Westward Skies (Orphan Train Romance Series, Book 7)
Author: Matthews, Zoe
Date: 2015-07-14

WESTWARD SKIES

(Orphan Train Romance Series, Book 7)

Written by Zoe Matthews

Copyright © 2014

All Rights Reserved

No part of this publication may be copied, reproduced in any format, by any means, electronic or otherwise, without prior consent from the copyright owner and publisher of this book.

This is a work of fiction.  All characters, names, places and events are the product of the author's imagination or used fictitiously.

_________________________________________

Orphan Train Romance Book Series

By Zoe Matthews

These are multiple western romance series about a group of orphans who live in a New York orphanage.  They are given an opportunity to travel on an Orphan Train to a small town in Texas to be placed with families so they can have a new life.  Some books are about the parents that adopt them, and some are about the orphans themselves.

An Unexpected Family, Book 1

The Promise of a Family, Book 2

Big Spring Ranch:  Anna, Book 3

Big Spring Ranch:  Serena, Book 4

Big Spring Ranch:  Katrina, Book 5

Orphan Train Romance Series, Books 1 through 5

Westward Promises, Book 6

Westward Skies, Book 7

The Sorcerer’s of Xoralia Series

By Zoe Matthews

These are a fantasy novella series, a series that follows a young Irish girl, Kiara, and her newly chosen life with a kind and handsome sorcerer, along with her family and friends as they try to save her village from an evil sorcerer.  Along the way she learns about her gifts and powers she was born with and she also learns who she was born to become.

The Call, Book 1

The Castle, Book 2

The World Within A World, Book 3

The Eternals, Book 4

The Battle:  Book 5

The Sorcerers of Xoralia, Books 1 through 5

Majestic Mountain Ranch Romance Series

Introducing a six-part western romance series about six siblings who work together to turn their family cattle ranch deep in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado into a dude ranch. They are each given a job to do, and along the way, they each find love and romance.

Colorado Dreams, Book 1

Colorado Secrets, Book 2

Table of Contents

Preface

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

About the Author

Other Books by Zoe Matthews

This is the seventh book of the Orphan Train Romance Series.

If you would like to read the rest of the series, please go to
www.zoematthewsromances.com
for more information and to sign up for a free book.

Chapter 1

Lizzie felt very excited and very nervous.  In about fifteen minutes, she would be welcoming her first group of students to the Pine Valley School.  This would be her first time teaching after earning her certificate and she hoped she would be able to be a good teacher to the children who would be coming.  Pine Valley was a small rural school, so she should only have about twenty children between the ages of six and fourteen.  Any children who wanted to further their education went to a high school in a city nearby.

She stood in the doorway of the small red schoolhouse and watched as a few children started to arrive.  Some of them walked from the nearby houses in town and some of them rode their own horse.  The grass that was growing around the schoolhouse had been cut down and as the children arrived, they all started to play.  Most of the children knew each other and they all seemed happy to be back with their friends, after summer vacation.

Lizzie watched as another horse trotted into the school yard.  It was a man who had a child riding behind him. The man stopped the horse close to the school stairs and waited as the child swung himself to the ground.  He wore overalls and a plaid shirt.  He had on a cowboy hat that was a little bit too big for him.  The boy needed a haircut and had a mess of dark brown curls that only a girl would covet.

Lizzie expected the boy’s father to leave as soon as the child landed on the ground, but he hesitated and watched his child run and join a group of boys nearby that were throwing a red ball to each other.  He then turned his eyes to look at her, and she quickly walked down the stairs to introduce herself.

“Hello, I’m Miss Elizabeth Carter, the new school teacher.”  She held out her hand for him to shake when he got off his horse.

He took her offered hand in a well-callused grasp.  “Austin Perry.”

She instantly felt a tingle when her hand touched his which puzzled her.  She removed her hand from his and wiped it on her skirt.  “It’s nice to meet you and your…” she waved her hand at his child who had caught the ball and threw it to the next boy.

“That’s Jess.”

“How old is Jess?” she asked.

“Nine.”

Lizzie watched as Mr. Perry looked at his son with concern very evident on his face.  She studied him as he watched Jess jump up high in the air and catch the ball again and he smiled with pride.  He was a handsome man who also needed a haircut, although he didn’t have the curls Jess had.  He did have the same color of hair.  He looked back at Lizzie with the same challenge in his eyes that the group of men had given her when she interviewed for this job a few weeks ago.  She lifted her chin and met his gaze without blinking, letting him know that she wouldn’t allow him to intimidate her.

“Jess sometimes needs… what I mean is…” He took a deep breath and rubbed his hand over his eyes.  “Jess’s mother is dead.”

Lizzie’s heart swelled with sympathy.  She could tell that he greatly cared for his child.  She wanted to tell him how much she admired him. “Please know that I will treat Jess well here.”  It was important to her that all the children received all the help they might need from her.

Mr. Perry touched his hand to his hat and swung on his horse.  “Good to know.  I’ll be by to pick up Jess when school is over.”

Lizzie watched as he urged his horse into a gallop as he left the school yard.  She briefly wondered how far away Jess lived from the schoolhouse, but then put it out of her mind and looked at the boys playing.  Did Jess know how lucky he was that he had a father that cared about him?  But then he was a boy, not a girl.  She guessed maybe it was different for a widowed father to raise a motherless boy rather than a motherless girl.

Lizzie shook her head to clear her thoughts from her past and walked up the steps to ring the school bell.  It was just a small hand-held bell, but it rang loud and clear, and very quickly all the children ran to the doorway.

“Please line up in two lines, girls on one side and boys on the other,” she requested them and soon there was a line of twelve boys and eight girls.  As she counted noses, she noticed that Jess had lined up with the girls.

“Jess, the boys are over here.”  Some of the children giggled and Jess gave her a hurt look.

One of the girls standing near her tugged on her skirt. When Lizzie bent down to her, she whispered, “Jess is a girl. She dresses like a boy because her pa doesn’t know how to raise a girl.  Her name is Jessica Perry.”

Lizzie was shocked that she had mistaken Jess as a boy, although as she looked at her, she realized that she did look like one, with her overalls, plaid shirt and cowboy hat.  She could feel the anger that started to spring up in her chest and she had to force it back down. Now wasn’t the time to deal with her past, but she knew what it felt like to have your father wish you were a boy.  How ironic something would happen that would remind her of her past in Pine Valley of all places.

“Jessica, you have a beautiful name.  I am sorry for my mistake.”  Jessica scowled at Lizzie as she ducked her head so Lizzie had a hard time seeing her face under the large cowboy hat.  She carefully removed the hat and tilted the child’s head so she could look in her eyes.  With the cowboy hat gone, the black curls fell down to the middle of her back.  “You have beautiful hair.”

Jessica’s scowl turned to a smile and Lizzie could tell that she had said the right thing.  That smile went straight to her heart.  In just this short period of time, she knew she had made the right decision to move to Pine Valley, even though she missed her younger sister, Debbie, desperately.  They had been placed in a home in Maple Grove, Texas after traveling on an orphan train when she was ten years old.  Two spinsters who owned and operated a boarding house had taken them both in.  Miss Sarah and Miss Sally had been good to them and had given them many opportunities that they wouldn’t have had if she and Deborah had stayed in the orphanage their father had dropped them off at in New York.

She had loved the teacher who taught in Maple Grove, and when she was twelve years old, she had made up her mind to be a teacher just like Miss Martin.  “The Sisters,” (that’s what she and Debbie had called Miss Sarah and Miss Sally) had wanted Lizzie and Debbie to take over the boarding house since Miss Sarah and Miss Sally were both in their sixties now and wanted to retire.  Lizzie wasn’t interested.  She wanted to be a teacher and “The Sisters” finally agreed and allowed her to get her certificate.  She wanted to be a dedicated teacher to rural children and help them find ways to challenge themselves and follow their dreams.  She wanted to provide encouragement and help to any child that needed it.

Debbie and she were good friends with Hannah Atkins, another girl who had lived with them in the New York orphanage.  She had been taken in by the town doctor.  Hannah eventually came to Pine Valley to marry Chase as a mail-order bride.  She was very happy living in Pine Valley with her new husband and was expecting her first child.  Last spring, she had written Lizzie, informing her that the town school teacher had decided to take another position in a larger city and so there was an opening in their school.  Lizzie had immediately applied.

When the schoolboard had received her application, they asked if she would be willing to come and be interviewed.  Lizzie had immediately agreed.  Hannah had written her and told her that she most likely would be hired. She had talked to the schoolboard herself about Lizzie.  She offered to have Lizzie live with them for the school year.  Her husband, Chase, had added on a few new bedrooms to their home in hopes of having a large family.  Lizzie immediately accepted.  She had left Maple Grove a few weeks ago and had been hired soon after her interview with the school board.

She missed Debbie very much, but she knew they could keep in touch through letters and she hoped that Debbie might want to come and visit next summer.

Right now, it looked like she found the first child who needed her, Jessica Perry.  Just like Miss Martin had reached out to her and helped her discover what her dreams were, she could do the same for Jessica.

Lizzie welcomed all the children and instructed them to go inside the building.  She helped them each choose a desk according to their age and grade, with the younger children in the front and older children in the back.  She spent the morning meeting with each child to determine where he or she was academically.  After she dismissed her class for the hour lunch break, she called one of the older students aside.

“Helen, could you give some of these hair ribbons to Jessica?  Maybe she will let you brush out her hair and tie it back with the ribbons.  You could also give out the rest of the ribbons to the other girls, if they would like some.”  She handed the girl a handful of brightly colored ribbons and a hair brush.  Helen nodded, looking pleased that Lizzie had asked her for her help.

Lizzie was glad she had thought to stop off at the general store to pick up some last minute supplies for the school the day before.  The store owner had been having a sale on ribbons and notions for sewing and Lizzie couldn’t resist purchasing some of the ribbon.  She had forgotten to take the ribbon home after dropping off the school supplies she had purchased, and now she was glad she had.

At the end of the lunch break, all the small girls had braids in their hair, including Jessica Perry.  Helen had enlisted her best friend to help.  At the end of the day, Jessica hung back and waited until all the other students had left before approaching her.

“Thank you for the ribbons, Miss Carter.”  The girl had removed them from her hair and held them out.

“I don’t need them.  You can keep them,” Lizzie said as she reached out and smoothed Jessica’s hair with her hand.

Jessica’s face broke out in a large smile.  “Thanks, Miss Carter.” She grabbed her books and ran out the door.

Chapter 2

Austin really didn’t need to pick up Jess from school.  She knew how to get home as she had been walking home by herself for the last year, but he admitted to himself that he wanted to see the new school teacher again.  For some reason, he couldn’t get her out of his thoughts.  Was she really as beautiful as he remembered?  He had to remind himself that being beautiful was useless out here in the mountains of Montana.

He stayed on his horse and waited as all the children ran out of the building as school ended for the day.  Jess was not among them.  After a minute, he started to feel concerned until finally Jess burst through the door, smashing the large hat on her head as she ran.  He noticed that Miss Carter was right behind her.

She was as beautiful as he remembered.  Her blonde hair was pulled back into a bun.  He couldn’t remember what color her eyes were, but he knew they were kind.  He tried to harden his heart.  He would give her until Christmas before she decided life was a little too difficult here in the mountains and head back to where she came from.  It took a hardy woman to survive the mountain life, especially when winter hit early and lasted for almost eight months out of the year.

He didn’t glance at his daughter, but helped her swing up behind him. He touched his hand to his hat, his way of greeting Miss Carter.  He didn’t say anything, but tugged the horse’s reins to turn him around and head towards home.  As he left, he wondered why she had given him a disapproving look.

“How was your first day at school?” he asked Jess.

“It was fun.”

“Do you like your new teacher, Miss Carter?”

“Yes, Pa.  She’s real nice.”

He tried to push thoughts of Miss Carter out of his mind and think about what he wanted to get done around his farm before night fell.  But before he knew it, he was thinking about the pretty new teacher again.  Now, if they were living in a fancy city back East, maybe he’d think about courting her, but he wouldn’t think about such a foolish idea here.  He’d give her two months, he decided, instead of until Christmas.  She won’t last any longer than that.  Most likely, they would have already had their first snow storm by the end of October.

As they neared their neighboring farm, he felt Jess stiffen behind him.  A huge animal that looked more like a wolf than a dog, ran towards them, barking and snarling.

“It looks like Mr. Foster let his dog out,” he commented, trying to keep Jess calm.

Most of the time, Mr. Foster kept the dog in his barn, but sometimes he allowed the big animal to wander at will.  He stopped his horse and yelled, “Get out of here!”  He took his whip and snapped it into the air.  The whip didn’t hit the dog, but he yelped like it had and ran back to the barn.

“See how he is running away?  He is more afraid of us than we are of him,” he told Jess, hoping to set her mind at ease about the dog. He knew she was afraid of it, but he wanted her to learn to face her fears, not run from them.

“Yes, Pa.”  Her fingers were still holding onto his waist as if she were afraid if she let go, the dog would come back.

“You aren’t afraid of him, are you?” he asked Jess.

“No, Pa.”

“Good, because he is just all bark and bluff.”  When they had ridden passed the Fosters’ farm, Austin decided to divert Jess’s attention from the dog.  “Tell me more about school.”

“I think I like math the best.  Miss Carter gave me some math problems and I did them all.  She told me I am very smart.”

“Of course, you’re smart.  You’re my daughter, aren’t you?”

“Pa…,” Jess said, dragging out his name, but he could hear the smile in her voice.  “I like Miss Carter.”  Her voice was soft.

Austin didn’t like what he was hearing. He knew Jess missed having a mother, even though she didn’t have many memories of her own mother.  He hoped she wouldn’t become close to Miss Carter.  Jess was only going to be hurt when she left in two months.

“She’s very pretty.”

“Yes, she is, but is she tough?” Austin asked as he encouraged his horse to go a bit faster.  He had to help Jess face the facts.  “How many times have I told you that there isn’t any use in being pretty?”

“Yes, Pa, I know.  A person has to be strong to survive on this land.”

Austin was glad she understood what he was trying to teach her. They turned towards their property.  He loved this farm.  He would do anything to keep this place going and he would teach Jess how to handle the hard things in life.  “Why don’t you go into the house?  I need to unsaddle Cash.”

A few minutes later, he went into the house, wanting to grab a snack before heading out to finish his work in the fields.  He noticed that his daughter was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a glass of milk.  She had taken off her cowboy hat and she looked at him as if asking him if he noticed anything.

And he did notice that his daughter had her hair done up in two braids with red ribbons at each end.  For the first time, even though Jess was only nine years old, he could see hints of beauty given to her by her mother.

“Hair ribbons.  Where did you get them?” he asked her.

“Miss Carter gave them to me.  She gave some ribbons to all the girls.  Helen braided my hair.”

“Do you like your hair braided?”

Jess nodded.  “They help keep my hair out of my face.”

“I’m sorry, Jess, but tomorrow you need to give the hair ribbons back.”  His heart dropped when Jess’s face fell in disappointment.

“Do I have to?”

“How many times do I have to tell you?  You will only survive out here if you are strong.  Don’t you want to be strong?”

“Yes, Pa.”

“We are going to succeed out here, you and I.”

“Yes, Pa.”

Now put those ribbons with your school books so they don’t get dirty.  Hurry and do your chores.”

He watched as she ran out the door, her eyes telling him that she was determined to be strong, just as he was teaching her.

“Hold on, Jess,” he called out to her as he followed her.  “I have to finish the crops in the far field.  Uncle Chris is going to be coming any day now to help.  I won’t be in until dark. Will you be okay by yourself?”

“Of course, Pa,” Jess scoffed as if offended that he would ask that question.

“Good.” Austin reached out and hugged her.

“Just remember to tell me good night, even if I am already sleeping,” she reminded him.

“I won’t forget.  Remember to bang on the old tin pan if you need me.”

“I know, Pa,” she scoffed again at the daily reminder, but she smiled up at him, shading her eyes from the sunshine.

He hated leaving her for so long, but sometimes it couldn’t be helped.  He had so much to do before winter hit.  He watched as Jess walked towards the hen house to gather eggs.  He felt very blessed that he had Jess in his life.

Late that evening, after dark had covered the entire valley, he went into the house.  Jess had already gone to bed.  He shook her awake to tell her good night as promised.  She smiled at him, then snuggled back under the covers.  Her hair was still in the braids.  He pulled the covers up around her and looked around her room.

Dirty clothes were strewn on the floor.  Most likely the clothes she had worn today had been dirty before she even put them on that morning.  He knew his own room looked the same.  He just didn’t have time to do laundry.  It would have to wait until after the crops were in.  The house was a mess.  From what he could tell, Jess had eaten some bread and an apple for dinner.  He wondered if a neighboring woman would be willing to teach Jess a few things about cooking and bread baking.  After all, she was nine years old, old enough to learn a few things about keeping a house and making meals.

***

Right before school started the following day, Lizzie saw Jess and her father ride into the school yard again.  He rode right up to her and helped Jess drop to the ground.  Lizzie noticed that she still had her braids in from the day before, although the ribbons were not tied to the ends.

“Give them back to her, Jess,” he gruffly ordered his daughter.

She watched as Jessica stuck her hand into her pants pocket and pulled out the ribbons.  She held them out to Lizzie. “Here are your ribbons.  Thanks for letting me borrow them.” Jessica said the words softly and glanced at Lizzie as if hoping she would understand.

Lizzie didn’t take them from Jessica, but she did look up at her father.  “I gave them to Jessica.  I gave ribbons to all the girls yesterday. “

“Jess doesn’t need ribbons. Ribbons aren’t needed in mountain country.  Not if she wants to be strong.”

Lizzie couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  “How does ribbons in a girl’s hair make her weak?” she challenged him.

“It’s what they mean, what they represent.”

“I am not sure what you are saying,” Lizzie admitted.

“Ribbons are useless things.”

“Ribbons are pretty.  They aren’t useless.  They make someone feel beautiful, like a rainbow or a flower.”

Mr. Perry looked confused, as if trying to figure out how a rainbow could be useful.  “You can’t eat ribbons.”  He nodded to Jessica.  “Give her the ribbons, Jess, and go on and play.”

Lizzie accepted the ribbons, knowing Jessica was being put in the middle of their argument, and she didn’t want the child to be put in that uncomfortable position.  After Jessica left, she looked at Austin square in the eyes.  “Are you saying a rainbow, which is a creation from God, is useless?”

Mr. Perry looked squarely back at her. “Me and Jess, we are survivors.”  He turned his horse and galloped off towards his home.

Lizzie watched as he left, her fists clenched at her sides.  Survivors!  Is that why he treated Jessica like a boy?  She made a vow to herself she would help Jessica as much as she could while she was in her classroom.  She would do her best to teach Jessica, among all her academic subjects, that it was a joy to be a girl.

For the rest of the week, Mr. Perry brought Jessica to school and picked her up afterwards.  Every time he picked her up, he would look at Lizzie as if warning her to not interfere with the raising of his daughter.  But it only made her more determined to help Jessica any way she could.  Every morning when Lizzie said her prayers, she asked for an opening, knowing that God would provide one in His own time.

On Friday, that opening happened.  After school was over, Lizzie stayed late and cleaned the school house.  After sweeping it and wiping down the chalkboard, she gathered her things and locked the door until Monday.  When she started towards Hannah’s place, she noticed a small form sitting under a tree.  Lizzie saw that it was Jessica, with her arms wrapped around her legs as if trying to make herself as small as she could.

“Jessica, why are you still here?  Isn’t your father picking you up today?” she asked the child.

Jessica shook her head.  “Pa said I should walk home today.”

“Where do you live?”  Lizzie asked her.

“A ways past the Fosters’ farm.”

Lizzie smiled.  “Well, you are in luck.  I live at the Atkins’ farm.”

“Really?” Jessica asked curiously.

“Yes, I am friends with Hannah and Chase.”  She held out her hand. “So, since I am heading that direction, we can walk together.”

Jessica’s face split into a large grin.  They started down the dirt road.

“Are you enjoying school this year?” Lizzie asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Yes, I think I like math the best.”  Jessica had dropped Lizzie’s hand and was skipping beside her.

“You are a good worker.”

“Pa says everyone has to pull their weight and do what they can in these mountains.”

“I guess that is true in most of the places people live in,” Lizzie commented.  She wanted to know how Jessica felt about the fact that she was a girl, so Lizzie added, “It doesn’t matter whether you are a boy or a girl.  You can always do your part.”

“Pa says women have to be strong out here, that weak women won’t make it.”

Lizzie did her best to push down her disgust for the man.  Didn’t he know that women exhibited strength in different ways?  She wanted to be the one to show him that, but she knew she needed to do her best to avoid him.  He reminded her too much of her own pa.

“Tell me, why you didn’t leave to go home with the other children?” Lizzie asked the girl, changing the subject.

Jessica stopped her skipping and almost slowed to a stop.  Lizzie took the child’s hand again and squeezed it.

“It’s okay, Jessica.  You can tell me.”  She waited patiently while Jessica made up her mind.

“I don’t like to walk home,” she whispered, her chin hanging to her chest as if ashamed.

“Why?  Haven’t you done it before?”

Jessica nodded but pulled her hand out of Lizzie’s.  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I can tell something is wrong.  Why don’t you tell me what it is, and maybe I can fix it.”

“You won’t be able to do anything.”

Lizzie stayed silent and just waited.

“It’s the Fosters’ dog. He’s real mean and barks a lot,” Jessica finally admitted. She said the words very soft and Lizzie almost didn’t hear them.

“I know the Fosters,” Lizzie started to walk again and was glad when Jessica followed.  “I don’t like their dog very much either.  They live between the Atkins’ place and yours, don’t they?”

Jessica nodded but then looked at her with a strong determination in her eyes.  “I’m not afraid of him.”

Lizzie instantly made up her mind and changed her plans for the afternoon.  “I am planning on visiting all of my students at their homes.  Why don’t I come to your home today?   This would be a good time for me to visit.”

Jessica looked at Lizzie as if she was making sure Lizzie was serious. “I would like that.”

They continued to walk along the dusty road.  There was a nice breeze in the air that cooled the heat of the sun that shone down on them.  It was a very pleasant day.  Lizzie had only been in Montana for a short while, but already she was learning to love her new home.  She loved to watch the mountains nearby.  The colors on them changed according to the time of day.  Sometimes she could see individual trees.  At dusk, they looked almost purple. When it stormed, the clouds would cover the tips which made them look mysterious.

Jessica chattered while they walked.  They passed Hannah’s farm and continued down the road.  Suddenly, Jessica stopped her talking and started to walk very slowly.

“This is where the Fosters live, isn’t it?” Lizzie asked her.

Lizzie had seen the dog Jessica talked about before, but he was always tied to the barn by a rope.  The dog would lunge and bark like crazy and she knew that if he was off the rope, he would be scary if he approached her.  He was a very large dog, almost as big as Jessica.

Jessica started to walk very softly, almost as if she was tiptoeing.  “If we are very quiet, maybe he won’t know we are here,” she whispered quietly.

Lizzie followed her, making sure her body was between the child and the Fosters’ farm. Suddenly, a large black dog ran towards them, snarling and barking.  It was not tied up.  Lizzie knew Jessica had a good reason to be scared of this dog, for she felt fear jump to her throat as well.

“There he is!  He’s going to bite us!” Jessica hid behind Lizzie’s skirts.

Suddenly, Lizzie became angry. She wasn’t going to let this dog hurt Jessica or herself.  “Stop!”  She yelled, waving her hands.  “Go away!”

A whistle pierced the air.  “Buster, get back here right now!” Mr. Foster was standing on his porch yelling at the dog.  He whistled again. The dog stopped in its tracks only about six feet away from them, still growling, but then turned and ran to his owner.  Lizzie breathed a sigh of relief.  She couldn’t breathe or speak.  She did her best to not let Jessica know how frightened she was.  She needed to be strong for the child.

“Does that dog run at you every time you walk by?” she was finally able to ask, trying to keep her voice steady.

Jessica shook her head.  “Sometimes he’s tied up.”

Lizzie made up her mind to talk to Jessica’s father.  It was obvious she was very afraid of the dog.  In her opinion, no child should have to be afraid of walking home from school.  They continued walking, although Jessica was very subdued.

“There’s my farm,” Jessica said with pride in her voice, pointing to a well-kept house.

The house was larger than Lizzie had expected, although it was smaller than Hannah’s home, especially since they had just added onto their house.  She was glad to see Jessica wasn’t living in a shack or even a sod home.  As they walked closer, she could see a hen house and a fenced area that she guessed was a garden, although all she could see growing were weeds.  She noticed a fenced field with a few horses in it, with a smaller field nearby that had a couple cows.  She could tell that the farm had potential.

Seeing Jessica’s farm brought back memories of her past.  She remembered following her brother around on their farm in Ohio, and Debbie following her.  Her father’s farm was larger than this one.  She remembered as a child avoiding her father as much as possible because she knew he didn’t want her or Debbie around.  After all, they weren’t boys and couldn’t grow up to do work on the farm.  But she watched her father constantly, hoping that he would smile at her like he had before her mother died, that he would somehow say something to let her know he still loved her and Debbie, even though they were girls.  She quickly pushed away the past.  What good does it do, remembering what couldn’t be changed?

“Why don’t you show me your house?” Lizzie suggested to Jessica.  The child smiled at her, grabbed her hand and started to run, leaving Lizzie no choice but to run quickly after her.

When they entered the house, Lizzie did her best to stifle a gasp at the mess she saw before her.  The house was small in size.  The largest room seemed to be the living, kitchen, and dining area all in one.  Dirty dishes covered every space of the table and counters.  The stove had various pots and pans that were blackened with burnt food.  In the living area, clothing was draped over the sofa and floor surfaces.  She could see overalls and plaid shirts that were Jessica’s size, along with a large winter coat and dirty boots in the corner.

Lizzie wondered how they were even managing to live in such a mess.  How did they prepare meals?  At the back of the large room, she saw a small hallway that had two doors which she assumed opened into bedrooms.  Even though she couldn’t see inside the rooms, she would bet that the bedrooms were as messy as the rest of the small house.

Lizzie immediately wanted to start cleaning up the mess.  One thing that she had been taught by “The Sisters” was “cleanliness is next to Godliness.”  Their boarding house had been extremely clean at all times.  Dust was never allowed to settle longer than a few hours and a dirty dish was washed almost immediately after use.  Maybe she could show Jessica how to do a few things, especially how to cook a simple meal. She knew without asking that Jessica’s father would object if she started to clean up the mess without his permission.

“Jess,” she heard a deep voice calling from the yard outside.

“Remember, don’t tell Pa about the dog,” Jessica whispered as she grabbed Lizzie’s hand.  Lizzie didn’t say anything for she felt Austin needed to be aware of what was going on with the neighbor’s dog.

“You need to tell him, Jessica, so he can do something about it,” Lizzie told her.

“I can’t. Pa says I need to be strong. If I tell him, I won’t be strong.  Promise me you won’t tell.”

Lizzie shook her head. “I promise I won’t tell him if you promise you will.  I really think he needs to know.”

Jessica fiercely shook her head, but then slowly nodded when she could tell Lizzie wasn’t going to give in. “Okay, I’ll tell him.”

Austin came into the house almost at a run.  “Why are you so late?  Where have you been?” he asked Jessica but he looked at Lizzie as if accusing her that Jessica being late was her fault.  “Why are you here?”

“She wants to visit all the families of the children who go to school.  I get to be first,” Jessica announced proudly.

Austin looked suspicious at his daughter’s words. “That still doesn’t explain why Jess is late.”

Lizzie glanced at Jessica, but the girl refused to look at her, keeping her head down.  What was she going to do if Jessica didn’t tell her father about the dog?  She looked around the room and thought now was a good time to offer to help clean up the house, but there was a sound outside and she could hear a rider coming into the yard.

“I think Uncle Chris is here,” Austin told Jessica and the child squealed with delight and ran out the door, shouting her uncle’s name.

Lizzie wanted to follow Jessica, but for some reason she looked at Austin again.  She could see from looking at his face that he really was worried about Jessica.  She could tell he really cared about her, even though he treated her like a boy.  Would she be able to explain to him how it felt to be treated like someone you weren’t?

Lizzie heard a deep voice greet Jessica and saw a man pick her up and throw her in the air.  She could hear the child’s laughter and the joy of seeing her uncle was in her voice.

“I guess ‘Uncle Chris’s is your brother?”  Lizzie asked with a smile, hoping to let him know she wasn’t a threat to his daughter.

“Yep, my younger brother.”

“I think I’ll head back to Hannah’s house,” Lizzie started to say, but before she could start to leave, Jessica entered the house, pulling a man behind her by his hand.

The man’s eyes widened when he saw Lizzie and he quickly took off his cowboy hat. “Sorry, ma’am. I didn’t realize Austin had company.”  He grinned at Austin as if he was thinking Austin and Lizzie were courting.

“It’s about time Austin decided there is more to life than work,” the man said with amusement in his eyes.

Austin just grunted.  “Miss Carter is Jess’s new school teacher.”  He glanced at Lizzie.  “Obviously this is my brother, Chris Perry.”  He made the introductions reluctantly.

“Pleased to meet you ma’am,” Chris told her.

Lizzie nodded. “It is nice to meet you.  I’ll be on my way.  Have a good evening.”

She walked out of the house with long strides and hurried down the dusty path towards Hannah’s home.  She was angry with herself for letting Austin bring back bad memories of her past. She was walking so quickly, she knew she would have to polish her shoes when she got home because dust covered them from her quick movements.  She couldn’t stop the words.

It’s too bad you are both girls.  The words of her own father still caused pain in her heart.

“Lord”, she silently prayed.   “Please help me keep the past in the past.  Help me figure out a way to help Jessica recognize her true potential.”

Chapter 3

That evening, after she had helped Hannah with the dinner dishes, she retired early to her room to write a letter to Debbie.  She wrote about her first week teaching and gave some details about some of her students.  She gave an update on Hannah and her pregnancy.  In her last paragraph, she told her sister about Jessica.  “She reminds me of us when we lived with Pa. She doesn’t have a mother and her father encourages her to dress and act like a boy, although he doesn’t seem to be unkind to her.  I am hoping I can figure out a way to make a difference in her life and help her see what a joy it is to be a girl.  Please pray for me that I will be able to be guided to do the right thing for her.”

Writing about Austin inadvertently made her think of him and she was filled with confusion.  When she first met him, she had automatically assumed he didn’t really care about his daughter, but his actions today when he was questioning her about being late told Lizzie that he loved his daughter very much.  Lizzie just needed to figure out a way to handle the issue about the dog.  She sealed the letter and set it aside to be mailed the next day.

****

Austin watched silently as Lizzie walked quickly away.  He heard his brother, Chris, give a low whistle.  “Why aren’t you going after her?”

Austin grunted.  “She is Jess’s teacher.  That’s all there is to it.” He took a deep breath as he felt relief that Jess was home safely.  He had grown very tense as he watched from a nearby field for his daughter to arrive home and she had never shown.  Then suddenly, he saw Jess and her teacher.  Had Jess gotten hurt?  He had run across the field as fast as he could, only to learn that Miss Carter wanted to check up on them.

When he knew she had seen the awful state of his home, he felt a deep embarrassment, along with defensiveness that he was doing the best he could.  But he also felt a loneliness that he quickly shoved aside, although he had to admit as he saw her standing in his house, he had a sudden thought of what life would be like if he had someone to share the load.

He quickly mentally kicked himself at this thought.  He had learned the hard way to not expect a beautiful woman to be able to live in the mountains.  After Ivy’s death, he had promised himself, and God, that he would never ask or expect help from any woman ever again.

“She is awful pretty for a teacher,” Chris teased with his usual grin.

“I think she is pretty, too,” Jess pulled on Chris’s arm.

Austin glared at both of them.  “Pretty does not get things done.”  He strode outside, hoping Chris will drop the subject, but of course he didn’t.  His brother just followed him.

“Pretty is also nice to have around when a man returns from the fields tired and hungry, who has a good meal waiting, and a clean house.”

Austin instantly dismissed Chris’s reminder of what he is missing.  “I don’t see you courting a woman and bringing her to your home.”

Chris instantly sobered.  “Actually, I have met someone.  Her name is Jenny.  I figure as soon as I get my barn up, I am going to ask her to marry me.”

Austin looked at his brother with interest.  “We can do that as soon as my fields are in.”  He wanted to ask Chris if he was sure he really wanted to get married, but he also knew his brother wouldn’t listen to his counsel.

“What I want to know is why Miss Carter came to visit,” Chris said, changing the subject back to the school teacher.

“She said she feels she needs to visit all of her students’ families.”  Austin stomped toward the field that he had been working in before Jess had returned home.  “Jess, go do your chores.”

“Okay, Pa,” Jess smiled and skipped towards the barn.

Chris quickly caught up with him.  “Since school has only been in session for a week, how many other homes has Miss Carter visited?”

“My guess is we’re the first,” Austin said dryly.

“I think it is interesting she chose to visit Jess’s family first.”

“It doesn’t mean anything.” Austin stopped walking, almost forcing Chris to run into him.  “I’m not interested in the school teacher.  Do you really think she is the type to be able to handle the mountain life?”

“I doubt anyone forced her to come here,” Chris shrugged.

“And I bet she will be gone by Christmas,” Austin predicted.

Chris sighed. “Not everyone is like Ivy.  It’s not fair to lump all pretty women into what Ivy was like.  Jenny isn’t like Ivy.”

“How do you know for sure?”

“For one thing, Jenny grew up in the mountains.”

Austin sighed, took his cowboy hat off and ran his hand through his hair, and then put it back firmly in place.  “I need to get my fields harvested. Are you going to help me?”

Chris looked like he was going to continue to argue, but then backed off.  “That’s why I’m here.  Let’s see how much we can get done before dark.”

They worked hard all the next day, which was Saturday, and with Chris helping, Austin got quite a bit done.  On Sunday, Chris took Jess to church while Austin continued to work on the harvest.  Over the next two days, Jess was able to finagle a ride to and from school from Chris.  Austin hated interrupting his work day to take and pick Jess up, and he knew Chris would do anything for his niece.  But he wondered why Jess wanted a ride so badly. Was she just wanting her uncle’s attention or was something else going on?  Did Miss Carter say something to make Jess think she needed a ride to and from school every day?

On Wednesday, he decided to do something about it.  “Jess, you will need to get yourself to school and back home today.”

“All right, Pa,” Jess said as she skipped off toward the schoolhouse.  She didn’t seem at all upset at going off by herself.

By the end of the week, they finally finished the last of his crops. The hard work kept him from thinking about Lizzie.

“We should be able to work on your barn now,” Austin told his brother.  “That is, if you are serious about marrying this Jenny girl.”

“Yep, I sure am,” Chris told him.  “She knows about the cold winters and has made quite a few quilts.”

Austin could picture them sharing the cold winter months together.  He glanced at his own house a distance away.  Chris followed his gaze.

You know, I have been able to speak to Miss Carter a bit when I was taking Jess to and from school.  She seems like a fine woman.  She does a good job handling all those children.  I think you should give her a chance, get to know her.”

Austin didn’t say anything, but walked away towards the barn to start the evening chores.  That night they had another meal of opening up cans and heating up the contents.  He found three plates and gave them a quick cleaning while Jess did her best to clear a spot on the table so that they had space to eat their meal. Chris hadn’t complained about the meals Austin had offered him the entire week, but he knew his brother had to be tired of canned food. He sure was.

“I will be out to your place as soon as I can make arrangements for Jess while I’m gone,” Austin told his brother.

“Why can’t I go with you?” Jess whined.

“Because I will be gone a few weeks and you can’t miss so much school,” Austin explained.

Jess opened her mouth to argue, but then her face lit up.  “What if Miss Carter came and stayed with me?  I could walk with her to school and come home when she does.”

“No!” the word exploded from Austin’s mouth.  “I don’t think that is a good idea,” he added, trying to soften his words when Jess’s face fell in disappointment.  He didn’t want to picture Lizzie in his home, making meals at his stove, sweeping his floor.

“Why not?” she questioned.  “She doesn’t have anything else to do besides teach, like chores or a family.”

“No,” he said again.  “I’ll figure something else out.”

Chris chuckled as he swallowed a spoonful of canned stew.  “I think you are overreacting. I think you are interested in her, you just don’t want to admit it.”

“I don’t think so,” Austin denied Chris’s teasing words.

“Then it shouldn’t be a problem to ask her.”

“Please, Pa.” Jess chimed in her two cents and Austin knew he was going to give in when he saw the hope in his daughter’s eyes.

“All right.  I will ask her, but I don’t think she will agree.”

****

Lizzie had been glad to see Jessica’s uncle bring her to and from school, but that only lasted two days.  When Lizzie saw that Jessica was walking on her own, she had asked Jessica about the neighbor dog.  The girl had told her that its owners had been keeping the dog tied up near their barn.

“Did you tell your pa about what happened with the dog last week?” she asked Jessica.

“I don’t need to because they tied him up.”

“What if they forget to tie him up?” Lizzie tried to point out to her that the dog had been loose before.

Jessica had shrugged.  “I don’t think they will.”  Lizzie had to be content with that, but it didn’t stop her from looking down the road in the mornings in concern, until she saw the girl coming towards the schoolhouse skipping along the dusty road, swinging her lunch pail at her side.

She did her best to not feel disappointed that Austin hadn’t brought his daughter to school.  She had to remind herself that he was too much like her own father.  She forced herself to ignore the unfamiliar response she felt when she saw Austin, or even thought about him for that matter.

One evening, she sat on her bed in Hannah’s house to read a letter she had received from her sister.  She missed Debbie very much and was glad for the contact she had with her.  Debbie told of different events that were happening in the boarding house.  One of the men who had been staying there for a few years decided to marry and had left.  The sisters were trying to decide if they should take in another boarder to replace him.  Miss Sarah, the eldest of the two, was starting to have a lot of problems with arthritis and was wanting to stop taking in so many people.  Nothing was said about Lizzie’s last letter she had written about Jessica and her father, so she knew Debbie hadn’t received it yet when she had written this letter.

On Friday morning before school, Jessica arrived with her father.  When they reached the school yard, Jessica immediately jumped down and ran over to her with excitement.

“Pa wants to talk to you,” she announced breathlessly.

Lizzie did her best to look calm even though she was feeling nervous to speak with Austin, a man who was inadvertently affecting her heart.  She walked across the school yard as calmly as she could.

“Jessica told me you wanted to speak to me.” She was proud of herself for how she kept her voice calm even though she was trembling inside.

Austin glanced at Lizzie and then at his daughter as she kicked a ball with some other children.  “I have to go to Chris’s farm and help him with his harvest.  I’ll be gone for about a week or so.”

“You must have finished yours, then.”  She wondered what his going to his brother’s farm had to do with her.

“Jess can’t go with me.”

“That’s probably not a good idea. She would miss too much school,” Lizzie agreed.  She watched as Austin looked at his daughter again.

“I was wondering if you would be willing to stay with her, until I return,” he said as quickly as he could.  During this entire conversation, Austin hadn’t looked directly at her until now.  Lizzie tried to not feel too excited.  Did he really want her to stay with Jessica while he was gone?  This must be an answer to her prayers for Jessica, that Lizzie could make a difference in the child’s life.

“Like I said, I would only be gone for about a week, maybe part of the next.”

“I’ll stay with her, but on one condition.”

Austin looked at her as if he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear her condition. “What is it?”

“I want to ask if you’d let me teach her some skills, like cleaning, cooking, and sewing.”

“She doesn’t need to learn stuff like that.  We do fine.”

“From the little I saw, you aren’t doing fine.  Jessica is old enough to learn a few basics.”

Lizzie was afraid Austin would turn his horse around and leave, but she held her ground.  He finally nodded.

“Just as long as you don’t turn her into a weak female.”

Lizzie smiled even though his words felt like a dart into her heart.  “Being a female doesn’t mean we are weak.”  She thought of her father and how she had done her best to prove that very thing to him, that she and Debbie weren’t weak, but he had sent them away anyway.  She pushed her past aside.  This wasn’t about her but about Jessica.

Austin actually smiled at her quick words.  “I will be leaving next Monday.  I will bring her by in the morning to school and leave after that.  Thank you for taking care of her.”  He waved his arm at Jessica who immediately ran over to her pa.  She must have been carefully watching the conversation he was having with Lizzie, even though it looked like she had been playing.

“Is she going to do it?” Jessica asked breathlessly.

Austin nodded and Lizzie left them so they could say goodbye, although she heard his parting words.  “Just don’t expect her to stay when things get hard here in the mountains.”

Lizzie smiled again, this time to herself.  She knew she would need to prove herself to him, that she wouldn’t turn tail and run at the first sign of hardship.  He didn’t know the things she had had to face in her past.  He didn’t know how strong she really was.

Chapter 4

On Monday after school had ended, Lizzie walked with Jessica to her house, preparing to stay at least a week.  Over the next few days, Lizzie found plenty to do in Austin’s small house.  She made sure she kept Jessica beside her, hoping to teach her the basic skills any young girl should know.  She first tackled the dishes.  This was a standard skill that was one of the first learned among young children, but in Austin’s house, it seemed it was only done under duress.  As she taught Jessica how to scrape the plates, she caught a glimpse of what they ate and from what she could tell it was a pretty standard affair, most of it from canned food.  How in the world had they survived?

When Jessica told her that they didn’t need to wash all the dishes, just the ones they needed for the next meal, Lizzie smiled.  “That sounds like something your father would say.”

“Sure,” Jessica looked a little confused.  “There’s no need to waste time on needless chores.”

Lizzie tried to think of the best way to teach Jessica a new thought about washing dishes. “Does your pa clean out your barn every day?”

“Yes.  He says it’s easier to move a small amount of manure than a lot,” Jessica said as she nodded her head.

“It’s the same with dishes.  We will wash all of them and put them away in the cupboards, and then we will wash the ones we use, after every meal.  Then, when you need to use a dish, it will be all ready for use.”

Lizzie taught her how to scrape, soak, and scrub all the dishes and pans.  While Jessica was drying each dish, Lizzie quickly wiped down the cupboards.  They then tackled the table.

“I will teach you how to blacken the stove tomorrow,” Lizzie promised Jessica.  “If you take care of your stove, it will take care of you.”

“Pa won’t recognize the house when he gets back,” Jessica giggled.

As they cleaned the kitchen, Lizzie was glad that Jessica enjoyed working with her.  She seemed interested in learning these new skills.  When Lizzie tackled the floor, she found beautiful wooden planks, sanded smooth and polished.  She could tell Austin had done his best to make a beautiful home and his craftsmanship showed everywhere.  She thought it strange that he allowed it to get as bad as it was.  He obviously had prided himself on a nice home at one time.

As she taught Jessica how to wash the glass windows until they sparkled, she also wondered what had happened to make him change.  Most likely, it was the death of his wife, of Jessica’s mother.  He must have loved her desperately.

On Friday after school, as she followed Jessica into the now clean house, she felt a sensation sweep over her while tears formed in her eyes.  She didn’t know why, but the house now felt like home.  Probably because she had worked so hard to get it cleaned.  She had never had a home of her own.  She had always considered the house she had lived in with her father, sister, and brother as her pa’s only.  Then there was the orphanage, and of course everything there was shared with everyone else.  “The Sisters” had a nice home, but it was a boarding house, and it never felt like it was hers.  And now she was living with Hannah and her family.  Would she ever have her own home, her own family?

She pushed her thoughts out of her head, again, and hung her light coat on a peg. She noticed Austin’s coat that hung nearby.  She could smell the scents that announced he was a farmer. She again thought of her older brother and how she would follow him around their farm when she was a girl, trying her hardest to be of help even though she was young.  She turned and marched into the kitchen with Jessica following, chatting as they went.

“Now that school is out for the week, we will clean your bedroom,” Lizzie told her.  “Tomorrow, we will wash all the clothes.”

“Okay,” Jessica agreed with her usual excitement.  “I should gather the eggs first, and then milk the cow.  Pa says I’m the best milker, even better than him.”

Lizzie watched as Jessica grabbed the milk bucket and ran out the door towards the old barn.  She looked towards Austin’s old coat hanging next to her own.  Why did he act as if Lizzie couldn’t be counted on, like he knew she would want to leave soon, like he thought she would want to leave?  Why was he teaching his daughter that she had to be tough?  And the most important question of all, what had happened to his wife?

She had almost asked Jessica about her mother once, but something stopped her at the last second.  She didn’t feel it was right to pump a child for information that she really should be getting from her father.

When Jessica returned, Lizzie led the way to the child’s bedroom.  “Remember what I teach at school?  That you can only be efficient if your surroundings are neat?  A bedroom is the same way.  If you keep it clean, you won’t waste time trying to find important items.”

They started on the small bureau.  Lizzie showed Jessica how to clean out and organize each drawer.  Most of the drawers were empty because they were obviously meant to hold clothing and most of that was scattered around on the floor.  The bottom drawer had a collection of various rocks, feathers, and other things Jessica had obviously gathered from outside and had deemed beautiful or important.  She squealed with delight when she found a small pocketknife.

“Pa gave this to me last Christmas,” Jessica cupped the small knife in both of her hands as if it was precious.  “I didn’t know what happened to it.”

Lizzie helped her find a place for the knife so it wouldn’t be lost again.  In the bottom of the drawer was a picture frame.  When she lifted it out, she found a picture of a beautiful woman in the frame.

“Is this your mother?” Lizzie asked Jessica as she showed her the black and white photograph.

Jessica nodded and quickly grabbed the picture frame from Lizzie.  They were both sitting on the wood floor and Jessica laid the frame in her lap.

“You look just like her.  She is very beautiful,” Lizzie said.

Jessica looked up at her with an almost fierce gaze. “Don’t tell Pa I have it.  He told me he wants me to forget her.”

Lizzie did her best to not let the shock she felt show on her face.  Didn’t he know that it hurt to forget one’s mother?  “Why would he want you to forget her?”

“He says she was weak.  She married him back east and came to Montana with him. She was supposed to help him, but she just laid down and quit living.  She missed her easy life in the large city she was from.  She came from a rich family.”

What Jessica told her explained so much.  Lizzie watched as Jessica tucked the picture back under a bunch of bird feathers until it was completely hidden.

“I don’t want to disobey Pa, but I also don’t want to forget my Ma.”

Lizzie laid a hand on Jessica’s arm. “I won’t tell your pa you have the picture.”

They continued to clean the room.  Lizzie had Jessica gather up all the dirty clothes and carry them into the living area and put them in a pile to be washed the next day.  She decided to strip Jessica’s bed the next day and wash the bedclothes.  While they worked, she thought of her talk with Jessica. Lizzie understood her need for a mother.  She had very few memories of her own mother, but she missed her very much.  But a child also needs a father.  All she had desired was recognition and love from her own father.  She was starting to understand that even though Austin was teaching Jessica to be tough, he did love her, and she was very blessed to have her father’s love.

Lizzie decided to voice her thoughts. “You might not have your mother, but you do have your father.  He cares about you.”

Jessica giggled.  “I know he loves me. He tells me all the time.”

Lizzie’s eyes started to water and she had to quickly blink the tears away before Jessica saw. Austin hid his tenderness under his toughness, but this touched her, and she started to wish for something she wasn’t even sure she recognized.

She saw Jessica pick up a pretty light green calico dress.  “That dress looks new.”

“It is.  My grandma sent it to me for my birthday.”

“Why don’t you wear it?” Lizzie asked.  All the other clothing Jessica had been picking up looked worn and dirty, but this dress looked brand new, as if it hadn’t been worn.

“I’m afraid I’ll get it dirty.  Pa says dresses shouldn’t be worn on a farm.  They would only stop me from doing a good job doing chores.”

“If it gets dirty, you can wash it,” Lizzie told her.

Jessica shrugged.  “Overalls are better for doing chores.”

Lizzie dropped the subject, but helped Jessica hang up the dress to keep it nice. An idea started to form in her mind.  She had plans for that dress.  She wanted to show Jessica that although it was fine to dress in overalls, especially since she lived on a farm.  It was also sometimes nice to dress like a girl, to act like a girl, to be what God had intended her to be.

The next day, Lizzie got up very early.  She knew it was going to take all day to wash all the laundry.  Jessica was a great help and they finally hung the last pair of Austin’s pants on the line in the late afternoon.  They had stopped briefly at noon and Lizzie showed Jessica how to make a simple stew that simmered on the newly blackened stove all afternoon.

Lizzie had also taught Jessica how to make biscuits a few days prior, and she made a batch all by herself.

“These taste great,” Lizzie praised her. She could tell Jessica was pleased with all of the new skills she had learned that week.  “They taste like you have made biscuits your whole life.”

“I can’t wait to surprise Pa when he comes home.” Jessica giggled as she took a bite of a biscuit.  “He’ll think he has died and gone to heaven.  That’s what he says when I learn something new.  He’s died and gone to heaven.”

“Maybe we can plan a meal that you can cook all by yourself when he gets back, what do you think?” Lizzie suggested.

“Yes, let’s do,” Jessica agreed, clapping her hands. “I want to do it all by myself.  You can just tell me what to do, if I need help.”

The next morning, Lizzie put her plan in place about the dress. “Today is Sunday.  I always attend church.  I’d like to take you.”

Jessica’s eyes brightened.  “Really?  Can I come with you?  I like to go to church.  Pa doesn’t take me much.”

Lizzie didn’t bother asking why Austin didn’t take Jessica to church even though she obviously wanted to attend.  She knew some people had a hard time accepting God’s plan with their lives, especially when there was a death.

“Let’s put on our dresses.  You can wear the one your grandmother gave you,” Lizzie suggested.

Jessica shook her head.  “Pa says God doesn’t care if we dress up or not, just to impress Him.”

Lizzie laughed, trying to keep things light.  “That is true, of course, but I think if we put on our best clothes for church, we are showing God that we respect Him.”

“I guess so,” Jessica shrugged.

“Let’s put on our dresses.”

Jessica obeyed her, but it was obvious she was reluctant.  Lizzie quickly put on her own Sunday dress and pulled her hair into a bun.  She then helped Jessica with her hair.  The child had natural curly hair and Lizzie showed her how to arrange it into a cute style that curled around her face.

By the time they were ready to leave for church, Jessica was showing some excitement with the idea of dressing and acting like a girl.

“You look very pretty,” Lizzie told her as they walked towards the church in town.  Jessica smiled at her, but she stiffened a bit at Lizzie’s words, and she knew it was because of what Austin wanted her to believe, that being pretty is useless in these harsh mountains.  Lizzie wished she could help her see that a girl, as well as a woman, could be pretty, and still be able to handle the challenges life brings, especially in the mountains of Montana.

Chapter 5

As Lizzie and Jessica left the schoolhouse Monday afternoon, Jessica said, “Pa should be home tomorrow.”

“How do you know?” Lizzie was surprised at Jessica’s words.  She remembered that Austin had told her he would be gone a week or a week and a half.

“It hasn’t rained.  Pa said he would be back after a week of good weather.  That means tomorrow. Pa is never gone any longer than he has to be.”

“Well, I guess we better plan your surprise then, shouldn’t we?”  Lizzie asked.

For the rest of the walk to Jessica’s house, they talked about what Jessica could fix.  While they were hanging laundry on Saturday, Lizzie remembered the remnants of a garden that had been planted and then forgotten.  She investigated and found a few potatoes and carrots that could be dug up and used.  Even though Austin had kept a messy house, he had kept his pantry well stocked.  Lizzie had taught Jessica how to make a few easy meals, along with the biscuits and canned fruit cobbler for desserts.

Between the two of them, they decided on roast beef with the carrots and potatoes from the garden, along with biscuits and peach cobbler for dessert.

“Let’s pick up some fresh beef from the general store tomorrow,” Lizzie suggested.   “I will teach you how to use fresh meat instead of canned.”

As they made their plans, Lizzie had to remind herself that she wasn’t part of this family.  When Austin came back tomorrow, he was coming back for his daughter, not her.  Over the last week, Lizzie had learned to love Jessica, but she knew that the child would never be hers.  Austin had very definite ideas of her staying as the school teacher and he didn’t trust her.  From what Jessica had told her of her mother, Lizzie knew Austin may never be able to trust another woman.

She knew that after Austin arrived home, she would need to leave and allow them to enjoy the meal Jessica prepared by themselves.  She told herself she should be glad to be back in her own room at Hannah’s.  Her life would be back to normal.

****

Austin rode his horse into his yard. It was good to be home. As he passed his house, he could see a glimpse of Jess and Lizzie in the kitchen.  He wanted to jump off of his horse and see Jess immediately.  He had missed her, but he had not worried about her while he was gone.  He knew she had been safe and cared for by Lizzie. But he knew if he went into the house to see Jess, he would also see Lizzie, and he wasn’t sure he was quite ready for that.

He turned away and rode his horse to the barn.  He unsaddled Cash and took his time to make sure the horse had been rubbed down properly and fed.  Cash had worked almost as hard as Austin had in the last week and he deserved a rest.  He could see that the cow had been cared for and so had the chickens.  Jess had done her part.

He finally ran out of excuses and knew it was time to go and greet Jess.  And Lizzie.  He had done his best to ignore what his heart had been telling him all week.  It hadn’t helped that Chris kept talking about the pretty school teacher. But even when he had been working alone, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Lizzie.

He figured she would be glad he was back so she could go back to her easy life with the Atkins.  She probably had had enough of hard work by now.  He didn’t expect anything different.

He resisted the urge to look over his land instead of heading to the house.  It was time he faced what he knew he would find.  He pushed away the thought that this house he had built, represented a dream that had died with Ivy.  Austin pushed the door open and Jess was immediately in his arms.

“Pa!” she cried as he picked her up and swung her around.  “You’re home!  I have a surprise for you.”

He buried his face in her hair.  He could tell she had been well cared for.  Her hair was clean and looked like it had been freshly braided.

“I missed you,” he told her.  “I have a surprise too,” as he thought of the small gray kitten he had picked up at a farm nearby Chris’s land.  He had left it in the barn.  Their old cat had been killed a few months ago, likely by coyotes, and a farm always needed a good mouser.

He looked up and saw Lizzie standing near the stove with a smile.  He then noticed the house.  It was spotless.  All the dirty dishes were washed and stored in the cupboard.  The floor had been scrubbed and the stove polished.  The clothes that had been lying around were gone and he knew they had been washed and put away.  This was what he had imagined when he had first built his house.

“We made dinner.  Miss Carter has been teaching me how to cook,” Jess told him as she jumped up and down beside him.

Austin looked at Lizzie who glanced at him almost shyly.  “Jessica has been a great help this week.  She is a quick learner,” she told him.

“I’m not surprised.  Jess seems to learn everything quickly,” Austin smiled down at his daughter who was still hanging onto his hand.

“That’s because I’m tough, right Pa?” Jess asked him.

Yep, very tough,” Austin agreed.

“Dinner is ready,” Lizzie’s voice cut into their conversation.  Austin couldn’t detect any disapproval in her tone about his encouragement that Jess be tough, but he wouldn’t look at her.  He didn’t want to deal with her disapproval tonight. He wanted to enjoy his clean house and the meal Jess had helped make.

“I will leave you two to your meal,” Lizzie said as she started to remove her apron.

Austin was surprised.  “Why? Don’t you want to eat this meal you helped Jess prepare?”

Lizzie shrugged.  “I thought you might like to enjoy dinner alone with each other, since you haven’t seen Jessica for over a week.”

He shook his head.  “Please join us.”

Lizzie hesitated, but Austin saw her look at Jess’s hopeful face, and he knew she would be staying.

He quickly washed up and sat in his usual chair at the end of the table. After Jess and Lizzie took their places, he reached for the plate of roast beef that sat in front of him when Lizzie stopped him.

“Shall we say grace first?” she suggested.

He quickly pulled his hand back to his lap and nodded.  He admitted to himself that it had been a long time since he wanted to thank God about anything.  He did feel grateful.  As much as Lizzie irritated him, he was grateful she had been willing to stay with Jess while he was gone.  He was grateful for the food she had taught Jess how to prepare.  He was grateful that she had been able to clean up the house that he had spent so many hours building.

He bowed his head and felt Jess’s hand slide into his own.  He looked up again and noticed that Jess was also holding Lizzie’s hand.  Her other hand was resting on the table near him and he put his other hand into hers, almost without thinking.  The contact of their hands brought on a small tingle that surprised him. His eyes shot to Lizzie and he saw her eyes widen as if she had felt the same.  He quickly bowed his head again.

“Our Father in Heaven, we thank thee for the food we are about to eat.  Thank you for providing your protection to Jess and Miss Carter while I was gone.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”

“Amen,” Lizzie echoed as she quickly removed her hand from his.  She met his gaze again then looked away and reached for the bowl of carrots.  “Jessica has told me what your favorite foods are and I did my best to teach her how to prepare what you like to eat.”

“I see you went to the general store for meat,” he commented as he took a bite of the beef.  It had been cooked to perfection and was so tender it almost melted in his mouth.

Lizzie had an alarmed look on her face.” Jessica said that was where you bought your meat, but maybe I shouldn’t have…”

Austin shook his head and interrupted her.  “Jess is right.  I have made arrangements with Mrs. Clements.  Jess can buy any supplies she needs and I always settle the account at the end of the month. “

“That’s good, because Jessica really wanted to make a good meal for you to welcome you home,” Lizzie confessed.

Austin grinned at Jess.  “Are you getting tired of my cooking?”

“Pa, you just open up cans,” Jess giggled.

For some reason Austin felt embarrassed.  “You have never complained.”

Jess continued to giggle.  “That’s because I’m usually hungry.”

“The carrots look good.  Did you purchase those at the store, too?” he asked.

“We found them and the potatoes in the garden,” Jess explained as she ate a forkful of carrots.

He looked up in surprise.  “I totally forgot about the garden. Remember Jess?  We planted it last spring, but I got so busy with the rest of the farm, I forgot to take care of the vegetables.”

Lizzie nodded.  “There are actually more carrots and potatoes than you might think.  There might be enough for a few more meals.”

Austin filed his plate twice before he finally pushed it away with satisfaction.  “That was a mighty fine meal,” he looked at Jess and then at Lizzie.  “Thank you for preparing it.  It was a nice surprise.”

Jess smiled at his praise.  “Miss Carter taught me how to make some other meals.”

“Jessica is old enough to prepare some simple meals.  I am sure what she can fix will be better than canned goods. I would be happy to continue to teach her if you would like,” Lizzie offered.

Austin started to shake his head automatically.  He was so used to handling everything himself, it was second nature for him to refuse any type of help. Sometimes it was better to just handle things on his own.  But in the few hours since he had returned, he had to admit he liked having a clean house and a good meal to come home to after a hard day’s work in the fields.  Maybe Jess was old enough to start handling some of the house cleaning and cooking.

“He turned to his daughter. “Would you like to keep learning how to cook, Jess?”

“Oh, yes, Pa,” Jess said as she clapped her hands in excitement.

Austin knew that Jess not only wanted to learn new skills, but she also wanted to keep spending time with Miss Carter.  Part of him really wanted to tell Lizzie thanks, but no thanks.  But he knew that if he said that, Jess would be very disappointed.  He looked at Lizzie.  “It looks like Jess wants to keep learning.”

Chapter 6

Austin agreed that Lizzie would walk home with Jess after school two times a week.  Lizzie would have been happy to come to their home every day, but Austin was insistent that they not take advantage of her time.  He didn’t want her to neglect her teaching job and the other children.

He only made one request.  “I only agree to this plan if you promise to not interfere in my teaching Jess to be tough.”

Lizzie quietly agreed, but she also had a plan to show him that a girl, or a woman for that matter, can handle living in this mountain land but still be what God made her to be.  She wanted Austin to accept Jessica as a girl that God had created, while helping the child learn how to take care of a home.

She told herself their arrangement had nothing to do with a growing desire to be around Austin and to get to know him better.  After all, he barely showed tolerance for her and he continually made comments that he didn’t think she would stay once the first snow fell.  She was helping Jessica and that was the only thing that mattered.

The Saturday after their agreement, Lizzie had spent the afternoon showing Jessica how to make a vegetable stew.  When dinner time arrived Austin didn’t come in, and after waiting for almost 30 minutes, Lizzie was starting to feel concerned.

“Sometimes Pa doesn’t come in at the normal time,” Jessica explained when Lizzie finally asked her.  “It means he has to finish up a job.”

The child spoke as if she wasn’t concerned, as if this happened all the time.

“How often does this happen?” Lizzie knew it was probably normal for Jessica to be alone out of necessity sometimes, but she was starting to have visions of Jessica wandering the farmland after dark, looking for her father and becoming lost.

“Not often, just sometimes.”

Lizzie decided they should start to eat and she did her best to not show concern.  She tried to take her cue from Jessica, but she couldn’t help the feeling of dread that came over her.  Even though Austin had been firm that Lizzie leave after dinner was over, she made up her mind to stay until Austin came.

As they ate, she tried to keep her own childhood memories in the back of her mind, but they pushed themselves forward.  She remembered being alone with Debbie.  It was dark.  Papa was gone.  Her older brother, Owen, was gone.  They had been gone a long time.  She couldn’t remember if Papa had said they were coming back.  She could hear Papa tell her, “Your Mama is never coming back.”  Why?  What had happened to Mama?  Would Papa leave her and Debbie too, just like Mama had?

She remembered that she had huddled in a corner of the kitchen with her arms around Debbie, doing her best to be brave, certain they had been abandoned.  Then the door opened and Owen came in.  “Lizzie, Debbie,” he called.  He found them in the corner.  He picked them up and held them on his lap.  “We had to go to work on the Smith farm, remember?  I told you we’d be home after dark.”

Then Papa had come in and witnessed the scene.  “It’s too bad they aren’t boys. Then they could go with us.”

“It doesn’t matter that they are girls,” Owen told their father.  “I am taking them with me tomorrow.”

Pa shrugged as if he didn’t care.  “It doesn’t matter much to me.  I don’t have time to babysit them anyway.  I just hope Mr. Smith doesn’t mind.”

Lizzie looked up as she heard the sound of boots stomping on the porch through her memories.  Austin had returned.

“Pa’s back!” Jessica jumped from the table to look out the window.  “See, he always comes back.” Jessica’s voice showed confidence in her father’s words.

For the first time, Lizzie admitted to herself, perhaps Austin is right.  Perhaps it is good to teach Jessica to be strong, even when she is alone.

Later that evening, after the dishes were done, Austin insisted on walking Lizzie back to Hannah’s house.

“It’s not really necessary,” Lizzie protested.  “I will be fine.”  She didn’t want to take Austin away from any time he might spend with Jessica.   For some reason, it also made her heart soften towards him, that he cared about her safety.  She wasn’t ready for those type of thoughts towards him.  “I’m used to the walk and it’s not far.”

“It’s my fault you have to walk home in the dark,” he insisted.  The three of them put on their coats and started towards Hannah’s home.

“Miss Carter was worried about you, Pa, because you were late,” Jessica informed him and then started to skip ahead of them.

Austin swung his head towards her.  “You were worried about me?  Why?”

Lizzie hesitated.  How much did she want him to know about her past?  “I just remember what it was like to be alone in a house after dark.”

Austin looked surprised at her words.  He glanced at his daughter.  “Jess isn’t afraid of the dark.”  His voice sounded proud of her.

Jessica nodded her agreement at her father’s words.  “I am afraid of some things, but not of the dark.”

Lizzie knew that Austin was not like her own father and she again admitted this to herself.  She could tell he loved Jessica.  He was raising her the best he knew how.  She might not agree with some of his methods, but she could tell he loved his daughter very much.

Lizzie could see that Jessica had stopped ahead of them and had bent down to look at the ground.

“Did you find something?” Austin asked her as they walked to her side.

“Look, Pa.  It’s a puppy.”

Jessica scooped up the small dog and Lizzie could instantly see that it was too small to be on its own.  It was whining and crying and its eyes were barely opened.

“It’s lost, Pa.” Jessica cuddled the small puppy to her chest.  “I bet it’s hungry.”

“It’s too small, Jess,” Austin told her.  “It probably won’t survive.  Give it to me and I will take care of it.”

“No!” Jessica told her father firmly.

Lizzie could tell that Jessica knew exactly what her pa meant when he said that he would take care of it.  “I will feed it and care for it.  It will live.  Maybe when it grows up it will be a good farm dog.”

Lizzie could see that Austin wanted to argue and insist on “taking care of it.”  Obviously, Jessica could also tell. “Tell him, Miss Carter.  Don’t you think I can take care of it?”

Lizzie didn’t want to come in between father and daughter, but she felt she needed to voice her opinion.  “It is small, but it could grow up to be a nice dog to have around.  I have noticed that you don’t have a dog on the farm. I think all farms should have at least one guard dog.”

She held her breath when it appeared Austin was thinking about Jessica’s request.  He finally nodded.

“All right, you may keep it and see if you can keep it alive, but I don’t want a lot of moaning and crying if it dies.”

“It won’t die,” Jessica told her father firmly.  “And I don’t cry.”  She turned from Austin and held out the puppy to Lizzie.  “Do you want to hold it?”

Lizzie hesitated and then reached out and took the puppy.  It was so small, she could almost hold it in one hand.  “It’s very cute. Look at its markings.  Brown all over, with tips of white on its feet and ears. What are you going to name it?”  She gave the small puppy back to Jessica.

“I wouldn’t name it, yet.  See if it lives first before you get attached to it.” Austin warned.

“I am going to name it Brownie,” Jessica announced, ignoring her father’s words, and he groaned.  Jessica ran ahead of them with the dog cuddled in her arms.

Lizzie tried not to laugh at his frustration, but Austin noticed.  “You won’t think this is funny when she comes to school on Monday sad that it died.”

“She is familiar with death, Austin.  After all, her mother died.”

Austin was quiet for a moment and she wished she could take back her words.  What if Jessica had heard them?  She breathed a sigh of relief when she noticed the child had ran far enough ahead that she couldn’t have heard her words.

“I’m not sure she remembers much about her mother. She never talks about her.”

“She remembers,” Lizzie told him quietly.

“Did she talk to you?” Austin asked.

“She only told me that she was starting to forget her.”

“She needs to forget.  It’s useless to hold onto the past,” Austin told her with a growl.

Lizzie stopped walking.  “Austin, she will never forget.  And if she does, it will hurt her more than if she remembers.”

“How do you know that?” Austin demanded in a harsh voice.

“I know from experience.  My mother died when I was a small child.  I have very few memories of her.  I can’t remember what she looked like, how she talked.  I can’t even remember when she held me, although I do remember her holding my younger sister.”  Her voice cracked as she spoke her words.

Austin touched her arm.  “I’m sorry. I sometimes tend to forget that everyone has experienced some loss in their lives.”  He pulled his hand away and they kept walking.

Lizzie wanted to rub her arm where he touched her.  There was that tingling sensation again.  It confused her how she reacted to a simple touch from him.

Austin called out to Jessica to wait for them.  The three of them walked in silence the rest of the way to Hannah’s house.  Soon Lizzie was in her room after waving goodbye to Austin and Jessica.  As she readied herself for bed, she promised herself that she needed to keep up the boundaries that she had created.  She couldn’t let herself feel close to anyone, especially Austin.  It would only create heartache.  He didn’t even believe she was strong enough to stick out the entire year of teaching.  He was teaching his daughter to be tough.  She needed to be tough, too.

Chapter 7

A few days later it was Sunday and Jess let Austin know that she wanted to go to church.

“It’s not Christmas for a few more months,” he teased her, but he hoped she would change her mind.  He only went to church twice a year, Christmas and Easter.

“I know, but Miss Carter took me while you were gone, and I liked it,” Jess told him.

Austin couldn’t think of a good reason to not go, so he agreed. “I’m caught up on chores.  I guess we can go today.”

Jess disappeared into her bedroom and reappeared a few minutes later wearing a dress.

Austin wanted to tell her to immediately take it off.  Why would she put on a dress?  He didn’t think God cared much what a person wore to church.  “Where did you get that dress?”

Grandma gave it to me for my birthday, remember?”

He faintly remembered a package arriving from Ivy’s parents last spring, but he didn’t remember there being a dress in it. He looked at Jess carefully and noticed she had done her best to brush her hair and had tied it back with a ribbon.

He suddenly knew he needed to stop Lizzie from coming around.  A few days ago he had come in from working and saw a jar full of wild flowers decorating the kitchen table.  Lizzie had encouraged him to allow Jess to keep the puppy which had woken them both up twice the night before to eat.  And now he realized Lizzie was teaching Jess how to act and dress like a girl.

He kept his opinions to himself.  “We need to go.  I hope you can ride a horse in that dress.”

“I can,” Jess assured him and sure enough, she had no problem getting up behind him on his horse.  At the church she just as easily jumped to the ground.  Jess had run ahead of him while he tied his horse to a post, so when he went inside the church, she had already chosen seats for them, right beside Lizzie.

When he slid into the pew, Lizzie smiled at him, but immediately turned her attention to Jess.  He quickly took in Lizzie’s appearance.  She had on a fancy bonnet that had no practical use except to be pretty.  Her dress was light blue with lace on the collar and tiny buttons.  What she wore today was not practical for a farmer’s wife.  But who was asking her to be his wife? Certainly, not him.

She looked at him again and he could read a softness in her brown eyes.  She wasn’t fit to be a farmer’s wife, but at the moment he wished she was.  The reverend started the service with a hymn and Austin turned his attention to the front of the small church.  He made an instant decision that she no longer needed to come out to the farm to teach Jess.  He figured she had learned enough.

But the sermon the reverend gave changed his mind.  The reverend talked about God’s love for all people and that He was always there for people who needed guidance in their lives.  What if it was God’s direction that Lizzie had come into their lives?  To help Jess learn some skills he couldn’t teach her?

****

The next Saturday, Lizzie arrived at the farm with plans to stay the entire day.  As soon as she arrived, she told Jessica her plans.

“I think we should see how many carrots and potatoes we can find in the garden.  It probably will freeze soon and we should get them out of the ground before then.”

Jess happily agreed and did her best to help as much as she could with the garden, her puppy, Brownie, at her side.  The puppy had thrived under Jessica’s care and was no longer the thin small animal they had first found.

Lizzie showed her how to make sure all the dirt was dusted off each root vegetable and then put in a gunny sack while Lizzie pulled up the carrots and potatoes.  She had to cut huge weeds out of the way every so often to get at the vegetables, but in the end they had been able to fill two gunny sacks.

One time, she had straightened and looked around, wiping sweat from her brow, when she saw Austin had also stopped and was wiping his face with a red cloth.  They looked at each other for a moment, then she waved, and he waved back.  She turned back to her job and called to Jessica who had stopped to play with the puppy.

“We are almost done.  Finish dusting off these last carrots,” Lizzie instructed her and Jessica willingly obeyed.  Every few minutes, Lizzie glanced towards Austin working in the distant field, but Austin didn’t look at her again.

Right before dinner, Austin came in from the fields.  “You have two sacks of vegetables,” she told him. “Not bad for a neglected dry garden.”

Austin met Lizzie’s eyes and smiled. “Thanks for taking care of that chore.”

She nodded and tried not to stare at Austin.  There was something about a hardworking man that appealed to her. She glanced at Jessica who was sitting on the floor by the stove cuddling her puppy.  She enjoyed being part of this small family, helping Jessica make the meals, cleaning the small home.  But she needed to remember this was only temporary.

Chapter 8

A few days later, Austin ran into the house.  “Jess, I need your help.  One of the horses has a bad cut on his leg, but I can’t get him out of the field he is in to isolate him.”  Lizzie looked out of the kitchen window as Jessica ran after her father.  The horse was in a field near the house and she watched as Jessica followed her father into the field.  Austin had a rope he was trying to toss into the air while Jessica waved her arms in front of the horse.  The horse raised up on his hind legs, and as his front legs waved in the air, the horse neighed in anger, or fear.  Lizzie didn’t know which.  She gasped and ran out the door after Jessica.  Was Austin really going to let the child near what looked to be a wild horse?

Austin shouted something at Jessica and she ran to an entrance of a small pen, ready to shut the gate as soon as the horse entered it.

Lizzie saw the rope Austin held.  “Let me help.”

He snickered.  “What are you going to do?  Sweet-talk him?”

She looked at him with frustration and grabbed the rope.  Talking softly, she approached the horse, who was still running around in the small fenced field.  She quickly made the rope into a lasso and swung it out.  The rope went over the horse’s head and she immediately tightened it.  Austin came up behind her, grabbed the rope, and quickly pulled him in.  Suprisingly, once the horse knew he had been captured, he calmed down. Quickly, Austin had him in the pen, and Lizzie continued to quietly talk to him until she could see he was no longer agitated.

“I think he will let you work on him now,” Lizzie told him with a twinkle in her eyes.  She was glad she had been able to show him that some women could do more than just cook and clean.  She knew that Austin could have roped the horse on his own, but she was glad that she could show him that she had some skills.

Austin seemed too shocked to move.

“Austin?” she questioned, trying not to smile.  She had taken great delight in showing him up.

He glanced at her, but gathered up some medical supplies and walked toward the now calm horse.

“Do you still need my help?” she tried to ask him innocently, but she knew her twinkling eyes gave her away.

“No, thanks anyway,” he muttered and climbed into the pen to look at the wound.

She returned to the house and finished the dinner preparations.  An hour later, both Austin and Jessica returned and she watched as both of them washed up for dinner.

“Will the horse be all right?” Lizzie asked.  She noticed that Austin refused to look at her, but Jessica nodded.

“Pa cleaned the wound real good.  He says he will be like new in a few days.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Lizzie responded.  She didn’t like to see any animal suffer.

Dinner was eaten quickly, with Jessica the only one who talked.  Austin didn’t say a word and left the house as soon as he ate the last bite.  Lizzie quickly did the dishes and then directed Jessica to do her homework.

“I’m going to go talk to your pa,” Lizzie told her.  “I also would like to see the horse.”

Jessica nodded her agreement and scooped up the puppy.  She settled him on her lap and started to write out her spelling words.

Lizzie walked towards the barn, keeping her eye out for Austin nearby, but she couldn’t see him.  When she reached the barn, she called out.  “Austin?”

“Right here,” he responded and she jumped because he had been behind her.  He was leaning against a wall.  “So, where did you learn to do that with a horse?”

His tone was flat, almost as if he was upset, and Lizzie’s heart plummeted.  “Does it matter?” she finally asked him.

“Not many women would know how to do that.”

“I know that you think that all women are weak, that there is no place for them on your farm, or in these beautiful Montana mountains.  You think that pretty things have no value.”

Austin turned away at her words.  “I don’t think all women are weak.  But a woman needs to be strong and sturdy to live out here.”

Lizzie felt greatly disappointed.  She had been hoping she had proved to him otherwise, about herself. “It doesn’t seem fair to judge all women by what your wife did.” To judge me against his wife, she thought.

He turned to her angrily.  “You don’t know anything about her.”

“I know what I see, what you expect out of Jessica.  What she has told me is that she can’t be weak, only tough.”

“She’s right.  She knows there is no room in these mountains for weakness.”

“Pretty things, a pretty child, does not signify weakness,” Lizzie insisted.

“What good are they when it is more important to survive?” Austin asked as if he truly wanted to know.

“I think that anyone can face almost anything life throws at them when their heart is happy.  Pretty things brighten our days.  A pretty girl can also be a strong girl,” she said firmly.

Austin changed the subject.  “Where did you learn how to rope a horse?”

Lizzie hesitated.  She didn’t want to tell him about her past.  She didn’t want to admit that her father hadn’t wanted her or her younger sister and that he had taken both of them to a New York orphanage because they weren’t boys.

“Are you hiding something?” His voice was demanding, but he touched her shoulder gently, and it instantly made her want to lean towards him.  For the first time, she suddenly wanted to tell him everything.

She sighed and looked down at the ground.  “My older brother taught me.  My younger sister, Debbie, and I used to follow him around on our farm as he worked.  He raised and trained horses, and he taught me.”

Austin turned her to him and lifted her face so she was looking at him.  “It sounds like he was a good brother to you.”

Lizzie couldn’t think, couldn’t move, and couldn’t speak.  She moved away from him so he couldn’t touch her, but a part of her wanted to move closer to him.

“I don’t think your brother taught you how to teach,” he commented.

Lizzie shook her head.  “No.  I was given that opportunity by the women who took Debbie and me in.”

He frowned at her words.  “What happened to your brother and your father?”

Lizzie hesitated again, then made a sudden decision.  She might as well tell him everything.

“When I was about Jessica’s age, Pa took Debbie and me to an orphanage in New York.  He decided it was too hard to care for two girls and he didn’t have a wife.  About a year later, Debbie and I traveled on a train to Maple Grove, Texas.  We were taken in by two spinster sisters who owned a boarding house.  They finished raising us.  When I graduated from the town school, one of the sisters gave me the opportunity to get my teaching certificate.  When Hannah Atkins heard that there was an opening here in Pine Valley, I applied for the job. And here I am.”

“So you haven’t seen your brother or your father since you were nine?”

Lizzie shook her head and backed away.  She already regretted telling him.  He now had another reason to think she would leave by Christmas.  She had never really had a stable home life.

“I…I better go now,” she stuttered and quickly ran out of the barn and down the lane towards Hannah’s home.

Chapter 9

Lizzie stayed away from the farm for almost a week.  She knew she was starting to fall in love with Austin, and she couldn’t allow that to happen.  She knew Austin would never think of her in that way.  He had so much bitterness in his heart towards his late wife, she didn’t know if he would ever be able to get beyond it. And she also knew he still believed she was a weak woman who was going to decide living in the mountains of Montana was too hard and would leave.

She began to plan a Christmas program with her students even though Christmas was many weeks away.  She needed something else to focus her thoughts on besides Austin and Jessica.  One of the older boys enjoyed writing stories, so she had asked him to write up a short Christmas story that the children could act out, along with singing some carols.

She wrote a long letter to Debbie and told her everything that had been going on in her life, except for her interaction with Austin.  She briefly described the progress Jessica was making on learning the basic skills she had been teaching her.

One day after school, she told Jessica she would go with her to her farm.  She knew the child was hurt she had been staying away.

“I have washed all the dirty dishes every night and put all our stuff away,” Jessica assured Lizzie as if thinking that was why she had stayed away.

“That’s great, Jessica,” Lizzie praised her.  “It sounds like you are doing a terrific job.”

The child started to run ahead, giving Lizzie time to gather her thoughts.  She had to get her thoughts under control.  She realized she was foolish to think that Austin would see her in a new light after she roped the horse.  She knew she had somehow thought if he approved of her, it would erase her past.

Jessica stopped her running and waited until Lizzie caught up with her.  “I thought you were too mad at Pa to come back.”

“I’m sorry that you thought that.  I am not mad at your Pa.”

“That’s good.  I don’t want anything to stop you from coming,” Jessica said as she slipped her small hand into Lizzie’s.

Lizzie didn’t say anything, but she knew that someday, probably in the near future, she would need to stop her visits.  She felt a prick of tears at the thought.  She had developed a love for Jessica, much more than a teacher should love a student.  She wished she could always be a part of the child’s life.

“What has your Pa been doing?” Lizzie asked, trying to change the subject.

“He’s working on the barn.  He says the roof needs to be replaced before winter gets here.”

“Is he working on it by himself?”

Jessica shrugged her shoulders.  “I guess.  He says he doesn’t need any help.”

Lizzie suddenly had a vision of Austin getting seriously hurt falling off of the roof.  The roof of the barn was very steep, shaped in a sharp V.  Why would he be trying to fix the roof on his own?

Just then a snarling dog ran towards them.  The Fosters’ dog had not been tied up.   For the past month, the Fosters had kept him tied up or in their barn, and Lizzie had stopped worrying about the dog, but obviously it was still a concern.  She pushed Jessica behind her.

“Don’t run,” she instructed the trembling child.  “Just walk quickly beside me.  If you run, he will chase after you.”

A shout came from the Fosters’ house, calling the dog back, but the animal ignored his owner.  He called again, louder. This time, the dog slowed down and soon stopped, but he was still growling and snarling at Lizzie and Jessica.  The man ran towards the dog and grabbed his collar, pulling him towards the barn.

“Sorry about that, ma’am,” Mr. Foster called.  If Lizzie was alone, she would have raked him over the coals for allowing his ferocious dog to get loose, but because Jessica was still trembling beside her, she just nodded at the man and they quickly moved on.

“Did you tell your pa about the dog?” Lizzie asked when they were a safe distance from the Fosters’ farm.

Jessica shook her head.

Lizzie stopped her and bent down so she was at the child’s level. “Jessica, you must tell your father.  If Mr. Foster hadn’t been around, that dog could have bitten us. You walk by their farm by yourself every day to school.  He needs to know.”

“I can’t.  Pa will think I’m not tough.  He says the dog is a coward and really wouldn’t hurt me.”

Lizzie didn’t believe that for a second.  “Well, I for one, don’t want to see if it’s true.  There are some things you should be afraid of.  This is one of those things.”

Jessica kept shaking her head.

Lizzie stood, trying to decide what she should do.  She instantly made a decision.  “Jessica, if you don’t tell your father, then I will need to tell him.”

She waited while Jessica shuffled her feet in the dirt, trying to decide what was more important, her fear of the dog or her desire to be tough for her father. She sighed in defeat.  “Will you be with me when I tell him?”

Lizzie nodded, feeling relieved that Jessica finally agreed.  “Yes, I will be with you the entire time.”

When they arrived at the farm, Lizzie could see the floor needed to be swept and mopped and the stove wiped down.  She also saw that Jessica had done her best to keep things clean.  All the dishes were washed and the table was clean.

She showed Jessica how to make a simple meal of fried potatoes and scrambled eggs.  When Austin came into the house, she made sure her nerves were steady before she turned to face him.

He was very dusty and sweaty.  She could tell he had been working hard all day.  He removed his cowboy hat to reveal a rim on his hair.  “Hello, Lizzie.”

She almost whispered a hello back to him and tried to look away from his gaze, but could not.  This was one of the reasons she had stayed away so long, this pull she seemed to have towards him.

“Dinner smells good,” he said as he hung his hat on a hook by the door.

Lizzie quickly helped Jessica get the food to the table.  After a prayer was said, they all enjoyed the simple meal, although Jessica had been quieter than usual.  When the meal was over, Lizzie looked at Jessica and then at Austin.

“Before you go back out to work, Jessica has something to tell you,” Lizzie nodded towards the child who was sitting on a kitchen chair swinging her feet.  She wouldn’t look at either her pa or Lizzie.

“Tell me what, Jess?  What’s up?” Austin asked.

“It’s about the Fosters’ dog,” Jessica almost whispered the words.

“That crazy dog?  What about him?”

Jessica lifted her head to look at Lizzie who nodded her head in encouragement.  “I’m scared of him, Pa.  I’m afraid he’s going to bite me.”

Austin glared at Lizzie.  “Is this your idea? You are encouraging her to be afraid of him.”

Lizzie glared right back.  “Jessica, why don’t you go outside and play with your puppy for a few minutes.”

Jessica looked at her pa and then at Lizzie, then sighed and picked up the dog and left the house, letting the screen door slam behind her.

Lizzie opened her mouth to talk, but Austin cut her off.

“I told you I don’t want her afraid of things. That dog is all bluff.  He’s the type that makes a lot of noise but runs at the first opportunity.”

“I’m not teaching her to be afraid of him. That’s happening all on her own.  When we passed the farm, he ran straight for us.  If Mr. Foster hadn’t called him back…”

They glared at each other.  She knew she needed to leave and not come back.

She walked towards to door and started to open it, then turned back to him to try one last time.  “Everyone is afraid of something.  Even you.”

“Oh, really?  What am I afraid of?” he demanded.

“You are afraid of weakness.”  She turned and left.  She quickly looked around, but couldn’t see Jessica to say goodbye, so she headed home.

****

Austin stared at the closed door, then at the dinner dishes on the table. Fine.  He didn’t need a fancy schoolteacher telling him what he should do with his house, his meals, his daughter, his life.  He should have told Lizzie not to come back weeks ago.

“Pa, did Miss Carter leave?” Jessica was at his side looking up at him.  “Is she mad again?”

Austin chose to not answer her questions.  “Jess, you need to remember you can’t let fear rule your life.  You have to face it, and then you can conquer it.

“I know, Pa.”

“Don’t let that dog see that you’re afraid. I’ll get you a big stick to take with you and it will help you look big.  He’ll leave you alone.”

“Okay, Pa.”

“Please do the dishes while I finish up some chores.”

“I will, Pa.”

He went out to the wood pile and found a long branch.  He quickly shaped it into a large bat. This will help Jessica see she is strong.  She needed to believe in herself.

He went back into the house to find the dishes washed and put away.  Jessica was sitting at the kitchen table doing her schoolwork.  He gave her the stick.

“Take this with you.  Wave it around when the dog comes.  He’ll leave you alone.”

Jessica took the stick.  “Thanks, Pa.”  She stood up and started to wave the stick around.

“What are you doing?” he asked her.

“I’m practicing, so I can be ready.”

“That’s a good idea,” he told her with a smile.

Chapter 10

The next morning, Lizzie had started school and ten minutes later, Jessica still hadn’t shown up.  Was something wrong?  She hoped not and that Austin had just kept the child home for some reason.  Then she saw Jessica slip into her seat.

“Good morning, Jessica.  Is everything okay?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jessica responded, but she wouldn’t look at Lizzie.  Lizzie wanted to keep asking questions but decided to back off.  Maybe she was just embarrassed about being late to school.

At recess, she dismissed the children and then sat at her desk.  Jessica had been very quiet all morning and had not looked at her once.  She hadn’t been able to answer Lizzie’s questions about a math problem.  Lizzie hoped everything was okay at her house.  It seemed obvious to her that Austin had driven a wedge between her and Jessica.

Well, I did what I could for her, she whispered to herself. That will have to be enough.  She went outside to make sure the children were okay when Helen, one of the oldest girls, came up to her.

“Miss Carter, you need to look at Jessica’s leg,” the girl whispered to her.

Lizzie instantly felt concern.  She looked around and saw Jessica sitting on a log away from the other children.  Usually Jessica was in the thick of things during recess, running around and not stopping for a second.

She headed towards Jessica, but the child saw and instantly went into the outhouse.  Lizzie could see she was slightly limping.  What was going on?  She called Helen back to her.

“Please ring the bell and get all the children started on their spelling words. I need to take care of something and will be back in a moment.”  She knew Helen would be able to handle things if she needed to be gone for a while.  Helen had expressed her desire to be a teacher when she graduated next spring and so Lizzie had been giving her opportunities to teach small lessons to the other children.

Helen nodded her understanding and went to ring the bell.  Lizzie waited by the outhouse.  She knew Jessica would come out soon, especially if she thought everyone had gone into the schoolhouse, including Lizzie.

When Jessica opened the door to the outhouse, she froze when she saw Lizzie, who looked down at the leg Jessica seemed to be favoring.  She could see her overall pants were torn and she could see some blood.

“Oh, Jessica,” Lizzie breathed as she moved closer to the child.  “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Jessica tried to move away, but Lizzie caught her arm.

“Let me see your leg.  It looks like you hurt it.” Lizzie waited until Jessica finally nodded her assent.  Lizzie lifted her pant leg and saw a flap of ragged skin that gaped open, and quite a bit of blood was running down her leg into her shoe, although some of it had dried.

Lizzie tried to not look too alarmed, but the wound looked quite bad.  “Let’s get this cleaned up.”

Jessica whimpered but followed her willingly into the schoolroom.  Lizzie had Jessica sit in the small room where the coats and lunch boxes were held and she did her best to clean the wound, but she knew it needed more attention than she could give it at that time.

“What happened?” she asked Jessica.

Jessica shook her head and kept her head down.

“You need to tell me, Jessica.”

“I can’t tell you.  It’s all my fault.  I wasn’t tough enough.”

Lizzie gazed at Jessica for a moment, then made another instant decision. She let the children know that she was leaving Helen in charge while she took care of a problem.  She then got a clean handkerchief and water and went back to Jessica who she had left sitting on the floor in the coat room.

“Jessica, did the dog do this to you?”

The child remained silent and Lizzie started to feel frustrated.  “Jessica, this is a serious wound.  We need to get this cleaned up and get you home.”

“I tried to wave the stick like Pa told me to, to make me look big and tough, but it just made the dog madder,” Jessica finally confessed as she broke out into sobs.

Lizzie gathered her into her arms.  “It’s okay.  You’re safe now.  I will make sure something is done about that dog, I promise.”

“You can’t tell Pa,” she cried.

“Oh, honey, you can’t hide something like this from your Pa.  He needs to know what happened.”

“I wasn’t tough like he wanted me to be.  What if he sends me away?”

The words hit Lizzie in her heart.  She had been sent away because she wasn’t good enough.  Would Austin really do that?  Lizzie immediately knew the answer.  Austin loved his daughter.  He wouldn’t ever send Jessica away.

“I don’t think he will sent you away,” Lizzie told her.  “He loves you very much.”

But Austin must face some hard truths about expecting a small child to be strong and face a fierce dog who was almost as large as she was.  She was definitely going to have another talk with Austin, even if it meant he would never allow her to spend time with Jessica ever again.   Someone needed to stand up for the child and that someone was going to be her.

****

Lizzie remembered that Hannah had told her she was going to the general store that morning, and so Lizzie was able to meet her there.  Hannah made arrangements with her husband, Chase, for Jessica to be taken home in their buggy. A woman who had also been in the general store offered to take over the school class for the rest of the day, which Lizzie accepted very gratefully, especially when she remembered that this woman had been a teacher before she married her husband.

When they arrived at Austin’s farm, she asked Chase to carry Jessica to her bed.  After thanking Chase as he left to let the doctor know he needed to come, she helped Jessica remove her overalls. The wound looked very red and deep.  She placed Jessica’s leg on a pillow, then went to boil some water.  She knew the cleaning she had done at the schoolhouse had not been enough.  It needed to be cleaned better immediately.

Austin burst into the kitchen.  “What’s going on?  I saw Chase come into the yard and then drive off.”

“We need to talk, Austin,” Lizzie told him firmly. “Sit down, please.”

He looked at her sharply, but sat down as requested.

“Jessica was late for school today. She wouldn’t talk to anyone and did hardly any schoolwork.  I found out why at recess when I realized she wasn’t playing with the other children like she usually does.”

“Why?  What happened?” he demanded.

“She was bitten severely by the Fosters’ dog on the leg.”

“What?  Are you sure?  I told her all she needed to do was swing that big stick around and he wouldn’t touch her.”

“Of course I’m sure.  I wouldn’t lie to you about this.”  Lizzie couldn’t believe that he thought she was making this up.

“Where is she?”

“I am not finished,” Lizzie told him in her best schoolteacher’s voice.

“We can talk later.  Where is she?” he stood up as if to look around for his daughter.

“We will talk now, Austin.”  She waited until he looked at her and then sat down again.

“Okay, talk.”  He looked resigned as if he had to sit there until she was done talking.

“No child should have to prove to her father that she is tough.”

“I guess I was wrong about the dog, but I never thought Jess had to prove anything to me.”

“Well, she obviously did.  That dog is almost as big as she is.  She is just a small child.  It doesn’t mean she isn’t of value.”

Austin looked at her in shock.  “I never have thought that. Never.  Now, where is she?”

Lizzie sighed.  She had let something slip about herself to him that had nothing to do with Jessica and her relationship to her father, but everything about herself and her own father.  “She is in her room.”

She sighed again as Austin left the room.  Once again she wasn’t able to get Austin to understand, and in the process she had allowed her past to get tangled up with the present.  She followed Austin and saw him sit next to his daughter on her bed.

“I’m sorry, Pa.  I tried to be tough, just like you wanted,” Jessica said to her father in a small voice.

“I’m the one who is sorry, Jess. I really didn’t think he’d bite.” He lifted the cloth Lizzie had covered the wound with and then turned away.  He stood up quickly.

“I’m going to go get the doctor. And then I am going to have a talk with Mr. Foster.  That dog will never bother you again,” he promised Jessica.

He turned to leave the room and saw Lizzie.  “Can you watch her until I return?”

Lizzie nodded.  “Chase has already gone for the doctor.  I am sure he will be here soon.”

Austin nodded.  “I will wait until the doctor gets here, then.”

Chapter 11

Austin turned away, unwilling to see the accusation on Lizzie’s face. What was wrong with him?  It was his job to protect Jess as her father, and he had failed.  He was so worried about making her strong and tough, he forgot that she was just a small child.  He hadn’t protected her and he hadn’t tried to understand her fear of this dog when she had come to him.  And she had come to him only because Lizzie had insisted.  He knew that if she hadn’t, Jess wouldn’t have ever come to him with this problem.

The doctor soon arrived and cleaned the wound the best he could.  Even though the wound looked deep, he didn’t think it needed stitches.  He gave instructions to Austin to watch for infection and to send for him if there were any concerns.  The doctor gave Jess some medication so she could rest, and then left.

As soon as the doctor left, Austin jumped on his horse and rode down the dusty road to the Fosters’ farm, anger building in his chest with every gallop of his horse.  When he rode into the Fosters’ yard, the large dog immediately ran towards him growling and snarling.  The dog was larger than he remembered.  He could see that Jess was only a bit taller.  No wonder she was so scared.

“Mr. Foster!” he thundered, staying on the horse and hoping the dog would be smart enough to not come closer.  The screen door to the house opened and the man stepped out.

“Yes, Austin?” he called out.  “Is there a problem?”

“Your dog bit my little girl this morning while she was on her way to school.”  He growled out to the heavy-set man.  “Evidently he threatens her almost every day.  If you don’t keep your dog tied up and if I ever see him loose again, I will shoot him.”  Austin stared at the man for a moment to make sure he understood he was serious, then he turned his horse around and rode back to his daughter.

Austin insisted Lizzie leave after he returned, making sure she knew he could take care of his daughter.  He could tell she wanted to argue, but then she nodded her assent and after smoothing his daughter’s hair from her face, she left to go back to the schoolhouse to finish the rest of the school day even though it was almost over.

He sat by Jess’s bedside for the rest of the day and during the night.  Jess slept until the early morning hours when she started to toss and turn, moaning in her sleep.  He did what he could, following the doctor’s instructions, but when morning came, he was starting to get scared.  The leg did not look good.

****

When Lizzie woke up the next morning, she was relieved that it was Saturday and there was no school.  Even though Austin had sent her away, she was determined to at least go and visit Jessica.  She needed to make sure the child was doing all right.

She helped Hannah with some chores around the house, and then set out to Austin’s farm.  When she arrived and knocked on the door, Austin answered it with relief written all over his face.

“I am so glad you are here,” he said as he pulled her inside.  “I need to go for the doctor.  Can you stay with Jessica?”

“Why? How is Jessica doing?” Lizzie stammered as she let him pull her into the house.

“She slept well enough until a few hours ago.  She hasn’t woken up and has been moaning as if she is in pain.  The leg looks very red and swollen. I am thinking it is infected.  I need to go for the doctor.”

“Of course I can stay,” Lizzie told him and he quickly put on his hat and left the house.  She soon heard him ride off on his horse towards town.

Lizzie immediately took off her wrap and hurried to Jessica’s room.  What she saw scared her.  Jessica appeared to be asleep but she was moving and moaning.  Lizzie lifted the blanket that covered her and gasped when she saw the wound.  It looked very red and swollen.  She could see drainage coming from it.

“Oh, Jessica,” she murmured with tears in her eyes.  What should she do?  She had fallen in love with this child.  She would do everything she could to help her get better.

She left the room and put on some water to boil.  She knew the doctor would want some fresh water when he arrived.  She then took an old sheet and tore it into strips for bandages.  By the time she tore the last strip, she heard a horse ride into the yard and she sighed with relief.

The doctor spent the morning with Jessica, and by the time he left, she was doing much better.  The doctor had needed to clean out the wound again and lance it, but when he left, he told Austin she would be fine.  They would need to keep her quiet for a few days, but she should be her usual active self by the end of next week.

Jessica slept for a few hours and Lizzie sat near her bed while Austin did some chores that couldn’t wait.  Jessica woke up later that afternoon and asked for some food. Lizzie had prepared a thin beef soup and gladly gave her some.  It was good to see the child eating.

Austin came back into the house and smiled when he saw his daughter sitting in her bed eating the soup.

“I’m so glad you are doing better,” he placed a kiss on Jessica’s head.  “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you when you tried to tell me about the dog.  If I had listened, you never would have gotten hurt.”

“I tried to be tough and strong, just like you said,” she told her father.

“You were very brave, Jess,” Austin took a nearby cloth and wiped some soup she had spilled on her chin.  “But it is my job to protect you, especially from things that you can’t handle.  I promise I will do better.”

“Okay, Pa,” Jessica grinned at her father.  Lizzie admired the instant forgiveness the child gave her father.  Watching them, she could see the strong bond between them.

“Promise me that if you ever feel scared of something in the future, you tell me, and I promise I will do everything to help you.”

Jessica threw her arms around Austin.  “I promise, Pa.”

After Jessica finished her soup, she looked tired again and soon fell asleep.  Lizzie had gone to the kitchen to start the dinner meal.  She turned when she felt Austin’s presence behind her.

“You did a great job making her feel special,” Lizzie told him with a smile.

“She is very special to me.  I hope she always knows that, even when I make mistakes, I will never put her in a position to be hurt again.”

“I’m sure she knows that.  You are very blessed to have her.”

Lizzie prepared a quick meal of roast beef sandwiches from some of the beef she had used to make the soup and soon they were sitting at the kitchen table eating.  She had been very quiet while she prepared the meal and Austin had left her to her thoughts and sat next to Jessica in her room until the meal was ready.  After Austin said a prayer, he immediately took a big bite of his sandwich, but Lizzie sat there, still deep in thought.

“Aren’t you hungry?” Austin asked her as he took another bite.

“Can I ask you something?” she asked him instead of answering his question.

“Sure.”

“Have you ever wished Jessica was a boy?”

Austin frowned at her. “What do you mean? Why would I want her to be a boy?  What makes you ask that?”

Lizzie ducked her head, wishing she could take back her words. “I was just wondering.”

Austin shook his head.  “I have never regretted she is a girl.  From the moment when she was born and she grabbed my finger with her little hand for the first time, I have loved her.”

Lizzie nodded her head at his words and took a small bite of her own sandwich.  “My Papa wished that I was a boy.”

Austin frowned at her again in concern. “Did he actually tell you that?”

“Well, not to me, but I heard him tell my older brother, Owen.  He said he wished my younger sister and I were boys.  He didn’t want to take care of us after Mama died.”

“I’m sorry, Lizzie,” he finally said after a period of silence.  “No child should be rejected like that.  Have you had any contact with your father or brother since you left the orphanage?”

Lizzie shook her head.  “Papa owned a small farm in Ohio.  The farm had been in his family for generations.  They probably still live there, although Owen is most likely married now.  He was about eight years older than me.  He would be taking over the farm.”

Chapter 12

Austin studied Lizzie as he finished his sandwich and started on a second.  He had learned many things about Lizzie in the last few days.  The most important thing was that Lizzie loved Jessica and was starting to treat her like her own daughter.  A few weeks ago, this would have bothered Austin greatly, but now as he remembered how Lizzie smoothed the hair from Jessica’s face when she was asleep and did everything she could to make sure the child was comfortable, he started to think of her in a new light.

He could see tension on Lizzie’s face.  He wished he could help her because he cared how she felt.  He could see that each of them had made decisions with Jessica, both based on their individual pasts.  He tried to teach Jessica to be tough and that that was more important than anything else.  Lizzie tried to give Jessica all the love she could give her because she was rejected by her own father.

Lizzie had also shown him that she wasn’t a weak woman.  She had spent hours teaching Jessica how to cook meals and keep his small house clean. She had showed him she knew her way around horses and was willing to help when she was needed.  And she had definitely proved herself that she was a strong woman by immediately taking care of Jessica when she found out the child had been hurt.  She had also stood up to him about the dog.

He suddenly realized he had fallen in love with her.  The realization was so startling and so strong, he didn’t know what to say.  Should he just blurt it out now, while they were both eating the simple meal she had prepared?  Then he knew what he could do.

“I think you should write to your father.”

“What?” Lizzie looked at him as if she couldn’t believe what she had just heard.  “Why would I want to write to him?”

“So you can find out what really happened.”

“I don’t think he would want to hear from me or Debbie.  He abandoned us at the orphanage, remember?”

“Maybe he wouldn’t.  If you don’t want to write him, at least write to your brother.”

Lizzie sat back in her chair and stared at him, not saying anything.  Austin stayed silent and allowed her to think about his suggestion.  “I can do that.  But what if…”

“I can’t promise you that what you will find out about your father or your brother will be good.  But at least you might know the reasons behind your father putting you and your sister in an orphanage.”

“He abandoned us because we weren’t boys,” Lizzie insisted.

“You were a child when he left you there.  You are remembering childhood memories.  Maybe there was another reason, a reason you might understand now that you are an adult.”

Lizzie pushed her plate away with a half-eaten sandwich on it.  “I will have to think about this,” she finally told him.

She stood up and started to clear the table and wash the dishes.  Austin walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder and she froze under his touch.

He turned her so he could look at her face. “I want to thank you for all you have done for Jessica. “

“You don’t need to thank me,” Lizzie told him and he noticed that she looked flustered.

Lizzie stood before him and she couldn’t look away from his eyes. They pulled her deep into his own.  She saw his strength, his independence, and what she also wanted, acceptance and belonging.

His gaze seemed to search her deepest thoughts.  Did he see in her what she saw in him? She wanted him to know that she even though she had weaknesses, they just made her who she was.

She watched him as he slowly bent towards her and placed a kiss on her cheek.  He then gently kissed her lips. He eased her back slightly and held her in his arms.  For a moment, she enjoyed his attention.  It was as if she had been waiting just for him.  But then she inadvertently stiffened and pulled away.  Austin let his hands fall to his sides, but continued to look at her very intently.

“I…I should go now,” Lizzie stuttered.  She turned and quickly left the house.

****

Lizzie walked quickly towards Hannah’s house.  She inadvertently touched her lips with her fingers. She felt as if she was in a daze. He had kissed her, and when he did, she couldn’t stop the instant flood of feelings towards him.  She was starting to recognize that she had feelings for him, but she had no idea he would feel the same.  Up until the last few days, he had been insistent that he didn’t trust her, that she was going to be gone by Christmas.  Did the kiss mean he had changed his mind?

She shifted her thoughts to her conversation about Jessica.  Austin had loved Jessica since the day she was born.

Had Lizzie’s father ever loved her?  She couldn’t remember.

Austin was glad that Jessica was a girl.

Lizzie had heard very clearly that her father wished she had been born a boy.

She quickly stopped her thoughts.  She shouldn’t compare Austin to her father.  Her feelings toward him had nothing to do with her father.  Or did it?  She acknowledged to herself that she had been angry with Austin and that he had been insisting that Jessica not be weak.  But it was very obvious that Austin loved his daughter.  She couldn’t remember her father ever hugging her when she was a child.  Even when he dropped Debbie and herself at the orphanage, he hadn’t hugged them goodbye.  He had just told them to be good and not cause any problems.

She had experienced a taste of the love between Austin and Jessica as she watched him care for her.  Then he had kissed her.  But most likely, after Jessica’s leg had healed, Austin would realize that the feelings he had towards her were temporary.  He would go back to insisting Lizzie was going to leave Pine Valley soon and then things would be back to the way they were before Jessica got hurt.

When she entered the small home of Hannah’s, she saw her friend at the kitchen sink finishing up the last of the dinner dishes.  Hannah turned and smiled at her when she entered the kitchen.

“How is Jessica doing?” she asked Lizzie.

“She is doing much better,” Lizzie responded.  “The doctor thinks she will make a full recovery.”

“That’s great to hear,” Hannah said as she turned back to the dishes.

“Can I help you?” Lizzie offered.  Hannah was in the last few weeks of her pregnancy and she could tell her friend looked tired.

“I’m almost finished, but thank you for the offer,” Hannah responded.

Lizzie wasn’t surprised that Hannah refused her help.  Hannah seemed to like to take care of her own dishes.  Lizzie turned to head into her room when Hannah’s voice stopped her.  “I have some spice cake that I made today.  Would you like to join me and eat a piece?”

Lizzie nodded.  “That sounds nice.”  She took some plates down from the cupboard and watched as Hannah sliced two pieces of the delicious looking cake.  They both sat at the small kitchen table together.

“This is very good,” Lizzie complimented her friend after she took her first bite.

Lizzie enjoyed talking to Hannah while they ate the cake.  She had been so busy with teaching school and helping Austin with Jessica, that she hadn’t had time to spend with Hannah very much.  She found herself telling Hannah how sorrowful Austin was that Jessica had been hurt by the dog.

“It sounds to me he was trying to teach Jessica what he thought was the right thing to do,” Hannah commented.

“Yes, I realize that now.  It’s just that when I first met him, he reminded me of my father.”

Hannah was familiar with her and Debbie’s history.  “I don’t think Austin would ever abandon Jessica,” she said.

“No, I never had thought that.  I was just worried that he wished Jessica was a boy. You know, because he encouraged her to dress in overalls instead of a dress.  He has her do a lot of chores around the farm, but I know that is just part of being raised on a farm.”

Hannah nodded.  “It’s not unusual for young girls to wear overalls now-a-days, at least while they are at home.”

Lizzie was quiet for a minute.  “Austin thinks I should write to my brother.”

Hannah looked at Lizzie closely.  “What do you think?”

“I think it might be a good idea. If Pa didn’t sell the farm, I should be able to find him easily enough.  I know Owen didn’t mind having Debbie and me around.  He was a good brother.  He taught me how to do a lot of things,” Lizzie said, smiling to herself as she thought of how she had roped the horse for Austin, something her brother had taught her.

“When are you going to write him?” Hannah asked.

“Maybe I will tonight.  I am a bit scared.  What if he doesn’t write me back?  He probably has his own family now.”

“I guess you will need to cross that bridge when you come to it.  It may be he is waiting for you to contact him.  After all, since your pa left you and Debbie at the orphanage, and then we traveled to Texas on the train, he might not know where you both are.”

Lizzie hadn’t thought of that.  “It would be good to see him. And maybe I can ask him some questions.  Austin said that maybe some of my memories of Pa might not be what really happened.  He says that even though I am an adult, my memories are still what I experienced as a young child.  Maybe if I can contact my brother, I can find out what really happened, the real reason why Pa took us to the orphanage.”

“Austin has a good point,” Hannah told her and then she smiled gently at her. “I saw how he looked at you when he came to church a few weeks ago.”

“What do you mean?” Lizzie looked at her sharply.

“I think he is starting to care for you,” Hannah replied, her smile still in place.

Lizzie felt her face warm as she thought of the kiss she had just shared with Austin.  “He might just be feeling gratitude for all I have done for Jessica.”

“Or he might be ready to move on from the death of his wife,” Hannah remarked.

Lizzie stood up and carried her plate to the sink to rinse.  She didn’t want to talk about Austin with Hannah at the moment.  “Tell me if you need me to help with anything.  You are looking tired.  Can I help you with your laundry this Saturday?”

Hannah accepted the change of subject gracefully.  “I would love that.  Laundry is getting harder to do, and Chase dirties his clothes so quickly with his job.”

Lizzie made plans with Hannah to help her the following Saturday and then escaped to her room.   She sat down at her small desk to write the letter to her brother, but she couldn’t think of anything to say.  She decided to pray, so she bowed her head and asked the Lord for the right words to say in this letter.  Then she picked up her pen and wrote a simple letter, that she hadn’t ever forgotten him and would like to write him if he was agreeable.

She quickly sealed the letter in an envelope and wrote her brother’s name on the front.  She couldn’t remember the address of her father’s farm, but she did remember the name of the town that was nearby and she hoped the postmaster there would know how to get the letter to her brother.

Lizzie then wrote another letter, letting Debbie know she had written their brother and would let her know if she heard from him.  Debbie had never been as bitter as Lizzie was about their past.  Debbie seemed to accept changes easier than Lizzie did.

Lizzie found out that Hannah was planning on going to the general store the following day, so she promised Lizzie she would mail both letters for her.

Lizzie continued to teach during the days, but as soon as school was over, she would hurry to Austin’s home.  Jessica was doing much better, but Austin didn’t want her walking on her leg for a few more days, so she spent much of her time laying on the sofa.  Lizzie would bring her schoolwork to keep her busy during the day and when she arrived in the afternoons, Jessica kept her company with her chatter as Lizzie straightened the small home and made the evening meal.  By the end of the week, Jessica was almost back to normal and Lizzie finally let herself breathe a sigh of relief. She was so grateful that Jessica came through this and would probably end up with only a small scar on her leg.

She did her best to not allow herself to be alone with Austin.  She told herself that she didn’t need to keep coming over every day once Jessica was totally healed.  Jessica was doing a fine job keeping the house clean and she had been very quick in learning how to cook a few simple meals like beef stew and scrambled eggs and ham.  Austin might be eating the same things every day, however, they wouldn’t starve.  But would she be able to stop coming without regrets?  What did the kiss mean?  Austin seemed to be avoiding her also, although he was very friendly to her. Did he have regrets?  Lizzie again thought that maybe he was only expressing gratitude for her help with Jessica.

She shoved the longing she felt for him down deep inside, just as she had shoved all of her other deep feelings all her life.  She wanted more than gratitude.  She wanted love and acceptance for who she was, a female who was sometimes strong, sometimes weak, from the one person who would still love her unconditionally.

That Saturday, she spent the day helping Hannah with her laundry as she promised.  She also helped Hannah with some other much needed chores that needed to be done around her home.

On Sunday, Lizzie went to church as usual.  She didn’t see Austin or Jessica, but really didn’t expect them to come.  After all, Jessica’s leg was still a little sore and riding a horse probably would hurt her leg.  She sat with Hannah and Chase and enjoyed the sermon about learning to trust God in all areas of your life, whether it was good or bad.

After the service ended, she shook hands with the reverend and left the church.  She stood off to the side in the church yard to wait for Hannah.  A few people came up to her to ask her how Jessica was doing.  Then a woman, Mrs. Newell, stopped to talk to a group of women who were standing close by Lizzie.

“I heard that our schoolteacher is spending a great deal of time at the Perry farm,” Mrs. Newell spoke loudly and Lizzie knew anyone who would want to hear the woman’s words could.

Another woman answered her. “I think she was helping with Jessica’s care.  She was seriously injured.”

But another woman who Lizzie didn’t recognize jumped on Mrs. Newell’s words.  “What?  Is this true?  We can’t have the schoolteacher spend so much time at an unmarried man’s home without a chaperone!  Something must be done.”

Mrs. Newell noticed that Lizzie was standing nearby and turned to her.  “You have a serious responsibility to the children of our town.  You must maintain a flawless reputation.  You should be devoting yourself to all of our children, not just one.”

The woman Lizzie didn’t recognize nodded, her double chin bobbing as she did.  “I think we need to report this to the schoolboard.  Something needs to be done, immediately.”

Lizzie’s heart dropped when she saw more than one woman nod their heads in agreement. Lizzie couldn’t take any more and quickly turned and walked away.

What was she going to do?  If she was let go from her job as school teacher, she would have to return to Texas, and that was the last thing she wanted to do.  In the few months that she had been here in Pine Valley, she had learned to love this beautiful mountainous town.  She knew that she needed to stop her association with Jessica and her father.  She needed to stop going to their farm in order to keep her reputation intact.

The following day, Lizzie expected a visit from the schoolboard, but nothing happened.  She did her best to teach and give affection to all the children in her class.  She could tell from the way each child responded to her that she had done a good job in letting each one of them know he or she was important to her.  She went over all that she had done with Jessica and Austin and she knew she had done nothing wrong, except maybe spend more time than she should have with them.   She worked hard that entire week at the school.  She didn’t want to give anyone a reason to criticize her again.

She loved to teach, but she also yearned to have her own house to care for, a husband that loved her, and children.  Deep down, she admitted to herself that she wanted Austin as that husband and Jessica as her first child.  She admitted to herself that she loved Austin and she promised herself that she would not deny her feelings again.  She didn’t know what would happen between them.

Chapter 13

The next Saturday, Hannah told her that Chase was going to go to the Perry farm to help Austin with the roof of his barn.  Some other men from town were also heading to his farm to help.  Lizzie was glad that Austin was accepting help and she hoped none of the men would get injured on the steep roof.

Chase drove her and Hannah to Austin’s farm in their wagon.  Austin seemed happy to see her and she immediately started cooking a lunch meal for the men with Hannah’s help.  Lizzie realized she enjoyed working in Austin’s kitchen.  It almost felt as if it were her own. She knew where everything was located and knew what food Austin had in his pantry that was available for the meal.

A few other women came out with their husbands and Lizzie enjoyed her time with them.  She half expected at least one of them to comment on how much time she had been spending at Austin’s farm, including a comment that it was inappropriate, but none of them did.

Maybe not everyone in town feels the same way those women did at church, Lizzie thought to herself.

The men finally finished repairing the roof when it was just starting to get dark.  Lizzie had prepared another large meal with the other women and after dinner was eaten, everyone left, leaving Lizzie with Austin and Jessica.  She wanted to finish cleaning up the kitchen before she left, and she overheard Austin tell Chase he would make sure she arrived home safely.

Jessica had gone to bed long ago.  Austin sat at the kitchen table watching her finish washing the last of the dirty dishes.  When she put the last dish away, he stood and held out his hand.

“Let’s go for a walk,” he suggested.

Lizzie looked at his hand and then at him and could see something unreadable in his eyes.  She slowly slid her hand into his.

“I know we can’t go too far since Jess is in bed, but it is nice to enjoy the last of this nice evening weather.  It’s going to start getting cold very soon,” Austin told her as they left the house.  Lizzie expected him to drop her hand as soon as they left the house, but instead he tucked her hand under his arm.

They slowly walked by the barn and corrals.  They didn’t talk, but Lizzie kept looking at Austin out of the corner of her eye.  What was he thinking?

“It’s nice to see Jessica back to normal,” Lizzie finally broke the silence.  “I think she enjoyed having company today.”

“She seems to be doing well,” Austin nodded.

“The roof looks great.”

“Yes, I wanted to fix it myself, but when Chris found out, he talked me into seeing if I could get some men to come help.  He said if I couldn’t, he would come help, but I didn’t want him to come out again.”

“It was nice that everyone came to help you,” Lizzie remarked.

“Yes, it was.  It would have taken me weeks to get it done.  I would have been lucky to finish it before the first snow fell.”

They walked in silence for a few more minutes.  Lizzie was ready to tell him she should think about heading back to Hannah’s when Austin asked another question.

“How is your teaching?”

“It’s going well,” Lizzie was glad he kept the conversation going.  She told him about a few events that had happened that week.

“I can tell you are a great teacher.  In fact, you have taught me something important.”

“What is that?” she questioned.

“You have taught me that admitting a weakness doesn’t make me helpless.  Having weakness is not the same as giving up.”

“Everyone has weaknesses.”

“Yes, and strengths.” Austin stopped walking and turned to face her.  “You are a strong woman, Lizzie.”

“You used to see me as a woman who was going to quit my teaching job the minute the first snowstorm came.  Now you say I am strong.  You are seeing me only as you want me to be.”  She turned to walk away but stopped at his next words.

“You don’t need to run from me.  I am not your father.”

She turned to face him again. “What do you mean?”

“He hurt you.  He abandoned you.  I am guessing he was hurting himself. Perhaps he was afraid of his own weaknesses.”

“You are saying all this now, but when things get back to normal, you might change your mind.”

“We both have strengths and we both have weaknesses.  I think we balance each other out.”

Lizzie wanted so badly to believe he had changed.  But could she change?  She didn’t know.

“Have you thought about my suggestion to contact your brother?”

Lizzie was confused for a moment at the change of subject.  “Actually, I did send a letter to Owen.  I haven’t heard anything yet, but it hasn’t been very long since I sent the letter.”

“I’m glad.” Austin leaned towards her and lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes.

Lizzie could see the love he felt for her on his face.  What she saw almost frightened her and she lowered her eyes.  She heard Austin sigh.

“You need to make peace with your past, just as I needed to make peace with my own past.”

She jerked her eyes back to his.  “How can I accept how my father treated me when he isn’t around?”

“It seems to me you are mourning your past.    I am glad to hear you wrote your brother.  I hope he will contact you, but even if he doesn’t, I hope you know you did all you could, and you can let your past go.”

“I will think about what you said,” Lizzie told him sincerely.

“I have one more question.  Why have you been avoiding me?”

Lizzie hesitated then decided to tell him what happened at church.  She briefly explained what Mrs. Newell had accused her of because she was spending so much time at his home.  She had stopped coming because she didn’t want to cause any more problems.

Austin looked frustrated. “Mrs. Newell always likes to stir things up.  Did you get a visit from the schoolboard this week?”

Lizzie shook her head.

“I wouldn’t worry about it then.”

“How do you know they might not visit in the future?”

“Because I am on the schoolboard and I haven’t heard from anyone about this.  I think Mrs. Newell is the only one concerned about the situation.”

Lizzie was surprised to hear that Austin was on the board.  He hadn’t been with the group of men who had interviewed her for the position. Austin trailed a finger across her cheek.  He gazed at her with such warmth and longing, Lizzie caught her breath.   She almost moved away again, but then something made her stop.  She studied his face.  He had a dark shadow showing that he needed to shave and she found herself desperately wanting to reach up and touch his cheek.  He smiled gently at her and she could see deep laugh lines in his face.  She knew it was time she quit running away.

“Lizzie, I love you.”

Joy burst through her and she nodded. “I know.”  And she did know.  She could tell by the way he was looking at her now and how he had been treating her ever since Jessica’s accident.

“Can I ask how you feel about me?” he asked quietly.

Lizzie heard doubt in his voice, as if he was expecting her to push him away again, but she instantly made a decision that she would never do that again.  “Austin, I love you very much.”

Austin’s face lit up as he pulled her towards him in a hug.  “Then marry me.  Share my life with me.  Be a mother to Jessica and to the other children we may have.”  She noticed that he called his daughter by her full name of Jessica for the first time and it made her heart sing.

She hesitated for a moment. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure.  I want you to be my wife.”

“Then yes, I will marry you and be your wife, and mother to Jessica.”

Austin hugged her for a long time and Lizzie cherished the comfort and love she found in his arms.  Then he lifted her chin and gently kissed her.  She wanted him to deepen the kiss, but she knew she had the rest of her life to enjoy his kisses and his love.

“When can we get married?” he asked eagerly.

“When I signed the contract to teach, I also agreed to finish the entire school year and not marry during that time.  But hopefully since we are engaged to be married, there shouldn’t be any concern of my spending time here when I am not teaching.  I will talk to the schoolboard if I have to.  I refuse to pretend I don’t love you.”

Austin looked like he wanted to argue.

“I made a commitment to Pine Valley.  I want to keep that agreement,” Lizzie explained to him.

He finally nodded.  “Then promise me we will marry as soon as school has ended.”

“I promise,” Lizzie told him and sighed as he bent to kiss her again.  For the first time, she was looking forward to the future and not dwelling so much on her past.

The End

Coming soon, Debbie’s story, along with their brother, Owen.

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CONTACT INFORMATION

Please visit Zoe Matthews on the web!

Website:  www.zoematthewsromances.com

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/ZoeMatthews

OTHER BOOKS BY ZOE MATTHEWS

Orphan Train Romance Book Series

An Unexpected Family, Book 1

The Promise of a Family, Book 2

Big Spring Ranch:  Anna, Book 3

Big Spring Ranch:  Serena, Book 4

Big Spring Ranch:  Katrina, Book 5

Orphan Train Romance Series, Books 1 through 5

Westward Promises, Book 6

Westward Skies, Book 7

The Sorcerers of Xoralia Series

The Call, Book 1

(This book is Free on Amazon)

The Castle, Book 2

The World Within A World, Book 3

The Eternals, Book 4

The Battle, Book 5

The Sorcerers of Xoralia, Book 1 through 5

Majestic Mountain Ranch Romance Series

Colorado Dreams, Book 1

Sierra and Logan’s Story

Colorado Secrets, Book 2

Stephanie and Hunter’s Story

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Zoe started writing as a young teenager and has kept that passion alive throughout her life. At any one time she can be found relaxing and devouring a good western romance novel or gathering information for one of her own future books.

She loves living in the high mountain deserts of the western United States. Her hobbies include photographing desert landscapes and her adorable grandchildren as well as dabbling in watercolors.

Her perfect summer days would be spent up at the family cabin writing, painting, hiking and associating with family.