, and he wondered at that as he sat on the bed and grabbed the remote. She was just like all of them—smooth and seductively phony. With one shake of his head, he was a half-second from hitting the channel button when the scene there stopped him.

Concerned, he hit the volume button to turn the sound up although the pictures were enough to make his blood run cold. No longer some random, long ago hurricane. No these pictures were time-stamped from just hours before.

“The sun will be coming up here before long, Johnny,” the reporter said, “and with the rain finally moving on for good, it’s safe to say that residents here will soon be taking their first steps on the long road ahead of them. Even in the areas where structures survived, the tree damage is just unprecedented. Many of them have simply been uprooted, others snapped and toppled. No doubt many of them are the reason for the power situation being so difficult. The power crews are working nonstop, and we’ve had reports of crews coming in from as far away as Texas to help with the cleanup and to get some of the four million customers still without power back online.”

Derek raked in a hard breath. Four million? Had Sage and Luke gotten their power back yet? Was Luke home with Sage and the kids or out playing hero? How irrational was it of Derek to want to shake that guy? He didn’t even know Sage… or Luke for that matter, but the fact that Luke was making Jaycee worry even more than she would in the situation normally did not make Derek feel especially cordial to the guy.

Then again, he was trying to help, and Derek kept asking himself if he would do any different if he were in Luke’s shoes.

“The cleanup starts tomorrow,” the reporter continued, “but I don’t think this coast line will be put back together for a long, long time. And now back to you in the studios.”

It wasn’t hard to see why, and as Derek slid down in the bed, he hit not the off button but only the volume, hoping by morning the scenes would be different. Sunshine and smiles. Though he knew that wouldn’t be the case.

The next morning, Jaycee awoke before the sun. That was one of the hazards of the job. Getting up early was just so ingrained in her that doing anything else was nearly impossible. Not really paying any attention to the noise of her departure, she went out and down the stairs. No one but her was here anyway, so she didn’t bother to get out of her pajamas, which were more sweatpants and an old T-shirt than anything.

Rubbing her eye, she went to the kitchen and poured herself some coffee before grabbing a Danish and sitting down at the table. Healthy food. That was for people who wanted to live. This morning, she really didn’t. At the table, she swiped the cell phone on and dialed the number though it was barely eight there. The beeping dragged a low growl out of her, and she hit the off button and dropped the thing to the table a bit harder than she probably should have.

“You’re up early.”

His voice suddenly permeating the kitchen made her jump so hard she very nearly spilled the coffee right down her beige-and-maroon T-shirt.

“What…?” She swiped at herself, though none had really spilled, before setting the cup down deliberately and turning to look at him in bewilderment. “What are you doing here?”

For his part, Derek grabbed up the box of corn flakes, a bowl, spoon, and the milk before bringing all of it to the table. He sat down not looking very Derek like. Disheveled was never a word she would ever have used to describe him, so this version of him surprised her.

“You just getting in?” Defensively and spitefully, she put her feet up in the other chair and bit into the Danish, trying honestly to fold the rest of herself over her own not-at-all-put-together self.

“Been here for a while.” He got the cereal ready and bent over it looking very much like the morning after the night before.

“I told you I’d get you a room if you wanted one.”

“Thus, why I didn’t tell you to get me one.” He crunched in the otherwise silent kitchen for three bites. Then he lifted his chin toward the cell phone lying on the table. “You heard anything?”

Jaycee didn’t know the question was coming soon enough, and she jerked her head to the side to avoid his gaze which came up and snagged hers. At first she thought she was going to be able to bluff her way through the answer, but her heart thudded forward and keeled over onto the ground before she got the words out. Shaking her head very slowly and putting her head down, she wound her top lip under her teeth and bit it hard to keep the tears in their well-appointed dungeon in her heart. Unfortunately, they had already breached the door before she slammed it shut. She squeezed her eyes closed and tilted her head, fighting the tears and pain with all her might.

The crunching across the table slowed, and she felt his gaze melting through her. If he would just stop looking at her like that, maybe she could get it together or keep it together enough to fake her way through this. However, his gaze never so much as moved.

“Jayc? What’s going on? Have you heard from them?”

She sucked in the tears and all the emotions of the past 24 hours as she willed herself to look at him and hold his gaze without cracking. “Their phones are out.”

His spoon lowered as his gaze mingled and melded with hers. “Out? What?”

“Yeah.” She ducked and nodded, trying to make it sound like no big deal, trying to make him believe this wasn’t killing her. “Yesterday.” Shaking her head again, she forced herself to meet his gaze even though doing that felt like it was pulling her heart right out of her chest. “But I’m sure they’re okay.” Her eyes begged him to agree with her. “Right? They’re all okay. They have to be okay.”

“Jayc,” Derek put his spoon down and stared at her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

With a shrug, she dropped her gaze and pulled both shoulders up by her ears. “You couldn’t do anything about it anyway. What good would it do?”

“Jaycee.” This time he stood and came to the chair right next to hers. In one breath he was next to her, in the next his arm was around her.

Knowing she shouldn’t but so tired of carrying this on her own, Jaycee turned into him and buried her tears into his shoulder.

“What am I going to do if they aren’t okay, Derek? What if…?”

Anger at her for not telling him mixed with anger at himself for not making more of a point to pin her down on an answer slashed through Derek as his hand cradled the back of her head, holding her to him. “Hey,” he said softly. “We know there were only the two deaths so far, and they were out on the outer banks.” Yes, this is what he called trying to make her feel better, but in his defense, he’d never been taught to handle such a crisis. “Who else do you know? Is there anyone else you can call? An old friend? Other relatives?”

She shook her head and sniffed as she disentangled herself from his embrace and backed away. “I’ve tried everyone I can think of.” Taking a breath, she sat back, wound her lips under her teeth, and closed her eyes. One hand came up and propping her elbow on the table. She put her fist to her head to prop it up. “I don’t know what else to do. I just keep thinking, ‘What if Sage needs me? What if I should go there… somehow?’”

As good as that sounded emotionally, Derek knew physically it was nearly impossible. “What about your brother? Maybe he knows something. Didn’t you say he lives close by?”

“He does, but I don’t want to freak him out. He’d be just crazy enough to try to go there.”

“He doesn’t know the phones are out? You haven’t talked to him?” Somehow Derek couldn’t quite fathom the reluctance. “Jayc, he’s your brother. You should call him.”

“I know. I know. It’s just… Ryder was only like 12 when I left, and I still think of him as a kid.”

“How old is he now?”

“Twenty-three.”

He let that hang in the air between them, letting her hear the age and hoping she would know it meant her brother could handle the call.

When her eyes came up to his, there was pain twined with fear. “What if he doesn’t answer either?”

Derek let out a long, slow breath. “What if he does?”

Jaycee couldn’t answer that question in a way that made any sense, so she pulled the phone from the table and placed the call, ever-aware of Derek right there watching her. Her hands and insides were shaking like an earthquake.

“Hello?”

“Ry…” The name snagged in her throat. “Ryde? Is that you?”

“Yeah. It’s me. Is this…?”

“It’s Jaycee.” She smiled softly, knowing she hadn’t made nearly enough of these calls over the last couple of years.

“Hey, Jayc.” Her brother suddenly sounded shaky. “Did you hear?”

“It would’ve been hard not to. How are you?”

“We’re good. Still have power, just got lots of rain and wind. Have you heard from Mom and Dad?”

Wow it was hard to be the strong big sister. “No, not for a while now. I’ve been trying to call them, but…”

“Yeah, me too. I was hoping it was just me.”

“Sage too?” she asked, hoping just like he was.

“Everybody. I’ve been calling everybody I know, and nothing.”

Jaycee nodded as worry trounced across her heart. “But you haven’t heard anything else? How things are?”

“Pretty messed up from everything I’ve heard, but nothing specific. I know some of the power crews are staying around here. They go in and work like 18 hour shifts and then come back. Must be pretty bad.”

Knowing this point of conversation lead to nowhere she wanted to go, Jaycee chose to steer it in a slightly different direction. “So how are you? Acing everything as usual?”

“Trying to.” Why did he sound so sad? Was it the hurricane or something else?

“I guess you’re glad to be back from summer, huh?” Then she remembered where he would be if he wasn’t back, and his silence said that he remembered as well. “You know, I’m sure they’re okay. They weren’t right on the coast.”

“Yeah.”

Her gaze came up and found Derek right there looking at her. His face was soft, worried, almost sad, and she put her eyes down so she wouldn’t have to deal with keeping him up as well.

“Listen, Jayc. I’ve got a thing due tomorrow in Stats I’d better get to,” Ryder said, and Jaycee nodded.

“Okay. Good luck on that, and let me know if you hear anything.”

“K. You too.” His voice was sounding more and more distant the longer they talked.

For a second Jaycee hesitated, but she knew she needed to tell him because life had suddenly begun to feel very fragile. “I love you, Ryde.”

Silence for a second and then he cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah. Me too.”

Jaycee smiled even more. Her little brother now all grown up and so-over all that mushy stuff. “Take care.”

“You too.”

And they signed off. She took a moment to take a breath before she clicked off the phone, and it was another before either of them moved. The sniff was the only indication of how hard she was fighting. “He hasn’t heard anything.”

Derek shook his head, his eyes still filled with worry. “Give it a couple hours. Maybe they’ll at least get the phone thing figured out.”

Tipping her head, Jaycee let her gaze fall because the hopelessness was just too much to hide.

“Come here.” And once again his arms were around her, and as much as she shouldn’t think that, they felt really, really good.

The feeling of helpless would not leave her alone, and without work to occupy her mind and time, Jaycee was at the mercy of it. She had taken a shower, tried to work a little on the scheduling but quickly gave that up. She just couldn’t think straight, couldn’t keep her mind from wondering and the fear that accompanied it.

At 8:30 that morning, she closed her eyes as she sat at the little desk. “Sage, what am I supposed to do? I’m freaking out here. I need something. Give me something…. Something so I know you’re all right.”

The memory of the little church they had grown up in flashed through her mind, and Jaycee sat back at the vividness of the vision. She opened her eyes and shook her head.

“What was that?” But even as she sat there, the thoughts and memories of that place pushed up from the hard soil of her heart and sprouted there. “Church? Really? Now?”

Apparently the answer was yes.

Knowing she was going to seriously regret this, she pushed away from the desk telling herself just to do it and not think. Maybe God couldn’t help either, but that seemed her only option to do something.

She changed quickly into her jeans and soft beige, cowl-neck sweater and pulled her boots on. No need to be all fancy. She wasn’t planning to go to church, merely make a stop in there in case God might need the reminder that they needed help. Only one small problem presented itself when she went to leave her room. Derek had the keys.

With a heave of a sigh and a twisting of her neck to give herself the pep talk she needed to face this giant, she went over to his room and knocked three times solidly. Clearing her throat which felt like a rock had lodged there, she forced her feet to stay planted. When he didn’t come immediately, she scratched the side of her head and rolled her eyes that she was actually going to do this. Once more she knocked, reasoning that he probably just hadn’t heard her.

Then her rational side kicked into gear. What if he was sleeping or showering? What if…?

At that moment the door snapped open, and her gaze came up to find him glistening from the effects of a shower even as he drew the plaid shirt on over his white T-shirt and jeans. The sight drilled into her, through her, and all the way into the softest places of her heart. Swallowing, she could do nothing but stand there and stare at him like an idiot.

“Jayc?” Derek looked at her with concern and then past her for the fire. “Is…?”

“Um. Hm.” She jerked her rational side up and gave it a solid shake. He was going to think she was losing her mind. “Uh. I was…” Why was it so hard to think with him standing there like that? “I wanted… hm.” When she raked in a breath, it was anything but solid. “Um.” She forced a fake smile up onto her face, looked up at him, willing herself not to see him. “I was wondering if I could have the… keys.”

“The keys?” That seemed to concern him. “Is everything… okay?”

“O… kay? Hm. Yeah.” She snickered and waved her hand at him as if that was imminently funny, which it wasn’t. “Of course. I was just… going to… go… out… for a while.” Out? Did that sound believable? Concerning?

He tipped his head. “Isn’t it a little early for lunch? I mean, we just ate.”

“Lunch.” Why had she done this again? Why? She should have stayed in her room where it was safe and not nearly so humiliating. “Oh, I wasn’t going to lunch. I was going to…” But she couldn’t finish that sentence. He was going to think she was insane, and at the moment, she wasn’t at all sure she would disagree with him.

“To…?” he asked when she didn’t finish the sentence, and then he put his forearm up on the door edge, sweeping the remnants of her sanity away from her grasp.

“Yeah.” She put her hands in her back pockets as she laughed softly and put her head down, shaking it. “Um. There’s… Well, there’s a little church. Not too far from here.” Without daring to look up at him, she glued her gaze to her boots. “I was just thinking I might…”

Church? The very word pushed Derek backward, and his arm fell from the door. However, once again, he realized how very much she was struggling, and he felt badly for not noticing it sooner.

“I just thought…” she continued without ever lifting her gaze to his, “I mean, I know it won’t really help anything or anything.”

Derek’s heart cracked in two like it had been hit with a sledgehammer. The last thing she should have to feel was that she had to justify that part of her personal life to him—or any part of her personal life for that matter. “Yeah. No.” He was no longer sure of the right answer here. “Of course, you can have them. Hang on.”

Striding from the door back into his room, he fought to remember what he had done with them. Black jacket. They were probably in the pocket. He went to the other side of the rumpled bed, hating what it probably told her about him and his evening. In fact, when he had retrieved the keys and straightened to bring them to her, the fight she was waging to stay out of his personal space was clear. She hadn’t even stepped inside his room, and her gaze was still down as she huddled into the confines of her shoulders and waited.

“You know,” he said, putting the keys into the pocket of his jeans rather than giving them to her, “maybe I should just come with you, you know, so you don’t get lost or anything.”

Utter panic ripped through her eyes as she jerked her head up and picked up the edge of her glasses with her fingers. “Oh, you don’t have to. I just… I don’t… You don’t…”

He tossed his jacket onto the bed, and in the next second he was busy working at buttoning up his shirt. Something told him that church wasn’t the place for shirts open to the T-shirt level. “No big deal really. I was just going to sit around and watch some baseball anyway. That won’t start for another couple hours.”

And just like that, Jaycee found herself somehow standing there just outside his room watching him button his shirt. The sigh dragged her eyelids down. How did this stuff keep happening? This was not the plan. “Derek, you really don’t…”

“Just let me get ready right quick.” Going through the room, he disappeared into the bathroom. “It won’t take me like two seconds.”

Land-o-lakes this was embarrassing. She wrapped her arms around herself and tried to figure out the formula for disappearing from the face of the earth. Her gaze went up to the top of the door jamb and held there as heat rose from her toes up into her cheeks. If she could just think of a way to explain that he didn’t have to go with her, that him going would make her self-conscious in the extreme, but how to say that or anything else escaped from her when he came back out and sat on the bed to put his boots on.

“You don’t think they’ll mind I’m not in a three-piece, do you?” he asked, swiping one set of fingers through his hair before digging into the task of putting the boots on.

“Oh. I don’t… I’m not really going to go for the service. Um. I was just going to go… sit… for a while…” Why didn’t someone take pity on her and just shoot her now? This was awful.

“Oh. That’s cool.” He stood then, and somehow he looked taller than he normally did. “Jacket.” Picking it up, he swung it on. “Keys.” He patted his thigh to check for them in his pocket. Then he looked at her. “You need anything else or are you ready?”

Disappearing was sounding better and better. “Uh, yeah. I guess so.”

Down to the car they went with Derek keeping a close eye on her. If she was going to church, he knew this was serious. He wanted to ask if she had been to church on a Sunday since they’d been working together, but he had the feeling she might implode the way it was, so he put his game face on and acted as if none of this was at all out of the ordinary. At the car, he beeped the doors open and went to open hers. He noticed how she studiously kept her gaze on the ground, well away from his.

Just do what she needs, Derek. This is not about you.

In the driver’s seat, he revved the engine and pulled out, getting all the way to the road before he realized he didn’t know where they were going. He looked one way and then the other. “Which…”

She pointed past him to the left before he had the chance to ask the rest. Putting her hand to her forehead, she rubbed there. “It’s back into town and to the right.”

“Got it.” He turned that direction and drove three seconds before looking over at her. “I guess you haven’t heard any more?”

Head down, she shook her head, then cleared her throat and dragged her head up. However, she didn’t look at him, only out the other window.

“God,” he breathed only in his heart, “please show me how to help her.” He’d never felt more helpless in his life.

Chapter 13

How could her timing be so bad? Jaycee closed her eyes to the evidence of her miserable existence as they drove up to a parking lot full of cars. So there were services going. Great. Now what?

As if he hadn’t noticed all the cars, Derek found a spot and parked. It was like he hadn’t realized they shouldn’t go in with other people here. Car off, he looked at her. “Ready?”

All air and breath left her. “Uh. We really don’t have to.”

“What do you mean? You wanted to go to church.” He put his hand out to indicate the building beyond. “We’re at church.”

“Yeah, but… it’s probably already started or almost over or something.”

“So we sit in if it’s started or wait ‘til after it’s over. Come on. We might as well go in. We made it this far.”

Knowing this was hopeless either way, Jaycee forced her body to get her out of the car and meet him at the front of it. When he put his hand on her back, her nerves nearly jumped from her skin. What was he doing? They weren’t together. Not like that. Besides, what would everyone think? Then again, he was probably making sure she didn’t make a break for it, which was more a possibility than even he knew.

At the huge solid wooden doors, Derek opened one and stepped back for her to go first. Polite or simply letting her face the firing squad on the other side, she didn’t at all know.

It was the same little church as before. Small. Maybe even smaller than she remembered with no lights on and all alone. She was right, the service was already started, and the idea of running raced through her mind again just as Derek finished raking his fingers through his hair and then indicating the back chairs, which were just that—chairs. Not the folding kind but not pews either.

Tamping down the overwhelming desire to run, Jaycee slipped over to one chair by the wall and sat down, feeling him follow her into the chair right next to her. A couple people in the back looked their direction, and the words tourists went through their eyes. One lady smiled at her from two chairs down and handed her a large brown book. What she was supposed to do with it, she had no idea.

There was another lady at the front, reading. Jaycee was sure it was from the Bible though she hadn’t heard those words in many years. As she sat there, she began to think about just why that was. Busy. It was the first word that came to her mind, and it clung there like a spider in a sticky web. Not to mention finding a new church every couple of weeks would have been a real challenge, and then there was Derek. Sure he was cool about it today, but that wouldn’t last. She wasn’t even sure why he had chosen to come with her.

Next to her, he sat, his arms folded, looking like he’d rather be taking a bath in battery acid. No. They shouldn’t have come. She shouldn’t have suggested it. This was ridiculous in the extreme. What was church going to do anyway? They were all the way across the country, and…

Everyone stood, and wide-eyed, Jaycee stumbled up to her own feet. Her breath snagged when her senses caught that he had stood as well and was now right beside her. Why did that have to feel like it did? He’s not into you, Jaycee. He’s not. It’s not like that. You know it’s not.

They were reading again. A guy this time. From the front. It was strange how disparate life felt as she stood there. One part of her narrated everything as if helping her understand what she didn’t. The other part of her kept saying she shouldn’t have come, she shouldn’t have dragged him here, what was she doing, why was she standing here, what was he going to think? The thoughts attacked her like ants on leftover bread. Yes. Really. They should just leave. What difference would it make anyway? This was hardly bringing her peace or answers. If anything, it was making her spirit jangle even harder and louder than it ever had. Just get through it, and we’ll go home, and no one will ever have to know.

Without warning, everyone sat again, and she followed them down, feeling one half inch away from completely missing the chair. She grabbed on and held on because all of her felt off in a way it never had before.

“Grace,” the preacher said. “We talk about grace. We sing about grace. We even say grace over our meals. But do we even know what grace is?

“Grace as one man put it is getting what we do not deserve. You see, God looked down at His wayward, sinful children and rather than sending punishment, He chose to send us grace. His grace in the presence and person of Jesus Christ.

“It is important to notice both what grace is and what it is not so that we can open our hearts and allow grace to come into our lives and then flow from our lives. Grace is literally being immersed in God. It is more than just having faith though faith is like the entry point to experiencing grace. Without faith, we stand outside of grace, not really understanding what it is our lives are missing, what we are missing.

“But with faith the size of a mustard seed,” he lifted his fingers with them pushed together, “we step from our ordinary lives into the grace-filled life. That’s where Jesus Himself lived, surrounded by, permeated with the grace of His Father.”

He took a breath and paused one moment. “Most of us think of Jesus as somehow other than ourselves, and in some ways He was. But what He came to teach us was how to live a life full of grace, a life immersed in God and God’s grace just like His was. And what do we see when we look at the life of Jesus? Mostly we see movement. Jesus did not sit still very much unless He was praying by Himself or sleeping in the boat.”

Several people laughed softly.

“Mostly, Jesus was on the move. He was traveling with His disciples from town to town, preaching, healing, helping. That is a picture of God’s grace, on the move, active. Jesus, in fact, is God’s grace personified. God’s grace in person. So to understand grace and how it can change our lives, we need to look at what it did in Jesus’ life. Grace moved Him, it animated Him, it directed Him in what He was supposed to do. You see, Jesus did not sit on His hands, put His nose in the air and judge the world—though He could have. Instead, the grace that was in Him inspired Him to work for the world He knew God’s love could create. He let grace work through Him.

“In a very real way, I am learning that Grace works. Let me say that again, Grace works. Grace doesn’t sit on the sideline and hope and judge. No. Grace is on the field, giving its all every play, making a difference.

“Now don’t fall into the trap so many do and get this backward. You cannot work yourself into grace just like you cannot work your way into Heaven. You cannot earn grace because it is literally ‘unearnable.’ It is, by definition, something you haven’t earned. But… hear me now… when Grace is in your life, you will be inspired to go to work, to love the world the way God does, and God’s love is as active as they come.

“His love is as boundless as the young mother’s love as she rocks her child to sleep, as selfless as the fireman who goes into a burning building to pull back a life he has never before met, as strong as those who risk life and limb in foreign countries to give food, shelter and hope to a dying, desperate world. His love is also selfless. It doesn’t weigh helping based on ‘what’s in it for me.’ His love sees a problem and goes to work to fix the problem—on a root level.

“Look at Jesus as He is confronted by the elders when they have the woman caught in adultery. She is literally thrown at His feet, and they sneer at her even as they challenge Him, ‘What would You do with her?’ Listen to the void of grace in their voices. Listen to the judgment and superiority. But Jesus doesn’t take the bait. He doesn’t lash out at them, nor does He use her to elevate Himself. Instead, with the wisdom of Grace as His scalpel, He both shows compassion to her even as he holds a mirror up to them—cutting to the heart of the matter with one simple statement. ‘Whoever is without sin may cast the first stone.’ That’s grace. It calls sin out for what it is, always holding on with perfect peace to the love God has for all of us.

“Over and over again, right up onto the cross, into the tomb, and emerging at the resurrection, Jesus embodies God’s grace toward us. The grace that forgives and comforts. The grace that is honest about our sin but compassionate with us, not overlooking sin but removing it and its influence over our lives as it loves us into something brand new. In short, grace changes things. More importantly grace changes us.

“Do you think that woman was the same when she rose from the dust of the ground as she was when she was thrown there? No. And in story after story—Nicodemus, Peter, Zacchaeus, Matthew, the woman at the well. They were all changed by their encounter with Grace. How about you? Have you been changed by an encounter with Grace? Is Grace—God’s Grace active and working in your life? Can you point to something and say, ‘God did something really amazing right there in my life—maybe even through me.’ Like the song says, ‘Amazing Grace. How sweet the sound that save a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I’m found, was blind by now I see.’ Grace. It works. It changes things. It changes you … if you let it.”

A pause and he raised his hands. “May we stand?”

Just when it had happened, Jaycee couldn’t tell, but by the time they walked out of the little church, she knew what she was supposed to do, what she had to do. They were in the car, headed to eat before either of them really said anything.

Derek finally swung his gaze over to her. “You’re awful quiet.”

She nodded slowly. “I think I know what I’m supposed to do.”

He shifted an inch. “Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

The thought went through her along with the breath. “I think I need to go to North Carolina.”

A second and he nodded.

“Like tomorrow.”

That jerked his gaze over to her as he turned left back into the little town. Without another word, he pulled into a parking spot in front of The Wild Turkey, which wouldn’t open for at least ten minutes. With no hesitation or question, he put it in park and killed the engine before nodding again and finally turning to her. “Tomorrow, huh?”

“I know,” she said, suddenly knowing how completely she would be letting him down, “I shouldn’t with everything…”

But before she could talk herself out of it, he nodded. “I think you’re right.”

That slammed her to a stop. “I… I am?”

“Yeah. You need to be there for them, to help.”

“And that’s okay?”

“Yeah. I think you need to.”

“You won’t fire me or anything?”

He laughed. “Brent wouldn’t let me fire you if I tried. You’re the only reason he doesn’t freak out over me more often.”

Now she was going backward from the idea. He was supposed to protest, to get upset, to tell her it was a terrible idea. When he didn’t, she felt obligated to. “But… the show…?”

With a gentle smile, Derek reached across the seat and slid his hand under hers as surprise danced up and down the aisles of her heart. “You’re more important than the show. This is more important. You need to take care of your family. The show will still be here when you get back.”

“But I don’t know how long…”

“It’s okay. Take as long as you need.”

The weirdest part was how completely at peace Derek was with telling her that even though he should be completely freaking out. As they got out and went in to eat, he knew she was right. She needed to go, and he needed to let her. How he would do that, he had no clue.

Entering the establishment, he only had one, small breath of a prayer. If grace changed things, and it seemed evident at that moment that it did, was that change always for the best? Because the truth was, he felt like letting her go was the biggest risk he had ever taken.

They sat at an empty table, and he perused the menu without really seeing it. In 24 hours, she would not be sitting here with him, and for the first time in a year, he realized that was actually a real possibility—her not being right here. Normal. He’d come to think of all of this as so normal that he never really even thought about it not being the way things would be forever. She was Jaycee. He knew her quirks inside and out. And she knew him. What if she left and never came back?

That thought nearly sent his mouth into saying the things that were screaming through his heart, like ‘Don’t leave me.’ ‘I need you.’ ‘I can’t live without you.’ But he knew all of those were stupid. For one thing, she didn’t feel that way about him. For another, he shouldn’t feel them about her.

“So steak?” she asked from the other side of her menu.

He dragged the breath in hard but silently. No way would he let her know the insanity that had taken up residence in his head and heart at the mere thought of her leaving. “Sounds good.”

“Really. I could,” Derek said the next morning as they sat at the breakfast table, her cell phone lying between them. “It couldn’t take more than, what? A couple of hours?”

“Be serious,” she said, swiping across the thing, her gaze only on it as she ate her banana as if she never saw the thing. “Alex said Manny can take me. You need to be there for the countertops.”

That she wasn’t looking at him was about to drive him right up the wall. “But how do you even know Manny knows where he’s going? I mean, what if you get lost?”

Jaycee skewered him with one disbelieving look and went back to the cell phone. “It’s three turns. How lost can we get?”

If it was anywhere close to as lost as he felt, Derek didn’t even want to know.

An hour later, he followed her out to Manny’s truck, which did nothing to calm his nerves. The thing was five different shades of orange and had a ‘I Don’t Brake for Anyone’ bumper sticker on the back.

“Are you… sure about this?” Derek asked, eyeing the truck because looking at her was getting more dangerous to his heart every time he made that mistake.

“Derek,” she said like a frustrated teacher, “I’ll be fine. Manny will take me there. I’ll get on the plane. I’ll fly into Norfolk, rent a car, and drive down to Mom and Dad’s. It’s not more than about a four-hour drive, and I’ve done it before lots of times.”

Not through a hurricane, he wanted to scream at her, but he yanked that back. She was being strong, so he needed to be as well. “But you won’t be able to call.”

“I’ll call when I leave the airport, and hopefully, they’ll get something going soon.”

Soon. It had never, ever felt so far away. Finally, knowing he had no other choice, he nodded. “Okay. Well,” and then his body did what his mind and heart would never have let him do had he asked. It just took him right to her and wrapped around her, dragging her closer and then closer still. His eyes closed on the feeling and gripped there. “You take care of yourself.”

She nodded into his chest. “I will. You too.”

Neither one moved, even a centimeter, and Derek wished upon wish that he hadn’t wasted so much time with her. Why did his spirit keep sounding the alarm that this might be the last time he ever saw her? What would this fork in the road mean for her life? Would she move back home, find her high school sweetheart and decide this life wasn’t what she wanted after all?

Okay. He was being stupid, he knew it, and yet…

“Miss,” Manny said from inside the truck.

She sniffed and nodded, still plastered next to him. Then with a hard breath, she ran her hand up and down his back once more, ducked and backed up and out of his embrace.

Letting her go nearly split him in two, and it was all he could do to put his hands on his beltline and keep them there.

“Travel carefully,” he said, his voice raspy and uneven.

“Good luck with those countertops.” Head down, she stepped over to the door which he stepped to and wrenched open one second before she got to it. “And that radio thing. Kill it okay? I know you will.” With a small bounce she got up into the truck and onto the seat.

“You got everything?” Derek asked, holding the door open, hoping they couldn’t leave if he just didn’t shut the thing.

“Yeah.” Without looking at him, she pulled the seatbelt across her and clicked it secure. “It’s all in the back.”

Then she was settled, and he was anything but. Quickly as if he might be caught and arrested for it, he ducked into the space of the pickup and hugged her once more. “Take care, okay?”

Her hug tightened on him one moment, and she nodded. “You too.”

He would never, ever be able to do this if he didn’t just do it, so he yanked himself up, going all the way out and shutting her door in one motion. Thankfully the window was down, and he held onto that door, feeling like he might pass out if he didn’t. “Call me.”

She smiled, kind of, and nodded. “I will. You’d better get on to work.”

“K.”

Then she looked not at him but at Manny. “We’d better get, or we’re going to be late.”

And with that, Derek took a single step back and watched life as he had come to know it drive away from him.

They had gotten no more than a half-mile down the road before Jaycee couldn’t swallow and breathe the stupid tears down anymore. She sniffed, very softly, but clearly not softly enough because Manny looked over at her.

“I hope your family is okay,” he said.

Her smile was soft, grateful for the effort. “Me too.”

If it could go wrong, it did. The countertops showed up and two of them had been cut completely wrong. A call to the business they were working with finally uncovered that they had cut the wrong job into those tops. Derek had hardly made sense of that mess when Alex showed up.

“More bad news, boss.”

He exhaled hard. “What now?”

“We’re at least two boxes short on the flooring.”

“What? How’s that possible?”

Alex shrugged. “I guess somebody measured it wrong.”

The two of them went out to the garage, and Derek did several quick calculations in his head and then three more on the top of the box. Sure enough. “How soon can we get two more boxes here?”

“We can special order it, but it’ll be at least Wednesday if they have them in stock.”

This exhale was more like a growl. “I guess get them ordered. We’ll get this down and finish it on Wednesday.”

“Okay, boss.”

Cliff came out of the house into the garage, and Derek’s whole system strained to keep from careening into overload. “Did they send you the scripts for the promos for tomorrow? Devon said you should have them.”

Putting his hand over his head and closing his eyes, Derek willed himself to stay calm. “Jaycee didn’t send them to you?”

“If she did, I never got them.”

A moment and he nodded. “K. I’ll call her. Maybe she’s on her layover in Dallas.” He yanked out his cell phone, having never let the sounds of the construction site get to him before. Today, they were grating his last nerve.

As she sprinted the last ten yards to the gate, Jaycee felt her phone buzz to life. With the practice of a millions times, she pulled it out as she attached herself to the back of one line that would be boarding any minute. “Hello?”

“Jayc?”

“Yeah.”

Derek let out a breath, and she knew who it was.

“Derek, are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Yeah. Listen. I’m sorry to throw this at you, but Cliff just said he doesn’t have the scripts for tomorrow. Did you get them?”

“Oh, crud.” She put her head back, already exhausted. “I did. I’ve got them. I’ll send them to Cliff.”

“Now?”

“Yes. Right now. Sorry about that.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

The pause was awkward and filled with things he wasn’t saying. She could tell. She’d let him down, already, and she hadn’t even been gone three hours.

“I’ll get it sent,” she said, “but listen, I’ve got to go. I’m about to get on the plane.”

“Yeah. Okay.” But still he didn’t sign off and hang up.

“Derek?” She struggled to get her purse strap to behave. “Is everything okay?”

“What? Yeah. Yeah. We’re… we’re fine. Don’t worry about us.”

“Okay. Good. I’ll send this. I’m sorry I forgot.”

“K. I guess… I guess I’ll talk to you later? When you get to Norfolk?”

The line started moving meaning she was running out of time. “Yeah. I’ll call you.”

“K. I’ll talk to you then.”

“K. Bye.”

“Bye.” Derek hardly had the energy to hang up. If this was what it was like to live without her, he never wanted to again.

Jaycee got the information sent to Cliff before they lifted off, destination Norfolk, Virginia, a mere four hours from home. Seated by the window, she let her gaze go out it, wondering if she would be able to see any of the hurricane effects when they got closer. Part of her hoped she would; a bigger part never wanted to see any of it.

Closing her eyes, she settled back in the seat and said another prayer for them and for herself. Getting there was the first obstacle, what she would find once she arrived was the second. She breathed down all the scenarios—thinking once again that the death toll had been light, only ten deaths and all on the coast. At least that’s what they were reporting.

She wished she could check her phone again, being without it in the air always made her feel cut off from life, and today, she didn’t like that feeling. Her thoughts tipped and shifted to Derek and the crew. It was a terrible time to leave him, them. With the radio thing coming up and all of the promos. Her spirit felt like it was being slowly ripped in half the farther east they flew. And once they were down, on the ground, how long would she even be able to contact him? Cut off.

Every part of her hated that feeling, and yet there wasn’t a single thing she could do to make it any better.

A large part of the problem of Derek’s day was that only half of him, at best, was at the job site. The rest of him was tracking her progress across the country. She had said she would get into Norfolk around eleven. She had also said her plan was to get a room, stay the night and make the four-hour drive the next morning. His mind kept going over and over the plan as if searching for either a better way or for some flaw in it.

Of course she had booked a room before she left, a Sleep-Something Inn that was marketed for their “clean showers.” They both knew what that meant, but rooms were few and far between in Norfolk, owing either to the hurricane or some unknown they could neither grasp nor control. Worry crept over him as it had all day. He should have gone with her. What would the roads even be like? Were they still flooded? Would they be passable? Could she even get to Ridgemount?

He had nearly no experience with hurricanes. Snow storms? Yes. Hurricanes? No. At 5:30 when the rest of the crew left, he pulled out his cell phone, hoping to have a message from her, but there was nothing.

“Heard from Jaycee yet?” Alex asked, seeing Derek sitting there staring at his phone, the destruction and reconstruction strewn around him.

“Earlier, but it’s been hours.”

Alex shook his head. “Must be tough. I had some relatives in a tornado one time in Missouri. Longest five hours of my life before we made contact again.”

His heart hurting, Derek nodded. He now knew that feeling very well.

“So what do we have for tomorrow?” Alex asked, looking around at the dozen or so half-finished projects.

With a long sigh, Derek got himself moving again. How he would ever stay sane enough to finish this job, he had no idea.

She should have been used to airports and car rentals and GPS’s, but this all felt very unfamiliar. Three times Jaycee had checked beside her as she waited in the lines for her luggage and the car, fully expecting to see him chatting up some stewardess who was on a layover. But he wasn’t there, and her heart fell every time. Dragging up her purse strap at the ridiculousness of her life, she approached the car rental counter and had to gather her scattering nerves.

“Yes. I rented a car.”

In no time Jaycee was navigating the streets of Norfolk in search of the Quality Sleep Inn. It hadn’t looked great on the ‘net, and it looked even less great when she got there. Dimly lit with only one floor, she had to regather her nerves. She blew out a hard breath, drove up to the small door marked “Office” and shook her head. “Okay, Lawrence, this is it. Don’t lose it now.”

She retrieved her purse from the other seat, got out, making sure to lock the car doors before striding up to the office. Unfortunately the door opened. Closing her eyes to keep herself moving, she went to the counter and rang the little bell. When nothing moved, she rang it again.

A burly man the size of a small car emerged from the back, covered in tattoos and reeking of cigar smoke that was emanating from the stogie dangling from his mouth. “Help you?”

Jaycee slid her hand up the edge of her purse strap. “I have a reservation for Lawrence.”

He eyed her as if he didn’t believe her and then checked the dilapidated computer in the corner. “Well, I’ll be. Right here it is. Lawrence.” He retrieved an actual key from the wall and brought it over to her. “You from out of town?”

“Kind of. Going home to help my family in Ridgemont.”

That got his attention. “NC?”

“Yes.”

Pushing a paper for her to sign across the counter, he nodded. “Got hit pretty good down there. I got a sister that lives in Atkinson. They’re going to be digging out for months.

“That’s what I hear.” She pushed the paper back across. “So, have you heard… from your sister?”

“Couple times. Sounds like they’re finally getting the roads passable, but that’s about it. You’ll be in 152. Just out the door and down to the left here.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

He eyed her once more. “Tell you what. If you have any trouble, here’s my cell number. Not that you will, but just in case.”

Well, that made her feel all safe and secure. She accepted the scrap of paper with hands that were trying not to shake.

“Have a good evening.”

“You too,” she said, not at all wanting to go out that door. Even the lumpy, bumpy couch in what was supposed to be the lobby of the office looked better than going out there. She headed for the door.

“Oh, and Miss?”

“Yes?” She turned.

“I wouldn’t leave anything in my car if I was you. Nice things have a way of disappearing around here.”

Letting her chin go lower in a vain attempt to nod, she grimaced. “Good to know.”

Back and forth. Back and forth Derek paced in his room. She had said she would call. She would call. He couldn’t be a pest and keep calling her. Then again, she should have been there by now. Surely she didn’t decide to drive straight there. She wouldn’t do that. Would she?

Then again, this was Jaycee Lawrence they were talking about. The idea that she was in a car, in the dark, headed into an emergency zone freaked the last part of his nerves out, and he grabbed up the phone just as it rang in his hand. With a sigh of how ridiculous he was being, he beeped it on. “So you’ve landed then?”

“Yeah. I’m here.”

That should have set his heart back on solid ground. It didn’t. “What’s wrong?”

“Well, I really don’t think I’ll be getting any ‘Quality Sleep’ tonight.”

“It’s bad?”

“Bad? Oh, bad would be a palace compared with this place. And that whole ‘clean shower’ thing? Yeah. Not so much. Eek!”

“What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Uh, I don’t know, something must’ve fallen somewhere.”

“In the room?” The rate of his pacing increased.

“No outside somewhere.” She laughed softly. “I guess I could call Lou and ask him what that was.”

“Lou?”

“My new boyfriend from the front desk. He said if I had any trouble, I could call his cell.”

If he could have gone right through the phone, Derek would have. “You’re not going to call him, are you?”

She laughed again, but this time he heard the fear just underneath it. “What do you think I am, stupid?”

“I don’t like this.”

“Well, I’m not throwing any parties over here either.”

“Are you sure you’re going to be all right?”

Her side went silent for a moment. “I’ll be fine. I always am.”

Derek swallowed every panicked thing he wanted to scream at her. She was already freaked out. He didn’t want to make it worse. He thought through and back through all the things he had wanted to say to her since she’d gotten in that pickup, but not a one of them was at all sensible.

“Well,” she finally said, “I’d better try to get some sleep. Not that it will do me much good.”

“Jayc…”

“I know. I’ll be careful.”

That was only one of the things he wanted to say. “Call me, in the morning. Okay?”

“K. I will. ‘Night.”

His heart hitched and held. “Night.”

When he beeped off the phone, he held it long after she was gone. If this is what helpless felt like, then helpless felt absolutely horrible.

Jaycee beeped the phone off as she sat in the little chair on the opposite side of the room from the window. Stray bullets had never been something she thought she would have to worry about. Tonight, that was a real consideration.

Looking around the dull, dingy brown room, she wondered when the last time it had been cleaned was. 1952 came to mind. Her eye traced over the bed, and in one heartbeat, she knew she was not sleeping there. So taking her things over into the corner behind the chair, she lay down on the floor, curled up, and made sure to set the alarm on her phone for 5:30. She wasn’t going to spend one more minute here than was absolutely necessary.

Derek got no sleep. Every time he drifted off, his mind either snagged on her in that hotel room, or his spirit snagged on the fact that she wasn’t next door. He rationalized with himself that he was being completely irrational. She was not a child. She was a very capable, strong woman. Jaycee could take care of herself.

So why did his spirit jangle through him when he thought about her not being right here? Why did his thoughts keep going to her and sticking? At two-thirty in the morning, he gave up the fight and turned on the television. The weather channel was still having hourly updates though it was no longer wall-to-wall coverage. Aerials of the damage, shots of the toppled stilt houses along the beachfront, marinas full of twisted and mangled boats. He wasn’t at all sure this was helping.

She would call when she got up. She had said she would, and she would. He pulled out his cell phone and fell asleep against the pillows, propped up, holding the thing in his hands lest he do the unthinkable and miss her call.

The alarm went off at 5:30, and about as fast as she could get up, Jaycee was out the door, in her car, and driving away. It was barely 5:40. No, she hadn’t done her make-up or her hair, but maybe when she stopped at the truck stop for breakfast on the way out of town, she could swing through the bathroom and try to make herself presentable. The very fact that she had survived the night was a miracle.

Yawning, she shook her head to get it to click on to reality as she drove through the quiet streets. I-55 was her best bet, but she had to get something to eat first. Just off the Interstate, she found P&J’s TruckStop and Rest Area. “Good enough.”

What woke him up, the sound of the phone or the jerk of his spirit, Derek didn’t know, but one second he was asleep, the next he had the phone to his ear. “Jayc?”

“Yeah.”

That jerked him upward even harder. “Are you all right? Did something happen?”

The laugh did nothing to assuage his concern. “I’m fine. The good news is, I made it out alive. The bad news is, I’m not sure I look like it. Diane in make-up would have a heart attack. Oh. Sorry. I forgot about the time difference. I should’ve waited….”

“No. Uh. No. I’m fine. I was… up anyway.”

“Hot date?” she asked with a hint of mirth.

“Hot…?” He couldn’t even believe she had asked that. “No.”

“Sorry. None of my business. Must be the fear of getting shot thing.”

“Shot?” He felt like he had just been shot. “Wh…?”

“No. I’m teasing. I’m fine. I’m at the truck stop, waiting for my pancakes.” She sighed.

“Pancakes? What happened to the banana?”

“I’m living dangerously.”

He could tell, and he didn’t like it very much.

“Listen,” she said before he could get anything out, “that radio thing today, it’s live, so I was thinking, you might want to go out back to that shed thing they have to make the call. It would be quiet out there, and no wind or anything to mess up the audio.”

Radio? She was living a nightmare, and she was worried about the radio thing?

“I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah. I’m sure you will.” This sigh was long and filled with exhaustion. “Well, my pancakes are here, so I guess I’ll let you go. If you need anything, call Katie or Elle. I’ll call as soon as we have some service.”

Where were the words? They had suddenly evacuated from his brain.

“Derek?” she asked as if worried about him though just why that was, he couldn’t rightly tell.

He swallowed. “Yeah?”

“I’ll call you.”

“O… okay. I’ll… I’ll talk to you soon then.”

“K. Good luck with everything.”

“Yeah, you too.”

“Bye.”

And he waited for her to hang up. “Bye, Jayc.”

The pancakes were amazing. The best she’d ever tasted in her life, and after doing the minimal amount of work on her appearance, Jaycee walked back out to the little rental car at 6:30 East Coast time. Jet lag. That had to be why she was so tired.

But little things like jet lag and a bad hair day were going to have to take a seat farther back on the perspective bus because she had more important things to worry about. She started the car, backed out and headed for the Interstate. “Ready or not, here we go.”

Chapter 14

For the first three hours, the terrain and drive were nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, Jaycee had almost gotten to the point of talking herself into the notion that this wouldn’t be so bad. It was only when she had turned onto I-40 and headed south that things began to get dicey. The trees suddenly were without leaves and evidence of wind damage to the houses became noticeable.

Some of the houses were still boarded up. Many had stacks of tree limbs and debris in the yards. She shook her head back and steeled her nerves. She was only an hour away. How much worse could it get?

The promos were a pain as they always were. Derek hated acting. Being filmed while he was working or even talking to the homeowners, that was easy. Promos were not his cup of tea. This would have been about the time that Jaycee would have shown up to go through the scripts. He would have made jokes to throw her off, and she would have told him to be serious. Today, he was as serious as he had ever been. Sullen might have been a better word for it.

While Diana worked on his hair and make-up, he sat swiping through his phone, wishing he could call Jaycee, knowing he couldn’t or shouldn’t or something like that. He was beginning to be less and less sure where the bright boundary lines that were once so clear actually were.

“Is Jaycee sick or something?” Diana asked as he continued with the phone.

“Oh. Uh. No. She had a family thing back home.”

“Oh.” The sound was filled with surprise. “I didn’t even know she had a family.”

“Yeah. She does.” He sounded distracted because he so was. How was he ever going to get through today without her there chopping down the forest in front of him?

Tears burned her eyes the farther Jaycee drove, and she put her hand up to her mouth to keep them from falling. Little towns she had grown up knowing by heart. They looked like a bomb had gone off. Trees ripped right out of the ground and toppled, power lines wrapped with debris, whole houses sitting off-kilter as if they had gotten tired of standing and decided to rest. Her heart prayed harder and harder the farther she went into the destruction.

It was when she got off the Interstate that she realized getting home might not be as easy as she had thought it would be. Across one road, the main one that would take her through Greely to Ridgemount, sat a police car with orange cones flanking it.

Jaycee pulled up to the cones and stopped as a large police officer swaggered toward her car.

“Morning, M’am.” He tipped his hat to her.

“Morning, Officer.” She looked up at the obstacles and fought to stay logical. “Is this road closed?”

“We’re only letting certain folks into the area. Workers, electric people, that kind of thing.”

In one heartbeat after the harrowing adventure of the trip, crying became a real possibility. “I’m… I’m from Ridgemount. At least I was. That’s where I grew up. I was coming home to help my family. My sister and my parents.” She heard the hysteria creeping into her voice, and she fought not to let it take over. “Is there any way, around or a different route I could take to get in there? I’ve been trying to call them for three days, but the phones are out, and…”

Compassion slowly drained down his face. “Well, Ma’m.” He stopped, looked up the road to her hometown only a few miles away. “I guess it won’t hurt nothing to let you on through, but you be careful. You hear me?”

“Oh, yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir. I will, Sir.”

“You can win a 20,000 dollar home make-over in the Home & Hearth Channel’s….” Derek’s brain slipped a gear, and he stopped. “I’m sorry, what’s it called again?”

Cliff shook his head. “Cut.”

Careful was an understatement. The last twenty miles took her over an hour and a half. She wasn’t sure if it was the sheer mesmerizing quality of the destruction or the complete disintegration of normal. Whatever it was, it wouldn’t let her drive more than ten miles an hour, if that. Slowly. Slowly, she crept along, watching for the road crews and the electric crews and the huge trucks that were jamming what used to be the road.

Parts of it were still visible. Other parts were all-but covered with water and debris.

She picked her way around those parts and tried not to lodge the images too deeply into her brain. Still, they clung to her heart just the same. What would she find in Ridgemount? Would anything be left?

“I think we’ve got them all,” Cliff finally declared to the relief of everyone. Construction had been put on hold while the promos were being filmed. That meant the whole crew was out on the lawn having an extended lunch.

Derek’s stomach registered hunger as well, but he didn’t have time. With only an hour before the radio uplink, they were going to get nothing done at all today if they sat around any longer. He stepped out onto the porch, hating the bright sunshine because it felt so good when he felt so unbelievably awful. “Let’s get back to work!”

One thing became abundantly clear, Jaycee was no way going to be able to chance the dirt roads that led to her parents’ house or to Sage’s. She was hardly an expert on them the way it was, and this car was not designed for them. So instead, she turned from the main road into the town of Ridgemount and drove carefully around the debris still littering the roadway.

Stacks and stacks of broken trees and branches, random fragments of wood, fencing, pieces of plywood and glass. They were everywhere.

The church. That would be her best bet. She wondered if Pastor Steve and his wife Jane were even still in town. Sage hadn’t said they had left, but Jaycee hadn’t thought to ask either.

Not looking at the houses became harder and harder. There wasn’t a single one that hadn’t been damaged. A trailer house on the right side was toppled over and wrapped up next to the brick building that had once been 50 yards from it. Nearly every tree was down or damaged. She closed her eyes, hoping the church and community center would be intact when she got there.

“We just love the work you do on your show,” the radio-host, Lane McCauly said. “I love the idea of reinventing spaces, making them come alive again. So how did you get started in this business, Derek?”

Jaycee crawled out of the car, her gaze fused to the structure she had spent so many hours in. The community center. It had never been much, just a large space for people to gather, eat, and fellowship. She remembered Sage saying they had housed people here right after the storm, and her heart jerked at the thought. The roof though still technically connected had clearly sustained major damage. Whole sections of the structure were devoid of siding and with the windows still boarded, it looked very much like an old, abandoned structure marked for demolition. Worse, one corner of it had a tarp blowing up in the wind. Heavy damage. The words from the reports she had heard slipped into her understanding of just what they meant. “Wow.”

The hurricane winds had clearly come from the southeast as the southeast corner of every building looked like it had been beaten into submission. She wondered as she stood there, what it had been like as the hurricane roared through. She could almost feel, almost hear it, sense the power it wielded over the temporary buildings that had once felt so solid and permanent to her.

“Miss?” A man in a pickup truck drove up behind her as she continued to stare at the building, at life as it now was even as she remembered how it used to be. Down the street was the church and the pastor’s house. They too were standing, but the damage was clear on them as well even from this distance.

“Uh, yeah.” She turned to address the man though it was difficult because her attention was so locked on the building and the hours it was going to take to repair it. Somehow, until that moment, her time frame for helping had been measured in weeks. This was not weeks.

“Miss, you can’t be up in here. Are you a reporter? They have a press room set up for you folks over in the volunteer fire station.”

“Oh. No. I’m not a reporter.” She wound her arms up at her chest because the emotion was becoming overwhelming to hold in. “Actually.” Stepping over and around the debris in the parking lot, she went over to the pickup. “Hi. I’m Jaycee. Jaycee Lawrence. Gregory and Emily’s…”

“Jaycee Lawrence? No way! Is that… Are you? Wow! It really is!” And the guy jumped out of the pickup so fast, she hardly had time to react. “Wow. I don’t believe it. They said you moved out to L.A. and are in the movies or something.”

She laughed. “Well, not quite the movies.”

“Oh.” He stuck out his hand. “Trey. Fenton. But you probably don’t even remember me.”

Strange how time had put pounds on him, but the second he said his name, she could see how much he looked like his father and even something like she remembered him from high school. He was a sophomore when she was a senior. That seemed like a different lifetime now. “Oh. Wow. Trey.” She shook his hand and then picked hers up to shield it from the sun. “How’re things?”

He tipped his head. “Well, to tell the truth, they’ve been better. You been over to see Sage yet?”

Jaycee let out a breath. “Uh. No. Not yet.” She turned to look at her car, which looked really out of place amongst the effects of the storm. “I just got into town. I was kind of trying to figure out the best way to get out there. I’m guessing the roads are pretty bad.”

“You can say that again. If you don’t have a four-wheel drive, you ain’t getting down any of them.” His face fell into a scowl. “You know, I’ll bet Luke’s over at the station. They just came in from clearing the road through to Atkinson. It was a terrible mess.”

Her heart jerked hard at the mention of her best friend’s name.

He hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “You wanna go? I can take you. We can leave your car here. It should be plenty safe ‘til we can locate Luke.”

“Oh. Okay. Um. Just let me lock it up and grab a few things.”

“Absolutely. Jaycee Lawrence. I can’t believe it.”

“They’ve got a massive remodeling project going on out here in North Carolina,” Lane said. “Gabriel pretty much took care of the demo though.”

“Yeah.” Derek nodded, his heart slip-sliding on the thought. “I’ve been watching. Hard to believe what nature can do in a few short hours.”

“You got that right. It’s really too bad we don’t have a hundred crews like yours to just send out here right now.” Lane laughed. “They sure could use the help putting the place back together.”

Derek tipped his head as a thought raced through it. “You know, Lane. That’s actually not a half-bad idea.”

“What do you mean?”

“Helping out.” What had the preacher said about grace getting to work? Derek had never considered himself a church kind of guy, but he couldn’t argue that the sermon hadn’t touched him in a way he hadn’t expected it to. “I’m sure they have lots of projects that would be perfect.”

“Well, I’m sure they would love the help.”

“Look who I found lurking over by the community center,” Trey said as Jaycee followed him into the empty space that was normally filled with fire trucks. She wondered where they were but didn’t have time to finish that thought when Trey stepped out of the way to let the five men sitting at the little picnic table see his discovery.

Jaycee’s gaze slipped around the table, snagged and held one of the gazes at the far end. Amazing how little he had changed over the years.

“Well, Jaycee Lawrence,” one of the guys said, “as I live and breathe! What are you doing here?”

And with that, all five of them stood and circled around her.

“Wow. You are a sight for sore eyes,” the one she recognized as Wayne Lathem said as he put his hands on her arms and then pulled her into a monster hug. It was so weird because when she had left, they were boys. Now, they were all grown men.

One by one, they either shook her hand or gave her a hug, chattering up a storm as they did so. Then, just like that, they parted and a hush fell over the room. Jaycee ducked and then lifted her gaze to the guy who had been her best friend most of her life.

“Jayc.” Luke took three steps forward and folded her into his arms.

She should have said something, but nothing was coming. Relief. Or memories. Or guilt. Something made it so that the only thing that came up with the breath was tears.

He stepped back, searching her eyes for answers. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

Her smile tried, but the tears took over first. “Here I am.”

“I’m telling you, Brent, it would be perfect,” Derek said into his cell phone not five minutes after the radio interview had wrapped. “We can take both crews out there. Jaycee knows people. We could pick a few projects, help them out. Of course, we’d film it. Do a special or two on it. It would be great.”

Brent exhaled. “We’ve already got Elle up in Buffalo.”

“So we push that back a month or two.” Derek was not about to let this idea get waylaid. “Come on, Brent. I really want to do this, and I know, a man like you, you can make it happen if you want to.”

His boss exhaled again. “Let me make a few phone calls, and I’ll get back to you.”

“I can’t believe you’re really here,” Luke said, his gaze going back to her from his side of the truck as they headed out of town after picking up her suitcase from the car. “Sage is going to flip-out.”

“Well, what was I going to do? Sit in Nevada not knowing if you guys were okay? I don’t think so. You know me better than that.”

He glanced at her and shook his head. “So how was the drive?”

That knifed in to her. “Bad.” She wanted to say it, to scream at him for not being smarter than to get her family out. “How’s your place and Mom and Dad’s?”

“We were pretty good ‘cause we’re on higher ground. Your folks and my folks got a little more of the water damage. But a lot of people weren’t nearly so lucky. We’ve been focused on clearing the roads first and under the power lines for the electric guys, but at some point we’re going to have to start clearing the trees by the houses. Some of the houses, especially in town got really ripped up by the trees. We won’t probably know how much until we get them cleared.”

“They didn’t board them up?”

“Most did. A few didn’t.”

Jaycee nodded, taking that in as they turned onto the once-dirt road. It was a sea of water and mud. “Whoa. Glad I didn’t try this in the car.”

“Ha.” He laughed softly. “You and me both. I’d have been digging you out of the ditch. This here four-wheel has come in handy more times than not. Sage keeps saying we should move to town. I don’t know that I want to do that, but sometimes, I think she’s got a point.”

The house came into view half mile away, and even from here, Jaycee could see the battered southeast edge of it. Fallen and broken limbs littered the yard. And her sister and nieces and nephews had weathered the entire storm in that thing. She glanced over at Luke who was looking only straight ahead, which was probably safer for the driving but made her heart hurt just the same. It was like he was purposely keeping his distance.

“We haven’t gotten the boards off yet. I need to do that,” he said as if in apology. “So much work to do everywhere. It’s just hard to get to it all.”

“It’ll take time,” Jaycee said as her heart rose in her chest, filling all of her so she could hardly breathe.

He shook his head. “Sage is going to go into shock that you’re here. You know that, right?”

Jaycee wasn’t too far away from shock herself.

“I know,” Derek said to Alex as they stood, having an impromptu meeting on the current state of the house. “But we’re really not that far out, are we? What do we have left? The floors, the tops, paint, trim, getting the furniture back in. A couple of days.”

“Days? I thought we had a week and a half left on this thing.”

Derek put his hand up on the back of his head. “Well, we did, but something came up, and I’d really like to get this wrapped up as quick as we can. What do you say? Friday?”

Alex shook his head, never lifting his gaze. “That’s going to take a miracle.”

“Okay. Then we get to work on a miracle.”

“Daddy!” Three kids came racing from various parts of the house lit only by half a dozen fake-flamed candles and one glowing flashlight when they came in the back door. Two of them made it all the way to him, one all the way into his arms. The other one got only to the cabinets and stopped short when he saw Jaycee.

The little girl, Livvie threw her arms around her daddy’s neck and hugged him to her, burying his face into her golden curls.

“Ugh. I’ve missed you.” He kissed her soundly and hugged the boy at his waist. “How’s Jeremiah?”

“Good.” However, Jeremiah’s gaze was now glued to Jaycee as was Andrew’s who hadn’t moved an inch from that cabinet.

“Well, everyone, I’d like for you to meet…” Luke turned to her just as Sage stepped in the door on the other side of the room, and with one look, she stopped cold.

Jaycee’s gaze caught her sister’s movement and jumped there. She half-smiled as tears ripped into her eyes. A look of utter shock etched on her sister’s lovely face.

“Jaycee?” Sage looked like she’d just been hit by a stun gun. “Wh…? Are you…?” And with no more than that, she tossed the towels in her hand to the table and headed to her sister as Jaycee went to her.

They met in the middle of the kitchen and collapsed into each other’s arms.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Sage squealed. “What are you doing here? I thought you were in Nevada!”

“Well, I couldn’t not come and make sure my favorite people in the world weren’t all right, now, could I?”

“I’m so sorry. The phones went out, and I haven’t even left the house.”

Jaycee backed up to look at her sister, so unbelievably thankful to see her alive. “No. It’s okay. I wanted to come. I wanted to see you all with my own two eyes.” She couldn’t take the five inches of separation a second longer, and she pulled her sister back to her. “I’m so glad I did. I was so worried about you.”

“Have you…? Have you been to Mom and Dad’s yet?”

“No. We came straight here. Oh, my gosh. I’ve been trying to get here since yesterday morning. I slept in Norfolk last night, and today, you wouldn’t believe how it looks out there.”

“Come in. Come in. Sit down.”

Together they went to the couch where the three kids joined them. Luke stood in the doorway, his arms crossed, watching and assessing. When there was a breath of a break in the conversation, he cleared his throat.

“I’m going to go back…” He hooked his thumb over his shoulder.

“You’re not…?” Sage stood and went to him, not going all the way into his arms. “You’re not staying?”

“I can’t, darlin’. We barely got the roads passable today. We need to get the trees cleared so the electric people can do their thing. Everybody’s about stretched to the limit to get the power back up and going.”

“But Jaycee just got here.”

“Jaycee will be fine with y’all.” He looked around his wife to Jaycee. “I’ll swing by your folks’ house and let them know you’re here and safe and all of that.”

“Yeah. Okay.” She nodded, feeling the tension but not having a name for it.

“I’ll see y’all later.” He kissed Sage and hugged her to him then, and it was clear how she could still melt into his arms. One more hug for each child and he headed out.

A second of watching him leave, and then Sage put her brave face on, turned and came back to the couch.

Worry enveloped Jaycee. “He’s been gone a lot, huh?”

Sage nodded, her gaze down on her hands. “Mostly since the storm was coming. He’s on the fire department, you know.”

“I know.” Gently, Jaycee let her hand down so it rested on her sister’s shoulder. “This won’t be for forever, you know.”

Sage nodded again. “I know.” Then she smiled for real and her gaze came up. “I just can’t believe you’re here, that you came.”

“Are you kidding me?” Jaycee pulled her head back in mock disbelief. “Where else could possibly be more important than here?”

“Yeah. I think we can be done with this one by Friday,” Derek said as he sat devouring the sandwich he had procured from The Wild Turkey fifteen minutes before. He was back on the jobsite installing the last of the flooring that they had, or he would be as soon as his five-minute food break ended. “Yeah, Alex and his crew are going to make it happen here. Can you get out there? You and Elle?”

“You want me to go into the hurricane area?” Katie asked in horror, and Derek considered asking her if she wanted some cheese with that whine.

“Get on the ‘net. Track down her parents. How many Lawrences can there be in Ridgemount, North Carolina? Figure out their address. Also, see if you can find rooms for everyone somewhere around there. Both crews—Alex and Caleb.”

“In North Carolina?”

“As close as you can get to Ridgemount.”

“I don’t even know where that is.”

“Then get a map.”

They had stayed up talking most of the night. Jaycee got to hold Macy, and she and Livvie had become fast friends. Jeremiah was cool. He was on her team for Pictionary, and they had won. Andrew, on the other hand, continued to hang back in his own little world and well out of Jaycee’s.

By the next morning when the six of them found their way to the breakfast table, once again sans Luke, who had left long before any of them had gotten up, Jaycee began to feel the oppression of the darkness that was everywhere even though the sun had already made its entrance onto the earth.

“You know, this whole darkness thing is really kind of depressing,” Jaycee said as she sat at the table, her foot wound up underneath her. “You planning on taking those things off any time soon?”

Sage’s eyebrows went up. “The boards? Oh. I’m sure Luke will get to them sooner or later.”

“Eh. Who needs Luke? We can do it. Right, guys?” She looked at her nephews who looked at her like she’d lost her mind. “How hard can it be, right? A few screws. We can do it.” Biting into her corn flakes, she chewed slowly. “Besides, we don’t have to do the second floor, just down here so we’re not living a tomb. Who’s with me?”

She got two very weak “me’s,” but she would take it.

“The rest of the flooring’s here, boss,” Alex said, coming into the bathroom where Derek was finishing up the grab bars and the new side-in tub.

“Awesome.” He slid the hammer into the hook on his tool belt. “Have we heard anything about the countertops yet?”

“This afternoon, I think.”

“Man, dude, you’re rockin’ it today. Let’s do this thing.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Sage asked from the ground as Jaycee climbed up the ladder that her nephews were stabilizing beneath her.

“Absolutely.” Jaycee ran the gun twice to check the battery, made sure it was in reverse and went to work on the first screw. In seconds it was in her hands. “We’ll do both sides and then the top.” Another screw came out and then another. She descended the ladder and at the ground continued across the two on the bottom. “Can you guys bring that ladder over? Right here. Yep. Perfect.” And back up she went.

When the last of the side screws was out, she started across the top. Two screws, and she came down the ladder. “Now I’m going to need you guys to hold right here and right… here, and Sage you push so it stays in place until we’re ready to pull it down.”

“Okay.”

With everyone in place, Jaycee went up the ladder and unscrewed all but the middle screw. “Now when I take this one out, everyone’s going to have to push in, and then we’ll slide it down together. Ready? Here we go.”

Leaning against the thing with her hip, she let the gun zip the last screw out. “Good. Everyone got it?”

Three yeahs sounded simultaneously.

“Good, now let’s let it down slowly. Hold onto the edges, guys.” Down. Down it went until it was setting on the soggy ground. “Excellent!”

“And the Lord said, ‘Let there be light,’” Sage said, clapping. “Wow! Good job, guys! We did it.”

“Let’s do the other ones and surprise Dad,” Jeremiah said with excitement.

“Yay!” his mother said, and Jaycee couldn’t tell if that was sarcastic or not. Nonetheless, they moved to the next window over and got to work.

“Dad is going to love this!”

“Absolutely,” Derek said to Caleb over the cell phone between takes for the show promos. He was nailing them in no time flat. Four more and they should be done, so he could get back to work. “I’m heading down there on Saturday. I’ll go scope it out. Just have your guys online and ready to go in when we decide what we’re doing.”

“Will do,” Caleb said.

“We’re ready, Derek,” Cliff said.

“Well, gotta go. I’ll let you know something as soon as I do.”

Light. Glorious. Wholesome. Wonderful light.

So they still didn’t have anything more than the fireplace to cook with. This felt like real progress.

“Have you heard about everyone else?” Jaycee asked as they sat, heating the beans and weenies up in the fireplace.

“Just from what Luke’s said. Mom and Dad’s got a little wind damage to the shingles, and that back room got flooded a little. I don’t think it was too bad. But some of the ones in town. Like Rachel Taylor. Her poor house had a tree fall right through the upstairs. Busted out a big chunk of the roof and two windows too so major water damage to it.” Sage shook her head. “Good thing she was at her mom’s. That poor thing. She’s been through so much.”

“Rachel Taylor?” Jaycee shook her head and put another weenie on a hanger and into the fire. “I don’t think I know her.”

“Yes you do. You went to school with her. Cute girl. Kind of on the brunette side with a little bit of red. Let’s see. What was her name before? Oh. I’m terrible with names. Uh…”

“Rachel. Rachel. Rachel… Oh, wait. Rachel Murphy?”

“Yeah! That’s it! Rachel Murphy.”

“Who wants another one?” Jaycee asked, and Jeremiah handed her his plate. She carefully transferred the slightly browned weenie to his plate. “I didn’t know she got married.”

Sage’s eyes grew wide. “Seriously? Oh, wow. How did I not tell you about that?” She removed the beans and divided them out to each child sitting around the hearth. “Yeah. They got married, what? A couple years ago? He was military. Just finishing up boot camp. But it gets worse. Her folks had an accident when they were going up to Virginia to see them, and her dad was killed.

“What? Are you kidding? What about her mom?”

“She got real banged up. Broke her hip. It was a bad deal. So Rachel came back to stay with her mom. That was about a year after they had their first little baby boy. Her husband was getting deployed the Middle East somewhere. They bought this house so she could be here. I think they were planning to move here for real when he got out. She’d just found out she was pregnant again when they got word he’d been killed.”

“Oh, no.” Jaycee recoiled at the news. “That’s horrible.”

“I know, right? Just devastated the whole town.” Sage sagged for a moment. “That was only a few months before we found out about Macy. I’d see Rachel at places—the grocery store, things like that, and ugh. My heart just so went out to her. She had a little girl, and so the church threw her a baby shower. But she just looked so sad. I think her mortgage was practically paid off with the benefits and stuff. And now this happened. I can’t even imagine.”

“So she’s staying with her mom now?”

Sage nodded. “Again. It’s just a shame.”

“The flight is booked then?” Derek asked Katie as he sat on his bed, the makeshift schedule in front of him.

“Yes, Saturday at 12:15 just like you said.”

“Great. And you and Elle will be there too?”

“Our flights land a couple hours before yours does that night. You’ll be wheels down about eleven. We’ll all stay at the Wyman, leave the next morning. If we get an early enough start, we can be at Ridgecrest by noon easily.”

“Ridgemount.”

“Whatever.”

He was getting a little tired of her dismissive attitude, but he squelched that. “K. It sounds like everything’s set. I guess I’ll see you early Sunday.”

When Luke came home to check on them at five, he found them all around the Sorry board in the living room. “Well, what do we have here?”

“Daddy!” All three kids jumped up and made a break for him as Jaycee sat back against the hearth and watched the family reunite. Sage too got up and went over to greet her husband. It was heartwarming and special to watch. Jaycee was glad she was here for it.

“Good news,” he said, kissing Sage on the forehead, “they finally got the 7-1 Station back online. So now they’ve just got to get the lines going, and we should have power by tomorrow.”

“Thank goodness. We’ve lost everything that was left in the freezer. It’s a good thing we set up those ice chests. We’re down to the last one.”

He nodded solemnly. “Steve’s really worried about some of the poorer folks on the other side of town. With the store out of everything like it’s been, most of them hadn’t stocked up. It’s a sad situation over there.”

“How is Patty?”

“Oh, you know, Ms. P. She’s got half the neighborhood at her place. Round the clock.”

“They eating rock soup?” Sage smiled a sad smile.

“Wouldn’t surprise me.”

Jaycee pulled up off the floor. “Ms. P? How’s she doing these days?”

“Well, as good as can be expected,” Luke said, rubbing his eyebrow with his thumb as he held Macy with the other arm. “She lost her husband a year or two ago, but she’s as feisty as ever.”

“And her place?”

He looked at Sage first and then from her to Jaycee. “Damaged, but it’s still standing. Like most everything around here.”

“I wish there was something we could do,” Sage said, tugging on the hem of her shirt. “I just feel so crazy-helpless out here doing nothing.”

“Well, it looks to me like someone’s been doing something.” Luke eyed his wife and then his sister-in-law again. “I didn’t know you knew how to run a screw gun.”

“Hazards of the job,” Jaycee said with a shrug. “But I’m with Sage. Maybe tomorrow you could take us into town to help. I have my car, but on these roads…”

“What about the kids?” Sage asked, looking around at them.

That did present a problem. Jaycee shrugged. “So I take the boys. I can go around with them, help where we can. You can stay here with the girls.”

She saw the trapped look in her sister’s eyes. “Or we could stay here if you want.”

A breath and Sage closed her eyes for a second. “No. I think you should go help. At least one of us would be doing something productive.”

By Thursday morning, Derek had the checklist in hand. Finish the carpet and baseboards and painting the trim. Get the furniture back in the living room and stage it properly. Finish up the drawers and cabinet shelves in the kitchen and pantry. Put in the sink and get it all hooked up. He was going over the list as he sat in the breakfast nook when his cell phone beeped. It was barely 5:30 in the morning. Who could that be?

Pulling it out, he stared for half a second and then swiped it on as his heart dragged him forward. “Jaycee?”

“Derek?”

“Jaycee, is that you?” He stood from the table and went one way around the island. He put his hand on the back of his head as he thanked God Himself that she was still alive. “What? How?”

“They finally got the power on last night. Sometime around midnight, and about ten minutes ago the landline got fixed.”

“Oh, man. It is so good to hear your voice,” he said, falling into the relief. “How are you? How is everything? Are they all okay?”

“Well, most of it is still here, but there’s a lot of damage—wind damage, flood damage, a lot of trees down. Me and the boys are going to go out to help today.”

“The boys?”

“Jeremiah and Andrew. My nephews. I might try to get out to my parents’ place later, but the dirt roads are still kind of a mess.”

“In your car? Is that smart?”

“Nah, we’ll probably take Luke’s truck. I can’t have completely lost my touch.”

Crazy how much he loved the adventuresome quality of her willingness to tackle anything. He leaned back, wanting only to keep talking forever. “Have you called Ryder yet?”

“No. Not yet. He’s next on my list.”

Derek could almost hear the smile, and he smiled at that. Why did this feel so incredibly normal and special at the same time?

Then, like a spell snapping at midnight, she cleared her throat. “Well, we’re about ready to get going, so take care. Just thought I’d let you know I’m still alive.”

“Oh. Well, I’m glad.” And he was.

“I’m coming,” she whispered loudly enough for him to hear. “Gotta go, Derek. I’ll try to call you later.”

“K.” He hoped it wouldn’t be too much later. It was this side of insane just how much he had missed her voice, the feeling of being with her. The remembering almost hurt.

“I guess I’ll see ya.”

“Yeah… oh, Jaycee,” he said as his brain finally kicked into gear, but she was gone. Oh, well. He could tell her tonight. He smiled. Boy, was she going to be surprised.

The boys were wide-eyed with amazement at the sheer amount of destruction when they got into town, and Jaycee wasn’t much better. The most amazing thing was just how much hadn’t changed since she’d been here the last time. Boards, debris, trees, water. It was like they were everywhere.

“So why don’t we go to the community center first?” Jaycee said, slipping easily back into take-charge mode. “That way I can get my car. Then we’ll only need your truck if we decide to run out to Mom and Dad’s later.”

Luke nodded and turned that direction. “What’re you planning to do?”

“Help,” Jaycee said simply, and he nodded again with one small glance over at her. “Right guys?”

“Right!” Jeremiah said.

The farm sink was set, and it looked amazing. The crew was finishing the baseboards in the living room, most of which was standard but for the area by the ramp. Derek knew he needed to get in there to help with that. Anything that took thought needed to be supervised. He had learned that much over the years.

“Perfect,” he said, stepping back from the sink and testing it once more as the camera crew recorded the accomplishment. He turned, bounced his eyebrows at the camera, and smiled. “They’re going to love it.”

It was a good thing Jaycee had thought to talk Luke into giving her work gloves or her hands would have been torn up from the tree branches alone, not to mention the fence pickets, and shredded everything else. They had started in the yard nearest the community center and cleaned as much as they could, dragging loose branches and limbs, bits and pieces of boards and insulation, shingles and other debris to the piles at the street just as the others up and down the street were doing. However, some of the limbs were still attached to the trees though broken and falling. Those would require chainsaws, a task Jaycee wasn’t overly thrilled about tackling. Fortunately, she didn’t have access to a chainsaw, so that would have to wait anyway.

“Oh, you boys are being such a big help,” Mr. Sullivan, the driver of one of the dump trucks, said when he showed up.

“Just trying to help, right, guys?” Jaycee pulled up from her task of dragging half a small tree across the yard.

“Yeah,” they both said from either end of the tree they were helping with.

“Well, keep it up. You’re doing a great job.”

Jaycee couldn’t miss the looks on the boys’ faces as they raced back for more limbs and branches. She smiled and winked at Mr. Sullivan. “Thanks.”

“No. Thank you.”

When Derek broke for lunch, he couldn’t stand not knowing how things were going, so he pulled out his phone and placed the call. It rang three times before the voice came on.

“Hello?”

Strange how that sounded so much like Jaycee and yet it didn’t. “Jayc?”

“Oh. No. This is Sage, Jaycee’s sister.”

Jaycee’s sister? And then pieces began to click into place he hadn’t thought to put together. Little things like this was the landline to her sister’s house and Jaycee probably wasn’t even there. “Oh. Uh. Hi. Uh. Is Jaycee… there?” He knew that was a dumb question, but he also knew he was stuck asking it.

“Uh. No. Jaycee went into town to help with the clean-up. Is there something I can help you with?”

Derek put his hand on the side of his belt and then brought it up to his other arm. If he had thought for two more seconds, he might have saved himself from this embarrassment. “Oh. Uh, well, this is Derek. Derek West. I…” He swallowed, suddenly feeling the need to choose his words very carefully. “I work with Jaycee.”

“Oh. Yeah. Derek. Hi. I know who you are. We talked before, remember?”

She knew who he was? Was that good or bad? He couldn’t tell from her voice, and yes, he remembered, but he didn’t think she would have. “Oh. Um. That’s… good. Listen, I was just calling to…”

“Jaycee’s not here right now if you need something, and I really don’t have a way to…”

“No. No. I don’t need anything. Really. I was just calling to… you know, check on her, on things,” he corrected himself, quickly clearing his throat. “Just to see how everything was going… there.”

“Oh.” Sage sounded surprised by that. “Um. Well, it’s going pretty good. Slow, but good. You know. They finally got the power on last night, so that’s a good thing.”

Derek nodded. “Good. Good. Yeah. That’s good.”

“And we got the downstairs windows uncovered yesterday, thanks to Jaycee. I gotta say, that girl’s pretty handy with a screw gun.”

He smiled at that. “Comes in handy sometimes.”

Sage laughed. “Yes, it does. She’s a pretty amazing person, my sister.”

“Yes, she is.” However, he hadn’t really realized how deeply personal that was going to sound until it was out of his mouth. “I mean, I don’t know what I’d do without her.” Great. That was worse. He cleared his throat. “Um, I mean, I’ve been pretty much lost without her these last couple days.” Ugh. This was getting worse by the second. He put his hand on the back of his head to get himself to stop talking. He considered telling her they were coming, but how was he going to say that in a way that didn’t sound desperate and insinuating something he really didn’t want to. “Well, I guess I’d better let you go.”

“I’ll tell Jaycee you called.”

“Okay. Th-thanks.” He wasn’t at all sure that would be a good thing, but what was he going to say, ‘Please don’t tell your sister I’m miserable without her?’ “Bye.”

“Well, you all are making some real progress,” Luke said at noon when he got back to the house they had been working for a couple of hours. The front yard had been cleared of everything they could carry, lift or drag, and between the three of them, that was a lot. Boards, insulation, trash, plastic tarps, screens, shutters, shingles, whole pieces of roof decking. She didn’t know where it had all come from, and part of her didn’t want to ask. They had moved to the backyard at 10:30, and now most of it was cleaned as well.

“I’ve got some great little helpers here,” Jaycee said of her nephews. She put one hand on each shoulder, and she noticed this time Andrew actually looked at her. Maybe he was thawing just a bit.

“Great to hear it. I’m sure Mrs. Yates will be grateful. I think she’s with her daughter. At least that’s what they said at the station.”

Jaycee nodded and then scowled as she looked back at the yard. “These trees are going to be a problem though.” Her mind was already busy working on the issues needed to get the rest of the yard finished. “I don’t have a chainsaw.”

“Yeah.” Luke nodded seriously. “I think you just need to move on, do what you can.”

Sounds of people doing just that filtered through the air all around them. Just then up the road, Luke caught sight of something and lifted his chin. “Look-it here, guys.”

Both boys turned, and excitement lit the air like a shot from a firecracker. “Grandpa!”

Jumping and running, they both headed for the pickup that came abreast of them and stopped. The breath snagged in Jaycee’s chest and held there. She let her gaze drop to the soggy ground and hold there a minute. Of course, she shouldn’t feel so much trepidation about her father’s arrival. So why did she? Would he even recognize her? She wound her lips up into her teeth, steeling herself for whatever was coming.

“Hey, guys!” her father said, hugging his grandchildren in one hug from each side of him.

“Grandpa! Grandpa! Look what we’ve been doing! We’ve been helping!” They spoke so much as one that she couldn’t tell who said what.

“Well, it looks like you’ve been busy.” He walked with them right over to where Jaycee and Luke stood. Only when he got there did he smile at his daughter. “Sage called your mom. She said you got here and you were up here with the boys helping.”

Jaycee looked at him, and her heart wanted to cry for all the time she had stayed away. “Yep. I’m here.”

He stepped over to her, and a smile lit his eyes. “I’m so glad.”

And with that, she was in his arms.

The shower had felt heavenly when Jaycee crawled under it. A million years of dust and dirt covered every inch of her. She put her head back into the water pouring down and let herself relax. They had gotten two yards cleaned. Two. And there were more left than she wanted to try to count. The amount of work was staggering. Somehow she had thought when she came that she could be here a week and have everything back in order. Now, it looked like a year might not be enough.

She rinsed the shampoo out of her hair as she considered what she would do while she was here. What should she do? One thing was going to her parents. Her father’s visit had made her ache to see them, to see the old house in ways she hadn’t realized she would and had almost thought she wouldn’t.

Turning, she let the water hit her face as her thoughts spun through all the years, all the excuses she had used to not come home. And why? Why had she stayed away? She turned again, liking the pounding of the water on her neck. She rubbed there as if she could rub the thoughts away as easily. Never would she have guessed that coming home would scratch up so much disquiet in her spirit. Not that she could ever tell anyone that because how would she even explain it? She didn’t even understand it.

Gently she slid the washcloth down across the scar on her knee that always brought up memories she had thought would surely fade by now. That they hadn’t suggested they might never, but she really hoped that wasn’t true because even now, they dragged up regret, what ifs, and a thousand tears she had carefully buried and forgotten. At least that’s what she told herself every time they came up. “Get it together, Jayc. That was a long time ago. Forget it, and move on.”

Although at noon, Derek had thought the evening wouldn’t be too bad, it seemed every project was still a half-hour from being finished, and those half-hours were starting to add up.

“The flooring’s all done,” Alex said, coming into the bedroom where they were finishing the new bedding and pillows well after seven. The new bedding was Derek’s special surprise for Marvin and his bride. It had come out of his own pocket, but as he stepped back, he knew it would be worth it. He smiled already imagining how delighted they would be in the morning.

“Great. So we’re getting close then?”

“All-but done.”

Derek checked his watch. 7:12. That meant after ten her time, and still she hadn’t called. He wondered if her sister had even given her the message. Maybe she hadn’t and he should call again, or not. He couldn’t decide. Why this was so complicated and confusing all of a sudden, he couldn’t account for. But he felt it just the same. “Well, let’s get this one buttoned up, so we can call it a night.”

“Oh!” Sage suddenly sat up from her chair jostling Macy in her arms.

Jaycee looked up from the book she was reading because she had nothing else to do that seemed doable. She could have gone out to her parents’, and really, she probably should have. However, once she was here, the idea of just sitting and relaxing for a while was too enticing to talk herself into fulfilling duties. Plus, it meant miles of the road that was still quite soppy. “What?” she asked when she realized the exclamation was meant for her.

Sage’s eyes widened. “I completely forgot. Derek called.”

That widened Jaycee’s eyes as well, and she swallowed before she could get it’s-no-big-deal tamped down over the jump of her heart. “Derek? Why would he call?” Then reality slid over her dreams, and she sat up. “Was there a problem? Did he need something?”

“Oh. Uh. I don’t know. I don’t think so. Well, not like that anyway.”

“Not like what? What did he say?”

A sly smile slid over Sage’s face. “That you’re amazing.”

Jaycee scowled. “He did not. Be serious, Sage.”

Hurt and worry etched down her sister’s face. “He did too. Why would I lie about that?”

Rolling her eyes because she knew this wasn’t a fight she could win, Jaycee shook her head. “When did he call?”

“This afternoon. I think it was about four or something.”

Jaycee sighed. Four. They were working. He needed something, and once again, she had let him down. She stood from the sofa.

“Where’re you going?” Sage asked, following her up with her gaze.

“To call Derek. Not that it will do any good now.”

The walls actually felt like they were closing in, closer and closer still until finally, before he completely lost his mind, Derek slid off the bed where he had been for an hour. He needed to eat. With a sigh, he pulled on his boots, grabbed the keys and his wallet. Quietly he slipped out and down the stairs. The place was empty but for his hosts who mostly stayed in their own wing at the back of the property.

By Monday, they would have new guests, but with the rooms all booked by the production company through Sunday night, he was on his own. The little silver car did little to lift his spirits. Into town he went and right to The Wild Turkey. It was as quaint as ever, and when he pushed into the door, he knew he was later than normal. The space had already taken on a bar-like quality with smoke in the air and the lights dimmed. That happened each night Thursday through Sunday around ten o’clock, he had learned. Before that hour, it was a brightly lit family environment. After, it was the town’s version of nighttime entertainment.

There was already a line of large men at the bar and couples on the dance floor. He nodded to the server who nodded back that he could just take a seat somewhere, which he did. With no need to look at the menu, he waited for Tony, the guy who always came out to serve them eventually.

“Well,” Tony said, setting the water in front of him, “I was beginning to think you’d just grabbed a burger. Your usual?”

“Sure.” Derek took a sip, and in seconds, Tony was gone.

Loneliness slipped over Derek’s spirit as his gaze took in the dance floor. The guy with the guitar was back, and half a dozen couples were swaying to the simple music. Sitting back, Derek took in the scene, remembering the night they had been here together, dancing just like that. He remembered the feel of her in his arms. Clearing his throat, he sat forward, pulling himself with his elbows, wishing he could forget as he had so many others.

His gaze slipped from the dancers to the bar and caught on one gaze looking his way. He started to smile, knowing this routine by heart; however, at that moment, he realized his heart really wasn’t even in it. So what? They made a connection tonight, and tomorrow he would be gone, and she would be hitting on someone else entirely. It had always felt so right before. Now it just felt empty and hollow. He had no way to explain that, and he shook his head at the ridiculousness his life had become as his gaze fell and then slipped back over to the dancers.

“Hi, there,” the woman said, suddenly appearing at the edge of his table. She was well-endowed and had seduction pouring off of her. “I’ve seen you around. You’re the guy who’s working on the Anderson’s.”

He diverted his eyes to his tea again and took another sip. “Yep. That I am.”

Lifting her chin, she nodded. “So, you want some company? Since you’re, you know, here by yourself and everything?”

Any other time. Literally. And he would have been right there in the middle of that offer. In fact, any other time, he would have been the one making it. So why did this feel so incredibly different? “Oh, uh, no. I don’t think so.”

In his pocket his cell phone beeped, and he reached for it, took one look at the screen and had to corral the leap his heart took. Jaycee Lawrence. He had to shake out of the thoughts to get the right ones over them. “Uh. I’m sorry. I’ve really got to take this.”

A second and the woman shrugged. “Your loss, sugar.”

As she turned and walked away, Derek thought that he hadn’t lost much. Quickly he swiped the phone on lest it stop beckoning him to answer it. It took a slow breath to settle the galloping of his spirit, but thankfully, he got himself calm enough not to sound panicked or hopeful or desperate. What was happening to him? “This is Derek.”

After three rings, Jaycee had convinced herself that he wasn’t going to answer, so she wasn’t at all prepared when he did. The first thing she heard was his amazing voice, the second was the music in the background. It could be nothing else, and she had to take a breath to get reality over the stupid fantasy that he had called her for any other reason than work. “Oh. Hey. Sorry I missed your call earlier.”

“Yeah. Uh. Sage told me you were out. No biggie.”

Why did he sound so distracted and disconnected? Jaycee wound her lips under her teeth knowing without even being there. He was with someone else—at their place. She almost laughed out loud at that to get the tears that were stinging her eyes to stop. Their place. What a joke. “Yeah, sorry about that. I took the boys uptown to help clean up.” She scuffed the top of her toe into the floor, turned to the wall, and with her arm braced in front of her, hit her head softly on the wall three times. This is not that, Jaycee. He is not interested in you. Get it together already. Her heart dove and then lodged in her throat. “Yeah. Sorry I wasn’t here. Did you have a question?”

There was a question. Derek was almost sure of it, but what was it, and why couldn’t he remember it? “Oh, uh. No. We were just… uh.” He licked his lips that were suddenly deathly dry. North Carolina. He needed to tell her he was coming. He wanted to. He just wasn’t sure he wanted to think about what she might think about the idea. Why did he suddenly feel like a guy about to be rejected for the prom? This was insane. It Jaycee, and it wasn’t like that. “Uh, well. I was just going to tell you.” He pulled forward with his elbows on the table and fought to figure out how to say the words in a way that wouldn’t scream all the stupidity that was in his heart. “I talked to Brent about it, and he’s already okayed it. In fact, I think Katie and Elle should probably be there tomorrow.”

“There? Where’s there?”

“There. North Carolina.”

“North…? Wait. What? Why would they be in North Carolina? Derek, what are you talking about?”

He heard the panic, and it did nothing good for his heart. “Um, well, Brent and I were talking after the radio thing the other day, and we thought it would be a good idea to do a couple of special episodes about the hurricane. You know, pick a couple places, go and help them put things back together.” Why he had expected enthusiasm, he didn’t know. Instead, all he got was a long string of complete silence. “Jayc? You still there?”

Well, that really depended a great deal on his definition of still there. Picking her chin and heart up off the floor was more like it. “Uh, y-yeah.” Jaycee’s face corkscrewed with worry she couldn’t quite name. “I’m… uh… I’m just a little… surprised. That’s all.”

Surprised. She tested that word. Yes. It seemed safe enough. And truthful enough to be plausible but not so truthful as to be dangerous.

“Well, I mean, it was mostly Brent’s idea. We just got to talking and we thought, you know, it would be great for ratings and for the show and everything.”

“Oh. Y-yeah.” It was a stretch to recover, but she was making a valiant effort. “Of course. Um.” She managed to snap witty and enthusiastic over all the other horrible thoughts streaking through her head. “So when are you going to be here?” However, her voice squeaked on the question, and she grimaced at that.

“Well, we’re supposed to finish up here tomorrow, so I’m flying out Saturday morning. Katie booked the flight into Norfolk.”

Katie. That was a name and a memory she wanted no part of. “Oh. Okay. Great. So, you need me to rent you a car, get you a map, pick you up?” Why was it so hard to think of logistics? Logistics was her job. So why was it so impossible to find them around the beating of her heart?

Was it because each beat was betraying her? Saying things she would never dare say out loud?

“Nah. Don’t worry about it,” he said, dismissing the offer. “I think I can handle it.”

“Oh. Okay.” The longer this went, the less she could breathe. “If you’re sure…”

“Yeah.”

She nodded three times. Derek West was coming here, to the town she grew up in. Air would have been nice, but it was bunching up in her lungs making her lightheaded.

“Listen, Jayc,” he finally said. “My dinner just got here.”

“Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Um. I guess, I’ll… see you Saturday then.”

“Sounds good.”

“K.” Her heart stayed on that line one more second. “Well, bye.”

“See ya.”

Another second and she carefully put the phone onto the cradle. Derek West was coming to Ridgemount. There was no way this was going to turn out well.

Chapter 15

Friday morning, Jaycee got on the phone bright and early, placing the first call to Elle. She didn’t have the heart to talk to Katie just yet, and she was quite sure that said some not very-wonderful things about her professionalism, but with another option available, she took it. They were already in Norfolk, and they would be heading down within the hour. Jaycee gave them directions and said she would meet them at noon by the community center. When she hung up, she had to corral her nerves. This was actually happening, and nobody could tell her it was a good thing.

“Oh, my!” Martha stepped into her new living area, and her hands immediately went to her mouth as her eyes widened. “Marvin! I don’t think this is even our house.”

Derek’s breath caught in his lungs. Did she hate it? He hadn’t used as many of their original furniture pieces as he had thought they would, and he hadn’t thought to warn them of that fact.

“Oh, my!” she said again, shaking her head as tears welled into her eyes. “It’s… it’s so… it’s so beautiful!”

With one breath, Derek smiled and then looked down at Marvin. This wait was even more challenging.

“Look at these drapes,” Martha continued as she went over to them. “Oh my, they are so simple and yet so perfect. They set off the windows. I feel like I’m in a dream. Quick someone pinch me!”

Those standing around laughed as Derek kept one eye on Marvin who still hadn’t said anything.

“Can we… can we go into the kitchen?” Martha asked.

“Absolutely,” Derek said, and he offered her his arm, which she took with the glint of a young girl’s dreams in her eye. “Watch your step. This floor slope takes a little getting used to.”

However, Marvin easily followed them right out of the living area and over into the kitchen which now felt a square-mile bigger than before. Walls gone always had that effect.

“Oh, my!” Each ‘oh, my’ was more surprised and delighted than the one before. “Look at this!” This time, she didn’t even wait for him to follow. Instead she let go and went right over to the countertop where she ran her hand over the glistening finish. “It’s so… us.”

Wrapping his arms in front of him, Derek watched her and then glanced down at Marvin who sat there with a look Derek couldn’t read at all. Was he angry? Hurt? Disappointed? Why wasn’t he saying anything? Finally Derek had to know. “So, Marvin? Do you think this will work for you?”

He wasn’t at all prepared for the look he received, and worry trounced through him. His glance over at Cliff said he wasn’t at all sure what to do with the cameras. This felt very much like a pending disaster. A moment more and he signaled to Cliff to cut the filming.

“Cut,” Cliff said to the surprise of nearly everyone in the room.

The last thing Derek wanted was to put Marvin on the spot, and yet if something was seriously wrong, they needed to know now so they could fix it. The perfectly-planned schedule for the rest of his day marched through his mind, but he couldn’t focus on that and fix this. So he pushed it from his mind and heart before sitting on his heels in front of the wheelchair. Leveling his gaze at the old man who had his head down, Derek fought for words and air.

“Marvin, is something wrong? If there’s something wrong, we’ll fix it. I promise, but you’re going to have to tell me what it is.”

A moment and the faded gray eyes lifted to reveal spots of unshed tears. “It’s better than I ever could have asked.”

The breath slid from Derek’s lungs.

“I’m not much on letting people see…” Marvin wrinkled his nose as if he was about to sneeze; however, Derek knew it wasn’t a sneeze that was attacking him.

Derek smiled and nodded. Then he put out his hand to rest on the man’s arm. “I’m glad you like it.”

Marvin nodded and one corner of his mouth lifted. “You did good.”

“Thank you. That means a lot coming from you.”

Dragging things across the yards, Jaycee had formed muscles she didn’t even know she had, and most of them were sore by Friday morning.

“You know,” Luke said as he helped her clean up the toppled fencing and shredded trees in the next yard on the block. The boys had finally gone back to school, but with Luke’s help, she was making remarkable progress. “The roads aren’t much of a problem anymore. Just sayin’.” He crossed past her and retrieved another small splintered section of fence and a board that had been slung into a bush.

“And this concerns me… how?” She whipped the ponytail out of her face and took hold of a large branch with both hands, tugging, dragging and yanking.

“Well, Sage said she talked to your mom yesterday, and she was kind of surprised you hadn’t been over there. Said she knew why at first, but now…” Going around the branch she was still trying to drag, he lifted it and helped her carry it out to the street.

All up and down the little town, people were doing the same thing—cleaning up. Life was beginning to return to some semblance of normal now that their existence was no longer in jeopardy.

They deposited the branch and headed back for the fencing as he shrugged. “Course, I told Sage I kind of see your mom’s point, since you’ve been here nearly a week and all.”

Picking up three pickets, Jaycee started for the street.

“I mean, I can’t imagine coming all the way across the country,” Luke continued, “and not going that last two miles to see my folks.”

Of course he couldn’t. He was Luke. Perfect Luke, who besides not getting his entire family out of harm’s way for a Cat 4 hurricane had never done anything remotely worth staying away for.

“Well, it’s not like I’ve had much time. I mean, I’ve been working all day, and now with the show coming… I’m going to have to go help Katie and Elle line everything out, and we still have to choose the places we’re going to work on.”

“Not saying you’re not busy,” Luke said as he swung a twisted piece of lawn furniture into the pickup trailer now collecting things at the curb. Every so often a neighbor would come by and transport the debris. It wasn’t a fast process, but they were finally making headway. “I just… think it would be a good idea to at least make the trip out there.”

She knew he was right. He was. He was always right. He had been right about Sage. He had been right about her going back to school after the accident. And he was right now. The only question she had was why did he always have to be right when wrong would have been so much easier?

“Oh! You didn’t tell us you were doing the bedroom!” Martha gasped when they made it to the final remodeled room.

“We didn’t do much,” Derek said as the two of them went over to the new navy, beige, and brown bed. “Just a little paint on the walls and some new bedding.”

Marvin laughed sarcastically. “What’d you do with the old bedding?”

Why did Derek always feel one step away from disaster with this man? “Oh, we kept it in case it had sentimental value. It’s in the closet.”

Marvin shook his head. “Well, that’s good a good thing. You’d better just put it on my side because I’ll be needing it soon enough.”

That puzzled Derek. “Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”

This laugh was even heartier. “Because I know Martha and there is no way she is going to let me sleep with this fancy stuff.”

“Why not? That’s what it’s for.”

“Now, Marv,” Martha said. “Don’t you go telling him that story. You’ve told everyone.”

“Because it’s true. That’s why.” Marvin spun the chair. “The last time we got new bedding, I think it was three years before she left the new blankets on the bed. She’d take them off every night and put the old ones on. When I asked why, she said she didn’t want to use the nice ones because they might get worn.” He slapped his hand on the chair arm. “Worn, I tell you. So it’s 30 degrees and I’m shivering under this old threadbare thing when there’s a nice, new comforter laying right over the top of that there chair, and she would not let me go get the thing and use it.”

Derek saw her expression then, and he knew this would take some diplomacy. He stepped over to her and put his arm around her small shoulders. “Okay, so here’s the deal.” He waited for her to nod, which took a full ten seconds. “Marvin here deserves to use the nice comforter on the bed and so do you. I got them for you to enjoy, not just to look at. So no putting it over the chair.”

The nodding stopped.

A second and he thought things through and then leaned down closer to her ear. “He took a leap of faith letting us come and make this place work for you and him, at least let him enjoy the comforter.”

Finally she smiled and nodded.

“Yeah?” he asked, both wanting to make sure and to solidify their deal. “You promise? No chair?”

“No chair,” she said softly.

Derek looked over at Marvin. “Now, Marv, if she puts it on the chair, you call me, and we’re going to have another little talk. Okay?”

Marvin smiled like the sunshine. “You got it.”

At ten-til-noon, Jaycee dusted her hands off and looked down at herself. Jeans that were torn from some piece of something two days before. A T-shirt that had seen better days. Dust, dirt, sweat, and grime on practically every inch. Oh, yeah, she was the height of fashion. With a sigh, she headed for her water bottle on the porch and took a long drink. It wasn’t long and Luke joined her.

“You about to head over there?” he asked, taking a drink from his own jug.

“Yeah.” She took another drink, not in any hurry to rejoin her former life.

He glanced at her. “You coming back over here then?”

A shrug and she shook her head. “I don’t know. It depends on what they want to do.”

Luke nodded. “So you’re leaving me again, huh?”

Jaycee smiled a half-smile and nudge him with her shoulder. “Hey, you left me first.”

“Oh, yeah.” His own smile came out. “I did, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, and with my sister too.” She swiped at her mouth and then let out a long, hard breath. “I’d better get over there before they take one look around and bolt.”

He check her with an odd look and then nodded. “Wouldn’t want that.”

“We got the final stand-ups done,” Derek said to Brent as he headed to Reno. Funny how the slots and poker tables weren’t even registering in his world anymore. In fact, he wished they would have had the good sense to schedule him a flight out tonight. “They should be spot-on. They loved the tub, and the slope in the living room worked out great.”

“So you’re headed out to North Carolina then? Have you checked in with Jaycee yet?” Brent asked.

It was impossible to miss the leap his heart made at that name. Seriously. He was going to have to get that under control. “Yeah. Some last night. I think Katie and Elle are scoping things out now. They should have a list of options ready for us to choose when I get there tomorrow.”

“And Cliff and everyone?”

“They’ll be there bright and early Monday morning. Both construction crews too. I’m hoping to get four projects done over the next six weeks or so, but we’ll see how it goes.”

“Okay. Well, keep me updated.”

“Will do.” And with that, he ended the call and stuck the little phone in his shirt pocket. Laying one wrist across the steering wheel, he let the other hand guide it from the bottom. He wished he could call her, but he knew he would only get Sage, so he wouldn’t even try that until later. No, for now, he would make this first leg of the journey and be happy about that.

However, in the emptiness of the car his heart began to think what it would be like to see her again. That he had missed her was a given. It was how much he had missed her that scared him. His gaze followed a sign outside his window until it passed without him reading it. “Okay, Derek, seriously. You’re going to have to get this together here. It’s just Jaycee. Stop acting like a teenager with a crush. This is getting ridiculous.”

“Derek wants four projects,” Elle said. “He said we’ll do about six weeks here. Both crews.”

Jaycee’s eyes widened. “Both?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” Jaycee nodded. They were still in front of the community center as they had been for ten minutes. She knew at some point they would have to actually move from the spot, but she wanted to push that off as long as possible. “And he’s going to be here tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Katie said. “Around two. Those connecting flights from Nevada are murder on a schedule.”

Great. Something to look forward to. “And the crews?”

“Monday. We couldn’t get them very close though,” Elle said. “In fact, we’re going to have to go back to Norfolk tonight. Everything’s either booked or damaged around here. Not exactly optimal, but I guess we’ll have to deal with it.”

“Okay. So, how do you want to do this? Do you want to drive around or what? I mean, I don’t know what would be the best.”

“Well, I was kind of thinking we could try to do ones that you know,” Elle said. “Not your family, of course, but like people you know directly, personally.”

Jaycee stifled the laugh. “Well, considering I know pretty much everyone who lives here, and pretty much everyone who lives here needs help, that doesn’t narrow it down too much.”

Katie looked horrified. “You know everyone?”

“Yeah.” Jaycee crossed her arms. “At least I did until I left. There are only a few who’ve moved in since then, but not many.”

“Huh. I can imagine.” And there was condescension in Katie’s voice and expression.

Fighting to ignore that comment, Jaycee put her hand on the back of her neck and thought through their options. “There was one I was thinking about. A young mother of two. Her husband was killed a couple years back in the military. Her house got slammed pretty good.”

“This is what I’m talking about,” Elle said as if thrilled by the news. Funny, how Jaycee didn’t feel the same way. She wished Rachel didn’t need their help. Still, if they were going to help someone, Rachel would be a good place to start.

What he really wanted to do was call Jaycee, what Derek did instead was call Elle. She filled him in on the places they were considering—a two story that had a tree take out a top window that then flooded the place, a community center something-or-other with part of the roof damaged pretty badly and a damaged outside wall, and the pastor’s house. They all sounded like good rating’s draws. Elle said Jaycee knew some of the people, so that would help too.

After that call, he placed one to Caleb. Materials were going to be a real issue, and he wanted to get started on that angle as soon as possible. Then he called Cliff to make sure the camera crew would be in place by Monday morning. It was then that he learned the hotel situation was a real problem, and he wondered what his own options would be when he got there. Surely Elle or Katie had thought to book him something. Normally, he would let Jaycee take care of making sure that had been covered, but he didn’t feel right calling her, nor did he think his nerves could take that. So he didn’t. At eight he gave up and went down to the poker table. He wasn’t planning to stay long, just kill some time and maybe have a chance to think about something other than her.

So he was surprised when his cell phone rang just after nine. He pulled it out and had to take a breath when he saw the name. Jaycee Lawrence. It wasn’t her normal number, but he had plugged Sage’s home number in as Jaycee’s alternate contact info. With a breath, he swiped it on. “This is Derek.” He picked up his cards and shook his head, tapping twice on the table.

Jaycee hadn’t expected the noise, and in the quiet kitchen, it seemed even louder. “Derek?”

“Yeah. Stay.”

“What?”

“Oh. Nothing. Sorry. Just playing a little Black Jack. Did you need something?”

Hurt bowled over her, but she beat it back. Someone to talk. Someone to tell that she was freaking out. Someone to lean on. “Oh, uh. No. That’s cool. I just thought I’d see what the plans were, you know, for tomorrow and everything.” She wound her hand up and over her shoulder and into the knot of the ponytail she found there. “But that’s… It’s fine.”

“Ugh.” He exhaled hard. “21. Figures. Nope. I’m out.”

“Sorry. I don’t mean to keep you.”

“No. Don’t worry about it. You’re saving me from losing my life’s savings.”

She half-laughed. “Sounds serious.”

“Well, it was gonna get that way if I didn’t get up. So, Elle says you found some places?”

“Oh. Uh, yeah. We did. A couple.” Why did her heart jerk at the thought that he had called Elle rather than her? But then again, that was stupid. She was off-the-radar. Of course he called Elle. “So, uh, what time are you getting here tomorrow?”

“Like two-thirty or three, something like that.”

“Do you need me to get you a car?”

“Nah. I think Elle got one lined up.”

“Oh. Okay. So are you just going to stay in Norfolk for the weekend, or what’s the plan?”

Stay in Norfolk the whole weekend? Was she crazy? “Oh, uh. No. I was thinking I’d probably just drive over so we can take a look at the places, see what needs to be done, that kind of thing.” He waited for his chips to be cashed out, thanked the lady without words, and headed back to his room. “I figure I’ll need to get some material estimates to Caleb. I’m sure nails are real easy to come by out there these days.”

“Nails are easy,” she laughed. “Usable ones are a lot harder.”

Derek laughed at that as he headed up to his room. “Still pretty much a mess huh?”

“Yeah. Luke and I worked about three hours on one yard today. I don’t think I ever realized how many older people we have here. Most of the younger ones can do it, but it’s hard to move a tree when you’re 80.”

“Hard enough when you’re 35.”

“I hear ya there. You wouldn’t believe how good I’m getting with a chainsaw.”

He smiled at the very thought. “Oh, now that is frightening.”

“Tell me about it. I think Luke nearly swallowed his teeth the first time he saw me with the thing.”

Strange how Derek wanted to ask and yet he didn’t want to over-step his bounds. Throwing caution to the wind, he bravely asked, “So how’re Luke and Sage?”

Her sigh did nothing good for his heart. “They’re good. I think everyone’s still in trauma mode though, just going through the motions, doing what needs to be done.”

“And your mom and dad?” Although Derek was listening, he didn’t even hear a sigh. “How are they? Are they okay?”

“Yeah.” But the word was barely a breath.

How there could be so much said when she’d said nearly nothing, he had no idea. “Is their place okay?”

“Yeah. I mean, I guess so. I don’t really know. I haven’t really…”

But the words trailed off and he scowled. “You haven’t really what?”

“It’s just, I’ve been busy, you know? Helping and everything. I haven’t really gotten a chance to go out there.”

That punched him backward. “You haven’t gone to see your parents?”

Silence.

That feeling of knowing he was overstepping his bounds trounced on him again. “Why haven’t you gone to see your parents, Jayc?”

“I… um, you know. It’s been…” Then suddenly she yawned loud enough for people in Missouri to hear. “Listen, Derek, I really need to be getting to bed. Elle and Katie know where the community center is. I’ll swing by there around three or so to see you when you get in.”

The rest of the conversation floated right on past him as Derek tried to make sense of her not going to at least check on her parents. What was that all about? The question zigged in and out of his mind the rest of the night. Maybe it wasn’t his place to butt in. Then again, isn’t that what friends did? They were friends, right? However, that was as hard to pin down as everything else seemed to be when Jaycee Lawrence was the subject of the discussion.

All day long on Saturday Jaycee kept one eye and her heart on her watch. Three o’clock. Derek would be here at three o’clock. Of course, Elle and Katie would too. This was business, plain and simple. That’s why she didn’t bother to do more than put her hair in her normal ponytail or dress in something other than her new version of work clothes—jeans and a T-shirt. In fact, along with the work gloves, she was hardly more than a step up from Worst Jobs in America as she sawed through the downed tree in Mrs. Ellis’s yard a little after two.

Luke had taken the boys down the block, so she was on her own with this project, and what a project it was turning out to be. The 100-year-old tree had limbs and branches snaking out in every direction so that she had to be as careful behind herself as in front lest she back up and trip over a wayward branch with the chainsaw in hand. Her arms vibrated with the thing as she pushed through one of the thicker branches. No wonder it had lasted 100 years, the thing did not give up easily.

Everywhere Derek looked as he drove into Ridgemount there was both destruction and work going on. Every house, every yard had if not outright debris, then at least signs that the debris had recently been moved. Several of the roofs had clear damage—shingles missing, soffit torn up or off, eave damage, even decking that was exposed and walls that were battered and beaten. Everything was standing, but nothing was untouched. They would have their pick of projects at this rate.

Not having a clue where the community center was, and with Elle’s “you can’t miss it” being the best directions he had, he drove slowly, ducking to get a better look at the destruction even as he wondered about the best way to find his destination. Finally, realizing that although the town was small, directions would be helpful, he stopped at one yard where there were five people working.

He put the large black pickup into park and slid out, being sure to shut the door behind him. The scope of the amount of work everywhere was overwhelming, and the crazy thing was, they had been cleaning up for nearly a week.

“Hey, there,” a man said, coming over. “Can I help you?”

“Uh, yeah. I sure hope so.” Derek whipped the sunglasses off. “I was looking for the community center? I’m supposed to be meeting Jaycee Lawrence there, but I’m a little early I think.”

“Jaycee? Oh. Last I saw her, she was at Mrs. Ellis’s.” The guy pointed up the street. “Just go up this street right here and then take a left. It’s the fourth house down on the right.”

“Great. Thanks so much.” Derek shook the man’s hand and headed back to the truck. One thing about small towns, you never had to be lost for long.

The tree was coming apart in small pieces mostly because she had to drag away whatever she cut off, and Jaycee had learned that if she cut off too much, she had to cut it again to be able to manage dragging it anywhere. She was grateful for the safety glasses Luke had given her because her own would have been no match for the flying wood chips sailing up from the gnawing bite of the chainsaw. They would have enough wood chips to cover half the country at this rate.

Derek took one look at the petite frame of the woman in the midst of the massive tree, and he let out a breath and shook his head. That was Jaycee all right, never one to let even a monstrous project overwhelm her. He shut off the truck, slid out and strode over to where the chainsaw was tearing through the bark. It was far too loud for her to hear him even if he yelled. So instead, he just stood and watched her—her determination stretching taut to make up for her small frame against the enormous task. With a shake of his head, Derek couldn’t help but smile. She was truly amazing.

One more grind and the branch she was working on gave way. She went down six inches when it did and then righted herself and cut the motor before shaking out her hands.

“Nice work,” he said with a grin, and she spun, the chainsaw ready though she probably didn’t mean it to be.

Shock bolted through her features. “Derek. What? Oh, my gosh.” And then she was moving in multiple directions at once, putting down the chainsaw, looking at her watch, and removing the glasses and her gloves. “You weren’t supposed to be here until three. Why didn’t you tell me you’d be early? How did you find me? This is a surprise.”

He fought not to laugh. “I can tell.” Winding his arms up in front of him lest they do something stupid like try to hug her, he lifted his chin at her project. “Quite the project you’ve got going there.”

Coming three steps over but stopping a full five feet from him, she snapped the gloves together as her gaze fell. “Aren’t they all at this point?” Then she lifted her gaze again, and he couldn’t help but think how much he had missed just being in her presence. That sweet face minus the harsh glasses was enough to completely do in a guy’s heart if he let it.

This was incredibly embarrassing, not to mention overwhelming. Somehow Jaycee had prepared herself to see him at the community center, telling herself at three she would be ready, but this didn’t feel at all like ready. This felt like an ambush. And lands, he looked better than she even remembered. Grayish-brown plaid shirt over a gray T-shirt under it, hair just right, that smile, those eyes. This was going to be impossible. She reached up and swiped the sweat from her temple with her wrist, wishing she looked somewhere in the realm of human rather than the wreck she knew she was.

“So, can you use a hand?” he asked, lifting his chin across her toward the tree before holding both of his hands out. “Or two?”

“Oh.” Awkwardness jerked through her. She flipped the gloves backward to indicate the tree. “You don’t have to. I mean, we can go and look at the projects. This is just…”

His face corkscrewed in that annoyed humorous way that she loved so much. “What? You don’t trust me, or you don’t think I can handle it?”

“What?” Her eyes went wide as her heart skipped and tripped over the quasi-grin on his handsome face. Why did her cheeks have to flame to life with one look at him like that? She was beginning to feel like an idiot. “Oh, no. I didn’t mean that. I meant…” Then she noticed the black pickup at the street, and other questions attacked her. “Uh, where are Elle and Katie? I thought they were coming with you.”

He shrugged. “I left them in Norfolk. We’re going to have a full staff meeting on Monday to make all the decisions. I figured a little downtime for me to get a feel for the place would be a better idea.”

“Oh.” Why was that word the only one she could find in her brain? “Well, I mean, we don’t have to work on this. I could show you around, show you the places we had thought about.”

Tipping his head, he lifted his eyebrows. “Or you could let me help and then we could go look at the places.”

Jaycee knew she was being ridiculous. Just let the man help and stop being so hard-to-work-with. “Yeah. Okay. Well, I guess if you really want to.” Then she looked down. “But I only have these gloves.”

He nodded. “Then give me the chainsaw.”

Derek noticed her reluctance in that plan, but she seemed to hit override on whatever new protest she was coming up with because her mouth never said what her eyes did.

With only that, she went back over and bent to pick up the chainsaw. His gaze took in all of her. The worn jeans, the form-fitting T-shirt. Wow. She was more gorgeous than he remembered. Maybe that had something to do with the fact that normally he saw her in heels and professional dress. At that second, she turned with the chainsaw in hand. “It jerks a little and pulls to the right. You’ve got to angle it left or it’ll get away from you.”

Coming over to him, she handed him the safety glasses with hardly a glance.

“Those wood chips are a bear and a half.” Somehow she made the transfer without ever really looking at him at all. “I’ll just drag whatever you get done to the street.”

He watched her, noticing to the soft middle of his core how she studiously kept her gaze from his. “Okay. Sounds like a plan.” Taking the safety goggles from her and putting them on, he worked the chainsaw up into his hands, smelling the oil and the gas that permeated it. It wasn’t huge for him, but he could see how it wouldn’t be light for her. Ripping the thing on, he went over to find a starting spot. As the whole thing was one jumbled mess, he guessed it didn’t matter where he started as long as he started somewhere. With that, he went to work, splitting through the branches like a knife through butter.

It took Jaycee only a few minutes to see and compare his strength to hers, and to know how badly she lost in that comparison. It would have been nice to be able to convince herself that she didn’t really need his help, but that was futile at best. In no time the stack he had sawed and cleared was double what she had managed to carry and drag to the street in the last four hours so that her belief in her ability to do anything right enough to not completely let him down flagged dangerously.

Wanting to take a break but knowing she couldn’t, she wiped the sweat from her forehead as she trudged back to the ever-growing pile of branches he was accumulating. She was going to die of heat stroke if she wasn’t careful, and her only prayer was that he wouldn’t be around to witness her incredible lack of strength when it happened. The roar of the chainsaw never so much as dimmed, and with Derek’s back to her, she prayed again that he wouldn’t notice just how far behind she was getting. Just as she made her choice of what branch in the massive tangle to move next, Luke and the boys pulled up in Luke’s pickup. Next to Derek’s it looked a million years old. However, she barely had time to make the comparison when both boys jumped out and came racing toward her.

“Guess what?” Jeremiah said before he’d even gotten to her. “Dad said he’s going to take us out for ice cream.”

“Ice cream, huh?” Jaycee grabbed hold of a branch and lugged it six inches before giving up right in the middle of the yard. “Must be nice.” She swiped at her forehead again, this time with both wrists though the effort was futile. “You going to bring me some? I’m dying out here.” She wiped her wrists down her jeans and then tried again on her forehead before tugging at her T-shirt to move the air around her. The humidity was murder.

“We were going to take Mom and the girls some,” Jeremiah said as Luke strode up behind his sons, looking not at her but at the ghost-chainsawer behind her. The growl of the saw cut through the day with a snarling grind.

“Oh, well, yeah. Of course,” Jaycee said, wishing Luke wouldn’t notice she had acquired help. “I’m sure they’ll like that.”

Luke lifted his chin in Derek’s direction. “Who’s the help?”

Jaycee sniffed and swiped again as she glanced back, wishing her whole being didn’t heat with the single glance. She turned back and shrugged. “Derek showed up earlier.” She shrugged as if this wasn’t humiliating her to the core. “He wanted to help so…”

At just that moment the noise of the saw died around them, and she glanced back over, praying this wouldn’t be as bad as she thought it might be. Two tries with the pull starter and Derek turned.

“I think it’s out of gas,” he called and then noticed that they had acquired company. Leaving the saw on the ground, he removed the safety goggles as he strode over to them across the yard. He had removed the plaid shirt in favor of the simplicity of the light gray T-shirt, and Jaycee began to think it wasn’t just the humidity that was hot.

Not waiting for her to make the introductions, Derek stuck his hand out to Luke. “Derek West.”

“Luke Baker.”

The name seemed to register on Derek’s face as he stepped back and glanced at Jaycee.

“Thanks for pitching in,” Luke said. “We can use every hand we can get.”

“No problem.” Derek’s gaze swept past them. “Looks like you’ve got a pretty big job on your hands around here.”

“You can say that again. Just getting the place cleaned up has gotten to be a real chore. I can’t even imagine what it’s going to take to get it back to normal.” Luke put his hands on his waistline and nodded. “But I hear your guys are coming to help out some with that.”

Derek tipped his head to the side and shrugged. “We’re sure going to try. Looks like we’ll have our pick of places to work on. You got any suggestions for places we might tackle?”

“Oh. Uh.” Luke cut his gaze at Jaycee and then shrugged. “Well, the community center’s roof got messed up on the south side. It doesn’t look like too big of a job, but none of us can really get to it because we’re working on the houses and yards. But Pastor Steve keeps saying it sure would be nice to get that fixed so we can start feeding the people again—especially those who came in to help.”

“Feeding?” Derek asked, winding his arms at his chest.

“Yeah. We’re set up to feed the ones who could use some help a couple Saturdays out of the month, so it wouldn’t be any big stretch to feed the people out here working. But with that roof like it is, the place is pretty much off-limits to everybody.”

“Hmm. You got a minute? Maybe we could go check it out.” Then Derek looked down at Jaycee. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“What?” Her eyes went wide as she reached up and scratched at her ponytail. “Oh. No. No. That’s fine.”

“But we were going to get ice cream,” Jeremiah whined.

Jaycee’s gaze snapped to her nephews, and she assessed everything in a millisecond. “Tell you what, guys, why don’t you all help me with these branches, and then we can all go out for ice cream?” It was a horrible plan all the way around, but it was the best thing she could think of with no notice.

“Yeah,” Luke said. “Why don’t you two stay and help Aunt Jaycee? We’ll be back in no time.”

Derek glanced down at Jaycee who was standing a mere two feet from him. He was surprised she hadn’t protested the plan, but then again, why would she? What difference did it make to her what houses or places they fixed? “Sounds like a plan to me. You can leave the big branches, Jayc. I’ll get them when I get back.”

“Oh. Yeah,” Jaycee said, dismissively. “Don’t worry about us. We can totally handle this. Right guys?”

“Right,” the boys said.

And it was really pointless to argue with her. Derek knew better than anyone else that somehow those branches would be gone by the time they got back. He felt bad about leaving her to do the work, but he also knew this was a golden opportunity to line things up for the show, not to mention having a few minutes to assess this Luke character who had nearly succeeded in scaring Jaycee to death. “Okay, well, good luck.”

“Ha.” Jaycee laughed. “We’ll show them. We don’t need no stinking luck. Come on, guys.”

With that, Derek watched her for one second as she stepped past him and got to work. There was nothing weak about that woman.

“You ready?” Luke asked.

“Uh. Yeah. Let’s do this thing.”

Chapter 16

It hadn’t been easy, but the pile of branches was next to the road by the time Luke and Derek returned. The thing that took Jaycee the most off guard was how serious their conversation seemed to be and how little they seemed to notice anyone else was on the planet as they came back across the yard.

“Yeah. I think so,” Luke said. “I know he’d appreciate it because to be honest, he hardly makes enough to live on much less to go trying to fix that house up.”

They walked up together.

“Well, it looks like you boys have been working hard,” Derek said, appraising their work. “I’m impressed. Maybe I should hire you for my show.”

They both stood just a little straighter, and Jayce smiled, knowing what it was like to be caught in the glow of his spotlight.

“So, I promised the boys ice cream,” Luke said, looking back and forth at them both. “Why don’t the two of you join us? We’re just going to stop and get some and head out to the house.”

Instantly Jaycee glanced at Derek and then over to the tree which hadn’t yet been fully cleared from the yard. “Oh, we…”

“I haven’t had a good bowl of ice cream in forever,” Derek said, clapping his hands. “You get me some strawberry, and I’m there.”

“You got it,” Luke said. “Come on, guys. Let’s go get that ice cream before Mom thinks we escaped to Mars.”

Just like that the three of them headed for the pickup which still looked a million years old sitting next to the shiny black one. Jaycee felt their departure all the way to her toes. Without them here, she had no buffer between herself and being an idiot, and that was truly frightening. In the next breath, she turned for the tree and the chainsaw, not really going to either one but wanting at all costs to get away from him. “So you think it’s out of gas, huh?”

“Sounded like it the way it died.” He shadowed her across the yard, and when she got in the middle of the tree, she realized how much progress he’d actually made. All that was really left was the trunk and the roots that had been torn from the ground. Too bad. That tree had probably been there nearly as long as the town had.

She exhaled hard. “I sure was hoping we’d get done with this….”

“Oh, you kids,” Mrs. Ellis, the owner said, appearing on the porch. “You all are just dears for doing this.”

Hating that he was following her everywhere like a shadow she couldn’t get rid of, Jaycee went over to Mrs. Ellis. “We’re glad we could help. Our chainsaw seems to have run out of gas though. You don’t have one we might be able to borrow to finish up, would you?”

“You know, I think I just might. Henry left all of his old tools in the garage. I believe he might just have had one. It’s electric though.”

Jaycee wanted to make the decision, but she knew it wasn’t hers to make. She looked up and back at Derek who glanced down at her.

“We could try it if you’ve got an extension cord.”

And so, they spent the next hour not getting strawberry ice cream but finishing up removing the tree. Derek wasn’t upset about that. He hated leaving a job half-done especially since they might well not get back to it if they left.

When the last of the tree was next to the street, Jaycee exhaled and ran her wrist over her forehead. “Wow. I didn’t think we would ever get that thing done. Yikes. Trees are definitely not my forte.” She looked at her arms now scratched up and dirty. Lovely she was not.

“You know, that ice cream sure is going to be good after this,” Derek said, and she looked up at him.

“Oh, you don’t have to come. I mean…”

“Are you kidding? Me pass up strawberry ice cream? Not in this lifetime. I’ll just put this chainsaw up and load the other one in the truck.”

Somehow she stifled her sigh as she followed him. She wanted to protest, to tell him it was going to get late if he didn’t get back to Norfolk soon, to figure out some way to get him to leave.

“Here, you roll this up.” He unplugged the second chainsaw and flipped the cord into the yard. “I’ll get this.”

What could she do? After all, he was the boss.

By the time they were in his pickup heading to Luke and Sage’s, Jaycee could feel the heart attack coming on. Any second now, she was going to keel over and this would all be done. That, in fact, would be merciful. How could Derek West be going to meet her family? How? Her brain kept asking that question all the way out to Luke and Sage’s. The only way this could possibly be worse was if…

At that moment as she pointed to Luke’s driveway, Jaycee saw it, and what little air was left in the truck vanished completely.

“Wow. Looks like they’ve got a party going on,” Derek said, oblivious to what the silver minivan meant. How had they never gotten another one? The thing had to be older even than Luke’s pickup.

Jaycee tried to add up the years since Ryder had even been gone, but numbers and all sense dissipated from her, dissolving into knowing exactly what the presence of that van meant. When they bumped the final few yards into the drive, Jaycee braced herself for what was beyond Door #2. Her father and mother, and that was not good news.

The house was nothing spectacular, Derek thought as they climbed out. An old farmhouse out on an old farm. The paint was old, chipped white, and there was red trim on the windows. The house was nice enough though it had probably been built more than 70 years before. He followed Jaycee up the sidewalk that dipped and dodged over cracks that made the concrete look more like individual stones rather than one smooth surface.

At the back door, she barely even hesitated before simply opening the door and going in, which gave Derek pause as he remembered then that he was about to meet Jaycee’s sister. Sage. She sounded nice enough on the phone, and Luke had proven to be more than friendly on their short jaunt to the center and the pastor’s house. That was another option on their growing list.

“Knock, knock,” Jaycee said, unconsciously winding her arms across herself as she carefully stepped through the back mudroom toward the main part of the house. Lands, this was horrible. Showing up with Derek on her heels like this? Her mother was sure to have a hayday with this one. She was practically wound over herself by the time she got into the kitchen where her whole family minus Ryder was gathered.

“Jaycee!” Her father stood from the table and came from across the room to give her a hug, which she half-accepted.

“Hey, Dad. I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”

“Oh, Sage said we should come over for supper.” He smiled at her and then turned his attention to her shadow before holding out his hand. “And you must be Derek.”

“That I am, Sir.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” her father said. “We’ve heard a lot about you. All good things. Believe me.”

“That’s good to know.”

Dragging a forced smile onto her face, Jaycee knew she was on full display and almost surely failing this test miserably. “Mom.”

“Jaycee.” Standing beside the table, her mother tilted her head as if she was about to cry, and in six steps Jaycee was in her embrace. When the hug broke, her mother’s hands set about working to smooth out Jaycee’s hair. “Darling, you look like you’ve been attacked by a wolverine.”

Jaycee stepped back from her mother’s desperate attempt to fix her and readjusted her T-shirt. “We’ve been clearing out Mrs. Ellis’ tree.”

“We?” Her mother stopped, and her eyes lit with a light Jaycee couldn’t afford to say anything to try to douse right here with everyone watching and listening.

“Yeah, uh.” There was no way out of this. Jaycee glanced across the kitchen at Derek and her heart jerked like a stubborn mule going the other direction. How was this happening? How was he suddenly standing there in this kitchen with her family? She reached up and scratched at the back of her head. “Derek came in from Norfolk, and he helped me…”

“Oh, Derek,” her mother said with a beaming smile as she held out her hand to him. “Oh, I am not surprised that you are as amazing and wonderful off-screen as on.”

Dipping his head in embarrassment, Derek took a couple of steps toward her and shook her hand. “I’m just glad I could help.”

“Well, we’re so glad you could too.”

Everyone in the kitchen ceased to move for three whole seconds before Jaycee forced herself to try to salvage this wreck. “Oh, and, uh, Derek. This… hm. This is my sister, Sage.”

When Derek turned to greet Sage, Jaycee’s gaze slipped to the floor. It was a dead-sure bet that the comparisons had started with only one look, and it was an even surer bet how badly she would lose that comparison. Even though Sage had long-since stopped dressing like a California millionaire, she was still gorgeous enough to burn a retinae out if you looked at her directly. She always had been, and Jaycee knew that as well or better than anyone else.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Sage,” Derek said, taking a step over and shaking her hand. “And may I say, you’re as pretty in person as you sound on the phone.”

Sage giggled, and Luke moved a little closer to her side before putting his arm around her.

“Luke here has some mighty good taste in women,” Derek continued, and Sage giggled again and twirled one strand of her hair.

“We’re glad you could come,” Sage said, and sweet enveloped each word.

“I wouldn’t have missed it.”

That dragged Jaycee’s gaze back to the floor. Yep. It was true as it had always been—if Sage was in the room, no one else need bother to show up. Then Jaycee dragged her own ego up by the collar and shook it hard. Of course, Derek was going to notice Sage. He noticed every pretty girl who glanced his direction. She stifled the sigh, knowing it would say all kinds of bad things about her. Not to even mention that she had no claim on who he chose to notice or not notice.

“Hm. I think I’m going to go wash up a little,” Jaycee said, hooking her thumb over her shoulder. “That is if y’all don’t mind.”

“Oh, yeah. Of course,” Sage said, glancing over her direction though the rip to get her gaze off of Derek was obvious. “Go ahead. Supper will be ready in ten.”

Jaycee lifted her eyebrows. “Supper? I thought it was ice cream.”

“Oh, well, I couldn’t make you all scrounge around for food after you had worked all day, could I?”

“Oh. Uh. Okay.” Jaycee glanced over at Derek unsure about the protocol for inviting someone to a meal when they were standing in the middle of the kitchen with everyone else who was already invited. “Um.”

“Oh, and Derek,” Luke said, coming to life beside his wife and holding out his hand, “we’d love it if you’d join us. Sage makes the best beef and spinach lasagna you’ve ever tasted.”

“Well, how can I say no to that?”

Awkward. That was the best word to describe all of it. Throughout the meal, Jaycee did her best to keep her head down and blend as much as she could into the thin air around them. Thankfully between Sage and Luke, her parents and the kids, that wasn’t all too difficult. Derek, too, though he kept glancing over at her with a look she couldn’t quite read.

The truth was, she was getting a headache, and although one part of her said it might be all the sun and work, another part asked if it was just the little matter that she hadn’t been breathing for the last hour. The conversation swung in equal measure from the hurricane to the show and back again. She knew she should be paying attention to all of it, but doing so made her sick to her stomach. This had been a very bad idea. Derek West in Ridgemount? That was as bad of an idea as bad ideas got.

When supper was finally, mercifully over, Jaycee was grateful for the chance to do the dishes. At least she could finally escape from the table. Over by the sink, away from the conversation and him, she ran the water in the sink as Sage came over with a handful of glasses.

Her sister ducked just closer to her. “Wow. You were right, little sis. He is hot.”

Jaycee’s face heated in less than a heartbeat. “I never said that.”

“Then you should have because he is. And nice too. No wonder you’ve been trying so hard not to notice.”

“He’s my…” Jaycee said a little too loudly and then dragged her tone and pitch down five octaves. “He’s my boss. Okay? That’s it. End of story.”

Sage tilted her head. “Yeah. Good luck with that.”

When her sister went back over to the table, Jaycee dug into the chore of filling the dishwasher and scrubbing the pans. Then, as she came up to get more dishes, she realized her worst nightmare was actually happening. Derek was standing right there beside her with more dishes. She couldn’t look at him, and her hands were shaking so badly, she was sure to drop and bust something.

“Where do you want these?” he asked as if he had no clue he was about to send her coping mechanisms to the ER for cardiac arrest.

“Oh. Uh. Um. I guess here.” Jaycee turned to take the dishes from him, but he swept them from her grasp.

“I can do a few dishes,” he said with a laugh. “Do you want them in the dishwasher, or do you want to rinse them first?”

“Dishwasher,” Sage said, appearing at his shoulder. “I tell Luke all the time. Dishwashers are for washing dishes. You should let them do their job.”

Derek laughed and turned back for Jaycee. “Your sister is a smart woman.”

“Yeah,” Jaycee said as she dunked her hands in the water to scrub the lasagna pan, “so I’ve been told.”

Going around her, Derek started filling the dishwasher, and Jaycee was having a hard time keeping her heart on one steady rhythm because he kept passing back and forth behind her. And not just behind her, but right behind her so close she could practically feel him right there.

“God, please,” she begged under her breath. “This is hardly a good idea. He needs to go home. Just let him go home. Please.”

“So, Derek,” Luke said as he too came over to help with the dishes. Never in all her life had Jaycee had so much help with the task. “Where’re you planning to stay while you’re here?”

“Oh, well, the crew’s got some rooms in Norfolk.” The dishes he was transferring sounded like little bombs going off, and Jaycee jumped with each one.

“That’s going to be quite a hike every morning and night,” Luke said, and suddenly Jaycee began to sense how perilous this situation was. He wouldn’t really…. “You know, we’ve got a trundle bed under Jeremiah’s bed. You’re welcome to stay here if you want.”

The pan in her hand jumped into the sink and clattered there. Thankfully with all of the noise and chatter around her, the others didn’t seem to notice, but she sure did.

“Oh, I’d hate to put you all out,” Derek said.

“Put us out?” Sage asked as if that was not possible. “Don’t be silly. We’d love to have you.”

It would have been nice if Derek could have consulted Jaycee without her entire family being right there. He glanced down at her scrubbing the bread pan, but she gave absolutely no indication that she was even listening to the conversation. Hands on his beltline, he realized she probably didn’t care one way or the other, and although that was like a stab to the heart, he knew it was for the best. “If you’re sure you don’t mind…”

And so, after her parents left, Jaycee made the first excuse she could think of and left the rest of them in the living room, disappearing with a breath and a sigh into the guest bedroom. This was great. Just great. Now she was going to either be exiled to her room every night or forced to act ‘normal’ around everyone else for whole stretches of hours. Oh, yeah. This should be real easy.

The trundle wasn’t bad. In fact, they got out a piece of foam mattress to put on it that made it feel like a five-star hotel. This wouldn’t be bad at all, except for the fact that Jaycee had disappeared shortly after supper. Derek had hoped they would get to spend some time together, but then again, she had worked harder than six guys put together, so he couldn’t blame her for being tired.

As he lay there between the two boys who were both already asleep, Derek traced back through the day in his head, and although it hadn’t all gone quite the way he would have liked, he couldn’t begrudge any of it. Especially the simple pleasure of getting to be around her without the crews hovering. Monday would be hard going back to that reality, but tomorrow, they would have one more day to themselves, and as wrong as it probably was, he had every intention of making it a day to remember.

Sunday morning dawned sunshiny and bright. Jaycee was up early, sneaking around to get her outfit pressed. Traveling did very bad things to business suits, especially the silk kind. She was halfway finished with the skirt of the thing when Sage traipsed into the back laundry room behind her.

“Oh. Good morning,” Sage said more brightly than Jaycee’s racing, panicked heart could stand. She still hadn’t gotten over the fact that he and her family were now somehow residing under the same roof.

“Morning,” she mumbled, never so much as turning.

“I hope Macy didn’t keep you up last night. I don’t know what her problem is these days. We were doing so good in the sleeping through the night department there for a while.” Sage went over to the dryer and pulled clothes from it, tossed them onto the freezer and started sorting through them.

“Nah. I’m fine. You get used to noise being on the road all the time.” Jaycee tipped the ice blue of the skirt and jammed the iron down onto the waistband.

Without looking over, Sage picked up a small outfit and folded it. “Derek seems really nice.”

Sheer panic like she’d just been tossed off the side of a mountain jumped onto Jaycee and her gaze jerked up.

“What?” Sage asked with an innocent shrug. “He is.”

Seeing no way to stop her sister’s insistence and knowing Derek or Luke could walk into the kitchen and hear them at any moment, Jaycee went over to the door and closed it.

When she turned, Sage had lowered her gaze at her sister in complete disbelief. “I didn’t know this was top secret information.”

Out-of-control nerves pounced on Jaycee, and she wiped her hands on the back of her robe. “It’s not. I just… I don’t want him to get the wrong idea, that’s all.”

“The wrong idea? Or the right one?”

Praying she wouldn’t cry from the strain of keeping her emotions in check, Jaycee leveled a serious gaze at her sister. “Look, Sage. You don’t….” She had to take a breath or her heart was going to fly out of her chest. She glanced at the door, sure he could hear her even though he was probably still asleep. “You don’t have to tell me that he’s great. I know that. I work with the guy, remember? But it’s not like that, okay? It can’t be. He’s my boss, and I need this job.”

“Jayc…”

“No. Sage. I mean it. We’re not together, and we’re not getting together. Now, please. Try not to embarrass me over this. Okay? Please?”

Sage folded the last outfit. “Fine. I won’t embarrass you, but I’m not blind, Jaycee, and I think you’re fooling yourself about this ‘just a job’ thing.” With that, she picked up the clothes, went across the room, opened the door and strode out.

When she’d gotten out into the kitchen, Jaycee heard her bright voice, and she knew her sister wasn’t greeting her husband. One hand slid up and wrapped the robe just closer to her. She had to get it together and keep it that way. “Stop it, Jaycee. Stop being so ridiculous. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I can do this. I’m not five.”

Derek wondered where Jaycee was. Of course he understood her going to bed early, but it wasn’t like her to not be up before the sun. Sage came through the kitchen and told him to help himself to the coffeepot, so he was busy trying to figure out just how it worked when he heard the movement at the other side of the room. His gaze chanced up to it and slammed to a stop with one, single look. Jaycee. “Oh. Hey. I didn’t see you there.”

He managed a smile though it was all he could do to stop his gaze from traveling the length of her. The white satin robe shimmered in the sunlight, catching and holding in all the right places. However, before he could get too carried away, she shifted the blue cloth she held tightly in her arms up in front of her and held it there.

“Morning,” she said as if she couldn’t feel the earthquake that was rattling through him. “Uh. You need help with that?”

Only at the last possible second did he catch himself from asking What? He looked down at the coffeepot in his hand, wondering where it had come from. Then he whacked his good sense in the head and shook his as he set the thing back on the counter. “No. I think I can handle making coffee.”

“Oh,” she said, nodding. “Well, um, if you want more than coffee…” She came over by him, a move he really thought wasn’t too bright, seeing how he could hardly keep control of himself with her across the room much less right there next to him like that. When had she gotten so gorgeous, and why hadn’t he noticed before?

When she turned toward the cabinet, his gaze betrayed him and slipped down the side of her. He exhaled hard, blinked and swallowed without moving, knowing he had to get it together.

“There’s Cheerios and corn flakes,” she said, opening one cabinet and reaching up for the boxes. She set them on the counter. Then, crossing in front of him, she went to the other cabinet. “And here are the bowls.” She opened and then closed that door. Head down, she came back over beside him. “And somewhere here are the spoons.” One drawer, two.

His gaze fused to her and refused to let go.

“Oh, yeah. Here they are.” Somehow she clearly hadn’t noticed just how close she was to him when she looked up, but he felt the proximity like a lightning strike. “I… uh….” She shut that drawer and backed up as her gaze dropped between them. “The eggs and stuff are probably back in the…”

“Morning,” Luke said, striding in from the other door, and Derek’s gaze ripped from her like a shot.

“Oh. Morning.” He took one step backward and ran into the cabinet even as he wound his hands up under his arms and held them there, willing himself not to do anything completely stupid.

“I was just…. showing Derek…. around.” Jaycee never so much as looked up. “But you know this kitchen a whole lot better than I do. I’ll just go get ready.”

The brightness of Luke’s greeting fell as he watched her cross past him and head out the door. Then he looked back at Derek with a concerned question in his eyes.

Knowing if he let Luke even think that he’d be toast, Derek turned for the coffeemaker. “Sage said I could make the coffee, but I’ve never used one like this before.” Somehow, he managed to not drop the pot he picked back up, but how, he would never know.

Back in the safety of her room, Jaycee fought to breathe. How was she ever going to do this? Letting her emotions have that much rein was more than dangerous, it would be deadly to her job and her sanity and her life. “Come on, Jaycee. It’s just Derek. You have got to stop acting like you’re in middle school here.”

Although Derek had coached and lectured himself the entire morning, he couldn’t help but feel what it would be like if they were an actual couple when they headed to the church. Church. Two weeks in a row. That had to be some kind of record.

In his pressed, cobalt blue button down shirt and gray slacks, he looked the part of the husband as much as he ever had. However, that word was enough to bring a good dose of sanity back to his head and heart. He wasn’t husband material. He wasn’t even boyfriend material, and Jaycee of all people deserved for Mr. Right to be both.

“So you got plans after church?” he asked as he drove the black pickup, following Luke from the farm to the town.

“Oh. You know.” She shrugged. “I thought maybe we could go do the scouting. Katie and Elle and I talked about a few places.”

“Yeah, Luke was saying maybe we could do the pastor’s house. We went over, but he wasn’t there. Maybe we could check that out after services.”

Jaycee nodded but didn’t look over at him. “That would be great. Pastor Steve and his wife, Jane, are awesome people. They have a couple of kids now. They adopted them out of the foster system. Sage said they’re like 15 and 17 now. That’s so hard to believe. I remember when they were just little guys.”

“Sounds perfect. Maybe they could even help us out—on Saturdays and after school of course.”

“If they’re anything like their dad, I’d be careful suggesting it. Pastor Steve is great at the pulpit. Not so great with a hammer as I recall.” She laughed softly, which dragged Derek’s gaze her direction.

“Is it weird, being back, after being gone so long?”

Her shoulders came up even though she barely moved. “I think there’s a reason they say you can’t go home again.” She glanced over at him. “Lot of things change, and a lot of things stay the same.”

He wanted to ask which was which, but they had already made it to the little church on the far side of the parking lot that fronted the street. “Looks like the church could use a little help of its own.”

The blue tarp on the far side of the roof flapped up and down in the wind.

“Bet we could do the pastor’s and the church,” Derek said, putting the pickup into park. “From what I’ve seen neither one would be too big of a project.”

Jaycee nodded and started out, and for the life of him, Derek didn’t know why he wanted so badly to stop her so he could do this right. However, he didn’t stop her, and she slid out the other side. Closing his eyes, he gave himself one more mini-lecture that had nothing whatsoever to do with going into church. These were people she knew, people she cared about, and he wasn’t going to embarrass her here if there was any way he could help it.

The confused and curious glances came at them from every direction as Jaycee met Derek at the front of the pickup. In that outfit he looked every bit the big-time Hollywood star, and she knew she looked like the evil stepsister next to the prince. Heat rattled through her, but she pulled her chin up and stepped past him, bound for the large, heavy wooden door as Sage and Luke went through it, herding their children ahead of them. At that moment she remembered to the depths of her being what it was like to live in a small town with everyone knowing everyone else’s business, and if they didn’t know, they would fill in the gaps however they chose. This was going to be a nightmare she could do without living through.

With no other good options, she smiled at the man who held the door for her as she stepped into the coolness of the lobby. So many memories, so little space in her heart for all of them.

“Why, Jaycee Lawrence,” Mr. Marsh, her youth basketball coach said, coming over to shake her hand. He glanced behind her at Derek. “It is still Lawrence, isn’t it?”

“Oh. Yes. It is still Lawrence.” She shook the man’s hand and laughed softly. “Mr. Marsh, I’d like you to meet Derek West, my boss.” Good. Emphasize the word boss. That was good. “We’re here in town to film for the next couple of weeks.”

“Film? Well, you picked quite a time to decide to make a movie,” Mr. Marsh said, and Jaycee laughed again.

“Oh, no, we don’t make that kind of television,” Derek said, going into full-on charming Derek West mode. “We remodel houses, and it looks like you’ve got plenty around here to keep us busy for a while.”

“Houses…” the man started just as his wife stepped up. “Oh, hey, Sharon. These folks are from Hollywood. They’re going to be fixing up some of the hurricane damage for their TV show.”

“You know, I heard about that at the grocery store the other day,” Sharon said, smiling at them. “We thought that was just a cruel rumor somebody started to tease us.”

“It’s no rumor,” Jaycee said. “We’re here.”

Sharon appraised Derek. “I can see that.”

Inside the church, Derek fought to figure out what to do with himself. They followed the Bakers down the aisle to nearly the front and then into the bench. It was only when he was seated that he realized how little room there was in the bench. Somehow he had ended up in the middle of the church, by the aisle. That wasn’t exactly good for being inconspicuous, nor staging it so no one would notice how little he had ever done this church thing.

He cleared his throat and tugged at his collar as he glanced around. His attention travelled up to the crack in the plaster ceiling on the one side by the windows. The stained glass had clearly been covered through the storm, and the rest of the church looked like it probably had for 60 years or better. Next to him, Jaycee shifted just enough for his attention to swing to her, which he knew was dangerous and not smart at all. Why she had to look like that today and why he could feel the force field vibrating off of her, he had no idea, but neither were helping his sense of control at all.

When the service started, they stood together and sang a song. She held the book for him, but that was hardly necessary. He certainly wasn’t going to sing. There was a reading and then another, and then they sat once again. He noticed that down the row, Sage had one little girl and Luke the other, and somehow he also had his arm around his wife. One thing was for sure, Luke loved Sage. It was more than obvious every time he looked at her, and Derek could hardly blame him. Sage was beautiful.

Then his gaze slipped down to the woman right next to him, and he cleared his throat again at the thought that beauty ran in the family in spades. Wow, was it hard to get the idea of putting his arm around her out of his head. Worse, he couldn’t do a single thing to physically shake out of the crazy thoughts because it was a certain bet that everyone in the church had at least one eye on them. So he picked up his chin, laced his fingers together on his knees, and set his gaze on the preacher.

“Well,” the pastor said, “I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s been quite a week. Last week we spoke a bit about the storm, and today, somehow we are back on the beach. The storm is over, the aftershocks are not. One thing that has struck me so deeply this week is the way we have come together. Neighbor to help neighbor, friend to help friend, doing something collectively that none of us could have accomplished on our own.

“I’m reminded of the admonition of Paul from the second reading when he says, ‘Now I mean this, that each one of you is saying, ‘I am of Paul,’ and ‘I of Apollos,’ and ‘I of Cephas,’ and ‘I of Christ.’ Has Christ been divided? Paul was not crucified for you, was he? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?’ Paul is saying, ‘We’re not here to do this in competition. We’re a team, a team whose mission it is to spread the Gospel of Jesus. Get on the same team, people.’

“That’s what I’ve seen this week. People being on the same team. As a team, we are stronger. As a team, we put our selfish concerns aside and do what is best for the other person. I have watched people come from other parts of the country, leaving homes, families and jobs to come and help us. I have watched you all, leave the issues in your own homes to come and help your neighbors. This, I believe is the central message of the Gospel itself. It is a reflection of God’s Kingdom.

“Much like a marriage—the way each spouse gives into the relationship, so that together they are stronger than they could ever be apart. That is the holy relationship we are called to have with one another. Giving of ourselves, receiving that help from others—living in love.” He backed up slightly. “I don’t have more than that this week. Just thank you all, for embodying the spirit of the Gospel for me this week.”

Although Derek could count the number of times he’d been to church on one hand with a few fingers left over, he couldn’t be upset about the sermon. In fact, he perfectly understood the simple message. On each house they tackled, it was a team effort. Carpenters, plumbers, electricians—they each had their job, and each job made the others work. Without one, the others would not be able to complete the project on time, on budget, with anything near the perfection they often achieved. Yes, being a team, working as a team was woven into his blood, and he was glad of that because trying to do his job alone would never have worked.

He stood then, next to Jaycee, and his gaze slipped down to her once again. Breathing down the message, he smiled. “Thanks for Jaycee, God. I get it. That’s what I’m really feeling, isn’t it? Gratefulness for her always being the go-to person on my team.” Of course, it wasn’t love. It couldn’t be. Besides, what was love anyway? Just some trick of some hormones somewhere? Yes. She was on his team, and he was grateful for that. Maybe more grateful than he had ever realized.

Jaycee really didn’t know what came next when the service was over, and honestly, she didn’t want to know. Every second felt like a fight to hold herself in one piece, and that wasn’t getting any easier. She saw the looks they were getting, and truthfully, what she wanted to do was hide behind Derek and let him deflect them. But that wouldn’t help a thing. In fact, it would surely make things worse. In the lobby, they spoke with several people including the pastor who was thrilled with their ideas to patch up the church, the community center, and his house.

By the time they left the church, Jaycee was pretty sure their presence would be the talk of the whole town—eclipsing even the remnant discussions about the destruction. So, purposefully and mindful that they were on display, she walked with her shoulders back and her body well away from his to the pickup. The last thing she wanted was to give anyone any ideas about the professionalism of their relationship.

In the pickup, however, she let the exhale go very slowly as she closed her eyes for one brief moment of relief. It didn’t last. It couldn’t. She couldn’t let him know what his presence here was doing to her. So when he opened his door to get in, she sat up straighter and reached for the seatbelt as if completely oblivious to him and everything else.

“I think we should run over to the pastor’s house,” he said, getting settled, “just to take a look at those eaves and that roof.”

Jaycee clicked her seatbelt on. “You’re the boss.”

“Steve said you two might come by,” Jane, Pastor Steve’s wife, said when she opened the door to them. “Please come on in. He’s not back from church yet. It’s always something.”

Derek followed Jaycee in, his gaze taking in each bit and piece of the structure as it always did. The hallway was adequate, small and rather narrow. It was painted in a very light grayish-white and had very few decorations on the walls. Stylish and modern it was not. Yet, he reminded himself, this was the pastor’s house and so the austerity fit the circumstance.

“Please have a seat,” Jane said when they crossed into the tiny living area. It wasn’t crammed mostly because the furniture was so sparse. “Pete, can you please come move this model?”

On the small coffee table lay pieces of a model airplane.

“I’m sorry,” Jane said, straightening the magazines by one of the chairs. “Steve and the boys have been on an airplane kick lately. Peter?”

At that moment a young man, in his mid-teens appeared from the other hallway. He had dark features and jet black hair. Thin but not wan, he came to the door quietly but took no more than one step into the room.

“Can you pick this up?” she asked again. “So our guests don’t have to navigate around it?”

“Oh, that’s fine,” Derek said as the young man came over slowly and knelt to replace the pieces in the box. “It’s a P-51, right?”

The young man looked up in surprise. “Yeah.”

“Bi, right? World War II?”

“One of the last ones the Navy flew.”

“Oh, no,” Jane said in dismay. “You too?”

“Me too? Are you kidding?” Derek picked up one of the back rudders. “My dad and I used to spend hours with these things. Amazing what a little glue and the right parts can make.”

The front door banged, and Pastor Steve came rushing into the living room, trailed by his older son. Both of them had much darker skin than their parents, not to mention darker hair and differently shaped features.

“I’m so sorry, you two,” the pastor said, holding his attaché in one hand and putting out the other to Derek who stood to shake his hand. “Always more to do than I can ever get done.”

“That’s no problem, Sir. We’ve got plenty of time.”

“Oh, well, then if you don’t mind, I’ll just go put this in my office.”

“Don’t mind at all. Take your time. Catch your breath. We’re enjoying looking at Pete’s project here.”

Pete looked up from the table and beamed with pride.

“Pete’s project?” the other young man asked.

“Yes, my project. It’s mine too, you know?” Pete said defensively.

“Boys,” Jane said. “Can we not do this here?”

Derek knew an awkward situation when he saw it, so he stuck his hand out to the older boy. “Derek West.”

A surprised second and the young man took the proffered hand. “Aidan Walker.”

“Nice to meet you, Aidan. So you’re a model guy too then?”

“I’ve done a few.” The young man’s dark eyes ducked for the floor. “Dad and I started doing them when I was about eight. We’ve mostly done cars though.”

Derek wound his hands up by his arms. “Sounds familiar. I spent many a night at my mom’s table gluing and setting.” He grinned over to Jane. “She liked them about as much as your mom seems to.”

“It’s not…” Jane began, but Derek put up his hand.

“No need to explain. I completely understand.” He laughed. “We just all have different priorities sometimes.”

She smiled back.

“I’m sorry about that.” Pastor Steve came back in the room, looking about as disheveled as before. He had graying hair that was a little too long and thinning rapidly and rumpled clothing that looked at least a couple decades old. “We could go take a look outside now if you like.”

Behind him, Derek felt Jaycee stand. He glanced back, but his gaze never touched hers. He was learning, the hard way, to keep his gaze and mind away from her if at all possible. “You mind if the guys come with us? I’d love to have a few more eyeballs and brains on this thing.”

“Oh. Absolutely,” the pastor said with a surprised shake of his head. “That would be wonderful. Let’s go.”

And so Jaycee trooped out behind the men. She hadn’t brought anything to write anything down with, and that was going to be an issue. Her memory was going to have to suffice, and with the unscheduled trips to la-la land it was taking these days, that did not inspire confidence.

They went first around the rectory where they found the remains of a ripped up wooden fence that had once ringed the backyard, a tree that had been stripped of its branches, and a side wall and roof that looked like it had gone 10 rounds with the Heavyweight Champion and got KO’d.

“Wow,” Derek said as he examined the job. “Looks like this took quite a beating.”

“We had the windows boarded up, so that was a blessing,” the pastor said.

“You got a ladder?” Derek asked, gazing up at the structure.

“I’ll get it,” Aidan said and took off around the structure.

Jaycee smiled to herself. Derek West. He could inspire ice sculptures to put on sunscreen.

By the time they left their visit with the pastor, it was nearly one o’clock.

“That might turn out to be quite the project,” Derek said, glancing over at her. “I was thinking patching the roof on the pastor’s, but honestly, I don’t think that roof was in very good shape to begin with. I think we’re going to just have to reroof the whole thing. I’m a little concerned about the inside of the office too. We’re going to have to at least check out that water spot. And I’m really worried about the walls inside the center too. The cracks in those wall panels make me think structural damage behind it. It doesn’t look like whoever built it put a lot of money into it. Pretty cheap materials all the way around. Might be an issue matching that tin too. I’m sure whatever color it was, the sun has made it a different color now. I don’t think the church will be too bad. At least it didn’t seem to affect the inside of it except that one area of plaster. I just hope we can get that done reasonably, but we could easily have been looking at some major renovations in there if it hadn’t held up so well.”

He glanced over at her again because she hadn’t said anything. “So what else besides those were you thinking?”

Dragging in a breath, she pulled herself up straight. “Well, I had two in mind other than those. One is for a girl who I went to school with. We went over to her place when Katie and Elle were here the other day.”

With a serious nod, he took the last turn into the Bakers’ driveway. One look told him her parents had come as well.

She glanced that direction and seemed to have to gather her wits before she continued. “Real sad story. Her husband was killed overseas. Military. Somehow her house didn’t get boarded up, and a tree went through a window on the second story. When we went through, it was pretty much a wreck, wind and water damage everywhere. She’s living with her mom and two kids now, but it would be nice to fix that one up.”

Derek parked, shut the thing off and turned to her. “And…?”

“And,” Jaycee said, remembering how her heart had lurched when she caught sight of Ms. P at the church earlier. She had no idea if the woman even remembered her, but she remembered Ms. P. Always willing to help others out even when she had next to nothing. “There’s this lady I used to know here. She comes from the part of town that’s pretty rundown. Honestly, I’m not even sure how much of her house is worth saving, but it’s all she has.”

“What did Katie and Elle think?”

Her head swam with the thought.

“Did they think it was doable?” he asked again.

“I…” Jaycee lifted her gaze to his but couldn’t hold it there. “I didn’t take them over there.”

“You didn’t… why not? I thought you all were scouting.”

Jaycee nodded very slowly. “Ridgemount is hardly sleek modern meets up-and-coming chic as it is. Over there.” She shrugged. “All the old stories about the south and some people really struggling. Well, they’re true. People over there don’t live in houses that get remodeled. They have old wiring and plumbing that only works some of the time.” Now that she was telling the story, she had to push herself to keep going. “We don’t really have homeless people here, but there are some that are about a half-step from it. Back when I was in high school, we did a meal every other week so people would have one good one. I don’t think things have changed much for the better since I’ve been gone.”

Derek seemed to absorb the information rather than just hear it.

“The thing is, I know Ms. P.” Jaycee swung her gaze over to his so he knew she was serious. “She’s helping half the neighborhood, probably has folks sleeping on every inch of her floors. It’s not like we can just go in and get to work. Worse than that though, I don’t even know if her house is worth working on. And if we do, then it’s going to be the best house on the block, which I’m not even sure would be a good thing.”

“So you think we could maybe go at least talk to her?” he finally asked. “See if she might be interested?”

This shrug had less enthusiasm. “I don’t want to show up over there like she’s some charity case.”

He nodded again, but darker this time. “Okay. Well, let’s keep that one on the list, and we’ll see what happens.”

“Hey! You two gonna sit out here all afternoon, or are we going to eat?” Luke called from the back porch.

With a wave to his host, Derek smiled. “Sounds like we’re being paged.”

“Yeah.”

He couldn’t get over how tired she sounded. Just outright exhausted. And all they had done was go to church and walk around a few buildings. As they headed inside, he put himself just a half-step behind her and put his hand at her back in case she really did pass out like she looked like she might. At the door, he swung around her and pulled open the screen. With a duck of her head, she went through, and he followed.

This whole thing was taking a frightening toll on her, and Derek promised himself as they headed inside that he was going to do everything he could to make the coming weeks as easy on her as possible.

Chapter 17

The meal was delicious as Derek was learning all of Sage’s meals were. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had an actual home-cooked meal, but as they ate, he realized, it had been far too long.

“You know, I was thinking,” Luke said as the conversation bounced from family member to family member. “After lunch, what do you say we get that basketball goal rehung?”

Across the table Andrew’s eyes widened to UFO size. “Really?” His excitement came out as a breath. By far the quietest of the twins, it was clear basketball was the subject that brought Andrew out of his shell.

Luke shrugged. “You’ve been working so hard helping out, I think it’s the least I can do. Besides, it’s been awful quiet around here without the thumping of you dribbling all the time.” Picking up his spoon, Luke glanced across the table at his sister-in-law. “Maybe your Aunt Jaycee can show you some moves. She used to be pretty good, I hear.”

Derek’s gaze snapped over to her, but her head was down mostly because everyone was now looking at her as well.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Jaycee said before hiding behind the drink she took. “It’s been a long time.”

“Dad says you were really good,” Andrew said, and her gaze jumped over to his. “He said you got a scholarship and everything.”

She smiled softly and put her gaze on her fork. “That was a long time ago.”

“Not that long,” Luke said as if his voice could both catch her and coax her.

Finally she shook her head quickly, took a breath, and looked over at Andrew. “Maybe we can shoot a little, play horse or something.”

“Really?” And the UFOs were back.

“Sure. Why not?”

Of course, Derek got conned into helping Luke reset the goal. It had been both bent and broken in the storm. So it was nearly four by the time they had created a new backboard in Luke’s shop as well as rebending and welding the rim back into the correct position.

Up on the ladder on the concrete pad that led into the little garage, Derek ran the last of the screws into the backboard before sending the tape measure to the ground to measure the front and back once more. “Ten feet exactly. That ought to be perfect.”

He shook the goal once to make sure it was sturdy and then climbed down and found Jaycee standing off to the side, once again in her T-shirt and jeans. It didn’t look like basketball attire, but he wasn’t complaining.

“Now remember, you two,” Luke said, retrieving the ball from the garage. “This is a friendly game of basketball.”

Jaycee snarled her face at him. “Of course it is. What do you think, I’m going to rough up my nephew?”

“Just checking,” Luke said with a grin as he bounced the ball over to Andrew. “Don’t go easy on her just ‘cause she’s a girl, bud. She really hates that.”

“Hey. Uh. Hello. I’m standing right here,” she said, waving to herself. She lifted her chin to Andrew. “Okay, big guy. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

Thinking it safer, Derek took the drill and the ladder off the concrete, far enough away that no one would hurt him or the tools. He didn’t do basketball. Never had. However, as he watched the two of them, he began to get a real sense of just how much she had played. Sure, he had heard what amounted to rumors, but as she took a shot from far outside any range he would dare try from and sank it without touching any piece of the goal on the way down, he knew they were far more than rumors.

“Wow!” Jeremiah said from where he was watching. “She’s even better than you, Drew!”

Andrew didn’t look overly pleased with that comment, and he took the ball and went to shoot. His shot didn’t go in, and frustration slid onto his face and could almost be seen coming out his ears.

“You know, that’s not half-bad,” Jaycee said, going over to him with the ball she had retrieved. “But let’s see if we can work on your form a little. You’ve got the power. You just need to learn to kiss it.”

“Kiss it?” Andrew asked in horror, and Derek laughed with the others.

“I don’t mean like smooch the thing. Yeuch,” Jaycee said, making a face. “Kissing? Eww. That’s for weirdos and girls.” She smiled a smile Derek hadn’t seen on that beautiful face in quite a while. “No, I mean, you’ve got to find your touch. It’s not just about power. It’s about how you shoot. See?” She sent another one up that looked like a feather dropping through the net.

“How do you do that?” Andrew asked, the awe back.

“Come here. I’ll show you.”

Derek took that cue to go and put the ladder and drill back. Luke’s shop was very nice, not overly big but quite organized. Derek was pretty sure he could walk in and build anything he might want to without feeling at all deprived. Tools away, he snapped the light off and headed back out, hearing the ball bouncing rhythmically on the concrete.

The afternoon sun was hotter than he was used to, and the humidity was climbing. So instead of going right back out to the basketball clinic, he headed inside to grab some water. Standing at the sink, he could see them at the side of the house, and he took a long moment just to watch. Luke stood just off the court, watching as Jaycee and Andrew worked at perfecting his shooting.

“So you got the thing fixed, huh?” Sage asked, coming in from the doorway, and Derek spun to her as if he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to be.

He smiled not wholly sure she was happy about that. “Is that a bad thing?”

She shrugged, came over to the window, and looked out at them. “Probably not. Gives him something to do.” She shook her head. “Never have seen what Jaycee and him think is so fascinating about that game, but who am I to say anything?”

Going over to the far cabinet, she sorted through some mail. Derek watched her, wondering if he should do what he’d been thinking. With one more glance outside, he decided there might never be a better chance.

“So Jaycee was pretty good then?” he asked, taking a drink so it both looked and sounded nonchalant.

“What?” Sage’s gaze came up and over to his.

“Jaycee. She was pretty good at basketball.”

That seemed to deflate Sage. “Yeah. She was good.” She nodded as her gaze went to the letters in her hand she clearly didn’t see. “Real good. Like amazing good.” Her eyes came up as if they were searching for memories she had forgotten, and she smiled. “I remember the day she got the scholarship. Full ride to North Carolina. Chapel Hill. Wow. She was over-the-moon, and Mom and Dad were too. I think if they could’ve thrown her a parade, they would have. Everybody in town was just Jaycee this and Jaycee that. She was the biggest star these parts had seen in a long time before that.”

Strange how that story and the reality Derek had always lived with her around felt so very different. “So what happened? She didn’t go?”

“Oh, she went all right. Loved it. Couldn’t get enough of it.” Sage smiled that same wistful smile once again. “We’d talk on the phone all the time, and she was as happy as I’d ever heard her. Mom and Dad too. They got season tickets, cost them more than putting her through school probably would have, but they didn’t care. Their little girl. Their pride and joy. Yep. She was some kind of amazing.” Her gaze fell to her hands as her thoughts continued on with the story forgetting to come out of her her mouth. A moment and she looked up at him. “Has she never told you about that?”

“No. We don’t really talk much about that kind of stuff,” he said, really wishing now that they did. However, when Sage’s head went down, he sensed he was losing this tether to pieces of Jaycee he had always felt but had never fully understood, and he couldn’t let that happen. “But I’d like to know. I mean, you know, unless it’s some big family secret or something.”

Sage looked up at him then, appraising him. “Okay, but I didn’t tell you this because she’d probably kill me if she knew I did.” With a sigh, she finally continued, “She played five games with North Carolina. Came off the bench, not even for long in any of them. I’m sure she could tell you how many minutes and seconds she played. I don’t know. I just know it wasn’t nearly long enough. There was a home game one night, and Mom and Dad had gone to it. In the third quarter, she went up for a rebound-thingy, and when she came down, I don’t know. She still doesn’t really know what happened. Either she came down on someone else’s foot, or she got pushed or… I don’t know. But it was like her whole knee just gave out.

“They called me on their way to the hospital. I was studying for a mid-term the next morning in Wilmington, and I just remember thinking I had to get there. I had to see her and make sure she was okay.” The story faded once again.

He waited until he could take it no longer. “And was she?”

Tipping her head, Sage laughed the breath. “Okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Not really. She had torn like the tendons in her knee. Like three of them or something. I remember walking into that hospital room, and Mom was crying. Dad just hugged me, and Jayc… she wouldn’t even look at me, and somehow I knew things would never be the same again.”

“But she came back. She got better.”

The tilt of Sage’s head said she wasn’t so sure about that. “Not because she wanted to. I think if she could have died right there, she would have. The scholarship was gone, and so was her love of the game and her belief in herself. Mostly that, I think. She dropped out of school, which to begin with was okay because she had like a bunch of surgeries and stuff to fix her knee. I lost count of how many, and then there was the rehab. Mom would drive her into Wilmington like three times a week, not that they could do much about more than her knee. She’d pretty much given up on herself and on life.”

“But eventually,” Derek said, forgetting the water and only wanting to get to the part of the story where Jaycee was once again whole and happy.

“Yeah, well, eventually Luke practically forced her to rejoin the human race.” Sage shook her head. “Kid you not, I think if he hadn’t made it such an issue about her not quitting and giving up completely, I think she’d still be sitting there at Mom and Dad’s, wondering how something so bad could happen so fast.”

Derek scratched the side of his head and then his jaw, trying to fit all the pieces together.

“She still limps sometimes,” Sage said and then shrugged. “Not that anybody would probably ever notice. And not that she would ever want them to.”

A dagger the size of a truck went through his heart. How many times had he seen her limping? How many times had she said she was fine? More than he wanted to admit.

“But it was okay,” Sage said as if her voice was a down pillow. “She went back to school and got her TV degree, and that’s how she found you.” Her gaze plummeted to the floor and held there for a second, and then she looked up at him. “I know it’s not my place to say this, but she’s my sister and I love her so much.”

He nodded his consent for her to say it—whatever it was she wasn’t saying.

“Will you take care of her for me? You know, when you’re out there fixing up all those houses and stuff? Because I know my sister, and I know she doesn’t always know when to say when.”

This time, the trust she was placing in him to even make the request went even deeper and settled there. “You got it.”

“That was a good one,” Jaycee said as pride at her nephew coursed through her. He really did have some real raw talent and good instincts for the game. “Okay. Now let’s work on your dribbling.” She took the ball and bent, sending it through her legs one way and then the other without even looking at it. “Handling the ball is one of the biggest keys of the game especially if you aren’t seven-foot-five.” She went around her back without missing a beat even as she watched Andrew’s eyes grow bigger. “If you can dribble, in control.” She went through her legs again without so much as watching the ball. “You’ve got so much better chance of throwing off the defense.”

She had forgotten, forgotten how good this felt, how free, how amazing. The scars still said she would never play again, but maybe, here for this one more moment in time, maybe they didn’t have the final say. “You need to get as good with your left as you are with your right.”

Dribbling first one way and around her leg and then the other, she let her mind, heart, and body remember. “You don’t learn it in a few hours up town in the gym. You learn it out here. Playing when everyone else has gone home. Playing because you love it. But once you learn…” She smiled. “You never forget.”

Picking up the dribble, she flipped it to her nephew. “Now you try.”

Derek stood on the porch and watched her. In control and making it look so easy. His mind slipped around all that Sage had told him, and he plunked down the three steps and strode over to where Luke stood on the grass. “She’s not half-bad,” he said, jerking his head toward Jaycee.

Luke looked at him in horrified surprise. “Oh, please don’t let her hear you say that. She’ll come unglued and kill us both.” He raised his eyebrows. “You think I’m kidding, I’m not.”

Laughing, Derek shook his head. “Oh, I believe you.” His grin fell just a touch. “Believe me, I believe you.” He watched Jaycee with Andrew a few more seconds. “She’s something else. I’m not sure what I’d do without her. Probably would’ve have lost my mind by now.”

With a once over of Derek, Luke looked back at the game taking shape. “She loves that job. Best thing that ever happened to her.”

“The best?” Derek asked, asking many other questions he didn’t put into words.

Another long look and Luke let his gaze drop to his feet. “Took me a long time to quit worrying about her every single time she called Sage. Especially after she went to Indiana for school. There was a time I thought we might not ever even see her again.”

Thinking it best to nod and just let Luke talk, that’s what Derek did.

A second and Luke sniffed. “She was my best friend growing up. We did everything together, and then Sage and I got together, and things changed after that.” He shook his head. “I always kind of felt like I let her down, you know? Like if I was a better friend, if I had just gone that night to that game, something.” He kicked a toe into the dirt. “But you live and stuff happens, you know?” A soft smile traced across his face. “When Sage got the call that Jaycee was going to work for you…” He shook his head. “I can’t really tell you how relieved we were. Finally, she’d found something to be excited about again, to live for, you know?”

Then he laughed softly. “Not that she’d probably ever tell you that, but that job pretty much pulled her back from the edge.”

The ball bounced over to them, and Luke ran three steps to retrieve it. Coming over to get it, Jaycee looked at Derek and worry went through her eyes.

“Do you want to go?” she asked. “We can if you want to.”

He wondered then in that split-second how many times she had done that—dropped whatever she was doing because he needed her to, or wanted her to. Suddenly the enormity of the importance she placed on working for him dropped into his consciousness and settled on top of his heart. “No. Just have fun. We can go in a little while.”

She looked like she wanted to argue, but Luke came back and tossed her the ball. One more look and she dribbled it back to her waiting nephew.

“Y’all are going somewhere?” Luke asked, winding his arms across his chest.

“We were thinking about going to visit Ms…. P?” Derek wasn’t quite sure of the name.

“Oh?” That dragged a surprised and concerned look out of Luke.

“Yeah. Jaycee thought we might think about working on her house.”

When Luke said nothing, Derek glanced at him. “What do you think of that idea? Jaycee really wanted to, but she sounded kind of… iffy about it.”

Luke tipped his head. “I can see why. Ms. P is an amazing woman, but she’s nobody’s charity case.”

“We’re not trying…”

However, Luke held up his hand. “I know that. I’m just saying, Ms. P might have other ideas if you don’t come at that one just right.” Watching his son and sister-in-law, Luke squinted. “This whole thing’s been…” He put his head down and shook it slowly before pulling his gaze up. “Well, it’s been hell on everyone to be honest with you.” Still shaking his head, he seemed to float away from the conversation. “People… just… I don’t know. We’re just not used to needing help, to really needing help around here.” He glanced back at the house and closed his eyes as his head came forward.

Derek watched him, needing to say it if for no other reason than to make sure Luke knew. “Jaycee was completely freaking out. Every time Sage called…”

A second of surprise and Luke’s gaze fell again. “She wanted to leave, for us to take the kids…”

It was the very point Derek had been stuck on for two weeks or better. “Why didn’t you? Just get in the car and drive.”

“And go where?” Luke asked. “Both our families are here. They were staying, not to even mention they needed me out there with the department. There wasn’t a hotel room to be had in 300 miles, and I wasn’t about to put Sage on the road and say, ‘Good luck’ although a big part of me wanted to.” Luke exhaled. “I’ve thought about it a million times since we decided, but every time, I come back to they couldn’t leave. There was no place to go.”

Once again the ball came bouncing over to them, and Luke ran to retrieve it. Jaycee came too but stopped when Luke headed off. She looked at her watch and pulled her fingers through her ponytail.

“You know, if we’re going, we really probably should go now,” she said. “Unless you’ve decided not to.”

Derek looked at her as softness for this amazing woman came over him. “I’m ready any time you are.”

All the way into and through town, Derek let his mind wind around and through all he now understood about her. The long nights, the absolute insistence on perfection. Never letting him down, never taking a break. That job pulled her back from the edge. He glanced over at her, wondering how close she had come to giving up, wondering how close he had come to never even having her in his life. The very thought made him have to breathe it down slowly because he felt sick to his stomach the second it went through his mind.

He shifted his long legs at the gas pedal as he fought to get his mind onto the coming task. Charity case. That was the last thing he wanted to make any of the people they helped feel like, and yet…

“Turn here,” Jaycee said, and he glanced at her again.

It occurred to him how little she had looked at him in the last couple of days. It was like they were on the same planet but a trillion miles apart.

The houses shrank around them so it felt like going down a rabbit hole.

“I think it’s on this street,” Jaycee said. “Right here.”

He turned right.

“Yeah, that one. At the end.”

As he let his gaze slide around to the tiny houses that were hardly prize winners but now looked as if someone had actually tried to demolish them, he realized what they were up against. Broken out windows, ripped up roofs, shredded trees. Moreover, these were not houses you put granite countertops and tiled-out, surround showers in. He was sure most if not all of them had fundamental structural issues, wiring issues, and more. Worse, he had no way of knowing if they would even consent to have these houses filmed. He wasn’t sure he would, much less that Brent would agree to run any footage they came away with.

Sunday evening and people were milling about in the tiny front yards, with kids running helter-skelter. Some of the fences that bordered the small patches of grass were twisted and mauled; others had somehow weathered the storm but looked much worse for the wear. All were in need of repair probably even before the storm had arrived.

“This one,” she said, pointing to the white-with-black-trim house at the end of the block. It faced north on what would have been a cul-de-sac had the street wrapped, which it didn’t. It simply ended at a sign that proclaimed, “Dead End” written in red spray paint, clinging to a post that was no longer even upright.

Parking at the curb, Derek shut off the truck and looked at the challenge before him. Daunting didn’t begin to cover it. He nodded at the house and looked over at her. “You ready?”

Well, now that you mention it, no, Jaycee thought, looking at the house and remembering the curious stares of the people they had passed on their way here. However, she had brought him this far, they couldn’t just turn around and leave now. “When you are.”

On either side, they climbed out, and she met him at the front glad she had decided not to change. She would have looked like a real estate agent, or CPS in her normal work attire. With a prayer, she led him up to the front door, reached up and knocked three times. That dragged more reluctance out of her, and she wound one arm across herself as she waited. He was standing right at her back, so close she could feel the heat from him. She couldn’t turn around. She couldn’t look at him. What was she going to do if…?

The squeak of the dilapidated screen door yanked her gaze up, and she dragged in a breath when she realized it wasn’t Ms. P.

“Can I help you folks?” the young black man asked, eyeing them suspiciously but being polite just the same.

“Oh. Uh. Is this where Ms. P lives?” Jaycee asked, fighting not to let the panic sound in her voice. What if she’d brought them to the wrong house?

“Uh. Yeah. Hang tight.” He let the screen door go back closed, and she heard him yell into the house.

Jaycee swallowed, fighting not to freak out. Why had she thought this was a good idea again? She was sure Derek was ready to run, and she wasn’t far from that feeling herself.

The door squeaked again, and Ms. P, older and far more wrinkled but just as rotund appeared. She took one look at them and confusion traced down her face. “Can I help you folks?”

The breath stung Jaycee’s lungs, and it was all she could do not to run. This was a very bad idea. “Hi. Ms. P. Uh, it’s…”

At just that moment understanding flipped a light switch on in the old woman’s eyes, and she gasped. “Why, Jaycee Lawrence, as I live and breathe, is that you?”

Her smile felt better than she realized it would. “It is.”

“Oh, my goodness, child! Come here, and let me look at you!” Ms. P took hold of her arms and shook her softly. “Well, you haven’t changed a bit! You’re just as pretty as you always were. Come here, and give Ms. P some loves!”

And with that, she was engulfed in the wonderful, unrestrained kindness of the woman who had taught her so much about life.

“Well, now this is a surprise.”

Of course it was, Jaycee wasn’t sure she’d been to the woman’s house twice in her whole life, and now she showed up out of the clear blue. Then Ms. P seemed to realize Jaycee wasn’t alone. Her gaze traveled up to him and then back to Jaycee.

“And who, may I ask, is this handsome young man?”

“Derek West,” he said, putting out his hand before Jaycee had a chance to make the introduction.

“Well, come here, sugar. Any friend of Jaycee’s is a friend of mine.”

Jaycee had to squelch the laugh at the surprise on Derek’s face when he too was engulfed in one of Ms. P’s famous hugs.

“Oh, well. It’s nice to meet you too, Ma’am,” he said awkwardly as his frame was pulled down into the hug. He patted Ms. P’s back as his gaze slid to Jaycee, and she had to duck behind her hand to keep from laughing at the startled face he made.

When Ms. P let him go, Jaycee prayed over the coming few minutes. She hadn’t done such a thing in a long time, but she knew God had a special place in His heart for this woman, and He wanted what was best for her—even if she wasn’t going to be too crazy about accepting it.

“Well, what brings the two of you out to these parts?” She glanced back into the house. “I’d invite you in, but it’s been a little more crazy than normal around here these last couple of weeks. I’m just trying to keep one foot on the ground at this point.”

Jaycee nodded her understanding of that. “Actually, that’s what we came to talk to you about.”

“Oh? How’s that?” Ms. P tipped her head, and her gaze went from Jaycee to Derek and back again.

“Well,” Jaycee said, “we’re looking for some houses around town to work on from the hurricane.”

“I don’t… I don’t understand.”

Derek took a half-step forward. “We… Uh. I have this television show. It’s about fixing up houses, remodeling them,” he explained. “And when the hurricane hit, and Jaycee was coming anyway, we decided to use some of our resources to try to help people get back on their feet around here—or at least help their houses get back on their feet.”

Confusion that looked nearly painful sliced across Ms. P’s face. “Are you needing help? Employees? People to work?”

“We might,” Derek said, and Jaycee looked up at him in confusion. Help? They didn’t need any help. They had two full crews coming in the next two days. “In fact, Pastor Steve and I’ve been talking about things, and he wants to set up a kitchen at the community center for making sandwiches and to-go meals for those who have come into town to help out, especially for our crews when they show up to work. With only one tiny restaurant in town, meals might really get to be a real issue for us.”

“Oh.” The light got brighter in Ms. P’s eyes, and Jaycee wound her lips under her teeth to keep from smiling. He was good. “So you’re needing help with the kitchen then?”

“Well, yes, hopefully in a few days when we get the center sturdy and sound again, we can get that set up and going,” Derek said. He looked at her then as if he had just realized something. “So, is that something you’d be interested in helping with?”

“Oh, absolutely,” she said with a wide smile. “Absolutely. I’ve been wanting to help out ever since that monster came through here, but I don’t really have the funds to do very much, but these old hands are good sandwich makers. Yes, they are.” She held them up for his inspection, and her grin was toothy and filled with happiness as she let out a boisterous laugh.

Derek heaved a relieved exhale. “That’s so great. Pastor Steve said he thought you might consider helping us out.”

“Consider it? Well, Sir, you have yourself a deal,” she said firmly. “Just tell me when to be there, and you’ve got yourself a sandwich maker as long as you need one.”

“Great.” He nodded and glanced over at Jaycee but only that. “And there is one other little thing…”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“Well, I can’t ask you to do all this volunteer work and not pay you for it. We might be here for a month or more. That’s a lot of sandwiches.”

She waved her hand at him. “My pleasure. I don’t need paid to help people out. That’s why the Good Lord put me here on this earth.”

He nodded again and wound his arms up at his chest. “Great. Good. I’m so glad you feel that way because that’s exactly how I feel about things too.”

Her smile fell, and she shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

“Well.” He tipped his head as if thinking through his strategy slowly although Jaycee knew exactly where he was going with this. “I agree with you. I think we’re all put here for a reason, here on this earth like you say.” His head bobbed to the side twice. “Like you were put here to make sandwiches, and I was put here to fix up houses. That’s what I do. It’s what I’m good at.”

The confusion didn’t leave her face, but she was listening.

“And since you’re helping me and my crew out, well, we want to help you out too.”

“Me?” She glanced at Jaycee. “How could you help me?”

A breath and Jaycee stepped into the gap. “We’d like to help you fix up your house.”

“My…?” Ms. P’s eyes went wide, and then she deflated. “Oh, no. I can’t let you… you don’t… I don’t need no payment. I’ll help for free. Really.”

“I appreciate that,” Derek said. “I really and truly do, but I also know how generous you’ve been with others through all of this, and I’d really like to do something for you. Besides if you’re up there making our sandwiches, you won’t have time to make the repairs to your house.”

“But you… No, Mr. West. I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking,” Jaycee said. “It was totally our idea. Please, Ms. P. We’d love to do this for you.”

Tears welled up into the woman’s eyes then. “But this old house ain’t worth putting the effort in. It was old before Gabriel. Now, it’s pretty much got one foot in the grave.”

Derek jerked his head back. “Eh. I love a good challenge. Tell you what, why don’t you show us what things we might need to work on? I’ll decide if it’s worth trying.”

She looked from one to the other, open-mouthed, trying to figure out a way to protest.

“Really,” Jaycee said. “We’re just looking at what projects we want to take on right now. This one might not even make the list.”

A second, two to think it through and finally Ms. P sighed. “It’s a real mess.”

“Well, so’s pretty much everything else we’ve looked at so far,” Derek said. “Besides, I’ve been doing construction my whole life, I think I can handle it.”

“Okay,” she said, but instead of turning for the inside, she pointed to the little fence that started at the side of the house. “Most of the damage is to the back over here.”

When Jaycee looked at Derek after Ms. P had started out, he winked at her and raised his eyebrows. She pursed her lips into a smile and shook her head. Yes, he was thoroughly amazing in his ability to talk people into anything. They followed the woman through the gate and found a side yard filled with debris, but what they found at the back of the house was utter destruction. The wooden siding was beaten beyond recognition. The two windows were covered with shredded plastic that blew in the wind. Glass lay all over the cracked and broken concrete footing. How the roof had even held on, Jaycee had no idea. She sucked in a hard breath at just how bad the house really was.

Her gaze slipped down the length of the other houses, and all of them looked much like this one did. It wasn’t hard to see exactly which direction Gabriel had come from.

“Wow,” Derek breathed, and Jaycee could tell he was questioning the wisdom of this idea.

“I know.” Ms. P shook her head. “I called about the windows last week, but with just my Social Security, I’d have to give them about three-month’s worth for one window. And I don’t know how to put them in even if I got them.”

Derek kicked at the glass with his boot to get closer to examine the busted out window and frame.

“Oh. Be careful, Mr. West. The shards are still there,” Ms. P said.

“I can see that,” he said, pulling at the plastic gently. “They’ll need frames too.”

That comment was directed at Jaycee though Ms. P clearly didn’t realize it.

“Frames too. Oh, my. That will be really expensive, Mr. West. Maybe you should find another house to work on. The pastor’s house got a bunch of shingles ripped off of it.”

He dusted off his hands and stepped back. “Yep. He’s on our list too.”

The list was growing, and he hadn’t even see the worst one yet. Rachel’s was going to take his breath away.

Coming back over to them, he put his hands on his beltline. “Well, you’re definitely on our list, Ms. P. I’ve got my crews coming in over the next couple of days. Jaycee here will be in touch with you on the details on everything, but I think this is definitely one we’d like to do.”

“Oh, Mr. West, really? I don’t even know what to say. With the winter coming and everything, I didn’t know what I was going to do.”

“Well.” He nodded. “Hopefully we won’t have to worry about the winter.”

“Wow,” Derek said as they drove out of the neighborhood.

“Yeah,” Jaycee agreed with that one, simple syllable. “I just wish we could help all of them.”

His gaze slid down the rows of houses, all of which needed something. “Starting to understand why Luke felt so overwhelmed with it all.” When he looked at her, she was looking at him, and her eyes spoke of quiet hope and deep faith in him.

“We’ll do what we can. I’m just so…” Her gaze slipped out the window. “Impressed.”

That sent him backward. “Impressed? With what?”

She smiled though she didn’t look at him for a second. When she did, her eyes were soft and held a touch of sadness. “You.” Her gaze dropped to her lap. “You didn’t have to do this, you know? I mean, this place, it’s not all quartz and crystal.”

He shifted. “You think that’s what I’m in it for? Quartz and crystal?”

Her shrug lifted only one shoulder. “I don’t mean that bad. I mean, I get it, you know? Fixing up people’s houses. Making masterpieces, but these…” Picking up her gaze, it went once again out the window, and Derek really wished she would quit doing that. A second and she shook her head. “Thank you.”

Wow. Those words went far, far deeper than he ever thought two words could. He had no idea what to do with them, so he did the only thing he could think to do. “So do you think we could take a quick look at the other one? The two story?”

With only that, she was digging out her phone. “We talked to Rachel a little bit, but I forgot to call her back. She probably thinks we forgot or changed our minds.” Jaycee flipped her hair to the side, waited a beat, and then bent over the conversation. “Rachel? Hey. This is Jaycee.”

By the time they made it back to Luke and Sage’s, Derek’s head was swimming with the details. He’d never done multiple projects at once. It felt like trying to collect a million marbles on a merry-go-round.

“So what’re you thinking?” Jaycee asked as they walked up to the back door.

He ran his hand down his face even as he reached past her to open the door. “Well, Rachel’s is going to take the longest. Seven weeks even if we get everything to go our way. The mold issues alone almost require the whole thing to be gutted.”

They walked into the kitchen where the light was on, but no one was around. It was nearly ten o’clock, and the others had clearly already finished with supper. He felt bad about that, mostly since Jaycee had missed a meal with her family. However, she didn’t seem to notice.

“Carpets and the sheetrock, insulation,” he said. “It’s all ruined. We’ll be lucky to salvage her stuff at this point.”

Going to the refrigerator, Jaycee pulled out a casserole dish and held it up. “Turkey pot pie?”

He shrugged. “Sounds good to me.” Without asking, he went to work getting out the two plates and the silverware. “I really think we should put Caleb’s crew on that one. He knows what he’s doing, and I don’t have to be right there on top of him the whole time. I think Alex’s guys can start on the center first, get it up and ready to go. Feeding the guys really is going to be an issue.” He was back at the cabinet now, waiting for her to finish microwaving the meal, and he leaned there, crossing his ankles and arms.

Next to him as he ticked through the schedules and issues, Jaycee leaned on the counter as well, arms crossed, head down, memorizing every detail. “Do you think it’s best to do the others one at a time, rather than trying to tackle them all at once? The center, Pastor Steve’s, Ms. P’s, the church?” She lifted her gaze to his face, not really having realized just how close she was to him, and although it should have felt awkward and strange, the only thing it really felt was right. Standing here with him, figuring out how to right the world that had toppled off center.

Safe, she thought, really letting herself feel it. She felt so incredibly safe with him right there. Safe in a way she hadn’t felt since she’d heard the word Gabriel.

They weren’t even touching, but he felt closer than any human ever had. He would take a punch for her. In fact, he had, first letting her come here and then angling to be able to come here to help her. She knew that as well as anybody even though she hadn’t been in on the actual conversations. He had surely worked his magic with Brent. And the only real reason he was standing here in her sister’s kitchen was because he wanted to be here. If he hadn’t, he would have been in Buffalo, or Boise, or Borneo. Not here, trying to figure out how to do the impossible. The possibility that it had anything to do with her was only a fleeting thought. What she mostly saw was just how much he wanted to help those she loved so very, very much, and that was enough to make her more grateful for him than she had ever been before.

Handsome yes. Smart absolutely. But what she mostly saw now was his incredibly deep and soft heart for helping people, for helping them become whole again so they could have the life they’d always only dreamed of having. Somehow, she was now seeing that in ways she had never fully appreciated.

“Actually, I was thinking the center and the pastor’s and then the church,” he said. “I don’t think the church is going to take too…”

At that moment, Luke came into the room at the doorway opposite from their conversation. “Oh. Hey. I didn’t hear y’all come in.”

Instantly, Jaycee straightened and headed for the microwave to check on their meal.

“Oh, so you found supper?” Luke asked.

“We did. I hope you don’t mind.” Jaycee stuck a spoon in the concoction and took a taste. “This is ready,” she said to Derek. “Do we have water?”

“Oh.” With that, he was scrambling again.

“So did y’all make it over to Ms. P’s?” Luke asked.

“We did,” Derek said, filling the first glass. “That one’s going to be a real challenge. The siding’s wrecked, not to even mention the windows.”

Luke nodded. “I’ve been thinking about going over there to see if I could help, but I wasn’t sure what she’d think about that.”

Derek laughed. “Well, she wasn’t exactly excited about the idea at first.”

“But then Derek worked his magic,” Jaycee said, coming over next to him at the sink and putting her hand on his back as she passed behind him to get the salt and pepper shakers from the cabinet.

Nothing in him was prepared for that touch, and the glass in his hand jumped dangerously when he felt it brush across him. He swallowed and gasped just as the breath escaped from him in a soft whoosh and a shutter quaked through the deepest parts of him. In the next breath, he willed himself to get a grip. She was just judging the distance between them, hoping he didn’t step back on her foot. It wasn’t like it meant anything, even though, somehow, it felt like it meant everything. Come on, West. This is insane. It’s just Jaycee.

“Magic?” Luke asked.

Jaycee laughed. “Oh, you know. Mr. Silver-Tongue over here. He could talk an Eskimo into buying a swimsuit.”

Knowing he had better not let them know how rocked his world was becoming, Derek laughed. “Bikini or one-piece?” He came over to the table and set the glasses down.

Splaying her hands upward, Jaycee sighed. “Exhibit A.”

Luke laughed as he sat down with them. “So she’s okay with it then? With you guys helping her?”

“Well, ‘okay’ might be stretching it a bit,” Derek said, picking up his fork and then noticing Jaycee sitting there waiting. Quickly he replaced the fork and bent his head.

“Dear Lord,” Jaycee said, “thank You for this day. Thank You for Your guidance and love. We ask You to be with us, bless this food, and guide our every step tomorrow. Amen.”

“Amen,” Derek breathed. Coming back from the momentary trance, he picked up his fork again. “Honestly, the windows on that one are going to be the least of our worries.”

“Oh? How’s that?” Luke asked, and Derek went on to explain why and how the structure of that house was in jeopardy. And that was just what he had seen on the outside. He was sure the inside would challenge even the best of remodelers. “It’s going to be hard to know where to quit with that one.”

Luke nodded seriously. “It all needs work?”

Derek nodded. “Yep. Pretty much.” He looked at his plate. “This is really good. Maybe we should get Sage to help Ms. P with the sandwiches.”

Lifting his eyebrows, Luke tipped his head. “Sandwiches?”

Jaycee shook her head at Derek. “Poor Eskimos. They never had a prayer.”

Thankfully after supper, it was less escaping to her room than truly needing to get some sleep. The clock was winding hard up to eleven, and they would have to be up and going by six. So, Jaycee helped with the few dishes and then begged out of the conversation. In her room she grabbed her stuff to take a shower, knowing that once again tomorrow she would have to somehow be Jaycee Lawrence again. Strange how these days she just got used to one existence about the time she got thrown into the next.

Seven weeks. It wasn’t an eternity, but it felt like it well could be.

Chapter 18

Monday morning, Jaycee was up long before the sun. There were too many things to do today that she couldn’t justify waiting for dawn. Trying to strike a balance between professional and practical, she put on black slacks and her black boots and her button-down, fitted ice-blue broadcloth shirt. It would probably be hopelessly wrinkled by the time she got back, but at least now she looked put together.

At the mirror, she wound the holder up and around her ponytail. Who had time to worry about hair and trivial things like that? She put on a few touches of make-up and decided that was good enough. She wouldn’t be in front of the cameras anyway.

Grabbing up her notebook, her tablet and pens, she shoved them all into her small attaché and heaved a sigh. Back to work.

The beep of the alarm on his cell phone dragged Derek up from the nice dream he was having. He didn’t really remember what it was about more how it made him feel. At peace. Hopeful. Loved. Then he woke up and realized he was going to be late if he didn’t get a move on.

With the boys still asleep in their beds above him, he quietly rolled out of his and grabbed his things to go to the bathroom. The cozy feeling of being at home was wreaking havoc with his normally driven nature, and he wasn’t at all sure that was a good thing. It felt dangerous, like he might decide to chuck it all and just stay here forever.

Down the hall he went, yawning and wiping the sleep from his eyes, and when he heard what he knew to be the sisters talking in the kitchen, he smiled. Yes, he was having Jaycee issues, but all the same, he couldn’t wait to see her. As crazy as that sounded, it was the absolute truth.

“Luke said you two were looking pretty chummy in the kitchen last night,” Sage said, thankfully modulating her voice down both for the quiet of the early morning and for any chance that they might be overheard.

Jaycee put her head back in consternation. “Sage, can you drop this already? Please.”

“What? Is it so wrong for me to want my sister to have something amazing with an amazing guy?”

“He’s Derek West, Sage. Derek West.”

“So?” Her sister shrugged. “He’s also a guy who’s crazy about you.”

Fighting those voices in her own head and heart were hard enough, trying to fight them with Sage saying them out loud was quickly becoming impossible. “No. I don’t think you’re getting this, okay? Derek West doesn’t date girls like me. He doesn’t even notice girls like me. He dates like supermodels and women who look like Barbie on a good day.”

She took a sip of the coffee she had made. It tasted like a mixture of tar and motor oil. Great. Now she couldn’t even make coffee. Taking it over, she dumped it into the sink and turned. “Don’t drink that. It’s awful.”

Pushing past her sister, she picked up the coffeepot and dumped its contents into the sink as well before refilling the thing. If this was any indication of how her day was going to be, she wasn’t sure she wanted to live it. Dumping in the coffee grounds, she started over.

“What if you’re wrong?” Sage asked, and Jaycee really wanted to throw the thing at her. “What if Luke is right and Derek really does like you?”

“Of course he likes me. If he didn’t, I would’ve been fired a long time ago.”

“Not like that, Jayc.” Sage exhaled. “I don’t get it. You like him, and he really likes you. What is…?”

“Stop, Sage. Please. Okay? Just stop.” She put her hands up to her eyes and squeezed them to get her heart to stop whispering exactly what her sister was saying. “I can’t like him. Okay? I can’t. It’s too complicated.”

“Because you work for him?”

“Because he’s Derek West. That’s why.”

“Somebody talking about me?” Derek asked, striding into the room as he rolled up the sleeves of his blue plaid shirt. One look over at him, and Jaycee couldn’t breathe.

There was nowhere to go, and with the cabinet her only escape, she took it with a vengeance, turning and letting her hands snap into look-busy-at-all-costs mode. “We were just wondering what you’d want for breakfast. I didn’t know if you’d want eggs or just cereal. I tried to make the coffee, but you know me, coffee is not my best feature.”

“Oh, yeah? What is?”

With a soft, amused smile, he came over to the cabinet right by her to retrieve a cup. As he opened the door next to her, his other hand came over to rest on the small of her back. Warm and strong, it nearly made Jaycee hyperventilate. She was fighting to hold onto anything that resembled reality, but it wasn’t working at all.

“Her determination,” Sage said from the other side of him, and Jaycee’s face heated to a million degrees. She wanted to tell her sister to shut up, but there was no way to do that because he was standing right there between them. “And how loyal she is, and how if she decides to help you, she’ll go through a wall to do it.”

His eyes fell onto her, and he smiled. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

The attraction Derek felt for her was getting harder to deny every new moment he got to spend in her presence so that by the time they met in the parking lot of the community center, he was nearly certain the others were going to notice. Knowing that wouldn’t be good for either of them, he drilled into the work and being the point person for five major projects that were all going to be rolling at the same time.

“Okay. I want Elle and Alex’s crew to help us with the center, the church, Pastor Steve’s and Ms. P’s,” he said. “Katie and Caleb’s bunch will take Rachel’s. The first thing will be to visit each site and come up with a preliminary supplies list and scope-of-work list for each project. We’ll also need a cost breakdown and any permits or paperwork pulled.”

“There won’t be much paperwork,” Jaycee said, shading her eyes. “City hall isn’t exactly up and running at the moment, not that they ever cared much for that kind of stuff to begin with.”

Derek looked over at her, and his mouth went dry because all his brain could think was how amazing she looked in that outfit. “O. Kay. Uh, county? Surely there’s something. Somebody. Some building inspector or something.”

“Not much.” She wound her arms in front of her, and he remembered Sage’s words from the kitchen. Her determination and how loyal she is, and how if she decides to help you, she’ll go through a wall to do it. “But I can check into it. See if there’s anything we need. My dad’s a friend of the mayor. It shouldn’t be a problem.”

Her dad was probably a friend of everyone in town, but Derek chose not to say that. “Okay, great. Then Jaycee will get to work on the paperwork. Everyone else, I just want you to take today and come up with a plan for each place. What does it need, what do we need for it, where do we get what we need for it, that kind of thing.” At that moment, Derek noticed the old green and white pickup pull up to the curb that was a good fifty yards away. More hands. That was good news. “Hey, Luke!” he called when the driver got out, and Luke lifted his chin in acknowledgement. “Can you come give us a hand?”

When Luke walked up, it was clear how intimidated he was by the gathering, and Derek wished he had thought to warn his new friend about this when they had talked about him lending them a hand the night before. Introductions went around, “And this is Luke, Jaycee’s brother-in-law. He’s on the fire department here in Ridgemount and he’s been right in the thick of things ever since Gabriel came through. We’ve talked about it, and he’s going to be helping us out while we’re here.”

Surprise jumped on Jaycee. They hadn’t either one bothered to mention that to her. However, she stuffed her surprise down under her thankfulness that Luke would be around to help them not run over anyone’s feelings on any of the projects. She was already concerned. Derek might think he wasn’t all quartz and crystal, but these people were, and she had the sneaking suspicion that their bias might show up without any of them realizing it.

“Okay,” Derek said in full control of all of it, and she smiled at her own silly schoolgirl fantasies of the morning. Yes. It was just as she had told Sage. He was Derek West, and being his anything other than right-hand-girl would never be any more than a nice fantasy. He didn’t need her, nor did he want her like that, and she knew it as well as anyone else ever would. “Let’s get this thing started.”

The paperwork such that it wasn’t was handled in a matter of two hours with one meeting with the mayor and another with each homeowner for permission to work and the contract with the television station. By noon, they all met back at the center to go over the project details. Sure enough, Rachel’s looked like a near demolition, but Caleb was talking to her about what she might like since it was going to take so much anyway.

Thankfully Luke was taking the lead on Ms. P’s, which was starting to look like a side job compared to some of the others, and Alex’s crew would tackle the other three. Cliff joined them to map out logistics for the camera crew. With one camera crew and five projects, he was concerned about continuity and getting enough footage for the specials as well Jaycee knew he should be. This whole thing was overwhelming.

“I’d like to get some initial stand-ups at each place,” Cliff said. “With you and the homeowners if possible.”

Derek nodded. “Okay. That’s going to take at least three different set-ups. Is that going to be a problem?”

Cliff laughed softly. “This whole thing is a problem, but we’ll do what we can.”

“Great. Then let’s get to it.”

Scripts were scribbled, names, dates of the structures, outlines of just what they would do to each and how. Jaycee was surprised Derek could even read her notes by the time they got to Ms. P’s. He was with the make-up crew once again because the humidity wasn’t playing fair with them.

“Did you guys go in?” Luke asked, coming up next to her and ducking so the others wouldn’t be able to hear.

Without looking up, Jaycee shook her head. “We just went around the back. Why?”

He stood there, hands on his beltline, saying nothing.

She looked up at him, and her face twisted in frustration. “Come on, Luke. I don’t have time to play 20 Questions here.”

One long exhale and he took hold of her arm. “Come here.”

“Luke. Hello. What…? I’m…”

But he pulled her forward with his hand on her elbow, through the snaking camera cables and people. At the door, he knocked and waited.

“Why can’t you just…?” But before she got the question out, the door opened.

Luke smiled at Ms. P who appeared, looking positively shell-shocked.

“Well, Luke. It sure is nice to see a friendly face,” she said clearly shaken.

Jaycee wanted to ask if Luke was the only friendly face she saw, but she stuffed that.

“I was just wondering if we could get a drink,” Luke said as if he was asking for the secret key to Fort Knox.

Ms. P glanced out over the others and then back at them. “I guess that would be okay.”

With a nod, Luke went through the door on her push, and Jaycee followed him in. The dimness of the light was difficult to adjust to, and she blinked, hoping she wouldn’t trip over anything on the way to wherever it was they were going. However, as her eyes adjusted, the reality of the situation began to snake over her. It wasn’t that the space was dirty, but a feeling of being in a dark, damp hole permeated all of it.

“The kitchen’s right through there,” Ms. P said. “But you know that.”

“I can get it,” Luke said, guiding Jaycee ahead of him all-but pushing her forward. Into the kitchen they went where she noticed the rags of sun-bleached curtains, or more to the point what used to be curtains, hanging at the windows. The counters were worn through in multiple places. The sink had a whole chunk out of the front of it.

She had known, and yet she hadn’t. With wide, horrified eyes, she blinked at Luke. “Did you…?”

When he looked down at her, it was with a look meant to make her stop talking, which she did, swallowing the words and concern with one gulp. He went over to the sink and got a drink just as he had said he would, but she knew this little excursion had nothing to do with him being thirsty. He wanted her to see, to understand what they were truly up against.

“We came when her husband died,” Luke said over his cup. “We wanted to do something then.”

Jaycee let out a sigh. “Why do the words rock soup keep running through my head?”

His gaze jumped to her. “You remember that?”

“I’ve never forgotten it.”

“Me either.”

“So what’re you thinking?” she asked. “What do we do?”

“Well, it’s my project. Derek put me in charge, but I really think it would be nice to do something for her beyond the outside windows, siding, and whatever they’re going to do with that foundation.”

Jaycee crossed her arms and nodded. “I’m listening.”

However, Luke shook his head. “I’m not a designer.” His gaze asked her to understand what he wasn’t saying.

She jerked her gaze around the room. This room alone would take hours.

“We could tell her it’s for the show,” Luke said. “She wouldn’t have to know the difference.”

“When?” Jaycee asked, knowing they were going to do it but wondering how in the world they would ever pull it off.

Luke shrugged. “When the others leave? Do you think Derek would help us?”

She was pretty sure she knew the answer to that question. “I can ask him.”

“Is everything all right in here?” Ms. P asked, coming in from the living area.

“Of course,” Jaycee said, going over to her. “How are you? With all the cameras and everything?”

Ms. P shrugged sheepishly. “I never thought I’d be a celebrity. It’s just me and my little house.”

Suddenly questions Jaycee had never really thought to ask flowed through her. “So how long have you lived here anyway?”

“It was her parents’ house,” Jaycee said, filling Derek in on the details of their quasi-plan as they sat on what passed for a lawn outside Ms. P’s eating the slices of ham and cheese and a box of crackers someone had brought from the grocery store which was only now starting to restock. “The house has been in the family for years, and it looks like it hasn’t been touched since her parents’ parents lived there. I think it was her mom’s side that’s from here. Her dad came from Mississippi, I think. Not sure they ever had more than a nickel to their name.”

Derek sat, taking it all in, his mind spinning with so much information he could hardly keep it all straight.

“They raised three kids here, somehow put them through college. The kids only come back once in a blue moon, but they don’t stay. Not that I don’t understand that.” Jaycee ate a bite of cheese as she consulted her notes again. “I didn’t get a lot of time to look around, but I’m guessing we’ve got electrical issues, the lights weren’t even working in most of the house. The whole thing needs new windows, not just the back of it. We could do that with the show. But there’s so much more that needs done. Luke and I talked, and we’re willing to make the money thing work between us.”

That slammed Derek to a stop, and he sat forward. “Whoa. Wait. You’re going to pay for this?”

When her gaze came up to his, he saw not only the determination but also a challenge.

“Ms. P taught me to care about people. She’s given her life for the people in this town,” Jaycee said firmly. “If I can give back a tiny percent of what she’s given me…”

He couldn’t stop the smile. Her sister was right. “Okay, I’m in. When do we start this side project?”

“Well, the others leave at six, so Luke and I thought we could work a few hours each night.”

“The three of us?” Derek asked, knowing the answer.

“Or just the two of us if we have to,” Jaycee said.

“You and Luke?”

She nodded. “If that’s what it takes.”

Derek exhaled and laughed. “Of course I’m going to help you. I’ve seen you with a hammer. I wouldn’t do that to Luke.”

“Ha. Ha.”

Pulling forward, he laughed again. “Seriously. I’d like the house to still be standing when we’re done here.”

With a shake of her head, she crumpled the cheese wrapper and threw it at him. “Tell me why I put up with you again.”

He dusted his hands off. “I don’t know. Must be my charm and charisma.”

“And that big head of yours. Don’t forget that big head.”

Laughing, he reached down for her hand. “Oh, yeah, that too.” He pulled her up to her feet, and she went about dusting the cracker crumbs and dust off her though the touch of her hand stayed on his long after she let go. A few more hours each night working with her? Derek couldn’t be unhappy about that. There were far, far worse things in the world.

That evening after supper, they sat around the kitchen table, mapping out their plans for Ms. P’s inside project. There were definite challenges, such as the fact that they wouldn’t be able to leave it a construction site even while they were working on it. Not to mention getting the supplies and materials while they were all working full days on the other projects.

However, as Derek listened to them each talk about the woman, he began to understand their determination in making this work now. Any other time, she surely wouldn’t have accepted the offer, but if she thought the show was responsible for all of it, that changed things just enough so that they might be able to make a real difference for her.

When the discussion broke up at quarter-to-ten, Luke and Sage went into the living room where the boys were watching the Sox play.

“Man, I haven’t seen a baseball game since that night in Gary,” Jaycee said, standing and stretching. “I used to watch every game when I was younger. Crazy how life works sometimes, huh?.”

“So what do you say we watch a little bit?” Derek asked, really hoping she would say yes. Of course, it was just a game on the television, no big deal really. Still he hoped…

“I don’t know. I’m really beat.”

“Fifteen minutes,” he said with a glance at the clock. “It’s not even ten yet.”

She put her head back. “I’m really starting to feel for those Eskimos.”

He laughed. “Come on. Just a little bit. I promise it won’t kill you.”

Jaycee knew the game was a bad idea. First of all, she really was tired. Second of all, when they got into the living room, she realized the only seats left other than the floor were on the couch. Figuring she would head off any misinterpretation of their relationship before it had a chance to get started, she lay down on the couch rather than sitting, being sure to stretch out so there wasn’t an inch left for him.

“Oh, yeah,” she said, half-teasing, “you’re right. Much better.”

Glaring down at her, he lifted one eyebrow before he shrugged. “Okay. If that’s how you want it.”

And then, before she could protest, he came over the top of her reaching for the back of the couch, coming down until he was laying right behind her so she was suddenly somehow enfolded in his frame.

“Wait. What?” she asked, pulling herself up to sitting. At least that’s where she was going, but she never quite made it that far.

“No.” He grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back down. “Now, come on. This was your idea.”

“It was not,” she protested, twisting to get out of his grasp.

“Shh,” he said, pointing past her at the television. “You’re being a little distracting, don’t you think?”

She glared at him. “Me? I’m not the one…”

“Shh,” he said more gently this time. “Watch.” He put his arm under her head, cradling her next to him as he lowered his mouth to her ear. “It’s okay. Really.”

Okay might have been pushing it like 3,000 miles at least, but Jaycee knew this whole thing was becoming a spectacle for the others in the room. The way she figured it as she forced herself grow still though stiff so as not to melt into his shadow any more than necessary, she would watch a few minutes and then remind them all that she was tired and needed to go to bed. That’s what she should have done to begin with. She should’ve known he would pull something like this. Not that it meant anything of course. He was just being Derek—funny, ironic, always-do-what-you-don’t-expect-him-to Derek. The guy she could so fall in love with if things were different. If things were….

Derek felt her breathing slow and then fall into a soft rhythm as her body relaxed. Carefully he angled his gaze down to look at her, and softness touched his heart. No. It wasn’t real, but it was nice. And she felt really good resting against him. Letting the world and all her determination go for one minute, she looked as peaceful as he had ever seen her.

On the television, the Red Sox got a base hit. He sniffed softly as his eyes slid closed. Somehow he hadn’t realized just how tired he was. The fight to keep his eyes open became more and more challenging with each swing of the bat, and then, completely outside of his control, his eyes closed, and he simply forgot to open them again.

“Derek.” His name and the shake of his shoulder hardly dented the sleep clinging to him. “Hey. Derek.”

Pushing the sleep and dreams away, he looked up and then almost jumped when he realized who it was and where he was. He looked around in surprise. “Is the game over?”

Luke smiled. “Yeah. We’re headed to bed.”

“Oh. Okay.” Derek fought to get the mixed-up tangle of reality and dreams to make some sense. Then he looked down at her, still sleeping in his arms, and he remembered that at least one part of it hadn’t been a dream. She was amazing and so incredibly beautiful.

“G’night,” Luke said, hitting the last of the lights on his way out.

“Night,” Derek said softly because he didn’t want to scare her. However, when Luke was gone and he was left there, holding her in the darkness, the feelings he had been holding so tightly threatened to completely overwhelm him. Lest he give in to what they were telling him, he put his hand on her shoulder and shook her gently. “Jayc? Hey. Jaycee? Time to wake up, girl.”

Not much was registering in the fog of Jaycee’s brain. Mostly she knew she hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep.

“Jayc?”

Wanting only to prolong the glorious sleep she was enjoying, she wound her hand up and around until her fingers found the bridge of his nose. Her mother had taught her this trick when she was very young and couldn’t fall asleep. It worked every time. Rubbing in rhythmic circles, she had almost gone back to sleep herself when he shook his head away from her effort.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Trying to put you back to sleep,” she murmured, already drifting back out. “Shhhh.”

“Well, it’s not working.” He batted at her hand with his. “Stop that. It’s annoying.”

Twisting so she was now flat on her back looking up at him, she arched her eyebrow up even as she abandoned the effort to get him to go back to sleep. “Hey now, are you calling me annoying?”

At that moment just how close he was registered, and unreality took over. As she watched him looking down at her, hovering there in the darkness, his eyes turned completely liquid, and all of her relaxed with a breath she’d never felt herself take.

“Something like that,” he whispered, his gaze taking in all of her at once. Flitting down and coming back up, asking something he never actually said.

It was a dream. She knew it then. It had to be. That was really the only logical explanation for any of this. And because it was only a dream, she knew he would never have to know how perfectly she wanted to be with him just like this. So when he dipped toward her, she didn’t think to stop him, didn’t think to protest. Why should she? She wanted this. She wanted him. In fact, she’d wanted to feel his lips, to taste them on hers ever since he’d walked into the interview that very first day. And now, somehow he was here, and this dream was better than it had ever been.

Soft and gentle, warm and tender, his lips brushed across hers, and suddenly she was floating and flying, drifting and weightless, and not caring one bit if she ever came back down again. A breath of a moment as his lips left hers, and then he came back to her again. Less hesitant. More determined. A statement not a question. Drinking her in, giving as much as taking. Holding her and moving her…

And then like a snap of the waking from a dream, she realized this was in fact no dream.

“Derek,” she gasped, and with a hard nod and a jolt, he went backward even as she sat up. In the darkness, it was nearly impossible for her to get her bearings, but she had to. Her breathing came in hard, panting gasps as she stood, wobbling on unsteady legs. The chill of the room as her body left his was unfathomable.

“Jaycee?” he asked, following her up. “Jayc?” His hand brushed hers as he reached for her in the darkness.

“I’m…” She dodged his grasp, backing up and away from him, from whatever had just happened as she retrieved her hand, pressing it to her chest. “I’m really tired. I’d better get to bed.”

“Jaycee, wait. Please. Can we talk about this?”

But what in the world was she going to say? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m so completely in love with you it hurts. Please don’t ever leave me? That was the only clear thing she could hear any part of her saying. But she couldn’t say that. Not to him. “I’m really… I’ve got to get to bed.”

“Jayc? Please…”

“No, Derek,” and then finally, reality resumed its hold on her. “It’s okay. It was nothing. I know. I get it. I’ve got to get some sleep.” And with that, she fled down the pitch black hallway, praying she could get to her room before she did or said something she would surely regret even more than she already did the last few minutes.

When she got into the room, she closed the door softly behind her even as she fought to breathe. “Oh, no. What have I done?”

Shaken all the way into the middle of him, Derek stood there, swaying in the darkness as the chill of the night seeped into his spirit. He wondered even as she left what he would’ve said if she had stayed. What would he say if she listened to his pleas to stay and talk? What could he say? That he wanted to be with her more than life itself? That she made him feel things he had sworn he never would again? That he loved her? Loved?

He slammed hard into that word, like hitting a solid brick wall with a sledgehammer for the first time.

Even he knew he didn’t know what that word meant. Not really. Not like other people did.

Not to even mention that he was putting her in a completely unwinnable position. What was he thinking? She couldn’t date him. She couldn’t fall in love with him. What if they went out and the whole thing went south? What if they couldn’t make it work? What if he was himself, the guy who never stayed more than a few hours like he had always been, and he messed everything up? Which he would eventually, that much was inevitable. Then what? She needed her job, probably more than he needed his. He couldn’t do that that to her.

Putting his hands up to his head and raking them there, he closed his eyes. What had he done?

~*~

The next morning Jaycee got up, got dressed and ready without so much as thinking about the night before. It wasn’t real, and she was better off if she just remembered to remember that.

Going out to the dark kitchen, she flipped on the light and went to fill the coffeemaker. He would want coffee, and it needed to be ready when he got here.

Derek awoke to the questions he had fallen asleep swimming in. What would he say to her? What would she say back? Would she tell him what he already knew—that he was a jerk who didn’t deserve to live for taking advantage of her like that? Would she tell Sage… or Luke?

He gulped once at that thought. He knew Luke was protective, and that her best friend wouldn’t take kindly to his current houseguest toying with her emotions and sanity. Knowing he had just messed up the best thing to ever happen to him, he rolled out of bed. It was going to be a long day.

“So?” Sage asked when she made it to the kitchen, her voice all light and bubbles.

“So.” Jaycee kept her back to her sister as she watched the dark liquid slowly drip into the glass pot.

Coming over, Sage sidled up right next to her. “How’s everything?”

Jaycee knew by the sweet tone of excitement in her sister’s voice that she knew more than she needed to. “Fine. You?”

Sage frowned and then sighed long and hard. “That’s all I get? Fine?”

With a shrug, Jaycee reached into the cabinet. “That’s about all I’ve got.”

The two of them were talking, presumably about him by the fact that they were whispering when Derek got to the kitchen, and he had to take a hard breath to remember to act normal. “Morning,” he said, striding in, knowing today that getting anywhere near her was a ticket to a disaster.

“Morning,” Jaycee said, half-turning but not really looking at him. “I think the coffee is almost ready. You want cereal?”

Why did she sound so normal but look so incredible? “Uh, yeah. Sure, but I can get it.”

“It’s cereal,” she said. “I think I can make cereal.” Then she seemed to pull that up short with a swallow. “What kind do you want?”

She was moving now, around the kitchen, gathering the things for his breakfast. She hadn’t done that for months and months though at first she did it all the time. He wasn’t sure he liked this new way of being.

“Cheerios?” he asked with a glance at Sage. They needed to talk but presumably not with her sister right there.

“Cheerios it is. Just have a seat. You’ve got a long day coming up.”

She had no idea.

Jaycee was stuck in look-busy-and-talk mode. She knew it, and she was afraid they knew it too. But the nerves wouldn’t let her relax. He looked amazing this morning, just like he did every morning. Only this morning her treacherous body kept trying to remind her just how those arms had felt holding her and how his lips had felt caressing hers. Ugh. This was a nightmare.

She went over to him, sitting at the table and set the bowl, spoon and milk there. Looking at him would be deadly so she didn’t. “I guess Alex’s crew is going to start with the center today.”

“Yeah.”

“I need to call Brent and give him the schedule for all of this so they can be ready for the feeds coming in. And Cliff is stressing out about doing multiple projects at the same time. I told him we weren’t even sure we were doing multiple shows on this one, that it might end up being just one, but you know Cliff, he doesn’t want to miss any great shot.” She put the cereal box in front of him and went back over to the cabinet.

Derek watched her, his heart falling to his shoes with each movement she made. Part of him couldn’t blame her. In fact, that was the biggest part of him for more reasons than he could name—she wanted to keep her job, she didn’t trust him, she didn’t want to be with him. That last one ripped his heart out and shredded it onto the floor. Still, she was smart enough to know that the two of them could never really be together, and he couldn’t blame her for glossing over it all like it never even happened. So, in her defense and his, he chose to play along. “Caleb said they’re going to start the tear-out on Rachel’s today, but first they’re going to have to deal with that tree.”

“Oh, great,” she said, turning with the coffee cup in her hand, “more chainsaws. Yay.”

Professional. It was a good word for how things were between them, and Jaycee couldn’t be overly upset about that. Once when they were looking over the plans for Rachel’s house, he stood with only inches between them, and she wrapped her arms over themselves and scratched at her ponytail feeling the heat pouring off his body onto hers and knowing she couldn’t very well move to get away from him without looking hopelessly ridiculous. So instead, she nodded in all the right places and even offered a couple of insights, but mostly life was now about acting like her world hadn’t been completely rocked off its axis on the couch in her sister’s house.

In no time they were at Ms. P’s as everyone else had gone back to their lodging for the evening. Jaycee had caught a ride with Alex on the way over because Derek was at Rachel’s talking to Caleb, at least that was her excuse. The truth was, she was terrified he might get back to the center before they left, and he would say she could come with him, and then he would ask if they could talk, and try as she might, she still couldn’t figure out just what she would tell him when that happened.

However, once she was at Ms. P’s and Luke and Alex were busy measuring the windows and siding outside, she took a single breath to ask herself what happened when Derek got here. What happened when, not if, he cornered her or worse, just casually asked what she’d been thinking to kiss him like that. Trying not to think about that, she went inside and called for Ms. P who came out from a room in the back.

“We’re here,” Jaycee said in case that wasn’t already abundantly obvious.

“I just saw the men folk go around the back,” Ms. P said nervously. “Are they going to start replacing the windows already tonight?”

Jaycee smiled her assurances. “It’s going to be at least a week. They’ll measure for them tonight, and we’ll get the order in tomorrow.”

“Oh. Okay. So you’re not going to do any work tonight then?”

At that moment Derek entered behind Jaycee with only a knock, and in one single heartbeat she was again trapped. Swallowing the all-out panic, she put her gaze down on the dark floorboards at her feet even as she wound her arms at her middle.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said, and his voice made her whole being quake. “We had a little gas issue at Rachel’s.”

Panic shot through her, and she looked back at him. “Is everything okay?”

His gaze asked her the same question, and then he nodded. “I think so. The gas company came out, and we got it shut off. We should be good to go now.”

“Oh. Good.” Crying seemed within the realm of reason because she was about to crack under the pressure, but Jaycee nodded and turned her attention back to Ms. P. “The guys are outside measuring the windows. I’m guessing we’re doing all of them?”

Stepping over to the front one, Derek pushed the curtain back and ran his hand over the frame and across the low sill. “They need it. You’re losing gobs of energy out of them every day. So I think yeah, put them on the list.” He straightened. “And what were you saying about the kitchen?”

Jaycee smiled once again at Ms. P. “Don’t worry. He really is good at this.”

“I’m just not sure… Where is the money coming from to do all of this?” she asked, half following the two of them into the little kitchen that Derek was already inspecting, measuring and designing.

“We’re going to cover it,” he said, and Jaycee knew by the way he said it that Ms. P would never question who the ‘we’ actually was. He ran the tape measure one way and then turned. “Here, hold this.”

It was better like this, with him in full designer-remodeler mode. With nearly no effort Jaycee fell into her roll of holding the tape measure, watching, and making tons of mental notes.

“These cabinet doors…” He reached up for one as Ms. P jumped.

“Oh, be—” But it was too late, the top half of the door gave way in his hand. “That one’s been broke since Junior used it for a swing one time.”

“Hm.” Jaycee gulped down her snicker at the wide-eyed shock on his face. “We’ll fix that for you.”

“Yeah.” Derek fitted the hinge back into its place before turning to Jaycee. “I’m thinking we’ll keep the sink where it is but of course get a new one.”

“A new one?” Ms. P gasped. “Oh. I don’t need a new one.”

He glanced at her. “We’ll see what we can find on sale. And I’m wondering…”

Movement in the room behind Ms. P dragged all their gazes that way.

“You want us to measure the other windows?” Alex asked.

“Uh. Yeah. If you’ve got a few minutes,” Derek replied. “Uh, Luke, can you stay for a minute?”

“Sure thing.” Stepping around the others Luke came in. “What’s up?”

Derek’s gaze said far more than his voice did. “I think our best bet’s new cabinets. I don’t know if your shop is set up to do something like that.”

Luke wound his arms up and nodded. “I’ve done them before. A few here and there. Did some for my mom and dad a couple years ago.”

“Great. So here’s what I’m thinking…”

As the two of them discussed the cabinets, Jaycee began to really look around, and the thing that struck her the most was the worn fabrics in the house. Every, single one of them was old and barely clinging to life by a few threads. Curtains, the upholstery on the kitchen chairs, the pillows in the living room. All of it. They would have to replace them. Updating and refreshing simply wasn’t an option. And the furniture in the living room was broken and banged up so badly, she wondered how they were even still standing. A couch. Two chairs. A coffee table.

It was crazy how easily her mind ticked off the things they would need. Had this been a full-blown remodel, she could easily have envisioned doing the small fireplace as well as the floors. But like Derek had said they would have to draw the line somewhere. She did, however, add paint to her mental list before drawing the line there with a soft sigh.

“I think I can make that work,” Luke said. “What do you think, Ms. P?”

She shook her head. “Whatever you all think will be fine with me.”

“So, I’m thinking we should talk to Sage,” Jaycee said as they rode out to her sister’s later. “She does upcycling. She makes the cutest clothes. In fact, most of the things the girls wear are thing’s she’s made. I’m not sure how she is on curtains and pillows and stuff like that, but how hard can it be, right?”

Derek did not reply, and after five seconds, Jaycee chanced a glance at him, half to make sure he was still on the planet, half knowing that his silence was a testament to how badly she was handling this.

“Um,” she continued, wishing she knew how to rewind time by 48 hours, “so how bad was the gas thing? Sorry I didn’t think to call them to supervise. I should have gotten that done.”

“Eh.” He shrugged. “We’ve had worse.”

She nodded, feeling the creeping presence of true awkwardness slithering between them. “But Rachel’s is okay besides that?”

His nod had no words attached to it.

With a breath, she came upon another topic. “And the center? I heard they’re going to pull the skin off tomorrow? So you decided to reskin the whole thing?”

“Had to to get it to match.”

That sounded reasonable enough but brutally short. “And the structure underneath?”

His glance over at her as they bounced into her sister’s driveway did nothing to settle her nerves. “It’s completely compromised. At least on that one corner. Structural said we’re going to have to prop it up, brace it, and then reframe it. Shouldn’t take more than a couple days once we get the materials. We’re going to go with metal to reinforce it. Alex got it ordered today. There’s a metal shop up in Norfolk. Shouldn’t take them more than a week to have the repair package here.”

Jaycee nodded. “That’s good. So it sounds like everything is going pretty smooth then?”

This glance was even less happy. “Yeah, I guess.”

Talking about work when that was the last thing he was thinking about every time he was with her was grating Derek’s nerves. How could she talk about gas lines and framing packages? Was he the only one of them who couldn’t quit thinking about her lips on his, his on hers, and how badly he wanted to take her in his arms again?

“So you think you and Luke can get Ms. P’s cabinets built out here?” she asked, getting out of the pickup as he followed.

“I’m hoping. They shouldn’t be too hard.” He put his hand to his head, and just as she got to the door, he could take it no more. Reaching out, he arrested her forward progress. “Jayc, can we… talk?”

When she turned to him, there was a thin layer of sadness in her eyes, and he knew she was about to shatter his heart into a gazillion pieces. She closed her eyes for a second and then opened them and smiled. “Look, Derek, I know. Believe me, I do, and it’s okay. I get it.”

“Jayc…” Why couldn’t he just explain what he felt so strongly? Why couldn’t he say the words that were burning in his soul to get out?

“No, Derek, I know. It’s not like that between us,” she said, her voice solid and strong. “You don’t want things to be weird on the job, and neither do I. Last night…” Her gaze dropped and then came back up to latch onto his. “It was a mistake. We were both tired, and it was late. I promise you, it won’t happen again.”

That was not what he wanted to hear. “But…”

“No, Derek,” she said again, softness underlying every syllable. “What you’ve built, what you’ve worked for, all of this, and even, you know, coming out here to help everyone, I don’t want to jeopardize that, and I know you don’t either. So, how about we just chalk it up to temporary insanity and forget it ever happened?” She stuck out her hand. “What do you say?”

Nothing in him wanted to shake that hand, but if she didn’t want to be with him, what real choice did he have? With sadness snaking through him, he lifted his hand to meet hers. “Okay.”

They talked about the projects for Ms. P over supper. Sage would help with the fabrics; Luke would help with the cabinets. By the time they were doing dishes, it was all settled. Jaycee knew what her sister and brother-in-law thought, but now that things were back to normal, she wasn’t too worried about that. They would get the hint eventually.

“So, who’s up for a good game of speed after dishes?” Luke asked, setting each dish in the dishwasher with a clank.

“Never heard of it,” Derek said next to Jaycee as he brought glasses from the table.

“Speed? Wow. I haven’t thought of that game in years,” Jaycee said with a laugh. “Talk about a blast from the past.”

“Oh, no,” Sage said in not-totally-acting panic as she came by Derek. “Derek, if you know what is good for you, you will run now.”

He laughed. “Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”

Sage shook her head, wide-eyed. “They don’t play for keeps. They play for blood.”

Jaycee rolled her eyes. “She exaggerates.”

However, Sage was still shaking her head at him. No, she mouthed. “Don’t believe her. She lies.”

Derek was now intrigued. He looked down at Jaycee, and as upset as he was at their new arrangement, he was equally glad that they could still be friends. “Sounds interesting.”

“Yeah, well,” Luke said, putting the last of the plates in, “Jaycee should probably play with you. I’m sure she’s way too rusty to take me on after all these years.”

Winding his lips into his teeth, Derek fought not to laugh. Luke knew how to play her like a fiddle.

“Bet you won’t say that after I wax you a few games,” Jaycee said, bobbing and weaving her head at Luke.

“Oh, yeah?” he asked, grabbing for a towel. “I hope you’ve got the number for the waahmbulance because you’re going to need it.”

“I forget, does 911 work out here?” Jayce asked. She lifted her chin to her sister. “Sage, you’d better put it on speed dial. Luke’s gonna need it.”

“Oh, nothing good can come of this,” Sage said, shaking her head, and Derek laughed. “Nothing, absolutely nothing good.”

They pulled the table out from near the wall so Jaycee could stand on one side and Luke on the other. Not since the first time of playing this game had they ever sat while playing it. Competitive was woven into her very being, but most of the time, Luke was too laid back to join her. That was not the case when it came to cards.

He stretched his arms out to get his sleeves cleared of his wrists as she wove her fingers together, reverse stretched her arms and wrenched her neck in each direction.

“You ready to get schooled, Baker?” Jaycee asked, her tone taunting and cocky.

“Bring it, Lawrence.” He reached for the first card but did not touch it. “Ready?”

“You’re going down,” she said, reaching to her pile.

“And go.”

In seconds they were picking cards up and throwing them into the center as Derek sat just out of the kill zone, watching in fascination. He didn’t really understand the game, but he was mesmerized by it. One, then the other played, but there were no such thing as turns in this game. Whoever got the card down first took that turn.

“Shoot,” Jaycee said as Luke played three cards in a row. “Where is that queen?” She kept reaching for and turning over cards even as Luke did the same on his side.

“And seven!” Luke slapped his last card down and put both hands in the air, turning like Rocky after the championship fight. “I told you, you shouldn’t mess with the king!”

“One card!” Jaycee held it up and growled. “Where was that stupid queen?” She went through the deck still on the table until she found it. “Ugh. There it is.” Pitching it and her card to the table, she growled again before gathering the cards. “Okay, best out of three.”

They had been playing for thirty minutes before Luke called time to run to put on his sweats. Probably it had something to do with the fact that Jaycee had just won the last three rounds. Whatever it was, she laughed at him and said he was just putting off the inevitable.

“I’m not quitting,” Luke said. “Just taking a time out before I come back and show you how it’s done.”

“Famous last words,” she called after him. Leaning in, she gathered in the cards that were scattered all over the table.

“So I haven’t seen any blood yet,” Derek said with a laugh, “but I’m starting to understand why you’re the last one standing on every job.”

She laughed. “Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”

He stood and came over to where Luke had stood. “’Cause failure isn’t an option with you?”

“You got that right,” she said, and then she laughed at how serious she sounded. She lifted her chin at him. “What do you say? One game?”

Raising his eyebrows, he leveled his gaze at her. “With you? I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

A shrug and she smiled. “Eh, I’ll go easy on you.”

His eyebrows went up even farther. “Like I believe that.”

“What? You don’t trust me?”

“Not as far as I can throw you.”

Her smile became a grin. “Smart man.” She tapped the deck on the table and shuffled them once. “What do you say, one hand? While we wait.”

Not one to turn down a direct challenge, Derek tipped his head. “Okay. Why not? One hand.”

Like a spider that had just lured its lunch into its web, she smirked. “You know how to play, or do you need pointers?”

“Well enough. Just go easy on me, okay?”

The smirk widened. “Of course.”

Why did he not believe her?

“Yes!” Jaycee threw her last card down and did a little dance.

“Ugh. I thought you were going to go easy on me,” he said, still holding four cards.

She twined her fingers and stretched her arms, wrenching her neck in that cute way she had. “I did. What did you think I was going to let you win?”

“Well, I was hoping.”

“Yeah. Not in this lifetime.” She shuffled twice. “Go again?”

“I’m a sucker, but sure. You’ve got to have an off game eventually.”

Dealing the cards, she laughed. “Yeah, just keep telling yourself that.”

It was well past eleven-thirty before either of them looked at the clock again, and Derek was the first to notice.

“Uh, just wondering, how long are we going to play anyway?” he asked with a glance at the clock over her shoulder.

“Just ‘til ten,” she said already shuffling the cards.

“Ten?” He laughed. “What? In the morning?”

With a concerned and confused look, she twisted. “Oh, wow. I didn’t realize…” Then she turned to look at him again. “Wait. Where did Luke go?”

Derek wasn’t sure if he should be offended that she didn’t seem to remember she was playing with him and not Luke. “He went to change like an hour ago. Don’t you remember?”

“Of course I remember.” She let out a breath of a laugh. “I just thought he was coming back, that’s all.”

“Maybe he got tired of getting drilled.”

Lifting her shoulders, a look of humility slipped to her face. “Am I that bad?”

But Derek just shook his head and smiled. “No. You’re that good.”

Long after they went to bed, Derek lay in the darkness, listening to the soft breathing of his bunkmates. He wasn’t sure they hadn’t been set up by her brother-in-law, but he also wasn’t sure he wasn’t grateful for it if they were. The more he thought and remembered, the more amazing she became to him. Crazy how little he had ever really noticed of her, and now he couldn’t forget a single moment they had share together.

When she’d first gotten the job, he’d been worried Brent had hired a prima dona, but that worry had quickly collapsed into “what was I worried about.” She could keep up with ten men. Maybe not strength-wise, but certainly in determination. Scheduling, fixing, designing, working. She could do it all in heels and a perfectly pressed blouse. He shook his head again and smiled. How had he gotten so lucky for her to apply for that job? “Thank You, God, for Jaycee,” he said, truly meaning it.

Chapter 19

“We were thinking about moving the sink to this side by the window,” Caleb said the next day as the two of them stood in Rachel’s former kitchen. Almost the entire house had been ripped down to the studs, and it was time to make final macro design decisions. “But the problem is we’re going to have to relocate this plumbing from over here, and some of it is going to have to be replaced. We’ve got copper from here to here, and splicing too. It looks like they replaced some of it at one point but didn’t really finish the job.”

Derek stood, hands on his hips, surveying, as Jaycee watched him. “Yeah, the pipes will have to be replaced, no doubt about it, and if we do that, it makes sense to reroute it.”

“We’ve got the room now to do a pantry over here in this corner,” Jaycee said. “You were worried about storage. If we took this all the way to the ceiling with a closet pantry, that would give her more than enough storage space. Plus, it would give a nice break from the mud room to here.”

“Knock. Knock.”

The three of them turned to find Rachel, complete with a baby attached to her hip and one young child attached to her other hand, come into the space as if someone might shoot her for doing so.

“Oh, hey, just the woman we wanted to see,” Derek said with a smile, and Rachel raised her eyebrows.

“Bad news?”

“No. I don’t think so anyway,” Derek said.

Caleb backed up to let Rachel see their plans that were lying on the little make-shift table that was really two sawhorses and a piece of plywood. Unfortunately, her little guy’s head barely made it to the top. So without asking anyone’s permission, Caleb reached down and swooped him up.

“Come here, buddy. Let’s look at these plans for your mom’s house,” Caleb said with a grin at the child.

Rachel looked petrified for one second, but when the child didn’t protest, she relaxed as well. She bent over the plans and slipped her long, reddish-brown hair over her ear to get a better look.

“We’re thinking about rerouting the sink,” Derek said, pointing it out.

“It was here,” Jaycee said in the actual space. “We’d put it over by the window.”

“That gives a nice space here between the kitchen and the mudroom to do a pantry closet,” Derek said. “We can do some built-ins in the mudroom for shoes and coats and backpacks.”

“Oh, yeah, that would be great,” Rachel said with a breath. “But what about the pipes? Caleb said they were going to be a problem.”

Derek glanced at Caleb and nodded. “It looks like whoever did the plumbing remodel revamped about half of it. There’s no way that’s to code even if this city doesn’t really have one. We want to do this right, so you’re not facing major renovations down the road over something we can easily fix now.”

“Okay.” She looked at them. “But that’s got to cost more.”

“It will. We’ll be looking at some of the other things in the budget to see what we can take out or cut costs on. The floors, for example, we could always go with a less expensive flooring. But we’ll let you know what we decide on that.”

Rachel nodded and hugged her little girl to her. “Okay. That sounds good. I don’t need much, just a roof over our heads and a house that won’t fall down around us.”

Derek smiled. “Believe me, you’ll get that and more.”

On their way to Sage’s later, Jaycee grinned. “I think we have a budding romance on our hands.”

Derek’s gaze swerved to her so fast, the pickup did a little swerving of its own. “Romance? What do you mean?”

She giggled and then sighed. “Don’t you think they will be great together? I mean, you can so see how mesmerized he is with her.”

With everything in him, Derek knew the feeling but not the context. “Okay. What did I miss?”

“Caleb, of course. Duh.” Scrunching her eyebrows and shaking her head, she laughed at him. “Hello. Are you blind? He’s totally in love with Rachel.”

“Rachel…?” Derek hadn’t so much as considered the possibility. “Seriously?”

“Come on, you can’t tell me you didn’t notice the two of them.”

Well, Derek’s mind wasn’t exactly on that at the time. “She showed up, he held her kid. How does this equate to love?”

Jaycee shook her head in exasperation. “Men. I can’t believe you seriously did not notice how he was looking at her, how he got close when he showed her where the sink was going to go.”

“I thought I showed her where the sink was going.”

“Ugh. You’re terrible.”

“What?” he asked, truly perplexed. “I did.”

“And he held Rhett to look at the plans. Oh.” She let herself fall back into the seat. “Rachel is so lucky.”

Derek shifted and glanced at her. “Oh, yeah? How’s that?”

“Caleb’s a great guy.”

A strange feeling of jealousy snaked through Derek, but he ignored it hoping it would go away. “Oh? I didn’t realize you had a thing for Caleb.”

Reaching over, she smacked his arm. “Not me. Me and Caleb? Uh, no. Definitely not.”

As jealous as he was, he was also strangely intrigued. “Why not?”

“Well, first of all, we work together, so that would be totally awkward, and besides, Caleb isn’t my type.”

“Oh, yeah? What is your type?”

Instead of coming back with a retort, she grew quiet. “I don’t know really. I always kind of pictured myself with some executive type-A guy who works all the time and never comes home.”

Derek raised his eyebrows. “Sounds romantic.”

She shrugged. “Yeah, well, I guess I’ve just learned to manage my expectations.”

Worry poured over him. “What does that mean?”

This shrug was more thoughtful. “Just that I’m probably never going to have the guy who does romantic things. You know the rose petals in the bathtub and candlelight meals.” She seemed wholly practical even as she said it. “Not like Luke with Sage. I mean, when they were going together, he would take her out to the ridge and bring like a single rose that she’d keep and press in a book with the date written down, or they’d go out to the beach and have picnics.” Jaycee grew even quieter. “But that’s just for Sage and the girls in romance novels. Not me.”

They pulled up at the Baker’s as Derek’s heart fused to what she was saying. “So, why not you? What makes that so impossible for you?”

She laughed softly and held out her hands. “Look at me. I’m not exactly the kind of girl guys think to do that kind of thing for. Not that I’ll probably ever find out anyway.” She laughed and shrugged. “But I’m happy for Caleb and Rachel. I hope it works out for them. She deserves someone great.”

The whole conversation kept tripping through Derek’s mind as they ate supper. He watched her, with her family, connected and yet not. He wasn’t sure how she pulled that off, but he saw it just the same. After supper when he and Luke escaped out to the shop to start work on the cabinets, he realized he had a golden opportunity to dig into the mystery that was his assistant.

They had divided up the first of the workload and were each making headway when Derek decided it was now or never to ask. “So you’ve known Jaycee a long time then?”

“Oh, yeah. Mud puddles and skinned knees.” Luke repositioned the wood and ran it down the table saw, killing the conversation for a minute.

Derek marked the cut he would make on the piece he was working on. “I’m surprised the two of you didn’t end up together.”

“Me and Jaycee?” Luke stopped even as he swung the large board around. Then he relented a half-inch. “Yeah, well, I guess I was never what she thought of as Mr. Right. Long story. Short ending.”

“So you dated then?” As long as he kept his gaze down, Derek convinced himself he wouldn’t sound interested, just making conversation.

“Well, we went out and got burgers, went to a few bonfires together, but we never really dated.” Luke ran the board down the saw and then cut the motor. “Except one time freshman year for the homecoming dance. I think she realized then she could do a whole lot better than me.”

The dichotomy of the two stories struck Derek. “So, she went out a lot then?”

“No. Not really. Some but mostly a date here or there. She was never really the girl the guys around here went for. She was too…”

When Luke didn’t continued, Derek looked up. “Too?”

“Too… Jaycee. You know? I mean, I love her to death, but she’s got a stubborn streak a mile wide and two deep.”

That much he knew.

“Plus, she seems like she doesn’t really need a guy.” Luke shook his head. “Like ‘I can handle it on my own, thank you very much.’ And she can. I think guys kind of feel… intimidated by her. Of course, she doesn’t really do much to let them think otherwise, especially if she gets the vibe that they’re not going to hold up their end of the bargain. Eventually, guys just give up trying to fit into her life.”

Derek nodded. It was strange because every time he had one of these kinds of talks, the mystery of Jaycee Lawrence shifted like the chips in a kaleidoscope, revealing and yet making everything look totally different.

“So, you guys were looking pretty cozy on the couch the other night,” Luke suddenly said, and the pencil in Derek’s hand streaked away from him.

“Oh, yeah, well…”

“Sage keeps saying the two of you would make a great couple,” Luke continued, making Derek’s blood pressure rise a couple thousand points.

“Oh. We’re not…”

“I know,” Luke said quickly. “Just sayin’ if things work out, we’d be okay with that.”

A blessing? He had someone’s blessing? Wow. Somehow Derek had never thought to ask for one and had never known what having one would feel like. He nodded. “Well, I appreciate that.”

All day Wednesday, Derek watched her when they were together. She was fascinating, moving at the speed of light, just under the radar, making sure things were set up for the next spots for Cliff, checking on the delivery dates for the materials, ordering the sinks and fixtures for each place. Slowly, Derek began to see how much of his success was because of her quiet, behind-the-scenes hard work.

He had also decided upon his trek to Rachel’s that she was right about Caleb’s new crush. Derek had to force himself not to laugh at how many times his lead carpenter said Rachel’s name. “Rachel wanted…. Rachel said… Rachel came up with…” Yes, he had it bad, and Derek wondered what happened when this job was over, and it was time to move on.

“Clearly we can’t go with granite at Ms. P’s,” Jaycee said on the way home. “I mean, even concrete or butcher block will be too much. So, I’m thinking there’s a place out of Raleigh that does Formica.” She held up her hand with the pen still in it. “I know what you think about Formica, but I don’t want Ms. P to have a kitchen she won’t even use.”

“What about stainless? At least on some of it?” He glanced over. “She could use it as a cutting board and prep area, and then we could go with Formica on the rest of it.”

Jaycee nodded. “That might actually work. Oh, and the windows we ordered are going to be another three weeks.”

“Three? I thought…”

“Everything’s backed up thanks to Gabriel.” She scratched her head. “We could go with a company from farther out if you want. It would increase the shipping costs, but it would cut the time. I have a few bids lined out if you want to look at them.”

Pulling up into the driveway, he shook his head. “Yeah, I guess we better.”

~*~

Everything had been going so smoothly, Jaycee could hardly believe their luck. Yes, there were the normal issues—phantom holes in subfloors they hadn’t expected to find, actually having to find a welder for the center’s metal work, ordering windows from Ohio—little things that just cropped up in this line of work. However, when she put her feet on the floor on Friday morning long before the sun came up, she wasn’t at all prepared for the rush of spinning the room did.

“Whoa,” she said to the emptiness around her as she grabbed for the bed covers so she didn’t end up in a heap on the floor.

Then, as quickly as it had happened, it was gone.

“Wow. That was fun.”

And with only that, she went to the closet to start her day.

Friday night as they sat at supper before Derek and Luke headed out for their second job, Derek decided to bounce an idea off of all of them. “You know, I’ve been thinking. Tomorrow is Saturday, and we got the stuff in for Pastor Steve’s roof. I’m betting if we got Aidan and Peter and Jeremiah and Andrew to help, we could get the shingles off for the crew on Monday.”

Luke tipped his head. “Roofing? Oh, goody.”

“Can we, Dad?” Jeremiah asked.

“Yeah, can we?” Andrew parroted.

Luke looked at Sage who wrinkled her forehead. “The roof? Really?”

“They’ll be perfectly safe,” Derek said. “The roof doesn’t have much of a pitch to it, and we really could use the help.”

She sighed long and dramatically. “Okay. If it will help y’all out, I guess so.”

“Yay!” both boys yelled.

“Great.” Derek took another bite of bread. “Do you want to call the pastor about his boys, or do you want me to?”

“I can,” Luke said. “I’m sure they will be thrilled.”

After supper, Luke, Derek and both boys disappeared out to the shop, leaving Jaycee and Sage with the dishes. Slowly Jaycee spun the dishrag around the pot as a sinking sense of all the things she would never have settled onto her heart.

“Whatcha thinking?” Sage asked, bringing plates over and putting them in the dishwasher even as she watched her sister.

“Oh, you know, Pastor Steve’s roof, the sheetrock for the center walls, ordering the Formica for Ms. P’s.”

“Derek?” Sage looked at her sweetly.

“No. Not Derek,” Jaycee said, her gaze going to the pan.

“No lying over dishes.”

“Huh?”

Sage laughed. “It’s what Luke and I always say when the other one thinks they can get away with fibbing.”

“I’m not fibbing.”

“Sure you’re not.”

“I’m not!” Jaycee protested.

“Yep, you just keep telling yourself that.” And Sage went back to the table.

Anger split through Jaycee. Who were they, the relationship police? Why did every, single person have to think she couldn’t run her own love life? Okay, so there wasn’t much to run, but she liked her life like this. It was safe and uncomplicated. Yes, she was just absolutely, perfectly fine.

At least she was until the next morning when she awoke and made the horrendous mistake of sitting up. Spinning would have been a downgrade for what that room did. She slammed her eyes closed and grabbed for the nightstand very nearly missing it completely. “Holy smokes! Wow. What was that?”

If she didn’t know any better, she would think she’d had far too much to drink the night before. Not that she’d had anything, but that’s what this felt like. Holding onto the nightstand even as she reached for the wall, she stood and made her way around to the closet where she made sure to hold onto the door when she got there. It took a minute more for the spinning to stop, and she made a pact with herself right then and there that she would not be getting on that roof today.

The spinning had made her queasier than she wanted to admit, so Jaycee ate a banana and called breakfast good. The whole house seemed to be awake and vibrating with excitement, so no one even noticed how slowly she was moving or how carefully. If she could just be assured it wouldn’t do that again, it would be okay. But she couldn’t be sure and that scared her.

“Sandwiches. Check,” Luke said as he stood at the cabinet, his own little assembly line splayed out in front of him. “Chips?”

“Right here,” Jeremiah said, coming from the pantry.

“Drinks?”

“In the cooler,” Andrew said.

“Tools?”

“In the truck,” Derek said. “We should have our pick between yours and ours.”

“Great.” Luke slapped his hands together. “Then let’s get going so we’re not melting in an hour.”

Jaycee picked herself up from the table, hating the look of concern Derek gave her as he quietly made his way to where she now stood.

“You know, you could stay and work on the curtains with Sage,” he said.

“What? Are you trying to get rid of me?” The question was supposed to be teasing, but it sounded a bit too serious.

“No. Just a thought.”

“Yeah, well, someone had better supervise this job. I know how much you like working on roofs.” She smirked at him. “Now, let’s go before we have to melt or Luke fires us.”

Well, Jaycee was right about the roof thing—they had never been Derek’s favorite thing to work on. In fact, he was smart enough to ditch his normal overshirts in favor of a simple light purple T-shirt. The humidity alone would probably kill them.

With everyone assembled, he decided that since it was a Saturday and he wanted to make this fun for the kids, a race might be just the ticket. “Okay, troops. Tell you what. There are four faces to this roof. This long stretch and then where it turns. I’ll take Peter and Andrew, and we’ll do the east and north. Luke, you take Aidan and Jeremiah. You guys do the west and south faces. We’ll see who can get done the fastest. Losers buy the winners ice cream. Deal?”

“Deal!”

“But remember, take breaks and drink lots of water. I don’t want anyone getting dehydrated. Everybody ready?”

“Yeah!” they all yelled.

“K. Mark. Set…. Go!”

Securely on the ground, Jaycee was in charge of the wheelbarrow, sweeping for nails, and making sure everyone got enough to drink. Dehydration. Out here it was a real possibility. Even at 7:30 a.m., the humidity was already climbing and would surely take over everything by midafternoon. They would be finished by then. She knew the logistics of this endeavor by heart. Getting the shingles off was the easy part. Putting the new paper and shingles on was the thing that would take the biggest chunk of time. By Monday, they would have a whole roofing crew up there, and by Monday evening, this part of the job would be finished.

Thankfully her dizziness seemed to have completely subsided because she really didn’t enjoy trying to convince everyone she was okay. She was. Right?

“Wow. Looks like quite a crew up there,” Pastor Steve said, coming out of the house and angling his gaze up at the roof.

“It is. They should have this done in no time,” Jaycee said, leaning on the side of the black pickup to watch them.

“That’s good. It’s hard enough to write a sermon in the tranquil quiet. With all this banging, I’m sunk.”

She laughed. “Hopefully we’ll be out of your hair by noon or one. Two at the very latest.”

He nodded and then looked over at her. “So, it’s nice to have you home again.”

“It’s nice to be home.”

He nodded again and looked back up at the roof. “Nice to see you’ve found a good guy. Derek seems like one of the best.”

That dragged her up and off the pickup. “Derek? Oh, no. We’re not. He’s not… Well, yeah, I mean, he’s great, but we’re not…” The trickle of sweat that slid down her neck had nothing to do with the humidity.

“You’re not? Oh.” The pastor quirked his head. “Because it seemed like…”

“No. Oh, no. We’re not… We just work together, that’s all.”

He smiled and shook his head. “That must be it. You spend so much time around a person, you start acting like a couple.” With a shrug, he smiled again. “Sorry. Just the matchmaker in me, I guess. I like to see good, solid couples, so sometimes I see them when there’s really nothing there.”

“Yeah.” But the question had shaken her confidence that their relationship was only what it was, and nothing more, not to mention what it looked like to others.

“Well, I think I’m going to run over to the church for a little while, maybe until they stop banging.”

She laughed. “Good plan.”

With one wave, he walked off.

When he was gone, she had a little debate with herself about his words. Sometimes when two people spend a lot of time together… Yes, that’s what it was. They had just spent every waking hour and some sleeping ones with each other in the past year. Then one sleeping one drove into her conscious, dragging panic along with it. Every time she thought about that, the kiss, on the couch, in the dark, her cheeks flamed to life. That was no ordinary kiss. That wasn’t an I’m-glad-you’re-my-assistant kind of kiss. In fact, that was the kind of kiss that real couples shared, real couples with real feelings for each other….

“Head’s up!” Derek called from on the roof, and Jaycee looked up to see him toss a scoop of shingles off the roof and into the waiting waste truck. He turned and fist-bumped Andrew. “This man knows how to take off shingles. Hey, Luke!”

“Yeah?”

“I like rocky road mixed with cookie dough, okay?”

“I’m a chocolate man myself. Triple scoop with a cone! And maybe some sprinkles.”

“Sprinkles too?” Derek turned to his crew. “Work faster, guys, I can’t afford sprinkles too!”

Luke laughed, and Jaycee smiled. It was strange how in a different lifetime, in a different situation, the two of them could really have been friends.

It was getting to be close to noon. Jaycee had been hauling stray shingles and putting them in the pile most of the morning.

“We’ve only got another five square,” Derek called as he had been, letting the other team know of their progress. Boasting was more like it, but it was all in good fun. Bantering about the Sox, school, and shingles, Jaycee didn’t know which of the six of them was having the most fun.

“We’ve got this, guys,” Luke said, angling his hammer down to rip up the shingles on the far south-facing side. “If it hadn’t been for that flashing, we’d already be done.”

“Wah. Wah. Wah,” Derek said.

“Not complaining, just saying.”

“Yeah, just keep telling yourself that.”

On the ground, Jaycee bent to pick up a stray shingle from under where Derek was working. However, when she straightened, the whole world did a twist she wasn’t at all ready for.

“Whoa!” Tipping hard right, she caught her foot on the wheelbarrow and went spiraling right along with her balance. “Uh. Whoa. Ow. Ugh.” The earth’s swaying did not stop with only one spin like it had before, and by the time it came to a full stop, she was latched onto the wheelbarrow, clinging to it for dear life as it was the only semi-stationary thing she could find to hold onto.

“Jayc?”

From somewhere outside the spin-zone, she heard his voice and the concern.

“Jaycee? Are you…?”

It took less than one look for Derek to be in full get-down-there-now mode. He strode across the cleaned off roof right to the ladder and descended at record pace. Racing across the lawn to get to her as he detached the tool belt and let it fall where it dropped, he assessed and questioned even before he got there. “Jaycee? What happened? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

And then he was right next to her as wide-eyed, her gaze came up to meet his.

Putting his hands on her arms, he drilled into the bewilderment in her eyes as she latched onto him to pull herself upright. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“What?” she asked as if she had no idea she had just taken half a tumble over some random wheelbarrow. “Uh, y-yeah. Yeah. I’m… I’m fine.” She let go of him and brushed at her T-shirt, looking like she didn’t even see it. “I’m okay.”

Panic jammed into him. “What happened?”

“Uh. I don’t know. I guess I must’ve tripped or something.” She shook her head but very gingerly. “Maybe I just need a drink. Maybe I got too hot.”

“Come here.” Without really asking, he took hold of her, wrapping her next to him so that he was her balance, and turned her for the front porch steps just as Luke joined them.

“Jayc, what happened? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Just got a little light-headed, that’s all. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“Okay. You sit here, and I’ll go get you something to drink,” Derek said as he sat her next to the wrought iron railing and she grabbed onto it. In the next second he was gone, and three seconds after that he was back, sitting down right next to her, being extra careful not to jostle her. “Here you go. Drink it slowly. Sip it. Don’t chug at least not at first. It can make you sick.”

She did as she was told three times, and then she took a long, slow breath. “Yeah. I think that’s what it was.”

“Are you sure? Maybe it’s heat stroke,” Luke said and looked up at the sun.

“Whatever it was, you don’t need to be out here anymore,” Derek said.

“Guys, it’s not that big of a deal. I just got a little dizzy. That’s all. It’s not a federal emergency.”

However, what he had seen was more than a little dizzy, and even if she wasn’t freaking out over it, he definitely was. Derek looked up at Luke. “She needs to go home.”

Luke nodded. “I can take her if you want to finish up with the guys here.”

“Guys, I’m fine,” she said again, but Derek had no intention of letting her talk him out of making sure she was okay.

“I think that’s a good idea,” Derek said to Luke, completely ignoring Jaycee. “She doesn’t need to be out here anymore than she already has been.”

“Guys.”

“Okay, well, I’ll just take her home then,” Luke said. “I should be back in no more than ten.”

“Yeah. Okay. We’ve got this. We’re almost finished anyway.”

“Guys! I’m fine.”

“You are not fine.” Hard-as-the-nails-in-his-discarded-tool-belt, Derek looked at her. “Now you need to rest and to get out of this sun.”

“I just got a little dizzy. I’m sure it’s nothing.” But when she stood up to make her case, she swayed dangerously and had to grab back onto the handrail.

“Whoa!” They both reached out for her, but Derek was the first to fully arrest her movement as he came up right next to her. “Okay, that’s it. No more arguing. We’re going to Luke’s truck, and you’re going to go home and get some rest. You hear me?”

“But it’s not…”

“Listen to Derek,” Luke said from the side. “You really want him on the hook for a Worker’s Comp claim?”

Worker’s Comp was the least of Derek’s worries, but at least that stopped her protesting. “Luke, why don’t you call Sage and tell her what happened so she knows you’re coming?”

“Good plan.”

And so Jaycee found herself being taken to Luke’s pickup by a very worried, very micro-managing Derek.

“Now when you get there, have Sage get out some washrags, wet them, and put them on the back of your neck.” Step for step, he walked with her across the small lot, never really letting go of her. “Drink a lot of water, and I’m serious, get some rest. Sleep would be better.”

She laughed softly. “When did you become a doctor?”

However, when she was in the truck, he looked at her, inches from her, his eyes burning with concern. “I’m not kidding, Jayc. Okay? I’m not. This isn’t something to mess around with. Now promise me, you’ll rest and take care of yourself.”

“Okay. I promise.” If he was going to be so concerned, she should at least not make his life miserable over it.

“Okay. Good.” Nodding in a way that somehow made her think he was about to kiss her, Derek didn’t take his gaze off of her even as he backed out and shut the door between them. “Make sure Sage knows,” he called to Luke who waved. Derek pointed at her. “Water and rest. I’m serious.”

Jaycee could tell, and she was sure, between the three of them, she would be bubble-wrapped by nightfall.

“So seriously,” Luke said, glancing at her as they headed back to the house. “Are you okay? You about freaked Derek completely out, you know that?”

“I wasn’t trying to.”

“So what happened anyway?”

“I don’t know. You know me, I’m a klutz sometimes.” At that she pulled her ankle up to inspect it because it really did hurt. When she got it up far enough, she realized why. There was a large ugly bruise on it, probably from where she had hit the wheelbarrow. Letting it drop, she put her head back. The spinning had given her an actual headache, not to mention the queasiness. The way she felt, she might not ever eat again. Honestly, she was glad for them making her leave.

Oh, sure, she could have put her game face on and acted all tough, but tired and worried were much closer to how she was really feeling. Thank goodness they didn’t know this wasn’t the first time it had happened.

“Sage says she’s got lunch ready, so maybe you could eat something and then lay down for a while,” Luke said.

Jaycee nodded too tired to really argue.

At the house, he was around to her side before she hardly got out. “I can walk. I’m not that bad.”

However, Sage came flying out of the house before they had so much as made it to the front of the pickup, which Jaycee hadn’t even realized she was still holding onto.

“What in the world happened?” her sister asked like she too was freaked out.

“I tripped over the wheelbarrow,” Jaycee said before Luke had a chance to say anything. “But I’m fine.”

“Well, you don’t look fine.” Her sister came on the other side of her as Luke stayed close to the other.

“I just got a little dizzy, that’s all.”

“Dizzy?” Panic surged through her sister’s voice. “What do you mean dizzy? Why dizzy?”

“Probably a touch of heat stroke,” Luke said, helping Jaycee up the steps and into the house.

She felt like an idiot. They thought she couldn’t even walk by herself, and frankly, that was the very last feeling she ever wanted to relive.

“Derek says you should wet some rags and put them on the back of her neck,” Luke said, “and she needs rest.”

“Oh, absolutely,” Sage said as they angled Jaycee away from the chairs in the kitchen and into the back hallway instead. “Water too, right?”

“Yeah. She should probably eat in bed. The less up-and-about stuff, the better.”

“Hello,” Jaycee said. “‘She’ is right here.”

Still, the bed did look rather inviting.

“Okay,” Sage said, flipping the covers back. “Now, you get in there. I’ll get the things.”

Luke stepped back and watched them as Jaycee removed her shoes and crawled into the bed. After a minute of flitting around to get her sister comfy, Sage came over to him.

“I really need to get back up there,” he said. “I hate leaving Derek with all the kids.”

“Oh, of course.” Sage kissed him quickly and gave him a hug. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of our patient. Tell Derek she’s in good hands.”

Luke nodded. “I’ll be sure to tell him.”

It was the height of insanity that Derek couldn’t keep his mind on the logistics of finishing the simple shingle removal project. All he wanted to do was call Luke and make sure she was all right. In fact, twice he had sworn his cell phone had beeped and had it out and on before he realized it was just the sound of him losing his mind. Surely she was all right. Surely this was nothing serious.

However, he couldn’t shake the fact that she’d never done anything like that before or that it really wasn’t that hot out here. Hot, yes. But not hot enough to cause heat stroke. At least he didn’t think it was. Then again, how much experience had he ever had with heat stroke, or sun stroke? Was there a difference? He was debating that point with himself when Luke pulled back up.

Leaving the boys who were immersed in their own conversation, Derek went across the roof and down the ladder, never really stopping until he got to Luke. “How was she?”

Luke sighed. “I don’t think great.”

“What? Why not? What happened?”

“Well, you know how Jaycee’s always like, ‘I’m fine. Don’t worry about it’?”

“Yeah?” More worry pounded into Derek.

“Well, either she’s mellowing or she really did need to be in bed because she didn’t put up much of nothing of a fight.”

Derek put his hands on his beltline. “You think she needs to go to the doctor?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s just like a 24-hour bug or something. I say we watch her for a while, see what happens. If she gets worse, we hog-tie her, throw her in the truck, and take her in.”

Hog-tie was probably right, but Derek was about two seconds from not waiting to see what happened. She had him worried sick enough for both of them, and he wasn’t sure how a waiting period was going to help that.

“Luke said back of the neck,” Sage said, trying to reposition the wet cloth around her stubborn sister’s neck.

Jaycee knew she wasn’t being helpful, but she just couldn’t help it. She didn’t do helpless very well. “Well, then give it to me. I can do it.”

“I know you can, but…”

“Just give it to me.” After a small tussle, her sister gave up and let her do it.

“Fine.” Sage backed up and put her hands on her hips, worry puckering her sweet face. “I have lunch ready. It’s just some spinach and ham quiche, but I can bring you some.”

“I could come out there…”

“No!” Sage held up both hands. “Don’t you even think about it. I will bring it in here, and you will stay right there, missy.”

Jaycee put both hands on the comforter and frowned. “I’m not two.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m not arguing. Now you stay put, and I’ll be right back.”

When she was gone, Jaycee let out a long, hard breath. This was going to get really old really fast.

By the time they made it back to the house after cleaning everything up, it was almost four. As it turned out, the men paid for all the ice cream their crew could eat, and that was quite a bit. The two of them had sat at the end of the table, mapping out the coming week’s work, both thinking about Jaycee the whole time.

“So, how’s our patient?” Derek asked Sage when he walked into the kitchen. They were going to take a little break before heading out to the shop for cabinets. It seemed there wasn’t enough time to breathe these days, but finding out how his assistant was topped the list of things to do.

“Ugh.” Sage shook her head. “She really needs some cheese with all that whine.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Worse. She’s going to drive me crazy, and I think we were already curbside.”

He laughed. “Want me to go tell her to behave?”

Sage smiled. “Yeah. Good luck with that.”

Reading. Jaycee had thought so many times over the last year that she should make more time for it. Now that she had all the time in the world, no book could hold her attention. This bed was like a torture chamber, and she was already starting to lose her mind from the inescapable force of boredom.

“Knock. Knock.”

Dropping the book in her hand to her lap, she looked up. “It’s open.”

With a small amused but slightly concerned smile, Derek pushed into the room and stood there, eyebrows raised. “Well, at least you haven’t escaped.”

Jaycee shook her head. “Sage said she would kill me if I get out of this bed, but I’m thinking about risking it.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Worse.”

He shook his head and came just a few steps farther in. “How’re you feeling?”

“Fine.” And there was frustration layered across the statement. “I told you. I’m fine.”

Concern overtook the humor. “Yeah, well, we’re just worried about you.”

“And I appreciate it, but I’m seriously going to go stir crazy if I have to stay in this bed.” She put a sweet face on and arched her shoulder’s up like a small child. “Can’t you talk to Sage for me? Get her to let me at least go to the living room? I think the Red Sox are playing.” She didn’t know if they were or not, but anything was better than this.

He narrowed his gaze at her. “But you’ll just sit there, no arguing?”

Lifting two fingers, she grinned. “Scout’s honor.”

However, he shook his head. “You were never a scout.”

Instead of arguing, she lifted her shoulders again. “Please.”

With a sigh, he left, and she sighed too. Derek could talk Sage into giving her parole. Thank God for Derek.

“Okay,” Derek said when he came back after his mini-conference with their hosts. “You’re being moved to the living room.”

“Yay!” Whipping the covers off herself, Jaycee went so fast, it made Derek jump in fright.

“Hey, now. Slowly. Let’s not get crazy here.” And then he was right next to her to steady and help if she needed it. It was amazing how central to his well-being hers had become. “How are you?” Gaze locked on her, he put one hand at her back and offered the other for her hand if she needed it, however, she didn’t so much as reach for it.

“I’m not Humpty Dumpty. I’m fine.”

“Okay, but if you get dizzy, I’m right here.” He shadowed her down the hall to the living room, where she sat in one of the chairs, leaving him to tower over her. Hands on hips assessing, he curled his lip under his teeth. “Are you cold? Do you need a blanket?”

“I’m fine.”

“Do you need something to drink?” Sage asked, coming in from the kitchen followed by Luke and the two boys.

“Seriously, guys,” Jaycee said. “I’m fine.” When no one replied, she shook her head. “I am. Y’all go on. I’m just going to sit here and watch…” She looked past Derek to the television. “Whatever this is.”

Derek turned to find cute, little stuffed bunnies dancing on the screen, and he knew she must be really desperate.

“Here,” Luke said, bringing the remote. “You can change it. Whatever you want.”

Instead of changing it, she held the remote up for Derek to see. “Hear that? Whatever I want. I’m fine. Now go work on those cabinets or whatever.”

Knowing there was really nothing he could do anyway, Derek nodded. “Okay, but if you need anything…”

“Sage is right here. I promise I won’t make a break for it.”

Not one of the three looked like they believed that, but what more could they do?

“Okay,” Derek finally said, and then he lifted his gaze to her sister. “If she gets out of hand, you let us know. Luke’s got some rope out in the shop.”

Jaycee scowled. “Ha. Ha. I’m fine. Go get to work.”

For a whole 16 hours Derek thought and worried about her. Maybe they should take her to the doctor. Then again, she hadn’t had another spell, so maybe it was a one-time thing, and it was gone now. By the next morning however, he had still made no real decision other than if she so much as shifted wrong again, they were going to the doctor.

Determined to keep a close eye on her, he got up early, dressed quickly, and had coffee made for everyone else when they started moving to get ready for church. When Jaycee made it to the kitchen, his need to protect her snapped into overdrive.

“Jayc,” he said, going over to her the second she stepped into the kitchen. He put his hand out to steady her and then swept his other hand in front of him as if parting the Red Sea for her to pass. “Why don’t you sit here by Livvie? I can make you eggs if you want, or there’s cereal.”

The surprise was so great that Jaycee didn’t even argue. “Oh. Uh…”

“There’s coffee too. You want sugar in it or just black?”

Jaycee’s gaze jumped from him to the others already sitting at the table, watching them. Neither Sage nor Luke said anything. “Uh, just black is fine.” At the table, she sat carefully but with concern that he had lost his mind.

“You want cereal? There’s eggs and bacon too. Toast and jam.”

“A banana?” she asked, feeling the gazes of her family drilling into her.

However, bringing her coffee over, he shook his head. “No. You need more than a banana. Eggs would be better. You want one or two?”

She knew better than to try to talk him out of this insanity. “One?”

“Fried or scrambled.”

What could she say? “Scrambled, please.”

Unfortunately for Jaycee, Derek’s new idea of hovering caregiving did not stop when they left her sister’s bound for the church. Oh, no. Not even close. He helped her into the pickup and out of the pickup when they got to the church, staying so close, she could have tripped on his shoelaces.

“Derek, really, I’m fine,” Jaycee said, trying to forget the roller coaster that getting out of bed had been. Somehow she needed to get a handle on this and fast. She couldn’t afford to be sick. At least it wasn’t all the time, and if she could figure out what triggered it, she would be glad to just stop doing that forever.

“I know, and I’m going to make sure you stay that way,” he said, shutting the pickup door and coming right to her side where he put his hand on her back, monitoring she told herself.

However, it was clear by the looks they were getting that the others at church this morning thought this was much more than monitoring. She wished she could explain all of this to them so they would stop looking at them like that. Those tiny, knowing smiles were needling into her sanity. Still, she lifted her chin and went through the door he opened.

In the lobby, gazes turned to them, stopped, held, and then took several more glances their direction as the whispers started. This was a disaster. By nightfall, the town would have them married with a kid on the way.

“Oh, sweetheart,” her mother said, coming over to them, sweeping rather than walking. She gave Jaycee a quick hug and then held her hand out to Derek. “Your father and I were just talking about you last night.”

Jaycee tried to decipher if anyone had told her mother about her ill-health, but so far it appeared they hadn’t. “Oh yeah?”

“Yes.” Her mother glanced back as her husband joined her. He shook Derek’s hand and hugged Jaycee. “We would love to have the two of you out to the house today. We haven’t had any time to really talk since you’ve gotten here.”

“The… two of…?” Jaycee choked on that and looked back at Derek. This was getting worse.

“We would love to have you, Derek,” her mother said before Jaycee could politely decline for them both.

“Oh…” His gaze slipped down to hers, and he was one second from saying she didn’t need to be doing more than sitting in a chair for the rest of her life.

“We’d love to,” Jaycee said, taking the less-horrible road. At least she hoped it was the less-horrible one, but that was getting harder to determine every second. “Wouldn’t we, Derek?”

Hard and questioning, he looked down at her, one second away from arguing. Then, like the clouds after a rainstorm, he smiled at her. “Sure.” He looked at her parents. “We’d love to.”

Chapter 20

He never left her side. Not for even a second, not for a breath, so by the time they were seated in the little church with her sister’s family, Jaycee knew the rumors had long-since started. Then again, maybe they already had. Her mother was certainly acting strangely. As the service started, she reviewed their time here. She should have just gone out to her parents’ house already. That would have staved off this forced-march out there.

However, going to that house again made the hairs on her arms stand up. The thought of going with Derek felt like the kiss of death itself. Then again, if she had just gone already, she could have assessed how bad this was going to be. Her mind whipsawed around all the ways she would have to avert disaster once they got there. Of course there was her mother who was seldom subtle. Her father who was more subtle but less inclined to stand down where his girls were concerned. And then there was the house itself.

Tears welled into her eyes when she thought about all the time she had spent there, sitting in the den, wishing her life would just be kind and end. With no trouble at all, she remembered Luke showing up the day he had decided her self-imposed isolation had gone on too long, and she remembered driving away when she had finally taken his advice to go back to school. Her heart fell at the memories, all the memories, some so painful and raw she wasn’t at all sure she could keep them down in the little dungeon where they now lived, quietly but constantly reminding her of what a disappointment she had turned out to be.

“Today we hear the words of St. Paul, the man who literally spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ to what was then the ends of the earth,” Pastor Steve said as Derek sat, forcing himself not to put his arm around Jaycee who sat only inches away. How she was able to keep such distance between them, even in the confines of the pew, he didn’t know but he felt every centimeter.

She was too stubborn for her own good. Too pig-headed. It was all he could do to stay beside her once they’d gotten to the church. It was like she was determined to ditch him, and she would have if he would have let her, which he didn’t. No. He was going to make sure she was all right whether she liked it or not.

“Listen to his words, ‘In order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.’

“I have had cause to think a lot about my weakness over the past couple of weeks, the frailty of my body and the temporal nature of my time here on earth,” Pastor Steve said. “You see, there will come a day, I don’t know if soon or a long time from now, when I will not be here. Someone else will stand at this podium and preach God’s word, and different people will be in those pews listening. Temporal, temporary. Our time here will come to an end, and I believe it is this very point which St. Paul so eloquently deals with in this passage.

“Our weakness, our frailty, our temporal nature. On our own, if left to our own strength, we are so very weak. You see, he was given a glimpse into glory, a glimpse of Heaven if you will, and in that glimpse, he began to understand his limitations. So he prayed for God to take those limitations away from him. ‘God, if You’ll just remove my weakness, my frailty, my temporal nature, then I can really turn the world on fire for You, then I could really be someone.” Pastor Steve gripped the podium and backed up. “Here is the man who wrote half of the New Testament, lamenting the fact that he’s weak.

“Have you ever really thought about that? Have you ever thought and compared yourself to the phantom ‘they’? ‘They’ are so holy. ‘They’ are so together. ‘They’ are doing so much for God. We compare our cons to their pros. Worse, we compare our cons to some phantom unattainable us. We think, ‘I should be able to handle all of this. Why can’t I? Why am I so weak?’ Right here, St. Paul gives us the answer.

“In fact, a lot of people think that the Bible says, ‘God will never give you more than you can handle.’ Ha. If anything, the Bible says over and over that the world will absolutely give you more than you can handle. And God allows that, hoping that in your weakness, you will turn to Him and let Him help you. We were never meant to do this life thing on our own. We were designed to need others and especially God. In our weakness, His Plan, His Grace can begin to work. But we, like St. Paul, must be willing to own our weakness, to ‘boast’ if you will in our weakness because in our weakness, God’s strength can step in, and when that happens, that’s when miracles start showing up.”

Derek thought it strange how every time he sat in a church the preacher seemed to take his thoughts and make them into a sermon. He wondered how they did that even as he stood with the others, putting his hand on Jaycee’s back to guide her up and make sure she was rock-solid steady before he did anything else. His thoughts spiraled around that simple act. He was right here, ready and willing to help, and yet, she acted as if his help was an annoyance to her. It was like she didn’t even need him, like she didn’t want to need him, even though he knew she wasn’t as strong as she looked.

Then again, wasn’t this exactly the kind of relationship the preacher was just describing between that Paul guy and God? Paul wanted God to take away his weakness so Paul wouldn’t need God. But God left the weakness specifically so Paul would need him. Derek knew the feeling.

He had done a pretty good job of pushing everyone else who had ever gotten close away with his insistence that he didn’t need anybody. In fact, Jaycee herself was a gift from the studio when Brent got worried Derek was taking on too much. Jaycee. He glanced down at her. They were so much alike. What had she said about being the wife of a Type-A who forgot she was even alive?

Pain drove through him, knifing him so suddenly, he had to put his head down. He was that guy. He shook his head slowly to get it to clear. No wonder she didn’t want to be in a relationship with him. Surely she knew what she would be getting. He did, and that was enough for him to realize that he would be the thorn in her side she could never get rid of if he didn’t find a way to let her go.

“God, please,” he whispered only to himself. “Please. I know we can never work, but please, make her well. Take whatever this is away from her.” His head went even further down as her words from the dark pickup about her never finding happiness overtook him. “And help her find somebody, Lord. The right guy. The guy who will know how to take care of her and who will love her the way she deserves to be loved.”

When he looked up, he knew with certainty that wasn’t him, but still, he wanted that for her more than his own next breath. “Please, Lord, help her to find happiness…”

After the service, Jaycee reluctantly accepted her shadow back at her side. He wasn’t going anywhere anyway, and fighting it was going to drain what little energy she had left.

“I guess we’re going to go out to Mom and Dad’s for a while,” Jaycee said, knowing she couldn’t just ditch their hosts but also knowing her sister would see the impending doom of the words.

“Oh?” Sage asked, tilting her head in surprise and concern. Then she picked it up and smiled up at Derek. “That’s great.”

Jaycee wasn’t at all sure ‘great’ would have been the word she would have used for this little outing. In the pickup and buckled, she sat, trying to get her nerves to stand down and shut up. Not a single one of them wanted to make this trip, and neither did she.

“You okay?” Derek asked when he got in, and the way he was looking at her did nothing for her certainty or sanity.

“Oh, yeah. I’m good.”

Still looking at her, he reached for the ignition. “You sure? We don’t have to go if you don’t want.”

Ha. That was funny. If they didn’t go, there would be questions, and she could not deal with the questions—from him or them.

“No, really. I’m fine.”

He nodded as if he knew that was a lie. “K. Well, you’re going to have to give me some directions. This town isn’t big, but I’ve been lost more times than I want to count.”

“Derek,” her mother said when they showed up on the back porch, “we’re so glad you could come. And Jaycee, oh, my, don’t you look just fabulous?”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Thanks for having us, Mrs. Lawrence,” Derek said, ducking.

“Oh, please, call me Emily. We’re not that formal around here. Please, come on in.”              Into the house they went, and in the kitchen, her mother called for her father who came in from the living room.

“Mr. Lawrence,” Derek said, putting out his hand.

“Please, call me Gregory.” They shook hands in the center of the kitchen, and then her father motioned for the table. “Please have a seat.”

“Oh, yes. Please do,” her mother said. “I have some appetizers. I hope mushrooms are all right. The grocery store’s been out of everything.”

“Mushrooms are fine,” Derek said, and Jaycee wondered if he could feel the heavy haze of awkward threatening to overtake the room as much as she could.

Appetizers? They didn’t do appetizers. They were lucky to avoid mac and cheese for every meal. As Derek and her father talked about the town and the projects, Jaycee began to look around the kitchen. It was hard to believe just how much it looked like it always had. The curtains were a bit more faded, the blue and tan wallpaper didn’t look as fresh, the countertops were still that same off-blue Formica. It was hardly a kitchen to be proud of. In fact, she had helped demo some that looked much better than this one did.

The cabinets needed paint. The flooring was abysmal as well, and this table? It was the only one she had ever known, so it was at least 30 years old. She knew Derek well enough to know he was analyzing the place as well, only this place had “Jaycee’s Place” stamped indelibly on it. Had he seen this house before he hired her, he never would have so much as considered her. Of that, she was sure.

“Yeah, we just finished one in Nevada,” Derek was saying.

“Oh, Nevada,” her mother said, coming over and sitting down, gazing at him starry-eyed. “We’ve never been to Nevada. Vegas and all of that.”

“This one was outside of Reno.”

“So much excitement,” she said as if she could soak the excitement of his life into hers. “And to think our Jaycee is right there with the bright lights, directing…”

“I’m not the director, Mom,” Jaycee said with a glance at Derek. “I’m just the assistant.”

“To the Number One designer on the whole Home and Hearth channel,” her mother said. “I’d say that’s a big deal. So, how many projects do you do in a year?”

Jaycee’s gaze slipped once again from her mother to the décor. If she could just think of a way to get them out of here faster…

After lunch, which was really very good though Derek suspected that Mrs. Lawrence, Emily, had never actually made that dish before, he stood to clear the dishes.

“Oh, goodness!” Emily jumped up to stop him. “Derek, no. There’s no need for you to do these. We can get them.”

He laughed. “I can do a few dishes. In fact, I’m getting pretty good at it. Huh, Jayc?”

“No. No, now you are our guest.” Emily took the dish from him. “Jaycee, sweetheart, why don’t you show Derek around? We can have dessert in a little while.”

Her eyes went wide. “Around?”

“Yes. Around. Around the house. I’m sure he would love to see it.”

“Oh.” Jaycee’s eyes went even wider. “Uh, I don’t think…”

However, Derek knew what she would say if he let her, so he didn’t. “I’d love to see the house.”

A silent but very loud conversation passed between mother and daughter before Jaycee sighed. With a tight smile, her gaze came up to his. “Fine. Let’s go see the house.”

Getting dunked into a vat of boiling oil sounded more pleasant, but Jaycee knew she couldn’t not show him the house even as she knew how torturous this would be. Into the living room they went, going right by the fireplace that was old brick and only burned wood. No gas log or even gas-lighted fireplace for them. Oh, no. Absolutely not. The place literally screamed “old” and “out-dated” from every corner and feature.

“This is the living room,” she said as if she was the realtor who knew the client wouldn’t be interested in this property anyway. “Don’t look at the carpet. It’s horrible.” She wanted to say don’t look at anything, but the carpet was what came out, so she went with that. Not stopping, she went to the door on the other side of the room, and Derek followed, clearly trying to take the tour as fast as she was giving it. “And this is the den.”

Brown.

Brown on brown on brown. No pops of color. Nothing even hinting at chic. And the natural light could hardly fight its way through the dusty curtains. Wow. This was embarrassing.

“Down here is the hallway.” She was determined that this was going to be the shortest house tour he had ever taken. “Mom and Dad’s room, my room, the bathroom, the sewing room, that’s where Sage stayed when she was here, and at the other end, Ryder’s room. And then we’re back at the kitchen.”

However, it was then that she realized he had stopped at the open door she had gone right on past.

“So this is your room, huh?” he asked, gazing in but not going in.

“Oh. Uh. Yeah.” Turning, she reached up and scratched at her ponytail. “It’s really nothing special. Just a bedroom. With a bed in it.” She needed to stop talking. She really, really did.

Tilting his head, he puzzled a moment. “I didn’t know you were into red.”

Slowly, she came back his direction, fully prepared to take hold of him and pull him away if need be. “Red? Oh. Uh. Yeah. It was my favorite color.”

They were now standing together in the darkened hallway, gazing into the room, and Jaycee hadn’t remembered how much red she had managed to put into it.

“Was?” he asked, his gaze falling down on her, and Jaycee took a half step away from the magnetism flowing from him.

“Oh, well, yeah. I mean, I guess it still is. I just don’t have much of a place to… hm… you know…” She let that sentence trail off as her gaze traipsed once again into the room she hadn’t been in for years. The feel of it seemed to physically repel her from it. “I wasn’t much into decorating back then.”

“Well, it looks like you were into something,” he said, and somehow that thought dragged him forward into the room where he walked slowly, examining the extensive shelving that still contained every award, medal and trophy she had ever won. Strange how she had never really realized how many of them there were until now, and now all she wanted was for those shelves to be bare.

Following him in, though slowly, she wound her arms up in front of her.

“Wow. Are all of these yours?” he asked, examining each one closely. “Junior League Most Improved. MidWest Tournament MVP. Winchester Invitational Championship.” His gaze swung over to her and then back to the trophies. “They’re all basketball, right?”

“Most of them.” Heat was starting to creep into her consciousness. Why was he here again? “I can’t believe Mom even kept them all. Crazy, right?”

His gaze swept from the medals and trophies over to her again. “Crazy? Why crazy?”

The heat was getting worse. Why did he have to look at her like that? Like he cared, like he was concerned.

“Oh, you know, it was a long time ago. I mean, look at this.” She picked one up off the shelf. “I think I got this in like fifth grade or something. I mean, who even cares anymore? They’re just junk. A waste of perfectly good, usable space.” Setting the thing back on the shelf, she shook her head. “No reason to keep them anymore.”

“Kids?” her mother called from the kitchen.

“Yeah, Mom?” Jaycee called back.

“I’ve got some peach cobbler and ice cream if you’re interested.”

Jaycee tipped her head at him. “Peach cobbler? Wow. She’s pulling out the big guns.”

The big guns? Derek wanted to ask, but everything including the speed-of-light tour had him spinning in so many questions he had no idea where to start.

“Come on,” Jaycee said, and he couldn’t help but think some of her being ready to leave was so he would stop looking at her stuff. He went out the door and noticed that she closed it behind her. Strange, that door was opened when they came down the hallway. Why would she close it now?

They walked out to the kitchen side-by-side, and when her mother looked up, Derek knew exactly what she thought.

“You have a very lovely home,” he said, and in many ways he wasn’t lying. No it wasn’t crystal and quartz as Jaycee always said, but it was comfortable and it held many memories. Memories he would love to know more about. “It reminds me a lot of my mom’s house back home.”

“Oh?” her mother asked as she filled the bowls.

Derek laughed. “Wow. That cobbler smells absolutely delicious. We don’t get many home-cooked meals on the road.” Sitting down at the table, he barely waited for Jaycee to take her own seat before he dug in.

“Well, Jaycee, sweetheart, you should be cooking for Derek. Aren’t you supposed to be his personal attendant person?”

“Assistant,” Jaycee said, burying her gaze into her dessert bowl, which he noticed she barely touched.

“Well, I would think eating properly would be at the top of your list of things to do. He shouldn’t have to live on fast food.”

If she only knew, Jaycee thought, but she said nothing. Now she was supposed to cook too? Yes, she would do just that in all her gobs of spare time.

“I went by the center yesterday,” her dad said. “Looks like they’re making progress with that outside tin.”

Work. More specifically Derek’s work. If they could just stay on that topic, Jaycee might actually live through this.

Derek watched her even as he talked with her parents, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t understand how quiet she had gotten. Long after the desserts were finished, he stretched and sighed. “That was wonderful. Thank you both so much for having us out.”

“Oh, any time,” her mother said. “Any time. You know where we live now.”

Yes, he did, and something in him told him that Jaycee wished he didn’t.

“You know, it’s such a nice day out,” her mother said. “Jaycee, why don’t you take Derek out to the backyard? I’m sure he would love to see it. Of course, it’s not as nice as it was before the storm, but we have gotten all the broken branches picked up.”

She was trying so hard, Derek felt for her. He wasn’t the kind of guy who needed to be impressed, but others seemed to always think he was. Looking over at Jaycee, he had the feeling that getting her out of the house was probably a good idea. She looked like she needed some fresh air.

With a sigh, she stood and crossed toward the door. Derek wondered if this tour would be as fast as the last.

More humiliation. Yay. Just what she needed; however, Jaycee knew by now there was no getting out of this, so when he stood to follow her, once again thanking her mother, she simply started walking and didn’t stop until she was on the back porch. The two white chairs were back, and she sat down in one, emotionally exhausted. She wasn’t sure how much more of this she could take. In only a minute or so, he came out and joined her, sitting in the other chair and putting his head back before closing his eyes.

“This is really nice,” he finally said when she said nothing.

“Yeah, right.” Sarcasm dripped from the words.

His gaze jerked over to hers. “What? It is. Your parents are very gracious people, and they love you a lot.”

Shaking her head, she put it down. “I wouldn’t know why.”

Concerned, his gaze narrowed as anger crossed his face. “So are you always this hard on yourself, or is this a new thing?”

Without looking up from her hands which were folded in front of her, she shook her head slowly. “I always wanted them to be proud of me, you know?” The smile stretched tight on her face as she looked over at him. “Like really proud, so I would know I hadn’t let them down.” Her gaze slipped from his out to the shredded trees beyond where the sunlight and shadows danced. “But…” She shrugged without continuing, shook her head, and looked back down.

A second more and tired of letting her just shut him out all the time, Derek sat up and swung his legs around so they were facing her. “But?”

Still she said nothing, and that worried him even more.

“Come on, Jayc. What is up with you? I mean, I get it, you know, comparing where you grew up to the places we’ve worked on, but I can tell it’s more than that. It’s like you don’t want anyone to see the real you.”

“Anyone?” she asked with a small laugh.

“Okay, me. It’s like you don’t want me to see the real you, who you were, how you got here.”

“Here? Where is here, Derek? Right back where I started?”

Dragging in a long, steadying breath because she was making him so crazy, Derek narrowed his eyes. “What is so wrong with who you were, who you are?”

“Look at me. I’m nothing special. I haven’t set the world on fire. Nobody even knows my name.”

“I do.”

She looked over at him, shrugged slightly, and nodded. “I just thought I had come so far, you know. Like I’d really made something of myself. To come back here, to see… It’s like I never left, like everything I thought I had become, like it was all just some big illusion, like it isn’t even real, and I’m just kidding myself that it is.” Putting her head down, she closed her eyes. “I look at all those trophies, and I remember… you know? I remember winning them, thinking they made me somebody, thinking I was really going places, that the next one would be the one that put me on the map, and now I see, they’re just things to put on a shelf and dust once it a while. Or throw out because what’s the point of keeping them. I worked so hard for them, and now…”

“But they’re a part of you, part of what made you who you are.” He wished he could say all that was on his heart. How special she was to him, how much her determination inspired him, how he had fallen completely and desperately in love with who she was and how she was even if she did make him crazy sometimes, but he wasn’t at all sure if he started where he might end up. “You’ve grown, you’ve learned. That’s something, isn’t it?”

Jaycee tipped her head to one side and shrugged. “Is it?”

“I think it is. I think where you’ve been made you who you are today. Were there some tough lessons along the way? Yes. But those are the kinds of things that shape us the most.” He glanced back. “And for the record, your mom and dad are incredibly proud of who you are and who you’ve become. I see it when they look at you, when they talk about you.”

The laugh was softly sarcastic. “I don’t know about that.”

“Well, I do.” And then, he reached over and took her hand into his. “Listen to me. You should really cut yourself some slack. Your name may not be in lights for the world to see, but please don’t ever think what you do doesn’t matter. I could never do what I do without you. Heck, you’re the glue that holds me together most of the time, and we all know what an impossible job that is.” He paused, just gazing at her. “You are a remarkable, talented, amazing woman, Jaycee Lawrence. Don’t ever think any different because all of that stuff is just a heap of lies.”

His words, the touch of his hand holding hers. Jaycee was falling into all of it, hard and fast. Her heart felt it, and she fought to stop it from happening. He was just being nice, just being Derek. What had she said about the Eskimos?

A moment and she smiled at him. “Thanks… for that.” Retrieving her hand, she put it near her heart and then forced it into her lap as she looked out to the trees beyond, very conscious of the fact that he was still looking at her. “So, do you think they’ll finish the center tomorrow or Tuesday? Ms. P’s been asking when we’re going to start the sandwiches for the crews.”

A boot across the heart couldn’t have hurt any more, and Derek fought not to let it show as he turned back to his own chair and put his head back. “Probably by Tuesday at the latest. We’ll still have a little patchwork to do inside, but the outside and the structure should be ready to go.”

When they left her parents’ house, frustration had taken up residence in Derek’s heart and refused to leave. She was maddening to the core, not even waiting for him to help her into the pickup. Worse, he was hopelessly bad at taking care of her. When she said she could do it, he backed off, and he wasn’t at all sure that was what he should be doing.

Yes, she worked for him, but out here, the lines blurred, hazing to the point he couldn’t tell where one stopped and the next started. “So are you thinking about going to work tomorrow?” he asked, driving slowly through the town.

“Well, of course,” she said with annoyance tracing through her voice. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Derek glanced over at her. “How’s the dizzy thing?”

She waved her hand in the air. “I’m fine. I really think it was just a touch of heat stroke or something.”

One part of him wanted to believe her because then she was fine and there was nothing to worry about. However, another part of him really wanted to press the issue and make sure she wasn’t just being Jaycee the Invincible. “So you haven’t been dizzy since then?”

Trapped. That’s how this felt. Jaycee knew if she told him about the episodes earlier that morning, he was sure to make her stop working or worse go to the doctor. She had no desire to do either. “Really, Derek, I’m fine. I promise.”

He looked over at her again with that same concerned look he’d been wearing since he’d gotten here. “Well, okay. If you promise…”

The next morning Jaycee was smart enough to not sit straight up upon waking. Maybe if she did this slower, the room wouldn’t spin. Rolling to the side, she pulled up an inch another and then up some more. Yes. This was better. Not great. Not perfect, but definitely better. She could do this.

All day on Monday, Derek watched her, making sure she didn’t know he was. While they finished the tin on the center, while they reset the center doors, and even when they went to Rachel’s to inspect the first of the plumbing. He didn’t ask how she was because he knew what she would say if he did. Instead, he watched, hoping if something went awry, he would be able to have cause to do something about it.

Still, there had been nothing, or at least nothing that he saw.

“So are y’all making progress on those cabinets for Ms. P’s?” Jaycee asked as they headed home when all the crews had gone for the day. She was hunched over the checklists in her lap, typing into her phone at record speed. “We’re going to have to start tear-out on those cabinets and reinstall by the end of next week if we’re going to have any hope…” She looked up from the paperwork and did a small sway.

He saw it without so much as realizing he had.

“You okay?” he asked, his own gaze swerving over to her.

“Y-yeah. Wow. Head-rush.” She shook her head softly and went back to the paperwork as if nothing had happened. “Cliff said Rachel’s package is setting up nicely, but they need you over there to do some a couple of stand-ups tomorrow.”

Stand-ups? How could she think about those kinds of things with the dizzy thing returning? He wanted to scream at her, to tell her he knew she wasn’t fine, to make her understand she was driving him nuts. But he knew how she would take that, or wouldn’t take that. As he drove, the anger and frustration mounted. He needed to talk with Sage. Maybe her sister could find a way to talk her into going to the doctor to at least get checked out.

“They got the pastor’s roof papered in today, so we don’t have to worry about rain anymore, and now we can split that crew to finish up the soffit over there while the others finish the center.”

The pickup rolled into the Bakers’ driveway and down across a pothole. That sent her hands shooting out to brace her movement as the paperwork scattered.

“Wow, could we watch where we’re going?” she snapped. “Maybe I should drive.”

Anger split through him, but he bit it back. Fighting with her was not going to solve anything. In what had become their parking spot, he shoved it into park and killed the engine before looking over at her. He wanted to suggest she take it easy tonight, that she leave the work stuff in the truck. He wanted to, but he didn’t.

Instead, he watched as she gathered everything in fistfuls and slid out of her side, dragging all of her work with her. Why couldn’t she just slow down and take it easy? Why couldn’t he find the words to tell her to? He met her at the front of the pickup and walked with her into the house. The smell of supper made his mouth water. He hadn’t been kidding about the home cooking with her mom. For as much as he had always thought he loved his life, there were parts of it that he would trade in a heartbeat. This was one of them.

After supper, Derek and Luke left the others doing dishes to head out to the shop. A small bank of upper cabinets was together and sitting in the corner. Luke was working on a second set of uppers as Derek worked on a Lazy Susan for the lower corner. It wasn’t overly challenging but challenging enough that Luke let him tackle it.

“You know,” Derek said when they’d both gotten started on their projects, “it’s the weirdest thing.”

“What’s that?” Luke asked as he shot nails into the wood with an air nailer.

Derek shook his head. “Yesterday. When we were at the Lawrences’.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, Jaycee was showing me around, you know, the grand tour and everything. I noticed the picture over the mantel. Jaycee couldn’t have been like maybe in middle school, but Sage wasn’t in the picture at all. I mean, she wouldn’t have been what a couple years older than Jayc?”

The nailing slowed though Luke kept working for another minute without saying anything. “You didn’t ask Jaycee about it?”

Okay, so he was a coward of the first order. Did Luke really have to point out that fact? “I never know what I can ask and what I can’t with her. We went into her room to look around, and she acted like I’d just declassified a national security secret. I want to ask, but it’s like all personal information is on complete and total lock down.”

When Luke kept nailing without replying, Derek stopped measuring and turned.

“This must be some secret,” Derek finally said. He stood and came over to where Luke was finishing up the nails. “I need to know, Luke. Why is Sage not in that picture?”

Two more nails and Luke straightened, shook the cabinet to make sure it was sturdy and then went over to the workbench. “When Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence were first married, things got kind of rocky.”

Derek watched his friend’s back, being very still so he wouldn’t miss a single word.

“Mr. Lawrence got a job offer in California, and he took it, leaving her here.” Luke turned and leaned on the workbench. He nodded twice before he kept going. “While he was out there, he had an affair, and then they patched things up and he came back home.”

Pieces started moving around inside Derek’s head and heart, and he wasn’t sure where any of them would land. “So wait, is Sage older or younger than Jaycee?”

“Six months older,” Luke said, and as the air whooshed from him, Derek sat down on one of the cabinets sitting there. Luke took one look at him and nodded. “Yeah. Sage used to come out for visits when she was little, and then she quit for a long time. She came back what turned out for good when Jayc was a junior.”

“That’s why she said the sewing room was where Sage stayed when she came.”

Luke nodded again. “Sage showing up pretty much blew Jaycee’s world out of the water for a long time. It was really tough on her.”

“And then you guys got together.”

“Yeah, and Jayc was thrilled about that,” Luke said with sarcasm scraping the edges of the statement.

Derek puzzled over that a moment. “But… now… you’d never know it. They act like…”

“Sisters.”

“Yeah,” Derek said as much as a question as a point of fact.

“Didn’t happen overnight, but thankfully, they eventually buried the hatchet.”

Then without him realizing they were there, new pieces started dropping into place, pieces Derek didn’t at all like to see or acknowledge. How many women had he gone out with, leaving Jaycee behind at the hotel? How many times had she seen him with someone he’d just met, her on his arm or draped over him, his arm around her? No wonder Jaycee kept her distance. No wonder she wanted nothing to do with him. If she was afraid she was going to get hurt like her mother had, he had given her plenty of reasons to think she was headed for that same heartache if she got anywhere near him. He wound his arms up in front of him, seeing, understanding, and yet not wanting to. “So, Jaycee doesn’t trust guys very far then.”

Luke shook his head. “Jaycee doesn’t trust anyone very far. She watched her mom all those years, and then she watched her family nearly get busted up on the rocks of what someone cheating can do to a family.” This head shake was slower, almost not even there. “I’m not sure she’s ever really gotten over it.”

Chapter 21

The house was quiet by the time they made it back inside, and Derek knew she was already asleep. That was okay because he was still struggling with how to even talk about this with her, or if he even should.

“Night,” Luke said on his way to his room.

“Night,” Derek said, thinking for a minute he should just go on to bed as well. However, the couch looked like a good place to stop and think for a while. He was afraid if he went to bed, he’d just lay there spinning in all the pieces anyway. So he sat down in the dim lamplight and put his head back on the sofa. It was older. Orange and brown. Surely a hand-me-down.

That was one thing about Luke and Sage, they were practical and down-to-earth people. No crystal and quartz for them. At that moment he heard the tiny cry followed by the louder one, and his gaze jerked over to the hallway when he heard the door. Another second and Sage appeared with Macy.

“Shhh-shhh-shhh-shh.” She was two steps into the room before she saw him and pulled up short. “Oh. Derek. Uh. Huh. I thought everyone was already in bed.”

“Little one’s having trouble sleeping again?” he asked. He’d heard the late-night whimpers and cries from safely down the hallway, but he’d never been at an actual performance.

“Huh. Yeah.” Sage’s gaze went down to her child. “She hasn’t been the same since the storm. It really did a number on her sleeping schedule.” She was still standing there, bouncing Macy gently, not moving farther into the room or looking like she even knew if she should.

“It’s okay,” he said suddenly realizing how awkward he had made her existence. “I should really get on to bed.” He stood, and ducking, she skirted in front of him and over to the rocking chair. When she was there, Derek knew he should leave, but there was something so intimate about the picture she made sitting there, holding her child, soothing her as only a mother could.

“Hey, shhh, pumpkin. Shhh.” Picking her up, Sage laid her on her shoulder, and the cries stopped even as the soft whimpers continued.

He should go to bed. He shouldn’t bring more trouble into her life. She was carrying enough. Derek knew it, and as he watched her, he knew he would never willingly dump more burdens on her. However, just as he turned to go, Sage’s gaze slipped over to him.

“How’s Jayc?”

In the next breath his gaze latched onto hers, and he knew she saw the worry. Shaking his head, he put his gaze down so she wouldn’t see what she already had. “Stubborn as a mule.” He sighed. “I really think she needs to go in.”

Panic jerked through her. “Why? Did something happen?”

He shrugged, searching through it all. “Yes, and no. Just… she’s so careful about everything. And then tonight in the truck, she was doing some work, and she got all swimmy-headed again.”

“Again?” That pulled Sage’s worry out for real. “But she said she thought she was getting better tonight when we were doing dishes. She said...”

“I’m beginning to think she says a lot of things so we won’t worry about her.”

A mix of anger and deep worry marred Sage’s sweet face. “I knew it. I knew she wasn’t telling me the whole truth. It’s just like all those nights…” She stopped as her gaze jumped up to his, fear slip-sliding through her countenance.

“Nights?” Derek asked, turning all the way back into the room. “What nights?”

Sage looked up at him like she was six and had just tipped over the flower pot. “Nights?” She giggled softly. “What nights? Did I say nights? Why would I say that? I have no idea.”

Derek leveled his gaze at her, thought for one second and then took two strides over to the ottoman in front of her. “Sage?”

She lifted her eyebrows as if hoping he would forget the slip. “What?”

But he wasn’t letting this go. Not this time. “What nights?”

Her expression fell from hopeful to concerned and then all the way toward acquiescence. Finally, she sighed and shook her head. “She’s so going to kill me.”

“What nights?”

Like she’d just eaten a rotten lemon, Sage quirked her lips. “The nights when she was on the road, with you.”

How did he know this was going to be bad news? However, he was smart enough not to react.

“Yeah, I’d call to check on her, to see how she was, where y’all where, things like that. And a lot of the times she was wherever you were… by herself.” Sage looked like she’d rather be hung out and dried than to continue, but she did anyway. “She always said she was fine, that it was okay, just part of the job.” She shrugged. “But I always heard what she wouldn’t tell me, how lonely she was, how alone she was. And then you came here, and…”

He waited as long as his heart would let him. “And…?”

Sage let her eyes go closed. “Seriously, she’s going to kill me for telling you this. You know that, right?”

“Listen, I just want what’s best for her, Sage. I do. You have to believe me. But I’m just having a really hard time trying to figure out what that is.”

She nodded several times before her gaze finally came up to his. “You really are charming.”

Derek wasn’t sure how they’d just gone through the guardrails and off of that cliff.

“I mean, sometimes when a girl’s been broken by things, by life, she learns that charming is a really great way to get your heart smashed. But that doesn’t always mean your heart doesn’t fall anyway.” Soft concern floated through her eyes. “You’re a great guy, Derek. Charming. Fascinating. You’re the kind of guy who can talk a girl out of her own best judgment.”

“I don’t… I’m…”

“All those nights Jaycee spent at some random hotel in Colorado or Connecticut or Kalamazoo… alone. She was always so fine, nothing was ever wrong, why would I think that? But I knew she really wasn’t. She was doing exactly what she’s doing now, trying to convince me not to believe my own eyes and ears. That she’s not hurting that bad, that what’s going on isn’t threatening to kill her.”

He took a moment to process that. It wasn’t easy. Just how callous had he been to her anyway? His thoughts slipped over to the couch across the room, and the depth of his own stupidity crowded in on him. A second and he dragged his gaze back up to Sage’s. “Luke told me tonight… about your dad and your family and everything.”

Her gaze fell, and she rocked slowly, the child now sleeping soundly on her shoulder. “It’s really hard when you grow up not being able to trust the people who are supposed to care the most about you. And sometimes, you fall into the trap of believing that what happened to them is going to happen to you, that there’s really nothing you can do to make your life turn out differently. She doesn’t say it, but I know Jaycee has always had this force field around her with lasers and tasers and barbed wire to keep people out, so they won’t hurt her. Trust me, I ran into that one headlong. But the truth is, she’s a lot more fragile than she ever wants anyone to know.”

Derek was beginning to see that in ways he had never known possible. There was only one question left, and a large part of him didn’t really want to know the answer. “Does she hate me?”

Slowly Sage shook her head. “No. She doesn’t hate you. She just knows she can’t trust herself with you.”

She can’t trust herself with you. How many times had those words gone through his mind through the rest of the night? That was it. The thing standing between them. But how could he convince her she could take a chance on him? And should he even try? She was right, after all. She was.

She’d spent more nights than he wanted to count being convinced over and over again that he was a player, that he had no long-term interest in anyone, much less her. Sage wasn’t the only one who had heard the “I’m fine” speech. Never once had she complained when he left. Never once had she asked for a night out for herself to go do something fun, to go find someone who might treat her like she deserved to be treated.

No. She had followed him, without complaint all over the country, and he had taken every single thing she’d done for granted. Then, to top it off when they got here, he’d made a play for her. What was she supposed to think? That she’d be any different than any of the others he’d gone out with at night and forgotten by morning?

Rolling over, he punched his pillow and swiped his hand over his forehead. He just needed to face the fact that she needed someone better than him, someone with more to give. Someone to sweep her off her feet and never let her fall again. “God,” he said to the ceiling because it was as far as he could see, “please show me what to do here. I’m so confused, so incredibly confused.”

The room didn’t even give Jaycee a chance to get conscious enough to remember to take moving slowly the next morning when her alarm went off. Instead, she rolled over and very nearly went right off the planet. “Oh!”

Clutching at the blankets, she fought to stabilize the topsy-turvy world as she lay very, very still, but it wasn’t working. “Breathe,” she told herself as she blinked and gasped in the spiraling darkness. “Okay. We’re okay. It’s going to be okay.” She squinted and forced herself to slow the panic creeping over her even as she willed the violent swirling to stop. “We can do this. Just go slow.” Still holding onto the blankets, she pulled herself forward and up. The spinning was nearly incomprehensible. “Oh, gosh. Wow. Okay. Don’t do that.”

Her stomach heaved even as she fought for breath. Letting the air out slowly, she blinked and blinked again, fighting not to get sick. “Oh, man.” One breath, two. Finally, the spinning slowed. She didn’t dare shake her head lest she get it started again. “Okay, we’re going to have to do this very slowly. One foot.” The first foot made it to the floor, and she was still upright, which she counted as a victory. “Two.” The second followed. “Good job.”

Fear clutched her chest at the thought of what came next. “Okay, here we go. Stand up. Careful. Careful. Go slow.” And somehow she was standing. She realized then that she should have turned on a light prior to trying this, but it was too late for that. “Go slow. Don’t do anything stupid.”

A step and another. Reaching out, she found the bedpost and then reaching the other way, she prayed all the way to the closet. “No sudden movements, girl. Just do this slow. We’ll be okay.”

It had been a long, difficult night, and the morning hadn’t helped much of anything. Derek dressed, still trying to figure out how to broach the growing number of subjects they needed to discuss. He was sorry. He should start there he finally decided. That was as good of a place as any.

One breath at a time, Jaycee got herself dressed and as ready as she was going to get. Strange how things like make-up and hair paled on the importance scale when balance and stability were struggling so mightily. Having done all she could do for her appearance, she stood from the small vanity, stopped to fully find her balance, and took a small step and then another to the door, reaching for it because just where it was in the scope of her shifting vision was less than certain.

Finding it, she let out another breath of thanksgiving. Panic and victory. They were her only two states now. However, she couldn’t very well keep feeling for things like this. They were going to know something was really wrong. One more moment to straighten her top, and she opened the door and threaded herself through the doorway carefully, hoping she could get through it without crashing into it. Every solid step was a small victory.

The light was on in the kitchen, and she could hear the voices.

“God, help me get through this,” she whispered.

Derek was in the middle of making eggs when Jaycee came into the kitchen. One look, and he knew her brave front was one tap away from shattering.

“Morning,” she said, her voice trying desperately not to be shaky.

He said nothing because worry had dissolved all words.

“Morning,” Sage said, looking over at her sister with concern, “how are you?”

“I think I overslept. That smells good.” Softly, her gaze came over to his and held there as she pleaded with him to play along. “You making me some?”

“They’re almost done,” he said, hating himself for not doing something to stop this madness. “Why don’t you have a seat?”

She didn’t argue. That was a bad sign. And as she sat, he saw how firmly she held onto the chair and how gently she sat down. Another bad sign. That was it. They were calling for an appointment, and that’s all there was to it.

Jaycee knew the gig was up by the time breakfast was over. She was fooling no one. The only question now was the logistics of getting to the doctor. “I think I might take the car,” she said, and all three of the adults at the table literally stopped eating. She reached for her juice and took a small sip. “I think I’ll call and go in to Greely this afternoon.”

Sage lowered her fork. “Oh?”

A second and Jaycee nodded. “I’ve got to do something. I think this is getting worse.”

The others looked at each other, making a plan without saying anything.

“You don’t need to be driving,” Luke said. “Not like this.”

“I can take you,” Sage said. “Mom can watch the girls.”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” Jaycee said, hating to mess up their afternoon because she couldn’t deal with this on her own.

“No, Jayc,” Derek said and his hand came over hers.

She closed her eyes to block out how solid it felt, how good it felt, how comfortingly strong, and she found herself swaying even with her eyes closed.

“You’re not going alone. Now either Sage will take you or I will. But you’re not driving.”

Letting out a slow breath because she was terrified of just how badly the room might be spinning when she opened her eyes, she squinted to make sure it wasn’t first before she looked at him. “I know. I just…”

“Are going to let us help.”

That she had decided to go to work with him did nothing good for Derek. He’d told her she should stay with Sage until they could get an appointment and go to Greely. However, she promised to take it easy, but with the sandwich brigade set to start today, she wanted to make sure Ms. P had everything she needed. At least that’s what she said, so Derek had finally relented and let her come.

At the center, he walked with her, his hand on her back into the building and over to the kitchen.

“I just want to make sure the grocery store delivered everything,” Jaycee said, heading for the kitchen at the far end of the building. “It’s too bad there’s no caterer in town, but Ms. P said she should be here by ten to start. She said she asked a couple of the ladies from church to help too.”

At the refrigerator, Jaycee pulled the door open, and her balance tipped off-kilter. In one breath, Derek reached for her and arrested her movement.

“Whoa.” Grabbing onto him, she swayed like a ten-story building in wind storm.

“Jayc?” His patience with her bravery was thinning dangerously. “This is crazy.”

“I’m going in. I’ll make the appointment as soon as nine o’clock gets here. I promise.”

“We should’ve made it a week ago.” Then as he looked at her, it was clear her world was not righting itself.

Her breaths slid into shallow, and her eyes slipped closed.

“Jayc? Jayc.” At that moment he’d waited long enough. “Okay. That’s it. We’re going to the doctor. Hold on.” Sweeping his arm under her knees, he lifted her from the ground and settled her in next to him.

That brought her awake. “Derek? What’re you doing?”

“What I should have done to begin with.”

“No. It’s not nine yet. They won’t even be open yet. We should just wait.” She was fighting but only with her words. Her body was limp up against his.

He kicked the refrigerator door closed and headed for the first door, threading himself and her through it very carefully.

“Sage was going to take me.”

“Was is right. I’ll call and let her know I’m going to take you.”

“But…”

Just as they got to the second door, it swung open, and they came face-to-face with Caleb.

“Jaycee? What’s wrong?” Caleb asked. “What happened?”

“She’s sick. I’m taking her in to Greely. You guys will have to do it without us.”

“When… when will you be back?”

“When we get back.”

The whole world was tilting and tipping so much that Jaycee couldn’t make enough sense of it to put up much of a protest. She knew she should because he didn’t need to be missing work on her account, but every time she tried, he didn’t really act like he heard her. In the pickup, he sat her down and buckled her in before shutting the door very softly.

He got in on the other side already talking on the phone.

“Yeah. No. We’re not waiting. Yeah, she practically passed out at the community center. I don’t know, the ER if we have to.” He glanced over at her. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Okay. Yeah. I’ll let you know.”

That call ended, and in one motion, he had the pickup started and was dialing the next number. “Hey, Luke. Yeah, listen…”

Most of the way to the clinic in Greely Jaycee spent either coaching herself that it wasn’t as bad as she was making it or fading out completely. The sensation of movement seemed to never stop, and it was making her seriously sick to her stomach. He drove carefully, monitoring her the whole way. She knew he was worried, and she felt bad about that, but she had no idea what to do about it.

When they got to Greely, she heard him speaking into his phone for directions, and Jaycee had the thought that she should tell him how to get there. She fought to figure out just where they were. It had been so long since she’d been through here. The clinic was by the florist. She remembered that, but was it the first light or the second? Before she figured it out, she realized the GPS was already on the case, and she gave up trying to figure it out.

The Greely Family Health Clinic was hardly state-of-the-art, and Derek had the thought that maybe they should try something in a town bigger than a postage stamp. However, he wasn’t sure what or where that would be or how long it would take to get there. No. For starters this was where they were stopping.

He pulled up at the curb, looked at the building and then at her. “It’s ten minutes before they open.”

Her nod was barely there.

“We could go to the ER. Luke said if we need to get in quick…”

“No,” she said weakly. “We can wait. I just want to sit here for a little… bit…” Her eyelids slid down and stayed.

Shutting off the truck, Derek unclicked his seatbelt and slid over to her. He clicked hers off as well and slipped his arm around her shoulders, gathering her next to him. She was so small, so fragile. She didn’t protest, didn’t even speak, and sitting there, like that, he said the most heartfelt prayer of his life. “Please, dear God, let them hurry.”

They didn’t normally do things like this, the nurse kept saying, but their first appointment was late, and Jaycee looked so bad. So the nurse brought them on to the back and settled Jaycee onto the little table with the crinkly paper. She said the doctor was on-site and would be with them shortly, and then she went out.

“Derek?” Jaycee asked from the table as if panicked that he might abandon her.

“I’m right here,” he said, coming to the side of the bed where she lay.

She reached for his hand, which he gave her, and who was holding on to whom was impossible to tell. He bent down so he could look at her, and reaching up, he smoothed her hair with his other hand.

“Just hang in there. The doc is going to be here any minute.”

“Don’t…” she breathed. “Don’t leave. Okay?”

“Okay. I won’t.”

Thankfully the nurse was not wrong, and the doctor came in barely ten minutes later. “Well, what do we have here?”

“She’s really dizzy,” Derek said, never letting go of her hand even as he continued to stroke her hair, his gaze never really leaving her.

“And how long has this been a problem, Ms… Lawrence? Jaycee Lawrence? Well, I’ll be.” He tipped his head to look down at her. “It is you. My. My. My. Wow, it’s been a quite a few years.”

Derek couldn’t at all tell how much Jaycee was even understanding. He looked up to figure out what the doctor was talking about. “I’m sorry. Do we…?”

“Doctor Braun. I used to sponsor your league basketball team when you were just a little spitfire on the court.”

“Ah. Doctor Braun,” she squeaked out, and Derek could hear how hard she was trying to not appear ill. “Good to see you again.”

“So what seems to be the trouble?” he asked again, and because the question was so clearly not meant for him, Derek took a breath instead of answering for her.

“I’m really dizzy. It started like a week ago, mostly when I got out of bed. But it’s happened a few times during the day too.” Her gaze slipped to Derek’s and there was an apology in them.

“So it’s mostly, what, when you shift positions.”

“Down to up is the worst, but up to down can get me too.”

The doctor nodded. “Can you sit up for me?”

“Uh, yeah. I think so.” However, midway up she tipped dangerously, and Derek caught her, holding her so she wouldn’t fall. “Whoa. Whee.”

She was trying to make light of it, but this whole thing was making him a nervous wreck.

“And when you turn your head?” the doctor asked.

Jaycee did so, right and then left. “That’s not too bad, but down up is just… wow. Not good at all.”

He pulled out a little light and shined it into each eye, checking and making notes. Then he checked her ears. “Have you ever heard of vertigo?”

“Yeah, like the ride thing?”

“Yep. That’s where they get the name of it.” He stepped back and addressed her. “Vertigo is actually quite common. It happens when otoliths, or tiny stones in your ear get displaced, and they don’t allow the normal fluid in the inner ear to move as it should. That’s how the body’s balance is regulated. When that happens, it throws the balance off, and you feel like you’re moving even when you’re not.

“Then when you try to adjust to the movement that’s really not happening, it sets off a chain reaction that your brain can’t really process, and we get the issue of falls or running into doors, loss of depth perception. Things like that.”

“Is it bad?” Jaycee asked, her gaze cutting over to Derek who hadn’t moved an inch.

“Well, it can lead to bad things, tripping, falling, nausea. That kind of thing.”

“But it’s treatable, right?” Derek asked.

“Yes. It amounts to a simple exercise done a time or two a day until the symptoms subside. I’ll show you how to do it. Then when you get home, I want you to do it a couple of times each day for the first few days. But you will need someone with you when you do it as it’s pretty challenging to do on your own, not to mention that it can and often does make you extremely dizzy.”

“Oh, yay,” Jaycee said. “Just what I wanted to hear.”

“Also, until this clears up, I want you to stay, if not in bed, then at least in a chair. No running, climbing, jumping, driving… working.”

Derek knew she must be feeling rotten because she didn’t even protest. Then again, he knew he would be the one to make sure she followed the doctor’s orders. That should be fun especially when the acute phase of this ended.

“You need to rest and most of all to minimize the chances of balance-disruption accidents.”

On the surface of the idea, the exercise as the doctor called it wasn’t too bad, but Derek quickly understood why the doctor made it a point that someone needed to be there to help her. The first time the doctor did it to her, she nearly fell off the table, and Derek was glad he was there to catch her before she did. Dizzy would have been kind comparatively.

“You okay?” he asked, holding onto her, terrified she might fall right off the table even with him trying to keep her from it.

“No. Ugh.” Her hand shot out and gripped his when it latched on. The breaths were hard, more like inside-out gasps. “Maybe? I hope so. No. Not really.” She slammed her eyes closed and took three more breaths before the panic began to subside. “Wow. That is so not fun.”

“Good. Good,” the doctor said. “Okay. Your eyes are already making far less movement than they were before. Now, I want you to do this at least twice a day. You will need to help her. Do you feel comfortable doing that?”

90-degree angles had never felt so frightening. “Y-yeah,” Derek managed though medical intervention was far outside his comfort zone. “I think so.”

“Good. Now, I want you to call me if you don’t start feeling much better in a few days. And I mean it, rest and no doing anything strenuous or anything that requires balance for five full days. That takes us through Sunday so at least until Monday. I’d like to see you back here next Tuesday or Wednesday for a follow-up. You can make your appointment with Linda on your way out. Any questions?”

“No. I don’t think so,” Jaycee said, and Derek could hear how tired she was.

And with that, the doctor left them to collect themselves and make their way out. Derek was learning not to let go of her because when he did, she often pitched hard right with no real warning. He would get her out of here and home, and then they would find a way to deal with this new, albeit hopefully temporary, way of being.

“Vertigo?” Sage asked as Derek helped Jaycee into the bed and down under the covers. “Like the ride?”

“Huh. Yeah,” Jaycee laughed softly. “It feels like a ride.”

“It’s not serious,” Derek said, “so long as she does the exercises a couple times a day and takes it easy. He said she should be good as new in a week or so.”

Jaycee looked up at him, grateful but embarrassed. “Thanks for taking me.”

Reaching down, he ran his hand over the top of her head slowly. “Just don’t do that again. Okay? You about scared me to death.”

“K.” She felt bad about that. “I won’t.”

The crew was finishing the wall paneling in the interior of the center by the time Derek made it back to work.

“’bout time you get back. We thought you two done skipped town on us,” Alex said, half-joking. “How’s Jaycee?”

Derek shook his head. “She’s been better, but she’s gonna live.”

“That’s good to hear. You want to go over this area with the water fountain again? It’s been giving us fits.”

Derek looked over to the kitchen where he could see the women already working on the sandwiches. “Let me check on the cooks, and I’ll do the ones around the fountain.”

“Great by me.”

Leaving them, Derek went to the kitchen where he found Ms. P directing four other women.

“Well, there you are,” Ms. P said when she looked up to find him standing in the doorway. “Now, what took so long? You had us all worried sick. How’s Ms. Jaycee? Is she okay? Is everything all right? It’s not serious, is it?”

The laugh escaped before he could snag it. “Jaycee’s going to be fine. Caught herself a good case of vertigo, but some rest and a few days off, she’ll be good as new.”

Ms. P sighed. “Oh, praise the Lord. Now that is some mighty good news. That little girl really needs someone to look out for her, shouldn’t be going through life all alone like that. I should make up a pot of my chicken soup for you to take to her. That would fix her right up.”

“I’m sure she would love it.” He looked over her head to the others. “How’s everything here? You have everything you need?”

“We’re ready. We’ll have about fifty-five sandwiches, chips, and drinks all ready to go by noon. Jaycee gave me the schedule for the crews yesterday, so we should be ready for everybody. The pastor got the tables and chairs up last night, so yeah, it looks good.”

“Okay. Great. Well, since you have this handled, I’m just going to go in there and get some work done.”

Ms. P laughed a hearty laugh. “Be nice for a change, huh?”

“You got that right.”

Jaycee slept until almost four o’clock. She probably shouldn’t have, but the fact that the room was no longer spinning when she was sleeping helped immensely. When she awoke, she looked over at the clock and rolled gingerly halfway over just as Sage walked by the door. Her sister stopped and took two steps back to look into the room at her.

“Well, hallelujah. The dead has arisen.” Coming in, holding the newly folded towels in her arms, Sage gazed down at her. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired.”

Nodding, Sage sat down on the bed. “Are you hungry? You haven’t eaten all day.”

“A little. Mostly just tired though.”

“Well, Derek said the doctor said you’re supposed to rest as much as possible, so I guess that’s a good thing.”

The memories of him holding her, balancing her, being right there traced across her heart. “Did Derek go back to work?”

“He did.” Sage laid the towels on her lap. “He’s a really nice guy, Jayc.”

“I know that.” Jaycee pulled the covers under her arms and let out a hard exhale. “I never said he wasn’t.”

“You freaked him out—like really, seriously bad. You freaked us all out. Mom wanted to go to Greely this morning when I called her.”

“Mom? You called Mom? Why would you do that?”

Sage shook her head. “They’re not the enemy, Jayc. They’re not. They just want what’s best for you, like we all do. I know you think you’re supposed to be all strong and stuff, but sometimes, I think that’s just a good excuse to push us all away.”

“Whoa. Where did that come from? I’m not…”

Her sister smiled softly. “I know you’re not. I’m just saying it wouldn’t kill you to let us help sometimes.”

“How’s Jaycee?” Caleb asked about two seconds after Derek got to Rachel’s around five. He’d hardly made it in the front door.

“She’s good. Some vertigo, but besides that, she’s good.”

Caleb shook his head with deepening concern. “Oh, man. I bet you were freaked.”

“That’s one way to put it.” Derek looked past him. “What do we have going?”

Looking back, Caleb turned and led Derek into the main floor work space. “Well, most of the sheetrock is up. The mold removal guys finished up upstairs yesterday, so the crew’s up there working on reinsulating the last two rooms. Rachel came by, and we went over the final plans for the cabinets and paint colors.”

The memory of Jaycee saying that Caleb had a sweet spot for Rachel slipped into Derek’s mind, and he half-smiled. “So how is Rachel anyway? I’m sure this has to be tough on her with the kids and everything.”

“She’s good.” Caleb nodded, crossing his arms in front of him. “Tougher than anybody should ever have to be. She keeps worrying about how much everything’s going to cost. It was all I could do to talk her out of Formica countertops.”

Derek laughed. “That seems to be a theme in these parts.”

“Yeah, well, we ended up going with the cheaper floors, and she nixed the crown molding too, said she’d rather we used that money on the pastor’s house.”

Shaking his head, Derek sighed. “We’ve got the pastor’s house in the budget already.”

“I know.” Caleb shrugged. “That’s what I tried to tell her, but she wasn’t having any of it. She just keeps saying all she needs is a roof over her and her babies’ heads and she’ll be happy.”

“Okay. Well, if we’re not doing the crown molding, is there anything else we could do for her, something you think she’d really like that would really make a difference?”

His foreman paused just a moment as if trying to decide if it was safe to make the suggestion. “Well, actually, I had thought about something, but I wasn’t sure we’d have the money for it.”

“What’s that?”

“Well, she’s been trying to get a baking business off the ground. Nothing big. Cakes for birthdays and anniversaries, things like that.”

“A double oven,” Derek said, knowing exactly where they were going with this.

“That was my thought.”

Glancing into the kitchen, Derek’s mind figured the space needed and the space they had. “And there’s room?”

“Yeah, we’ll have to reconfigure just a little, but we can make it work.”

Derek nodded. “Then let’s do it.”

“Derek,” Cliff said, coming in from the door, “I’ve been looking all over for you. How’s Jaycee?”

He should have tape recorded it so he could just hit play, but he relayed the information just the same.

“Oh, good. I was really praying it wasn’t something major. That’s what happened to my aunt a few years back, and that one didn’t end so well.”

Derek was really glad he didn’t know that this morning.

“So can we get these standups for this place done? We’re running a little behind on getting them done at every place, and Jaycee said you’d be able to do them today.”

Sure, all the projects were going without him. Sure, Jaycee was back home in bed, and he wanted to check on her. Sure, he was on total and complete overload. But they needed the standups, and he was the one who had to do them. “Sure. Let’s get it done.”

Alex found him shortly after six. “I’m about to head out, boss, but I got to thinking. We’ll get the center all finished up tomorrow, and they’re practically finished with the pastor’s roof too. So we’ll probably be ready to move to the inside of the pastor’s and the church by tomorrow or day after at the latest. I haven’t seen any specs on what you’re going to want done with those yet.”

Derek exhaled. “Yeah, I haven’t gotten to them.” He shook his head. “Tell you what, I’ll run over to the pastor’s right now and get things lined out for the inside. It’s mostly that south wall as usual, but I’ll take a look at it and let you know what we’re going to need by tomorrow.”

“Sounds good.”

As Derek drove from Rachel’s over to the pastor’s, he knew he needed to let the others know where he was. What he really wanted to do was call Jaycee, but he knew she needed the rest, and she would ask about the jobs, and he would tell her, and she would worry, so he called Luke instead.

“Y-ello,” Luke said, answering the call. “This is Luke. Talk to me.”

“Hey, Luke. This is Derek. Listen, I’m kind of tied up in town for a little bit. I have to go over and see what we’re doing on the inside of the pastor’s house. I just didn’t want you guys wondering where I was.”

“You need some help?”

“Oh, no. No. I’ve got it, but you might be on your own for the cabinets for a while. I’m not sure how long this will take.”

“Sure thing. Just don’t forget about us.”

“Not possible. See you as soon as I get there.”

“Sounds good.”

“Oh,” Derek said, “and Luke?”

“Yeah?”

He let out a breath and closed his eyes as he pulled up at the pastor’s. “Tell Jaycee…”

When he didn’t finish that thought, Luke laughed. “I’ll tell her. See ya, buddy.” And before Derek could correct whatever horrible misperception he’d had, Luke hung up.

The sounds of life coming back into the house after it being so quiet all day made Jaycee glad she’d decided to run off the health cliff here. At least she wasn’t all alone somewhere she couldn’t even spell. Carefully, she sat up, got her balance, and stood. The room tipped, and she closed her eyes, thinking it should have been better than this by now.

When the swaying stopped, she suddenly realized she needed to go to the bathroom. Going as fast as a racing turtle, she went over to the door, but just as she got there, it tilted and swayed in front of her and rather than going through the door, she went right into it. “Oh! Ow! Ugh!”

“Jaycee!”

She heard her name from two directions, and in the next second, Sage came from the living room and Luke from the kitchen.

“Are you okay? What did you do? What are you doing up?” Luke asked clearly not happy. “You’re not supposed to be getting up on your own.”

“Bathroom?” Jaycee said weakly, holding her forehead and really hoping there wouldn’t be a knot. Derek would kill her if he found out she wasn’t following orders.

Sage corkscrewed her face. “You could ask.”

“I thought I could do it.”

“Well, come on,” her sister said, hooking her arm into Jaycee’s. “Let’s get you to the bathroom before you run into something else.”

“I’m really sorry to do this after hours,” Derek said as he stood on the pastor’s front porch. “It’s just with everything going on and then Jaycee getting sick.”

“How is Jaycee?” the pastor asked. “I hope it’s nothing serious.”

“She’ll be fine. Some rest and following doctor’s orders, I think she’ll be back good as new by next week.”

“That’s good news. Oh. Come, come on in.”

Derek follow the pastor into the hallway. It was still tight, and still unbelievably plain.

“I’m guessing you’re going to want to look in my study.” The pastor led the way into the room. On one side was a large desk, and there was a small sitting area on the other. “Don’t look at the mess. I keep thinking I should take a week or two and try to get organized, but the longer I’m here, the more stuff I accumulate.” At the other wall, he pulled the lamp away. “This sheetrock got the biggest bit of water damage. See?”

And he was right. In fact, if Derek didn’t miss his guess, that part had been leaking long before the hurricane. “Has it been like that for a while?”

“Yeah. I kept meaning to get it fixed, but…”

Stepping past him, Derek angled his gaze up. The ceiling had a water stain and the wall did too. “Do you mind if I go up into the attic and check out what’s going on up there?”

Surprise lit on the pastor’s face. “No. I don’t mind at all.”

They had both consented to let Jaycee sit at the table for supper although both looked ready to jump to her aid at a moment’s notice.

“So how was school?” Sage asked the boys, keeping one watchful eye on her sister.

“Great,” Jeremiah said. “I aced my history test.”

“How about you, Andrew?” Luke asked as he ate the casserole.

“Good.”

“Coach said Andrew’s jump shot is really getting better,” Jeremiah said. “He wanted to know where he learned that.”

Jaycee smiled. “Way to go, Andrew. Our secret, right?” She held up her fist, and he tapped it. “We work on your dribbling and three-pointers, you’ll be unstoppable.”

“Dribbling and three-pointers?” Sage asked, her voice going up three pitches. “Shouldn’t we work on getting you through doors without crashing into them first?”

Waving her off, Jaycee grinned as she leaned carefully toward Andrew. “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” She put out her fist, and he bumped it again, fighting back a grin.

Sage shook her head. “You people. I don’t know what it is about your obsession with that round ball. I’m sure Derek will be thrilled.”

“Where is Derek anyway?” Jaycee asked. “Shouldn’t he be here by now?”

Luke looked at Sage. “He had to run over to the pastor’s to get that lined out. He should be here any time.”

Lined out. Jaycee put her head down. He was behind because she’d fallen out of line. He was picking up her slack. As jazzed as she was about Andrew, the knowledge that she was letting Derek down annihilated any sense of the good she had managed to do. Why that always happened, she couldn’t quite tell.

“I’m afraid this is a lot worse than we thought,” Derek said as Pastor Steve followed him into the office. “Originally I thought it was probably just a leak right above it from the roof, but it actually starts farther up on the roofline. There must have been a shingle fail up there some time long before the hurricane. The insulation’s got some mold damage in the attic and down this wall at least and maybe this one too, so that will have to be replaced, and then of course the sheetrock in here will have to go too. And since we’re replacing this section, we’ll have to repaint, and if we’re doing that, we probably could go ahead and refinish your built-ins if you want.”

“That sounds like a lot of work,” the pastor said with raised eyebrows.

Derek made notes in his small book—supplies, measurements, and thoughts. “It’s a little more than I thought, but it shouldn’t be too bad. We scheduled a full ten days for this one. We squeezed an extra day out on Saturday thanks to your boys.”

“You know, I’m really impressed,” the pastor said as he sat on the edge of his desk.

With a shake of his head, Derek shrugged. “It’s just a roof.”

“No. Not just the roof.”

Glancing up, Derek tipped his head. “Oh. That.”

“No, really. What you and Jaycee have done…” The pastor shook his head slowly. “You two have been the hands and feet of God in this town, you and your crews. Did you know some of them stayed late one night last week to help out around town? They didn’t have to, but they did.”

Strange, Derek hadn’t known about that. He wondered who had spearheaded that effort.

“I talked with some of them over sandwiches today. High praise all the way around for the way you run things. You and Jaycee. They were all mighty concerned about her. A couple of them specifically asked me to pray for her recovery.”

A knife went through his heart that he hadn’t thought to ask that.

“It’s been so inspiring to me, to see the two of you in church each week. As the pastor, I did my best when she was here, but you just never know what’s going to stick when kids move away. Of course, she’s not a kid anymore, but too often, instead of bringing the world to God through you, you let the world take God from you. I’m so happy that didn’t happen with Jaycee.”

What could he say? They’d only been going to church for a month. Before that, he hadn’t even thought of it, and he wondered then if she had.

“So if you could just let her know that I will be keeping her and you and your whole outfit in my prayers, not just now but long after you leave. You’re such an inspiration to me and to so many people around here.”

“An inspiration?” Derek asked in surprise. “Oh, I don’t know if I’d go that far.”

“Well, I do. When you showed up, it really jumpstarted something around here. Helping each other out isn’t just some nice words in an old book. It should be an everyday deal. We should be living it, especially in the trials of life. And in case no one’s told you, we really appreciate all you’ve done.”

“I wish we could’ve done more.”

“Oh, never despise the day of small beginnings. You’re doing what God put you here to do. Here in Ridgemount, and here in the world. That’s not a little thing.”

He had long since stopped taking notes though most of the time, he couldn’t really hold the pastor’s steady, peaceful gaze. “Sure feels like it sometimes.”

“Oh, my friend,” the pastor said with a smile. He paused but only a breath. “Do you have a minute?”

Derek wasn’t expecting that, but he wasn’t going to refuse. “Uh, sure.”

Pastor Steve motioned for the mismatched chairs by the window, and Derek complied.

A second as the pastor’s eyes dropped to a depth that surprised Derek even further. “A long time ago, a preacher friend of mine and I were at a conference. They had all these big time speakers. People that had led thousands of people to the Lord, and it may sound strange, but it’s really easy to get down on yourself and your ministry at those things. I mean, here I was a struggling pastor with a couple hundred people if that coming to services each week. And here were these people, up there, leading hundreds of thousands to the Lord.

“But over lunch my friend told me something I’ve never forgotten. He said, ‘Steve, the world is like this giant room with no doors. It’s full of sin and drama and heartbreak and horror, and a lot of people live their whole lives in that room, thinking there is no way out. But…’” With a mysterious smile, the pastor leaned forward. “What they don’t know is there is a doorway. His name is Jesus Christ. The reason people don’t know it, don’t see Him as the way out is because it takes faith to have the eyes to see Him. Once you do, you can go through the door that is Jesus Christ, and in Him, you will find peace and hope and joy—no matter what your world looks like.”

It was crazy how easily Derek could see that room. He’d been in it for so long, he’d never really known there was any other option.

“My friend told me that every person you help to see that door, to find that door is one more that doesn’t have to live in hopelessness and heartache anymore.” Joy. There was no other word for the emotion that crossed the pastor’s face. “Ever since then, I don’t despise the small things because I now see that what may seem small to me might be the key to unlocking someone else’s eternity, and there’s nothing small about that.” A moment and he looked at the clock. “Oh, my. I’m keeping you from supper.”

Derek followed the pastor up from the seats, wishing he could ask more even though he wasn’t sure the questions he would ask if he could get them out.

“Thank you so much,” Pastor Steve said, extending his hand.

“No. Thank you.”

Chapter 22

All the way back to Luke and Sage’s Derek thought about that room. A room with no doors. A room of chaos and heartache and drama. He’d certainly experienced his share of all of them. As he turned into the driveway, he hoped Jaycee was still awake. He wanted to talk to her because his world seemed to be spinning about as fast as hers was.

Parking, he jumped out, grabbed his stuff and headed inside. The world had already faded to dark, and he could hear the saw going out in the workshop. That would be his third shift of the day, or maybe his fourth if he didn’t hurry.

The back door squeaked on his way through it, and one part of his brain said he should fix that for them. They had been so generous in their time and efforts on the show’s behalf. In fact, Luke was out in the shop right now, which was where he should be. Stopping at the little sink, Derek washed his hands and let out a sigh before heading into the kitchen. The fact that he was starving entered his consciousness about the time his foot hit the threshold.

“I was about to call you,” Jaycee said from where she sat at the table. “I figured you’d be here at least an hour ago.”

“Yeah, I would’ve been.” Derek brought his stuff in, looked for a good place to lay it, and finally opted for by the chair next to Jaycee. “The pastor and I started talking, and time got away from me.”

Thankfully that made her laugh. “Ah. I should have known. Pastor Steve, the guy that can talk your ear off and will if you let him. You hungry? There’s some casserole in the fridge. I’d get it for you, but Sage kind of has a thing about me getting up.”

“Yeah, me too. You stay right there,” he said, turning for the refrigerator. “How are you?” He came out of the appliance with the pan in hand. More home cooking. He could get used to this.

“Uh, well, I’ve been better. I ran into the door earlier.” She put her wrist up to the spot and rubbed softly. “Definitely not fun.”

“You aren’t supposed to be up.” When he looked over at her, her head was down, and she was only looking at the tiny circles she was making on the table with her fingernail. Derek took the casserole, dished some up, and put it in the microwave.

“I know, but I thought it would be okay if I just went to the bathroom. That’ll teach me to try to do things on my own, huh?”

“We need to do that exercise thing again,” he said as if he’d rather be thrown from a burning building with his shirt on fire.

“I know.” She never lifted her gaze.

“So, you want to try it now?”

Another moment and her gaze came up to his. “I guess. I was waiting for you.”

“Oh, yeah, huh?” Behind him, the microwave dinged, and Derek fought to remember just why. “I’m sorry. I should’ve come back sooner.” He turned and got his supper out.

She shook her head. “You need to eat.”

“And we need to get this done.” He put the plate on the table. “While you’re sitting there arguing, my supper’s getting cold.” Stepping over to her, he reached down for her hands and gently pulled her up and out of the chair.

Her head shifted back and forth as if she was trying to find vertical again as her hands came out and found him coming the other way.

“Whoa. You okay?” he asked, ducking toward her and holding her balance as much as she was.

“Hm. Yeah.” She suddenly looked very young, timid and almost frightened.

“K. So are we doing this in your room?”

“Uh. Yeah. I guess so. The couches are too small, and the angles won’t work very well.”

“Okay then. Here we go.”

At that moment Sage came in from the opposite door. “Oh, Derek. Good. You’re here.”

“I am,” he said, more focused on his patient than anything. “You want to come help us reposition some stones?”

Sage’s eyebrows went up. “Uh, no thanks. I don’t think so.”

“Chicken!” Jaycee called as they got to the doorway.

“You’re right. And this chicken is staying way over here. Thank you very much.”

The closer they got to the bedroom, the more Jaycee’s heart and mind careened the other direction. This had not been fun at the doctor’s office, and now with Derek helping her, she could add awkward and intimidating to the long list of reasons she didn’t want to live through the next ten minutes.

“Okay. We’re here.” In the bedroom, Derek left her at the wall and put the pillow at the foot of the bed. “Take it easy. Go slow.”

Up and into the bed backward Jaycee went being super-careful not to jar herself unnecessarily.

“So we’re going to go to the right first?” he asked, clearly nervous as he went to the end of the bed.

“Uh, yeah. That’s the easy side. Maybe we could just do that side and call it a day.”

“You wish.” Gently he took hold of her head as she laid it off the bottom edge of the bed. “Ready?”

“Not really, but does that make any difference?”

“Not much,” he said with a laugh. “K. Here we go.”

And down she went, backward with her shoulders catching the pillow and her head being caught and stabilized only by his hands. However, she hadn’t realized just how close he would be doing this.

“See, that wasn’t so bad,” he said, smiling at her from mere inches away.

Lands. He was handsome, and that smile—half smirk, half gentle. If she wasn’t really careful, her heart would get completely away from her with him right there like that.

“For you maybe,” she said, trying to remember this was supposed to be a bad thing.

“Two minutes, right?” He lifted his watch without so much as jostling her head. “So looks like we’ve got two minutes to talk. What do you want to talk about?”

She lifted her eyebrows. “Says the guy who could kill me right now if he wanted to.”

Derek laughed. “Your life is in my hands? That’s a scary thought.”

“You’re telling me.” A sigh went through her, and her body relaxed as her shoulders sank into the pillow.

He tilted his head as he looked at her. “What?”

“It’s weird.”

“What’s that?”

“How safe this can feel. I could so go to sleep right here.”

“Yeah, well, hold that thought.” He picked his wrist up. “It’s about time to turn.”

“Boy, you sure know how to ruin a moment, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told.” He shifted on his knees. “You ready?”

“No,” she said weakly. “Not really.”

Letting out a long breath, he repositioned himself once more. “Well, ready or not, here we go.” And with that, he tilted her head the other direction.

“Oh! Whoa! Holy smokes!” Both hands went flailing out, gripping the blankets as she gasped. “My. Gosh. You really are trying to kill me.”

“Ugh. Sorry about that. You okay?”

“Uh, no. Not okay. Definitely not. Not at all. No lie. I think you just actually killed me. Yep. For real. Wow. That was so not fun.”

“Two minutes?”

Thinking was becoming a real issue as was breathing. “I’ll do your laundry if you cut it to one.”

“Desperate much?”

“Little bit.” She let a slow breath slide from her through the queasiness. “Wow. That is just crazy. The world feels like it’s on an ultra-fast spin cycle.” She peeled her eyes all the way open, hoping that would help. It didn’t. “Who needs an amusement park when you’re around?” It took a few more seconds before the room stopped tipping and pitching like a drunk sailor around her. “Whoa. Okay. For the record, I am never doing the Tilt-a-Whirl again. Wow.”

“Is it better? A little bit?” he asked with hope edging the question.

“Well, that really depends on your definition of better.” Finally calming down, Jaycee let her head relax into his hands, spent. “Ugh. That is awful.”

“You look beat.”

“With a stick.”

He waited another few seconds. “You ready to sit up?”

“If I said no, would that make any difference at all?”

“Not really.”

“Then why’d you bother to ask?”

“Just making conversation.”

She laughed. “Then sure… why not? I love to live dangerously.”

“Okay. Here we go.” And gently he swung her back up to sitting; however, when she was up, he didn’t take his hands away. Instead, he simply lowered them to her shoulders as he leveled his gaze on her.

“You okay?”

“Um?” Truth was, she wasn’t honestly sure. It wasn’t quite as bad as at the doctor’s office, but it certainly wasn’t great. “Uh, yeah. Maybe. A little. Not quite as bad coming up this time anyway.”

He nodded, his gaze concerned and focused. “I think your eyes were better that time.”

Heat started crawling up her neck as she realized just how close he was and that he was, in fact, staring right into her eyes. A girl could get lost in his eyes if she let herself, and it was frightfully impossible to not let herself. “Um, yeah. I… I think that’s better.”

“Cool. So tomorrow morning again?” Stepping back from her, he put his hands on his beltline, never taking his gaze off of her. Then he crossed his arms over his chest. “You gonna be up before I leave, or do you want me to come back?”

“No.” Reaching for his hand, she slid up and off the bed. It felt so good to know she wasn’t alone. “I’ll be up. I promise.”

His gaze traipsed back to the bed. “You don’t have to stay up. You can go to bed if you want.”

“Ha. I’ve been in bed all day. I’m going to atrophy if I stay there anymore.”

They were walking now, together, back out to the kitchen. “Besides, I need the 411 on what you got done today. Did they get the center finished? How’d the sandwiches go? Did the windows come in for Ms. P’s yet?”

Derek shook his head even as he deposited her in the chair at the table. Even falling apart at the seams didn’t squash her determination. “Yes. Fine. No, and not yet.”

“Okay. Then I’ll call them again tomorrow. Hopefully they’ve shipped already.”

The casserole was cold, again, so he heated it back up, and then they spent the next half-hour going over every detail of every project. He just hoped he wouldn’t mess any of them up while she was away. Something told him she’d be more upset about that than he would, and strangely, that made him feel like it was his life in her hands. Even stranger, it felt like a very safe place to be.

The last thing Jaycee wanted to do the next morning was get up for another torture session, but she knew he didn’t need to be coming back mid-morning just to take care of her. So when her alarm went off, she reached over and shut it off, giving herself a nice, little pep talk about how this wasn’t going to be so bad, and only eight more times or something like that.

She pushed herself up and swung her feet off the bed before grabbing the blankets as the room whipped into motion. One spin and then two, and the room stabilized. “Well, that’s progress.”

Derek wondered if she would, in fact, wake up before he had to leave, but he should have known better than to wonder. Before he was half-way through his bowl of cereal, she appeared in the doorway, still in her over-sized T-shirt and lounge pants. It looked so very different from her normal business attire that he had to duck his head so she wouldn’t see the smile. “Morning, sunshine.”

“Morning.” She went right to a chair and sat, but he noticed she was less topsy-turvy today.

He crunched on his corn flakes. “I thought maybe you’d chicken out.”

“Chicken out?” She backed up slightly to eye him with annoyance. “Me? Never. I want to get this done, so I can get back to work before you decide you don’t need me anymore.”

He smiled, for real this time. “Not possible.”

Once again, the first direction wasn’t bad at all. In fact, Jaycee could get used to this. “So you’re starting on the pastor’s today?”

Six inches from her and sideways, Derek nodded. “It’s gonna be a little more challenging than we thought though.”

“Oh?”

“The water leak was up near the ridge. It totally molded a lot of the insulation in the attic over the office, and we’ll have to tear out the sheetrock on that south wall and reinsulate it.”

“That stinks.”

“Yeah, well, he was at least cool about it. I was thinking we could paint it like maybe a light gray-blue and maybe do beige trim.”

“That would look good. Very classic.”

“He doesn’t have much color in there. What do you think about yellow?”

“You know, with that window, we could do some custom drapes.”

“That would be perfect.” He lifted his wrist. “Time for the fun part. You ready?”

“Oh, sure. I love getting nauseous and making a fool of myself.”

“Hey. You don’t even need the alcohol.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Here we go.”

This time the room bucked and pitched, but not nearly so violently or so long. In a minute she was breathing the movement back down to a Cat 3.

“Hey. That was better,” he said as if she’d just landed a triple flip. “A lot better.”

“I’m glad you thought so.”

“I’m just glad this is working,” he said. “Yesterday was not fun.”

“Yeah.” She looked at him. “Sorry about that.”

His smile was soft and very gentle. “I’m just glad you’re going to be okay.”

“Me too.”

Jaycee was glad to see when she made it out of her room later that the door was no longer a problem. Even the hallway was behaving itself. She smiled in victory. “I’ll be dancing in no time.” She went through the kitchen and into the living room where Sage sat sewing at the little table, the two girls playing at her feet. “I thought I heard someone in here.”

Sage jumped up like she’d been shot, and in the next second she was up and headed over to her sister. “Jaycee Marie, what are you doing out of that bed? Nobody gave you permission to get up.”

Jaycee laughed at her sister’s theatrics. “Permission? Now I need permission to get out of bed?”

“You know what I mean.”

She laughed. “I know, but it’s getting better. Really. And I’m going to go nuts sitting in that bed all day.” Looking past her sister to the sewing table, she lifted her chin. “What’re you working on?”

Sage looked back at her work as if she had forgotten. “Oh. Ms. P’s curtains. They’re really turning out nice. You want to see?”

“Sure.”

“This one’s too short again,” Caleb called from where he was installing the baseboards at Rachel’s.

“Too short?” Derek stopped the miter saw and turned. “What do you mean, it’s too short?”

“10 and 7/8,” Caleb said, standing and coming over. He took out his measuring tape to prove it. “This is 10 and 5/8.”

Derek exhaled and shook his head. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” He took it and measured it himself as if he didn’t believe Caleb. “Well, for the love of…”

“Man, dude, you are a space cadet today. You sure everything’s all right with Jaycee?” Caleb pitched that board onto the other three Derek had managed to measure wrong in the last ten minutes.

Jaycee?” Derek measured and remeasured the next board, wishing his mind would quit telling him he should call and find out how she was. “She’s not even here.”

“Yep. Precisely my point,” Caleb said, shaking his head and crossing his arms as he looked at his boss.

“What does that mean?”

Caleb half-smiled and then grew serious. “Look, I didn’t mean anything. I just… The two of you, you know.” He shrugged, grinned and then shrugged again.

Derek stopped cutting completely. “The two of us, what?”

His head carpenter shrugged once more, never really losing the grin. “You’re just kind of like yin and yang when you work together.” He untwined his hands and placed them like scales in front of him. “You balance each other out. One without the other one just doesn’t feel quite complete.”

Rather than fighting it, Derek considered that as he leaned a hip on the saw’s bench. “You think?”

For a second Caleb thought about it and then nodded. “Yeah, you’re like a married couple that’s not married, you know? Like you say, ‘We need the…’ and she says, ‘pillows. They’re right here.’ It’s like you know what the other one is thinking without realizing you do.”

“Huh. I guess I never really noticed.”

“That’s what I mean. You just are. It’s not trying to or that it’s hard. It just is.”

Turning and measuring once more, Derek cut the board, hopefully the correct size this time.

“So is she okay?” Caleb asked carefully. “Really?”

“She’s getting there.”

Derek ate a quick sandwich at lunch and then found a quiet spot just outside the center to place the call.

“Hello?” Sage asked.

“Hey, is Jaycee there?”

“Yes, and would you please tell her to stop taking over the curtain design?” Sage half-asked, half-demanded. “She is supposed to be in bed not over here giving me design tips.”

He couldn’t stop the smile. “I’ll be sure to tell her.”

“Thank you. Here she is.”

His heart filled every piece of him when she said hello. He couldn’t wait to see her again, to talk with her, to just be with her. Maybe Caleb was right. “Hey,” he said softly. “I hear you’re giving your sister fits.”

“Does that surprise anyone?”

“Nope. Not at all.”

The trim at Rachel’s was going much better now that Derek had gotten to talk to Jaycee. They were nailing on the last of the kitchen baseboards when he thought about something he hadn’t thought to ask.

“You know,” he said after cutting the last board, “I heard that some of the guys stayed to help in town the other night after work. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

Caleb shot two more nails and straightened to standing. “Oh. Uh, yeah. I’ve been meaning to tell you about that.” He came over and got a new clip of nails without ever really looking at his boss. “Couple of us went over to Rachel’s mom’s house the other night.” With a shrug, he pushed the new clip in. “She had an eave that needed some help, and then she said we should stay for dinner. I know, I should’ve told you. It’s not on the show’s payroll or anything. It was strictly off-hours.”

With a smile of understanding, Derek nodded. “So how is Rachel’s mom?”

“She’s a great lady. Real nice.”

This nod understood perfectly. “I’m sure she is.”

“Okay. I have stayed away long enough,” her mother said, coming through the kitchen with Sage. “But she’s my baby, and…” Breaking through the doorway, her mother took one look at Jaycee who was sitting on the couch, and she stopped. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t want your mama hanging around being all over-protective and everything.”

However, Jaycee just smiled. “Yeah, well, maybe I need some over-protecting sometimes.”

“Oooh.” Her mother came across the room, sat down next to her and hugged her. When she backed up, she smoothed Jaycee’s hair from her face. “How are you? We were so worried.”

“I’m better.” Jaycee nodded. “Really. I’m a lot better.”

Derek had left Rachel’s in Caleb’s capable hands. He knew Caleb would make sure everything was done to perfection anyway. He certainly didn’t need Derek supervising, or making things worse. So he hopped in his truck and headed to the pastor’s. They were pulling up the insulation in the attic so they could spray-foam the rafters. The energy savings alone would be amazing.

Pulling up amongst the work trucks, he got out and started digging for the right tools in the back. This doing multiple jobs at the same time was wreaking havoc with his organizational skills. Normally, he knew what tools he would need and he would have them within easy reach. Now it seemed like whatever he needed was perpetually on the bottom of the stack.

He was leaning over the top of the back bed panel digging when he heard the vehicle, and almost without thinking, he glanced back wondering how many work trucks they could get on the small parking lot. However, it wasn’t a work truck that pulled in, and for a second his heart gave a jumpstart. Then he breathed that down.

The driver got out and came across the lot right to him, and Derek stopped his search to turn and greet the new arrival.

“Derek,” Mr. Lawrence said, “I’m glad I caught up with you.” He stuck out his hand, which Derek shook.

“I’m having a hard time of that myself these days.”

Mr. Lawrence laughed, took a step back, and folded his arms at his chest.

Tipping his head in concern, Derek leaned on his truck. “Something I can help you with?”

For a second Mr. Lawrence said nothing, didn’t even really look up, and then he did, and panic took a hard swipe at Derek’s heart.

“Well, the truth is, I was wondering about Jaycee,” her father said. “We’ve been hearing all kinds of rumors. Of course, Em’s been talking to Sage who says everything’s fine, but… well, I just wanted to make sure of that for myself, you know?”

Letting out a breath, Derek nodded. “She’s fine, or at least she’s gonna be. It was a case of vertigo. It had her all swimmy-headed and off-balance. We’re doing some exercise things the doc said to do, and they really seem to be helping. I really think she’s gonna be okay though.”

The breath Mr. Lawrence exhaled held far more than worry. He put his head down and shook it three times before bringing it up, and Derek saw the emotion instantly. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just… people were saying maybe it was something else, something worse, and I just didn’t know if I should say something or ask or come over or what.”

“Jaycee didn’t want you guys to know,” Derek said. “She’s like that sometimes.”

“Sometimes? I’ve never seen her not like that.” Her father shook his head. “And I always seem to find a way to do exactly the wrong thing when she needs me the most.”

Derek didn’t know what to say so he didn’t say anything.

“It’s like with her knee that time,” Mr. Lawrence continued. “’Til the day I die, I’m going to remember that walk out of the doctor’s after the last surgery.” He pursed his lips as his gaze fell. “I told her, you know, that we could get a second opinion, that maybe the knee wasn’t as bad as the doctor said it was, that we could find someone or do something so she could play again. I’ll never forget her turning to me on those crutches and saying, ‘It’s over, Dad. It’s over. I’m done. Let it go.’ I know she thought it was me, that I wanted her to play and was pushing her to get better so she could. I know that, but honestly, that wasn’t why I did it. I knew how much she loved to play, and I knew how much giving up that dream was going to cost her. But I don’t think she’s ever forgiven me for it.

“And so now, when stuff happens, I want to do something, but I don’t want her to think I’m trying to take over or tell her what to do. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad she’s independent and strong-willed and all of that. It’s seen her through some pretty tough stuff.” He looked up and nodded the tears down. “It’s just sometimes, I worry about her, and I want to help. Can’t blame a dad for that, can you?”

“No, sir,” Derek said. “I certainly can’t.”

Mr. Lawrence nodded. “Look, I don’t want to put anything on you. I mean, I know you’re just her boss and everything. But, well, you’re with her more than anybody else, and it would surely be nice for her old man to know she has someone looking out for her out there.” Then he stopped. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t even as this.”

“It’s fine. I totally understand.” Derek nodded. “I’ll be sure to keep an eye on her.”

“And let me know if she ever needs us for anything, will you?”

Again he nodded. “Sure thing.”

The insulation guys did not have any good news by the time he got inside. The mold issue was more extensive than they had anticipated, and there was evidence that it went down not just the south wall, but the east one as well.

“You know what would be the best,” Neil, the insulation guy, said as they stood in the office discussing the matter, “is to take down both of these walls to the studs and spray foam them and take down this ceiling and replace it. That way we can be sure all the mold is gone, and we kill the energy loss out of this whole corner of the house.”

Derek exhaled. Doing that much to the inside would almost certainly require the pastor to move out of his office at least temporarily. He had wanted to avoid that because with all the books and paperwork it would be something of a challenge. “Okay. We’ll talk it over, and I’ll get back to you.”

“Sounds good. I’ll keep a little window open tomorrow and Thursday in case you decide to go ahead with it.”

“K.”

And with that, the insulation crew cleared out. Standing in the room, Derek took a look around. Yes, it needed a facelift, but he hadn’t counted on actual reconstructive surgery.

The first stop was to find the pastor and discuss it with him, next one was to get Alex’s crew ready for a gut job they hadn’t planned on.

“Oh, Derek,” the pastor said, saving him the effort of locating him as he came into the room and set his things on the desk. “I just saw the insulation people leave. Is everything going okay?”

Turning, Derek wished, as he did so often, that he had better news. “Not so much. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it looks like we’re going to need to pull both of these walls all the way down.”

The pastor’s eyes widened. “Both of them?”

“And the ceiling.”

The pastor’s eyes widened even further. “The ceiling too?”

“Yeah, there was evidence of mold down both sides and on the sheetrock overhead.”

“But that’s…”

“Major. I know, and not what you wanted to hear, but even with the leak fixed and the vent holes cut, that mold isn’t going anywhere unless we actually, physically remove it.”

The pastor shook his head slowly. “How can we do that with everything in here?”

Derek sighed, hating this part of the job. “We can’t. I’m afraid, we’re going to have to move the furniture, and to be honest with you, it would be best if the books and stuff were out too. These kinds of things have a way of getting really dirty and dusty fast, and it’d really be easier to just box up everything and move it out until we’re finished.”

“This is why I would never make it in construction. Too many hidden issues.”

By the time Luke made it home, Jaycee and Sage had almost finished both the drapes and the pillows for Ms. P’s house. They would certainly bring some life into the space.

“Dad’s home,” Sage said to the kids who all jumped up and headed for the backdoor screaming first hug. She smiled. “I never get first hug anymore.”

Jaycee watched her sister, having never realized she could be jealous of such simplicity.

Going over to the baby, Sage scooped her up. “Come on, girlfriend. Daddy’s home.” And with that, she headed into the kitchen as well.

Staying where she was for the moment, Jaycee finished up the stitching on the pillow she was working on. It wasn’t her favorite thing in the world to do, but it beat the tar out of sitting in bed all day. When the pillow was finished, slowly though with much less trepidation than before, Jaycee got herself up and off the couch.

The sounds of the mini-reunion in the kitchen had subsided as she made her way to the kitchen.

“So, how’re things?” Sage was asking as she went over to the stove.

“Good. We finally got the windows in for Ms. P’s house today, and they’ve got quite a crew on the sandwich brigade. It sure is nice to see everyone pulling together.” With Macy tucked safely at his side, Luke had followed Sage over and around the cabinet. “What’s for supper? I’m starving.”

“You’re always starving. Sometimes I think that’s the only reason you come home.”

“Well, one of them.” Coming up behind her, he put his arm around her from shoulder to opposite hip and nuzzled in to her neck as Sage giggled.

“Stop that,” she said softly pushing him away.

“Make me.” He dropped his lips to her shoulder. “Man, you smell good.”

Leaning on the doorway, Jaycee just watched them, knowing she shouldn’t but not really being able not to. She was happy for both of them, all of them. Family was something more precious than she’d ever realized until right then. No. It wasn’t spotlights and red carpets, but it was beautiful and simple and profoundly amazing. She remembered well when they had gotten together, fallen in love, and then decided to build a family. What she had once considered mundane now seemed holy and perfect in a way she hadn’t expected.

Marriages fell apart every day. She had watched them, and yet, here were these two as deeply in love now as they had ever been. She shook her head as a soft, grateful smile crossed her face. Deciding she shouldn’t stay for more, she pushed up from the doorway and had just turned to leave when Luke caught her movement.

“Oh, hey. There’s the person everybody’s been talking about,” he said, and Jaycee turned in surprise to find him looking right at her.

“Talking about?” she asked in concern. “What? Why?”

He spun, kicked his feet out in front of himself, and leaned on the cabinet next to his wife as he swooped baby Macy down and up again. “Are you kidding me? I can’t walk five steps without someone asking about you.

“I think somebody should post a billboard out on Highway 51. ‘Jaycee Lawrence is not dying.’” Laughing as Macy squealed, he brought her back up again. “Sure would save me from having to tell everyone you’re okay all day long.” He swung the child down again and then back up. “And I’m sure Derek’s worse.” Luke shook his head. “You are one popular girl, Jaycee Lawrence. I’ll tell you that right now.” Down and up he went again, chuckling at the delight of his daughter. Then he put her to his shoulder and held her there in a squeeze. “Oh, and Derek is going to be late for supper again. They’re having all kinds of trouble at the pastor’s.”

“Oh, great,” Jaycee said, still not really past the whole one popular girl comment. “What now?”

Chapter 23

“You really don’t have to stay and help with this,” Pastor Steve said as Derek pulled books off the shelves and put them in the box.

“Well, if Jane and the boys were here, I would say, ‘Have at it,’ but I’m not going to make you box all of this and move it on your own tonight.”

“Yeah, what a night for an out-of-town soccer match, right? Who was the dumb-bunny who scheduled that? Don’t they know we’re about to have a house fall down on us?” The pastor put more books into the box.

“Well, thankfully I don’t think we’re in danger of that,” Derek said with a laugh.

“Could have fooled me.”

Lifting another set of books, Derek looked at the ones in his hand. “Have you actually read all of these?” He couldn’t imagine.

“Most of them. College. Seminary. Counseling. You tend to collect quite a paper trail.”

“Tell me about it.” He stowed those in the box and swung that one off the desk, very glad the grocery store hadn’t gotten rid of all of them for the week. He put a new box up on the desk and repositioned the step ladder. “So do you actually remember what’s in any of them?”

“Oh, yes.” The pastor held one up. “This one is about the intricacies of the body and how that affects the mind and in turn the spirit.” He held another up. “And this one is about the manifestation of the fruits of the Holy Spirit in the Christian life.” Putting those two in the box, he held up a third. “This one is about strong marriages and how marriage is the basis of society. Really interesting stuff when you do a lot of family counseling.”

“I’ll bet.” Derek thought and considered and then realized they had at least another hour of work ahead of them. “I guess that must be pretty tough, counseling families.”

“It can be a challenge. Relationships can become so complex when viewed from the perspective of each member. What seems a simple fix to one is often the most challenging for another. It’s like this whole puzzle, only it’s not flat and two-dimensional. It’s multi-dimensional and the ramifications of the interactions stretch backward to the beginning and forward into eternity.”

As strange as it sounded Derek had never considered the building of a family, only his own and those he had been a part of for a time. “Wow.”

“Yeah, it can be a real challenge. So often we tend to think of ourselves as islands—a man or woman unto ourselves, but the truth is, we are all interconnected, and what happens to one affects the whole. Take an illness for example. Most people think of an illness striking only the person afflicted, but in family counseling, you can see how an illness can have rippling affects for multiple people and sometimes for many generations. I had a lady in here one time whose mother had died of breast cancer when she was very young. The daughter had taken on the role of mother for her siblings. Years later she and her sisters got into a huge conflict over the father’s care. One sister was a nurse, but she wasn’t the oldest who had always made all the decisions. That was quite the mess to untangle.

“Or the young lady whose brother had basically stolen their mother’s livelihood to supply his drug habit. Even the parents who want what’s best for their child but can’t always see that they don’t have the final say in that. I’ll tell you one thing, this life thing is not an easy road.”

“You can say that again.” Derek shook his head, unsure of if he could or should say anything. However, the conflicts in him needed a voice, and here felt if not helpful than at least safe. “I can see that with Jaycee and her parents. I mean they love her so much, and yet, she keeps them so at arm’s length.” He stowed some books. “About the time I think I have it figured out why, I learn something new, and all of a sudden, I’m not sure what to think anymore.”

The pastor nodded.

“Like her knee injury. Everybody I talk to has a different take on it, and the weird thing is, before I came here, I never even knew that about her. She’d never even told me about it.” He tipped his head. “Truth is, she never told me about a lot of things.”

“Some people are very good at playing their cards next to their vest.” The pastor swept that box off and replaced it with another. “Jaycee strikes me as a very independent young woman.”

“Huh, you can say that again. Independent or obstinate and incredibly headstrong?”

The pastor laughed. “Those too, but sometimes when you learn to believe others can’t be trusted, it can make doing it all on your own about your only viable option.”

“You’re talking about her dad,” Derek said, still unsure where he fell on the scale of tolerance, understanding, and outright anger at the man.

A nod and the pastor exhaled. “I am. There were a lot of bad feelings, some I’m sure she felt, maybe even some she saw and heard growing up. Don’t get me wrong, Jaycee loves her dad, and she would go to the wall for him, but some things go so deep, we don’t even realize what they’ve done to how we think and live, and most of all to how we see ourselves.”

“Well, I don’t think that’s a problem. I think Jaycee pretty much sees herself as invincible.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

The pastor let that thought hang in the air for what felt like an infinity.

“Are you saying she’s not as invincible as she seems?” Derek finally asked.

“I’m saying Jaycee has come to the conclusion that the way to not be hurt is to hold herself back from being fully invested in any relationship. Oh, on the outside, full-on, headlong determination and stubbornness, but with those, she is able to convince other people that she doesn’t need their help. And so, they back off and leave her to fend for herself.”

“And she doesn’t really want that?”

“She does because to her it feels safe, but alone is an incredibly lonely place to be.” The pastor took that box off and replaced it. “So have you ever asked her about it? About the knee and the injury?”

The very thought sent panic spiraling through Derek’s soul. “No. I haven’t. I was afraid she wouldn’t tell me, that she didn’t want to talk about it.”

“She might not, but you’ll never know if you don’t ask.”

Derek had never considered himself a particularly phobic kind of person. Heights were not a problem. Snakes and crawly things had never phased him, but later that evening as he held Jaycee’s head in his hands and contemplated asking the question that was on his heart, fear didn’t do the feeling justice.

“You know,” he said gently as he looked at her, “I’m curious about something.”

“Oh, yeah.” She looked at him peacefully. “What’s that?”

One more time the question went around the track in his mind. “I’m wondering why you never told me about your knee. I mean, I know it still bothers you sometimes. Why didn’t you ever say anything about it?”

The peace never really left, it just intertwined with waves of quiet sadness and acceptance. “It was a long time ago, and I figured what was done was done. Besides, it wasn’t your problem.”

He breathed that answer down with a soft sigh. Now that the wall had been breached, he released his death grip on the questions he’d been holding since he’d come here. “I can’t imagine how hard that must’ve been. I see how much you and Andrew love it. Giving that up? It must’ve been terrible.”

“I did love it. It was amazing.” Her eyes danced, not in pain but in joy. “Hearing the crowd, feeling that energy. There was nothing like it.”

He hated to shift her position for fear she might stop talking, but their two minutes was almost up. “Ready?”

She exhaled. “As I’ll ever be.”

Rolling her head to the other side, he watched her body convulse with the perceived movement and then grow still. “Better?”

“Yeah,” she said as if surprised by that. “Not bad at all. Kinda like the shifty floor on the funhouse at the fair.”

He smiled at that, amazed at her resiliency. She was truly amazing.

“You know, what’s weird?” she asked, and he tilted his head to look down at her.

“What’s that?”

“I remember how quiet the stadium got when I went down.”

His heart opened to the understanding that she was letting him into her world, a world maybe no one else had ever been admitted to. It felt so fragile, so unbearably delicate.

“It was like one second, everyone was cheering and screaming and then next second, there was just this dead silence. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because the pain blocked out my hearing, but I always remember that. I was down for a really long time, at least it seemed like a long time to me.” Her eyes slid closed, and she gulped at the memories. “The pain.. I just... The trainers from both teams came and stabilized my leg before they took me off the court. And then everyone clapped because I hadn’t died.”

Her eyes came open, and he watched them, trailing back and forth not from the vertigo but searching through the memories.

“I remember going with the trainers down into the tunnel and hearing the crowd start cheering again, knowing I would never hear it the same way ever again, not like I always had, not with me out there. And it was like life had gone on without me.” She continued to search through the thoughts and memories even as he watched her. “Have you ever gone to bed one person and by the time you got to bed the next night you’re someone you don’t even recognize? I had been her my whole life, and all of a sudden I just wasn’t anymore.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” he said softly. “I think you traded in those sneakers for a set of high heels.” He grinned at her, and she smiled back. “Okay, time to sit up. Here we go. One. Two. Three.” It was amazing how easy it was to lift her when she wasn’t fighting him. Once she was upright, Derek kept his hands on her head for one more moment, not so much to stabilize her but because he loved being with her like this. “You okay?”

Looking at him, there was mist in her eyes as she nodded. “Thank you.”

With a smile he put his fingers under her chin and lifted it gently. “And just for the record, you didn’t lose her. She never left. Not really. That determination and fight, I see it up-close-and-in-person every single day. She’s still there, just in much less practical footwear.”

Jaycee smiled at that. “I guess she wasn’t all bad.”

“Neither is this ‘she.’” He tweaked her nose before leveling his gaze at her. “Now, as much as I’d love to stay and chat, if you’re okay, I really do need to get out there and help Luke. I think he’s drowning in cabinets.”

One laugh and Jaycee nodded. “Go on. I’m fine.”

“I’m glad.”

Have you ever gone to bed one person and by the time you got to bed the next night you’re someone you don’t even recognize? Strange how in a much different way Derek knew exactly what that was like. His mind kept repeating it and splaying over the details of his own life the remainder of the night, so that by the next morning when she appeared in the kitchen from the hallway still in her night clothes, he had never felt closer to anyone. “Morning, Sunshine.”

She grinned. “Morning.” Coming over, she sat in the chair without looking at all unsteady. “Sleep well?”

“Not bad. How about you?”

With a shrug, she reached for the Cheerios and got a handful without bothering with the milk. “You know, I got to thinking last night, what’re you doing with the floors at Pastor Steve’s?”

“The floors?”

“Yeah, there’s carpet, right? Well you pull up the baseboards and tear out the sheetrock…”

He let out a frustrated sound. “Tell me we’re not going to have to refloor that room.”

She shrugged. “Who knows, you might get lucky and there’s hardwood underneath.”

“Or it could go just like the rest of our luck over there.”

Tilting her head, she ate a Cheerio. “That too.”

“You know, I’ve never noticed that before,” Jaycee said as she gazed at him, only inches from her as he held her head in his hands.

He tipped his head. “What’s that?”

“Your eyes change color.” Staring into them, she couldn’t help but get mesmerized. Kindness, generosity, a hit of mischief—they were all there in those eyes she had grown to so love. Only this love didn’t feel as much like the swooning kind. It felt deeper, more appreciative, more profound. “Last night, they were gray. This morning, they’re like green with these gold flecks.”

His smile was soft. “I’ve got my mom’s eyes. Hers were like that too.”

“I bet she’s great. Your mom.”

“One of a kind.” He nodded. “Strong, unbreakable, courageous. A lot like you actually.”

Even though he was holding her head, she managed to jerk it backward. “Me? Courageous? I’m thinking you need a new dictionary.”

“Hey now, you took me on, didn’t you?”

She laughed. “Well, you have a point there.”

Lifting his watch, his face filled with compassion as he looked back down at her. “Ready?”

Somehow in the fullness of the time they had spent together, she had come to trust that no matter how bad it was, he wouldn’t abandon her to the throes of the world flipping over and around her. “Yeah.”

His gaze never left hers. “Okay. Here we go. One. Two. Three.”

And just like that, she was the other direction. One small sway and another and everything stabilized.

“You good?” he asked, clearly worried because she hadn’t nearly flung herself off the bed this time.

“Y-yeah. That wasn’t bad at all.” She dragged in a slow breath and let it go. “I mean, really. That was… I almost didn’t even feel it.”

As he held her there, Derek’s whole body and soul pleaded with him to close the distance between them and kiss her. He had wanted to ever since that night on the couch, but this was different. This felt far more like giving than what he could get, and it was almost impossible to shake the feeling away.

“You’re getting good at this,” she teased, and Derek wasn’t sure he could withstand the onslaught of desire flooding through him.

“Oh, yeah?” he asked, his voice husky and uneven. “How’s that?”

“That was almost like flying.” She closed her eyes and completely relaxed into his hands, and he swallowed as a soft gasp went through him. “Yeah, see, I could get used to this.”

“You got a minute?” Caleb asked as Derek sat at a table apart from the others, searching his phone for good flooring options for the pastor’s house. The carpet had come up, and it was not good news. What was it about the pastor’s house that seemed to bring perpetual challenges dragging along with it?

“Uh, sure. What’s up?” Derek clicked off his phone and went back to his sandwich as Caleb sat down on the other side of the table.

“Well, I have something I want to run by you.”

“Okay. What’s that?” Derek took a drink of his soda and exhaled the details of the housing issues away from him. One more thing. One more problem. He heard it before Caleb even said it. What was it this time? The flooring was on back order, the window came in cracked, the whole ceiling was going to collapse again any second?

“I’m thinking about asking Rachel out for Friday night,” Caleb said, and his gaze stayed on the table for one solid second before he brought it up to meet his boss’s. “I was wondering what you thought about that.”

There had been a time Derek would have thought the idea horrible, mixing work with pleasure, but now, he wasn’t so sure about those hard-and-fast rules he had always held to so tightly. He smiled. “Are you asking for my blessing?”

“Yeah.” Caleb grinned. “I guess I am.”

Derek nodded. “Then you have it.”

“Really?”

Again, Derek nodded. “Yeah.”

“Awesome. That’s awesome.” Caleb started to stand.

“Caleb?” Derek asked, stopping the carpenter.

Caleb’s gaze came back down to him. “Yeah?”

Knowing he needed to say this, Derek stuck out his hand. “I’m happy for you, man.”

Accepting the handshake, Caleb nodded. “Thanks. That means a lot to me.”

The biggest problem with the pastor’s floor was that the hardwood that was there was full of screws and gashes. It would have been perfect if they could have sanded it down and reused it, but if they removed all of the screws, it would be full of holes and completely unusable. But as it was, it was completely unusable anyway. And so, Derek found himself back at the pastor’s house after the others had all gone home, trying to figure out how to fix the unfixable.

“You know, you should pay rent for as much time as you’ve spent in this room,” Pastor Steve said, appearing at the doorway.

“Huh. Tell me about it,” Derek said as he knelt and ran his hand over the screwed-down wood. “Well, once again, this is not what we were hoping for.” Shaking his head, he stood. “There’s no way we can salvage these, so it’s either new wood or new carpet.”

The pastor sighed. “This is getting to be a pattern.”

“You’re telling me.” Derek went over to the now-only-studded windows to inspect them. “Well, at least we saved the windows. That’s something.” He turned. “But these floors have to go. I’m guessing they tried to fix the squeaks with screws, and all that did was ruin the whole thing. One way or the other, we’re going to have to pull this up. We could do wood flooring, which I think really looks the best and wears the best, or we could go with carpet again.” Putting his hands on his beltline, he exhaled. “But it’s your call.”

“Well, to be honest, I really do like the carpet. I’ve never been a big fan of hardwood.”

With a nod, Derek looked down. “Okay, so we pull this thing up tonight, and by tomorrow we’ll be ready to put a new subfloor down and rock and roll in here.”

“We?” the pastor asked meekly. “I’m not sure you want me unscrewing things. I’m not exactly good with power tools.”

Derek laughed. “Okay. Then, how about I pull the screws out, and you give me some advice.”

“Advice?” the pastor asked, intrigued. “I think I can do that.”

“Let me guess,” Jaycee said when Luke had gathered all of his first hugs for the evening and kissed his wife for good measure. “Derek’s going to be late again.”

“’Fraid so. Some idiot screwed the pastor’s hardwoods down, so Derek’s got to take all the screws out. He said he hoped he’d be here before ten or so.”

“Ten?” Jaycee asked. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was trying to get out of doing cabinets.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d agree with you.”

“So what kind of advice are you needing?” Pastor Steve asked as Derek got to work on his hands and knees unscrewing the errant fixes someone had thought would be a good idea.

“Well, let’s say someone thinks they might be in love, but they’re not really sure.” The screw gun’s motor reverberated in Derek’s hand as he unscrewed the first screw.

“They’re not sure… why, exactly?”

Oh, how to explain all of this and not make himself sound pathetic, that was going to be a real challenge. “Well, for one thing, this person never really grew up where there was much stability in the love department. Parents divorced when he was nine. He bounced back and forth between them until he graduated. Neither parent exactly believing in the whole concept of marriage and love after that.”

“I see. So love doesn’t seem real to him or like it can last?”

“Yeah, like that.”

“Okay. And has this person ever been in love himself?”

“A couple times, I guess. Kind of. I don’t know. He thought he was, and then he wasn’t, and now… I don’t know.”

The pastor nodded slowly. “Well, this may sound a little strange to you, but are you familiar with poker?”

Derek’s gaze jerked up from the floor and then fell again back to the screws coming out in his hands. “Yeah?”

“Ever seen anyone play Texas Hold ‘Em?”

“A few times.”

“Have you ever played Hold ‘Em?”

Derek smiled, knowing they both knew the answer to that. “A few times.”

“Okay. Well, I think love is a lot like Hold ‘Em.”

When Derek looked at him skeptically, the pastor held up both hands. “Hear me out. Now I only watch it once in a while on television, but it’s completely fascinating to me. Here are people with all this time and treasure, and they spend their life learning to evaluate not just the cards in their hand but the other players as well. What’s someone’s tell? What’s a good hand? What’s a bad hand? What’s worth playing and what’s not? What to do or not do with different combinations of cards. It’s fascinating. And I think the most fascinating part is when they go all-in. All-in. Everything on the line with a win-everything-or-lose-everything hand of cards.

“It’s a lot like love and marriage if you think about it. Dating is the game before that moment of going all-in. Marriage is the moment you decide to go all-in.”

“Texas Hold ‘Em as marriage? Gotta be honest with you, Pastor, that’s not what I expected you to say.”

The pastor laughed. “I know. You thought I’d break out the Bible and quote some Scripture. Okay, well, how about this, ‘God created them male and female, for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two of them shall become one.’” Holding out his hands, the pastor brought them together and laced his fingers together tightly. “I’d call that all-in, wouldn’t you?”

The laugh was soft. “I guess so.”

“But see the problem is, people today have forgotten the basics of the game. They get dealt the cards and without bothering to so much as do more than look at them, they go all-in. Then they can’t figure out why they keep losing. It’s crazy to me.” The pastor shook his head. “I’ve watched my fair share of games on TV, and not once have I ever seen a chip leader go all-in without studying the cards and the way the game is going. Not once have I ever seen one say it wasn’t worth the time to really know and understand the particular game they’re in. Not once.

The pastor stopped and grew even more thoughtful. “So why do we do that in something so imminently more important like marriage?”

“That’s a good question.” Derek ran two more screws out. He kept his gaze down, not wanting to hear the bombshell that was about to explode. “So what would you say if I told you I’d been married before?”

There was silence for a long moment. “What do you think I’d say?”

Again, that was not what he had expected, and Derek tipped his head on the pain of the answer that slashed through him. “That I’m going to hell for being an idiot?”

“God doesn’t send people to hell for being idiots, Derek. God’s whole essence is rescuing people who’ve been idiots from hell, and I include myself in that assessment.”

Derek’s gaze came up from the floor. He shook his head. “No, the way I learned it, if you messed up big enough or often enough, God like put a curse on you and sent you to hell for eternity.”

“Yep, that pretty much sums up what Satan would love for you to believe.” Pastor Steve got an inquisitive look on his face. “So do you really think you’re going to hell?”

“I don’t know.” Derek shrugged. “I’ve messed up pretty bad in my life, done some pretty rotten things. Not evil things exactly, but certainly not holy things.”

“So what you’re saying is, you’re a sinner?”

This laugh was softer. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“And a sinner can never hope for Heaven, is that right?”

“Uh, yeah? No? I guess? I don’t know.”

“Did you know that Jesus came for sinners? Romans 5:8 says it so beautifully, ‘God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.’ See, He didn’t die for us after we got straightened out. While we were still sinners, Jesus came and hung on a cross and covered our sins in His blood so we could be with Him forever in paradise. So the question is, do we live like sinners or do we live like saved people that Christ died for?”

Truth be told, Derek had always felt like he was living like a sinner and never any more than that.

The pastor looked at him as if trying to see all the way through him. “You know, the other day when we talked, I made an assumption maybe I shouldn’t have made. I assumed because you came to church that you were a Christian. Did I assume more than maybe I should have?”

Derek had a nice trail of screws behind him on the floor, but he hardly saw them. “I’m not sure how to answer that. I was baptized when I was little, accepted Jesus and all of that.” He shrugged. “I don’t know what that means exactly. I’m a Christian who doesn’t act like one?”

Pastor Steve actually laughed at that. “Well, welcome to that club on that one. I’ve been a member of that club for a lot of years now.”

Surprise jerked through Derek, and he looked up. “You? But you’re a pastor.”

“I’m also a sinner who clings to the grace of God every day.” He nodded twice. “You know, I know you’ve been baptized and accepted Jesus and all, so this really isn’t technically necessary. But maybe it would help you to settle once and for all just where you stand in the eyes of God.”

Derek’s eyebrows reached for the ceiling. “Uh. Okay.”

“I have this prayer, and sometimes having that one moment when you say it out loud, when you declare it, that can give you the eyes to see Jesus, that door in your room we talked about the other day.” He paused. “But I don’t want you to feel like you have to. I’m only saying I have it if you’re interested.”

The unscrewing stopped, and Derek sat down on the floor and sighed. He’d been bumping around in this world of drama and sin for so long, did he really want to find a way out? Did he really believe there was a way out? “I always thought religion was something that put you in a box,” he said softly. “I never considered that it might get me out of one.”

“It’s not religion,” the pastor said. “It’s Jesus. He’s the One Who can get you out of the sin and the hopelessness. He’s the One Who can set your world right again. No religion. No set of rules can ever do that, only God can.”

A moment more and Derek nodded. “I’d like to, I think. If you have it.” Then he looked up and realized it was probably long since stacked with everything else in the living room. “But we probably put it in a box somewhere.”

The pastor smiled at him softly. “A long time ago, I put it right in here.” He touched his heart. “Just in case I ever needed it and didn’t have a copy handy.”

Looking around, Derek thought this an odd place to make a commitment like this. “Shouldn’t we go to the church or something?”

Shaking his head, the pastor smiled even more. “God isn’t just in church, Derek. He’s right here, with us every second. You don’t need a building to meet up with Him, only a space big enough in your heart.”

This breath felt like letting go of all the turmoil and junk he had carried most of his life, and he nodded. “Okay. Then I guess I’m ready.”

“All you have to do is repeat after me. ‘Dear God,’”

“Dear God,” and then it was like the words came from his own heart rather than from the pastor, “I admit I’m a sinner.” Wow, was that surprisingly nice to admit. Being honest, not hiding, not pretending? It felt good rather than bad. “And I need Your forgiveness. I believe that Jesus Christ died in my place, paying the penalty for my sins.”

Derek was nodding though he hardly felt attached to his own body. “I am willing right now to turn from my sin and accept Jesus Christ as my personal Savior and Lord. I commit myself to You and ask You to send the Holy Spirit into my life, to fill me and take control, and to help me become the kind of person You want me to be. Thank You, Father, for loving me. In Jesus’ Name, I pray. Amen.”

The Amen came out as a mere breath, and it was followed by the most profound moment he’d ever experienced. Could it be true? Could God really have been standing right there the whole time, ready and waiting to accept him, just like that?

“You okay?” the pastor asked, and Derek relaxed like he never had before.

“Yeah. I think I finally am.”

“Derek,” Jaycee said, standing from the table and going to the window when she saw the headlights go through the yard. She could have called him to find out where he was and to make sure he was all right. Of course, she knew that, but she also knew that random phone calls could slow a project down to a crawl if you let them, and she didn’t want to do that to him especially since she already felt guilty for falling out of line. “Thank goodness.”

The headlights cut off, plunging the yard beyond the window into darkness. He probably hadn’t eaten, so she went to the refrigerator and started getting the leftovers out. Green beans, squash, and pulled pork. At least he wouldn’t go hungry with Sage’s cooking.

She heard the back door squeak and then close quietly. Good thing because the kids were already in bed. She had the plate already ready to go into the microwave when he came around the corner. “I hope you’re hungry. Sage outdid herself tonight.”

“Famished.” He walked over to the table and collapsed into a chair.

Jaycee raised her eyebrows in concern. “That doesn’t look good. What happened to the pastor’s floors?”

“7,000 screws, that’s what happened.” He turned and put his elbows on the table, rubbing his eyes like they were no longer working properly. “It’s not possible to have that many screws in a floor. I think I was down there for like four hours. I went through two screw guns and an extra battery.”

The microwave dinged, and she retrieved the meal, bringing it over to him and setting it in front of him. Without comment, she went to get silverware and then a drink. “You want water or tea?”

“Whatever. I’m not going to taste anything anyway.”

With more concern, she went over and got a glass of water. Setting it down in front of him, she surveyed his bent frame. “You look beat.”

“With a stick,” he said, parroting their favorite comeback as he picked up the fork and ate very slowly.

Going around him, she put her hand on his back and slid it there as she sat down. “You need a day off, or a month.”

He ate three bites. “No time. We should have been done with the pastor’s by Friday. At this rate, we’ll be lucky to be done with it by next Friday. We haven’t even started on the church yet. Of course Luke’s doing good on the cabinets, but the new windows are here for Ms. P’s, and there’s nobody to go and put them in.”

Feeling imminently helpless and very much responsible, Jaycee put her hand on his back and rubbed there.

“Uh.” His eyes closed for a second, forgetting the food. “That feels good. I think the knots in my shoulders have knots. Stupid screws.”

Because she couldn’t think of anything else to do for him, she stood and went behind him, placing her hands on the edges of his collarbone and digging in.

“Oh, man. Ow. Oh.” He half-moaned. “Ow. Ah. Ugh. That is sore. Ow.”

“You need to take a bath in Sports Rub the way this feels.” She dug deeper though her hands were no match for his tight muscles.

“Oh. Ow. Oh. Ugh. Ow. Oh. Am I dead yet?”

As painful as it sounded, one part of her became amused at his theatrics. “All that macho can-do spirit taken out by a few little innocent screws. Who would’ve guessed?”

“A few? That whole floor was covered in them. I didn’t know they made so many screws.”

“And why did you have to be the one to take them all out?”

“Ow. Because I was the one who got us into this mess. Besides, you know the drill, everyone else goes home, and we stay until 3 a.m. trying to get it all ready for tomorrow.”

“Except I wasn’t there to stay with you.”

“Yeah, I’m beginning to think this vertigo thing is a con-job to get you out of pulling screws.” Then, suddenly, he sat up straight. “Wait a minute.” He spun around and jerked his head backward as he looked at her suspiciously. “You look almost… normal.”

Jaycee jerked her head the opposite way backward. “Gee thanks.”

“No.” And this time he forgot all about his meal and turned to put his arm on the back of the chair. “You look…” He searched for a better word and came up with the same one. “Normal, like not sick and everything.”

She smiled. “Well, that’s because I’ve had a really good doctor.” Taking hold of him, she spun him back to his supper. “He’s this really amazing guy I know.”

“Dr. Braun?” he asked, slurping up a green bean. “I didn’t realize you were into 60 year olds with lab coats.”

Lifting her elbow, she dug it into his back, and he jumped.

“Ow!”

“Yeah, ow. You keep that up, you’ll think ow.”

“Man, a guy makes one innocent little observation and all of a sudden she’s like death-to-the-prisoner. Ow,” he said, but this time it was more teasing than not. “You know, you’d better be careful back there. We still have to do your exercises tonight.”

“Oh, yeah, huh? I was kind of hoping you forgot about that.”

“Not a chance. The faster I get you able to take screws out of floors again, the sooner I’m not stuck doing all the work.”

In ten minutes the dishes were done, and Derek wiped his hands on the towel and flipped it over the holder. “I think it’s payback time.”

She scrunched her face. “I’m not going to like this, am I?”

“You should’ve thought of that when you were giving me that back rub earlier. Come on.” Reaching between them, he took her hand. “I promise I’ll be a lot nicer than you were.”

True surprise pounded through her gaze when his fingers intertwined with hers. “Now I’m really worried.”

“Come on,” he said just incredibly happy to be in her presence again. “No chickening out on me.”

“Not fair challenging me. You know I can’t resist a good challenge.”

“Then you should love this.”

In the bedroom, she put the pillow at the end of the bed and sat down backward. “Now go easy on me. Remember I was only trying to help with that backrub.”

He grinned down at her as he cracked his knuckles by inverting his fingers. “Oh, that was helping?”

“It was supposed to,” she said meekly.

Chapter 24

“K. Here we go.” Derek took her head in his hand and in one motion brought her down, negative gravity and to the side. When the movement stopped, he grinned at her. “Hey, you’re getting better at that.”

“It’s not so bad when you trust you’re not going to get dropped.”

Looking at her like this, Derek couldn’t help but feel the utter amazement flood his soul. All he wanted was to fuse his whole life to hers, sharing everything with her. “So I’ve got news.”

“Oh, no. You’re quitting and running off to Cancun?”

“No. But that’s an idea.” His grin widened to include his heart. “Somebody’s in love.” He bounced his eyebrows up and down excitedly.

However, instead of registering happiness, her face fell into concern. “In love? Who?”

The fact that he knew something she didn’t dripped mischievousness into his soul. “Oh, come on now, Sunshine. You knew it before they did.”

Several thoughts went through her confused eyes until all of a sudden they widened to U.F.O. size. “Caleb and Rachel?”

“You guessed it. He’s going to ask her out for Friday night. And he’s been to her mother’s house at least once for supper, and he got conned into fixing her mom’s house up while he was there.”

“Oh. Wow. This is serious.” She smiled wistfully. “They’re going to make an amazing couple. He’s so perfect for her. Stable, steady, rock-solid.”

“It’s time to turn.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Seriously? You can’t wait another 30 seconds? I was really enjoying that dream.”

“Here we go. One. Two. Three.” Gently he shifted her head to the other side and watched with a long, slow breath as her body adjusted. The reaction was nowhere near as violent or frightening now, but it wasn’t gone yet either. When she relaxed with a long sigh, he angled his gaze down to hers again. “So, this dream you were talking about…”

With that, she relaxed even more. “I know. A little girl’s fantasy, right? Find a great guy who loves you more than you’ve ever dreamed possible and life is all roses and rainbows. Good luck with that, huh?”

At the moment Derek couldn’t help but think she had no idea. “You still don’t think it’s possible?”

Instead of a quick answer, she considered that for a long moment. “You know, I look at Luke and Sage, and I think, ‘That’s what I want. Just simply being so in love, even in the hard times.’ And then I look at my life, and simple is nowhere to be found. Complicated. High maintenance. Who would want to be around that? That’s far more me. Part of me wonders if what they have is a flash of lightning, a stroke of luck, whatever—one-in-a-million-gazillion chance. Only possible for a very chosen few. That’s what it feels like.”

At that moment he had that feeling again, the one of being let inside a world only she inhabited.

“Then I think, ‘It’s not all roses and rainbows for them either.’ I mean, I know Sage was hurt and mad when he didn’t get them out, and I know Luke was stuck in a no-win situation. So that wasn’t great or simple for either of them.” She released a breath. “It’s like my mom and dad, you know. I mean, all those years. How do you trust somebody again when they do the worst thing possible? How do you get past that and love them after something like that?” Even in his hands, she shook her head. “I don’t think I could do it. I don’t think I could know what he’s done and just be okay with that. Him being with someone else? That’s just not okay. You know?”

The words felt like knives running his heart through. “It’s time.”

“Okay,” she said softly, and with gentle ease, he sat her up. Back upright, she released a longer breath and let herself find center and solid again as he held her there.

Derek’s gaze never left her as his heart free fell through his chest. “You okay?”

Looking up at him, she smiled. “Getting there.”

It was going on eleven by the time Derek got out to help with the cabinets that Luke was making remarkable progress on.

“Wow. If you ever need a job…” Derek said, running a hand over one of the finished lower cabinets.

Luke turned from where he was sanding. “Hey! The creature lives.”

“That’s being kind of optimistic.” Derek rolled his shoulder around twice. “The pastor’s floor about killed me.”

“So I heard. How’s that going?”

“It would be great if we’d quit finding so many problems, but then again…”

A second and the sanding stopped. “Then again what?”

Instead of getting to work, Derek sat down on one of the cabinets, needing a friend or at least someone who would listen. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure. What’s up?”

“Well, church is important to you, isn’t it?”

One of Luke’s eyebrows went up. “The correct answer to that would be ‘yes.’ Why?”

“Just…” Derek shrugged. “It’s never been that important to me. I mean, like, as in, not even on the radar screen unimportant, but I’m starting to see a lot of things I’ve never seen before, understand them in a different way sort of thing. I don’t know.” He thought through that thought. “I guess I never saw myself as that kind of guy before—the one who goes to church, the one who thinks about God and spiritual stuff. I was more just kind of trying to get through the day in one piece and scope out the nearest party at night.

“But now, since I’ve been here, since I’ve been talking with the pastor and you and Sage and everybody… I kind of wonder if I’m missing something in life. You guys all seem like you have it all figured out, like you’re not bumping around in a dark room trying not to hurt yourself too badly. Me, the things I thought I had figured out now look like they were wrong, and the things I didn’t get now feel like maybe they’re more real than anything I’ve ever done.”

He stopped the rambling explanation that even he didn’t understand and shook his head. “I don’t know, sometimes I think I must be losing my mind.” Holding his hands up, he pushed up to straight. “Don’t feel like you have to make sense of any of that because it doesn’t even make sense to me.”

However, Luke’s gaze softened. “Your life is changing. It’s getting deeper in ways you didn’t know could happen.”

Derek’s spirit panicked. How could Luke possibly know that? “Something like that.”

With a small smile, Luke nodded. “You’re growing up.”

“I’m 35.”

Luke shook his head. “Eh. That’s just a number. Growing up isn’t about the number. It’s about what you do when you learn to put childish ways aside, like the Bible says. You stop pursuing the easy, just-for-fun answers, and you start really questioning, ‘Is this all there is, and what is the real meaning of not just life but of my life?’ I can tell you when that happened for me.”

“When’s that?”

“Four times,” Luke said, holding his hand up. He stuck out his thumb. “When I married Sage.” He put out his forefinger followed by the others. “And each time we got pregnant and had a kid.” He laughed. “Those first two coming together about took my knees out from under me I’ll tell you that. I was 22 years old with a wife and twins. You can bet I did a whole lot of soul-searching and saying, ‘God, what were You thinking, and what was I thinking? I’m not ready for this!’” He grinned. “But God’s smart. He knows how to show you what you really need. Maybe He’s just trying to say, ‘Derek, it’s time to grow up, dude.’”

Part of Derek wished he could talk to Jaycee about all of this; part of him knew he wouldn’t have the words even if he tried. Either way, he was glad the house was dark by the time they made it in long after midnight. One thing was for sure, six o’clock was going to come mighty early.

“You know, you’re kind of cute upside down,” Derek said the next morning as Jaycee once again put her life in his hands.

She was pretty sure this wasn’t necessary anymore as the room hadn’t so much as flinched when she’d rolled over to get out of bed ten minutes before, but who was arguing with the doctor’s orders? “Yeah, this upside down thing is a really good look for you too.”

His smile turned into a laugh. “Who would’ve guessed, right?”

“Not me.” Closing her eyes, she just let herself be held. It was the best therapy on the planet. “I could stay like this forever.”

As he looked at her, simply relaxing into his strength, all Derek could think was, So could I.

The first stop Derek made was to Rachel’s, the second around one-thirty was to the pastor’s. The insulation crew was back, spraying the stuff on between the outside wall studs. Derek went to find Neil to get an update on the progress.

“Well, we’re good to go here,” Neil said. “Your crew should be able to get in here and slap this thing together by tomorrow.”

“Great,” Derek said just as he heard the front door bang closed. “Thanks for fitting us in.”

Neil nodded and shook his hand. “Great working with you.”

Going out of the room that was otherwise sealed off to protect the rest of the house, Derek found Pastor Steve in the living room.

“Just the man I was looking for,” Derek said.

Looking up from his mail, the pastor lifted his eyebrows. “Oh. That can’t be good.”

With a laugh, Derek shook his head. “No, this time it is. You wouldn’t have time for a little shopping trip, would you?”

“Shopping?” the pastor asked, horrified. “Me?”

“Well, it is your office, and I’m not great with carpet. So if you don’t come with me, you could be staring at orange wall-to-wall shag for the next twenty years.”

“Oh, yeah. Okay.” The pastor put the letters down. “I think I’d better help.”

After alerting the others that he was taking the pastor to Raleigh which was a two-hour trip either way, Derek headed out in the black pickup. Although he wasn’t crazy about missing so much work, he was glad to have time to ask a few questions and maybe get a few answers.

“So how is Jaycee?” the pastor asked when they had driven out of town. “I hope she’s getting better.”

Derek nodded. “Much. That exercise thing the doc gave us is really working wonders. I think by Monday, she’ll be good as new. She’s already up and driving Sage crazy with the design stuff for Ms. P’s house.”

Pastor Steve laughed. “She’s not one to just sit back and let life happen, that’s for sure.”

“No kidding.” Derek shifted downward in the seat to get comfortable before glancing at his passenger. “Mind if I ask you a question?”

“Not at all.”

“The other night, you said something about marriage being like Hold ‘Em, and then we kind of got off track from that with the other stuff. I’ve been trying to understand exactly what you meant by that, and sometimes I think I kind of understand, but…”

The pastor smiled. “Well, first of all, you have to know that I don’t always look at Christianity and what it means through books and words and traditional things. I really see most of the things in the world through a spiritual framework if you will. So, I’m always asking, ‘What does this mean? What can I learn from it spiritually? What can this teach me about God and people?’

“See, I think even the Bible has one overlying meaning that’s pretty simple. Every story in it teaches either one of two things: God’s way works, or man’s way doesn’t. Sure, we can discuss the rules and why God put them in place and the nuances of verses of Scripture. But when taken as a whole, every story is either, God’s way works, or man’s way doesn’t.”

Derek thought through that and finally nodded as he watched the cars zoom past him in the other direction. “So if you follow God’s way…”

“Things eventually work out.”

“And if you don’t…”

“You’re going to find yourself with a life filled with heartache and trouble.”

This nod was even more thoughtful. “Like the room?”

“Right. Eventually you figure out that the world’s way stinks. God’s way will get you out of that and give you peace and joy even in the midst of all the world tries to throw at you.”

“Okay. So then how about Texas Hold ‘Em? What does that have to do with marriage?”

“Well, see, to me, there are stages of that game. It’s not deal one hand, and it’s done. There are stages and decisions that are made throughout. Let’s say for example, that you get dealt your hand, and it’s good. Let’s say it’s a Queen, ten of hearts. Tell me what that hand means to you.”

“Depending on the cards that fall, you could get a straight, you could get a flush, you could get a high two of a kind, or even a full house.” He thought a moment more. “You could even get a straight high flush and be practically unbeatable.”

“Precisely. So is that a hand you would want to play?”

“Sure.”

“Good. If you decide to play, what do you have to do?”

“Put in some of your money.”

“Right. You invest in the hand. Now right away you probably won’t go all-in because the next cards might well go against you. But let’s say on the flop, the three cards are a ten, a jack of hearts and a seven of hearts. Now what?”

Derek thought through the cards on the ‘table’ as if he could see them. “Well, I’ve still got all the possibilities, depending on the turn.”

“So, what’s your decision? Are you going to play or fold?”

“Play.”

“Great. And what do you have to do to play?”

“Invest more money,” Derek said with a laugh.

“Exactly. Now you’ve got some real money on the line, some skin in the game like they like to say. The turn card falls and it’s an ace of hearts. Now what?”

“Well, depending on how the other players were playing up to now, I’d probably be willing to put in some considerable money.”

“Go all-in?”

Derek instantly shook his head. “No, because it’s still not a sure thing. If the river goes against me, I don’t want to lose everything. The only sure thing I have right now is a pair of tens.”

“Okay, so you follow the bets and stay in. Now, let me ask you this, what are your odds of winning big in that hand?”

That scratched across him. “Actual odds?”

“No, more metaphorical odds. Is that a strong hand going into the river?”

“It’s better than a whole lot of them I’ve played in my time.”

“It’s good enough to take a risk on?”

“Yeah.”

The pastor nodded for a long moment, letting all of that settle. “That’s what happens with dating and marriage.”

They’d swung so fast to a different track, Derek wasn’t sure he’d followed. “Uh? How so?”

“Well, you meet this girl. That’s the hand you’re dealt, and you have to decide if this is someone you want to invest your time, your money, and yourself in. Is she a ‘hand’ worth playing? And she’s doing the same with you. So, let’s say for example that you meet her and think, ‘There could really be something here.’ So you ask her out. And she shows up late and drunk. What just happened?”

“My life,” Derek said with a grin, and then he sobered. “The flop went bad against you.”

“Right, so is that a relationship, a hand, you want to invest in?”

“No,” he whispered and then cleared his throat. “Not unless you want to get killed in the game.”

“Or in real life,” the pastor said. “Now let’s say, same hand, she shows up and you really hit it off. I mean, she’s funny and beautiful and just great. What then?”

“Keep playing.”

“Do you go all-in?”

That jerked across Derek’s consciousness, and he managed to shake his head. “Probably wouldn’t be wise.”

“Ah, but people do it all the time, don’t they? They go to a bar, find a cute girl, chat her up, and by the next morning…. Well, you know the drill.”

Better than he wanted to admit. “Okay, so then what you’re saying is, you don’t go all in even on a promising hand, you watch to see how it develops.”

“Correct. You watch… how does she handle conflict, how do you handle conflict with her, how does she handle herself in different situations, do you get along with her family, does she get along with yours, does this relationship have legs to go the distance, or do you really need to fold this one and move on to a new one?”

“That’s a lot of questions.”

The pastor shrugged. “True, but the ones who get it right and eventually win don’t just get lucky. They learn to ask all the right questions, wouldn’t you agree?”

The carpet was chosen, the drapes picked out. They’d even found some very nice pillows in yellow, which Derek smiled about. Jaycee would be happy. He’d tried to talk the pastor into investing in some new furniture because that wasn’t on the scope of the show’s budget, but the pastor declined. He said a purchase like that should be made with the advice and counsel of the church board and his wife. Derek left it at that. He knew better than to argue with a man who so clearly understood the lines and boundaries of life.

When they got back in the pickup to head back, Derek realized it was well after three, and he hadn’t eaten any lunch. “I’m starving. Do you have time to stop? We could do fast food if you need to get back.”

“That’s fine. All I was going to do was work on the sermon, and with all the banging and people coming and going, I might as well wait until tonight anyway.”

“Great.” Derek pulled out of the flooring place and found a little steak house. Sage’s casseroles were wonderful, but he was really getting hungry for a good steak.

Once they were seated and had ordered, Derek put his elbows on the table and laced his fingers together. “The other night, I told you I’d been married before.”

Pastor Steve nodded as he watched him, and Derek had the feeling the man could see right through him.

“It was dumb. I look back on that now, and I can’t really figure out what I was thinking.”

“That happens.”

“But I knew what marriage was. I’d seen it up-close-and-personal with my parents. They fought all the time, and I mean, all the time. Night, day, noon, three o’clock in the morning, for reasons I never really understood.” He shrugged. “I knew it was a bad deal going in, but she convinced me it would be great, and I bought it. We hopped a plane to Vegas one night and by morning we were husband and wife.”

“How long had you known her before that?”

Strange, he’d never really considered that question. “Uh, I don’t know, about six weeks? Two months? Something like that.”

The pastor’s expression became very somber. “And how were things before you got married? She was supportive of you? Helpful? Kind?”

Derek laughed. “I don’t really know that I was thinking about those kinds of things. I mean we had a couple of fights before, but the making up was fun. It was just what could it hurt? You know? I figured if it didn’t work, we’d call it quits and that would be that.”

“Okay, so why get married if you didn’t think it would work?”

Tired slapped over him like a wave. “Good question. Because that’s what she wanted and I didn’t have a good reason to say no?”

Pastor Steve nodded sadly. “It happens.”

“Yeah. Well, what I can’t quite figure out is how it all went so bad so fast. I mean, we were great together. She was beautiful and amazing and everything, and then one day…”

“One day?” the pastor asked after the sentence trailed off into nothing and forgot to get going again.

These words were harder because he’d never quite pinned down exactly what happened. “I had to go to work. It was work. I couldn’t just skip it. But she was mad because I wasn’t home enough or something like that, and she told me that when I got back maybe she wouldn’t be there. I told her that was up to her, and I didn’t really care one way or the other.” He shrugged. “I know that’s harsh, but we’d been fighting a lot by then, just screaming matches about she had bought these dishes, and I didn’t think we needed new dishes. Or she was going out of town with friends, or I was late from work. It was always something. It was like we got off-balance and could never really find the center again.”

He stopped to breathe and to take a drink from the water the waiter had brought. “Couple days later I got the divorce papers. Didn’t really surprise me. She was miserable. I was miserable. What were we even holding on for? She came and got her stuff a few days later. It was all just gone when I got back. She left the key and a note, ‘Thanks for nothing,…’” he almost said the last word and then remembered who he was talking to. This shrug hurt more. “Pretty much confirmed what I thought about marriage. So after that, I made it a point… I didn’t invest anything of myself, as you would say. I went out, I had a good time, I found women who were cool with the whole one night or one evening thing, and it worked.

“Well, it kind of worked. A couple times I’d wake up the next morning and wonder what the heck I was doing. But overall, I just decided that’s how my life was and there wasn’t really much need of changing it.”

The pastor nodded. “So you went all-in on a two-seven off-suit hand, got burned badly and lost your belief that you could ever really win at the game so why even try?”

Hard to believe the pastor could put it all so succinctly, but he had. Derek nodded slowly. “Something like that. I didn’t think relationships were worth all the drama and heartache.”

With a tip of his head and a sip of his drink, the pastor considered that. “Okay, so what’s changed?”

The exhale was hard and fast, and as Derek thought through the question, he closed his eyes to the pain he found there. “I don’t want to make that mistake again, but I’m terrified I’m going to.” Forcing himself to face this, he opened his eyes and looked right at the pastor. “The truth is, I never meant to fall for Jaycee. I didn’t. I’m not even sure I realized I had until just recently. We were just together, like, all the time. Working on projects, driving to and from airports. Course we were always in separate rooms at the hotels, and it wasn’t ever like that, like…”

“Dating?”

“Yeah, like dating. We were just together. She kept the schedule. I did the work. She got things ready. I stepped in and took all the glory. Man, that sounds bad.” He shook his head and closed his eyes again. “I never realized how much I took her for granted until she wasn’t there.”

“This week?”

“No. It started with Gabriel, when it was coming in and she was more concerned with her family than about me.” This was getting worse. He sounded like a heel. “I know, that sounds horrible.”

“It sounds truthful, and before we can ever make good decisions, we have to be courageous enough to be able to tell the truth. So what’s your truth now?”

Derek thought that through, and although being that truthful scared him, he saw no real way to lie. “I’m in love with her. I wake up thinking about her. I want to be with her more than I’ve ever wanted to be with anyone. She makes me laugh. She makes me a want to be a better person—for her and just because I see better in her eyes.”

“Okay, so what’s the problem?”

Derek’s gaze slipped down to the table. “She knows what I am, what I’ve been.”

The pastor nodded slowly.

“When I’d go out with the other women partying, she was always right there—back at the hotel, getting things ready. She knows I’m a love-‘em-and-leave-‘em kind of guy. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to convince her otherwise.”

“You know, that’s actually not a bad thing,” the pastor finally said.

Derek arched both eyebrows. “Well, that’s encouraging.”

“No, hear me out. Have you ever heard of the term ‘gaslighting’?”

“Like on a stove?”

Pastor Steve laughed. “No. Gaslighting refers to a situation when one person tries to convince another that their internal radar is off, that they’re in effect crazy and they can’t trust their own judgment. They try to talk the other person out of their own reality, so the victim cannot trust themselves and what they know to be real.”

Derek wiped his hands together slowly. “Okay?”

“The good news is Jaycee still trusts her instincts with you. She’s not been conned into overwriting her own instincts.”

Derek’s eyebrows shot for the ceiling. “And that’s a good thing?”

“Yes. Especially if you’re serious about this relationship being grounded in the truth.” The pastor leaned forward. “You see, you have to show her that you really have changed. Not words. Not sweeping her off her feet and trying to convince her to distrust herself. Instead, you have to be this new version of Derek who really is devoted only to her, who really does put her at the top of the list, who really is the man he says he is.”

“Whew.” Derek sat back. “That’s a tall order, Pastor. I’m not even sure all of that stuff is really even true yet. I mean, what if I can’t do it. What if I can’t be who she needs me to be?”

“Then you have to fold the hand, for her sake.” He paused only a second. “But I will tell you this, God never made man to be perfect, and there are none of us who are. We are all made with our own challenges. We take things in, and we learn who we can trust, what we can trust, and what we can’t. That information goes into our nervous system and it becomes a part of us. To reset that literally takes relearning it, reprogramming it.” This pause was shorter. “Jaycee learned that men aren’t trustworthy from her father, a devastating lesson. If you decide that this relationship is worth pursuing, then you have to be willing to show her in ways big and small that you can be trusted.

“And before you tell me that you don’t know if you can do that, let me assure you right now, that you can’t. None of us as humans is capable of truly loving others unconditionally—the way they want and need to be loved. That’s why marriage without God is so hard. In a marriage, you literally vow to do the impossible. To love no matter what – in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in good times and in bad. The truth is the only One Who can do that consistently is God. So without Him knitting a marriage together with His love, the chance of them lasting into eternity is very, very slim.”

“So what you’re saying then is, I’m not crazy for thinking this sounds impossible?”

“Absolutely not. I wake up every day falling on the Grace of God. I tell Him all the time, ‘God, I’m sunk here. If you don’t show up, this is never going to work.’ I acknowledge that I can’t and I ask for Him to do it through me and with me and in me. And He has and He does every single day.”

Derek dipped his head and scratched it. “This is pretty intense stuff. I mean, I thought people fall in love and it works or it doesn’t.”

The pastor nodded. “I bet you hire guys to work for you all the time like that.”

“Like what?”

“They don’t know what they’re doing, and you don’t really train them. You just say, ‘Here’s the tools. Use whatever you want. Good luck.’”

“Yeah.” Derek breathed the word as he shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

“So what do you do?”

“Well, I train them, and I supervise them as they learn, and… Oh.”

“But you’re willing to go into love and marriage without bothering to learn anything about love or marriage or the hand you’ve been dealt.”

This time Derek ran his hand all the way over his head. “Wow. You don’t go for the easy answers, do you?”

“The easy answers are the world’s answers, and they only lead to heartache and misery. I’m trying to show you the Door, God’s way, the way out of the chaos. But it’s your choice whether to take it or not.”

Derek thought through all of it. “So how do I do it? How do I do it God’s way?”

“Well, first, you take the time to really get to know her—what does she like, what does she not like, who is she on a deep, soul level, what are her hopes, her dreams, her fears, what does she remember about growing up, and what would she rather forget?

“And…” the pastor said with an ominous tone, “you let her get to know you as well.”

The two hour trip back to Ridgemount was a study in learning about himself. They talked about his home life, his growing up. Everything, Derek assumed, that he was supposed to share with Jaycee if he ever got up that much courage. While it was nice to talk with someone who didn’t feel like judge and jury, he wasn’t at all sure she would be so willing to listen.

By the time they got back, there really was no reason to think about work. Derek probably couldn’t have if he would’ve wanted to.

“Thanks for the trip,” the pastor said, “and I’ll be praying for you. Let me know if you have more questions.”

Derek had the feeling he was going to need every prayer he could get. “Thanks.”

The house had gotten seriously old, so after supper, Jaycee quietly followed Luke out to the shop, hoping her sister wouldn’t notice her absence.

“This is a little dangerous, don’t you think?” Luke asked when she came in and sat down to watch him.

Slumping slightly she sighed. “I’m just sitting here. How dangerous can it be?”

He shook his head even as he got to work. “Derek’s not going to be happy to come home and find you out here.”

She shrugged. “He won’t be back until later. He went to Raleigh with Pastor Steve, and who knows what he’s going to find to have to fix up there before he comes back?”

“You know that’s legit, right?” Luke asked as if he was worried.

She sighed again. “I know. I’ve worked with them long enough to know things very rarely go how you think they will. Lotta late night personal experience with that one.”

Luke nodded. “Okay, good because it’s not like he’s avoiding you or anything.”

“I know.” And she really did. She fell into the feelings, grappling with them as she had been for a week or more. “He’s changed.”

Glancing up from the wood he was cutting, Luke shot her a confused look. “How?”

She thought about it. “I’m not sure if it’s just being out here or what, but he used to be all Mr. Bigshot Hollywood, look at me, aren’t I wonderful. But this week… when I got sick, doing the exercise things, working with you, even being happy for Caleb and Rachel. He just seems so different.”

“Good different or bad different?”

Derek pulled in and killed the motor. Since he’d eaten only two hours before, he decided to go out to the shop to check on Luke first. He really was letting Luke down with helping on the cabinets. Then he’d run in and check on Jaycee. Part of him still panicked at the very thought of seeing her. Being real with her? Being truthful with her? Removing the walls from between them? That all sounded incredibly dangerous.

Dangerous to his heart, dangerous to everything he’d ever learned about what a relationship could do to you. He pulled the door of the shop open and stepped inside the small anteroom and stopped in the darkness to let his eyes adjust.

“Like I don’t know what to think any more different,” the woman’s voice said. Jaycee. And Derek froze. What was she doing out here?

“I mean, face it,” she continued. “He’s Derek West. He’s got charm coming out of his ears. He could have any girl he wanted, and he has, you know? He did. Believe me, he was never desperate in that area when we were out on the road. But now we’re out here, and he’s so different, and I can’t tell, is that because we’re out here and there’s not really many other options, or…”

Luke moved from the other side of the room. “Or?”

Knowing he should let them know he was there, Derek leaned forward to get himself moving. He shouldn’t be standing here listening to this.

“Or is there really something there?” she said, the breath barely holding the words. “Then I think I’m just being ridiculous. I mean, me with Derek West.” She laughed in a way that sliced through him. “That’s funny, right?”

“Why not you?” Luke asked.

“It’s called being realistic, Luke. Guys like him don’t fall for me, and besides, I don’t even know if I want that—with him or with anyone.” She sighed. “I never really told you this, but doing that, falling in love and everything… it scares me to death. I mean, there was you, and you were great, and we… not that I ever thought about us like that back then. But then you got together with Sage, and I’ve always thought, why? Why you and Sage? Why not you and me? I know, that’s weird, and I’m not like that anymore… with you. And don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it worked out with you and Sage, but… I do wonder sometimes, why did I push you away? Why didn’t I give you a chance? Did we not work because we weren’t supposed to work or because I didn’t let us? And then I wonder, am I even capable of having a real relationship like that, or is it not something I’ll ever have?”

“You know what I think?” Luke asked, and Derek wanted to know more than he could put into words.

“What’s that?”

“I think, you’re both trying to talk yourself out of something that everyone else thinks has already happened. I see how you look at him, how he looks at you, and if you want to know my opinion, I think you know how you really feel about him, but you won’t let yourself feel it because of who he is and what you think he is.”

“But that’s not something he can change. It’s not something I could change in him even if I wanted to, even if I thought I could. He is who he is.”

“That doesn’t mean he can’t grow into something new, and it doesn’t mean you can’t either.”

The saw started up, and Derek recognized his opportunity. He opened the door behind him and let it bang closed. Striding forward lest they start talking again before he got there, he was halfway into the main shop before he stopped. She was sitting off to the side, on a stool over by the radio. Simple jeans and a pale yellow T-shirt, her hair up as always, and he knew right then what his decision was. He was in love with her, and whatever happened, he wanted this to work. Not for a night, not for a month, but for forever. “Hey guys,” he said, and both gazes jerked over to him.

“Hey, dude,” Luke said. “You’re back early.”

“Depends on your definition of early,” Derek said, looking over at her. “So, out of the bed, out of the house? Should I be worried or is this a good thing?”

Her smile lit her whole face. “I think it’s a good thing.”

Chapter 25

It was nearly midnight when the three of them made it back into the house. The cabinets would be ready to go in on Monday. Thanks mostly to Luke, and strangely, as Derek held her head and looked down at her, he couldn’t help but be grateful that she and Luke hadn’t worked out. Like this, perfectly relaxed, perfectly trusting, he couldn’t believe how much he loved her. Not once had love never felt like this. Attraction, yes. Enjoyment, yes. But not like this. This was love.

“You’re feeling better then?” he asked softly both because she looked so peaceful and because the whole house was silent.

“Hmm,” she said without opening her eyes. “I’m going to miss this on Saturday.”

Derek couldn’t stop the smile. He completely understood. “Well, what do you say we make up for it on Saturday then?”

Opening her eyes, she gazed at him, puzzled. “Make up for it? What does that mean?”

He shrugged without jostling her. “It means I’m ready for a day off.”

The puzzlement on her face deepened. “I’ve just had four days off. They’re going to think I’m never coming back.”

“Well, if I’m gone, they won’t be around to notice, will they?” His smile brushed across even his heart. Then he knew he had to make it clear this wouldn’t be a “working” anything. That understanding whisked his smile away leaving only seriousness. “The truth is…” He had to take a breath because the words choked into his throat. Was he really going to do this? Was he really going to actually ask her out? “The truth is, I want to go out with you, Jaycee. Like out-out, like on a date out.”

The whipsawing of emotions across her face was reminiscent of the throes of vertigo. “What?”

He knew she’d heard and that she’d understood, but he also knew why she needed the confirmation. “I know, this isn’t what you planned. It wasn’t in the script, but I can’t keep trying to pretend this isn’t there. I can’t keep acting like you’re just somebody I happen to work with.” The fact that the two minutes was up jumped on him. “Hold on.”

Carefully, gently he both twisted her head and then moved to the other side. When they were finally at rest again, he let himself really look at her, into her eyes that held only worry, confusion, and panic. “Look, I know, what you think of me, and I don’t blame you for that. I know I was a jerk leaving you alone all those nights when we were traveling, going out partying and acting like I was king of the world. But I’ve been doing some thinking, a lot of thinking actually.”

Knowing he had to say this for them to have any chance, he shifted before growing still. “The truth is, when I think about my life, I can’t imagine it with you not right there. At work, yes. But all the other times too. You’re like…” He grasped for an analogy, something to make her understand. “You know, how a flower has a stem?”

Very gently and with great concern, she nodded.

“Well, you’re my stem. I can’t do what I do without you.”

“But you have me,” she said softly. “I’m not quitting.”

“Yeah, but I’m beginning to think it’s more than that.” Frustrated because he couldn’t find the words to explain himself, he looked at his watch. “Hold on.” Carefully he lifted and sat her up, checking to be sure she made the journey with no motion sickness. “You okay?”

She nodded but didn’t look wholly sure of that.

“Okay. Good.” Still nodding, he came beside her and sat down on the bed. “Jayc, in my whole life I never thought I’d feel like this, like I needed someone, like I wanted to be with them like this, like I do with you. I mean, I’d go party with girls, have some laughs, a few drinks, but I could live without them. Most of the time I didn’t even think of them the next morning. I know, that sounds horrible, but it’s the truth. Women were a nice way to kill a few hours. But they weren’t important to me like that, like this.” He let out a hard breath and put his head down. “I’m sorry. I imagined this so much different.”

A moment and he picked his gaze up to hers. “The truth is, if this was about wanting to do with you what I did with them, I could do that. But I’ve never done this. I’ve never been so in love with someone that I have no clue what I’m doing. I want to sweep you off your feet, but I don’t want you to freak out again. I want to go out with you, on a date and it not be awkward, but I don’t want you to think you have to go out with me because I’m the boss or whatever. I just…”

Jaycee wasn’t exactly sure when it happened, but as he talked and rambled, she began to get a real sense of just how off-kilter he was. This wasn’t Derek West, superstar who could talk an Eskimo into buying a swimsuit. This was a man who was putting his heart on the line, knowing she could squash it with her boot if she chose to. “So you’re serious?” she finally asked. “You really want to go out with me, on a date? Like a real, actual date?”

He let out a breath. “I just want a chance… with you, Jaycee.” When his gaze came over to hers, it held a genuine fear she might tell him no. “Is that even possible?”

As she looked at him, her heart gave up its fight and she laughed softly. Her gaze fell between them and brushed across his hands. Hands that were so gentle and caring, hands that had brought such beauty into the world, hands that were hard-working and capable. Gently, slowly, she bridged the gap between them and put her hand over his, wrapping it there as if to reassure him he was safe with her.

Another second and when she looked up, she found herself looking through his eyes into eternity. “It’s so weird.”

Worry coursed across his face. “What’s that?”

“You.” She let out a breath. “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve told myself this wasn’t real? That you were just being Derek, like you were with everybody? That I needed to quit feeling like a school girl with a terrible-bad-horrible crush on you?”

Confused hope replaced the worry. “Seriously?”

She arched her eyebrows. “Are you kidding me? Yes. And I kept thinking it would get better, that eventually, being with you would get to be old hat and I’d get over it. But this week…” She tightened her grip on his hand, and he squeezed back as pure hope flooded his eyes. “The more we were together, the more you were here with me…”

He nodded slightly, his gaze never leaving hers. “I know. I was the same way.”

The words between them dissipated as his eyes held hers for one more moment. Then shifting an inch and then another, he leaned toward her, and for the first time, Jaycee wasn’t running. Taking his hand from hers, his fingers brushed across her neck sending spirals of desire cartwheeling through her. She closed her eyes to soak in the feeling and relinquished control of the moment to him.

As Derek watched her, melting into his touch, he knew what it was to watch a flower bloom. “You are so beautiful.” And then, knowing she wouldn’t run, he leaned toward her and brushed his lips across hers. A hard jolt of desire sparked between them, and it left him stunned and only wanting more. However, he backed up, knowing with that one touch of her lips on his how easily this could get out of hand, knowing he had to be the one to protect her even from himself. “Jayc, I’m…”

He’d never known that being the protector would be so impossible.

Taking. That’s what he was good at, but this was incredibly different. Sliding closer to her, he put both arms around her and tightened his embrace. “I don’t want to mess this up. It’s too important, but I’m not sure…”

“Yeah, I know,” she whispered. “It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

The Friday morning exercise session seemed the shortest of any they had spent together. Jaycee knew it was time to get back on track with work, and the fact that the date issue was more overwhelming than the work issue meant she studiously skirted the dating issue, hoping he wouldn’t bring it up. He didn’t, which was fine by her although part of her kept wondering if she had in fact dreamt the wonderful moment the night before. If it wasn’t a dream, then Saturday couldn’t come fast enough.

All day Friday Derek’s mind played Sardines with the thoughts of the upcoming date. It was like the more he thought about it, the more possibilities and worries crowded into his mind. How could this be so much like all the other times and yet nothing like them at all? He’d been on a thousand dates, and not one had ever put him into such a panic. How could it feel so incredibly important that he couldn’t quite grasp just how he was going to pull it off?

Should they go out and eat? A nice restaurant with candles and wine or was that too formal, too much pressure? Maybe a family restaurant, or then again, maybe that was too casual. They could do something fun, go bowling or to the movies in Raleigh. But those hardly said romance, and he was bound and determined to make her see she was the kind of woman who deserved romance.

Rose petals and wine sounded great, but was that pushing too hard too fast? Nothing at all seemed just right, and it suddenly felt unbelievably important to get it all just right.

So when the pastor showed up in his office around 3:30, Derek was like a man grabbing for a life preserver. “You know, I’ve been thinking. We really need to run over and check out the church. Do you have a few minutes?”

“Absolutely.”

The questions and possibilities jammed into his mind so he could hardly untangle them all. He did a passable job of measuring and inspecting the damage to the church. The biggest issue would be reapplying the plaster to the inside ceiling and walls once they were fixed. That was tedious and not something his crew would be able to do. He would have to get people skilled in that art to come in, and he wasn’t sure how to even find such people.

“When do you think you’ll start on this?” the pastor asked from where he stood on the floor of the church as Derek inspected the area they would be repairing.

“Monday or Tuesday. I’ll have to call someone about the plastering. We don’t really do that kind of thing. So depending on their schedule, we may slip Ms. P’s windows ahead of this one.” He made notes on his small notebook.

“Well, I have to say they are doing a fabulous job on my office,” the pastor said. “I thought you were out of your mind doing all of that work, but it sure is coming together beautifully.”

“That’s what we’re here for.” Making one more note, Derek descended the extended ladder, his mind no longer on the notes. He let out a breath and looked at the pastor, not sure how to even ask now that he was here.

“Is that all?” Pastor Steve asked, sensing Derek wasn’t finished but not knowing what else there could be.

“On the building, yes,” Derek said. “But there is… something. If you have a minute.”

The pastor smiled, clearly knowing the direction this was going. “For you, I have more than one.”

Derek breathed a long breath. “That’s good because it might take more than one.”

Going over to a pew, the pastor sat and indicated the seat next to him which Derek took.

“So are we playing Hold ‘Em again?” the pastor asked.

This smile turned into a soft laugh. “Well, we’re trying to. I asked her out.”

The pastor nodded, happy but concerned. “That’s good, right?”

Tipping his head, Derek shook it. “This is going to sound completely bizarre, but this whole thing with her… it’s just… I want to do it right, you know? But I don’t know how to do that. I want to be who she needs me to be, but I don’t know who that is or how to do that either. We’re going out tomorrow, and I have no idea if I should take her out to eat or to a movie or…”

“Have you asked her what she would like to do?”

That jerked Derek’s gaze up. “Is that… cool? To ask her? I thought I was kind of supposed to know.”

With a shake of his head, the pastor smiled. “There is something to be said for knowing the woman well enough to know what she’d like, but right now, you don’t. So asking is not a bad second option.”

“I just feel so bad at this. I want to get to know her, like you’ve said, but I don’t know how to do that. Getting to know someone was never really important on the dates I’ve been on before.”

The pastor laughed softly and shook his head. “Going all in on hands you don’t even look at?”

“Yeah, and now I’m staring at this hand, and I want to play it more than anything, but…” He let out a long breath and shook his head. “Maybe I just don’t know how to play a winning hand. Is that possible?”

“Winning takes two things: recognizing the right hand and learning to play the right hand right.” Turning, the pastor laid his arm across the back of the pew. “You know, I’ve thought a lot about our little analogy with Hold ‘Em and relationships, and I’ve realized something about my relationship with Jane.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

“I totally misplayed it a couple of times when it was dealt to me at first. While we were dating, we had issues and we broke up and got back together a couple of times, but I kept getting that hand dealt back to me until I finally learned to play it right. That doesn’t always happen, but sometimes you have to learn to play the hand you get dealt in a relationship. I do think with a winning hand, it’s important to really dig deep and understand it. The best way I know to do that is to have a lot of time to talk and share and communicate. Ask her about her and be willing to share about yourself.”

“That’s a tall order,” Derek said skeptically.

“Well, you said you wanted to win this hand. Maybe it’s time to learn a new way of playing the game.”

Later that night as Derek held her head for the last time, he gazed at her. Strange how he could be at such perfect peace but in such turmoil at the same time. This was like jumping off the sheer side of a cliff with no safety rope attached and no net below. “So if you could go one place while you’re here in Ridgemount, where would it be?” he asked softly so as not to jostle the peace in her eyes.

“Hmm.” She sighed. “I was thinking the other day it’s been a long time since I’ve been out to the lake. When we were at Mom’s, I saw a picture of Ryder and me with a fish we caught out there when I was like ten or something. We used to go out all the time. My dad has this little rowboat. We used to go out on the lake for hours in that thing, and then we all got older and everybody had other stuff that was more important.” The shrug was nostalgic with a touch of sadness. “Crazy how that happens. Things you think will last forever, and then they’re gone just like that.”

The stab of the terror knife struck him so suddenly, he could hardly catch his breath. Gone? Could this time be gone with her just like that? He couldn’t let that happen. Tipping his head just slightly he smiled. “What else do you remember… from growing up?”

Her smile slid deeper into the memories. “A lot of the normal stuff, you know? Playing in puddles with Luke, my first car, the first time I dented Dad’s pickup.”

Derek raised his eyebrows.

She laughed both at the memory and at him. “Somebody should’ve warned me about that pole.” Her laugh fell away as she breathed. “I thought it would all last forever, that I’d be stuck here in Ridgemount my whole life. That’s why I worked so hard on the basketball thing. Basketball meant a scholarship, and that meant a way out.”

“Why did you want to leave so bad?”

Her gaze dropped from his and held somewhere in the air he couldn’t see. “There were a lot of fights when I was young. Mom and Dad. I could hear them in my room some nights, and I remember Mom crying a lot in the kitchen especially when I was little. I didn’t know why. I just could always feel this… thing… that things weren’t right, like they weren’t settled.”

Derek was mesmerized by her story so much he almost forgot the turn. Checking his watch, he realized it had been three minutes instead of the two. “Time to turn.”

She nodded her consent, and carefully, gently, he turned her head. There wasn’t so much as a wobble to her being. In seconds he had repositioned himself as well.

“So they fought a lot?” he asked to get her talking again. “Your mom and dad?”

“Yeah,” she said softly. “And I didn’t know why. I didn’t understand it. Then when I was about fifteen, I overheard my mom and grandma talking about California. I didn’t really understand it—why they would be talking about what seemed to me a half-a-planet away. Mom was mad because of some money or something. That’s when I really started paying attention to try to figure out what was going on. Eventually, I figured it out… Dad had another child, a Sage somebody. She lived in California, and he paid child support for her. That’s why Mom was so mad… the money and the child.”

“That must’ve been quite a shock.”

Jaycee shrugged. “It made a lot of things make a whole lot more sense, I’ll tell you that. And then Sage came, and things really blew up. By the time I was a senior, I was ready to move to Mars to get away. I remember how people would look at us when we’d go to church and stuff. It was like we’d suddenly sprouted two heads or something. Sage and I fought like crazy that summer. I blamed her for everything, even though now I realize it wasn’t her fault. She was as mixed up about everything as I was. But I was so mad at her for what she’d done to my family. She was the reason they fought. She was the reason we weren’t the Cleavers. It wasn’t fair to her at all, but…”

He waited for a second. “But…”

This sigh was long and slow. “I loved my mom and dad. They were perfect to me, and I couldn’t wrap my brain around the idea that they could have problems like this. They weren’t the ones who should get the blame, but somebody should, so I guess the next most logical person was Sage.” Then Jaycee smiled. “I’m just glad I finally wised up to that one and gave her a chance.”

“That must’ve been hard.”

Her smile slid back into the memories. “Well, the truth is, Luke had a big part in that. I’m not sure he deserved all the grief I gave him over it though.”

“Time to sit up,” Derek said. “You ready?”

“Sure.”

In one smooth motion he had her upright. Looking down at her, he didn’t let go immediately. Instead, he leaned down and kissed the top of her head, loving her more at that moment than he had ever loved anyone. “All done.”

However, before he could take his hands away, she looped her hands up over his to keep them there as she looked up and right into his eyes. “I’m kind of hoping it’s just the beginning.”

He smiled all the way into the soft middle of his heart. “Well, we’ll see what we can do about that.” Then he leaned in and kissed her for real. The soft velvet of her lips sent spirals of desire and hope spinning through him. Just the beginning was starting to look really good.

Finally he backed up, laughing softly because her kiss challenged him to not stop, and yet he knew if he didn’t, all-in would be a very short trip. “You’re dangerous, you know that?”

“Me?” Her gaze held both innocence and knowing. “You started this.”

He backed up farther, having to pull his hands from her grasp. “I’ll be here to get you at ten tomorrow morning.” Pointing at her, he backed up even further toward the door. She looked amazing in the soft, dim lamp light. Oh, what he wouldn’t give… Still, he backed. “Be ready.”

Twisting on the bed so her knee came up to it, she never let him go with her gaze. “You didn’t tell me where we’re going.”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Well, what am I supposed to wear?”

“Something comfortable.”

“Comfortable like work comfortable, or comfortable like hanging out comfortable?”

“Uh, hanging out.” And then, he was sure if he stayed one more second, he would not be able to get away. “I’ll see you in the morning.” With that, he whipped himself out of the door and headed down the hall.

“I’ll be here,” she called after him.

The pull of her was unfathomable, and it didn’t stop even after Derek got to the boys’ room. Long after he was in his own bed and tucked securely there, his thoughts never left her. Thinking back through all she had told him, his one thought came again and again. No wonder she was so scared of being in a relationship. He considered that as he lay there, and he put his hand behind his head as his thoughts took it all in. They were so similar even though they looked so different. He thought about the coming day and just being with her. He couldn’t wait.

Chapter 26

With so much to do, Derek was awake before the sun Saturday morning. He didn’t have a trailer, and he was almost sure he would have to make a trip to Greely before he picked her up at ten. Being late wasn’t an option, but there was a lot to do.

In the kitchen, he had started the coffee just about the time Luke showed up.

“Morning,” Luke said, and Derek turned. It was time to call in some favors in the form of good information.

“Morning.”

Thankfully as it turned out, Luke had all the right answers, and so after a short trip to Greely, Derek made the last left and bumped into her parents’ driveway. He’d never been wholly comfortable with them, but now he understood that at least partially. He parked the pickup and short trailer only to find Mr. Lawrence coming out of the garage.

Derek slid out and met Mr. Lawrence mid-driveway. He put out his hand and accepted the handshake coming the other way. “Morning.”

“Morning,” Mr. Lawrence said.

“I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time.”

“Ah. First thing’s never a bad time.” Mr. Lawrence flipped his hand over. “Come on. It’s back in the garage.”

They turned together and headed into the garage. Once inside, Mr. Lawrence went over to the back and pulled plastic bags and boxes away from the wall. “It’s been a long time since we’ve used this thing. I’d about forgotten we had it.”

“Jaycee and I were talking last night,” Derek said, lending a hand to uncover the simple but perfectly intact craft. “She mentioned the lake, and I thought it sounded like a great idea. I hope you don’t mind us using it.”

“Mind? Absolutely not. I’m glad someone’s going to put it to good use.”

It took both of them to get the simple wooden rowboat out into the center of the garage. Once there, Mr. Lawrence set about swiping and blowing off the dust and inspecting it. “Looks good as new if you could get all the dust off.”

Derek laughed. “I’m betting a little time in the lake will take care of that, not to mention the trip over there.”

Mr. Lawrence straightened with a nod. “Well, it’s yours.”

As they stood there, Derek realized this was an important moment. For one second his mind said not to be over-dramatic about it, but then he remembered Pastor Steve’s words about being brave in the face of not wanting to. He put his foot up to the edge of the boat and corralled his nerves. “Um, there is one… other thing, if you have a minute?”

“Sure thing. What’s up?”

Nodding to get the words out, Derek finally lifted his gaze to the man. “Well, the thing is, today’s not just about us going out to the lake. The truth is, it’s a date.”

Understanding sparked in Mr. Lawrence’s eyes. “I see. You and Jaycee?”

“Yes, sir.” His gaze fell, and it took effort to get it back up again. “I know, it’s kind of old-fashioned and everything, but well, it would mean a lot to me if I had your blessing to go out with your daughter.”

The smile that came to her father’s face was like the sun coming out after a rainstorm. A second and he put out his hand. “Absolutely you have my blessing.”

Derek had just breathed that down when there was movement behind him.

“Well, there you are,” Mrs. Lawrence said, coming in and eyeing the two of them. Then she glanced down at the rowboat. “What are you doing with this old thing? I haven’t seen this in a hundred years.” When she made it to her husband, he put his arm around her and kissed her forehead. “Derek and Jaycee are going out to the lake for the day.”

“Oh, really?” she asked, a hopeful smile coming to her face. “I’m sure Jaycee will love that.”

The smile came from the center of Derek. “I sure hope so.”

Nerves. Jaycee hadn’t really expected them, but they had shown up in force around 8:30 when she had made it all the way through the house and never found him. When she found her sister in the kitchen instead, she made sure to not sound too anxious as she got out the cereal and asked if the guys were around.

Luke and the boys had gotten up early to go into town for the first community meal since the hurricane. Maybe they should have done that, Jaycee thought as she poured her cereal. Then, she realized maybe they would be. Her heart slipped like a rock on water, but then she decided it didn’t really matter what they did or where they went, what mattered was that she would be able to be with him. “Oh, did Derek go with them?” she asked, crunching on her corn flakes.

Holding Macy at the other cabinet, Sage turned and scrunched her face. “I… don’t think so. Aren’t you…? I mean, I thought…”

Jaycee shrugged, knowing she was putting her sister in an awkward position. “He just didn’t tell me what we’re doing today. I thought maybe he was up town with them.”

The smile that slipped onto her sister’s face spoke nothing of practical or normal. “I don’t think so.”

As he drove back to the Bakers’, Derek went through the plan in his heart again. It wasn’t difficult, but he wanted every detail to be perfect. Running his hand over the dusting of whiskers on his face, he had to force the breath from his lungs. Life had never felt anything like this.

In a fitted white T-shirt, jeans and a red flannel shirt tied at her waist, Jaycee looked in the mirror as she readjusted the ponytail. He’d said hanging out comfortable. She only hoped this was what he had in mind.

At that moment the doorbell rang, and Jaycee puzzled at that. The doorbell? People didn’t ring the doorbell in these parts unless it was a delivery, which didn’t happen very often. Worry for her sister being all the way out here by herself with two small children bounced into Jaycee, and with one more glance, she decided this was as good as it got.

Grabbing her sneakers, she headed out to make sure everything was okay.

As she rounded the corner into the living room, she heard the voices and concern snaked through her.

“I’ll just go see if she’s ready,” Sage said, turning just as Jaycee came in the room.

“I’m…” Here. She was supposed to say here, but somehow that word got completely lost in the scene she found herself standing in. Without realizing she’d stopped moving, she jerked to a halt as her eyes went wide.

There, in the middle of her sister’s living room, stood a very shy-looking, incredibly handsome Derek West. A second and her eyes went even wider. “Derek. I… What?”

His smile held no amount of confidence as he picked up his hand to her. “I tried not to be too early.”

Her gaze slid from his down to his hand and snagged there. A single yellow rose hovered between them.

“I hope you like yellow. The shop was all out of red because of Greely’s Homecoming, so it was either this or daisies. I didn’t know, so I took a chance.”

Emotions ricocheted around inside of her until she couldn’t catch a single one. If he’d have given her a cactus, it would have been more than she’d ever been given in the past, but a single perfect yellow rose? That was in a whole other league. “It’s… great. It’s beautiful.” Stepping closer, she took the rose, held it, and then lifted it to her, breathing in the soft, perfume-like scent. “It’s amazing. Thank you.”

He smiled as if he was relieved. “Well, that one’s for today, and these…” Taking his hand from behind his back, he held out an entire bouquet of yellow. “… are hoping we have many more.”

“Awww,” Sage exhaled, standing just to the side, rocking Macy side-to-side.

“Oh.” Jaycee could hardly comprehend it all. She glanced back at her sister, knowing she was going to get an I-told-you-so at some point. “Derek. You didn’t have to do that.”

His smile turned into a grin. “I wanted to. I hope you like them.”

“Like them? I love them. Thank you.” She took the bouquet and buried her nose in them. The deep breath and intoxicating scent made her head swim. A second and she giggled softly. “I’ve never gotten real flowers. Not like… real ones. Um, I guess I should put them in water or something?”

“I have just the vase,” Sage said, and she headed for the kitchen.

“Are they really okay? I hope they’re all right. I really wanted red. I mean, I know that’s your favorite color and all, so I wasn’t sure about the whole yellow thing,” Derek asked, ducking closer to Jaycee so Sage wouldn’t hear, and she smiled both at his worry and because he had actually thought to do something so special.

“They’re amazing, Derek. Really. Just like the guy who gave them to me.” Then because she wanted him to have no questions about her appreciation of the flowers or the romantic gesture, she stepped over to him and tiptoed, dragging his lips down to hers.

She had thought the kiss would be a simple peck but found the vulnerability weaving through even his kiss as intoxicating as the roses. Falling into the feel of him kissing her, she let go of practical for one long moment and just let herself get lost in his kiss.

“This is…” Sage said, coming into the room, and just like that Derek and Jaycee let go of each other, which felt akin to falling off the Empire State Building. Sage’s cheeks flushed to a pink rose color as she went both forward and backward at the same time. “Oh! Um. I’m sorry… I’ll just be…”

Jaycee laughed as she put her arm under his and around his waist so he wouldn’t run. “Timing, big sis. We’re really going to have to work on your timing.” Tightening her grip on him because she was so incredibly happy and because she could, Jaycee pulled him into the kitchen with her, following Sage. There, she took the glass vase Sage had and filled it with water.

“Oh. You should cut the ends off,” Sage said from her spot by the cabinet. “Luke always does that with mine. Here.” She turned and produced a shears. “He uses these.”

However, when Jaycee had the scissors in her hand with the flowers in the other, it was like she had developed five thumbs. “Um, how…?”

“Here,” Derek said, taking the bouquet from her and laying it on the cabinet. “I think you’re supposed to put them under the water while you cut them.” With only that, he took the shears from her and flipped on the faucet.

The truth was, Jaycee was more than content to simply stand there and watch him cut and arrange the flowers. The end result was as amazing as when he’d first given them to her.

“There we go,” he said, producing the vase. “A dozen roses fit for a queen.”

“Too bad they’re for me.” Jaycee reached out and took the vase. “I guess the queen’s just going to have to find her own.”

It took another few minutes to get out of the house, and Jaycee was surprised when he went not out the back of the house but to the front.

“We’ll be back later,” he called to Sage as he led Jaycee through the living room, his hand twined into hers.

“Bring her back in one piece,” Sage called from the kitchen.

“Will do.” Never letting her hand go, Derek pushed out of the door and held it for her. When it banged closed behind them, she slipped even closer to him as her other hand came up to latch onto his arm.

“So,” she said, now beyond anxious to know what he had planned for the day, “where are we…?” But the question and excitement slipped into oblivion and disappeared as they rounded the corner of the porch. There in the streaming sunlight, sitting smack-dab in the middle of the driveway, stood his black pickup attached to a small trailer upon which sat the wooden rowboat she had thought she would never see again in this lifetime. “Wh…?” Her mouth dropped open, and her feet forgot how to walk. “Wh…?” she started again. Then she looked up at him, stunned. “Are you serious? But how?”

He shrugged. “I made a couple of phone calls, called in a few favors. What do you think?”

“It’s…. it’s Dad’s, right? It’s the one we used when we were little.” Going over to it, she ran her hand across the bow, mesmerized by the memories this simple piece of her history dredged up. “But how did you…?”

Derek came up behind her and put his hand on her back, rubbing there so gently she could get lost in that motion. “Well, you said you wanted to go to the lake, so...”

With only that, she turned to him, her gaze getting lost in the sunlight streaming in from behind him. “You… I…. I don’t believe you did this. I’m… This is…”

He grinned down at her. “I’m glad you like it. In fact, that’s exactly the reaction I was going for.” Reaching down between them again to reengage the connection of their hands, he yanked his head back toward the truck. “Come on. Let’s get to the lake.”

Of course Jaycee had seen this before, couples sitting not on opposite sides of a pickup but right next to each other. The thing was she had never really done it, save for one night in high school with Rory Harris that she would really much rather forget.

Out of the driveway and to the highway Derek drove, her hardly believing this could even be happening. Then, when they got to the highway, he adjusted the radio and the air before slipping his arm over the seat and around her shoulders. The crazy thing was how easy it was to be right there next to him. Somehow she never expected that. Somehow, she had always thought doing this would be awkward or intimidating. It was neither. In fact, it was very much like laying her head in his hands in perfect trust that he would never hurt her.

Relinquishing her hold on life, she laid her head over onto his shoulder and closed her eyes. She felt his gaze come down to her, and he tightened his hold around her. Yes, she could get very used to this.

When they made it to the lake, Jaycee and the GPS got them to the side that was public, and Derek backed up into a spot on the little beach. Because it was September with just a hint of overcast clouds, there weren’t many people ringing the lake today. In fact, they would pretty much have it all to themselves from the looks of things.

“So what’s the plan, Captain?” Jaycee asked, sliding out as he took her hand and helped her down.

“Don’t really know to be honest.” He laughed as his arm came around her again. She slipped into his embrace which enfolded her with no effort or awkwardness, and instead of going to do something, they simply stood there like that just enjoying being in each other’s presence. “I brought lunch, but it’s a little too early for that,” he said, never so much as moving. “We could take the boat out, or we could go for a walk, or… we could just stand here and do nothing.”

“Hmm.” Once again getting lost in just being with him, she closed her eyes and put her head on his chest. “I vote D.”

“I’m with you.”

As he stood there wrapped around her, it was amazing to feel him relax and let go of the race to get to the next job, the next task, the next life issue. She wondered then if either of them had stopped like this in over a year. Rushing, running, thinking ahead and even beyond that. Slowing down had never been an option much less a priority. As she stood there, enfolded in the warmth of him, the gentle breeze mixing together with the sensation in utter perfection, she had the thought that if that moment overtook every other one, she would have been perfectly happy about it.

“It’s so beautiful out here,” Derek said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Peaceful.”

“Hm,” she said, soaking it all in. “I used to love it out here.” Her eyes came open then, and her spirit released from the bonds of the earth and flew out over the gently lapping waves. “We used to go across the lake to fish. There’s a spot over there that’s really good. Dad and Ryder and I would stay out there for hours.”

“What about your mom?”

“Mom was never big on water. It scared her, so we’d go and come back for lunch and then go back out and come back when it was getting dark.” Her spirit dove headlong into the memories. “I always felt so safe out there, like nothing bad could happen to us.” She sniffed softly, not realizing the emotions the memories would dislodge in her heart. “This was where we could just be at peace together, no fighting, no turmoil. I loved it out here.”

“You’ve got a great family.”

She smiled. “They have their moments.” Her shrug barely lifted her shoulders. “I guess I never really realized how much the fights bothered me. I just figured everybody’s parents fought, that mine were probably no different. Or maybe I didn’t, I don’t know. It seemed like it was always something. When I was little, it was the phantom California thing. When I got older, it was Sage.” The thought slipped into her mind and clung there like a fly in a cobweb. She’d never admitted it, not even to herself, but it was true. “And then it was me.”

Derek angled his gaze from the lake down to her. “You? What do you mean?”

Jaycee wasn’t sure she could put it into words or that it would even make sense. “After my injury, they fought all the time. Dad thought I should try to make a comeback, that I was giving up for no reason. Mom thought he was being too hard on me, and that even trying to come back was an absolutely horrible idea. I don’t know… I couldn’t do what either of them wanted. I wanted to come back, but my knee was just too bad, and I wanted to give up, but I loved playing so much. Eventually…”

Holding her, he didn’t move, just let her think it out and through.

“Eventually, I let both of them down I guess. I gave up on Dad’s dream, but I never really quit loving basketball or wishing I could somehow go back.”

He tightened his embrace around her. “So how’d you decide Indiana? Indiana, right?”

She laughed. “Right. Indiana. Well, Luke had a big hand in that. Sage was off at college, and so he kept coming over like all the time. After work, most nights he’d be there to take me out to get a hamburger or to play cards or something. I knew what he was doing, but when Luke gets something in his head, believe me, you aren’t changing it. Finally, one day he sat me down and drew a line in the sand. I couldn’t stay with my parents the rest of my life feeling sorry for myself, and he asked me what I wanted to do with my life. To get him to quit asking, I said I didn’t know, maybe I’d just go to Indiana and be done with it.

“Stupid guy. I should’ve known not to be so literal with him. The next day he showed up with an application to Indiana State, and by the time I had humored him into believing I might be serious, I was actually accepted.” She shrugged. “I don’t know, it seemed simpler to move and do it than not, so I did.”

“And television?” he asked.

“It was the least worst option. I had a friend who that’s what her major was, so I decided why not. When I got out, I applied at about fifty places. Starr was the first one to get back to me with a hope for an interview, and now, somehow, here I am.”

Moving back away from her, Derek’s gaze swept over hers as she looked up at him. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

Jaycee lifted both eyebrows as if he’d lost his mind. “How do you figure?”

“Nobody just falls into this line of work. Most people think they have to kill their great-aunt to make it, but you… it’s like this was a fallback except that wasn’t even planned, and yet, you are better at it than every other one I’ve ever worked with.”

Funny, they had never really talked about the time on the job before she’d arrived. Somehow, she’d always thought they had no one to compare her to other than perfection which she missed at every turn. “What do you mean?”

His gaze slipped up one way across the landscape and then down the other, and gently he turned her before catching her under his arm. With no more than that, they started walking. “At first when I started, there was no assistant. It was just me, and let me tell you, that was a scary thing. I got lost going to places, and half the time Brent was having outright conniptions about where I was and what I was doing. The first person they hired was… um, how do I put this nicely? A slave driver. We were booked so solid, I hardly ever took a breath. And then, one day she got mad because we didn’t get a job finished as fast as she wanted us to, and I told her off right there in front of the crews. Yeah, I never saw her again after I talked to Brent about it.

“The next one didn’t last two jobs she got so overwhelmed with it all. The next one was a young guy who thought people who swung hammers were beneath him. What did he tell me? ‘Dust on his feet?’ It was something like that.” Derek seemed to trip over something in his mind. “You know how Katie is?”

Jaycee knew very well. “Yeah?”

“Like that.”

Just how or why the name Katie stuck in her throat and refused to move, she didn’t know, but it did. Reaching up, she put her hand on his that was around her. “Okay. This is going to sound strange, but I really thought you and Katie would probably make a go of it.”

His steps hesitated. “Me and Katie? Seriously?”

Deciding she might as well be totally honest, Jaycee swung her steps next to him. “Yeah, back in Fairmount, when y’all went out that time.”

He narrowed his gaze. “Out? We never went out.”

Heat and humiliation slithered down over her. Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything. “Yeah, you did. To The Wild Turkey, that night we had the big fight at the bed and breakfast.” Jaycee shrugged. “I saw you guys together, and I thought…”

Derek was having a really hard time recalling all the pieces in the order she seemed to come up with them so easily. “You thought what? We didn’t go out. I mean, we went out to eat, yeah, but not like out though. Are you kidding me? Katie would pitch me overboard in a heartbeat.”

“No, she wouldn’t. She loves the limelight.”

His steps continued as did his thoughts, though his words were a different story. He knew he had to tell her then, had to say it, but how? The words jammed and jumbled up in his heart and throat until he couldn’t so much as hear them all.

Her gaze slid up to his, and worry crossed her soft face. “What? What’s wrong?”

He looked down at her, knowing one way or the other life would never be the same again. “Katie and I would never have worked. She was too much like Jenn.”

Puzzlement settled over her face. “Jenn? Who’s Jenn? One of your illustrious first assistants?”

The day beyond snagged his gaze and dragged it away from her. Step. Step. Step. He walked as he sorted through it all in his heart one last time. “No. Jenn was my first wife.”

How she ever managed to not trip completely, Jaycee would never know. Somehow, her feet kept her upright as her spirit crashed into the word, broke up and disintegrated. “Your first… what?”

Derek stopped both of them then, let out a breath, and closed his eyes. A second and then letting her go, his hands went to his beltline as he faced her. “Yeah. I know, you never knew about that. Truth is, I don’t tell many people about it.”

That did nothing to calm the splitting of her soul. She crossed her arms, but it was too late. “Wait. You… were married?”

He nodded as pain and fear sliced across his face. “I was. It was a long time ago. Not that that matters, but it was. I was only about 20 at the time. We got together, fell hard, got married and then fell just as hard out of love as we did in.” His gaze slipped up to hers, full of apology and pleading with her not to trash him right there. “The truth is, neither of us really even knew what love was.” He closed his eyes because he couldn’t face her judgment. “She was hot, and marriage really didn’t mean that much to me, so we just did it, you know? I know that sounds horrible, and it is, but it’s also the truth.”

When he opened his eyes, Derek knew that the decision to tell her had just trashed this relationship as well. He could see the depths of the disappointment in her eyes without so much as trying. “I’m not proud of that time in my life, and honestly, I’d pretty much taken myself out of that game for good. Marriage and all of that stuff…” He shrugged as he crossed his arms. “It wasn’t for me. I wasn’t cut out to be a one-woman kind of a guy, and I was okay with that.”

Crushed. It was the only word to describe Jaycee’s face as tears threatened but were overtaken in a breath by anger.

“Look, Jayc, I know what you’re thinking.” He put both hands up to stop the tongue-lashing he was about to get. “Please, just hear me out. Okay? And then if you want to leave…” Wow, he’d never realized how hard these words would be to say. He breathed them down, licked his parched lips, and fought to explain to himself that he had to say them. Finally, over the objections of his heart, he forced them out as if at gunpoint. “If you want to leave, I won’t blame you, and I won’t stop you.” No, his spirit screamed. How can you even say that? Don’t give her the option of leaving, she might take it! Are you crazy?

A second and her gaze slipped down to her toe which was making circles on the ground. Hardness came over her whole being, and after another second, she looked up at him but made no effort to hide the anger. “Okay,” she squeaked out. “I’m listening.”

At least she was listening, that was something. But Derek then realized he had no idea what to say. How could he explain to her what he now saw in her and because of her? Words had never been his forte, and now they were all he had. “I…” His gaze swept out to the lake beyond just before he closed his eyes against the pain scratching through him. He let out a long breath and slid his hand through the side of his hair. “Look, I know, what you think about me, what you’ve thought about me, and I don’t blame you for that because most of it was true, and it has been for a long time. Probably for as long as I can remember.

“When I was young, going out wasn’t about it leading anywhere. It was about how much could I get and get away with. That’s what I grew up with.” His spirit slipped into the muck he had grown up in. “My dad was a lot like me, I guess. He didn’t really have his feet on the ground especially with the whole love and marriage thing. When I was about eight, Mom had had enough and she threw him out. I helped her. We carried his stuff out of the house and set it on the curb. I seriously thought he was going to kill us that night. Her or me, or both of us. Why he even cared, I don’t know because he was never around otherwise. When he was, he was drunk and they were fighting. When the divorce became final, he was furious at Mom and wouldn’t just give her sole custody of me, so I’d have to go over there because that’s what they said I had to do.”

Her gaze had softened somewhat, but Derek really couldn’t look at her. After this, she would surely have no use for him at all. “Dad had these women around, all the time.” Derek shook his head and closed his eyes. “He was like me I guess, he could talk people into anything, and most of them, they didn’t care. He was someone to be with, somewhere to sleep, and that’s about it.”

“What about your mom?”

“Mom remarried when I was 12. Ryley was my stepdad’s kid.”

“Ryley… is your half-sister?”

He shrugged. “Something like that. But by then I was about the angriest kid you could find. I probably would’ve been trouble anyway, but my life was so messed up, I don’t think any of them knew what to do with me. So, one summer mostly to get me out of their hair, they sent me upstate to help my uncle out.”

“With construction,” she said, filling in that piece. “The one who got you the job with the television.”

“Yeah.” He shook his head and sighed hard. “I loved the work, and I was good at it. Demo was awesome. I could take a hammer and just kill stuff, get things out. By the end of that summer, I knew what I wanted to do, so I talked Mom into letting me stay upstate, and that’s pretty much how things got started.”

Standing there, listening to a story she never would have guessed, Jaycee had a short conversation with herself because she now knew what came next. Could she listen? Could she give him the space in her heart he needed to be honest with her? If she had known before this very moment, she would have fought tooth-and-nail not to let him ever get close, but she was here now, and she did know. Could she find a way to let herself love him anyway? “And what about Jenn?” she finally asked. “You married her?”

Derek let out a breath that would have taken out a small neighborhood for the hardness of it. “The work was great, but I was a messed up, angry, unhappy person. The only thing I really wanted was to find the next party, and I did. I worked all day and partied all night.” He shook his head. “I just wanted to not hurt, and when I was still for five seconds, that’s all I did was hurt.

“I met her one night at some club, and I don’t even really know why we stuck except she loved the fact that I was on television. I mean, it was a low-rent TV news show that probably five people ever even watched, but to her that meant something. I was glamorous or something.” He laughed bitterly. “And she was impressed. I loved that she was impressed, and so when she was around, I let her be. Then one night, she said, ‘Let’s do it. Let’s get married.’” He shrugged. “I thought, ‘Why not? What’s the worst thing that could happen?’” Shaking his head, he let his gaze fall between them. “I had no idea what the worst thing that could happen really was.”

The strangest thing was how calm she felt. Somehow that’s not at all what Jaycee had expected she would feel if ever faced with hearing something like this. “How bad did it get?”

He half-shook his head until it stopped and froze on the upswing. “We were pretty horrible to each other. She thought the TV thing meant I was her one-way ticket to everything she’d ever wanted, the more she bought, the more we fought.” Picking his hands up, he wrapped them into his arms. “I’m sure she was cheating on me though I could never really prove it.”

“And you?” Jaycee asked.

Derek glanced at her and then away, and she knew. “I wish I could say I wasn’t, that I didn’t, but it was all so messed up. It was like find the thing that will hurt her the most and do it. Find the thing that will hurt her the most and say it. She was horrible to me, and I was horrible to her. It didn’t matter who started it or why. By the end, it was just an all-out battle to see who could tear the other one down first. When she finally left, that was the best day of my whole entire life, and the best thing was, I didn’t even have to throw her stuff out. She came and got it herself and just disappeared.”

Letting out a breath because she didn’t have a clue where that left them, Jaycee sat down right there on the cold, rocky sand and just looked out onto the waves. The peaceful sound drew her back and away from his story into herself where she found all of her own memories right there waiting for her. “They were like that,” she said softly, and she felt him look down at her and then move to sit near but not next to her.

“Your folks?”

She nodded. “Mom would say she wished they never got married, and Dad would say he wished he had never come back.” A second and she looked over at him. “That’s why, isn’t it?”

Puzzled, he wrinkled his forehead. “Why what?”

Her shrug dragged her gaze down to her crossed ankles. “Why you were never with anyone. Why you never brought them back. Why they never stayed.”

“Everybody thinks marriage is it, you know? Just get married and you’ll be happy forever,” he said as he leaned back on his hands. “Millions of gallons of ink have been used to write about how amazing love is.” Coming up, he brushed his hands off. “But it was never all that amazing for me.” He leaned down and brushed his face with the sleeve of his shirt. “It was hell if you want to know the real truth, and I never, ever wanted to ever go through that again.” With a shrug, he sat back. “So if I went out, I found the one who would be the easiest to let go of and I went with her. Most of the time, we didn’t even make it back to a hotel room. We’d have a few drinks, kill a few hours, and then I’d say I had to get back. They’d always wish I could stay, but I knew what staying meant. And I’d go back to the hotel and fall in bed so tired I didn’t have a chance to really think about any of it.”

He let out a long breath and looked out to the waves. “You must think I’m a terrible human being.” His gaze slid over to her. “Not that you didn’t know that already.”

Jaycee thought that through three times. “You know, I always wondered why my dad did it. Why he left. Why he came back. Why he stayed. I never really thought of him like that, like… not as my dad, but like a guy who was confused and hurting and just trying to make things work, trying to find a way not be hurting all the time. He was my dad, and he was supposed to know what to do and how to do it. Now I guess I’m seeing, he was a guy, and they had problems and issues just like all of us do.” She shrugged. “Not that it makes it any better, what happened, but I’m starting to understand it in a different way.”

“That’s why you,” Derek started, and she looked over at him, their gazes latching together, and he didn’t look away, “it’s why you didn’t go out, why you stayed at the hotels all the time, working.”

A second and she nodded slowly before letting her gaze fall. “Work was safe. Getting lost in the details of where we had to be when, that was way easier than dealing with feelings and home.” She looked out onto the waves again, seeing no real reason to keep anything locked up inside any longer. “Want to know something weird?”

“What’s that?”

One glance and she lifted her shoulder. “I never really cried about it. Through any of it. Sage, Mom and Dad, my knee. I would get so angry, I wanted to punch something, to scream at the world. I’d go play basketball for hours just to have some way to get the anger to leave. I would see other girls crying over guys, and that was so stupid to me. I told myself they were just weak, that I would never be like that, that no guy would ever hurt me like that.” She looked over at him and jutted out her chin. “And I’m still like that. Feelings scare me. I mean, deep down, super, all the way to the core deep, I don’t want to feel, to let go, to fall in love and then fall apart because I’ve seen what it does to people. That’s why with you… with this whole thing…”

Her gaze slipped from his all the way back out to the waves. “I knew I wasn’t good enough for you, that you didn’t see me like that.” Closing her eyes on that admission, she sighed. “That was easy because I knew how to do that, how to be that to you, but this… I keep thinking it’s not real, that sooner or later…”

He moved then after a second. He shifted, came up to his knees and then down next to her. Taking her into his arms, he held her there.

“I don’t think love is supposed to feel like this,” she finally said softly. “I don’t think you’re supposed to be this scared. I mean, I want it, like when you came in with the roses today, that’s the way I always imagined it, and then I think I’ve got to be crazy because what makes this any different than what happened to them, what happened to you? Why would we be any different?”

“But we are,” he said, his voice a feather on the gentle breeze. “Don’t you see that? It’s like Caleb said the other day, or was it Luke? I don’t even remember. It was one of them… we’ve been married for the last year without the benefit of the paperwork. I don’t think either of us even realized it. I know I sure didn’t.”

She moved from this arms to look up at him. “But we’re not… we’re not married. It wasn’t like that.”

“It wasn’t?” His gaze dug into hers. “Jayc, we spent nearly every waking hour together. I trusted you not just with my life but with my career, with myself. I’ve never done that before, with anybody. I always thought being with someone was so hard, and yet I was there with you all that time and I never even thought about it being hard.”

“But that’s my job.”

“It was the other people’s jobs too, and trust me, being with them never felt like being with you did.” He moved a millimeter. “You know when we were doing the exercises, how at first you fought trusting me like that?”

“Yeah?”

“But eventually, you stopped fighting it and just let me do what needed to be done.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, that’s how it was with you with the job. At first I just knew something was going to go wrong.” He laughed. “And if I remember right, plenty did go wrong. Busted pipes, wrong orders, frantically trying to finish up way after midnight, rushing to get to the next plane and the next house, getting lost a time or five.”

She laughed as if in pain. “I know, and I felt bad about every single one of those.”

“That’s just it. All this stuff went wrong, but you never, ever gave up. You never got out of my boat. You never jumped ship and said, ‘To heck with this. I’m out of here.’”

“Are you kidding? I was just waiting for you to fire me.”

“And I just knew one of those times you were going to quit and leave me there to clean up the mess. But you never did, and then I started to notice how much you were sacrificing, for the show yes, but for me too. I mean, I know in Gary, that wasn’t about the job, that was about not letting me down and practically killing yourself to do it.”

She shrugged. “I didn’t want you to think…”

“I didn’t, but I didn’t think about it either. I didn’t see how much you cared. That was just kind of a given. I didn’t see how much you were giving. I thought that was your job.”

“It was.”

“Except that it wasn’t.” He shook his head as he reached over and took her hand. “Don’t you see, Jayc? You’ve had my back night and day, 24-7, and until I really started paying attention, I thought, like you did, that that was just about the job. But it wasn’t.” Then, as he looked at her, he decided to go for broke. “Can you honestly tell me that you didn’t care about me like that at least once in the last year?”

One breath and her gaze fell. She shook her head slowly. “I didn’t want to.”

“I know. But you did, didn’t you?”

Lifting her gaze to his took courage. He could see the battle in her eyes.

“Of course I did. You’re an amazing guy, Derek. You are. I’m not going to lie about that. Any girl in her right mind would be falling all over herself to be with you.”

It felt like the question of a lifetime. “Does that include you?”

“I…” She let out a breath, and the fight left. “Yeah. That includes me.”

“So that night, the one on the couch at Luke and Sage’s. That wasn’t my imagination, was it?” he asked softly.

A heartbeat and she shook her head. “No. I just…” This breath was longer. “I thought I was dreaming. I didn’t think it was real. And then, when I realized it was, I thought…”

“That you were the new flavor of the month.”

“Or the moment,” she said, being brutally honest. “Face it, you’re Derek West. Why would you ever want to be with me?”

Finally his heart landed on the rock-solid truth. “Because I’m so in love with you I can’t see straight? Because I want to be the guy who brings home wine and roses for you just because you want me to? Because if I had looked my whole life and even if I had believed this was even possible, I never could have imagined feeling what I feel when I look into your eyes. Because you freaked me out completely when I thought you were sick. Because I spend all day long thinking about you and all night long dreaming about you.”

She laughed as her gaze fell. “Stop. You’re embarrassing me.”

“Because I love how your cheeks tint pink when you’re embarrassed.” Moving closer, his finger brushed her cheek, sending tingles down her spine. “Because you always have my back and always know what I need even when I don’t. Because every single second we spend together feels like breathing.” He was right there now, so close they were sharing the same air.

When she looked into his eyes, she found his gaze waiting to hold hers.

“Do you want me to go on?” he asked, his eyes so gentle they gave her spirit a soft place to rest. “Because I will if you want me to.”

“You’re crazy,” she whispered.

“Yeah, about you.” Bending slowly, he took her into his arms as his lips covered hers, caressing and gentle. She surrendered to his strength and into the solid belief that he would never let her fall. “I love you so much,” he whispered as the kisses pitched and arced with the electricity sparking between them. His mouth fell to her neck and caressed there. “You have no idea what this is like, wanting you like this.”

She wanted him too in ways she never thought possible; however, someone in the situation had to keep their wits about them, and that clearly wasn’t him at the moment. Not pushing exactly but also knowing this was a bad idea to continue, she arched backward. “Derek? Uh…”

Panting and gasping, he pulled up from her, his eyes wild. “I know.” He shook his head hard and closed his eyes. The breath was somewhere between a gasp and a laugh just before his eyes came open again, lit with mischievousness. “You make me crazy, woman.”

Mischievousness shot through her. “Short trip, huh?” She grinned at him, and he growled.

“What did I ever do to deserve this?”

Gently pulling his lips back to hers, she smiled. “Good question.”

Hours later as they lay in the rowboat on the glass of the lake watching the sunset fade to sapphire and then to velvet, Jaycee couldn’t help but think she had never known the lights going out in the universe could be so peaceful. There was no fear, no dread, no worry, only the tranquility of being in his arms surrounded by the utter safety of his presence.

“So how is this going to work?” she asked, really needing to know although she knew he didn’t.

He moved under her only a bit. “Well, it’s been working pretty good so far, don’t you think?”

Rolling to her side, she anchored her chin on her hand on his chest so she could look at him. “Yeah, but don’t you think working together and being like this will be… I don’t know… awkward?”

“Awkward? You mean like this?” Twining his fingers up into her hair, he pulled her lips down to his, and as much as she fought to be logical, logic was the last thing she could hold on to when his lips touched hers and held like that. “Or like this?” Gently, carefully, he slid her backward before covering her lips with his once again. The boat rocked beneath them, the movement making small waves lap up against the sides.

Jaycee was going to argue, to reason with him, but with each kiss, reason scattered until there wasn’t a logical thought left in her mind. “I’m… that is so not fair.”

“Who’s trying to be fair?” His gaze slid over her, lying there, completely surrendered and peaceful. “You are so beautiful.”

Had she seen it coming, she would have braced for it. As it was, the words brushed her heart so tenderly, her defenses never had a chance to come up.

His strong but gentle hand slid across her temple, taking every care and worry with it. Her breath snagged on his touch and the emotions that skipped and danced across the panorama of her being, and she turned to his touch lest he consider removing it. Thinking was betraying her. She fought not to let it leave, but each thought became less real and more fragmented as his hand slipped down from her temple, cradling her in its strength.

“Derek,…” she breathed as a gasp surged through her at his touch.

“Shh,” he said softly, and then he laid his mouth next to her ear. “Let go. You’re safe with me. I promise.”

A breath and another. And she felt the tears slide across her heart and into her eyes though she had no accounting for them. Panic at the helplessness they brought with them came up too. “Derek?”

“Shh. It’s okay, Jayc. I’ve got you. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.” Pulling her to him, he wrapped her in his embrace and held her there.

She latched onto him as the first tear slid from the corner of her eye. Gasping, she blinked it back, not sure what was happening or why. When she opened her eyes, she found herself being held as the world rocked around them. “I… You… I’m…”

“I know. I know,” he said as he gathered her closer to him and held her there. “It’s okay. I promise.”

When she closed her eyes, she felt all the way through her that he really did know and it really was okay to just let go and trust that he would take care of the world.

“I love you,” she whispered unable to hold back the feeling, the words or the tears as she clung to him.

He backed up, his gaze as soft as it had ever been, a gentle smile dancing on his face. “Not anywhere near as much as I love you.” And then his lips drifted down to hers and all of the rest of the world just floated away.

Chapter 27

Caught in the magic of his presence, Jaycee could hardly believe how mesmerized she had become so quickly. As he rowed back to the shore, she watched him, trying to get reality and whatever this was snapped together.

“What?” he asked with a dip to his brow when he looked at her.

She laughed because she couldn’t help herself. “I feel like Rapunzel.” Looking up at the stars dotting the sky, she let the awe sound in her voice. “I keep waiting for the lanterns to appear in the sky.”

“Lanterns?” he asked with concern. “Now you want lanterns?”

Her laugh was both happy and embarrassed. “You’ve created a monster.”

“Yes, but a very cute one,” he said, and this time he leaned far enough forward to plant a kiss somewhere between her lips and her cheek.

Not wanting to ever leave, she shook her head. “It’s so peaceful out here. I think I could stay here forever.”

“Luke and Sage might send out the National Guard to find you.”

“It might be worth it.” She leaned on the boat’s side, just taking it all in.

“For you maybe. They’d throw me into Leavenworth and throw away the key.” He looked back over his shoulder toward the shore. “They love you, you know that?”

“I know.” And strangely, for the first time, she truly felt their love as well as his. Her spirit drifted into memory mode again. “I always wondered about what they had with each other. I mean it was like it was real, you know? Like tangible. When they looked at each other…” She shook her head and then noticed how he was smiling at her. “What?” Running her hand down her hair, she wondered why he was laughing.

Shaking his head once, his eyes lit with awe. “You. You’ve always been this clipboard carrying mad-woman. Who knew you had such a poetic soul in there?”

She tipped her head and smiled. “Maybe that’s what the lake does to me.”

“Then we’ll have to find more lakes.”

Safe. It was the word that kept coming up in her spirit as he helped her from the boat, as they got the thing loaded and cleaned up their picnic from earlier, as they climbed into the pickup for the ride home. How could she feel so safe with someone, anyone, and maybe especially with him?

With her head on his shoulder once again as they drove home, she looked up at him. “Tell me this is real. Tell me I’m not going to wake up and find out this was all just a really nice dream.”

He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. “Are you worried about that?”

“A little.”

Nodding, he turned onto the main highway and headed back to reality. “Have you ever played poker?”

The question dragged her gaze up to his in confusion. “Uh, no, not really. Why?”

He shrugged. “It’s just something Pastor Steve and I’ve been talking about. How falling in love is a lot like poker.”

“Wow.” Her eyebrows went up in more confusion. “You must be a really bad influence on people.”

His gaze brushed hers. “Ha. Ha.” He looked back out into the night and settled his hand on the steering wheel. “No, he’s got this theory that you get a hand, another person who maybe you want to be with, and then you play the hand. You watch how it goes, you invest in the relationship, you play the hand to see how it plays out.”

Still not sure where this was going, Jaycee nodded. “Okay?”

Shifting down into a more relaxed position, he dragged in a long breath. “You know that I’ve never been one who was looking for this.”

She nodded, knowing that to the depths of her being. It was the one thing that kept pinging through her, telling her maybe this was just some trick of her imagination.

“But as I play this hand, with you, I’m beginning to see this is more real than anything I’ve ever done, and the crazy thing is, I’m not even all-in yet.”

Her eyebrows went higher. “All-in?”

“Yeah, it’s a poker thing meaning you put all of your money in the middle. If you win, you get everything. If you lose, you lose everything. Do-or-die. Winner take all.”

“And what if you lose?” she asked, truly worried about the answer.

However, when he looked down at her, there was more mischief than worry in his eyes. “Don’t worry. I ain’t losing this time.” His hand rubbed up and down her arm before he kissed the side of her head. “Trust me on that one.”

Back at the house, they unhooked the boat so the pickup would be ready for church the next morning. Taking her hand, Derek led her to the back door. It was late, nearly two in the morning, and he knew as much as he didn’t want it to, this was where the date ended.

Instead of going into the house, he turned to her and put his arms around her. The feeling was so all-encompassing, he nearly gave in to it, but he knew better now. He knew she deserved all of him, not just one night because it was easier and he felt like it. No. They would be together, but it would be real and right and perfect. Until then, he would let her play the game, hoping and praying that at some point she would be ready to go all-in with him.

“You feel so good,” he said softly running his hands up and down her back as she leaned into his embrace.

“Hm.”

He was beginning to love that sound because it spoke of her trust in him and how surrendered she was in his presence. She wasn’t fighting. She wasn’t running. She just was with him and that was enough.

“So church tomorrow?” he asked, knowing the answer but wanting to confirm it.

Her hand rubbed up and down across his back, and Derek’s hold on right and proper began to slip. “Hmmm.”

A smile came to his lips. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Hmm.” The relaxing of her body next to his sent dangerous signals zipping through him.

Derek knew if they stayed there much longer, he would talk himself out of all of his best intentions. He tightened his embrace, wanting only to never let go. “Jayc?”

She seemed to come just a smidge more awake.

“Just so you know…”

“Yeah?”

When he didn’t continue, she pulled her head from his chest and looked up at him.

“What?” she asked, confusion and concern slipping over her features.

He had thought he could say it without the emotion, but gazing at her, he found that harder than he had realized it would be. “Just so you know, this is for real.” And then he dropped his lips to hers and sealed his intent so deeply she would never, ever have cause to question it.

Remnants of the previous day and evening clung to Jaycee the next morning when she awoke to a glorious new day. Somewhere in this house was the man she loved, and today they would be given another day together. Swiping the blankets from her legs, she stood, stretched, and smiled. Something told her she would be doing that a lot from now on.

Derek was up with the sun, through the shower, and into his church clothes. If anyone had told him six months ago that he would be excited about going to church, he never would have believed them. The navy button down with the small white pinstripes was the perfect complement to the black slacks. Looking good had never been an issue for him, yet somehow it had become intensely important over the last 48-hours.

He checked himself in the mirror and the grin of excitement couldn’t be held back. He couldn’t wait to see her. Two swipes of his fingers through his hair and he was ready. Out into the kitchen he went where he found Luke still in his pajama bottoms and white T-shirt at the table with a cup of coffee and Macy.

“Morning,” Derek said, and his voice sounded raspier than he had realized it would.

“Hey.” Luke turned from his attempts to get Macy to eat the watered down cereal. “So you did make it back.”

Derek readjusted the cuffs of his shirt. “We did.” He grabbed a cup from the cabinet and poured the coffee. “Did you guys have a good turn out yesterday?”

“We did. Everyone is thrilled with how the center turned out.”

“That’s great.” He turned to lean on the cabinet and took a sip just as Jaycee came through the opposite doorway. The fact that he would’ve had to change shirts had he actually spilled the coffee on himself hardly registered.

In a white turtleneck with cap sleeves and white flowing pants, she looked ready to wow the world. But at that moment the world would have to wait because she was rocking his.

He smiled but it took effort because she took his breath away. “Morning, Sunshine.”

Her smile was a million watts bright. “Morning.”

Somehow he thought she would keep their new relationship on the down-low. He thought wrong. Instead, she came right over to him, tip-toed once to kiss him, and ran her hand across his stomach on the way to the coffee. “Who made the coffee?”

“I did,” Luke said, pretending he wasn’t watching, which Derek could tell was taking all of his friend’s concentration.

“Then at least it won’t kill me.” She beamed a teasing smile up at Derek, got her coffee and turned to lean next to him on the cabinet. “How’d yesterday go?”

Luke’s gaze came over to them, saying far more than he ever said out loud. “Great.”

At church Derek’s heart skipped twice as he helped her from the pickup and walked with her across the parking lot. It was strange how much difference a few inches made. This week, shadowing her closely was the most natural thing in the world.

Once inside, they spoke with several people including Ms. P who oohed and aahed over them. Derek noticed how Jaycee just smiled and demurred at the attention. He smiled his own happiness which would have been hard to deny or hide. They promised to be at her house come Monday, and she graciously said she was looking forward to their arrival.

It wasn’t long and together they went into the church and found seats near the front with Sage and Luke and their family. Sitting next to Jaycee, Derek took the supreme risk of taking her hand in his, and when she smiled up at him, he had to catch his heart because it almost jumped away from him.

In no time Pastor Steve took to the pulpit, and Derek straightened, more ready than ever to hear what the good preacher had to tell him this morning. In fact, before the sermon even started, he breathed a prayer of thanks for this amazing mentor God had so graciously given him.

“One of the things that always amazes me,” Pastor Steve said, “is how the concepts of God fit so perfectly together. Studying God, His Word and His ways, is very much like looking at different facets of the same diamond. It is the same, but different. For example, grace and hope. On the surface the two do not appear to be the same, and yet when fully understood, one illuminates the other, and we see they are, in fact, two facets of the same thing.

“In fact, when viewed at the greatest depths of their meanings, we begin to realize that they are not just nice words, and that they are found not in definitions but rather in a person—the person of Jesus Christ. For example, our hope is found in Jesus Christ.” He held his hand out to the side of the pulpit. “Jesus literally is our hope. If we have hope apart from Jesus, we get into trouble very quickly. If our hope is in money, for instance, and the stock market falls or our finances are threatened, what happens to our hope? If our hope is in our health and it fails, what happens to our hope? If our hope is in an earthly relationship and it falters, what happens to our hope?

“But when our hope is found only in Jesus Christ, all these other things can fail, yet we do not lose our hope. The same with grace. God’s Grace is ultimately found in the person of Jesus. God’s Grace flows to us through Jesus Christ, and really, it can be no other way. As His grace flows to us and through us and begins to work in the world around us, it behooves us to understand that we are not the producers of that grace. When Jesus says, ‘I am the vine, you are the branches,’ understand that the branches do not produce the harvest. The branches merely hold the harvest that is produced from the vine. Jesus is the vine, He is God’s Grace, working in our lives. When we look to other things to produce a harvest in our lives, we are missing the fullness of God’s plan, which is to ever more fully abide in Him. Our focus, therefore, should always be on Jesus. We are privileged to get to witness His work in our lives.

“These last few weeks I’ve had cause to come to a deeper understanding of how Christ works in our lives. You see, I have this office at my home that looked to me to be perfectly fine. Okay, it wasn’t the newest room on the planet, but I had grown used to it, comfortable in it. Yes, it had a stain on the sheetrock in one corner, and yes, when it rained, that stain seemed to increase in size. But I wasn’t overly worried about it. And then, someone who knew what they were doing came in to inspect that stain. At first, I truly believed this would be a small job, pull a few pieces of sheetrock down, maybe replace some insulation; however, it didn’t turn out that way. The small stain that I could see turned out to not be so small of a problem.

“By the time we had adequately diagnosed the problem, it encompassed not just a little sheetrock in one corner of the room, but the roof, the ceiling, a wall and whole pieces of insulation as well. There was mold and rot to deal with, and once we started on one part, we couldn’t fix that part without disturbing just about every other part of the room. It wasn’t a patch job, it turned out to be a total gut-and-start-over job.

“I think that’s how Christ is with us. When John the Baptist used the word ‘repent,’ he wasn’t talking about a patch job. He looked at the stain of sin in our lives and he knew it went far deeper than we wanted to realize. God is asking us to rethink our whole life, not just a spot here and there. That’s why Jesus came—not to help us patch up our lives, but to give us a way to literally rip out the mold and the rot and start over. As St. Paul says, we have to die to ourselves to be able to have the life that Jesus gives us. Die to ourselves—a total gut-job.

“So today, I want to challenge you to take a real look at your life. Don’t just settle for patching up the things that are stained. Really give your life to the Builder, to Jesus. Let your hope be in Him. Rethink what God’s grace needs to do in your life. Don’t settle for a patch job because God has a whole new plan in mind.”

As Derek stood, he wondered if God wouldn’t just take a wrecking ball to his life. Everywhere he looked, there were stains. Focusing on the temporary—money, fame, pleasure. Stains of past relationships and sins both big and small. Standing next to her, he put his hands on the bench ahead of him as his head fell. The prayer seemed to flow from him with no real dam to stop it. “God, I get it. I really do. I need You, God. I need You to come and do this in me and through me. I need You to come and do this right. Yes, with Jaycee and for Jaycee, but for me, too, God. I need not just Your help to help me do it. I need You. I need You.”

He had always considered asking for help to be a sign of weakness, but if he had learned nothing else in the last week, it was that his weakness was not a threat to God. In fact, it was the point at which God’s work flowed most freely. And strangely, that was exactly what he felt at that moment—not defeated but more victorious than he had ever felt before. At that moment, he felt Jaycee’s hand slip over his, and when he turned his to accept hers, he knew without a doubt, this new room was going to be better than he had ever thought possible.

They went to her parents’ house for lunch and then back to Sage and Luke’s for a game of basketball with Andrew. Over and over throughout the day Derek saw her, the real Jaycee, the woman she was when she thought no one was looking. Yes, she was beautiful on the outside, but what stunned him the most was how beautiful she was on the inside. Kind, caring, loyal to a fault, she was the kind of person who one might think of as strong if they had never seen how fragile she really was.

Somehow that knowledge made him all the more intrigued by her. He watched as she helped with lunch, laughing and joking with both Sage and Luke. He watched as now in capri jeans and a soft, fitted top she put Andrew through his basketball paces. Later, he watched as she held Macy and played with Olivia. He watched and he began to understand why he had almost missed her completely, how he had gone a full year without realizing what she was doing to his heart, how she was changing him from someone who didn’t trust or rely on anyone to someone who took her so for granted he hadn’t realized he had.

By Monday when they headed to the job, she was back to old Jaycee, clipboard in hand, phone at her ear, making calls, setting up his life and smoothing out the road effortlessly. “Brent loves the footage we’ve gotten,” she said, marking something on her clipboard as they drove into town. “They’re talking about making this a whole week-long special series Hurricane Gabriel: Rebuilding After the Destruction. Something like that. They’ve contacted the magazine to see if they want to come and do a photo spread for an ad campaign for the special. If they don’t, H&H will be sending a photo crew of their own in the next couple of days…”

Suddenly she stopped because his awe collapsed over his fight to look as if he wasn’t falling ever deeper in love with her.

She snickered and lifted her glasses, which were back now, in concern. “What?”

Fighting not to laugh, he shook his head. “Just wondering how I ever got so lucky.”

Quickly she shook her head and ducked as she lifted the edge of her glasses. “Yeah, right.”

He reached over then and twined her hand in his. “Or maybe blessed is a better word.”

In everything as they worked throughout the day, Derek knew this was right, that she was right for him. However, there was one more question, one nagging thought he couldn’t get to let him loose. At three he left her with Alex and half his crew painting at the pastor’s so he could go over to the church to check on the progress of the roof. The damage to the roof hadn’t been as extensive as it had been to the other structures, but it was more than enough to warrant fixing it.

“How’s things?” Derek asked Johnson, the second foreman who filled in when Alex was working on something else.

“Good,” Johnson said, “we should be finished by tomorrow sometime with this. What’re we working on after that?

Derek put his hands on his beltline, not really liking that the work here in Ridgemount was beginning to wrap up. “Either finishing up at the pastor’s or Ms. P’s windows, but maybe working on the two story. I’ll have to see what will work the best. We won’t tackle the inside of the church just yet though.”

Johnson nodded as the pastor pulled up in the parking lot and got out. With one hand shake with the assistant foreman, Derek headed that direction. He shook the pastor’s hand as well.

“Looks like they’re making progress,” the pastor said, putting his hand up to his eyes to shield out the sun as he looked up at the church roof.

“That we are. Jaycee’s working on lining up the plaster company for the inside. As soon as we get that lined out, we’ll start the tear-out inside.”

The pastor nodded. “I just talked with Jaycee. She said she thinks all of this could be done by Friday. Amazing work. I have to tell you, Derek. Really. Jane is threatening to hire some of your guys out to do other things at our house, that office is turning out so well.”

Derek laughed. “Well, I’ve got a couple guys who might be interested. They’ve kind of fallen in love with the place.”

Looking over at him, the pastor narrowed his gaze. “Oh? Anyone I know?”

The smile was soft. “Would be nice, but…” He crossed his arms in front of him as that single nagging question nipped at his spirit. “I don’t think I’m the settle down in one place type though.” He unlaced his arms, dropping them to his sides as his gaze fell to his boots. So many doubts, so many fears, and they all chose that moment to attack him.

“You know,” the pastor said, “I have those color samples you gave me for the office in my office at the church. You want to get them now so we don’t forget?”

“Wh…?” Derek looked up and then realized he was being ridiculous. He had a job to do, and he wasn’t making any headway like this. “Oh, sure. Absolutely.”

“Well, Ms. Jaycee,” Ms. P said, meeting her at the door of her house, “I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow.”

“I know,” Jaycee said as she stood on the front step. She smiled as her gaze swung down to the little patch of flowers once again raising their heads to the sunshine at the edge of the step. “I just swung by to check to make sure all the supplies are here for when we get going on the windows tomorrow. Do you mind if I come in?”

“Mind? Honey-child, you are welcome here any time. Come on in.”

“Now where did I put those samples?” the pastor asked himself as he dug through yet another pile of papers in the church office that looked remarkably like the one at his home had. “They were here somewhere.”

Derek stood on the other side of the desk watching, noticing all of the books. The pastor had boxes of them at home. How could one person have so many of them? He laughed. “Looks like we could come work on this office too.”

The pastor looked up and then smiled. “Organization is not my strong suit.”

“Can’t be good at everything.”

“I’d be happy to be good at something.” The pastor turned and sighed. “What did I do with those things?” Bending down, he searched in the small cabinet to the left of the desk.

“So what is all of this stuff anyway?” Derek asked, actually becoming intrigued rather than annoyed with the mess. It somehow seemed… right rather than something that needed to be fixed.

“Research.”

“Oh? For what?”

“For when someone asks me how to put their life back together when it’s falling apart.” The pastor stood and put his hands on his hips as he looked around. “Seriously? I know that thing was right here. Maybe it’s in the closet.” He went to the tiny closet in the far corner and started digging.

“Does that happen a lot?” Derek asked, not really caring about the samples anymore, if he ever really had. There was something about the pastor, something about how real he was, something about how unpretentious he was. Yes, his office was practically falling down around him. Yes, he was disheveled and not at all put together. Maybe that’s what it was. Life wasn’t a show with him. There was no image, no showboating, just reality and being real. Derek liked that.

“Lot of people. Lot of stuff. Lot of hurt. Lot of mistakes. Lot of what-if’s and if-only’s. More than I ever realized there would be when I got into this that’s for sure.”

And thus they had reached the central question clinging to Derek’s heart. He wound his arms up in front of him and smirked because that didn’t make him feel nearly as vulnerable. “So do you really believe people can change? I mean, really change, not just for a few months or a moment or two but really, really change?”

The pastor came up out of the closet and had to resettle his hair which was now wild and swirling about his head. “Believe it? Oh, I more than believe it. I’ve seen it. In fact, people change every day. No person is the same today as they were yesterday.” He went back to the first cabinet. “Today we know different things than we knew yesterday. Today we’ve gained new experiences that we didn’t have yesterday. A woman becomes a mother. A man gets his first job or quits a previous one. And a million other little and big changes along the way. In fact, all of life is change. Life itself is about change and how we change and why we change.”

“Why do we change?”

“Lot of reasons. We get hurt and we close off. We fall in love and we open. We learn and we become, and when we look back, change has happened whether we knew it was happening at the time or not.”

“So do you think people can change other people because they want them to change?”

“Well, now that depends on what you mean by that question.” When the pastor dove all the way under the desk, Derek’s gaze followed him.

“How so?”

“Well,” the pastor said, coming back out and sitting in his chair because he was either taking a break or had been distracted from the search, Derek couldn’t tell which, “people change people, but one person cannot change another unless the person in question wants to change and is willing to change.”

“So they can change them?”

“No.”

Derek’s eyebrows dipped in confusion. “No? But you just said…”

“Let’s put it this way. If I want you to change, I can do everything I know to do to get you to change, but my wanting it and even doing something about it doesn’t make it happen.”

A second and Derek pulled up a chair. “Okay. So what does?”

The pastor leaned back in his chair. “Do you know anything about rocks?”

“Rocks.” He meant it as a question but said it as a statement. “Uh. Yeah. They’re the things out on the driveway.”

“Did you know if you put two rocks in a tumbler and leave them in there with the thing running, if they are not of the same strength, one rock will eventually crush the other?”

“Didn’t know that, but it makes sense.”

“So one rock can and does change another rock, but maybe not for the better.” The pastor leaned forward, his elbows on the desk, his hands folded in an inverted v. “That’s why I have all of these books. I’m trying to learn how not to crush the rocks that come to me that are fragile, the ones that come into my tumbler.” Leaning back, he waved his hands toward the office. “Here or in the church, or maybe up on a roof or picking out carpet samples.”

Derek smiled about the same time the pastor’s smile and wink invited him to.

For a second the pastor stopped and then shook his head as if he was arguing with someone who wasn’t there. “God sends me a lot of rocks, Derek. Good people who’ve been beaten down by life and circumstances—sometimes beyond their control, sometimes of their own making. My job is to polish them and not to break them, but doing that is not always easy because to polish, you must be the exact strength they need. Hit them too hard and you will fracture them, but not hit them hard enough and they will beat you down and they will not change. It’s not always easy to get it right. In fact, most of the time I feel very inadequate to affect any change at all, much less the right change. It is only with prayer and great trembling that I speak the words God gives me to speak into their lives, believing he knows the type of rock they are and what they really need.”

Nodding, Derek understood that because he had felt as much in his time with the pastor.

“You asked if people can change.”

Derek nodded again.

“I believe God’s whole plan is about affecting change, real change in people’s lives. Change from hatred to kindness. Change from self-righteousness to gentleness. Change from bitterness to forgiveness. Change even from fear to courage. I think about St. Paul, who was once named Saul, a man so bent on his religion that he was willing to kill Christians in his zeal for church purity. I think about Peter, once named Simon, a common fisherman who was called from his nets to be a leader of the church, something I’m sure he never expected. I think of Amos, called out of the fields to be a prophet of God.” Reaching back, he retrieved a Bible from the top of the stack and laid it on the desk. “Every single story in here is a story about change. Changed lives, changed people. People who changed because they relinquished their hold and let God mold them into His best version of them, or people who didn’t because they were too stubborn to give God that control.”

More than anything Derek needed to know the answer to the next question. “Does He still do that? Change people I mean?”

“All the time. See, I think God is the ultimate rock. He doesn’t need a thousand books to learn how to help a person change because He knows everything about each one of us. He knows our fears, our greatest desires, our failures, what we love, what we never want anyone else to know. He knows our hearts. And His greatest wish is that we will get into that tumbler with Him, not so He can break us but so He can polish us up, so we will become like Him, truly made in His image of love and light and peace and hope.”

Derek shifted. “That’s what you were talking about yesterday. About how Jesus is our hope.”

The pastor grinned. “So somebody was listening?”

“I’m trying,” Derek said with a sigh. “But this is all so new to me.” He shrugged. “Religion and this stuff was never all that important to me. In fact, it was way down here on the priorities list until I came here.” He flattened his hand lower than the armrests.

“And now?”

That question was much harder to answer. He thought it through once and then again. “The truth is, I’m trying to figure out if this is important now because I’m trying to play this thing out with Jaycee, or is it really important to me? You know. Is this just some game I’m playing, or am I really changing, and do I want to change, and do I believe all this stuff enough to change, or is it just something that I’ll get tired of and forget about tomorrow or the next day or a year from now?”

The pastor leaned back, not saying anything, just watching.

Another second and Derek stood to pace one way. “I mean, I feel like those guys, the ones you were talking about. Like I was one thing and now I’m being… what did you say? Called to be something else. But I don’t know if I can be that. I don’t know if being that is like this play acting thing. Am I doing it to impress her, or am I doing it because I really do want it for me? I mean, I go to church now, here, something I never thought I would do, and I actually kind of like it. I like listening and learning and really thinking about stuff and life and how God fits into it all. And then I think, who am I to even be asking about this stuff? I mean, I’m a carpenter, a guy who happens to be good with a hammer. I can sheetrock or put shingles on a roof. But I’m not like you.” Turning, he spun his hand at the books lining the walls. “I don’t read. I don’t understand a lot of things, not like you, not like that.”

The pastor just sat nodding.

“And then I think maybe I’m wasting my time asking these questions, thinking about this stuff. Maybe God’s not even real and this is all there is, and what’s the point of it all?”

Now the nodding was getting annoying. Why wasn’t the pastor saying something? Why wasn’t he jumping in to answer these maddening questions?

“I feel like I’m digging for something, something and I don’t even know what, something I can’t quite see, something I can’t quite grasp or get to or find. And then I think about how life was before all of this, how I just lived and I didn’t ask all these questions or think about these things, and I think what’s the point of even asking, of thinking about it if you can’t find an answer? You know? Does that even make sense?”

The smile on the pastor’s face slid to his lips slowly. “Perfect sense.”

That surprised Derek more than he realized it would, and he sat down. “Really? It makes sense to you? Because it sure doesn’t to me.”

A nod and the pastor sat back. “Do you remember our discussions about Hold ‘Em?”

Derek laughed. “Do I? They’re practically on-loop in my brain.”

The pastor nodded slowly and narrowed his eyes. “Do you think that’s what you’re doing with God?”

Derek’s face pinched in confusion. “I’m not following.”

“Well,” the pastor said, tipping his head, “think about it. You’ve been dealt this hand, this new understanding of God so to speak, and for your whole life every time you got this hand, you folded it out of habit or ‘reason’ or ‘reality’ because at the end of the day, you had already decided it was not a ‘winning hand.’” He put finger quotes around the words to emphasize them. “You didn’t play the hand of being in a relationship with God because of your past experience with it, but then, it got dealt to you again, only this time, your experience of the game had changed. Maybe you saw someone else play this hand and win. Maybe you had played other hands that didn’t work out like you’d hoped so you decided to take a chance on this one. Maybe you hadn’t had a decent hand in a long time and you figured, ‘Why not?’ But the farther you’ve gone into this hand, the deeper it became, the more intriguing maybe. Experience said you should’ve folded it a long time ago, but you haven’t. Why?”

Why? It was a good question. Part of it was about Jaycee, but that was no longer the whole story, and he knew it. “Because I just keep feeling like there’s something there, something that makes sense, something that… I’m missing or something, and if I could just find it or figure it out, everything else would make sense.”

“I believe there comes a point in everyone’s life when they ask, ‘Who am I?’ and ‘Who do I want to be?’

Derek nodded. “Is that what I’m looking for?”

“I don’t know. Is it?”

“Well, I talked to Derek earlier and I think we might get started on your kitchen tonight,” Jaycee said after she had inspected and measured and lined out the supplies for the windows. They had gone back inside to the tiny, dark kitchen where Ms. P had lemonade and cookies waiting. “Is tonight good for you?”

“Oh, I’m still a little on the fence about this whole thing,” Ms. P said, sitting down heavily in the creaky chair. They would need to either fix them or get new ones, Jaycee hadn’t decided yet. “I’ve been in this old kitchen for so long, I don’t know what I’ll even do with a new one.”

Reaching across the table, Jaycee put her hand on Ms. P’s. “You’re going to love it. I’ve seen the work Derek does, and he makes sure it’s perfectly you, not just perfectly perfect.”

“Well, I know you have a lot of faith in him, and to be honest, I can see why. He’s a great man that Derek.”

Jaycee leaned back, taking her hand with her as she lifted the glass. “That he is.” Just the thought of him sent spirals of feelings she still didn’t quite understand through her. One sip and she set the glass down and glanced around the kitchen. “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

“Certainly, honey-child, what’s on your mind?”

It felt like running into an enemy camp with no weapons, a leap into a chasm with no rope attached, a moment of pure insanity she shouldn’t be entertaining like she was. “I know that you and Mr. P were together for a long, long time.”

“Fifty-one years. God rest his soul.”

Nodding, Jaycee scooted forward. “How do you do that? How do you make it last like that? Is that just luck or what?”

“Well, it’s a lot of things really—learning to live with someone, the good, the bad, the ugly. It’s learning to let them live with you.” She leaned forward. “The good, the bad, the ugly.”

Jaycee smiled.

“It’s savoring the good moments and being willing to suffer through the bad ones together.”

“So you had bad ones?” It was a question she kept coming back to. Did marriages that worked simply not have bad moments, or did the people in them somehow know how to get through them in ways other people just didn’t?

“Oh, darlin’, we had our share of bad ones.” Ms. P shook her head. “When my babies was little, we went through bouts with things that I thought at the time was gonna take us all out. Clarence lost his job. Junior went down with mono. Clarrisa ran off with a boy we none liked. There were some mighty trying times.”

“But you made it through them?”

“We did. Not that I ever knew how we would at the time.” The older woman shifted in her chair. “I heard once that love in a married relationship is about learning to suffer together well, and if that was the criteria, then let me tell you, Clarence and I did our share of learning.”

Jaycee laughed softly. “Suffering? That doesn’t sound very romantic.”

“Romance is good and all, but it won’t carry you fifty years. There’s got to be some bedrock things there too like really believing in each other and trusting one another and knowing that whatever it is, you’re both committed to getting through it together. You can’t make a marriage work if somebody’s always got one foot out the door. Leaving can’t be an option because if it is, eventually, it’s an option you’re gonna take.”

Thinking that through, Jaycee tipped her head. “But how do you do that? How do you get both people to commit to something like that?”

“Well, the first thing you’ve got to have is two people who are mature enough to know things aren’t always going to be great. And then you have to have two people who are secure enough to not be counting on the other person to fill them up all the time.”

“Fill them up?”

Ms. P shifted again. “Every marriage that goes the distance is going to have its ups, and it’s going to have downs. It’s going to have times when you’ve made the right decision about something and sometimes when you’ve really messed up. You’ve got to remember, marriages on earth are made with two flawed people, and he’s going to do things that drive you crazy, and you’re going to do things that make him nuts. That’s just how it is because all of us are learning, all of us have our weak points and tough spots. None of us are perfect, and if you’re looking to marriage as a place where he’s got to be perfect or you’re going to be perfectly happy because he made you that way, you’re in for a lot of misery.”

“So why get married then? Why not just stay in a relationship for as long as it’s working?”

Ms. P smiled. “That way nobody gets hurt?”

“Something like that.”

“Let me tell you a little something about how we’re wired, Miss Jaycee. We weren’t wired to live life alone. In fact, in the Good Book God says, ‘It is not good for…’”

“Man to be alone.”

“That’s right. That means we’re wired to be in a relationship. It’s not good for us to be alone. Now that don’t mean hook up with the first chump who shows up, but it also doesn’t mean when the right person shows up we’re supposed to be holding back just in case. Marriage and really loving someone is about throwing your heart over the bar and expecting that the rest of you will follow.” She narrowed her gaze. “It’s like the Good Book says about how we’re supposed to love God—with all our hearts, all our minds, all our being. That don’t sound half-way or half-hearted to me.”

“Sounds impossible.”

“You’re right. It probably is. Remember what I said about us not being perfect?”

Jaycee nodded.

“Well, we’re not, and if you’re love is based on things being perfect, it’s not going to last. But when you’re in a relationship, you begin to realize that love isn’t about the other person being perfect. It’s about letting love perfect us.”

“I don’t understand.”

“The reason we’re not perfect is because we haven’t yet learned to live in perfect love, but the only way we learn to love is to love. Right? You can’t learn to love from some textbook. We’ve got to get in there and love on people—when they’re right, when they’re wrong, when they’re lovable and when they’re not. Having kids will teach you that. Them little critters will give you a run for your money in the love department. But what’ve I’ve learned is at the end of the day, when all is said and done, you love them anyway—past all the hurt and all the rough patches. You love them because you love them, not because they turn out this way or that, not because they do this or that, but just because you do.” She shook her head and laughed. “I know, that’s hard to explain.”

Then, as Jaycee thought about it, she shook her head too. “No. I get it. With the people I really love, I get it. My mom and dad. They aren’t perfect, and they’ve done a lot of things that I wasn’t too crazy about over the years, but I do still love them. I love them, how did you say it? Past what they’ve done? Like that. Sage. Luke. Ryder.” And then as she thought about it and all she had learned about him, she knew. “Even Derek. He’s so… He’s made a lot of not-so-perfect decisions in his life, and yet, somehow, it’s like I can see past all that into who he really is even if sometimes I don’t think he even sees it.”

Ms. P nodded. “I remember when Clarence lost his job, and we really didn’t know what we were going to do. He was so down, I didn’t know what to do. But I remember knowing he was a good man, knowing that somehow God was going to help us through it, and strangely, when we came out the other side, I knew we had learned how to love deeper than we knew how to love each other before. Not because it was perfect but because it wasn’t. And it wasn’t the romantic love like you were talking about before that got us through that one. No, it was get in there and just keep loving each other anyway kind of love… if that makes any sense.”

Jaycee nodded. “It does.”

A moment and Ms. P smiled. “I know you didn’t ask, but do you mind getting one more piece of advice from someone who feels like giving some?”

Her smile flowed freely. “Sure.”

“Never ever think in any relationship that you’re going to have tomorrow.”

That surprised her, and she shook her head. “Explain that.”

“I lived my whole life thinking I had time—time to tell him how I felt, time to tell my babies how much I loved them, time… And then one day, you look up, and they’re not there anymore, and you really wish you could go back and do the things and say the things that you never said because you thought there was going to be a tomorrow. You got to learn to love them, as deep as you can today, and if there is a tomorrow, learn to love them even deeper when you get there.”

Chapter 28

Derek pulled up to Ms. P’s at ten after five. He’d been to check on Rachel’s and the pastor’s. Both jobs were speeding along to completion faster than he wanted them to though Rachel’s had hit more than one snag along the way. Up the walk he went and to the front door where he knocked. The first issue was making sure they could work tonight. The second was calling Luke to make sure he was coming to help.

“Well, Mr. Derek,” Ms. P said, appearing at the door. “Come on in. Miss Jaycee’s already measuring for the drapes.” She laughed at her own joke.

Derek smiled. “She always seems to be one step ahead of me.”

“Get used to it.”

He followed her into the kitchen and found Jaycee at the table with a plate of cookies. “Now this hardly seems fair.” He wound his arms in front of himself. “While I’m out there working, you’re here eating cookies.”

“You’re welcome to some too, Mr. Derek,” Ms. P said obviously not catching the teasing wink he sent to Jaycee as he sat down.

“Yeah?” Jaycee said. “Well, some of us are special.” And just for his benefit, she took a cookie and bit into it.

“Would you like some lemonade?” Ms. P asked even as she retrieved a glass from the cabinet.

“I would love some.” With that, he reached over and took a cookie. “So, are we going to get to work over here tonight?” He pulled out his phone. “I was going to call Luke if we were, but I wanted to make sure.”

Jaycee nodded. “I think it’s all a-go if the new cabinets are ready. I didn’t want to start until they were ready to go in, that way Ms. P is only out a kitchen as long as is absolutely necessary.” She took another small bite while she fiddled with her phone. “I was thinking tear out everything in the kitchen tonight, resheetrock tomorrow night, cabinets on Wednesday, flooring on Thursday. I spoke with the painting guys today, and they can stain and finish the cabinets Friday morning, by then they should be done with the pastor’s and have a day or so before they have to get ready for whatever comes next. Oh, and I talked with the plaster guys today. It’s going to be Monday before they get to the church.”

“Monday? They can’t make it any sooner?” The cookie was great. The lemonade was even better. In fact, he inhaled the first two glasses of it before he even tasted it. Pouring himself a third glass, he narrowed his gaze. “Then we shouldn’t touch the inside of the church until Monday morning. No reason to mess it up for Sunday services. Then we can get in there, do the tear-out and be ready for them to replaster it by Monday afternoon.”

She nodded and went from her phone to her clipboard. “Are you going to call Luke?”

“Oh, yeah.” He picked up the phone and placed the call as she marked and scheduled things. In no time he had summoned their friend, and he came back to the conversation, realizing she was still writing things down.

“They called from H&H,” she said, her gaze burrowing into the details. “We’ll have the photo shoot for the ads tomorrow afternoon. They’re flying into Norfolk at noon. Elle will pick them up, bring them here. They can get it in the October issue, and the specials could start running as early as mid-November.”

“Mid-November? Will that even give them time to get all the footage edited?”

Jaycee shrugged. “Brent says it will. Who am I to argue?”

So by mid-November, they would no longer even be in Ridgemount. Strange how Derek’s mind went back to the pastor’s question about if anyone would be staying. Grounded. This was the most grounded Derek had ever felt in his whole life. It was as if he sensed he’d finally found a home he wanted to be a part of, or maybe one that was already a part of him. The thought of leaving set his spirit on edge. His glance across the kitchen reminded him not of the work but of the woman who would be most affected by their plans, and his heart went out to her.

Standing, he left Jaycee and went over to the cabinets where Ms. P stood. “I was going to tell you thanks so much for heading up the sandwich brigade. That has helped so much getting the guys lunch and back on the jobs in the afternoon.”

“Oh, Mr. Derek, you’re mighty welcome,” Ms. P said, turning to him. “They have been nothing but wonderful. I sure will miss you all once you get finished.”

“Well, I think it is us who will miss you.” He lowered his head in concerned admiration. “We have been very lucky to have you helping us.”

When she looked up at him, there were tears sparkling in her eyes. “It weren’t nothing, but I was glad to help.”

“It was something, and we appreciate it.”

As Jaycee watched from a few feet away, she almost laughed out loud when Derek put his arm around Ms. P. For a woman who gave out hugs like candy, she sure did look surprised when he hugged her.

“Now, Mr. Derek, you are one mighty charming man,” Ms. P said with a laugh. “My Clarence would have been plumb in awe of you.”

He laughed. “I try.” Stepping back from her, he looked up at her cabinets. “So, shall I go get my tools, or do you need some more time to say good-bye?”

Surprisingly her eyes lit up. “You gonna need some help? Because I’d be right happy to take out a couple of these doors my own self. They’ve been giving me fits for years.”

His smile matched hers. “You got it.”

The entire evening had been more fun than Jaycee thought one ever could be. Ms. P proved to be fierce at demolition, and they all had more than one laugh as she whacked into the cabinets they cleared out to make room for the new ones.

“We’ll be back tomorrow night to start putting this thing back together,” Derek assured Ms. P as they stood in what had once been her kitchen. Now most of it was in the dumpster truck they had brought over from the church shingling project.

“Are you two working again in the morning?” Ms. P asked as she looked at her small watch. “It’s already nearly midnight.”

“Ha. Ha,” Derek said, glancing over at Jaycee who was finishing stacking the tools in the corner. “No rest for the wicked.”

“Now, now, Mr. Derek, there aren’t a single wicked one of you in the bunch.”

Jaycee came back over, her normal suit paired down to just the sleeveless blouse and black pants. Demolition in heels and business suits. Derek shook his head. She made it look so easy. “I’ll be here bright and early in the morning with the crew to start on the windows. I don’t think it will take much more than a few hours.”

Ms. P shook her head. “You people need a vacation.”

“Well, that went well,” Jaycee said as they headed to the Sage’s. “I think you’ve found a new fan.”

He glanced over at her. “She’s great. I’m really glad we can do this for her.”

“Me too.” Jaycee sighed long and hard. “Wow. I forgot what these long days are like.” Winding her hand up and onto the back of her neck, she tipped it one way and then the other. “I’m going to have to start taking my vitamins again.”

This glance held far more concern. “Yeah, we should’ve gotten you home earlier. You don’t need to be overdoing it.”

“Overdoing it? What? You think Doc Braun won’t be happy about me swinging a sledgehammer or staying out ‘til midnight-thirty?”

“Neither. Are you going in tomorrow?”

“I was thinking Wednesday. I’d like to keep an eye on the crew at Ms. P’s tomorrow. You really need to be over at the pastor’s. They should be finishing that one up in the next day or two. And you’ll need to get the stand-ups done for that one, and I know we need a bunch more stand-ups for Rachel’s. We’re way behind over there. Not to mention the ad shoot tomorrow.”

Derek glanced over at her again, and she felt his growing concern. “You sure this isn’t too much for you?”

“Derek, I’m fine. This is my job. Remember?”

But he didn’t look convinced.

Jaycee was less than convinced as well the next morning when the alarm went off, and she had to drag herself from the bed. Five hours of sleep after the night she’d had was enough to take the legs out from under even her determination. Still, Derek was surely up already. She smiled at that. Their goodnights in the darkness of the house the night before were enough to get her heart revving, and going on the memories and not much more, she dressed quickly and headed out to start her day.

A huge part of Derek was surprised to see her when she walked into the kitchen at five after six the next morning and one smaller part that said he shouldn’t be. “Morning, Sunshine.”

“Ironic, right?” she asked as she went to the cabinet and got a banana.

He took a small sip of coffee. “How’s that?”

“Sunshine.” Coming over, she got a cup for herself as well. “I feel like I haven’t seen any of that in days.” She took a sip and leaned over onto his arm. “Five more minutes, Mom,” she said just as she had when she was younger. She yawned hard and long. “Man, this no sleep thing is brutal.” Pulling herself up, she shook her head as if to get her brain waves to start moving again. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“Me?” he asked in surprise. “I’m just trying to keep up with you.”

“Ha. Ha.” Crossing past him, she ran her hand over his stomach, very much liking how that felt every time she got the chance to do it. “So are we going to Rachel’s first or what?”

“I figured I’d start at the pastor’s, get the stand-ups there out of the way.” He followed her to the table, imminently more concerned with every glance. “You sure you don’t need a break?”

“It’s Tuesday.” She smirked at him. “Surely I can make it past Tuesday.”

But he wasn’t so sure.

The work during the day wasn’t as physically demanding as it could be for Derek, but after the late nights, early mornings, and worrying about her, he was flying on fumes by noon. He went to the center, grabbed a sandwich and some chips and had just sat down when Luke came over and sat down looking like he’d just lost his good hunting dog.

Derek took one look at his friend and sighed. “Do I want to know?”

One look, and there could be no other answer. “Probably not.”

“It’s not Jaycee, is it?”

Luke shook his head.

With a nod, Derek took a bite, a swallow, and a drink. “Okay. So how bad is it?”

“Scale of one to ten? About an eleven.” Luke pulled forward, his hands making a v on the table. “When I went to plumb the sink in at Ms. P’s, the pipe broke. I chased it halfway down the wall and finally decided to just pull the sheetrock.”

Trouble. This was going to be trouble. Derek could feel it.

“I just got the last of the sheetrock down in the kitchen, and well… We’ve got copper pipes that are pretty much shot and electrical that’s crumbling like a dry cake, and there’s no insulation anywhere. What’s even left is just pretty much dust.”

The can hit the table with a crack. A sigh, and Derek took another bite of the sandwich. “I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“And…” Luke said slowly.

“There’s more?”

“We got most of the windows in, but one of the back ones is cracked, and not a little edge crack either. Looks like someone dropped it on transport.”

“Hey, guys, how’s it going?” Jaycee asked, stepping up, sitting down next to Derek and grabbing one of his chips. She was half-an-inch away from biting it when she took a real look at them. The chip lowered almost on its own power. “That bad?”

Scale and scope. They were always issues with any project. If you jumped in without knowing the full extent of them, they could derail even the best of plans.

“It’s Ms. P’s,” Luke said before Derek could get it out. The sheer exhaustion was beginning to take its toll on all of them. “We might have bitten off more than we can chew over there.”

Jaycee looked from Luke to Derek who suddenly felt the weight of her expectations fall on him.

“We’ll get it done,” he said, nodding. “It’s just going to take longer than we had figured on.”

“But we were supposed to be over to help Caleb with Rachel’s by Monday,” Jaycee said.

“Yeah, well, short of leaving her with no house to speak of…” Derek shook his head. “That ain’t happening now.”

The good news was the shingling crew finished the church up by Wednesday. The bad news was, every plastering crew for 100 square miles was full-up busy for three weeks. What had at one point looked doable and like they’d be able to make a quick exit was quickly turning into a time-pit with no real viable exit strategy.

So, Derek called the crews together on Friday, wishing he had better news, but knowing some things couldn’t be helped. “Okay, everyone. First, I want to say how much I appreciate all the effort you’ve been putting in while we’ve been here. This has been quite a project to say the least. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like we’ll be wrapping this up quite as fast as I had hoped. We’ve run into a few issues that are just going to take some time to work out. I know Caleb’s crew is still knee deep in work, but as for Alex’s, I think we’re going to have to call a B-crew vacay.”

Happiness swept through half of the workers there.

“Since you guys came straight from Nevada anyway, I’m guessing that won’t be too much of a problem.” Derek laughed softly at their reaction, having not really realized how straight through they had all been working too. “I’m figuring we’ll have about two weeks left here, and then we’ll call you back on to finish things up or to move to the next project.”

It was clear no one was objecting to that.

“That said, as soon as we break here, I’ll let A-Crew go as well for this weekend. I need to walk through that project and figure out where we are and what we lack.”

“I think it looks like about 10 days to 2 weeks,” Caleb said from the side, and Derek nodded at that.

“Okay,” Derek said. “Then we’ll figure about two weeks for Crew A. So Elle, that means you need to start scouting for about three weeks or so out.”

“Got it, Derek,” she said.

“Katie, I’m going to talk with Brent and see what he wants to do after that.”

“Okay.”

“I guess that’s it. Let me know if you have questions.”

The group broke up as Jaycee stepped to his side. “You don’t want to keep B-crew to help with Ms. P’s?”

“Brent and I talked, and the money’s just not there. We were only doing the windows, remember?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “Okay. Then it looks like it could be some late nights for a couple of weeks.”

Although most of the others had already gone, Caleb hadn’t left, and he stepped over to them as Luke came from the other direction.

“I didn’t realize you had that much left on the other jobs,” Caleb said. “I thought you were close with the church, and Alex said they got all the windows in at the other one.”

“Well, we’ve been doing some side work at night on that one,” Derek said with a glance at the other two.

“Side work?” Caleb asked in confusion as he folded his arms in front of him. “I thought we were just doing windows over there.”

Jaycee scratched the back of her head and looked up at Derek who looked down at her. A moment and she turned to Caleb. “Ms. P and us go way back. She did a lot for us when we were younger, and we wanted to pay her back.”

“It was supposed to just be the kitchen cabinets and some paint,” Luke said, “but…”

Caleb nodded. “Let me guess, copper pipes, 1,000 year old electrical…”

“Pretty much,” Luke said with his own nod.

“We were thinking side job at night,” Derek said, “but even with doing some of it in the day…”

That sent outright concern over Caleb’s face. “Wait. You’ve been working at night too?”

Derek shrugged. “It’s not like we’ve never done that before.”

“Yeah, but you guys have been out here every day, most of the time before everyone else even showed up.” Caleb shook his head slowly and then let out a long breath. “Well, you know I can’t help during the day, but maybe I can lend you guys a hand at night and tomorrow if you’re working then.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Derek said quickly. “I’m sure we can get it.”

Caleb laughed. “I’m sure you can too, but helping out won’t kill me. Besides, I’m kind of starting to like it around here.”

Derek smiled. “Me, too, man. Me, too.”

Epilogue

With Jaycee officially mended and Caleb there to help, Saturday went amazingly well. In fact, they had decided to go ahead and replumb the bathroom and rewire everything. The last thing any of them wanted was for the place to catch fire and burn down after they’d put so much effort into it.

Jeremiah and Andrew came to help as well, and Jaycee and Derek enjoyed showing the boys how to pull the wires and find the studs in the walls. By nightfall, when they decided they had done as much as they could, Caleb bid them farewell and headed for Rachel’s mother’s house. It seemed he had located local accommodations as well.

Climbing into the truck, Jaycee laughed as she brushed the day’s dirt off of her jeans. “Well, that was fun.”

Derek looked over at her as he started the pickup. “Oh, is that what you call it?”

“You didn’t have fun?”

He smiled. “I’m not complaining.” Leaning over, he kissed her before he pulled out and headed to Luke’s.

“We should be able to get a lot done tomorrow. We might even get the sheetrock up in the kitchen.”

“Oh. Uh.” He glanced over at her, and worry snapped over her.

“What?”

“Um. We’re not going to Ms. P’s tomorrow.”

“We’re not? Why not?”

He let out a long breath. “Because I think we all need a break, and it’s Sunday, and I have other plans.”

“Other plans?” She jerked backward in horror and confusion. “Like what?”

A second and he reached for her hand with a smile on his face. “Like going out to the lake.” Twisting her hand, he pulled it up to his lips and kissed it softly. “I don’t want it to get too cold, and if we don’t go this weekend, we might not have another chance while we’re here.”

How could she argue with that? Besides, he had been working back-to-back-to-back18-hour days. Even Derek West needed time to rest and recharge.

“Well,” she said, sidling up next to him as he raised his arm and put around her. “I guess you’re the boss.”

The evening with her family was relaxing, and by church the next morning, they could have been no more a couple if they had actually been married. Her mother invited them over for lunch, but Jaycee declined for both of them explaining they already had plans. When she looked up at him, plans had never sounded so good.

They made their escape after talking with the pastor and telling Luke and Sage not to worry about them for lunch. It took little time for them to change and head out to the lake, and Jaycee had to admit a day off to spend with him was the best idea anyone had ever had.

“So,” she said, sliding her hand up and down the length of his leg as he drove, “you think Caleb will be popping the question any time soon?”

Derek’s gaze snapped down to her, and it took a full moment for him to put it back on the road. “Engaged? You think he would? It’s only been a few weeks.”

“I know, but you heard him on Friday, he’s starting to like it around here. And he was over at her mom’s last night. It’s not like this is any big secret anymore.”

“Actually, I’ve kind of been thinking about something,” Derek said, and there was a mysterious quality to his voice.

“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

“Well, you know how good Caleb is with a hammer?”

“Yeah?”

“How do you think he would be in front of a camera?”

The thought slammed Jaycee to a stop. “Wow. Uh. I don’t know. That’s pretty much something you’ve either got or you don’t.”

“Maybe he does. What do you think?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

The day at the lake was perfect. Yes, it was cooler than it had been the first time they were there, but with a T-shirt and flannel over-shirt, it was hardly cold. Finding a good little spot, they ate lunch and sat for a while just watching the boaters and the fishermen. When sitting became too strenuous, Derek lay down on the blanket and pulled her down with him. He wasn’t sure which was warmer, her or the sun, but they both felt incredibly good.

Jaycee sighed as she lay in his arms on their blanket, soaking up her fair share of the sun’s warmth and his as well. “Wow. Who knew a day off could be this good?”

Leaning down, he kissed her forehead. “Any day I get to spend with you is a good one in my books.”

She came up then, putting her hand on his chest and leaning on her elbow to look at him. “It’s so weird, you know?”

He looked right at her with perfect peace in his eyes. “Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

“This.”

“This is weird?” he asked with concern.

“Well, yeah. I mean all those times I thought about what it would be like to be with you. Somehow I never really pictured this.”

With a tight smile and a raise of his eyebrows, he questioned that. “So you did picture ‘this’ then? Us, I mean.”

Like she was about to admit she’d stolen heaven, she sighed. “Yes. I pictured it, I dreamed about it, I thought about it, whatever. I did. I’m not blind and stupid, you know.”

He twisted his head slightly. “Okay, so if you didn’t picture this, what did you picture?”

She dragged in a breath and smiled. “I don’t know, Vegas, New York, Reno? You never really struck me as a lay out by the lake and just be kind of guy.”

Without making a sound, he laughed. “That wasn’t me.”

Confusion dropped on her. “Not you? Then who was it?”

Derek raked in a long breath. “Some guy who thought life was about image and impressing everybody else and making them want to be around you.”

“I want to be around you.”

He smiled. “I know.” Gently, he put his hand on her neck and pulled her lips down to his. “Believe me, I know.”

The sun had long set. The boaters and fishermen had all gone home. As they lay in the little rowboat, rocking on the gentle waves, Derek closed his eyes loving the feeling of simply holding her all. He had played the game, he had watched, he had learned, and he had finally decided. This was the hand he wanted to go all-in on. In fact, it was why he had insisted on going to Greely the day before to get the pizza. Sure, she could have gone, or Luke, or even Caleb. But there was something special he had picked out, something he had ordered on one of his previous trips to get supplies.

When they had called to tell him it had come in on Friday, he had known he couldn’t wait long because waiting and not telling her might kill him. But it had to be romantic. It had to be perfect. She deserved that.

Most of all, he wanted her to remember this moment, this night, and never, ever think he had just thrown something together.

“Sorry I couldn’t get you lanterns,” he said softly, kissing her hair and hugging her to him.

She laughed softly. “Eh. Lanterns are over-rated. Besides, I think this is more my style of romantic anyway.” Tightening her grip on him, she dragged in a breath. “And I’m beginning to think I misunderstood romantic anyway.”

“Oh? How’s that?”

“I don’t know. I always thought romance was him showing up in a tux with roses and champagne. But then I realized, I don’t even like champagne, you know? And maybe what’s romantic is just being with someone you love and knowing they feel the same way.”

The center of his heart felt as if it might burst wide open. “Does that mean I never have to wear a tux?”

She laughed softly. “Well, I wouldn’t say never.”

He joined her in the laugh. “Good. Because someday I want to see you all dolled up with your hair up and diamonds on your neck, and I’m going to feel a little out of place standing next to you in this get up.”

Jaycee shook her head and laughed. “You’re crazy, you know that?”

Yes, Derek knew. More than she could even imagine. “Yeah. I am. About you.”

Waves and torrents of love washed through and over her so that Jaycee’s heart could hardly hold it all.

“In fact,” he said, rolling slightly to the side, “there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.”

As he sat up, so did she although for her, the move brought concern with it. “Okay.”

He righted himself on the boards of the little craft as she sat in the bow on the other side. A second and he feathered his fingers through his hair and his gaze came up to hers. Serious. That’s what she saw in his eyes all the way to the bottom of them, and worry swept over her.

“Derek, what is it? What’s wrong?”

However, instead of holding the seriousness, his face broke with happiness. “Well, other than I’m about to do something I never, ever thought I would do again, nothing.”

Confusion pelted her. “What…? Are you…? I don’t…”

And then, rocking the boat just a touch, he swiveled on it and came to rest, one knee up and one behind him. A split second, the question was in her brain, the next it exploded into understanding. He wasn’t… He wouldn’t…. He was!

“Jaycee Lawrence.” And somehow, he had a box in his hands though his gaze never once left hers.

She looked at it and then back at him in shock. “Der…?”

Carefully, slowly he opened the box and a diamond sparkled from the depths of the velvet darkness. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my entire life. You’ve taught me so much, and I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I want you to spend the rest of your life with me. Will you marry me?”

Marry. The word hardly seemed real. This hardly seemed real.

No words would come as she fought the tears that sprang into her entire being at the same time. “Oh, Derek…”

He tipped his head in amused concern. “That’s not a yes.”

She laughed, which dislodged both the tears and the words. “Yes! Oh, my gosh, yes. A million times yes!”

Somehow they managed to not tip the boat over though it rocked dangerously, and then they were together, hugging and kissing. His kisses. Jaycee knew she would never get enough of them.

Pulling back with a laugh, he angled his gaze down as his free hand took hers. “I really hope this fits.”

When he slipped it onto her finger and she looked at it, Jaycee gasped. It was incredible, but as incredible as it was, it paled in comparison to him. “Oh, Derek, it’s beautiful. I love it.”

“Really? You really do?”

She smiled as she looked at him. “Yes, I really do. Almost as much as I love you.”

Relief flooded his features as he took her back into his arms. “I love you too.” Tilting toward her, he laid his lips on hers, and sweetness and joy had never tasted so good.

A moment and the kiss ended. He pulled back but did not let her go as he tucked her under his arm. “And now,” he said, looking at the little box in his other hand. He held it out, gazing at it for the span of eternity, and then, rocking the boat slowly, he held his balance and stood.

“Derek? What’re you…?”

With an arm she didn’t know he had, he threw the little box long and hard out into the night.

The quiet lake rendered but a single, small splash as it accepted and then absorbed the object, and then all was quiet once again.

In shock, Jaycee looked up at him. “What did you do that for?”

A peace she had never known existed settled in his eyes as he looked down at her. “Because I’m all in.”

Her smile started near her heart and made it to her lips about the time he made it back down next to her. “I love you, Jaycee Lawrence.”

“I love you, Derek West.”

And all-in had never tasted so sweet.

Did you LOVE Derek & Jaycee?

The saga continues with Caleb and Rachel!

A Love Like This

Coming November 2016!

Sneak Peak

Chapter 1

From “A Love Like This”

“I don’t know about this,” Caleb James said even as his boss, Derek West, wired the mic to his shirt. He re-angled his gaze downward, simultaneously trying to see and to find a way to talk his boss out of this craziness. “I’ve never done a stand up before. How will I know what to say?”

“You’ll do fine,” Derek said as he reset the wire and stepped back, clapping Caleb on both shoulders. “Look, you know more about this project than all of us combined. You’ll do great.”

“Yeah, but me? On camera? What if I completely mess this up?”

Derek quirked a mischievous grin. “What if you don’t?”

When his boss stepped away, Caleb closed his eyes and exhaled hard, wanting to argue, but not knowing how to get Derek to understand what a thoroughly horrible idea this was. It was, after all, a thoroughly, unimaginably bad idea.

However, before Caleb could get any more of his protest out, Cliff, the head of the camera crew, stepped up with three camera-people in tow, including the girl with the make-up brush who came right over to Caleb and started dusting him with some powder that smelled like awful old-lady perfume.

“You about ready over here?” Cliff asked.

Squinting as she dusted his face once more, Caleb fought to get all of his thoughts into some logical order. It wasn’t working very well.

“As we’ll ever be,” Derek said before turning to Caleb. “Now, seriously, you can do this. Just take a breath and explain what you’ve been doing. It’s simple.”

“Simple. Yeah, right. Like losing my mind simple?” Caleb mumbled. “’Cause that’s what I’m doing. I’m losing my mind. I have to be. How else did I let you talk me into this one? This is insane. Certifiably insane.” He rolled his shoulders around twice and tipped his head first one way and then the other as if he was about to go into the ring with the heavyweight champion of the world. “Okay, Caleb, dude, you can do this. If Derek thinks you can do this, then you can do this.”

Just then, at the curb of the house where they were standing, a tan-gold older model car pulled up, and Caleb’s gaze snagged on it, caught, held, and then jerked his heart to its knees with a yank. Rachel.

Great. She had to show up now. Like he needed any more pressure or distractions. Without even trying, she was both in massive doses.

“We’re ready when you are,” Cliff said in front of him, and with one more sidelong glance over to the curb, Caleb asked himself once more how he had gotten talked into this.

“Guess I’m ready as I’ll ever be,” he said, fighting not to let his shaking spirit sound in his voice.

“K. Then in five, four, three, two…” Cliff pointed at him, and just like that, Caleb James stepped into a whole new chapter of his life.

Seeing the knot of people up on the small incline of the yard of her home which was in far better shape than when they had shown up four weeks before, Rachel Taylor tried not to think about them as she popped open the back door to the old sedan and retrieved first her son and then with considerably more effort, her daughter.

“Hey, Rachel, we’re so glad you could make it,” Jaycee Lawrence, one of Rachel’s long-ago classmates and the spear-head for this crazy project, said as she strode up. “Caleb is doing his first stand-up.”

“Oh, yeah? How’s that going?” Rachel swung little Natalie up onto her hip and had to resettle her own shoulder-length, reddish brown hair that got caught in the transaction. With no thought to it at all, she grabbed Rhett’s hand at her side and shut the car door with a quick back kick.

“Great. He seems to be a real natural at it.” Jaycee didn’t come any closer to the children than need be, but Rachel understood. In her pressed white cotton business button-down shirt and stylish black pants, Jaycee probably couldn’t afford to get fingerprints and kid stains on it. No, Rachel didn’t blame her one bit.

Ever since the television and construction crews had arrived in Ridgemount after Hurricane Gabriel, Rachel had done her level best to steer clear of Jaycee and most of the others. She felt like yesterday’s garbage next to them, especially the ones who were regulars on camera. Not that Jaycee was or wasn’t. Rachel hadn’t really bothered to ask, but her old classmate oozed big-city style, and Rachel had no reason to even try to compete with her. It was a hopeless cause going in.

“They were hoping we could do a stand up or two with you today,” Jaycee said as they made their way up the long sidewalk, “if you’re up for it.”

“Me?” Rachel squeaked out, her eyes going wide with fear as she clutched her son’s hand tighter. Without stopping they went right past the standups now being conducted on her front lawn. Rachel swallowed down the panic, at least she tried to. “Why would they want me?” She looked down at herself. Having just gotten off of work at the school, she hardly looked camera-ready.

“Just a few words about how it’s going, what you think of the work, that kind of thing,” Jaycee said as the four of them climbed the porch.

It was times like this that Rachel felt surreal slither over her. Not that she hadn’t had her fair share of surreal moments in the last several years, but these felt very different. The others were wrapped in numbness, shock, pain, and grief. These only held utter panic and the sharp desire to run away from it all.

“Uh, I really don’t think today’s a good day for that,” Rachel said, and she flipped her hair back with a twist of her head. “I just came by to check on things. I’m not really…”

For one heart-stopping second her gaze slipped out to the yard and held on the gathering of men and women amidst the cameras and then to one man in particular. Muscles bulging from his tanned arms under the simple smoky blue T-shirt, face dusted with dark whiskers under the dark waves of hair. He had a face that would stop women in their tracks and a body to match. She knew he had definitely stopped her in her tracks more than once in their last few weeks together. Caleb James.

A gentleman in every sense of the word. Kind. Compassionate. Helpful. Handsome.

It was too bad the date he had asked her on had never actually materialized. First it was Rhett who had gotten sick, and then Natalie. And just when Rachel thought they were through it all, her mother came down with the awful stuff. It was by the Grace of God alone that Rachel herself had stayed on her feet, but by the time everyone got healthy and well, Caleb had clearly forgotten all about the offer.

Granted that was just as well. There were so many things standing in their way—the fact that he traveled for work and she couldn’t leave even if she wanted to; the fact that she still wasn’t ready to really move on after losing Nathan; the two kids, her mother, her job. Yes, Caleb was a nice fantasy, but Rachel knew as well as anyone that’s all he would ever be.

“Well, the good news is, we’re finally making some actual progress,” Jaycee said, clearly noticing Rachel’s momentary pause but choosing not to say anything about it. “It’s a good thing we had Caleb over here. Derek would have gone nuts trying to do all of this himself.”

“Mommy, I’m thirsty,” Rhett said at her side, and Rachel looked down at him, knowing she really should have just headed straight home from the babysitter’s. The kids were tired, and she wasn’t much better.

“There’s some water inside,” Jaycee said. “I’m sure the guys would love for you to see the place if you can stay just a little bit.”

What to do. What to do. Rachel always found herself asking that question these days. Being a single mom who was also the main caregiver for a mother who could no longer care much for herself, Rachel’s life was pretty well set on ‘what should I do,’ and often the answers that came back to her were either undoable or beyond what she ever thought she would be asked to do in this life. “Okay. I guess a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt.”

Concentrating on explaining their final flooring choices and what they had decided to do for the handrails up the stairs was seriously taxing Caleb’s brain capacity, and her arrival hadn’t helped anything.

“Since we couldn’t really rework the fireplace like we wanted,” he said, ticking down the list of items he could talk about with some amount of confidence, “we decided to paint it a soft white and then trim it out with a dark-stained cedar mantel to match the baseboards. Of course, Rachel had already nixed the idea of the crown molding to save some money, but the dark baseboards will still play nicely off of the engineered hardwoods we decided to go with.”

“And cut,” Cliff called. “Perfect. Let’s do one more about the upstairs bathroom issues.”

“I can’t believe how different it looks,” Rachel said as she and Jaycee stood with the kids in what would soon be the kitchen. It was sheet-rocked now and painted. The cabinets were to go in the next day, and she could hardly wait. “I absolutely love the color of the floors. And these walls.”

“It’s going to look so incredible with the cabinets and the dark countertops,” Jaycee said. “And I think the backsplash came in today too.”

Looking around, Rachel tried to picture it all even as she thought through the project. “So did they get the upstairs bathroom figured out?” she asked, giving Natalie small sips from the water bottle, being extra careful not to let her daughter’s drinks get all over the both of them. They really would have to be going soon, but she was hoping to squeeze at least a few minutes of talking to Caleb out of the visit. Not that she should want that, but she did just the same.

“Ugh. Finally. I think they ended up taking a couple feet out of the bedroom to get the tub figured into it and turned the way it needed to be. Whoever designed that thing had no idea what they were doing.”

“I know Caleb’s been really worried about it,” Rachel said as Natalie squealed and kicked. Smiling, at her daughter’s antics, Rachel shifted her to the other hip with no small amount of effort. “Come here, you.”

Jaycee smiled. “She’s so precious.” Reaching over, she put her hand on the little girl’s back, and Rachel noticed the flash on her friend’s left hand.

“Whoa! Hold up just a second there.” Carefully Rachel reached for her friend’s hand and pulled it out into the light. “Why, Jaycee Lawrence, is there something you haven’t told me?”

Smiling shyly, Jaycee ducked. “It just happened last night. I’m still trying to get used to it.”

“You and Derek?” Rachel asked, excited for her friend even as the memories of that time in her life came rushing back with stabbing velocity. True, she was learning to deal with that though it never really seemed to get any easier.

“Yep. Me and Derek…”

The front door snapped open and with no attempt to be quiet, the guys walked in. Instinctively, Jaycee shrank back taking her hand with her, clearly not wanting to talk about it with them right there.

“Well, that went about as well as it could have,” Derek said to Caleb who looked like he might be sick at any moment. Rachel wanted to ask, but she ducked back instead, intentionally preoccupying herself with giving her daughter a drink.

“I’m glad you think so, I nearly passed out. I don’t know how you do it.”

“You get used to it.” Without pretense, Derek went over to Jaycee and wrapped her in his arms. “Hello, love of my life, I missed you.”

Jaycee laughed a small squeal. “I missed you too, but I never actually left, you know that, right?”

“Details.” And Derek kissed her soundly.

Swinging her gaze from them over to Caleb who had wound his arms over themselves watching his boss and his lady friend with a grin, Rachel grimaced but with a happy tinge. It was truly amazing how many times a day one could be blind-sided by memories.

“Uh-hmmm,” Caleb finally said loudly as he watched them. Then he shook his head at Rachel as if he was annoyed. “Who knew they were going to be this obvious?”

“Well, I guess when you’re in love…,” Rachel said with a wistful lilt. In love. How she remembered being in love. When all the world just disappeared and forever seemed well within reach. It was still hard to believe how short forever actually was.

“Caleb!” Rhett picked that moment to wander back into the room. He shrieked and raced over to his new best friend who scooped him up and sent him in a death spin right over his shoulder.

“Hey, there, Buddy! How’re you doing?” Caleb’s gaze swept up and over the child he righted with ease. “You good?”

Rhett nodded seriously, and Rachel had to make herself breathe for the scene. Somehow she knew she shouldn’t let Rhett get close to another guy who would be leaving soon, but somehow she hadn’t really had a choice in the matter. They were like long lost best friends every time they were in the same room. Granted, she loved that Rhett had a male presence, but it worried her just the same. Before she could get those thoughts all the way to some satisfactory conclusion, Caleb looked over at his newly-engaged friends once again and shook his head.

“You know,” he said, directing the words at the two love birds, “we could go down to the church right now and just do this thing up right if you want. I just saw the pastor go by a few minutes ago.”

Coming up for air with a laugh, they turned to him, Jaycee caught firmly in Derek’s embrace though they were both now facing outward. In their defense, Rachel thought, they had waited until nearly everyone else had gone home. However, she could tell the wait and being demure about the engagement had not been easy.

“We’ll get there,” Derek said, smiling. “We’re going tell her folks tonight.”

Caleb grinned and shook his head. “So does this mean we’ve got the night off at Ms. P’s?” He glanced over at Rachel though she could tell he hadn’t really meant to.

Jaycee’s gaze went instantly over to Rachel and then up to Derek, and Rachel understood the silent conversation better than she had ever understood outright words.

“Oh,” Rachel said, straightening, “you know, it’s fine if you’re going to Ms. P’s.” She looked down at Natalie, now huddled into her shoulder, sucking her thumb. “It’s a school night anyway, so we sure won’t be doing anything special out at Mom’s but baths and early bed time.”

“Nothing special?” Caleb asked, looking at Rhett in mock horror. “Why, every night’s special with these two.” Reaching down, he tickled the little boy who squiggled and squealed in his arms. A moment more of playing and Rhett came up to throw his arms around Caleb’s neck. Like it was the most natural thing in the world, Caleb hugged the little boy to him, his hand wrapping all the way around the child’s ribcage.

“So did Caleb get to show you upstairs?” Derek asked without letting Jaycee go.

“Oh. Uh. No. Not yet.” Rachel always got a lump of tears caught in her throat when she watched Caleb and Rhett together like that. What she wouldn’t have given to see Nathan with his son just enjoying being together. But she of all people knew that was a dream she would never realize, so she shook out of that thought, and looked over at Derek with a stoic tilt of her head. “But I’d love to see it.”

“Great. Let’s go.”

As they turned for the stairs, Rachel shook her head, honestly in awe of how different the space looked now. “You know, I still can’t believe how different it looks without that wall here. I just can’t get over how much bigger it is.”

In tandem, they all started for the stairs that wrapped up the wall opposite the fireplace and just beyond the little space where a table would eventually go.

“The new bay window should be here tomorrow or the next day,” Caleb said, following all of them and shadowing Rachel as she went up the as-of-now handrail-less stairs. That always kind of freaked her out, and she was glad for his presence right behind her to keep her from plunging off the edge.

“It’s hard to believe this is even our house to be honest with you,” she said, two steps behind Jaycee who was holding Derek’s hand in a death grip ahead of them. “I can’t wait to see it when it’s done.”

“Me either,” Jaycee said. “It’s funny. I remember coming here with Mom when I was little. It was always so dark and gloomy.”

“Well, it’s not going to be dark and gloomy anymore,” Derek said as they reached the top of the second story landing to find light pouring in through one of the new windows they had installed earlier. “Welcome to your new upstairs.”

“Oh! Wow!” Rachel’s eyes widened at the scene, and she stopped, spellbound. Light seemed to emanate from the room itself. Since she hadn’t been here since the sheetrockers had come through, she’d only been relying on her imagination and Caleb’s vision to see how the space might be when it was finished. Now with the window in and the walls up, imagination paled in comparison to reality. “Wow. I love this little space right here. I can so see the kids playing here when they get a little older. We could put up a bookshelf here and a couple of little beanbag chairs.”

“We’re planning to put a gate here.” Behind her, Caleb indicated the wall to the stair post. “That way when they’re up here at night, you don’t have to worry about one of these little guys getting up and wandering off where they shouldn’t be.” He bounced Rhett twice and buried his nose into the child’s neck, making the three-year-old squeal with delight, which brought a hearty laugh out of Caleb.

True wonder and awe took over then as Rachel walked slowly from the landing area over to the bedrooms, knowing how amazing they would be and yet so wanting to see them in real life. Into the first, Rhett’s, she went, and awe fell into something far deeper. “Oh, wow. I can’t believe how much bigger it looks. You said you were going to take some footage out of it, but it doesn’t…”

“Well, we did our best to keep as much of the original footprint as possible,” Caleb explained even as Jaycee and Derek faded to the side. Rachel knew she should be self-conscious with them standing right there, but she was far too overwhelmed to think about that. “This wall came in about two extra feet here, but because it kills into this closet, you don’t really notice that you’ve lost anything.”

“Oh, my…. Wow. I just can’t believe it.” Rachel hugged Natalie to her and fought to keep the tears at bay. “I had no idea it could look like this.”

Caleb grinned at her. “So, you want to see the new bathroom?”

Her eyes lit with anticipation. “Try and stop me.”

He laughed and led the way out. “Okay. Now, there’s no fixtures or anything yet, so you’re going to have to use your imagination, but...” At the door frame, he turned to let her go in ahead of him, and she dipped past him, feeling the magnetism of his body on hers as she did so. He slid his free hand up the doorframe and leaned there, holding Rhett and watching her.

However, once she was in the room, awe didn’t come close. “Oh, my…! Oh, wow! I… You said, about the tub, but… You were serious?” Her gaze went over to him but didn’t hold. The transformation of the space gripped her so powerfully that remembering propriety or how she should act slipped away and disappeared. “So we’re really going to have an actual-actual bathtub in here?”

She went over and inspected the walls that would frame where the new tub would go. In her wildest imagination, she had never thought they might really be able to put a tub in that space when she had mentioned it on their first walk-through. How many times had she knelt by the little shower hosing a child off and wishing she had thought about the task when she and Nathan had first toured the house what now seemed eons ago?

Then again, at that time, Rhett was still getting his baths in the sink, and a shower had been more than adequate for just the two of them. Kids and bathtubs. It was strange how right the two of them felt together. Once again she hugged Natalie to her, and this time she couldn’t stop the tears from stinging into and then out of her eyes. Sniffing, she tried to stop them but that didn’t work at all.

“Aw, hey.” Caleb let his arm slide back down the doorframe as he came over to her and wrapped her into the protection of his embrace. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Rachel knew she was being ridiculous. All this emotion over a simple bathtub was beyond embarrassing. Still, the tears kept streaming out. She sniffed again and then harder, trying to get them to stop. Her smile came but couldn’t hold. “I’m sorry.” Pulling back, she swiped at her eyes, fought for a smile, and then took several breaths. Another sniff did a better job of stemming the tide of tears. “I just…”

Taking only a half-step back from her, Caleb leveled his dark-eyed gaze on her in sympathy and concern. “Hey, no need to be sorry. This all must be pretty overwhelming for you.”

With a soft laugh and another swipe of her eyes, she looked up at him. “You can say that again.” And then as she stood there in the confines of that small space gazing up at him, she had to say it because she knew sometimes you don’t get a second chance. “Thank you for all of this.”

His smile, soft and gentle, glided across her heart and brushed the sadness away. “My pleasure.”

The bathroom turned out to be the end of the tour. Natalie was tired, and Rhett clearly wasn’t much better. Caleb followed the others down the stairs, knowing they needed to get the railing up sooner rather than later. The issue was, with so much to do, things on the schedule kept getting bumped around. However, as he angled between her and the drop, he vowed that tomorrow they would find a way to at least get started on it.

“So, what do you think?” Derek asked when they were all at the bottom.

Rachel was still sniffing just enough to tell Caleb she was a far cry from stable and all right. He worried about her, probably more than he should. They had spent enough time together over the previous weeks for him to get to know some of her story—tragedy after tragedy, enough to take the knees out from under a mere mortal. The last thing he wanted to do now was to add to the load she was already carrying.

“It’s beautiful, really,” Rachel said with another small but audible sniff. “I mean, already, it is. I can’t wait to see the cabinets and the tub…” She smiled though the tears were right there on the surface. “Honestly, it’s a dream come true.”

Derek smiled at her in that way that Caleb knew he was pleased with the work and with her reaction to it. “That’s what we aim to do, make dreams come true.”

“Well.” Rachel looked down at her little girl. “I’d better get these two home. Mom will be wondering where we are.”

With only a bit of a conversation to let them know he would help her to the car, Caleb followed her out, and when the door banged behind them, finally they were alone. What he wanted to do was to sweep her off her feet and carry her off into the sunset. What he did instead was dive into the details.

“We’re going to be picking out paint color for the outside tomorrow if you want to swing by—either before school or after.” He was still carrying Rhett who strangely felt made to fit right there in the crook of his arm.

“Oh, gosh. Paint color? I don’t know how good I’ll be with that.” At the car, she put Natalie in the back and secured her into the car seat.

“I don’t know that you have to choose it so much as I’d like your opinion. I mean, it is your home we’re talking about here. I’d like it if you don’t absolutely hate it.” He followed her around the beat-up beige-gold sedan and handed her Rhett on the other side.

“I doubt I’ll hate it. You haven’t let me down so far.”

With the child gone from his arms, Caleb put his hands on his hips and watched her. Slight build. Lithe and graceful. He loved everything about her. “So far?” he asked with a teasing quirk of his eyebrow. “You’re expecting that to happen?”

Both children secured, she came out of the car, straightened, and brushed the hair out of her face that didn’t quite come all the way with her. “No, I didn’t mean…”

But Caleb just laughed and crossed his arms. That was the safer bet when she was around. For some unknown reason his arms had this crazy desire to pull her into them and hold her there forever, but he knew she wasn’t ready for that. If she was ready for anything. He still wasn’t convinced that her whole family getting sick all at the same time wasn’t a ruse to have an excuse to let him down easy over the whole date thing. He hoped it wasn’t, but that nagging thought wouldn’t leave him alone. “I know you didn’t.”

His gaze dropped from hers to the back seat. “You’d better get these two on home. I’m sure supper and baths are sounding really good to both of them about now.”

She smiled, and as always, he saw flecks of the latent sadness in her eyes. “And to me too.” Holding her hands out to the sides, she looked down at herself. “I think I’m covered in paste and crayon.”

Caleb laughed and stepped forward to open her door.

However, before getting in, Rachel stopped. “Uh, are you… coming over… to Mom’s tonight?”

Oh, how he wanted to say yes with every fiber of his being, but he knew what the answer needed to be. “Probably not. I’m sure Luke and I will be working late on Ms. P’s, but maybe I can take a rain check?”

Knowing slid into her eyes as she nodded. “Okay. A rain check it is then.”

Coming November 2016!

PREORDER TODAY

Also Available from Staci Stallings

Kindle and Audiobook Editions

(click the links to read more about the books)

The Courage Series

To Protect & Serve {Kindle} {Audiobook}  She’s a control freak. He’s a firefighter with a death wish. Watch the sparks fly when these two get together.

White Knight  {Kindle} {Audiobook} The one he couldn’t save was the love of her life. How can he ever make that terrible failure right again?

For Real {Kindle} {Audiobook} She’s got issues. He’s got secrets. Can they ever learn to be “for real”?

The Friendship Series

Eternity Aaron never noticed Harmony until now. Now, it might be too late.

The Easy Way Out Drew thought he knew what love was, maybe he was wrong.

The Harmony Series

Cowboy One night Ashton Raines walked away from everything.

Lucky One man. One woman. One night that changes everything.

The Faith Series

A Work In Progress Rebecca hated “the beautiful people” until she fell for one. Now what?

A Little Piece of Heaven Emily loves God. Jeremy doesn’t believe in Him. How will this ever work?

A Light in the Darkness One night, he becomes her angel in the darkness.

The Dreams Series

Dreams by Starlight Sometimes where you are is not where you are meant to be.

Reunion 10 years later. Everything has changed. Or has it?

Single Titles

Deep in the Heart {Kindle} {Audiobook} He’s worth billions. She’s penniless. What do they have in common? Everything.
More Than This He was only looking for a cup of coffee and a quiet place to write. She helped him find himself.

Coming Undone {Kindle} {Audiobook} Ben was footloose and fancy-free until he got the call that changed his everything.

The Long Way Home Jaxton is about to learn what is really important in life, and it’s not what he thought.

If You Believed in Love He’s given up on love, but love won’t give up on him.

The Price of Silence Who can you trust when the unseen eyes are watching your every move?

Princess She hated basketball—and him. Could Heather have been wrong about everything?

Whisper If You Have To She’s got secrets. So does he.  Can they learn to be honest together?

Living in the Light Bible Studies

Theirs is the Kingdom Who is your Source? Why does it matter? Meditations on the first Beatitude.

The Two Trees In the Garden of Eden there were two trees, and those trees still present a choice for us today.

The Gifts of the Holy Spirit Seven gifts that can change your life.

Non-fiction

Something’s Not Right One family’s journey through dyslexia.

Reflections on Life 52 real life stories about struggles and victories in this life.

Reflections on Life II 83 new real life stories that challenge us all to reach for the life God truly wants for us.

Reflections on Life III Trials and pain… through it all God is there. Real life stories from the “territory.”

True Power & Real Peace How do you find True Power & Real Peace?

In Print

(click the links to read more about the books)

Eternity

Cowboy

Lucky

Deep in the Heart

Dreams by Starlight

Reunion

Reflections On Life I

Reflections On Life II

Coming Undone

To Protect & Serve

White Knight

For Real

Visit
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for more about each available title

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About the Author

A stay-at-home mom with a husband, three kids and a writing addiction on the side, Staci Stallings has numerous titles for readers to choose from. Not content to stay in one genre and write it to death, Staci’s stories run the gamut from young adult to adult, from motivational and inspirational to full-out Christian and back again. Every title is a new adventure! That’s what keeps Staci writing and you reading. Although she lives in Amarillo, Texas and her main career right now is her family, Staci touches the lives of people across the globe with her various Internet and writing endeavors.

You can catch up or keep up with all of Staci’s work at:

http://www.stacistallings.net

For more information on

Staci’s Romance Novels

Free first chapters, excerpts, etc.

http://ebookromancestories.com

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