Avails- Escorting for the Elegant Woman
Author: Hannah Jay
Date: 2015-11-06 05:00:00+00:00
Publisher: Unknown

AVAILS

Escorting for the Elegant Woman

By Hannah Jay

Avails: Escorting for the Elegant Woman

Publication Date: November 6, 2015

Copyright © 2015 Hannah Jay

The author reserves all rights to this book and asserts her moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

The author may be contacted at:

hannah.obeyed@gmail.com

The author wishes to thank the proprietor and staff of Dating.com and skipthegames.com where much of the original material in this book was originally published.

The author also wishes to thank her wonderful editor, husband and muse. He will certainly have no reason to avail himself of the services described herein.

BEGINNINGS

Yikes!

The Avails Table of Contents is longer than some e-books. Well, yes.

Here’s the thing, while Avails is about escorting it is also a guide for girls who want to be savvy in the city. Girls who want to be the glossy, sleek, elegant creatures who may or may not be “kept”. You don’t have to be an escort or a mistress to enjoy this book.

There is a lot to say about glamour, sex, clothes, advertising, marketing, safety and all the styles of escorting, types of clients and innovative dates. Here’s a hint, put Avails on your phone and read pieces when you have a moment.

This is not a book for service providers. I don’t know much about that business. What I do know is how an elegant woman or a delightful ingénue can become a successful escort with a minimum of fuss and almost no bother.

“Money is the tribute age pays to beauty.” A quote which I found years ago in a book I’ve long since lost. I don’t for a second think escorting is for everyone; but I do think that a woman should always understand that it is not just something “bad girls” do. Nor is escorting reserved for the very beautiful, the ultra-slim or the sexually voracious. Escorts come in all shapes and sizes and while most girls start in their early twenties, there are plenty of escorts in their forties and on up.

Avails is not about “sex”. If you want tips on technique there are hundreds of useful books. Avails is not about sex because escorting is only tangentially about sex. Oh yes, activities between consenting adults happen more often than not; but that is not why the sort of man a smart girl wants to see is paying the high prices a smart girl charges.

Elegant women who escort know that the men who see them want the glamour, the fantasy and the luxury which only an escort or a mistress can provide. No clever girl wants to be in the service provider business; if she is to have the tribute age pays to beauty it will be on her terms.

Avails is about suggestions and inspiration and being savvy about a business which has existed for thousands of years. Most of all, Avails is about understanding the higher pleasures of the escort’s trade.

Enjoy!

1 - THE ESCORT DECISION

INTRODUCTION

Many years ago, as I was living in a strange city with little money, it occurred to me that escorting might be interesting. As luck would have it a very sweet man found himself in need of a mistress and I found myself in possession of a lovely loft with a water view. I had enough money to live simply but I must admit I wanted more.

I always enjoyed writing and responding to personal ads – this was well before the internet and you actually had to drop you copy off and pick up responses – and so, more or less for the sheer Hell of it, I placed an ad in the more doubtful section of the classifieds.

Pretty, articulate, young lady would like to meet generous gentleman callers.

That was it. In the doubtful section you could place a phone number, which I did, as well as my box number. The paper came out and my new, “business” line began to ring. Which, frankly, was a surprise. I had not really thought out what I was offering or, for that matter, what I would charge.

I flubbed a few calls but, eventually, managed to have a conversation with a very nice, older sounding man. I was very vague about the “activities” but assured him he would be delighted. At some level we connected. After a good deal of phone flirting he came to the point.

“And how much would this delightful evening set me back?” he asked. This was long before escorts advertised prices and I had no idea. In fact I was still pretty ambivalent about seeing paying gentlemen at all. My rent was $800 a month and I blurted out “$1000…and a bottle of good champagne.”

It turned out that I had quoted a rate just over three times the going rate for a top drawer escort in my city.

“You must be very special.” was all he said, “I’ll see you at eight.”

I was launched. And terrified. And exhilarated and completely at sea. What would we do? What would I do? What did he want? What could I give him to earn more than my rent in a few hours?

It turned out that I was a very lucky girl. My first “retail” client was just as nice as he sounded on the phone. He was older, or to be fair, I was very young and he was in his early forties. We ate a little smoked salmon which I had used my last eight dollars to buy and he brought a wonderful bottle of champagne. We talked and laughed and admired my view and when the champagne was down to its last glasses, we went upstairs and had a wonderful time. He’d left an envelope for me on my little hall table when he came in as I asked him to. But he also left another stack of bills as a tip on his way out. Sadly, he lived on another continent and I never saw him again.

All that I did not know on that first date is in this book. Most of all, what is in this book is a point of view.

Escorting at every level attracts a great deal of judgment. Nothing unites Puritans and feminists like a narrative about the fallen doves/oppressed women who sleep with men for money. Depending on who you listen to such women have no choice, are trafficked, cater to men’s baser instincts, have been sexually abused and somehow betray the sisterhood. It never occurs to most people that girls who become escorts may make a quite conscious decision to revel in the power which their femininity has given them.

Well, it occurred to me. As it does to thousands of women who work at the higher end of the escort market, live as courtesans or are happy being wealthy men’s mistresses. There is something deeply empowering about saying to a man, “Yes, I am expensive and I’m worth it.”

We live in a world of “hook-ups” and dateless sex. Sexuality has been sanitized and pornified and divorced from any sense of the illicit. The idea of maintaining a bit of mystery has been replaced with yoga pants for shopping. The pleasures of being a woman or a girl, have been lost beneath a veneer of equal rights and endless “appropriateness”.

Yet, the rise of the Internet, the ease of advertising and the creation of websites devoted to reviews of escorts, plus the regular eruptions of “escort” and “mistress” scandals all suggest that while men pay lip service to the “new world” they are more than happy to hire escorts. The fact there are thousands of escort ads and agencies suggests that the demand for escorts has not fallen.

Avails is a book about escorting for the elegant woman. Elegance is a funny thing. It is not about money. It is certainly not about designer clothes or spendy shoes; rather it is about a sensibility. A desire to live in a certain way. A capacity to understand a bigger world and to live as if you really do create your own world.

For an elegant woman escorting is a means to her ends. She begins secure in herself, in her taste, in her feminine grace, and she consciously opens herself to the possibility that men might be willing to spend significant money for her time. Which, in turn, will allow her to pursue her interests, passions and desires.

It is never an equal trade. The elegant woman always ensures that she comes out ahead. But it is a fair trade for her gentleman callers are given a glimpse of a pleasing, long lost, world. They are given respite from the stress and pressures of the world in which they make their living and raise their kids. They balance the scales with money. Lots of money.

You will not read a great deal about sex in Avails. It is off stage. Consenting adult activities and all that. At its most primitive escorting is about service provision. But the fact is that if a man wants a blow job he can have one for $50 amidst squalor. If that was what escorts were actually selling this would be a very short book.

The gentlemen who brought me champagne and roses and silky bits of pretty lingerie were feeding much deeper needs. As you read Avails I hope some of those needs will become apparent. But, at the risk of spoiling such plot as there is, my great gift was to pay attention, to listen, to provide a safe, warm, welcoming place where my clients could let down their guards and, for a few hours, be entirely themselves. If, and when, we went upstairs, my client was more relaxed and more, as the New Agers would say, “present” than he’d been in years.

As you read Avails you’ll see how the technology has changed. You’ll get a sense of how escorts can market themselves and you’ll certainly understand how I think many girls get all this very wrong. You’ll get my point of view.

Which is nostalgic. In many ways I think the girls coming up and the men who hire them have lost a good deal of the magic, a huge part of the imagination, which my gentlemen callers brought to my door.

Glamour, enchantment, a sense of transgressive possibility is becoming a dim memory in our pornified world. What used to be slightly wicked behind closed doors is now the gist of Ikea commercials. The risqué has become the catwalk. Fetish has become fashion.

With a little luck, Avails will remind its readers that the naughty is fun and that the feminine remains mysterious. With even more luck, it will inspire girls in the business to level up their business. To take three giant steps towards courtesanship.

It’s worth it. You’re worth it.

Table of Contents

BEGINNINGS

INTRODUCTION

1 | THE ESCORT DECISION

Is this your own decision?

Money

Sex

Meeting New People

Enjoying the Feminine

Planning

Outlook

Goals

Lifestyle

A Story

Putting it All Together

2 | THE ESCORT AS A LUXURY ITEM

Price is a Signal

Style

Details

Let the Luxury Market Find You

Sheep from Goats

Closing

Luxury Escorting

3 | LIKE A LADY

Seem A Dream

Radiate Presence

Look Famous

Travel Light

The Understatement Statement

Every Inch a Lady

4 | A PRIVATE LIFE

A Story

Your Privacy with Clients

Set Hard Limits

Have Plan B

Confidentiality and Discretion

5 | THE ART OF SELF-INVENTION

Looking for the Girl-Next-Door?

You Deserve the Best

Alternative Girl for Encounter

When Only the Best Will Do

Elegant Woman Seeking Interesting Man

6 | UP-MARKET ADS THAT WORK

Location, Location, Location

Selling the Sizzle

The Market

Headlines: Busses versus Limos

The Pitch

The Setting

Call to Action

Pictures

Beyond the Ad

7 | CONSIDER THE CAMERA

Use a Professional Photographer

Know Thy Self, Know Thy Market

Planning & Prep

Accessories & Props

Make a Shot List

Make-Up & Hair

Think Sexy

Have Fun

The End Result

Rinse and Repeat

8 | AN ESCORT’S OFFICE

Clean

Tidy

Organized

Editing

Step 1: MAKE A PLAN

Step 2: RE-ARRANGE

Step 3: COLOUR

Step 4: LIGHTING

Step 5: DETAILS

LINENS

FLOWERS

MUSIC

CANDLES

9 | LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

Address Matters

Privacy and Layout

Security and Safety

10 | GIVING GREAT PHONE (AND TEXTS AND EMAIL): A GUIDE FOR ESCORTS

Guidelines to Great Telephone Skills:

Does your business phone have good reception?

Do you know what you want AND need?

How user-friendly is your answering system?

What does your voice say about you?

Keep it short and sweet.

The Oh-So-Subtle Art of Etiquette

11 | DRESSING UP TO UP YOUR GAME

Rules:

Basics

Lingerie

Looking Expensive and Worth It

Gifts are their Own Reward

Moving your Brand Up-Market

12 | GET GLOSSY – LEVEL UP YOUR ESCORT LOOK

GORGEOUS HAIR

GORGEOUS SKIN

Mani/Pedi Perfection

Pearly Whites

Clean

A Touch of Sun – Or Not?

Glossy Girls Dress Simply

Jewelry, Bags and Shoes

Attitude

Ten Things an Escort Can’t Live Without

1. A SmartPhone

2. A Little Black Dress

3. Stockings

4. Candles

5. A Riding Crop

6. Your Favorite Vibe

7. Perfect Red lipstick

8. Great Towels and Sheets

9. Little Black Slip

10. Refreshment

Just the Essentials

13 | TIPS FOR “NO REGRETS” ESCORTING

Safety

No Regrets First Contact

No Regrets Encounters

Afterwards

Relax and Grow your Business

DATES

14 | RETRO GLAMOUR FOR THE MODERN ESCORT

Setting the Scene

Doing Retro Right

Snaps

Putting the “Call” into “Call Girl”

The Retro Date

Dressing

The Main Event

15 | FUN DATES FOR A CHANGE OF PACE

1. Headline:  Guys & Dolls

2. Headline:  Retro date

3. Headline: I’m In Charge

4. Headline: Private Paradise

5. Headline: Little Black Dress

16 | THE SUBTLE ART OF UNDRESSING

The Little Details:

1.              A soji screen

2.              A door

3.              Bed Curtains

Light

Clothes

Shoes

The Reveal

17 | ESCORTING IN A PORNIFIED WORLD

Some Do, Some Do Not

Another Way – Jill’s Indecent Proposal

18 | DOMINANT DATES THE EASY WAY

The Logic of Male Submission

Headline: I’m In Charge

Headline: Learn to Obey

Tools of the Trade

Dressing the Part

Showtime

19 | FRILLS: FEMINIZATION FOR FUN AND PROFIT

Cross Dressing: Veronica’s Way

First Cross Dressing Date

From Stylist to Domina

20 | FANTASY AND ROLE PLAY FOR ESCORTS

Dressing Up – Carol’s Closet of Fun

The Governess – Donna, a Serious Domina

21 | THE FEMININE ESCORT

What Are Men Missing?

Kaitlan – Girly and Gorgeous

Join Me

Reinventing the Feminine

22 | IT’S ABOUT ME? MARKETING FOR THE SHY ESCORT

Standing Out in the Market

Shy Girl for You

Leah: Shyly Successful

Make Me Your Mistress

Tricia: Change the Ad, Change the Business

23 | TRAVEL - THE LONGEST DATE

Business First

Business or Pleasure

Arrangements

What to Pack

The Long Date

24 | SEEKING ARRANGEMENT

A Mistress

Preparation

Time and Exclusivity

CLIENTS

25 | AN ESCORT’S GUIDE TO OLDER MEN

Rachel: Old Wine in New Bottles

Older Men Prefer Ladies

26 | ESCORTING IN THE ASIAN MARKET

Specializing in the Asian Market

Formality as a cultural bridge

Theory to Practice: Lauren’s Chinese Only Escorting

The Asian Advantage

27 | ESCORTING YOUNGER MEN

Candace: Tech and Time

Kali: GamerGirl and More

28 | THE PROMINENT CLIENT

Who is High Profile? And How Can an Escort Tell?

Booking and Screening

In-Call or Out-Call

Ultra VIPs

Money

Ongoing

29 | Event Escorting

The Real Events

Thinking Ahead

Marketing – Welcome to the Internet, Again

A Note On Pricing

Booking

His Own, Private Event

An Island of Calm

30 | THE ART OF ARM CANDY

Pricing Perfection

On Occasion

Manners Maketh the Muse

Pay Attention

Too Good to Be True?

31 | DON’T GET CAUGHT: A PRIMER FOR MEN

An Ounce of Prevention

Stealth

Busted

How Not to Get Caught: Take Two

32 | TEN REASONS WHY ESCORTS ARE NO THREAT TO WIVES

Alphas Stray

Escorts Protect Marriages

•              An Escort Does Not Wish to Marry Your Husband

•              Safety

•              A Professional Situation

•              Married Sex is not Escort Sex

•              Fetishes

•              The Expense is Controlled

•              Limited Drama

•              An Escort Will Not Fall in Love With Your Husband

•              An Escort Listens

•              Escorts Can Restore Men

Escorts are Good for Marriages?

32 | Man Talking – The Art of Conversation for Escorts

Why Men Come

Active Listening

Setting the Stage

The Close: From Random to Regular

ESCORTING STYLES

33| ESCORTING: LOCAL, NATIONAL OR WORLD-WIDE?

High Rolling: Monica Loves New York City

Business Time: Kim’s Capital Class

Strictly Local: Jessie’s Beachside Business

Global, Local or In Between

33 | CREATIVE ESCORTING

Erin: Meet Cute, One Night Stand

Anisë: The Patron Experience

Gwen: Road Trip

34 | ESCORTING DIFFERENT

Anonymous: Much Depends on Dinner

Claire: Rent a Girlfriend

Escorting with a Difference

35 | DOES SIZE MATTER FOR AN ESCORT?

Making the Most of Your Assets

Womanly

Talking with Stella - Fresh Cinnamon Buns

Size versus Style

36 | AN ESCORT TAKES CHARGE

A Decision

The Escorting Dynamic

Gillian: Every Inch a Lady

The Escort’s Value

37 | ESCORTING: A DYNAMIC DUO

CamGirls

Live

Vintage Fun

Honest Escorts

38 | IVY LEAGUE ESCORTING

Sugar versus Escort

All Ivy: Smart Tips for Smart Girls

Putting It All Together

39 | MATURE ESCORTS

Headline: Elegance & Experience

Headline: Mature, Erotic, Gracious

Headline: Here’s to you Mrs. Robinson

An Older Woman

40 | SUBURBAN AND SMALL TOWN ESCORTING

Candace: In a Suburb Near You

Jill: In a Small Town By a River

Lisa: The Life of the Party

41 | ESCORTING WHEN YOU WORK FULL TIME

Time Management

Booking

Keeping Work and Escorting Separate

Escorting Strategically

Starting at the Top

Balance

42 | THE SOMETIMES GIRL

Targeting

All Business on the Outside, All Pleasure Within

Pretty Young Business Student

43 | ULTRA-PART-TIME ESCORTING

Kendra – Beauty on Occasion

Terry – Room Service

Helen – Twice a Week, Never on Sunday

Occasional Escorting

A Higher Level

44 | THINKING STRATEGICALLY FOR ESCORTS

Alix – From Random to Planned

Donna – Dominating the Market

Ten Strategic Planning Tips

WRITE IT DOWN:

SET GOALS:

SET DEADLINES:

BUDGET:

BUDGET FOR A PROFIT:

RESOURCES:

OVERCOME OBSTACLES:

BRAINSTORM:

BE FLEXIBLE:

Long Term Strategy

Taking Time

45 | ESCORTING BY THE NUMBERS

Numbers

A Grain of Salt

Using the Numbers

46 | TEN ESCORT MISTAKES AND HOW TO AVOID THEM

1.              Ignoring your Health

2.              Doing the same thing over and over

3.              Forgetting that Marketing is an everyday thing

4.              Taking your Escorting Regulars for granted

5.              Pacing

6.              Too Much Cash

7.              Forgetting that Escorting is a Business

8.              Isolation

9.              Missing Opportunities

10.              Burnout

47 | MANAGING ESCORT REVIEWS

A longer view

A Relaxed Approach

Getting Active

Dealing with Bad Reviews

Using your reviews

Perspective

48 | ESCORT VIDEO – DIY WITH YOUR SMARTPHONE

Planning

The Shot List

Naked Or Not?

Not quite ready for Prime Time? Start with a Video Selfie

Kick it up a Notch

49 | THE INTERNET & THE ESCORT

A Blog

Posting

Design

Social Media

50 | GIRL ON THE GO: ESCORTING IN A MOBILE WORLD

Your Phone – Using Cyber Smarts

Basic Security

For Your Eyes Only

Above and Beyond

Making It Work for the Working Girl

Marketing to Mobile

Go Local

Now he’s found you…

Mobiles and Regulars

An Age of Miracles and Wonders

51 | EVOLVING YOUR ESCORT BUSINESS

Efficiency

Tempo and Pacing

Big Fish, Little Fish

Old Fish, New Fish

Hire a Booker

Increase your Revenue

52 | BUILDING YOUR ESCORT NETWORK

Clients

Other Escorts

Civilians in the Right Places

Networks work

53 |CASH

Habit #1: Think of yourself as being a business woman.

Habit #2: Net Earnings

Habit #3: Think of your expenses as an investment.

Habit #4: Have a system.

Habit #5: Have a story.

Habit #6: Bank.

Habit #7: Build your financial profile.

Habit #8: Mix your income.

Habit #9: Pay your taxes.

Habit #10: Pay Forward.

Habit #11: Save 10-15% of after-tax money.

Habit #12: Get and pay for advice.

Habit #13: Have a Day Job

54 | OFF-TIME FOR THE AMBITIOUS ESCORT

Education

Interning

Exercise

Mindfulness

Someone to Talk To

55 | After Escorting

What next?

One thing leads to another

Avoid the Blank Spot

The Intern Option

Your own Business

Partnering

Serious Travel

Marriage

56 | A QUICK GUIDE TO STOCKINGS

Vintage Stockings

57 | An Escort’s Guide to Corsets

Novelty and Beyond

Vavoom!

Creating the Illusion

The Real Deal

Dressed for Success

Out of the Ordinary

1 | THE ESCORT DECISION

Deciding to become an escort is, for many women, a conscious choice about taking advantage of a business opportunity.  The decision to sell your time to men who would like companionship is often what launches a girl into the escort world. Here are a few factors to consider when you are thinking about escorting.

Is this your own decision? When contemplating escorting, there can be a variety of factors which will influence your decision. However, deciding to be an escort must be a one’s own choice. After all, you will be the person doing the escorting. Others may try to influence your decision, but even if they are well meaning, they cannot know whether you have what it takes to be an escort.

Money Making several hundred dollars for an hour or so of work is very enticing. It is even more appealing if you are unemployed or in a money pinch.

There is no question that women who escort do so primarily for financial reasons. However, becoming an escort is not necessarily going to lead to riches unalloyed. Escorting is a business. It is a service business which means you make money by selling your time. So when you are thinking about the money you might make as an escort, you also need to think about how you are going to actually go about selling that time.

Which brings up the question: Are you entrepreneurial? The more successful escorts spend a lot of their time marketing their services: they run escort ads, solicit reviews, and run their escort website. Does running your own service business appeal to you?

Sex Do you like sex? Enjoy pleasuring men? Enjoy seduction and being seduced? The legal concept behind escorting is that a girl is perfectly free to sell her time and that sex, like board games or a great dinner, is an option between consenting adults. As it always is. That said, it is an option than many of an escort’s clients will exercise if they have the opportunity. And successful escorts usually ensure that that opportunity arises.

But when a girl is deciding whether or not the escorting world is for her, she needs to think about how she feels about very casual, non-emotionally entangled sex. Many escort dates will end in the bedroom and the ability to have sex with a relative stranger is important to the success of an escort enterprise.

Meeting New People Do you like meeting people? Are you shy? An escort will meet new people every day. She has to get along with others, and she has to be able to assess who they are, and whether they are the sort of person she wants to do business with.

Most escorts develop what might be called a “game face” which they bring to first encounters. A good game face lets the escort interact with her clients without having to expose her own personality too much. Even a girl who is normally very shy around men can create a game face for her encounters which lets her slip into her escort persona.

At the same time, girls who are not shy can have a great time meeting and getting to know their escort clients. While escorting is a business, it is also a very social business, and for an outgoing girl, being an escort means being able to encounter, charm, and seduce new men every day.

Enjoying the Feminine While escorts can adopt any persona they want, ultimately what they are offering is female companionship. And they are offering a fantasy which is rooted in the feminine.

When a girl is considering becoming an escort, she needs to think carefully about which aspects of her femininity she is most comfortable with. Is she a lace and frills girly-girl or a no-nonsense type? In-charge or submissive? While most women are a mix of all of the above - and a lot more besides - the successful escort will pick a “style” for her persona and work with that.

Which elements of your femininity you decide to focus on in your escort business will help to determine everything from your lingerie to your preferred clientele and even the décor of the space you use for escorting encounters. For your clients, their encounters will be infused with the feminine focus you choose. It won’t be to every client’s taste, but the men who click with your focus, may well become your loyal regulars.

Planning  Deciding whether or not to explore the escorting world implies a plan, even if that plan is only to place an escorting ad and look at the responses. Are you good at making decisions, operating under pressure? Then being an independent escort may be for you. Not so good at going out on a proverbial limb? Then, sharing your escorting fees with a reputable agency may make more sense for you. An agency lets a girl concentrate on escorting itself while leaving advertising, booking, screening, and security up to the agency. It also is a way for a new girl to learn the ropes before she launches out on her own.

For a girl beginning as an escort, there is another element which is important – how do you see your escorting career? Escorting work comes in many varieties – a basic service provider is light years away from an exclusive high-end call girl; who is equally distant from a well-kept mistress; but each girl is essentially providing female companionship. Where do you want to be?

As a girl is making the decision to escort, and considering what sort of escort she wants to be, she needs to be realistic about how she is going to make that happen. This sort of early planning lets an escort set goals, and actually progress in her profession. Being adaptable is paramount; as is assessing what works and letting go of what isn’t.

Outlook How do you see at the world? Escorting, like any service business, has its down days. Difficult clients, missed bookings, escort ads which fail to draw customers – all sorts of things can, and do, go wrong. The question is how an escort handles the inevitable ups and downs of the business.

People who start their own businesses tend to be optimists. Having an positive outlook means that when the business is not going exactly as you hoped it would be, you bounce back, you re-group, you try another tract. At the same time, people who succeed in business, especially service businesses, are also very realistic.

Optimism and realism are an escort’s allies whether she is meeting a date or planning an advertising campaign. When meeting an client, an escort needs to be upbeat. She has to look forward to the encounter, be comfortable with her fee, and enjoy her pretty dress or silky lingerie. But, for her own safety and sanity, she also must be realistic about her escorting encounters – from the moment he calls or writes, an escort needs to be screening her date. A keen realism and a perceptiveness, or intuition helps to ensure that the escort is not fooled by the occasional less than genuine or honest client.

Goals Becoming an escort can be anything from a past-time to a profession, but in any case, when you are making the decision, you should have a goal or even several goals. Your goals will guide you whether you are in it for the short or the long term.

Short term goals like, “Pay my tuition” is a finite, number-defined goal.  If tuition is $2000 a semester, you can calculate how many dates at what rate you would have to do to reach that goal. Or a goal can be open-ended: “make enough money to live nicely while keeping most of my day free for my art/starting my business/finishing my book”. This type of goal gives a girl the time and flexibility to work out everything from her escort pricing, to how many days a week she wants/needs to work.

It is worthwhile to pay attention to the alternatives escorting. Reaching a short term goal may mean doing a number of dates at fairly low rates simply to make the money. A longer term, open-ended goal requires more thought: how can you maximize your revenue while minimizing the hours you are actually working?

When you are setting your escort goals, remember to be optimistic but realistic. If the standard escort rate in your city is $200 an hour you need to recognize that it will be difficult to make a great deal more than that.

Goals don’t always have to be about money. Deciding that you want to take a year to travel is a perfect long-term goal, but only you can determine how much money you would require to make that happen. Staying in hostels is a very different number than sleeping at five-star hotels. This all influences how long and how hard you are going to have to work to meet your objectives.

Lifestyle Escorting, even part-time escorting, is a surprisingly demanding profession. You have to be “up” for each of your dates. Which means taking care of yourself. Before you decide to escort, running a quick check on your lifestyle is a good idea.

Begin with the basics: are you healthy? Having a checkup is a good idea before you begin escorting. Then take a look at your diet. If your junk food vs. healthy home cooking ratio is heavy on the take-out,  you will need to adjust the ratio. Drinking? A glass of wine is delightful and sometimes three are great fun. But make sure you have control on your drinking before you think about escorting. Drugs are never a good idea, and an even worse one if you are an escort. It can be an easy down-hill slide if you are not mindful and careful. Don’t let that happen to you.

On the positive side, what do you do for exercise? You don’t have to be a gym bunny to be an escort but being fit certainly helps. More importantly, getting exercise every day, even if it is simply a twenty minute walk, does wonders for your complexion, your body and, critically, your attitude.

Coming to escorting from a healthy place will let you adjust to the escort world easily and with a capacity to make the most of your opportunities. You are in control, not the other way around.

A Story Most escorts keep their escorting very separate from the rest of their lives. To do this convincingly, you will need a general cover story which will explain to friends and family why you are not available at certain times. Keep it simple. Something as easy as being an on-call “personal assistant” will cover almost any eventuality.

Before you become an escort, it is a good idea to check in with yourself about how you feel about leading a somewhat double life. And you might also consider how you would deal with the possibility that someone you know will discover what you are really doing. There are no right answers here, just your own sense of who you are.

Putting it All Together

The decision to escort is different for every woman who makes it. If you are thinking of becoming an escort all of the factors listed above can be part of your decision-making process. As much as anything, the choice to be, or not to be (an escort), is really about balance. On the one side is, money, of course; but money is the final result of what you are bringing to the escort business. Success is up to you.

If you enter the escort world, you’ll be extremely busy before you ever see a single client: picking your escort persona; determining your preferred clientele; setting your prices; choosing where you will advertise; and setting the extent of your online presence will all add up to establishing your escort brand.

All these factors, and many more, will be much easier if you take your time deciding if escorting is for you.

2 | THE ESCORT AS A LUXURY ITEM

In a recent Economist article on escorting, one escort explained that for most of her clients, hiring an escort was “a luxury”. Which, when you stop and think about it, is certainly true. However, working through the idea of an escort encounter being a luxury item has some significant implications for escorts.

Luxury is a market segment all on its own. We most commonly associate it with designer fashion, uber expensive handbags, five-star hotels, amazing watches and very fast cars. Well-known and well-recognized luxury brands include Cartier, Tiffany, Hermes, Chanel, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Ferrari, Lamborghini, The Ritz, and dozens of other niche players. The world-wide value of the luxury goods market is on the order of $300 billion dollars and the market is growing 3-5% a year.

Now, other than coveting these designer labels, a business savvy escort should be asking – But what does this have to do with my business? The answer is that when an escort is considering how she wants her business to operate, it is worthwhile examining how the luxury business actually works.

Price is a Signal

Kate Spade makes very nice handbags. A top-handle, leather Kate Spade bag on her website comes in at $398. Prada also makes lovely bags. A top-handle, leather, Prada bag on its website starts at $1,995 and goes as high as $10,200. (Interestingly, the most expensive of the top-handled bags is the only one which does not have the Prada label on the outside of it – apparently discretion is the ultimate luxury.)

So, other than price, what’s the difference? Well, functionally, not a lot. The Prada leather may be a little finer and the stitching a bit more precise; but the reality is that each will keep your wallet, smart phone, and lipstick where you can find them.

The actual difference is two-fold: first, brand cachet. A Prada bag signals status, affluence and style; secondly, target market and volume. Kate Spade is practically the signature bag of the middle class soccer mum. While there are nearly 100 Kate Spade stores, the bags are also available in upmarket department stores in malls. Prada, is aimed at the affluent. While Prada bags are available in high-end stores like Saks, Nordstrom’s, and Neiman Marcus, the full range is only available at their flagship stores.

A Prada bag costs nearly ten times as much as a Kate Spade bag and style conscious women know that. The effect is that while Kate Spade is certainly practical and tasteful, it lacks the distinction of Prada. Kate Spade may very well sell ten times as many bags – numbers in the fashion business are tough to get – but many (I’d say “all”, but I’m sure my editor would accuse me of hyperbole) of the women who have Kate Spade bags aspire to Prada.

So how does an escort become a luxury purchase? How can a girl position herself in the upper echelon of the market? And just what is it that sets the $1,000 an hour escort apart from the $100 one? Obviously, hiring an escort is not a necessity, and most escorts earn the average rate for the city they live in. But, like the luxury goods we just discussed, there exists a small but desirable end of the market for which a higher price signals a more desirable experience. The price indicates that this escort is offering something special.

One of our luxury escort friends explained it this way,

My clients only buy the best. How do they tell what is the best? Sure, they look at my website and my pictures; but there are lots of pretty girls in the escorting business. So they look at my fees.

They are used to paying $750 to $1,000 an hour for their lawyers and their accountants. Their wife has just bought one of those bags which cost as much as a car. My rates are a little shocking, but compared to the bag or the lawyer? Well, as one client told me, “Once in a while you have to treat yourself.”

I get the occasional call where the prospective client thinks my fee is a misprint, an extra zero. Or they will challenge me to justify my rate compared with the other lower priced escorts. I am beautiful, highly educated, and well-traveled. So I tell them you get what you pay for, and if you don’t like my fee, then call someone cheaper. Many are so darn curious, and impressed at my audacity that they book with me. But the majority of my calls are from gentlemen for whom a couple of thousand dollars is what they might spend on a client dinner or a really good half case of wine.

Having high fees means that I don’t waste a lot of time with men I really don’t want to see. They take a look at the rates and don’t call. Saves me a lot of time. I want quality not quantity.

Style

To move up the luxury ladder even further, take a look at a Hermes handbag. Each one is sleek, understated, predominantly in a neutral colour and without much in the way of ornamentation. They are the very opposite of “bling”.

Style is difficult to get right, but it is very easy to get wrong. Developing a style, and ultimately a signature style, is the escort’s first order of business. The fact is that if an she is going to be expensive, she has to look expensive. A glance at Town and Country or Tatler magazine reveals one of the great secrets of the jet set: they wear well-made, expertly tailored clothes, real jewelry, minimal make-up, and great shoes. And they wear it well, with a slender physique, luminous skin, and glossy hair. In other words, they spend time and money taking care of themselves.

For an escort wanting to charge luxury rates, cultivating a polished look is critical. It does not have to be expensive, it does have to be impeccable. A crisp white cotton shirt and a Dior-inspired pencil skirt and nipped-waist jacket can be found in vintage and consignment shops. Seek out classic lines in exquisite natural fabrications (silk, wool, cashmere for example), in shapes that fit and flatter. From day to evening; casual to elegant, you will always look well-dressed.

Details

Luxury is also about getting the little things right. A great haircut, perfect nails should be givens. Absolutely fabulous accessories like a bold cuff bracelet, a brilliantly bright scarf and, yes, an envy-enciting handbag, are all part of the panache you are after.

An escort can learn a lot from the luxury brands leaders and one of the key lessons is that understated looks far more expensive than fussy, complicated and overwrought.

Let the Luxury Market Find You

When a man is looking for an escort, he has all sorts of options as to where to look. If he’s looking, he has already decided to give himself a treat, the question is, will that treat be you?

Escort clients divide themselves into market segments just as ladies shopping for a handbag do. For some escort clients, price is the most important factor. They make their selection based mainly on price. These bargain shoppers may be a large part of the market, but the luxury level escort avoids these clients like the plague. Deal hunting defeats the logic of the escorting experience as a luxury.

At the same time, the places where the bargain hunters look – Backpages and other online advertising venues – can be a great place for luxury hunters to find your services. The trick is to stand out amidst the ASCII characters and the 36DDs. A simple, stylish, enigmatic ad can ensure that the luxury seeking client finds you.

Some examples:

Beautiful, stylish, one-of-a-kind woman seeks sophisticated, charming gentleman with taste and discernment for intimate encounters and more.

Living life in the fast lane? No time to smell the roses? Enjoy the finer things in life with a gorgeous, sensual Masters student with time to teach you the erotic arts. Downtown loft, but willing to join you for travel adventures by yacht, jet, or other elegant conveyances.

Tall, leggy blond model moonlighting as an exclusive escort for selective gentlemen. Looks great on the arm of a tuxedo, brilliant at dinner or cocktail conversation, and can make your heart race faster than your Porche.

Sheep from Goats

When a girl decides to offer her escorting services to the luxury market, she is changing the way in which she does business. Instead of taking on all clients who meet the basic screening criteria, she is looking to find a small, but exclusive clientele who are discerning enough to appreciate the luxury they are purchasing.

The math here is actually pretty compelling. In most large cities there are hundreds of escorts competing for the low and mid ranges of the market where the bulk of the clients actually are. Thus you have a lot of price and service competition. At the upper end of the market however, there is less competition but, in principle, fewer potential clients.

For a girl looking to develop her escort brand in the luxury end of the market, raw numbers mean very little. To provide the luxury experience she cannot possibly see more than a dozen clients a week and, realistically, half a dozen of the right sort of client makes more sense.

A luxury escort is never in a hurry to get to business. A fact which she makes a virtue of. A booking call to an exclusive escort, unless the caller is a regular, does not proceed in the ordinary manner. Right from “Hello,” the potential client is in for a huge treat whether he is allowed to book the escort or not. And that is the critical question, for this escort there is always the decision as to whether she will entertain any particular caller.

While some luxury escorts will accept bookings directly over the phone – especially from out of town clients – some prefer to meet their potential client first. Although that takes time as the escort has to be dressed up, made up, and entirely entrancing for what is almost certainly a no cash encounter. But for the luxury escort this is time well spent because each meeting is an investment in her brand. And, a man who is paying a premium price for an escort, may well want to meet her before he commits to booking. An ad and a photograph give an insight, but meeting face to face tells him if you are his cup of tea.

The preliminary encounter almost always take place at an elegant café or charming, quiet bar. The escort will have told her prospective client to leave his name with the maître d' or hostess so that when she arrives, always exactly on time, she is lead directly to her prospective client’s table.

And so she assesses. Does he rise to meet her? Does he shake hands? If he does, does he have the firm grip of a successful man or is it a bit weak? Not a deal breaker, but she notices.

Ring finger? It can be one of three things: wearing a wedding ring, having a telltale ring “tan”, or bare. The ring tan is a flaw but not a fatal one. It suggests that the potential client is concerned that you will know he is married. Which suggests either naiveté (doesn’t he realize that many of her clients are married?), or a lack of confidence in the discretion and worldliness of the escort.

Years ago, one would check a man’s watch for the unmistakable signs of both wealth and taste. Now many men do not wear watches, using their phones for time-keeping and, sadly, there are far more counterfeit Rolexes than real ones. The watch is now more about the gentleman’s refined taste than an indicator of status. The escort can probably tell more about him by looking carefully at his shoes. Even the most casual outfit brings with it footwear and the state of his shoes, their polish, condition, and style will often reveal much more about the man than the outfit itself.

What is her prospective client wearing? Again, years ago, the suit and tie were de rigeur and still are in some cities and professions. However, in many others a T-shirt and blue jeans may be the indicators of the entrepreneur or an artsy or high-tech industry. The actual outfit is less significant than the quality. Ralph Lauren does casual wear, so does Costco. One of these things is not like the other, to quote Sesame Street.

On a less superficial level, the escort takes in everything from her prospective client’s appearance, to his demeanor, to how he interacts with the service staff, and, of course, with her. Since she has already done the online vetting any escort will do with a new client, now she wants to get to know the man. Rather obviously, she does not pull out a clip board and check list. Rather a luxury escort will guide the conversation in directions which will give her a picture of who she is dealing with. Generally, people like to talk about themselves if they are comfortable in the environment and open-ended questions offer a lead to conversation. Vacations, sports, movies, favorite cuisines and restaurants – all give a glimpse into the prospective client’s interests and personality. In all you say, you should make it apparent that you respect his privacy. If he offers information about his business, fine. If not, you might ask a general question like what type of work he does, but never in a prying sort of way.  And a well-mannered gentleman will always give the woman the opportunity to talk about herself as well.

The power dynamic in a vetting encounter is a delicate balance. On the one hand, she is interviewing a prospective client so is very much in charge; on the other, she is being judged as being either suitable or unsuitable. She is both the seller and the merchandise, offering the promise of performance and pleasure by way of a very expensive and exclusive service. She is putting herself on display before a buyer.

Like any other appointment, the preliminary interview has a time limit frame: forty-five minutes to an hour is more than enough time for both parties to form an impression.

Closing

Some potential clients, and  some potential escorts will fail their audition. For one reason or another it isn’t going to happen. A graceful exit can be achieved by nothing more than smile, a handshake, and a thank you. Conclude the conversation without any drama or hurt feelings. You are both adults. It’s a big, wide world. There are other clients; there are other luxury model escorts.

One luxury girl I know is very much a master of this.

“I have a little daybook in my bag and a pretty Mont Blanc ladies pen. If I decide to take a man on my roster, I get out my book just as we are at the end of our first drink and say something like, ‘Thank you so much for the drink. I’d very much like to see you again in more intimate surroundings.’ Then I uncap the pen and open my book, ‘How would this Thursday around 5:00 work for you?’”

“The best part about this is that the gentleman is now on the spot, but still in some control. He can make the date, suggest another one, or demur altogether. But if he hesitates I almost always strike him off the list. I don’t need indecision in my business. Once he is booked, I give him my pretty card with the time and date.”

However, if the encounter goes well, a man may suggest an encounter immediately. There is nothing to require a girl to leave, save another appointment. If you schedule interviews on days where you are otherwise un-booked you at least have the option.   Some escorts do, some do not. Our luxury girl will, on occasion.

Luxury Escorting

Once a girl sets herself up to be a luxury escort and raises her rates accordingly, she enters a rather rarified world. The expectations are a sky higher, the money is much better and the actual work is more congenial.

Our luxury escort friend puts it like this,

What the escort is really offering is a mistress experience on a time share basis. Most of my clients could afford to keep a mistress but they don’t want the commitment or the potential hassle. The selling point of a luxury escort is that she lets her clients know they really are worth it. And so is she. It is much more than sex…it’s a complete, confidential, discreet relationship.

Now, isn’t that a luxury!

3 | LIKE A LADY

In the fashion world, there is a wonderful word for a certain timeless elegance: ladylike. It is an expression the escort world rarely uses perhaps because its implications are lost on many modern clients. Instead escorts are generally referred to as high-end or high-class or up-market or up-scale. Which, I’m afraid, rather misses the point.

Leave escorting to one side, people don’t actually speak of other people as high-end – they say that about kitchen appliances. Up-market refers to condominiums. People talking about women will use words like pretty, stylish, beautiful, elegant and sometimes, even, ladylike. How would someone describe you? Not sure? Then it’s time to refine your image.

Escorts rely for a large measure of their business on advertising. Writing good advertising copy is an art; and one that an ambitious escort should master. Why? Because words matter.

When an escort is marketing herself, using the right words attracts the target market. If you are seeking affluent and sophisticated clients, then you need to use words and images in a style which will send just the right message. Try to key in on adjectives that are descriptive, but specific. And do try to be creative and original. If you want to stand out from the other ads your ad must look and be different.

Seem A Dream

The experience an escort sells at the top end of the marketplace is nine parts fantasy; and quite out of the ordinary realm of typical male experience. Let’s take a look at some of the jargon that goes on in escort ads and what to steer clear of.

Model Quality  is an awful term made all the worse when it appears in escort ads. While many very expensive girls are beautiful, a lot more are simply attractive girls who have invested in good photography, good lighting, and know their way around a makeup table and a blowdryer. The gentleman paying top dollar for an encounter with such an escort knows what he is looking for – and getting. Certainly there are plenty of models more than willing – for the right price – to provide their company, however most males are looking for attributes other than perfect facial symmetry.

Crème de le Crème.  It is tempting to think that the top escorts are brilliant in bed. No doubt some have exceptional skills, but technique is rarely the draw. The fact is that what one man enjoys in bed, another man will find ho hum.

Luxe Life.  Of course it is lovely if a girl has a glorious flat or is staying in a grand hotel; but a lump of coal in a Tiffany box is not a diamond.

Label Love. An escort charging premium rates can certainly afford designer clothes; but designer clothes will not define a successful encounter at the top of the market. In fact, many men will not really notice if you are wearing a Gap skirt, or head-to-toe Chanel. Choose style over fashion for a wardrobe that lasts for years. Develop a signature look. As the Ms. Coco Chanel herself so succinctly stated, Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman.

Radiate Presence

A top-flight escort would never be distinguishable as one. Indeed, she is noticed because she looks like a well-off, well-dressed woman of the world. This is a matter of good taste and good grooming (and usually good genes and a pinch of good luck to boot). The overall effect is polished. But it isn’t just a case of expensive clothes or sleek hair. As always, it starts with the basics:

This woman is attractive, yes, but there are other women of greater beauty who don’t get as much attention as she does because she has something else–presence.

To carry oneself with confidence, means walking as if you know exactly where you’re going. You may not; but appearances say so. We aren’t talking fierce confidence here, rather confidence with grace. To be composed, deliberate, is to stride, to glide. Ladies do not slouch, hunch their shoulders or drop their chins. They hold their heads high, their shoulders back ,and their backs straight. When an escort does the same thing she will find, that by simply altering her posture, she will look taller, thinner, more authorative. This may seem daunting, but remember Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady learning to walk (like a lady) with a book on her head? In fact you can hardly find a better example of beauty, grace, and true elegance as Audrey Hepburn herself. Watch and learn. Practice.

Look Famous

Making top dollar as an escort is very much a matter of assuming you are worth it  - and charging accordingly. Which is, believe it or not, very ladylike behaviour. Ladies are not to be confused with high maintenance women or whiny suburban princesses with more money than taste. Real ladies recognize that dressing like a lady will lead directly to being treated like a lady. And significantly, they wear the dress; the dress doesn’t wear them.

Travel Light

In practice, a lady, and an escort learning the value of ladylike behaviour, lives by the maxim that The more you know, the less you need. A hundred pairs of the wrong shoes never add up to the right pair of shoes. Thirty tubes of red lipstick is never the same as one tube of the perfect shade for you. Become an expert on yourself.

An escort, with all those delightful dollars coming through the door in crisp hundreds, can easily be tempted to buy lots of new and shiny things. It is in the nature of having a serious cash income. Retail Therapy is a serious problem for many women; rich and poor. The actual bills themselves don’t seem terribly substantial; a new car does. Don’t be drawn into this delusion. Adopt minimalism, or the Buddhist view of possessions. Live below, not above, your means. Put your cash in the bank and forget about it until you really need it.

When you look at a lady, one of the things which is immediately apparently is that has high standards and doesn’t compromise. In fact, she would rather do without,  than wear or carry something second-rate. She favours simplicity, and quality. Vintage fits the bill because the careful craftsmanship and quality materials from earlier eras cannot be found today at a comparable price. In the bargain, she has things that no one else does. A true style maven and trend-setter without trying to be.

The Understatement Statement

Less really is more, and as the aspirant escort moves towards ladylike perfection she continually edits her look. Let’s face it, we all make the occasional mistake. Shopping with a friend who adores colour may lead to something quite garish when coupled with your clothes, or purchasing on a whim what actually looked better in the store than on you. You must be your own harshest fashion critic - and have a ready place to send the errors to: thrift stores, consignments stores, church sales and the like are all eager for good merchandise.

While the occasional bold pattern and colour is brilliant on a scarf, your wardrobe should not look like a rainbow. The end result is that nothing goes with anything. And so you must keep looking and buying something to go with A, B, and C. Expensive and exasperating if your cash and closets are limited. By opting, instead for a tonal-colour palette (black/grey/navy plus white/cream) means that all your shoes will go with all your dresses and any top will go with any skirt. Save your hits of colour for your accessories. Nothing looks chicer than a black suit, crisp white shirt, with a fiery red handbag. Mix and match at its finest.

You can tell a lot about a woman by the handbag she carries. The stylish will carry a classic, well-made purse, not the bag du jour or one masquerading as a suitcase. Eschew buckles, tassels, large designer initials (well, perhaps the coupled Cs of Chanel and the stylized H of Hermes), in favour of clean lines with little by way of  adornment. Instead look to the luxurious: crocodile, alligator, butter-soft leathers, geometric clasps.

What ladies know, and you should, is that a good tailor makes all the difference. Your clothes should fit you perfectly. Kate, the Dutchess of Cambridge, has taken this tact and her bespoke wardrobe is the envy of women worldwide. If you are very thrifty and handy, learn to sew yourself. Simply nipping in the waist of a dress will take it from demure to body-conscious.

Simple lines, tailored fit, monochrome palette,: these are the hallmarks of a lady’s wardrobe, accessories and, ultimately, her home and her office. But they are not the lady, rather they reflect her.

Every Inch a Lady

International courtesans, the yacht girls, and the exclusive call-girls bring far more to their encounters than mere enthusiasm and a willingness to play-for-pay. An escort may successfully catch the eye of a man of discernment and immense wealth. She may move from escort to mistress, or exchange clients for a patron. Money is big part of the arrangement, but more than cash may exchange hands. Jewelry, cars, condos, holidays. Gifts of generosity which also indicate that he knows her tastes.  As lover and companion, she expects, just like any lady, good manners, charming behavior, and the delights of the good life.

By learning the ways of the lady, she had become a lady herself. But with one huge difference: she does not play by the traditional rules. Instead she offers all the style, intelligence and wit of a lady, but for a price rather than a commitment.

All escorts at this level understand the implicit tradeoff they are making. Not for her the house, the kids and the bonds of commitment. She is an independent women working for her own account. Probably not forever; but for now.

4 | A PRIVATE LIFE

Keeping your working life as an escort private is a matter of choice. Some girls don't care, others think their privacy is a matter of utmost importance.

What most escorts will agree on, is that their privacy should be their decision. The suggestions below are all at a girl's discretion. Make those which are right for you but remember, if you don't make them, someone else can and, very likely, will.

Who are you?
You are your name. You are your social security number. Your picture. Your address. Your phone number. Your driver's license. Facebook page. Web page. Social media profile. Grad picture. Mug shot and every picture you have ever posted on the Internet.

You are also socially constructed. You are your parents' child. Your children’s mother. Your husband's wife. Your high school's Valedictorian, and your prom date's sweetest memory. You have people you know from your neighbourhood, from work, from that club you went to last Saturday night.

Which adds up to the fact that you are what other people know or can find out about you. Escorting is a choice you are making. You have a past which cannot be changed, only hidden; a present which you can control; and a future which your choices shape.

The Audience
An escort looks for clients. Usually by advertising. That is a choice. But who reads her ad is not her choice; instead, by advertising in the Internet age, an escort is putting some version of herself and her profession into public view. While your grandmother probably doesn't read Dating.com, your grade nine teacher might.

More to the point, Google's busy little spiders are recording each escort ad; indexing them and storing them - along with accompanying pictures - in the searchable world. Suddenly your audience is world-wide, and when someone types in cute mid- Western girl, there you are!

Again, very much an escort’s choice. But if you use your real name and an identifiable photograph, you will be very easily found, and all your escort advertising promises will be, as well. Probably not tracks you want to leave.

Taking Control
Even if you don't care now, you may care later. Remember, the Internet never forgets. And, as importantly, while you may not care today, your family, friends and business associates may not be quite so blasé.

So using your real name while escorting is unwise. So is using an identity which is linked to your real name. Your Granny, if no one else, remembers your middle name.

Your escorting clients don't care. They want a name, but if Debbie Smith becomes Blaze Comet they will still get in touch.

First Rule of Privacy
Your escort name should have nothing to do with your real name or, for that matter, normal names at all. The old joke about porn star names being about actions, is not a bad guide.

A simple first name, Amber, Tracy, Tami, Katie and such like combined with an action, attribute, or noun: Fall, Wren, Grace, Robin, Knight, Slide, Strict, Found, Dash creates a full name which has nothing to do with your actual identity. It is an escort brand and can be promoted. (Generally, I'd avoid the coarser actions or attributes - Annie Anal is going to be a one-trick pony.)

The key thing is for your escort name to be comfortable for you. In particular, pick a first name which you will find easy to respond to.

You've got a Name... now what?

Time for Technology
First, a phone. The fact is that if you want a cellular contract, you need ID, and the phone ends up in your real name. Which can be traced. But not easily. Barring a Court Order or a friend at the phone company or at NSA, phone contracts are not public records.

Getting a Smartphone – Android is cheaper and will make your escort life a lot simpler because a Smartphone can become your work computer. You can check your email, text clients, and keep contacts all in one place.

Go for an unlisted number and dedicate the phone to your escort business. No personal calls, ever. Yes, it is a bit expensive to run two phones, but it is simply a cost of doing business.

Next an email account. I recommend Google simply because it opens up a variety of promotional opportunities (link to the online article).

Set your email and your phone up with only your working escort name and number. Set a distinct ringtone and remember to turn the phone off when you are visiting your parents, grandmothers, or straight-laced best friends.

As it happens, courts in the US have ruled that the police can search a Smartphone during the course of an arrest. Which means if you are arrested – for anything – the entire content of your escort Smartphone is potentially up for grabs.

Be smart. Password protect the phone to prevent a casual browse through by your friends, parents, or your local police officer.

Be smarter. As well as passwording your phone’s screen, you can encrypt your entire escort phone. Both Android and Apple phones allow you to encrypt the phone’s contents. Yes, it is a pain to have to enter two passwords, but compared to having your privacy destroyed because you left your escort phone somewhere you shouldn’t have, it’s a small price to pay.

A Story

The biggest enemy of your privacy is yourself.

Simply carrying two cell phones is a “tell” for an observant friend. But not having a great cover story is even worse.

A cover story needs to be simple and it needs to be broad enough to give you something easy to say when your escort phone rings. You may have to break off a date for an escort appointment or your friends may notice you have more money than would otherwise make sense. Support your cover story by avoiding having to use it more than is absolutely necessary. Most of the people in your life are never going to check out what you tell them unless there is some reason to doubt what you are saying. Keeping things simple is a great way to avoid the mistakes which arouse curiosity.

You are never going to be able to explain a $5,000 a week lifestyle if you are officially a student. Being unavailable for hours at a time while you attend to an escort appointment also may ring the curiosity bells. A little bit of the truth may be your best strategy. Being an “on-call personal assistant” can explain absences and a good deal of money. So will actually having an actual business as a consultant or Kindle romance writer. The point of the cover story is to have it ready to cover all the issues which may come up as you escort.

Your Privacy with Clients

Most escorts’ clients are not very curious. At least not the first time you see them. The traditional, “How did a nice girl like you get into a business like this?” question is easy to answer –Well, money, and I love the hours – will shut down the punter. But the great trade off of the safety and predictability of an escort’s regulars, is they will get to know you a bit. There is nothing wrong with that; but once in a while an escort client can turn into a stalker or just a guy who wants more than you are in the business of giving.

The big difference between a curious regular and the general public, is that he knows what you do and where you do it. Now, if all you do are outcalls the “where” is useless to him. However, if you escort from a dedicated apartment or your own home, some basic privacy moves are key.

First, again, a cover story. And there is no reason not to use the same cover story. If your escort client tries to run it down, he’ll hit the same wall which defeats your friends and family if it is a pure fake. If you really do have a day job, you can use it for cover but simply refuse to give the curious client any details.

Keep your work environment – even if it is your own home – absolutely devoid of personal items – pictures, phone numbers, a computer, medicines in your bathroom cupboard – all give a casual observer too much information.

Set Hard Limits

Just because an escort client is buying your time, he does not have any right to pry into your life. And you have no obligation to discuss personal matters.

Hard limits are set quite easily if you are prepared. If an escort client asks you about something you are uncomfortable discussing, you can gracefully shrug it off by saying, Oh, I never discuss my family, (boyfriend,/work/city of origin/high school…et al).’ If he pushes, the push back is more straightforward, No, I really don’t discuss that sort of thing. I value my privacy as I am sure you value yours. End of discussion. Be friendly but firm. The threat is not particularly subtle but it reminds your escort client that he has a reputation to consider as well.

Have Plan B

Scenarios: You are out for a dinner with pleasure to follow with an escort client old enough to be your father and you run into your actual father. Or your escort client shows up and he actually is Mr. Green, that nice Grade 9 teacher who is still teaching your youngest sibling. Or you forget to turn off your escort phone, go to the washroom and your best friend answers a work call.

Cover blown? Not if you have Plan B. And the key thing about Plan B is it is different but the same in every awkward circumstance. Assess, relax, divert and, most importantly, don’t even think of explaining.

Running into your father when you are escorting is nothing more than a socially awkward moment. You have been caught in a not very compromising position with a date your father would probably prefer you were not seeing. Your escort date is, no doubt, none too delighted to be meeting the father of his dark desire. Hi Dad. This is Mr. Jefferies whose online marketing I’ve been doing; Mr. Jefferies this is my father, Mr. Jones.

The reality is that if you are out in public with an escort date you should be entirely prepared to run into anyone from your father to your date’s wife. Which means that on the way to the restaurant you will take a moment to synchronize the “story”, and you’re done.

Having Mr. Green, your grade nine teacher, show up at your door for an escort encounter, is more of an unexpected problem. He will be just as embarrassed as you are but, unlike you, he will not likely have a Plan B. Your choice is straightforward – have the date and count on Mr. Green having more to lose than you do by even mentioning it; or deciding not to have the date, in which case Mr. Green, to his relief, needs to know that he has arrived at the wrong house. April Wren? I’ve never heard of her. You must have the wrong address, but it sure is great to see you again. Mr. Green will never be the wiser and if he does suspect, he’ll be relieved that his reputation remains unsullied. This is especially true if it is 11:30 at night and Mr. Green has had a couple more drinks than he should have.

The errant phone call to your escort phone answered by your gal pal should, in fact, take care of itself. If the caller is looking for “April Wren” your girlfriend will, reasonably enough, tell him he has the wrong number. If he calls back he’ll get the same response. Any questions from your gal pal can be met with anything from some drunk to I don’t know, some girl had this number before I did. I keep getting these strange calls.

No matter what the circumstance, an escort needs a solid Plan B.

Confidentiality and Discretion

Ultimately, what an escort is selling is a private matter between consenting adults. Just as her clients have an expectation of discretion, she has an expectation of privacy. By treating her business as confidential, she creates a private, intimate, space in which to operate.

At the same time, it is vital for an escort to take responsibility for keeping her business life separate from the rest of her life. Privacy is service an escort gives her clients and a benefit she gives herself.

5 | THE ART OF SELF-INVENTION

Escorts almost never use their real names on the job, both for self-protection and because an assumed identity is the beginning of an intriguing invented self.

Escorts have the opportunity to develop new personas, which is rare in the real job world. This persona is essentially the girl they are when they are escorting.  This assumed persona is the basis of her brand and it is also the basis for the experience she offers her clients. It is worth a bit of thought because the right persona can give a girl a tremendous competitive boost.

In a sense, your escort persona can be whatever you want it to be; but practically it is wise to stay close to who you actually are and simply emphasize elements of your own personality. Are you sensual? Is your sexuality erotic or more down to earth? Do you look the girl next door or an uptown girl? Do you love feminine, lacy lingerie or do you sexy and racy? Love to travel? Would you rather read a book or see a movie? Love getting dressed up? Steak and potatoes or Coquilles St. Jacques à la Provençale? (a luscious appetizer of scallops gratineed with wine, garlic, and herbs. For the recipe see “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” by Julia Child).

Take an honest look in the mirror. Slim? Athletic? Curvy? Best body feature? Great legs? Fabulous derriere? Luscious breasts?

Take a close and critical look at your face. Are you a beauty? Model quality? Exotic, pretty, or cute? Great hair? Lovely eyes?

With a bit of artistry and attention to details, you can change your image when you assume your escort persona. Have a bit of fun – remember playing dress up as a little girl? Here’s your chance to do so as an adult. Skillfully applied make-up and a few curlers can transform the girl-next -door into a smoldering seductress – wear a red leather jacket and a tight black pencil skirt, stockings and stilettos and you are his femme fatale. A slinky, beaded, flapper dress and you become a glamorous Gatsby girl. LBD (little black dress) paired with black, seamed stockings and you’ll be stepping into cocktail land. While you can, in the appropriate circumstances, pull off any of these looks, it is probably best to adopt a single signature look and sensibility.

An escort who is also a savvy business-woman, will develop a persona to appeal to the broadest possible market. This means choosing one that hits the hot buttons with the largest number of men. Words like sexy, playful, erotic, and sensual all give a potential client clues to what he’ll experience in his encounter with you. So, if you advertise it, you better be able to deliver.  And that begins with the first impression he has upon meeting you. Unless your looks match your words, he will be confused and perhaps even disappointed. Therefore, it is essential that your advertising, photographs, and website, are all in sync with the image you are trying to project. When selecting photos, try to have a couple of shots in a sexy secretary vein and perhaps one that is slightly suggestive---naked under a strategically placed sheet in bright daylight, for instance. What you are marketing is a fun, easy encounter.  Try an ad like this to give a clear idea about your escort persona:

Looking for the Girl-Next-Door?

Hi! My name is Emily and I’m your girl-next-door. I just love giving a man my full attention. I have tanned long legs, a cute bum and long blonde hair. I love being playful and having you play with me.

The natural, casual girl persona can work well for an escort especially if she prefers to see younger men. She is approachable, not intimidating. It also has the virtue of requiring no more than a casual dress or even jeans and a T, a quick shower, a smidgen of mascara and lip-gloss,  and you’re ready for your date. It’s a great persona for the younger escort since she is not pretending to be anything too different from who she actually is. Think of a user friendly name you can get accustomed to. Katie or Daisy or Molly all have the right ring for the girl-next-door.

Generally, the persona an escort picks should be positive even if she is trying to project a more sophisticated mystic. One of the many reasons men visit escorts is to avoid drama. The old joke that a man doesn’t pay an escort to come over, he pays her to leave, is telling. The client knows his experience is finite. No attachments, no complications, no questions, and certainly no pressure or expectation to call her.

Some escorts tailor their strategy and their appearance to appeal to corporate clients. To make this work, an escort must look and, indeed feel, as though she belongs in the jet-set class – accustomed to luxury hotels and fine restaurants, at ease at the glittering parties their clients attend. The look is ubër-polished, sophisticated, and refined. Dress, hair, nails, make-up, and demeanor all exude an aura of elite status, not escort.

If this persona is just not you, and you can’t even act it through convincingly, you can still attract business-class clients by adopting the counterpoint personality; one which evokes the demure, Japanese Geisha. This quiet, gentle persona represents an oasis of pleasure and calm. The Geisha-like escort caters to the businessman’s need for relaxation at the end of a fast-paced and stressful day. This non-challenging encounter also enables him to more easily justify and rationalize hiring an escort and assuage any guilt or conflict by thinking of it in terms he knows well: a transaction: one professional purchasing the services of another professional.

An escort must really be at the top of her game is she wants to break into this executive escort league. This persona requires a great deal of effort on her part, but the rewards are substantial. Most significantly, she is able to charge much higher escorting rates.  She earns more in two ways: first, the minimum time commitment per client is one hour; and secondly, her hourly rate is usually about 30% more than the going rate in her city. She is also able to offer more services: travel companion, acting as a date for social functions, and extended encounters such as week-end rendezvous. All other such ideas and delights are up to the imagination, and the bank account, of course.

If you are ready to go after this sort of client, here is a sample ad that you can revise to work for you:

You Deserve the Best

Give yourself the rewards you deserve. Let me discreetly ease your stress. Attractive, well-groomed, impeccably dressed lady will attend to your every need. Discretion expected and assured. Finer Hotels only.

Pure professionalism is the objective. From the look and tone to the advertising campaign, to your web presence and telephone manner, a professional attitude will put these particular clients at ease, and assure them that they are getting what they are paying for. Since the rates are high; so are the expectations. In a service business (and the escort business is indeed one) having a level head for business, an eye for detail, plus a willingness to go the extra mile for client satisfaction will serve an escort well. Money is not the only scorecard for success here. A business class escort aims to leave her client delighted and wanting to see her again. Because once she finds them/they find her, she wants to keep them. She has discovered the magic of regulars.

Alt (alternative) girl is a persona which can work for escorts who have already made irrevocable personal style choices – tattoos, piercings and the like. Alt girl personas are a mixed bag – the gothic, the gypsy, the skater chick – the tribes are too numerous to count. She should not however, look like a looser, a drunk, a drug-addict, or a homeless person. Your hair can be any shade as long as it is clean and cared for. Likewise for skin and wardrobe. You want to be intriguing and enticing, not scary.

Fortunately, there is a set of men for whom this genre holds an intense and erotic fascination. Clients will project a lot onto a girl who adopts the Alt girl tag. In theory, an Alt girl is more likely to be into (or at least open to) everything from S/M through to corsetry. The question an escort has to answer in creating this persona is what of the theoretical Alt girl traits does she have, and which are she willing to share. Part of successful escort persona construction is intention. At the outset, an escort is making conscious choices about her presentation to the world, or at least, to another. Adopting an Alt girl persona is very much a decision to engage with the client’s perceptions or fantasies of what Alt girls are all about. It can be more than a little uncomfortable if those perceptions are not, in fact, accurate in the case of every particular escort. Better to set some limits and be very clear from the get-go.

Advertising could run something like this:

Alternative Girl for Encounter

Tats, piercings in interesting places, a lot of edgy makeup. I am a grrrl looking to bring you mystery and intensity. Are you ready? In calls only. I can’t go to hotels.

The Alt girl persona is very deeply challenging.  But taking on the Alt girl persona gives the right girl the capacity to escort on her own terms.

At the exact opposite end of the spectrum of escort personas is the model. Truly beautiful girls, and escorts clever enough to get their pictures done by brilliant photographers, with great stylists, create the image of an unattainable woman who, for a price, will bestow the pleasure of their company on a few fortunate men.

The Model persona is glossy, all about beauty and high style. The notion of arm candy is the bread and butter of the Model escort. She’s appealing to men who need to be with a drop-dead gorgeous girl and are willing to pay for the pleasure.

For an escort, the Model persona is high-maintenance but also high return. Her calling card is top-notch photography and a runway-worthy wardrobe. Having a professional take your advertising photographs is vital. If possible have a hair and makeup person on the shoot. Full professional fees can run upwards of $1,000 but the resulting beautiful photos will make you stand out wherever you advertise.

Her client is looking for, and paying for a degree of perfection. This means high-impact hair, flawless makeup, and investments in quality shoes and designer bags. If your bank account seems inadequate to the task, the good news is that Model persona clients will often be delighted to go on (or at least finance) shopping expeditions, days at the spa, whatever you want, dahh..ling.

Advertising for the escort who takes on the Model persona is elitist and geared towards well-heeled clients.

When Only the Best Will Do

Gorgeous, 20-something model available for your pleasure. Be swept away by a statuesque, high fashion, blonde with hidden talents. Lets see if you can discover them.

An escort who takes on a Model persona is deliberately narrowing the size of the client pool. She is not seeking the average client. She presents a challenge and only the most confident of men will rise to the occasion.

The last persona, and in many ways the most difficult, is the Courtesan. In many ways creating the courtesan persona takes an escort right out of the real world and into another, more enigmatic one. In actuality, the Courtesan is the mirror image of the average escort. She is selling her beauty, her intelligence and charm, and her impeccable taste to men who appreciate the finer things in life. This is a persona perfect for the older, but still beautiful escort who has the advantage of experience in life.

Courtesans take the business of paid companionship and elevate it to an art. To fully take on the Courtesan persona, an escort must recognize that while intimacy is certainly a part of the equation, it is the icing rather than the cake. Donning the Courtesan persona requires much more than a few stylish outfits, a good haircut, and retro lingerie. This is a woman with grace as well as style. Although the client base is small and distinguished, an escort can still do very well indeed because the Courtesan persona operates by engaging on a regular basis with a very few, very select clients. She provides an eclectic array of entertainments and enchantments for men refined enough to appreciate them, and her, and possess the means to afford her.

A Model escort might very well choose the Courtesan persona. But an escort does not have to have model-level looks to take this approach. In fact, a Courtesan’s beauty may be idiosyncratic rather than conventional (Sophia Loren was dismissed by many a daft director who told her she wasn’t pretty enough to be an actress); and her body may be more voluptuous than your perfect, twiggy supermodel. Because of this, not despite it, this Courtesan-like escort is all the more desirable and sought after. Why? Because she has the capacity to engage with a refined man at more than a merely superficial level. Education, experience, empathy, and poise are all part of the courtesan’s endless allure.

Advertising for an escort reaching for the courtesan persona is unlike typical escort adverts as courtesans focus on longer term intimate arrangements. A courtesan finds business often from acquaintanceship rather than ads, however, at the outset one like this will draw attention:

Elegant Woman Seeking Interesting Man

A glass of champagne, an evening in the company of an elegant, enticing, woman. A taste of sensuality and pleasure is all yours to enjoy.

To manage the courtesan persona, an escort must redefine her entire enterprise. She books a limited number of appointments of longer duration. She may not even take on new clients once she has an established roster of regulars. She learns what each client wants, needs, and enjoys and tries to accommodate them in every way because she is being paid well for her services.

The line between a mistress and a courtesan is often blurred. Both deliver a classic escort service, but perhaps the best way to make the distinction is that a courtesan will have clients, and is, to a controlled degree, “on call”. On the other hand, a mistress confines her business to one man who takes care of her financially and they arrange a fixed or flexible schedule usually a couple of times a week. A mistress relationship may be of short or long-term duration. There are no set rules. And the terms may change as they go along. Love may enter into the equation; or children. It is not unheard of for the mistress to become the wife.

This is just a sample of the range of possible escort personas. Finding or inventing one which works for you is usually one that actually suits who you are and enables you to play up your best features and qualities. Unless you are a wanna-be actress, this will make your life as an escort a great deal easier and ultimately more rewarding, too.

6 | UP-MARKET ADS THAT WORK

For independent escorts, advertising can make the difference between a successful business and just getting by. With the right ad, you can attract up-market, and repeat clients. With an awesome ad, you can garner premium rates and great tips.

So what’s the stellar ad?

Location, Location, Location

Ads exist in context. Your ad is going to be competing with many other ads, whether it is in print, or online. So, where you advertise may make a huge difference to how many clients respond, and what sort of clients those are.

Picking the venue for your advertising is all about positioning your services in the marketplace. A high-traffic website will put your ad in front of many eyes. These are potential clients.  But this will also mean that you are answering texts, emails, and the talking on the phone a lot more often than if you go a more selective route.

Two things to bear in mind in when choosing where to advertise – first, escorting is a very location-driven business. Your clients want to know you are nearby. Second, you are judged by the company you keep. Ads are like neighborhoods – and if your locale is notorious, even if you have the nicest house on a street full of crack shacks, it isn’t going to make the sale.

At the same time, up-market clients often travel on business and want to be able to find a girl at their destination. Which is why advertising at a national site like Dating.com makes a lot of business sense. When a client is looking for an escort in your city, he’ll see your ad, and if the ad is good, he’ll choose you.

Selling the Sizzle

Lets go back to Marketing 101. Customers want to know about benefits, not features. What will your services do for them?

The temptation in writing an escort ad, is to provide something of a Chinese dinner menu of services all with perplexing acronyms – GFE (girl-friend experience; involves kissing in some circumstances), DATY (dinner at the Y, {ie. oral sex}); BBBJ (bare-back blow job- pretty much self-explanatory, party hats unworn.)Your ad can end up looking more like a stock-ticker than an invitation to delight. Whew!

So what are you really selling?

Are you advertising sex for sale? Not so smart. This tactic gives you a next-to- nothing competitive advantage. Create a niche in the sea of sameness. A focused strategy is your best approach. Emphasize your customer’s desires, and how you will meet them. A good way to illustrate this, is to show you an ad which gets it exactly right:

Voluptuous, sensuous woman offers languorous encounter on pristine Egyptian sheets in a silk negligee. Waste some time with me.

Oh, ever so appealing. Your phone will be ringing off the hook; your Inbox will be overflowing! Writing a clever ad is time well spent.

Part of what distinguishes an escort from a hooker, is attitude and atmosphere. It’s how she presents herself. While sex is certainly implied, it is not the only attraction.

The Market

All sorts of men hire escorts. But an escort does not want all sorts of men. You want the sort of men who will pay well, be respectful, and ideally, become regulars. Being specific about who you want to see will screen out those you don’t: the quickies, the cashless, and the coarse. Your advertising sorts the sheep from the goats.

Define your focus. Who is your preferred customer? Over-50? Then write your ad accordingly with terms such as: established gentleman, affluent, successful, high-powered, all get your message across. If you gear your advertising toward this segment of the market, your target segment will respond. Of course, the more narrowly you focus your advertising, the more you reduce your potential pool of clients. But that may actually make you more money for less work. Smarty pants.

Headlines: Busses versus Limos

Hot 38 DD’s tells a client he’s climbing onto a public convenience. He’ll expect a low price, not much style, and a quick trip from A to B. If that is what you are offering as an escort experience, fair enough, but don’t be surprised if you have to haul a lot of passengers to make a living.

Pretty Stockings, Discreet Loft, Elegant Encounters promises luxury, sophistication, and sensuousness. Writing headlines is an art, and the aim is to stand out. Since the majority use the direct approach, do the opposite, do a tease. Entice your clients to come to you because they are intrigued. Think of fishing; the ad is the bait.

Rule #1  Don’t be obvious. You are advertising on an escort page, so people generally know what you are selling. But you can be refined even in such circumstances.

Rule #2  Tell the Truth. If you are a brunette, don’t say you’re a blonde (unless you have a wig and are prepared to use it.)

Rule #3  Set the mood, then set the hook. The headline is about getting his attention; the appointment booking is for the full story.

Rule #4  Set yourself apart. Let the other girls use the cute ascii characters, the explicit language. Your photo should look more like in belongs in a model’s portfolio rather than on the escort pages. Have high standards, and others with notice.

Rule #5  Be business-like. Test your headlines – run two identical ads with different headlines and different email/text numbers. See which one brings you the business you want. Go with the one that works. Here are a few examples:

Experience the Perfection of Pleasure

The Womanly Art of Pleasing a Man

What the Courtesan Knows

Exquisite Sensuality for the Discerning Gentleman

There are no perfect headlines, just headlines which work for you.

The Pitch

He’s read your clever headline, seen your beautiful photo, and now he is eager to know more. So, now what?

At this stage, a man will want an idea of the experience he might have with you. Here is your chance to surpass your competition. If you tailor an hour or two hour appointment, a great deal of your time will not be expressly sexual at all. In fact, much of your time will be about conversation, flirting, teasing, and the art of seduction.

Expertly expressing this in an email or in a telephone conversation, means thinking carefully about what you do from the clients’ point of view. To get the booking, you have to make the pitch, and ultimately, the sale. And you must not only convince your clients to come see you, you also have to induce them to pay top dollar for the privilege.

The Setting

A good ad will give a client a sense of security right from the start. Clients, even men who have been using escorts for years, are naturally wary, and sometimes more than a little suspicious. You may not have a high-end apartment, but there are plenty of other features you can mention. Here are a few: luxurious, discreet, private, cozy, calm, peaceful. So setting the mood can be as simple as this description:

Join me in my calm, private apartment for time to relax, unwind, and play.

Don’t be vague: attractive, curvy, pretty, athletic, waif, sweet lips set the stage without making unrealistic promises – advertise to attract; but don’t offer what you don’t have. Always best to under-, rather than over-, state. He will be getting more than he expected. Expect him to be thrilled.

What about relax and unwind? That’s setting the stage. Give the potential client a sense of what you’ll do for him long before the main event. Of course, some girls like to be a bit more explicit:

I love it when a man relaxes and watches me pleasure myself before I pleasure him.

The point of the pitch is to make your services sound deeply appealing to your target market. Which means locking on to the particular fantasy life of that market.

Now, the further up-market you aim, the more subtle and tantalizing your advertising needs to be. Curvy Double-D’s; Drug and disease free; Outcalls only, may attract responses, but rarely your target market. You must speak their language; and speak to their needs and desires.

A few things which will attract the older, well-to-do client to your door are words like discreet, discerning, intelligent, educated, adventurous. As long as you really are. As well, if you are a fashionista, drop a few names: my Louboutin shoes (who on earth isn’t familiar with that arch red sole?); my Ralph Lauren white shirt. You get the idea; and so does he. This interests the affluent, and it will subtly tell the others, that you are out of their league.

Call to Action

No, really. It is astonishing the number of escort ads which lamely end with a phone number. A little wit helps a lot.

“Call me 555-5555…you know you want to.”

“For a Grand Time 555-5555”

“Let me pamper you… 555-555

“Step into my world of pleasure, call 555-555”

Try to sound friendly, inviting, and perhaps a little witty. This is a bit like calling a girl for a date, which is a high-stress thing for many men.

Pictures

Of course you can use a selfie a la Kim Kardashian…but not the first one you take, and not in your bathroom with mirror glare and a mess of cosmetics.

A picture in an ad is a minefield. Men are terrifically visual, and they will check out the picture before they read word one. You need to think really carefully about what you want your picture to say about you. A few basics:

1. No clutter – check the background. Book bag on the floor, sweatpants hanging off a chair? Even an outlet or a cord can be unappealing and distracting.

2. No naughty bits – leave that to down-market girls.

3. Pretty things – whether it is a dress, or lingerie on your bed, if it is in your photo, make sure it is lovely.

4. Clean hair – even if you are not showing your face, you’ll want to have washed and styled your hair.

5. Make up – Lipstick, a little mascara, light eye shadow, and perhaps a bit of eyeliner. Start there, you can do a glam shot later.

6. In focus! Even a phone camera can be in focus. A blurry picture of even the prettiest girl looks cheesy.

7. Lighting - Think about how you are photographed. Ideally you want the main light to come from slightly above and slightly to one side. One great technique for showing off your body but concealing your face, is to stand slightly sideways at a window and shoot toward the bright daylight.

8. Barter-Look on craigslist for professional or wanna-be professional photographers wanting to shoot girls to build a portfolio. They probably won’t charge you anything and will give you pro-quality shots for your ads and website.

9. Au Current -  Change your pictures frequently. Take lots and save the best.

10. Risqué – Nudity reveals all and is really not all that interesting. Harness the power of suggestion and seduction. A full-skirted dress, a pair of silk stockings, a crisp white skirt with many buttons undone, can make a fabulous and hot, hot, hot, photo.

11. Props – A riding crop tells a story, so does a champagne glass, or a garter belt. Used sparingly, and cleverly, props can hint at all sorts of things.

Beyond the Ad

For independent escorts, advertising is just one piece of a larger marketing effort – a website, social media, and Google all play a part.

Critically, all your marketing must have a specific target, a coherent style, and a uniform message. Understanding your preferred market segment and tailoring your ad to attract them, means you are working smart. Watch success find and follow you.

Great advertising is part of a well-planned marketing campaign. Do it right, and you’ll be as busy as you want to be.

7 | CONSIDER THE CAMERA

Whether it is a BackPages ad or a complete website, great photos will increase an escort’s marketability. Fabulous photographs can, in fact, make the difference in attracting attention and generating business calls and closing the gap between average and top rates. But you are an escort not a Vogue fashion editor – so how do you get great pictures? Here are some tips:

Use a Professional Photographer

Take a look on Model Mayhem.com for your city. There will be lots of professional photographers who, for a reasonable fee, will capture your beauty. It might sound expensive but it does not need to be. First of all, there are many very good photographers looking to expand their experience and their portfolios. If you are willing to model for the shots they want, they will do the shots you need. This is the well know Time for Pictures (TFP) trade and a great way for an escort to obtain the pictures she needs for the cost of a couple of hours of her time.

A professional photographer, even one who is just starting, will have access to a studio, lights, and a really good camera with the right lenses. We’ll talk about lights in a moment, but the fact is, that for escort photos, a studio setting gives you a great chance at a superior photo.

Know Thy Self, Know Thy Market

Going into a professional photo shoot you need to know what you want your escort photos to be. Which means you need to carefully consider your market, where you are advertising, what your escort website looks like. Then you have to assess your own escort persona: are you more of a Dita Von Teese or a Gisele Bundchen sort of a girl? Are you selling a glamour girl experience, a retro date, a domina encounter or something a bit more “girl next door”?

Decide on whether you are going to appear nude in your advertising and on your website. Note, nude does not mean spread eagled nor does it require photographic gynecology. Good photographers can make your bare breasts or pert bottom look delectable and, from your point of view as an escort, that may be what you want. If you are ok with nude shots, make sure that the photographer and – if there is one, the hair and make-up person--- are too. Whatever you decide, remember this – if you put nude pictures of yourself on the Internet they are there forever. It is something to think about long before you enter the studio. Always best to err on the side of caution, I say, rather than the stress of regret.

Or you could cleverly opt for something artful that is neither clothed nor nude. And certainly neither tasteless nor pornographic. The right lighting and body make-up can make the most of an escort’s assets. The allure of a demure scarf, screen or some device of concealment is intriguing without being revealing. The final results are beautiful, suggestive, and evocative. Aim for sophisticated effects like soft lighting, shadows, slightly out of focus shots. Consider black and white which are always more subtle than the stark reality of full colour.

At a minimum you’ll want a few good head shots – likely both head-on and profile. Even if you don’t plan to have your face visible in your escort ads, having the shots gives you options: it is easy to digitally disguise yourself. You will also want a set of shots in a couple of looks. Again, stay in character – if you are all about the glossy courtesan look, then dress and look the part. You do want a variety of poses and looks within your chosen genre so even undoing a few buttons here and there changes the image and the message you are projecting.

Planning & Prep

The more an escort can prepare for her photo shoot, the better the result, and the more pictures she’ll get.

Include some great lingerie sets. This means checking your escort lingerie wardrobe. Don’t have one? Well, one of your gentlemen callers might be delighted to take you on a little lingerie shopping tour. There are books to be written about great lingerie, but the basics for an escort are: matched bra and panties, garter belt, stockings. Make sure you bring spare stockings to the shoot. Add anything from slips to camisoles to girdles or corsets for the ultimate escort lingerie look. Remember that gorgeous lingerie is an escort’s best secret. Think Agent Provocateur rather than Fruit of the Loom. Invest in quality lingerie. It is, after all, one of your few business expenses.

Accessories & Props

Jewelry adds sparkle and finish to the final effect, so don’t forget it. And don’t stint. For photographic purposes, seek out big, interesting pieces from vintage stores for eye-catching appeal. Not sure what goes with what? Pick up a few of the latest fashion magazines for inspiration, or look to the retro icons of the past.

Hats, furs, sunglasses and other such fascinations can really transform your photos into the realm of awesome. Ditto for shoes. High heel, strappy, sexy. If not new, then clean and polished. Patent leather shoes look great on camera because they are glossy and catch the light. Pick shoes with pizzazz. Again, the thrift store is a great resource.

Make sure you have a list of props – if you are doing domina work, the traditional riding crop or thin cane gives you something to work with, and is a visual reference to what you specialize in as an escort. If you do “toy shows”, you should bring a few of your nicest toys along.

Most of the items you purchase for your photo session can be used again for your escort encounters, or added to your personal collection, and if no longer required, then donated or consigned.

Make a Shot List

Make a Shot List. This is a list of your outfits and poses/props. Having a detailed plan helps an escort organize what to take to the shoot and facilitates in business planning to make best use of the photos. The list also gives the escort a measure of control over the shoot. Make a copy for the photographer and one for your make-up/hair person. Remember, you are the star, but it takes a team to make you shine.

A written plan such as this also provides a strategy for the stylist and a guideline for the photographer. However, photo shoots do have an energy all their own, and a good photographer will quickly realize how best to photograph you, so you are wise to go with what is working rather than trying to strictly adhere to your preconceived plan. Trust me, the end results will be more dynamic.

Make-Up & Hair

Studio make-up is very different from street wear. Photo lighting washes out colour, and photography make-up adds it back in. Part of the magic of fashion photography is the fact that these super (and even the not-so-super) models have had the benefit of exceptionally talented hair and make-up artists. To maximize the va-voom factor of your escort photo shoot, consider hiring a make-up and hair pro. It may cost a bit, but it is worth it.

Although a professional model just walks into the photo studio with the session orchestrated by others, an escort managing her own shoot needs to be both organized and resourceful.

Seeking hair and make-up services may take a bit of time, so start as soon as you book your date. One avenue is through on-line advertising such as the Used (your city).com site or Craigslist. As well, your photographer might also be able to recommend someone they have worked with before. Or call a local modeling agency and ask for recommendations. Paying attention to the credits in the local magazines and fashion spreads in the newspapers also will give you the names you seek.

Be careful. As an escort your clients are going to want to see a version of what is in your pictures. Simple is best.

Hair salons are an obvious place to look for talent in that field. And there are often certain salons that do a lot of photography work either for their own salon or for local advertising and modeling agencies. Inquire about the standard fees, then determine what you can afford to spend, if anything, and set about finding someone to do the job. You don’t necessarily need the best in the city, just someone competent and pleasant to work with. Once you locate said person, book a meeting with him or her. Ideally, this will take place a day or two before the shoot and ideally, at the photo studio with the photographer present. In a perfect world, the photographer will have at least one of the lighting set ups ready to go so the make-up person will be able to see how you look under the lights and thus, what will be required to make your shoot a successful one.

Bring in a few tear sheets from a fashion magazines to illustrate the looks you love. This gives the hair/make-up person(s) and the photographer a clear idea of your expectations and actually makes their job easier because you have given them something to work with.

Hair is sometimes also done by the make-up person. However a camera-worthy hair style requires a fair bit of skill and a fair bit of product. Glossy, healthy hair works well in a photoshoot and can be an escort’s most valuable asset. No, really. Get your hair into good condition before your photo shoot by getting a trim or cut if necessary and using a weekly deep conditioner or salon treatment to enhance shine and manageability.  Make-up always looks better on glowing, healthy skin, so pay attention to your skin care routine, drink lots of water, eat your greens, exercise, and  get enough sleep to keep dark circles at bay.

Keep in mind that on a photo shoot, time is money, so try to keep your looks relatively simple and easy to style. Also remember that one of the most basic rules in escorting is that your clients expect to see the same girl at the door as appeared in her ad. Make sure that whatever techniques the make-up person uses are ones which you can basically replicate and make work for your escort encounters. You may learn a few tricks of the trade to make you look fabulous every day.

Think Sexy

Unless you are a trained model, you will need to practice your poses in the mirror before your shoot. Looking sexy for the camera is not as easy as it sounds. Find your best angles, features, and learn to move in a fluid, natural way, pausing as if the camera is snapping your every move. As with an escort encounter, music is a great way to get in the groove, so turn up your favourite tunes and think about being seductive.

Arch your back and point your feet. Believe it or not these two simple techniques will make your legs look longer and your breasts look perkier. (A fact to remember in your escort encounters as well.)

Have Fun

Yes, you have done a lot of work to make this photo shoot happen, and generating escort business is your ultimate objective, but when you are in front of the camera, enjoy the moment. Having fun means overcoming the nerves and shyness you may feel at first and being adventurous, taking risks, going a tad beyond your comfort zone. The photographer’s job is to push you in a positive way to bring out the energy and essence of you, and to capture it on film, whilst also ensuring that you feel comfortable. Above all, be confident in yourself and revel in your beauty, your sexiness.

Chances are you will feel amazing in all the great outfits and accessories you have selected and now is your chance to show the world that you are one amazing woman.

Photo shoots are hectic. Even the best organized often end up with duct tape holding a light and a dress together. Things get lost. They are a complete break from the day to day world of escorting. With a reputable photographer they are also safe. Even nude shots can be great fun simply because you are the center of attention. Let yourself go. You can enjoy the moment.

The End Result

Once the lights and cameras and off, and you go back to your escort life, you are now going to wait. Some studios take longer than others, and some may even test your patience. But just be cool and wait for the call to tell you your proofs/disc are ready for pick up.

Yes, in these digital days, the actual images will be ready instantly at the studio, but a good photographer is going to want to make all sorts of adjustments to the pictures in Photoshop. You may, in fact, be going in twice: first to select the best pictures and then to pick up the finished images. While your time as an escort is worth money, taking a bit of time to get your escort images right will pay off.

Remember that these escort pictures are going to be used for a bunch of different things.

If you have an escort website, it is a good idea to think of your photos in terms of galleries. Plan 10-15 shots per gallery with a theme for each. For example, one series could be you in a crisp business suit with glasses and your hair up. 15 pictures later your blouse is undone and somehow your skirt is over your stockings tops. Then, the next gallery would have you without your blouse and skirt, hair coming down and glasses off. If you offer the “girl next door” experience, there is nothing wrong with a sequence in a mildly naughty swimsuit or a little cheerleader outfit.

You’ll want pictures for your ads as well. Here you want to stand out from your competition so pick great pictures which have real style. Leave the thong shots for the service providers.

Rinse and Repeat

Particularly if you have a website it is a great idea to set up a photo shoot every few months. 4-6 a year will give your site fresh content, fresh galleries. Plus you can send your regulars cute updates, put the pics up on Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook – without making your escorting too obvious.

The delightful thing about professional photographers is that each will bring his or her own take to your beauty and style. Which is great fun because, long before you are an escort, you are a woman and your beauty is reflected in each photographer’s lens.

8 | AN ESCORT’S OFFICE

For an escort doing in-calls, her home is not only her castle, it is also her workplace. By paying attention to the look and feel of her surroundings, she can reap big rewards both personally and professionally.

The space an escort uses for seeing her gentlemen callers is like a stage set. At a glance, it says something about the woman who lives there. You always want to make a positive impression, so take this presentation seriously. Your space is part of your image. And like your appearance, one to be carefully considered. It is impossible to change your height, but you can change your décor. And if you can change it, the ambitious escort can masterfully plan it, control it, and ta da---work it to her advantage.

Business acumen and personal comfort aside, a well-appointed home also sends a signal to an escort’s clients that she has taken them into consideration when arranging her space. If they encounter a pleasing environment, she is already some distance towards a successful, rewarding experience for them. A stylish décor catches the eye, but a space filled with serenity, comfort, and calm captures the spirit. It stays in the mind. And being memorable is an advantage for an escort in a crowded and competitive marketplace.

So whether you are perched in view penthouse, or reside in a character three-story walk up nowhere near the ocean (le sigh), the principles are the same. So let’s begin with the basics.

Clean

No client wants to see dirt or grime or cobwebs. An escort’s space speaks volumes about her, and the first thing it needs to make sure it is clean. If you can, have a professional cleaner spend a couple of hours every week on your apartment. If you can’t afford this, you are just going to have to suit up and do it yourself; so grab your rubber gloves, the spray and shine, and get to work. Crank up the stereo and time will fly by. Get into corners and crevices. Pay particular attention to the bathroom and the kitchen. Nothing says clean like gleaming chrome taps and a sparkling tub.

These thorough once a week cleans are vital, but so are quick spot cleans before a client arrives: a quick wipe down of the coffee table, the sink, and a run around with the vacuum. If you offer refreshments, make sure the glasses and cutlery sparkle.

Tidy

Try to have tidy as the natural order of things so cleaning is not such a daunting task. You don’t have to be obsessive about it, but just don’t let things pile up. The magazines you were reading over your morning cappuccino, the scraps of paper with notes and numbers, stray lingerie draped over chairs, used glasses and plates---they all need to be straightened, put away, put in the dishwasher, put in the laundry.

Organized

Having a designated area for your papers, receipts, and such like keeps your business and personal life well-organized. When you are entertaining, there should be nothing on your desk except your computer – with a locked screensaver. All personal matter should be in drawers or a filing cabinet in the closet.

In the bedroom, have a discreet container for things such as lube and toys. A vintage hat box will do splendidly. Baskets work well for items like bondage gear. An umbrella stand can organize canes and crops. Tissues and wet wipes should be near at hand as, of course, should a selection of condoms. Not necessary to be on display, however. Slipping them inside an old, decorative cigar box or a jeweled Art Deco case is a stylish and tasteful solution.

Editing

Simply adding things to your environment is not decorating. Eye-catching home design is more often about subtraction rather than addition. Less really is more, especially in smaller spaces.

Clutter is never a good look. So take a good look around with a critical eye. Anything which has no immediate use or aesthetic value should go. Items you can’t bear to part with should be put in a box and stashed in the hall cupboard or in your unit’s storage. The rest should be sorted: tossed if broken, chipped, or worn; donated to a thrift shop if still usable; consigned if in like-new condition with a re-sale value.

Once you have the basics taken care of, you can set about creating a delightful space that suits you and is also suitable for your clients. This does not have to be done in a day. The fact is that finding nice things is notoriously time-consuming and expensive. It doesn’t have to be if you are resourceful and clever. And you are.

The first step is the predictably the same as it is for most other endeavours:

Step 1: MAKE A PLAN

Think about what you wish to achieve. What looks do you love? Modern? Bohemian? Or sea-side casual? Flip through magazines to get ideas and get inspired. Even small changes can make a big impact. Your home should make a statement about you, but since it is also your escort environment, these personal touches should be subtle rather than overt; noticed by none but the most keenly observant guest.

There is plenty of room to debate whether a feminine or masculine look is to be preferred in an escort’s workspace. I tend toward the strong, clean lines of a more masculine look. The problem with a feminine décor is that men tend to find patterns and frills off-putting. This is very much the escort’s choice of course, however there is another, more compelling argument for sleek, modern lines: by way of contrast, it sets the escort off as the most feminine thing in the room.

Style extends to art and while there is no accounting for taste, it is wise to avoid explicitly erotic pieces. Here again, the escort should be the erotic focal point of her space. Choose actual ART, please. An original water-colour, or even a pencil sketch by an art-school student is much more interesting than a print of some famous work, the original of which everyone knows, is hanging in the Louvre. Did you know that some city art galleries have art rental programs? Check out your local one.

Step 2: RE-ARRANGE

If your furniture hasn’t moved since the day you moved in, it’s time to shake things up a bit. Think of your house like an architect does. Sketch the basic blueprint on paper. Furniture placement should enhance flow and reflect how you use each room. Where will your client sit when he first arrives? Is there a nearby table where can he put his glass? You don’t actually need much: a chair, a sofa, a side and/or coffee table. Go for quality, not quantity: real wood, not particle board; natural rather than synthetic fibers; glass instead of plastic. Your home should be not only functional, but beautiful as well.  And it doesn’t have to be totally on display. Practically, a gentleman caller will see your hall, your bathroom, your living area, and your bedroom. The deployment of one or two screens can keep the rest of the space private.

Step 3: COLOUR

Unless you own your place, you likely did not choose the paint colours. But even if you do rent, you might not be stuck with them if you have a landlord amenable to your ideas. Talk it over and get approval before you do anything. If at all possible, hire pros to paint. They get their paint at a discount and a couple of rooms can cost as little as $150. And they clean up so you don’t have to.

Remember that you are likely not going to live there forever, so a nice neutral that the next tenant would like too is a big consideration. There are many, many shades of white, cream, and grey that all look fresh and contemporary. Get swatch cards and paste them up to your walls before you commit to any shade. Also, some companies sell little sample cans so you can actually paint a small area to really get a sense of what it will look like. What does it look like in the day, at night, in direct sunlight, and does it coordinate with your furniture, art, and rugs? The lighter the hue, the larger your space will seem. It’s a big decision, so you may want to get a friend to give you a second opinion, and don’t be afraid to chat to the clerks in home stores for advice. But in the end, you have to live with it, so you have to love it.

Step 4: LIGHTING

Easily one of the most important – and yet frequently overlooked – elements of an escort’s space is the light. The difference between a warm glow and an unappealing glare is often as simple as the difference between a 40 watt bulb and a 100 watt one.  Dimmer switches are your secret tactic for instant changes in mood. Keep bedroom lighting soft and low. Thrift stores and rummage sales are a fabulous source for really unique floor, table, and ceiling lights. Again, the style and colour should be in keeping with the rest of your space.

Enhance any natural light there is. Are there lots of windows or few? Which direction does the space face? Sunlight is splendid for your plants, but blinds or semi-sheer curtains preserve your privacy as they diffuse outside light. Silk scarves and saris make excellent impromptu curtains and add a certain exotic softness to a room. Since you will have engagements both day and night, you must factor both into your lighting choices. As an escort, you are the star of your own show so choose lighting that is the most flattering.

Step 5: DETAILS

LINENS

Hand towels, bath towels, sheets, and pillow cases are more than necessities for an escort. She can turn them into little luxuries because believe it or not, clients notice things like this.

Go for the luxe hotel/spa look with all white. Avoid patterns and the appliqué so many towels are festooned with. A simple, clean, plush, terry cloth towel is a terrific luxury for a man showering before or after his pleasure. White has the advantage that it is easy to launder and a little bleach take care of most everything. Don’t try to make your client towels last forever. Replace often.

Of course an escort’s linens need to be fresh, clean, and crisp. And spotless. Treat yourself and your clients to cotton, linen, or bamboo for a really luxurious feel. (For more information on what to look for see:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/25/sheets-best-buying-guide_n_1302797.html

Once you have purchased the best sheets you can afford, learn how to take care of them properly. And since you will buy new, watch for the sales. Yes, for a busy escort that means owning several sets, and doing a lot of laundry. Nature of the business, I’m afraid.

FLOWERS

Fresh flowers are a lovely and fragrant finishing touch to any space. Avoid floristy bouquets---a bunch of bright tulips in a simple vase is much nicer.

Three places for flowers: on your hall table where your gentlemen leave their gifts; on your coffee table as a bright accent; and beside your bed. And a stem or two in the bathroom is unexpected and lovely.

Change out your flowers at the first sign of wilting. Yes, it does cost money, but it’s worth it. Never, ever try to skrimp and save by buying fake ones. Honestly, none is better than these. Ah, so now you have become a woman with a stylish apartment who can be seen carrying home flowers. Tres chic!

MUSIC

For an escort, music is in the background, not centerstage. It helps to set the mood, and that mood is almost never enhanced by Death Metal or Hip Hop, the twang  of country, or corny show-tunes. Stick to cool jazz, classical, even some new agey music is inoffensive. Program your music before your date. Most cable companies have music services included.

CANDLES

Only in the evening, or at least at dusk. There is not an escort alive whose beauty is not enhanced by candlelight. But since you will not be attending to them during the course of the evening, avoid tapers and choose unscented tea lights – or better still—votive candles instead. For drama, a couple of dozen are stunning, but every living space can benefit from even a few, strategically placed. The very best candles are made of natural beeswax and they fill the air with a divine aroma.

In the end, an escort’s space is part of what she brings to her business. When a client arrives in her home for the first time he is looking forward to her intimate favours. By thoughtfully creating a pleasing and serene environment, an escort adds another element to the encounter by engaging even more of her client’s attention. Before he even gets to the bedroom, he has caught a glimpse of the beauty which surrounds her. He’ll be back.

9 | LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

In the previous chapter, An Escort’s Office, I gave some guidelines for decorating an escort’s home as a live/work space. Moving from this design-centric approach, we will now focus on a few of the practical nuts and bolts. Whereas decoration is location independent (you and your fabulous stuff can move and set up somewhere else with ease), the building in which you reside, the neighbourhood that surrounds it, and the type of space you occupy are all location specific. Where you live and escort is up to you, but before you think about moving, think about what real-estate agents love to call, location, location, location.

Address Matters

Where you live is an address, and that address may have certain connotations in the escort business that are familiar to those in the city, and sometimes even far beyond it. In New York, for example, Soho (artsy---at least initially), Greenwich Village (bohemian), Little Italy (ethnic charm), Gramercy Park (elite and coveted) are neighbourhoods which cater to people of a certain persuasion and have thus developed distinctive personalities.  So when deciding where best to hang your hat, you should certainly consider features, amenities, cost, safety, and convenience---for you and your clients---but don’t forget to factor in location. By the way, if you happen to pick a spot before everyone else recognizes its great potential (Oh, you are so ahead of trend, you brilliant girl), be forewarned that many under-appreciated areas which begin as havens for artists, intellectuals or some other nifty set, have altered over time, often becoming gentrified and no longer as affordable, nor quite as quaint

What is the prevailing atmosphere of this location? You know, the vibe. Will you fit right in to your new environment, or stick out like a sore thumb? Some places are easier to blend into than others. An escort with an Alt-Girl persona is not going to find much acceptance, or likely very much business success, in a prestigious and snobby enclave of the city. You and your location have to be compatible.

Look for what you need for your escort business. Is there a coffee shop where you might meet prospective clients without giving them your address? Are there a couple of date friendly restaurants in easy (in heels) walking distance? Is there discreet and secure parking nearby? Take a look around the neighbourhood during the day and again after dinner. The last thing which an escort wants or needs is a client getting lost or being late for an appointment because he had to park ten blocks away.

One thing to keep in mind when you are looking for your escort location is that it is an investment. Having a higher end location, convenient to downtown hotels, will increase your rate. While you personally might only feel you can afford $1000 a month, your escorting business can’t afford less than $1500-$2000. More money means more security and better paying clients. If you think of it on a per escort appointment basis, if you are able to charge an extra $50 per appointment because of your location in 20 appointments you’ll have made the $1000 difference.

As well, when you are blinking at the rent, remember that the working portion of your escort space will, almost certainly be deductible as a business expense for tax purposes. It doesn’t help pay the deposit, but when you file your income tax you’ll be delighted that the government is helping you pay your rent.

Remember to dress the part when you are looking for rental space. Managers and management companies want to see a successful young business woman/writer/designer wearing decent, conservative clothes. They do not want to see or even have a hint they might be renting to an escort. And remember that you will be doing this transaction in your own name with your own cheques and references.

One thing which you can ask for, as a single woman, is that your name not appear in the building directory. This will avoid issues with your escort working name.

Privacy and Layout

If your escort space is also your abode, the ideal location is either where there is a great deal of privacy, or conversely, where there is the anonymity of a lot of coming and going. If you have neighbours in view your door, they are going to notice relatively quickly that different men are arriving at odd hours of the day and night. This rarely turns out well. So before signing a rental agreement, make sure it is a secluded locale or a large building with plenty of traffic to keep your business, and personal life, private.

Consider also the structure and nature of the building itself. Living above the shops downtown is an option that could be awesome and particularly easy for clients to find.  Close to hotels for visitors and businessmen from out of town.

In apartments or condos an optimal size for an escort doing in-calls is a two-bedroom or a one-bedroom and den unit. This can get pricy for a single girl. Instead of trading off space for a lower cost, and a cooler alternative to the ordinary, are lofts. These spaces accommodate the live/work duality exceptionally well especially if they are in large industrial buildings or have been created from former warehouses. Transformed into open-concept residences, the allocation of living area is extremely flexible and adaptable. Frequently composed of only a limited number of homes on any given level, they meld the old and the new, and for those that love this aesthetic, offer the ultimate in modern living. Former industrial buildings have walls that are more often than not made of something virtually soundproof like concrete or brick rather than paper-thin drywall. A plus for escort activities. In addition, these types of conversion spaces typically have airy, expansive dimensions with high ceilings, huge metal windows, lots of natural light, and few walls which makes even a smaller square footage loft seem larger than a condo or apartment of equal size.

Commercial locations, either former or current, are unique places to live and work as an escort in. Very unlike the tree-lined suburbs. Trucks, delivery and courier vehicles, and workers arriving in the early morning hours give way to almost complete desertion after four o’clock. At night the neon glow of business signs join the street lights in illuminating the quiet. Not so in the residential areas, since early evening is when everyone arrives back home from work and school and all the lights go on. Although not for everyone, living in an atypical space and location can be a fun adventure and could be a perfect choice for the escort wishing to be inconspicuous rather than a source of curiosity and scrutiny by nosy busy-bodies.

Security and Safety

Wherever your location, security is a critical component in choosing a suitable home for an escort. A steel front door with a peephole and a key-code access are very desirable features. Even better is one additional level of security: a lobby door with a locked entry and video surveillance. While an escort always tries to screen her clients, access to a quick visual before they enter her space is reassuring, although not infallible. If your trendy, up-and-coming neighbourhood is still sketchy at nightfall, having an alarm system installed may be a necessary precaution for peace of mind.

Alright, you have weighed the pros and cons of various locations and layouts, nabbed fabulous new digs, packed/unpacked your boxes, breathed a huge sigh of relief, so now it’s time to get to work. Before you set up shop, devise a cover story to explain your mainly at-home existence. Are you a student? A freelance writer? An aspiring actress, perhaps? Whatever you choose, stick to it. Be absolutely consistent. It’s easier to remember (and feels less like a lie) if there is a grain of truth to it--and it’s more believable, as well. And, although this is a personal call, in my estimation it is wise to keep the true nature of your enterprise to yourself. Share confidences with a dear friend, by all means, just not this one.

Which means making a choice as to whether to keep your actual location to yourself. It is, of course, easier if it is just your secret but that means that you won’t be inviting a girlfriend over to have a glass of wine. For an escort, the double life is often better lived with strict separation. On the other hand, if you have a fabulous place, video door entry and a well set up schedule there is no reason not to entertain. Just remember to turn off your phone and scan the place for notes, your “business card”, stray sex toys and take your new escort ad off your computer.

In advertising your escort service, you will not be giving your actual address, of course, but you can give clues about where you live to appeal to, and attract, the type of client you want. Terms like executive loft, or downtown pied a terre as part of your pitch indicates not only where you live, but that you are a woman of a certain taste and means. You might now increase your rates slightly to reflect your new upscale milieu. A groovy new place to live; more money---positive change begets others. Your clients will pay attention to your location long before they have the delightful opportunity to be paid attention to by you.

10 | GIVING GREAT PHONE (AND TEXTS AND EMAIL): A GUIDE FOR ESCORTS

Recently I had occasion to phone escorts, literally hundreds of escorts. OMG. In a few hundred phone calls only one in ten calls – at best –were even slightly pleasant. I thought perhaps it was the sound of a woman’s voice which was putting the escorts off, so I had my husband make calls. Lots of calls. My darling loves women, has a nice voice and has made calls for a living: he would come away from the phone a bit dazed. And utterly amazed at the lack of finesse these business women possessed.

What these escorts so obviously failed to understand is that phone – and email and texts – are critical to their business. As the expression goes, you only have one chance to make a first impression and the phone is often it.

So if you were one of the charming and witty girls we spoke to (yes, there were a few), then kudos to you. If your face is now red, or you simply want to avoid the off-putting behavior we encountered, read on.

Guidelines to Great Telephone Skills:

Everyone these days is running around with a phone in their hand or purse. But if you want to turn yours into a business asset, let’s start with the basics:

Does your business phone have good reception?

Whether you use a landline or a mobile phone you need to make sure that you have the best, most static free, drop free line you can get. There is nothing more off putting than calling an escort, reaching her and then having no idea what she is saying because the reception is so bad. That one, albeit easy to fix problem, can mean that all of your investment in advertising and marketing is wasted.

Do you know what you want AND need?

Before you commit to a particular phone, check around to see which carrier gives the best coverage in your city. Also, consider where you are going to be working. If you have an in-call, ask people nearby for carrier recommendations, and think seriously about getting a dedicated landline. These days landlines are cheap and can be forwarded to your mobile when you are out and about. The crisp, clear reception a landline offers will be a respite to the awful reception so many of your clients have to endure throughout their business day.

How user-friendly is your answering system?

You can’t always answer your phone. Your potential clients know that. In fact they may expect to leave a message but, for Heaven’s sake, make sure your message makes them want to hear back from you.  At worst, messages are the robotic, “you have reached (then the whole number that your client has just finished dialing is repeated) who cannot take your call now, please leave a message after the tone.” Or even more infuriating is the bland announcement, “this voice mail is not configured” or “the voice mail of the person you are calling is full”. Time from you client’s life he will never get back. And so, most likely, he will swiftly move on, and you have just lost business.

What does your voice say about you?
You are creating an impression every time someone dials your number. Whether they talk to you, or hear your personal message, they are forming an opinion about you as a person and as a prospective escort pick. At worse, a droning, down-beat, or downright nasty attitude makes the potential client actively dislike you before they even meet you. Telephones pick up tone of voice as well as what you are actually saying. So don’t record your message when you are drunk, hung over, in a hurry, sleepy or annoyed. Learn how to record your messages so they can be changed easily. Take a couple of tries before settling on your message.

A good answering machine/voice mail message should always be gracious, a bit funny perhaps and provides the information the potential client is looking for. Start with identity “Hi, thanks for calling Bri,” works just fine; he already knows what number he’s dialed. “I can’t come to the phone right now,” is all the next line needs to be. Adding “…I’ve just dashed out for champagne” for a bit of high-end humour that also happily wrinkles out the cheapskates without having to endure them by phone. Follow with the simple, but friendly, request for a number you can call back, “I’d love to call you back so leave me your name and your number and a good time to call.” That is really all you need and there is a good argument that you should leave it there. However, you might want to give a bit more information. One thing which is very impressive and makes you sound business like is saying something like: “I return my calls around 11:00 AM and again at 4:00PM”. Or you may indicate that you actually answer the phone at a couple of set hours in the day. You have now impressed him with your professionalism and organizational savoir faire.

Keep it short and sweet.

You may want to mention your email or your website in your message; but that lengthens the message. Many people will hang up after more than a few seconds of a phone message. They will move on to the next girl on the list and all your advertising and marketing efforts, which have brought the client so close, will be wasted. So how do you keep them interested? Most of all, your messages need to sound positive. Your potential client is taking a bit of a risk phoning you. You are asking him to take a bit more of a risk leaving his number. The least you can do is sound upbeat. You might also overcome any reluctance by being reassuring, “My callbacks are very professional and I make a point of being very discreet.”

Think of your message as a bit of a sales tease. To close the deal, you need your potential client to call back. So ask him to. Oldest sales wisdom in the world is that you have to ask for the sale; in this case you need to ask for the call back. Something as simple as, “Please leave me your number. I want to talk to you.” can increase the response rate significantly.

Of course, unless the number is blocked, you already have his number on your caller id. Should you call back? There is no hard and fast rule on that but here are a couple of common sense suggestions: if the call came in within five minutes of you seeing the number, a callback is almost always fine. Remember that you don’t know who your client maybe with so be absolutely neutral. “Hi this is Carrie, my phone tells me someone from this number called,” will get the ball rolling without getting either of you into hot water. Returning the call after five minutes, and you are getting into potentially difficult territory simply because your client’s life will have moved on. And it’s here that the miracle of texting can really help.

If your client has called you from his mobile you have a number which you can text to. Be smart.  “Hi, it’s Carrie, I’m off the phone.” Will remind you client of the call he made. It can also set in motion a text conversation which may be more discrete than a phone call at that particular instant. Texts are great for setting up a time to call but they are no substitute for the information which a phone call gives an escort or her client.

Generally texts are best for setting up calls. Going back and forth typing with your thumbs is a bit of a time waster. At the same time, with their permission, texts can be a fun way of staying in touch with regulars. A little banter back and forth can land an appointment on a slow day. (And yes, cute selfies of your new lingerie can be effective; but only if you know your client wants them and has a secure phone.)

Email is another great way to communicate; but it can be off putting. The problem is that many girls have an automatic reply set up for their main email address. This can be effective if it is short and to the point, “Thanks for emailing me. Take a look at my website for my details www.yoursitehere.com” is fine, but a bit impersonal.

Remember, the objective here is to connect with the potential client. If you have an auto response that is ok, but it is much better to take the bit of time required to write a short note in response to the specific request. An email asking, “Are you available?” can be answered in one word. Or in three lines with your website and your phone number front and center. The point of email is to get the potential client to call, or to book an appointment. Again, remember to ask, “I would love to take a few minutes on the phone to chat with you. Here is my number. I am available from 3-4:30 today. Let’s talk.” That will get your phone ringing.

The Oh-So-Subtle Art of Etiquette

So now you have taken our advice, have got the phone basics working to your advantage; now, your client calls and you pick up your phone. You have a clear line and privacy. Now what?

First of all, be prepared. Have a note pad beside you. If you can, try to take and make your calls from the same place in your apartment. A desk is ideal. When the phone rings let it ring at least once or twice before answering. Use the time to focus on this one call.

Even if you are, don’t think of yourself as a desperate escort. And whatever you do, don’t sound like one. Instead, think of yourself as a professional businesswoman, as well as entertainer/muse/mistress. Different escorts present themselves in different ways and that presentation begins with the phone call. Are you in charge? Then speak that way. If offering a fun, friendly Girlfriend experience is your forte, then flirt a little on the phone. The higher your rates; the better your diction should be (rewatch My Fair Lady if need be). If you are marketing yourself as a college student; drop the slang. Remember that many of your potential clients will be older than you are, and so a slightly deferential tone, a bit of respect, can go a long way to paving the way to happy client relations.

Chat is not the only name of the game here; get his name. It may not be his real name, but that is a question for later, or maybe never. A name, any name is to avoid the awfulness of referring to a complete stranger as “Hon” or “Dear” or one of the other generic third person nouns people use instead of a real name. The easy way to accomplish this is to answer your phone with your working name and inquire of his. Something like, “Hi, this is Tracy, who’s calling?” will usually do the trick.

The second rule of great phone conversation is to relax. There is no point in rushing the call. If you are watching the clock, you are going to lose more clients than you gain. If you are, in fact, a bit pressed for time, tell your potential client right off the bat. “Arnold, just so you know, I have to run in about five minutes, but I am all yours right now.”

Recognize that for some potential clients the phone call booking the appointment is the most stressful thing they have done for a while. Even successful, confident, men may be well outside their comfort zone calling an escort. It may take them a little while to come around to the point of their call. You hold the cards here and because you do, you have the option of making it easy for your caller to ask for an appointment. But there is no need to rush. In fact, there are a lot of reasons not to jump right in, beginning with the fact you are learning a lot about your prospective client in those intervening minutes.

Asking a few questions breaks the ice and gives you not only information, but also an impression of your prospective date. “Do you live in town or are you visiting?” is an easy question and one which gives you a bit of data. “Have you made an appointment like this before?” (Note “an appointment like this” rather than “visited an escort” – you never know if it is law enforcement calling or recording. Be discreet.) With a visitor it is always a good idea to ask where they are staying both for screening purposes and to get a sense of their financial status.

A good question is easy for a prospective client to answer but the answer also gives you a chance to chat a bit. If an out of town client is staying at a nice hotel downtown, tell him about the perfect little, “only locals know”, restaurant around the corner. If he tells you that, no, he has never had an appointment like this before that can be your cue to reassure him and suggest that he is in for a treat.

Some potential clients will want to get right down to business. They will want to discuss prices and activities between consenting adults. Many escorts point blank refuse to discuss these details on the phone and simply refer their prospective clients to their web sites. Others are more than happy to discuss donations “for their time”. Getting into the play by play is almost certainly an error – law enforcement is one issue, but the other and more important issue is that you are not operating a phone sex service.

What to do if a prospective client wants to know exactly what services you offer? This is where a website can be a Godsend. You can list whatever you want and refer the client to the site. Alternatively, you can very easily say, “Of course, for both our protection, I don’t discuss what might happen on the phone. We’ll have plenty of time for that when we meet.” Either way, it is always better to avoid any sort of sexual conversation.

Great ‘phone’ is achieved by actively listening to your prospective client. Active listening is an art but it is also something which anyone can learn the rudiments of. Part of active listening is letting your caller speak, without interruption, until they are actually finished what they want to say. Then, take what they have said and reflect it back to them with a question or two. So, for example, if a caller tells you he is in town for a couple of days and is looking for some company, you come back with, “Well I have some availability tonight and tomorrow night, which would work better for you?” At this point he is already engaged in booking an appointment.

As an active listener you are naturally going to be paying close attention to what your prospective client is saying.  There is no reason at all not to flirt a little – or even a lot.  Nothing explicit, just enticements based on what you are hearing. If he is a businessman staying in a plush hotel, tell him about your cute little business suit. If he tells you he’s having a hectic, stressful, day, tell him about how relaxing your in-call is. What you are actively listening for are your prospective client’s needs, your responses are all about fulfilling those needs. The consenting adult activity is the icing on a very attractive cake.

Speaking softly helps a lot (which is why you want a great phone connection). Your client deals with verbally aggressive women at work and, often, at home. Creating a degree of flirtatious calm is immensely seductive.

There is, of course, a business component to a first call; but before you get to the identity confirmation and reference check – if that is what you require – getting to know a little about your potential client can be a great introduction for you both. You’ll know if you want the booking within a few minutes of beginning the call. Closing the sale does not have to be difficult.

Again, following the Salesmanship 101 handbook, you ask for the sale. After a few minutes of teasing fun, it should be very easy to say, “Arnold, this is great fun…now, when do you want to see me?” Get that commitment before moving on to whatever screening you use. Getting the “yes” always precedes the necessary paper work.

Giving great phone is about projecting a sense of empathy, enthusiasm and easy professionalism all at the same time. Do it right and you sell your bookings and create just the right mood for a delicious date.

11 | DRESSING UP TO UP YOUR GAME

Building a distinctive profile as an escort means standing out from the crowd. You don’t have to be the most beautiful girl in the ads, nor have the biggest breasts, nor offer the kinkiest encounters; but you need to be memorable, you need a distinctive style. How do you do that?

With a measure of style, an escort will both attract the well-established clients she seeks, and discourage the random cheapskates she doesn’t. Style is tied to persona and to brand – the persona is your escort personality, your brand is what you promote.

A look at the ads reveals a pretty basic approach. Both the text and the photos are all about large breasts and fulsome derrières, with a certain Vegas vibe in the form of abbreviated leather skirts and clingy bits of polyester hugging every curve. There are some gorgeous girls, but there are few stylish ones.

Most of those ads offer standard services at standard rates to a broad market of men. If you want to cater to that market, all you need is a thong and a pair of stripper heels, a quick selfie with your makeup littering your bathroom sink surround, and you are good to go.

However, for the middle and upper end of the escort market – whether advertising or agency driven – a more discreet, more sophisticated look is required. This is particularly true if you will be taken to good restaurants or will be visiting hotels. If that is where you aim to take your business, you need a strategy and a style.

Dressing that garners admiration and turns heads requires a plan and some money – though not as much as you might think. It also takes a degree of commitment to taking good care of yourself. Not only will your escort business improve, so will your self-image and confidence. Most of all, you must believe that you are worth top dollar as an escort and be determined to achieve it.

Rules:

Rules are made for breaking but they can also streamline your life. Here are a few tips:

- Expensive women wear pale or monochromatic clothes

- Less is always more

- Shoes coordinate, they don’t necessarily match

- One good handbag in a neutral colour is sufficient

- Natural fibers – cotton, linen, wool look luxurious because they are

- Pretty lingerie is always the right choice

- A skirt or dress is always to be preferred to trousers unless you are yachting

- Simple, well-defined lines can conceal many a figure flaw

- The simpler the dress, the more time a man has to look at who’s wearing it

- Leave lots to the imagination

Basics

At the higher end, escorts have appointments in both the daytime and in the evening. While an escort may see the bulk of her clientele in her apartment, she needs to be prepared to have lunch, a drink, or dinner.

On a budget, outfitting such a wardrobe seems daunting – and expensive. Three outfits with coordinating bags, shoes, and accessories purchased in a department store or a designer outlet can set a girl back hundreds of dollars, even on sale. So, don’t shop there. Consignment, vintage, and thrift stores all have gorgeous, one-of-a-kind clothes at a quarter to a tenth of retail prices.  The way you dress will look unique, not off-the-rack. Remember, style never goes out of fashion. Wear what suits your figure and personality. Scan Vogue for inspiration and replicate looks you love in your own inimitable way.

To begin, think in terms of key pieces. Smart separates will give you lots of fashion mileage.

The most basic item every woman, escort or not, needs is a well-made, well-fitting, long sleeved, white cotton shirt. (Ideally you need about five, but start with one.) And yes, you will either have to pay for dry cleaning or learn the art of ironing. This shirt can pair with skirts, tuck into tailored trousers, be left outside your jeans for those casual occasions, or serve as a simple cover up for swimwear.

Next, in all its glory, the little black dress (LBD). In jersey, cotton, linen, or a really fine wool, the LBD really does go from cocktails to dinner without missing a fashion beat. Women have been wearing them since Audrey Hepburn made hers famous in Breakfast at Tiffanys in 1961. Not sure what you should buy? Check out the iconic Diane von Furstenburg wrap dress. Ever so flattering for virtually every woman. If you have nice arms, you can go sleeveless. Until you have a collection of both day and evening wear, keep the styling simple and the neckline modest so the dress looks perfect anywhere. Inject fashionable flourishes with a colourful scarf or jacket, statement jewelry, or enviable shoes.

Another wardrobe workhorse for the top level escort is the skirt. A simple pencil skirt above or below the knee, will give you some afternoon options as will a fuller skirt in solids or a subtle print. By choosing a core colour scheme for your wardrobe at the outset rather than an every-colour-of-the-rainbow approach, means your wardrobe works together so you get more looks with fewer pieces. Mixing and matching at its finest. Black and white with bits of grey and hits of red is a timeless combination.

Even though a girl can never have too many shoes, begin with a pair of 3-inch pumps and a pair of flats. Black and beige go with almost everything.

Lingerie

Opt for stockings – please, please NOT pantyhose– whether stay-ups or the full gartered glory. Think Kate Moss in the unforgettable Agent Provocateur ads. (Look this up if you have forgotten or don’t know what I’m talking about.) I assure you, no sausage-casing pantyhose can look as drop dead sexy as stockings. Look for a good black garter belt with four straps, three back hooks, and, ideally, metal garter clasps – it will pay its way, believe me. Black, white, and beige or are all practical and flattering colour choices. Leave the neon lingerie for girls of lesser taste. Seamed stockings are very, very sexy and, for a gentleman of a certain age, deeply evocative. Search vintage shops and Ebay for the real deal. In general, steer clear of tacky sex shop attire. Lovely corsets, for instance, can be found on-line and if you are lucky in thrift stores. Oh, you clever girl!

Does your closet contain a slip? Yes, I do know that no-one has worn a slip in fifty years, but you should. Modern slips are much better than the ubiquitous piece of nylon and elastic of yesteryear. Look for silk and lace, and body hugging spandex for fitted silhouettes.  If you look closely, the actresses who walk the red carpet are wearing a filmy layer between their dress and their Spanx. Ah, if only the Duchess of Cambridge had put on a slip, her Marilyn moment would not have been quite so tabloid worthy.

Concerning your lingerie needs, there is no need to be matchy matchy about bra and panties, but it’s nice if you do. Never skimp on the enhancement possibilities of a good bra. Push-up models and clever padding is one bit of deception you really should engage in. Your new fab clothes will fit better, your date will be delighted.

So there you have it. If you have scoured the thrifts and vintage stores you should be able to put together all these basics, including shoes and at least one great handbag for a modest sum and had some fun in the bargain. But be warned, thrifting, can become addictive. Hope you have a big closet.

Looking Expensive and Worth It

The well-heeled client a high-end escort attracts would not be caught dead with a girl who looks like she might actually be an escort. They are paying for the companionship of a gorgeous woman who knows how to look and act like a lady in public. But not just any lady, the sort of femme fatale who would be the envy of his friends. If you are unsure or awkward in social situations, or intimidated by two forks and three spoons, brush up on your etiquette. Impeccable manners open the doors you want to go through.

Clothes are just one piece of the luxe escort package. Grooming is also very important. Invest in a good, not too fashion forward, hair cut. While most men love long hair, unless it truly is your crowning glory, go for a classic, shoulder length style that suits your face shape and enhances the type of hair you have. Accept what you have---embrace those curls or those poker straight locks. Busy escorts don’t have time to be a slave to their straightening or curling iron. Keep your hair clean and avoid over styling and product overload. Touchable, shiny, healthy hair is much more attractive than a stiff coif. Find a good hair stylist and take their recommendations to look your best.

A high end escort is super attentive to grooming and hygiene. Fresh from her bath, her skin is soft and slightly fragrant. Her nails are trimmed, buffed and polished---light for day, darker for evening. A perfect pedicure peeps out from those stunning heels. Teeth brushed and flossed, breath fresh. Keep your skincare routine as simple and natural as you can. Ignore the glossy ads for expensive potions and creams. Coconut oil is a little miracle in a tub and can replace your cleanser, make-up remover, and body lotion for a fraction of the price. And you can cook with it, too!

Makeup – did I mention less is more? Know which colours are most flattering, and learn how to apply your makeup like a pro. If you are unsure, get a lesson. Often the department store beauty counters offer free makeovers (nice to buy a little something though). Watch and learn. Dial it back hard for appointments before 7:00 PM. Make sure to blot your lipstick, and if you are using mascara and eyeliner, a little goes a long way.

If you sit in a café near a store where the expensive women shop, you can observe some of their secrets to finesse. Firstly, there are very few overweight upper-class women. Which means as a high-end escort, you need to be fit and healthy. Secondly, these women walk with purpose and exquisite posture. Their backs straight, their shoulders set back, their heads held high. They glide, not shuffle. You will also notice that women in the upper echelon travel light. A phone, a bag and if it looks like rain, an umbrella. Sunglasses are de rigueur in all weather, of course. When shopping or lunching, these ladies do not lug around a big bag, just a clutch or a chic vintage purse. Since your job as an escort requires you to take along more than just lipstick, cash, and car keys, tuck a separate tote in your vehicle with all the other things you might need for an outcall. Elegance equals attention to small details and an awareness of the impression one makes.

And so, an escort needs to learn the byways of the world in which she wishes to travel if she is to attract the crème de la crème of clientele. For instance, when a she has arranged to meet a gentleman in a restaurant, and he is a stranger, she will have ensured beforehand that his name is left with the maitre d’ so all she needs to say on arrival is “Mr. Smith’s table, please” in order to find him. No attention-attracting silly search for a man who certainly doesn’t want to be noticed or announced. He will appreciate and trust an escort with such savvy and discretion.

Gifts are their Own Reward

While an escort will have to make the initial investment in her wardrobe, from there it is not unusual to have gentlemen callers provide the rest. The luxuries rather than the necessities. Of course you no longer need a watch in the cell phone age, but a Cartier tank watch just somehow does it better. Gifts are perks of the job, but there are a few guidelines to keep in mind. Always make it clear that gifts are not part of your escorting fee. It is best to be specific about what you desire. Tactfully, of course. Don’t let the poor man wander through Nieman Marcus armed with only his credit card and his own taste.

Of course there is a great afternoon escorting date to be had going for lunch followed by a little shopping spree. Plan this as an lovely outing, not a chore. Men generally hate shopping. Have what you want already picked out and set aside and arrive when the stores are fairly empty. Let him make the choice between the lacy demi-cup and the sheer balconnette. Match your men to your needs – that nice banker with the high heel fetish will be in heaven deciding if you are to have the peep toe or the closed Louboutins.

Little gifts like lingerie and sumptuous cashmere sweaters are always welcome gifts and offer the gentleman the opportunity to see his gift adorning beautiful you. The internet is very useful to point him right at the perfect gift and provide all required sizing information. Set up a Pinterest page and an Amazon wish list and your escorting clients will soon get to know your wishes.

Larger gifts like cars, houses, holidays, or gems are the stuff of movies, but if you are playing in that select league, the world is your oyster. He is one completely satisfied (nay, delighted) man and likely has secured you exclusively as his mistress, and the lucky recipient of his lavish attentions. Closer to reality, escorts are sometimes given designer goods such as coats, evening dresses, and handbags by wealthy clients who want to celebrate an occasion or simply for no reason other than because you are just so darn adorable. Your hard work has worked!

Moving your Brand Up-Market

With a few great clothes and some fabulous photographs – lots of young, aspiring photographers are delighted to shoot on a time-for-pictures trade deal. Look on Craigslist or ModelMayhem.com. Do find a good photographer. Shop around. Find one whose style is in sync with yours, and whose personality is one you can work with.

Now you are ready to take your escort business to the next level. Begin with your advertising campaign. Something along these lines:

Elegant young lady delights in entertaining discerning gentlemen in the manner to which they would like to become accustomed. Lascivious lunches, convivial cocktails, or decadent dining. Enjoy the engaged attentions of a discrete companion.

The accompanying photos should be completely safe for workplace viewing. A black and white headshot, and a full body shot all you really need. The white shirt is great for photography and with a couple of buttons undone, wind in your hair, you have a effective promotional tool. Your shots should look completely different from the other escort pictures. They should be more “model” than escort. Your ad will jump off the page because you actually took the time to do it well. The only hint of your profession being the fact that it is on the escort advertising pages. In this field, subtlety stands out.

So, now you are ready to make your move up. You have a style; a plan; and your intelligence, wit, and ambitions to guide you.

12 | GET GLOSSY – LEVEL UP YOUR ESCORT LOOK

There are literally hundreds of make-up styles, haircuts, manicures and grooming tips a girl can use to change her look (see Youtube for everything and more). But if you look closely at gorgeous women – and your clients want you as gorgeous as you can get – they have a sort of shimmer which comes through no matter how they are dressed or where they are. It’s an inner confidence and outer polish that adds up to a look that turns heads and attracts envy. It is this unmistakable allure which allows them to forget about themselves and focus on the world, the task at hand, and, most importantly, the person they are with. These are women who are not continually fussing, and primping and priming. They don’t need a mirror to know they look beautiful.

How to get that glossy look?

GORGEOUS HAIR

A really good hair cut is a brilliant thing, but is of little point if your hair is damaged, dull and lifeless. I found my wonderful stylist by stopping a woman on the street to ask who did her fabulous hair. She was flattered and even gave me a card from the salon (I have a feeling she has been asked before, and is wonderfully prepared and gracious when it happens).

A good haircut is the foundation for your look so take the time to discuss what works for your hair type and face shape with the stylist before having anything done. Book a consultation before you commit to an appointment. That way you can decide whether you and the stylist are compatible and comfortable with each other. Trusting someone with you hair is a huge leap of faith. Tell him/her what you want and like but also ask what they recommend. A stranger can see you in an objective way you can’t and sometimes a push out of your comfort zone is just what you need to go from cute to gorgeous. Look through magazines and bring in hairstyles you like. This way the stylist will clearly understand the look you want to achieve. Another tip is to be honest about the amount of time and effort you are willing to spend on your hair at home. Happily, wash and wear hair with sexy, tousled beachy waves is very in vogue right now.

GORGEOUS SKIN

Healthy, well-cared for skin glows. It is luminous, radiant. You don’t have to spend a fortune on designer skincare products to transform your skin. In fact, less is usually best. There is however, one item that no one should be without: sun block. It is essential to apply it every day---yes, year round---to avoid skin damage like pigmentation, wrinkles, leathery skin, and skin cancer. Opt for a SPF 30 minimum, more if you are spending a lot of time at the beach. Don’t think a foundation with SPF built in is going to be enough. It’s not. Protect your lips, neck, décolletage, feet and hands as well. Buy a stunning hat and sunglasses. Sashay around the pool (and the city) like you are Greta Garbo.

Skin care products range from remarkably inexpensive – Nivea Cream for your feet and legs – to moderate – I use organic Dr. Hauschka---to shocking – Crème d’Mer. Any product will take some time to work so be patient and don’t expect miracles after one use. In fact, you sometimes need to try a few to find the specific products which are right for you. Do ask for help (and samples) from the pros at the beauty counters and do your research on line before you buy. But best advice? Whatever you choose, be consistent. Even the best cream can’t work if you don’t use it.

Take the time to pamper yourself by making your morning and evening skincare routine a delight rather than a chore. Splurge on a luxurious face towel, set your beauty products on a lovely tray in your bathroom, put cotton balls in a crystal dish instead of leaving them in the plastic bag… you get the idea. Remember beauty comes from within as well as skin deep. Feel as beautiful as you look.

Make up comes off every night. Religiously. No skipping because you are tired. And in terms of application, heavy foundations tend to make you look old, not glossy. Contouring is fine in moderation and lightly used. Highlighting your best asset (eyes? lips? cheekbones?) can make you shimmer. And always do a final check in daylight not just the bathroom mirror.

While I know girls barely know what stockings and hose are these days, they have a terrific ability to make good legs look great and give a finished look to any outfit. And even if they aren’t really your taste, savvy escorts indulge in them because stockings are on the lust list of virtually every client.

Healthy hair and glowing skin give you the basics for any look from Queen of the Night through Girl Next Door.

Mani/Pedi Perfection

Whether you leave it to a pro or do it yourself, keep nails short, neat, and polished. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize.

While you can have a lot of fun at the nail salon with all sorts of glittery excess, all that does is make your nails look as if they are still in high school. Which, in turn, spoils the finished, healthy look a glossy girl is striving for. Much better to go with a neutral, light, shade of polish which will not show the inevitable chips and which you can maintain yourself. If you are off to a fabulous dinner date by all means move to that sexy scarlet many men adore. As long as you have been taking care of your nails there is no reason not to.

Whether fingernails or toenails, the darker the polish the more attention it draws. If you have pretty feet, lucky you, then a darker shade can be very effective.

Pearly Whites

You know the routine: brush, floss, visit your dentist. Then smile a lot.

Routinely bleaching your teeth either with the many excellent home products or at your dentists will give you a dazzling smile. Is there any such thing as teeth which are too white?

When you start making serious money you might want to consider cosmetic dentistry if you have dental issues. It is amazing what dentists are able to do in a non-invasive way.

Clean

To care properly for your skin, first figure out what sort of skin you have. The skin on your face is different from the skin on your elbow. You may have very oily facial skin but dry skin on your body. Pick your products accordingly.

Soap never touches my face, but a good morning scrub with a gentle soap in the shower is a great way to start the day. You want your skin to glow after a shower with gentle exfoliation. Use a loofah sponge and use gentle circular motions. You want the layer of dead cells and oils to be lifted away from your skin but you don’t want to scrub so hard that you damage the healthy live tissue just below the surface. In addition, you want to avoid the dull, dry, flaky skin which can result if you are using harsh soaps, hot hot water and rough towels. A good, inexpensive and widely available brand is the famous Dr. Bonner’s liquid soap. Its natural formulation is nourishing to the skin, and the peppermint formula is a morning eye-opener (and the bottle gives you something to read in the shower). Even Gwenyth Paltrow uses it. Go buy some. You can even use it to wash your lingerie, your floors, your sink.

Paying daily attention to your feet with a pumice bar at the end of your shower when your skin is soft will avoid calluses. A quick buffing and moisturizing every day means that there will be next to no build up for your next pedicure. Better still, your shoes, even your heels, will fit better and your stockings won’t snag. And speaking of smooth, Dr. B’s does double duty as a shaving foam.

The “girl on the go” shower sets you up for your busy day, but at the close, a long soak in a hot bath is a sensual transition towards evening. While the luxury of a glorious bubble bath with a glass of Chablis and a good book usually has to be reserved for off duty days, even the busiest escort can take fifteen minutes to enjoy a bath.

Bath oils, bubble bath or a bath bomb is your ticket here. Epsom salts are a wonderful way to de-stress and unkink tense and sore muscles. A face cloth or soft sponge is all you really need if you had your exfoliating shower earlier.

Put on some music, light a scented candle, and just let your thoughts drift (no making a mental grocery list). And make sure you have a gorgeous, fluffy towel within easy reach. And remember to pat yourself dry rather than vigorous rubbing. Have a bathrobe nearby and you can move on to your evening makeup and dressing.

A Touch of Sun – Or Not?

Glossy girls look healthy. For many that means a little – and I do mean little – sun on face, arms and legs. Of course, the truth is that even a little sun is not brilliant for your skin. However, ten minutes of morning sun followed by sunscreen will keep your Vitamin D levels up. In the winter take Vitamin D supplements. There are many high quality brands and this vitamin is relatively inexpensive.  Sun-tanning itself is a terrible idea and don’t even think about a sunbed.

To get that golden bronzed glow without inflicting sun damage, there are excellent bronzers products available for every skin tone and type. But, for Heaven’s sake be selective. First off, no glossy girl is ever orange. Or yellow or any other colour which is not her own natural tan plus at most a couple of shades darker. Try samples and test them for a day. Remember that many fake tan products will actually darken with minimal exposure to actual sunlight. Second, understand that a fake all over tan is a huge commitment. It may be worth it but it takes time. Two pro tips: wear latex gloves when applying the tan to avoid the tell-tale tanned palms syndrome. Second, get a “buffing” mitten to work the tanning solution into your skin. Be prepared to wear a loose, dark, dress while your fake tan sets.

Critical point: with fake tanning products less is more and two shades lighter than you think you want is what you want. The era of the deep dark tan is over. Sun kissed is lovely and more than enough. If this just seems too much summertime wasted, embrace the luminous beauty of pale, perfect skin.

Glossy Girls Dress Simply

A famous fashion photographer, Irving Penn did most of his studio shots with just one light. Asked why, he explained that two lights were “just too complicated”.

A girl with swishy hair, meticulous grooming and glowing skin will look her best in simple clothes, but clever designs. The fact she is an escort should never ever be apparent from how she dresses---no plunging necklines, skirts up to here, cheap fabrications, or shoes only found in a sex shop. You are the attraction and should never be upstaged by your dress.

While there are occasions where bows and frills and flounces may be called for, those are few and far between. An escort can make a lasting impression with nothing more complicated than a little black dress for evening and a pencil skirt and white cotton shirt for day. A chic, monochromatic sundress for afternoon dates is ideal for summer. By streamlining her wardrobe to workhorse separates and coordinating colourways, a glossy girl is able to have really well-made clothes that fit (or are custom tailored to fit). (Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge is a prime example of a woman who has clothes crafted to fit. Jennifer Aniston famously has her t-shirts tailored. No, really, and you can too. Here’s the link.)

Just as her hair, make-up and nails have that finished look, a glossy girl chooses clothes that are flattering. When selecting wardrobe staples take into account your height, weight and body type rather than merely the latest trends. Classic wardrobe staples like a trench coat, white shirt, LBD, leather boots can be worn season after season. If you look after them. Polish and protect your boots after a day out in inclement weather. Store them with a boot tree insert to retain their shape. Iron your white shirts. Yes, you. You would be amazed what a little cornstarch in warm water does sprayed lightly on a cotton shirt or linen skirt. Sticking to natural fabrics – cotton, linen, wool and cashmere if you can afford it – means that your wardrobe will look rich, even if you aren’t. (Yet.)

Jewelry, Bags and Shoes

This is a category that is the downfall of many a sensible girl. What is it about jewelry, handbags and shoes that can mesmerize said sensible girl to make her willingly, nay, eagerly, part with her hard-earned cash?

You know about Ebay, the realreal.com, Net-A-Porter, your local vintage and consignment stores. Just avoid paying full retail. Many “used” bags are sold with tags still on for a steep discount or worn only a couple of times. Beware of counterfeits, they are out there and hard to detect. All I can say is think twice, maybe thrice; then buy without regret.

But with bags, shoes and jewelry the glossy girl is looking for sleek, real and elegant. Two, simple, real gold or silver bangles are more elegant than an armful of obviously fake “jewels”. A plain, made by real Italians, buttery leather bag is more versatile and far more attractive than a bag which screams “fake” by being covered in logos. A pair of vinyl six inch heel, three inch platforms scream “stripper”, where a vintage pair of three inch heels in real leather, no platform, whisper “lady”. Glossy girls are always ladies.

Attitude

Nothing destroys a look like a slouch. Learn a few model-y moves to walk, sit and move with grace.

Posture is a telling thing; it tends to reflect how a person feels about themselves. Standing up straight, walking deliberately, holding your head held high are positive signals. Projecting confidence into your world is a decision just like slouching is a decision. Glossy girls project confidence. They have worked hard to create their look, they have polished and edited and thought carefully about how they want others to see them. Even if they actually woke up on the wrong side of the bed and burnt the toast, they don’t let it show. By faking it, it doesn’t take long to shake the bad mood and really mean that bounce in your step.

Regardless of where a glossy girl’s escort life takes her, whether it is to a grand hotel for a sumptuous champagne dinner or just to her front door, she makes it clear she is worth it. If you think you are special; others will too. It’s that self-fulfilling prophesy working its magic.

Confidence can be a double-edged sword; beautiful women can be aloof, cold, impolite, demanding, shrill; in essence, better appreciated from a distance. Truly beautiful women are passionate about life, are interested in others and are kind and gracious. Their manners are impeccable, they are polite, friendly, extending compliments, commending excellent service, and asking questions and actually listening to the answers. At the same time, expecting to be treated as a lady goes with the territory. Doors are opened, arms offered. A lost art you say? It’s amazing how men will step up to the challenge when confronted with a beautiful woman who expects him to be a gentleman.

A confident escort is almost always a much safer escort. Her confidence, her certainty that she is worth every penny her client is paying, means she tends to take charge of her encounters. Her glow, her glossy exterior, her clever clothes give her an edge which men will enjoy but which will also intimidate most of her clients just a little. This is a good thing.

Ultimately, a glossy girl has taken charge of her presentation and it shows. Her clients will, at some level, “get it”. When they “get it” they will realize they have leveled up in the escort game.

Glossy girls are more than meets the eye.

Ten Things an Escort Can’t Live Without

What do you really, really need for your escorting business to prosper? Sure, great ads, fabulous photographs and a brilliant attitude all help. Condoms in several sizes and lube are simply part of the furniture. But let’s get right to the key stuff.

1. A SmartPhone

There is no single invention ever which is as useful to an escort as a smart phone. Whether you have an iPhone or an Android device, the convenience of having a handheld computer with you wherever you go is critical for success.

Need to update your website or your blog? Take a quick selfie in a pretty bra and put it up on your site. Need to put an ad up on Skipthegames.com? Your smart phone can do that. Keeping notes on your encounters? (And you really should.) You can keep your notes in an encrypted storage space in the iCloud which you can access from your phone – because you don’t want your client notes actually on your phone.

From booking to banking, your smart phone can do it all. Plus, it is a flashlight and it can give you directions to your out-call locations.  And, of course, as you are waiting for a date, you can play Angry Birds.

In fact, a smart phone can be used to give you cover when you are meeting a date in a public place and you don’t want to look obvious. A person staring at their smart phone becomes effectively invisible to hotel security and the general public.

As importantly, a smart phone makes texting and other forms of instant messaging a breeze. While you can check your email on a smart phone, most escorts are using text messaging to check in with their clients and give them the directions to their in-call location. Texting leaves fewer traces on a client’s work computer or, worse, work server.

If you are making arrangements to meet a client, a smart phone can give you the names and locations of the bars and restaurants near his hotel and you can text him the address knowing he’ll be able to get directions on his smart phone.

Plus, with a little Bluetooth speaker, you can bring your own music to your encounters with a playlist or just by finding the right internet radio station. A bit of smooth jazz or Sade’s greatest hits can add to the mood.

Of course, if you are a more traditional sort of girl, you can use your smart phone to make and receive phone calls. Low tech, but often the mainstay of a successful independent escort’s business.

2. A Little Black Dress

Well, ideally several little black dresses. There is really nothing so versatile whether you are entertaining at home or off for a luxurious dinner before a night cap in a gentleman’s hotel suite. The LBD can be deliciously demure or dangerously decadent. It can reveal or conceal, but it always adds style to any occasion.

The trick with a little black dress is to look for dresses which are as simple as possible. Even if they are impossibly short or cut incredibly tightly, the fabric should be almost entirely without ornamentation. Perhaps buttons or a bit of stitching on the neckline. The little black dress is all about accentuating your natural beauty. If you have a great figure, a silky knit can cling to every curve. A lovely neck and arms can be set off with a sleeveless or spaghetti strapped little number.

Entertaining at home, you might opt for a fuller, longer skirt and a daring décolletage. However, if you are meeting your date in a bar or restaurant, the plunging neckline may be a bit over the top. Chic girls know that it is never clever to show too much or, worse, be uncomfortable trying to preserve a modicum of modesty in a public place.

The great thing about little black dresses is that they never date. Which means you can often find something brilliant from 1952 in a vintage shop for a tenth of what you will pay for a similar dress at Nordstrom’s. Fabulous shoes, a bright swing coat and a single strand of pearls – tell one of your gentlemen his mission is to find you a really nice set – and you are dressed for the evening. Of course you’ll need….

3. Stockings

I do go on about stockings and there is a reason: a woman in a pair of stockings, especially sheer, wispy black stockings, most desirably with a seam, looks finished; beautifully turned out; in a word–impeccable.

Of course I know that many girls under the age of thirty have often never worn pantyhose, much less stockings. The delights of a bare, suntanned leg have their attractions but escorts are in the business of creating a pleasing alternative to the ordinary. Stockings are drop-dead extraordinary! Need convincing or inspiration? Check out http://www.laperla.com/

Pretty stockings and a gorgeous but functional garter belt, serve a whole set of functions. For some men, especially those wonderful older, wealthy men, stockings are a depiction of an elegant era, a haunting nostalgia. For others, they are simply a little, delightful, surprise.

There are a few tricks to stockings. Buy more than one pair in the same exact colour. Stockings are very delicate. They will run easily, so if you have a few pairs in the same colour, you can swap the runned one out. To prevent runs, make sure your hands and nails are very smooth when you slip them up your legs. If your hands are a bit rough, a pair of lingerie gloves or other gloves can save you.

Men love to see a glimpse of thigh above your stockings tops; but that should be something you decide to offer, rather than a consequence of sitting down. So, yes, you do need to wear a slightly longer skirt or dress to keep everything concealed until the moment when you flirtily flash a glimpse.

Stockings should not be worn with open-toed shoes. A high-heeled pump is the ticket. Seams, if you are lucky enough to have seamed stockings, should always be straight. Something which can be achieved by fastening the rear garter tab directly above the seam.

Always give yourself an extra five minutes to get the garter belt and stockings on just right. Contrary to the ads, run the garter straps under the panty so that the panties can come off without a great deal of untangling.

4. Candles

In-call or out-call, having a few candles is a wonderful way to set the mood. Half a dozen beeswax tapers or, for out-calls, beeswax votive candles create the flattering candle light which can really enhance your encounter.

Avoid scented candles. Even the nicer ones will leave their scent on your gentleman’s clothing and that, I fear, is a bit of a tip off that he may have been somewhere he shouldn’t. Plus, in general, men are not particularly enamored of the sorts of scents candles typically have. And, there is no pleasing everyone. Beeswax, on the other hand, has a delightful natural scent all its own.

The lovely thing about having a few candles in your bag is that you can take a few minutes to place and light them on an out-call. For an in-call, lighting the candles can be a wonderful way of making the transition to more adult activities. And, it is a touch that shows you care about making the encounter as lovely as possible.

5. A Riding Crop

Even men who are not in the least bit submissive sometimes enjoy a girl with a crop. Nothing elaborate. Just a fifteen-inch black crop, ideally with a leather striker.

Should your date be in need of a little correction, well, you know what to do. Bear in mind that a riding crop makes quite a lot of noise when applied with a bit of vigor. Not ideal for hotels with paper thin walls.

As instruments of correction go, riding crops are mainly for show rather than the infliction of any real pain. But when it becomes apparent that your gentleman might want to explore his submissive side, having a crop handy makes it easy.

6. Your Favorite Vibe

An hour, much less two hours, can be a very long time. While there are dates where the time just flies by, there are others where your client is, for whatever reason, somehow not getting into the spirit of the thing. Once you’ve tried the fun of a strip tease and more than a little oral and hand attention, if your client is still not caught up in the delights of consenting adult activities, it may be time to provide a little show.

A discrete, seven inch vibrator fits neatly in your bag and, as you probably already know, can provide hours of fun. But here, it just has to provide a few minutes of erotic distraction. Where a toy show is usually a special request, taking time to warm up with your vibe as your client sits or lies watching, takes a lot of pressure off your client while providing him with a great deal of visual stimulation.

Men are wonderfully visual creatures – thank heavens – and watching a girl and her vibrator is remarkably horny making. But take your time. There are many places where a vibrator can create pleasant sensations and they are all places where your client wants to look. Remember to tease.

Don’t forget that a vibrator also can give a gentleman goose bumps if applied with a degree of firmness and skill.

The point is that having a vibe in your bag means you have the option of bringing it into play. If it is at home on your bedside table and you are in a hotel room, that option is extinguished. So, never leave home without it.

7. Perfect Red lipstick

There is nothing more classic, or more provocative than scarlet lips. It evokes old Hollywood glamour, pinups, and is even backed up by science (yes, studies prove that men really do love it). Finding your perfect shade is a matter of matching it with your skin tone. If you are new to berry lips, start with sheer. Then work up to something bold and rich. Keep your other makeup simple: crisp black liner, black mascara, and a whisper of blush does the trick. Oh, and don’t forget to smile–red lipstick makes teeth look whiter.

8. Great Towels and Sheets

A client comes to your apartment. He is paying a good dollar for the pleasure of your company. But he is also paying for an overall experience–which includes the whole environment. Sadly, a lot of escorts forget this and simply miss the fact a visit to an escort should be a wonderful, luxurious, experience. So consider and create an ambience.

Now, the reality is that you may not have a swanky apartment or designer furniture, but if you combine clean with tidy, most men will not even notice a slightly sub-par sofa. Fresh flowers are not expensive and give any room an instant facelift. A bowl of lemons in the spring, pine cones in the winter, are touches that make a statement. Details matter.

What you guests will notice are worn sheets and threadbare towels For not very much money, you can get great towels. Stick to white because when you wash them, and you will be washing them often, you can put a little bleach in and they will come out like new. Fabric softener is option as well. For special clients, run your towels through your dryer ten minutes before your date is scheduled so they are lovely and warm when he has his shower.

Good sheets can be expensive but, if you shop the sales, you can get good sheets at a steep discount. Again, white has the huge advantage of being bleachable. Yes, you can get 500 thread count sheets but the fact is most of your clients will not really know the difference if you get good, 200 thread count sheets. But, and it is a critical thing, spend the little extra and get pure cotton.

Buy something like three bottom sheets for every top sheet. You’ll be able to change the sheets between clients and they will notice.

One other hint–treat yourself to the luxury of a laundry service. Yes, it may cost $20-$30 and you have to get your timing right, but the joy of having fresh, clean perfectly folded towels and sheets is just the sort of little luxury a few of your tip dollars can buy.

9. Little Black Slip

Under a little black dress, goes a little black slip. Or chemise as their shorter, more risqué cousins are called.

Yes, another piece of lingerie which girls stopped wearing, foolishly, a couple of decades ago. There are a lot of reasons why slips make tremendous sense for any woman wearing a dress or a skirt; but for an escort, they can be absolutely essential.

What a slip offers is an additional layer between the world and you naked. This means that, as things move from the conversational, you are able to take off your dress but still leave your charms unrevealed. In the gentle world of teasing and pleasing, another layer adds to the excitement. Plus, if you are a little shy, you can easily leave your slip on throughout your encounter.

Slips themselves come in all manner of fabrics and styles. From a very simple unornamented wisp of black to lacy confections with fitted bodices and spaghetti straps. Your best bet for finding nice slips are thrift stores and vintage clothing shops. They are not expensive and owning lots is fun.

If you are handy with a needle, a tuck or two can make a loose slip a bodycon delight but just a bit harder to get on and off.

Of course, slips of a very superior sort are still made in glorious silks and satins. If you enjoy coveting, check out PatriciaFieldwalker.com. A really beautiful silk slip is the perfect Christmas gift for a gentleman to give a lady, and there is no reason why your regulars should not know what you love and covet (even better, put a Wish List on your website to make gift buying a breeze for those that want to give you something special.) Gorgeous slips are available from Amazon in silk and all manner of other delicious fabrics.

10. Refreshment

Escorting is an essentially social activity. So is eating, and so is having a glass of wine. An escort entertaining at her in-call should consider having a little plate of something and a nice glass of wine to go with it.

Wine is very much an option as well as a matter of choice and taste, but here are a few, reasonably priced, suggestions.

- Something bubbly.

An escort should always have a bottle of something sparkling in her refrigerator–it’s a staple. There is something wonderfully decadently about bubbles, and the flute it is served in. However, you need not spurge on real champagne (let’s hope he does, though) to get the taste and the effect.

- An Afternoon White

A Chablis, Sancere, Albarino, or Reisling will always be a top pour. And a bit off the beaten track; which shows just how worldly and fascinating you are.

- An Afternoon Rose

Walk directly to the French section of the wine shop and pick something from Provence in a pale hue. Winner.

- An Evening White

A weightier white with perhaps a touch of oak. Think Chenin Blanc, Chardonnay, Viogner.

- An Evening Red

A Pinot Noir always hits the mark as does Cru Beaujolais.

- Cocktail Hour

For the girl serious about style and savvy about libations, invest in a chic bar cart on wheels. It makes a striking addition to your décor (especially if it is a unique, vintage piece like an Art Deco glass and chrome design. Ebay is a great resource for such finds.) As far as stock, start with a few staples that you like, and add more over time. Begin with something oh - so chic and beguiling like St. Germain, a French elderflower liqueur.

A little plate of something, for me, means a bit of smoked salmon, capers and toasts. Also failsafe: a pleasing piece of cheese and some bread. Nothing fancy, (but real cheese please; not Kraft) and nothing too much. He is really not there for the food, but the fact you offer some, gives you a chance to sit down and actually chat with your date.

Of course, a little food and a little wine are soon finished and that is a lovely moment to move the date forward. But, by pacing your own eating and drinking, you can fill a bit of time and establish a degree of connection with your gentleman caller.

Just the Essentials

LBD, stockings, killer red lipstick, riding crop and great sheets plus a few other items and you are good to go. The old saying, “the more you know, the less you need” is especially true escorting. Don’t load yourself down with outfits which don’t work or make up which does not flatter.

If you stick to essentials your clients will notice how fabulous you are. They’ll be back for more.

13 | TIPS FOR “NO REGRETS” ESCORTING

No matter why a girl decides to escort she always wants to avoid some of the pitfalls of the business. Staying safe, avoiding unnecessary law enforcement issues, finding great clients and actually enjoying the world’s oldest profession are all achievable goals. So is making good money and having a lot of control over you time and your life. But they all begin with a “no regrets” strategy.

Staying in control of your situation is critical to the no regrets strategy. From the decision to begin escorting to how you manage your time to basic safety and dating etiquette you are either in charge of your business or someone else is. Like any other business, escorting is subject to changes in the market, price and service competition, and unanticipated opportunities. A no regrets strategy means an escort is positioned to respond to those changes and take advantage of the opportunities which come her way.

At the heart of a no regrets strategy are three key tactics – planning, routine and communication. The idea of having a “standard operating procedure” may seem a bit unspontaneous but, in fact, it provides the secure environment in which your encounters can be successful, lucrative and, often, fun.

Most of all, a “no regrets” strategy begins with a bit of thinking and planning. Everything from your escort persona to your services to your booking routine are in your control which means you have to think about them. It is all too easy to “stumble” into escorting to make this month’s rent or because it sounds like a great way to make a bit of extra money. Even if you entered the business this way rather than as a deliberate decision, it is still very worthwhile to align your business with a no regrets strategy.

Here are a few “no regrets” tips.

Safety

There is nothing more likely to cause real regret than a lack of safety. And safety starts long before it comes time to put on the party hat for activities between consenting adults. Creating your own safety is about layering. After all, before you ever speak to a potential client you have advertising out in the world.

The most obvious no regret policy is not to escort under your real name. No great insight there. But what about pictures? Your face may be your fortune but it is also easily identified. If you are putting up an ad on the internet you need to be aware that any picture you post is going to be out on the ‘net permanently.  Is that what you want? And will it be what you want in five years?

It is very possible to take gorgeous pictures with your head turned just enough to render your face unrecognizable. A bit of back lighting and you can leave a hint without putting your identity out in the world. (And paying a bit of attention to things like tattoos is never a bad idea. The beauty on your thigh may end up posted to a forum and then used to identify you.)

Being a bit vague as to services provided is important in an ad going to a general audience. Again, “no regrets” means keeping control of the situation at every step of the way. By being a bit vague in your advertising you give potential clients a reason to either call you direct or go to your website.

In your advertising, while it is smart to be vague on services, there is no reason at all to be shy about the sorts of clients you want to see or won’t see. Go ahead, be specific. “Older gentlemen only”, “successful businessmen please”, “prefer Asians” are all good ways to select clients. “Out calls only to select hotels” sends a message.

No regrets pricing is also a great idea. While there are times when an escort may have to have low rates to make some quick money, most girls regret letting their time go for less than it is worth. Keeping your prices at or above the average other girls in your city are charging will eliminate the time wasters and bottom feeders. Your prices send a message and “no regrets” means sending the right message.

No Regrets First Contact

Whether by phone, email or text, first contact with a new client is as much about your safety and protection as it is about making a date. The old Mark Twain line about “No one was ever hung for something they didn’t say” is one side of the equation, the other side is getting a sense of the potential client and some verifiable details.

The first part of the equation is simple prudence: a lady does not discuss her services over the phone or electronically with a man she has never met and had not had the opportunity to verify. While she can certainly tease a little and flirt, she needs to make it very clear that no discussion as to services or pricing will take place until she has the opportunity to verify her caller’s identity.

Different escorts use different screening techniques. However, a minimum, “no regrets”, screening process requires that you get your potential client’s real name, a real phone number and a work number to verify. You can be very upfront about these requirements and any others you may have. Of course, you should promise, and maintain, discretion. Calling a place of business you need to have a good story – it can be as simple as calling from a restaurant to “confirm a reservation” or something equally innocuous.

Routine is critical when it comes to screening. Doing the same thing the same way will help to ensure that you miss as little as possible. With a name comes a Google search. You can find almost anyone if you have their full name and the city in which they live. What you want is verification that the person you have spoken to or texted exists. But there is lots of other information out there. You can sometimes find a current picture. And you can often find a current address and telephone number.

If you have the name of the potential client’s employer, Google to make sure the company or governmental department exists. If you are lucky, if you Google the name plus the employer you will get confirmation of employment without having to make a call. But if you can’t, then your routine needs to include the call.

Make sure you Google both the number he is dialing from which should be on your call display, the number he gives you for the call back and the work number. Again, you are just verifying. Even “private” or unlisted numbers will often show up in Google results – for example a number used in a craigslist ad for a mountain bike can turn up with a real email address.

No regrets means that the information has to check out. What if it doesn’t? Well there are different levels of information “not checking out”. For example, if his phone number can’t be found by Google that is a question mark not a red flag. If everything else checks out and he is at the number he gave you when you call back it is likely not a problem. But if his place of work has never heard of him or there is no trace of that place of work on Google, that may be a place to stop.

[One thing to remember for no regrets escorting – your escort name, number and other details are harvested by Google too. Another great reason to have a separate “work” phone with a private number which you never use to sell your mountain bike on Craigslist.]

The same routine of full name, call back number, work number applies for text and email. With one critical element; no regrets means that you have to speak to the potential client before he arrives or you go on an outcall. While it is wonderful that we have electronic communication, the fact is that you can get much more of an idea about a potential client with three minutes on the phone. For example, a voice will tell you something about the age of the client, his education level and whether or not he’s calling after a few drinks. You’ll get a sense of whether he is nervous and how experienced he is with escorts.

No regrets is about trusting your instincts. If something does not “feel” right it probably isn’t. More importantly, if a potential date does not check out or sounds “weird” on the phone, why even think about seeing him. The minor regret about passing up your fee is balanced against the relief knowing that you are not going outside your own comfort zone. The money is replaceable, your safety and sense of safety are not.

Assuming that your potential client checks out calling back and setting up a rendezvous should be a relaxed, no hassle, experience.  But remember, while you have screened the client you don’t “know” the client. No regrets means being wary. At this point the client is going to find out where your in call is or will set up an outcall. In either case it may be a good idea to do a final bit of screening.

If you are going into an outcall situation, checking out the location by phone is a good idea. If the out call is to a hotel, you simply call the front desk and ask to speak to “Mr. Smith”. Don’t give the front desk the room number unless asked. If you are connected you have confirmation that your client is registered. If the outcall is to a private residence, it is vital that you match the name of your client to that address. An old fashioned telephone book can help. Or you can go online. Either way, you want to know your client is attached to that address.

Many escorts have drivers who provide backup in out call situations. If you do make sure you have an established routine of a call after a set number of minutes. If you don’t have a driver you may want to arrange for a friend to call. And in both cases it is wise to have left the address you are going to with a trusted friend who you will call at a set time to confirm all went well.

Having a prescheduled call from your incall is also a good no regrets strategy. A gentleman caller hearing you say, “No problem I will call you in an hour and you can come over.”, will be on notice that you are expecting company and that they are aware of his visit.

No Regrets Encounters

While it is safety first and foremost, no regrets means understanding that you are in the service business. The service business is all about details. Get the details right and your business will be lucrative and often fun.

Whether in call or out, how you present yourself to a new or a regular client makes a huge difference. A client paying good money for time with an escort is indulging himself. He is paying for the fantasy that an attractive woman wants to spend time with him, possibly engage in consenting adult activities, and make him feel wonderful. How she accomplishes this is up to her but a few “no regret” concepts can really help.

No matter where your encounter occurs make sure you are wonderfully clean. It seems obvious but simply making sure you are showered, your hair is washed and your teeth are sparkling ensures that your encounter is off to a good start. And it is never a bad thing to take a little time to make sure your date is freshly showered. You would be surprised at how sensual many men find “being sent to the shower” before any consenting adult activities take place.

Note the word “sent”. No regrets escorting is all about being in charge. Right from the confirming phone call you need to be in control of your date. You set the rules and the pacing. Especially in a first encounter. Now you don’t have to be Ms. Domina, Kitten With a Whip; rather you are the professional in the encounter and that needs to be very clear from the outset. Simply telling your client what to do, where to sit, can establish a rhythm which will make sure he has a wonderful time and you remain inside your escorting comfort zone.

No regrets escorting always involves making sure you are paid promptly and in full. Different escorts have different ways of ensuring this is accomplished but the key piece is always that the money is exchanged before any hint of consenting activity occurs. While your screening process may seem flawless, there is always the chance you are dealing with law enforcement. Creating a situation in which money is not seen to be exchanged – for example the money left beside the sink in the bathroom in a hotel scenario, or on a hall table out of line of sight in your in call – may give you a bit of legal protection. As well, you want to be able to count and conceal your money. A bit of privacy is necessary for both.

Limits are always part of a no regret strategy. Most girls have hard limits on what they will do and many girls have soft limits on what they are comfortable with in a first encounter. The limits themselves are a matter of a girl’s own preferences; but the fact there are limits needs to be made very clear as early as possible. No regrets dates are all about communication. You do not want your client to be guessing when it comes to the point.

One important limit in this age of the smart phone is video and photography. You may have a hard limit which says leave your phone off; or you may be delighted to share your efforts with your client. But “no regrets” means recognizing that your efforts may end up all over the internet. What has been recorded can’t be unrecorded.

Afterwards

If all has gone well a “no regrets girl” still has some choices to make. The most basic of which is whether she wants to encourage her client to see her again. The no regrets default is that seeing someone a second time, and many times after that, is almost always a good thing simply because a lot of the screening, first time jitters, shyness and mixed expectations will no longer be a factor.

Men, being the funny creatures they are, often are eager to just get going after their encounter. Which needs to be taken into account. At the same time, if you enjoyed your client there is no reason not to give him a (discreet) business card. While the card may read “C. Murphy, Executive Placement” he’ll know what it really means. If you have a website make sure you have a members’ only section and give him a password. No regrets at the early stages of a regular arrangement means that the communications need to be initiated by the client; but later sexy texts or even calls may have him coming back for more.

If you are a girl who is “reviewed” and you’ve had a great encounter, you’ll regret not asking for a review. If you don’t ask the answer is always “no”. On the other hand, if you don’t like the reviewing world, while you can’t stop your client from writing a review, you can certainly ask him not to.

Relax and Grow your Business

With a no regrets routine in place an escort is automatically de-risking her encounters. She knows her privacy is protected, her clients screened, her limits set. She can take the time to prepare for her dates and ensure that she’s in charge throughout her encounters.

Which means the no regrets escort can relax and pay attention to the things which will make her business thrive. She can improve her advertising, think of value added dates, cultivate a regular clientele and pay attention to the little things which will keep her clients coming back. Most of all, a no regrets girl can enjoy the money and freedom her escorting business can provide.

DATES

Any girl who thinks about it for five minutes can figure out what a “service provider” date looks like.

If you have bought this book you want a much more interesting, more creative and more lucrative escorting life. There is, after all, something more than a little soul destroying about providing “services” to a never ending stream of random men. You don’t need a book to tell you how to do that.

Instead, this section of Avails is all about the elegant variations possible in an escort’s world. Bringing intelligence, style, enthusiasm and the sense of grace and elegance to every encounter will ensure that your clients are delighted. Better still, it will make them want to visit again, lavish you with gifts and leave generous tips.

It is all about creating and managing expectations…so let’s get to it.

14 | RETRO GLAMOUR FOR THE MODERN ESCORT

Ah, the days of dresses and corsets, garters and stockings.

Some delightful escorts are dressing like those days have never faded. To, I might add, the utter enchantment of her clients who thank their lucky stars that they have found this gem in a world of lackluster. By evocation, the escort adds some seduction and some elegance and thereby takes her business to another level. She imagines/re-imagines each escort encounter and completely redefines the client’s expectations.

While there are some girls who are very, very beautiful and trail a rose-coloured, super-model aura in their midst, most escorts cannot offer experiences off the cover of Vogue magazine.

What they can do, and do very advantageously, is play a role. And in the case of retro glamour, a role which takes its cues from another era, another age, and creates an experience which will transport the client into a completely different world. Yes, the destination is the same; but the route and the itinerary are very different. The glamour date, the retro encounter, creates the opportunity to actually bring her client a glimpse of the noir world of the 1940’s and 1950’s; in costume, in ambience, and in attitude - when men were gentlemen, and women were ladies. It will be a wonderful excursion for the client, and empowering for the escort.

Setting the Scene

Dita von Teese has created an entire celebrity career as a burlesque queen, lingerie model, and retro fantasy by playing up certain troupes: mid-century women had hour-glass figures, fitted clothes, structured lingerie, make-up never without black eyeliner, powder, and brick red lipstick, and slid their silk-stockinged legs in sky-high heels. If you look to Dita as your model, you will be well versed in your retro escorting role.

Reaching back to the mid-century is about more than just the firm girdles and flared skirts of the Mr. Dior’s New Look or the curvy women of Mad Men; it is about a certain attitude. Mid-century women valued their femininity and their sexuality. Marriage was the female goal, and those women who were free with their sexual favours were shunned by the “nice ladies”. Which created a ready market for what were referred to as call girls as upper end escorts were then called. Then, as now, many girls were happy to escort, but in those days, they were very discreet about it.

The mid-century call girl world operated within the confines of the sexual morality in which it was embedded. And this is important because it defined the nature of a mid-century call girl’s dates and can inform the structure of today’s 21st century escort’s service. In the 1940’s and 1950’s, good girls expected to be wined, dined, and generally adored, and even then, they would draw a line long short of casual, much less, intimate behavior, without a ring on their left hand. The mid-century call girl, on the other hand, was paid to allow matters to become more intense. However she still expected to have a real date.

Mid-century girls didn’t play hard to get, they were hard to get. Which meant that call-girls were able to charge a premium for the simplest things which relieved unbearable urges.

In the modern world of hook-ups, quick if expensive divorce, easy birth control, and casual dating, the ambitious escort has to offer something more than just lots of activity between consenting adults. To command premium prices, the modern escort needs to see herself as providing a service which goes well beyond “consenting” when the time is right. The retro hook is brilliant in so many ways. Ironically, men are willing to pay for the rare woman who is less modern, not more. Having it all, and having it easy, isn’t really what men want at all.

Doing Retro Right

A modern escort offering a glamorous retro date beings with the advertising. The content of the ad will come later, the style is where the potential client will get his first hint that this will not be like a typical escort encounter.

Forget everything you know about escort advertising. No abbreviations, your breast size is between you and your corsetiere, no XXX and not a word that can be read as anything other than an invitation to spend some time in your company. Again, it is the art of elegance, refinement, and subtlety that you are striving to surround yourself with. Bringing back what is all but lost today, makes an impression. Indeed, the stark contrast with the raunchy, body-for-hire nature of most escort ads makes yours seem positively like a breath of fresh air.

In this self-created retro world, the escort is inviting a potential clientele to…? Well, that is an interesting question. Give her a call? Take her on a date? Since you are the authoress of your story, it is entirely up to you. In fact, your ad is where you begin to tell the tale. A great photo of a 50’s bad girl might be just the place to start. Or maybe you are more the good girl who might be convinced to be at least a tiny bit bad. Your choice. Not every escort needs to have the same itinerary. You might offer a different sort of encounter that is more like a no-strings-attached date, rather than the typical quick romp in the sheets and on your way sort of session. There are many men who would love a pretty girl on their arm for an evening on the town. Drinks, Dinner, Dancing… and back to my place for a nightcap. Watch some old movies and you’ll soon get into the swing of things. Be a woman who owns gorgeous evening gowns; and isn’t afraid to use them.

You’ve caught everyone’s attention with your black and white retro photograph, then get them to read with an enticing description: Pinup/glamour girl/vamp with fabulous legs and deep blue eyes likes to slip into a cocktail dress and let you show her the town.

You don’t need much more than this. Most of the potential clients will have no idea what the heck you are taking about, but the few who do, are going to be very, very interested. You have created a niche. A space in which you stand-out, and rule.

Snaps

Many escort ads allow for pictures. In general, those escort photos, even the high end ones, are heavy on thong covered butts and size-too-small bras. Virtually all of the escort pictures are in colour.

Glamourous girls know that less information leaves more to the imagination. A haunting black and white picture of a 40’s film star with real studio lighting highlighting her etched cheekbones is more about what is not revealed than what is. The fabulous Betty Paige was usually wearing more clothes in her pinup shots than girls wear to the beach.

Going the retro ad route means an escort can’t rely on images of film stars forever. She will need studio shots with a photographer who can actually shoot black and white. There is more to it than just turning off the colour. Lighting is critical. Look at Model Mayhem for photographers in your area. Many will be happy to shoot an interesting sequence at a reduced rate.

A great photographer is only one part of the equation; the other is what is in front of the camera. Nailing the retro fashion and beauty look is critical. The success of shows such as Mad Men means that the look is now well-known and copied. “I want to do a Mad Men shoot” will also tell the hair and makeup person all they need to know.

Aim for one great head shot, a shot in a pretty dress, and another shot in gorgeous lingerie with, of course, stockings. Styled as differently from the standard escort photograph as possible. By all means be a bit revealing, but remember that 40’s and 50’s women, even call-girls, had a certain modesty. You should too.

Putting the “Call” into “Call Girl”

If your advertising and photographs are working, it should elicit calls or emails from potential clients. On the one hand, normal escort rules about careful screening apply; but there is an additional layer of screening for a “retro date”; the client has to “get it”.

Try to speak carefully and correctly when you take your call. Ideally, unlike many escort calls, you should be somewhat formal. It may seem outdated but the whole objective of the retro date is to take your client back to a world in which a younger woman, on first meeting an older or more powerful man, would naturally be politely deferential. So, brush up on your good manners and practice them. You might even be a bit coy. Although the escort formula of “you are paying for my time” also applies here, you needn’t be blatant about it. As with any escort booking, be very clear about pricing and how you expect the money to be paid.

The Retro Date

Since the retro escort date is essentially a self-creation, it can also easily be tailored to suit the client playing along. Typically, the retro escort experience is about spending actual time with your date. Sure, eventually you are going to go back to your place for a nightcap, or his, but part of the fun is the chase. Regular clients may want to take you places like restaurants or parties. Others may require that the retro date occurs discretely behind closed doors. You can do that, too. Light some candles, put on your peignoir, and let the evening commence.

Figuring out what the gentleman is after takes a bit of time and intuitiveness, but a few questions can help define his expectations. You might begin with this one: What is it about a retro escort that you find so appealing? His answer will naturally lead to the next question and so on until you have a clear idea of his vision of the ideal encounter.

In the retro escort’s bag of tricks, is the option of inviting him to meet for a drink. If he is willing, have a couple of places in mind. Try to pick a classic sort of a bar. High-end hotels often have a wonderfully glamorous ambience just perfect for a Bogart and Bacall kind of meeting. (Note: you don’t see the people on Mad Men going for coffee. There just wasn’t the coffee culture in North America yet. And your polished attire is just going to attract too much attention in Starbucks amidst the Lululemon, anyway.)

The retro escort may be wise to invest in this pre-date meeting of an hour or so of her unpaid time as a routine part of her screening process. This is particularly important if the client is coming to your home, or if you just sense that something is just not quite right during the initial call. In a public place, you have the ability to walk away with good grace if you decide to forgo this particular encounter for whatever the reason.

Dressing

This is a retro date in a modern world and, as an escort, it is likely that later in the evening, your gentleman caller will be seeing your lingerie. Your lingerie should be a pretty and extensive collection.

The secret to the hourglass figure is nothing more complicated than firm foundations. Not for nothing did the ladies of the 50’s say, My girdle is killing me. In fact, for a three-hour date, a girdle will not kill you. It will compress your waist and tummy, make your bottom more sleek and, critically, hold up your fine stockings. Look at vintage clothing stores or thrifts. Online, you can get a great girdle for about $50. Two things an escort should know about the foundations of yesteryear – make sure you buy an open bottom girdle and look for girdles which zip up the side. [As a side note: girdles look best on girls who “need” them least. Stay trim.)

If you don’t want the full-girdle effect, a garter belt will keep your stockings in place and be elegant as well. Men in general, and particularly men over 50, love the look of a garter belt and stockings and even on non-retro dates, escorts are well advised to make both part of their standard wear.

A matched bra and panty set is essential to every escort’s attire. For the full 1950’s look, consider a vintage bullet-bra. Alternatively, invest in a well-made, well- fitted, push-up bra. No escort, under any professional circumstances, should ever wear a molded cup bra. They are modern monstrosities and are deeply unflattering. As to colour, black is always right – except under whites and light colours. Look for soft, dove grey or champagne. White is always attractive and classic.

Don’t underestimate the practicality and erotic power of a lacy slip between ones foundations and dress. On the retro date, a nightcap served by a mildly naughty girl in a black bra and slip with a pair of sheer stockings and black high heels will stir the fire.

Most retro encounters will occur in the evening and this gives you a fabulous set of wardrobe options – everything from a little black dress (LBD), to a full-skirted evening gown, to tailored le smoking separates. Cocktails, dinner, something a bit in between…you always look smashing, darling!

Finding vintage fashion in the internet age is a snap. While you are waiting for your escort phone to ring, take a browse at e-bay or etsy. Or you can spend a little time going to thrift stores and vintage shops.

The Main Event

A wonderful difference between a retro date and a standard escort date is that it is part of the escort’s role to play “hard to get”. While it is assumed that there will be on later in the evening, the retro escort plays the ingénue on the arm of a man of the world.

A bit of acting is a pre-requisite for any escort and retro dating is no different. Begin with your style and manners – be formal, ladylike. Expect the door to be held and the chair to be placed. Obviously, as an escort, you’ll be warming up as the evening progresses; but at the outset let your client make the moves.

1950’s gals were fabulous flirts and big teases. Yes, asking him about his day, his work, what he loves to do, are all great conversational gambits. But also remember that you are a thoroughly modern escort, so lean in to ask, in a whisper, if he enjoys oral attentions.

The key here is to, as the mid-century call-girls would, pay attention to the outward appearance of a date. The difference being that both you - as an escort - and your companion – the client - will know exactly where the date is going. The pleasure is in the journey between the first sip of the martini and the pleasures of your bed.

15 | FUN DATES FOR A CHANGE OF PACE

Escorting is like being in the entertainment business. But in this case, you are the script writer, director, producer, costume/hair and make-up department, and leading lady all rolled into one. It’s a lot of roles to juggle, and a lot to orchestrate, but if you get good at it, you can have a lot more fun as an escort and make a lot more revenue. Although the ending of the escort scene tends to be predictable, how you design and run your show is in your imaginative hands. Getting inventive, scripting your routine to make it delightfully out of the ordinary, can get you great dates, good money, and, of course, encores.

Marketing experts talk about experience differentiation. Basic concept: a Ford Focus and a brand new Mercedes will both get you to the corner store – similar products, but they are sold as entirely different experiences.  And with very different price points. Enhancing the sort of experience you are promising is a way to move up into the luxury market and make your business successful.

Experience includes the whole package – everything from how you dress, where you work from, how long the date, is and what’s offered. But experience is more than that.

When a potential client is looking through the ads, he is engaged in a bit of fun and fantasy thinking about the sort of girl and the sort of encounter he wants. A standard ad with a shopping list of descriptives: eye and hair color; breast size; hourly rate; a few telling abbreviations (GFE, PSE, DATY and so on) plus a photograph, is not much to go on. This type of advertising is not very effective because it puts you in direct competition with every girl on the board. It’s an entry point, but for a gentlemen looking for a change of pace, something a bit different, the ads are something of a wasteland.

Great experiences begin with suggestion: writing an ad that stands out from the others starts with that process. Which means offering something that goes well beyond the typical. Here are a few ideas:

1. Headline: Guys & Dolls

You’re the guy, I’m the doll. We meet for drinks then I’ll show you a bit of my turf. Loosen your tie and let me entertain you.

You know the story and so does he. Westside Story that is. Or pick whatever story suits you. In any case, this is an ad, and a date, aimed squarely at the smart guy who can read between the lines, likes a challenge, and a certain edginess in his life. It’s not just about the sex, it is about a high-value experience. Booking these sorts of dates through online advertising services which reach out nation/world-wide can put longer and lucrative dates on your calendar. And, because it is more than just quicky services, you can set a base price at $350 or $400 without clients blinking an eye.

2. Headline:  Retro date

Femme fatale looking to entertain a gentleman in true Mad Man style. Think cocktails, heels, anything goes. Spend some time with a girl no better than she needs to be.

Here, the copy harks back to the 50’s where a lady dressed well, and wouldn’t think of undressing for just anyone. Take a trip to the thrift/vintage store or take your shopping to eBay to acquire the retro look to bring out your inner Betty Page.

3. Headline: I’m In Charge

Hard day at the office, long road trip? Put yourself in the hands of a strong, strict, confident woman who knows just what a man needs.

This is a suggestive and only a bit subtle. While there are plenty of men who like to think they are “running things” on a date, even with an escort; there are also lots of men who like to be told what to do. Now, this is not the full on BDSM - whips and chains and dudgeons world - rather it is a woman taking charge.

A riding crop is optional. In fact, on a date like this, you’re doing pretty much what you would do on a regular date, but you are leading by telling him what to do and are being in control. For instance, have him stand in front of you with his hands behind his back while you stroke him. Or send him to a corner while you undress.

4. Headline: Private Paradise

Your own tranquil utopia – your hand-maiden awaits to sooth the stress of your day. Take an hour to be pampered for your pleasure.

All you need is a bathtub, a few candles, a thick terrycloth robe for him, a sheer kimono or robe for yourself, and some soft, moody music. Go easy on the scented soaps, but men love a bubble bath.

5. Headline: Little Black Dress

A poised, beautiful woman on your arm lets you travel in style. And knowing every day will have a perfect ending, makes every journey all the more delightful.

Here, you are moving way up the escort scale as a travel companion. Your rates reflect the time commitment of this all-expenses paid excursion, a good haircut, nicely done nails and a pretty, demure, little black cocktail dress are all you need. Targeted at the high-powered businessman, this is the sort of date which could get you a ride in the yacht or the private plane. Any way you go; you’re travelling in style. Look like you belong in first class, or just stepped out of a posh country club.

So there are five variants: with a little thought you can easily come up with more. The critical thing about offering a premium experience is that you need to be comfortable with whichever persona you take on. No point in being “in charge” if your natural disposition is to do what you are told.

A picture really is worth a thousand words. Invest in professional photography. It is worth it because you will make your money back far quicker than if you take a cheesy selfie in your bathroom. (See the Chapter on Photo Tips)

You don’t need to stick to one theme either; have a repertoire. See which themes attract the most traffic. You’ll be able to monitor the effectiveness of your overall advertising campaign if you include in your ad, Ask for (name of the date). That way, when a gentleman calls, and asks sassily if you are the femme fatale, you’ll know just what he’s looking for.

There is no question that these types of dates take more effort and a bit of investment as well. However, for the men who are into retro lingerie or a bit of light domination (without calling it that), finding an intelligent, fun, and classy provider who caters to their needs is a huge plus. They’ll pay top dollar and, in many cases, they’ll want to return to go a little deeper.

Of course, just because you are experimenting with themed experience dates doesn’t mean you take down your regular ads. Bread and butter always sells. The objective with fantasy dates is to expand your business and attract clients who would not usually respond to regular escort advertising.

You want potential clients to know you are out of the ordinary, nay extraordinary!  The Mercedes not the Ford.

16 | THE SUBTLE ART OF UNDRESSING

Getting undressed, oddly enough, begins with dressing.

If you would like to enchant your client, titillate him, tease him then practical, conventional day-to-day underwear will never do. In fact, it is better to wear nothing at all than some rag bag Fruit of the Loom granny panties and a shapeless over-washed bra. Our grandmothers had the right idea: layers and lace.

But even before thinking about those layers and lace, consider what your end state is going to be: do you want to be naked? or would you prefer to leave a little more to the imagination? A pretty slip or a lacy chemise gives him just a glimpse. If you have a perfect body, (well, lucky you!) nude may be an option but, even the most perfect body looks a little lovelier, and ever more mysterious with a bit of exquisite lingerie as an adornment .

In fact, undressing is a sensual art. The difference between a professional and an amateur is that a professional sells an amazing experience, while amateurs are simply a no frills service provider. I am going to assume you’d like to be the very best you can be. Check.

The great courtesans, the high end mistresses, the elite escorts all know one thing: men thrive on mystery. It is mystery which keeps them coming back and keeps them tipping and wanting more of your time.

With that in mind, learning to undress as artfully as one dresses, it to convey as message. It is as much a ritual as it is a practical necessity. To undress is to unveil a wonderful mystery to the gaze of the viewer. Which means a girl can, and should, ensure that her client fully appreciates one of the great gifts he is paying for.

Before undressing, think about your environment. Will you be entertaining in your living room before leading him to your bed? Or will your entire date take place in a hotel room or bedroom? Your options for undressing are dictated by the layout of the room or rooms. So is the pace.

The Little Details:

1. A soji screen – just a simple Japanese black and white screen. It is translucent which means with a light behind your silhouette will be seen. Putting it in your living room gives you a place to take off at least your clothing. In your bedroom, if you put it at the foot of your bed, you can have your client slip between the sheets while you undress in privacy.

2. A door – Undressing behind a door is not as private or as titillating a undressing behind a back lite screen, but it will preserve the aura of mystery. In a hotel room, the bathroom door will do; in an apartment, the bedroom door will let you change in private.

3. Bed Curtains - If you don’t have a screen and have a studio apartment, an alternative is a ceiling hung, translucent curtain dividing your bed from the rest of the room. Install the curtain right, use real curtain tracks and have it a couple of feet away from your bed. It should be in two halves which can be drawn together or flung apart. Pick an attractive color white, very light pink, cream, or light grey will work with most decors. Check out your local Indian market for beautiful, filmy fabrics used in draped saris.

Light

Now that you have ensured your privacy, it’s time to think about lighting. Light sets the mood. It can also display your body and your lingerie to best advantage. What you are looking for is soft, indirect light. Avoid bright ceiling lights at all costs. Fluorescent should be relegated to a factory, not anywhere near you.

Attractive table lights and bedside lamps are lovely accents to any space. Girls look best with a little pink on their skin. So, step one, low wattage incandescent bulbs. Step two, pretty shades, white, beige, or with a slight pink undertone. Pinker and dimmer near your bed. If you can’t find a pink shade drape a pink scarf over a white one.

Candles are the ultimate mood enhancer. Lots of candles. And make a ritual out of lighting them when your client arrives. This will give him a little while to settle in and relax. Beeswax imparts the nicest glow and aroma in the room. Tea lights let you carry on with other things instead of minding them.

Clothes

A bit of planning can make sure that when it comes time to undress you can make every item count. In a sense, think the opposite of practical. You may spend your days in a sports bra and leggings with a t-shirt tossed on top but that is not what your client is paying to see.

Work from the outside in. What you wear will, of course, depend on the nature of the date. If you are going to meet your date for drinks or coffee or dinner you’ll want a pretty, appropriate, outfit.

A couple of basics: a below the knee pencil skirt in black or grey with a buttoned slit is brilliant. Do up all but one of the buttons and you can go to church, unbutton a bit and you are perfectly attired for a cocktail lounge or a dinner engagement. Over the course of the early evening another button or two may come undone. Stocking tops or a lacy slip may peek out now and again.

Second piece – a simple, well tailored white shirt. Again, the buttons are at your discretion. Two undone and you are of slightly conservative deportment, three and you’re in the naughty zone. One more after that or even a good lean forward and your pretty bra or cami will fill his vision.

These same pieces can be worn if you are visiting his hotel – just add a tailored jacket to add a business, polished look. And these ensembles can work well in your apartment as well.  (For what I hope are obvious reasons, unless your gentleman caller is a regular, a lady is never dishabille (clever French word for “nearly undressed”) when she greets a new client at the door.) For the ultimate in sexy ease, consider the wrap dress. Look for the Diane von Furstenberg label for the most flattering design around. And speaking of undressing, well, in this case, a simple unwrapping is all it takes. Tada.

Shoes present that dilemma between wearable and wonderful. While a nice kitten heel is walkable, the fact is gentlemen love the look of high heels. However, the higher the heel the more you are going to have to pay for a pair of shoes you can actually walk in. Five inches and above are really “once around the bed” type shoes. If a gentleman would like you to fulfill his heel fetish, let him invest in Jimmy Choos or Louboutins for you. It goes without saying that clear plastic platforms belong on the Gentleman’s Club stage, and are worn by a certain sort of girl. The sort you are not.

Depending on your height, a three and a half inch heel can do wonders for your legs and complete an elegant look for cocktails or dinner. The better brands are of butter soft leather styled so cleverly that are actually quite comfortable for walking (okay, we’re talking blocks, not miles).

Going up to four or five inch heels is for the brave and the balanced. Shoes this high look fantastic, but they are killers to walk in. And, unfortunately, unless you buy expensive brands, they can look tarty.  But exquisite sky-high heels teamed with silky sheer stockings make a devastating duo that have enchanted men for ages.

Next,lingerie For the modern escort, the range and availability of beautiful, sexy, wispy pieces of lingerie is extraordinary. But remember, you are undressing so many  layers and lace add to the event.

Long out of fashion, the full slip, ideally lace trimmed, is a closet essential. Ideally a slip will fall about three inches above the hem of your dress or skirt. It will have ribbon shoulder straps and should be well fitted to your torso and breasts. Shop vintage for slips – look for real silk or real satin. A nylon slip (which cost about $5.00 at thrift stores) will do in a pinch, but you’ll feel sexier and look much better in a little satin creation from the ‘40s or  ‘50s.  It is certainly worthwhile, if you are even a bit handy, to put a little tuck in the seam just below your bustline. The classic color is black, but white or ivory or cream can be gorgeous, too.

One great advantage of a slip is that you clothes will hang better, without clinging or creasing or bunching, or other awful “ing” things that seem inevitable with women’s garments. Secondly, wearing a slip is a halfway point between your clothes and your undies. Taking off your skirt and blouse only to reveal a sexy full slip is a terrific tease and will be a surprise to most men under sixty. On or off is up to you, however, removing a vintage silk slip before the possibility of staining only makes sense.

Under your slip are the essentials – bra, panties, garter belt and stockings. Yes, yes, I know, many young women have never worn garters, much less stockings, in their lives. So why should you bother? Remember that a professional escort is in the business of entrancing and delighting her clients. If you take a look at anything from porn sites to old men’s magazines, there is one constant - stockings.  (Pantyhose, dreadful, dreadful things that they are, are rarely in evidence. In fact, just use them to tie up your tomato plants and never buy them again. Ever.)

A good pair of stockings – black or nude or grey are the best colors – will be sheer and very thin. Yes, they will eventually run, but if you buy three or four pairs of the same sort and color you’ll be able to swap out the runned ones, keeping the one that is still fine. (You could always keep the runned ones beside your bed for a little bondage.)

Another sexy advantage of stockings and a garter belt is that, when worn correctly with the garter straps under your panties, they can stay on throughout the all manner of intimate escapades. Whatever you do, buy a good garter belt. Look for metal tabs and a fitted, three-hook belt. The frilly elastic garter belts are, at best, costume lingerie found at sex shops and will slide down at awkward moments.

Bra and panties often come in sets. Matched lingerie looks expensive and gorgeous. Buying – or better still, having bought for you – a good, lace bra in a shelf or demi-cup style is a treat every girl owes herself. (And you would be surprised how many men would be just delighted to take you lingerie shopping.) For interesting undressing, there is a lot to be said for front closure. It avoids awkward fumbling. And he can continue to gaze at your face, or other attributes. When choosing a bra, look for real cups and light padding if required. At all costs avoid the horrors of made in China molded cups which fit no known woman.

Panties should match the bra. If that isn’t possible, look for the same color and a similar style. While thongs will avoid VPL, the reality is that the additional coverage of a boy short or brief is really much more flattering.

Finally, pick colors which compliment your skin tone. Pale pinks, grays, black for drama, or simple white is versatile and pretty. Patterns are fine but avoid anything large, jarring. And do we really need to discuss why neon is a bad choice? Of course not.

Make sure you have a pretty robe handy for the end of the encounter. And, for extra extravagance, have a pretty pair of frou-frou bedroom mules strategically located on the floor beside the bed. Your robe should be figure hugging but not sheer. You want his imagination working overtime as he leaves.

The Reveal

Undressing . For some women it is a moment of shyness or dread. But as an escort, however you do it, you must orchestrate it with aplomb.

And here is where the beauty and salvation of lingerie comes into play. When you slip out of your clothes, you are not undressed, rather you are undressing. And down to your lingerie might be as undressed as you want to be.

You might simply adopt the ever so clever, and ever so sophisticated French attitude of the allure of mystery, of not-nakedness. A radical concept in a world of cam-girls and the like, but one that is less likely to become tiresome or boring. And as an escort, keeping something in reserve is a strategy that will keep your clients coming back to you. The mind has a way of remembering what the eye doesn’t see.

17 | ESCORTING IN A PORNIFIED WORLD

Jennifer Lawrence has had her nude photos taken from what looks like Apple Cloud storage. Other celebrities have had their naughty bits exposed on the internet. While the FBI is on the most recent case, the reality is, we are not shocked.

The advent of the internet has meant that nude photos, sex photos and grainy night vision sex tapes have been circulating for years. But compared to those, the sheer amount of video and still pornography available-- pretty much for free-- has altered how people, and especially men, look at sex.

For the escort this creates a host of problems and opportunities. If she puts naughty photos in her ads she needs to know that those pictures are almost certainly going to end up on Tumblr. A saucy video tape on her “members only” section of her escorting web site will find its way to XHamster before the pixels have had a chance to cool.

But it is not just the fact that an escort’s marketing may become something of an internet sensation, it is also the fact that the internet never forgets. Once a picture is out on the net, it is pretty much out there forever.

The other side of the net is that it has made any number of sexual practices and techniques which used to be fairly rare very much mainstream. The sexual acrobatics of the Reverse Cowgirl or Monkey “action” are largely the artifacts of the need of pornographers to capture all the activity. The so called “money shot” and “facials” are driven by the need of porn directors to insert a visible climax into their productions. Heterosexual anal sex was a fairly rare occurrence pre-Internet. It happened but it was deeply taboo; now it is just another variation. Strap-ons, watersports and the erotics of spanking were out of bounds for any but the most dedicated sexual adventurers. Now you can find endless, free websites specializing in these and many other recherché endeavors.

All of which puts an escort on the spot.

Reading a few of the review sites, you can’t help but notice that the hobbyists take it as a given that the girls they see will be open to all or some of the activities listed above and, looking at the escort ads, there are plenty of girls who are ticking all the boxes and, so long as a condom is used, seem perfectly willing to bring pornstar sex to the hotel rooms of the nation.

There is no question that there is money to be made offering the PSE – Porn Star Experience – and for some girls that money is better than they can make with more basic offerings. However, I am going to suggest that cutting right to the PSE chase may, in fact, be leaving money on the nightstand. A lot of money.

Some Do, Some Do Not

Ask yourself this question: which of these two women makes more money: Jennifer Lawrence or Tasha Reign? Taking nothing away from Miss Reign but I have to bet that Miss Lawrence earns orders of magnitude more money.

There are tons of reasons for this but a few will resonate when an escort is deciding what she is putting on the internet and what she is willing to do inspired by the internet.

First, the reason why there is such a hullabaloo about the nude picture hack of Miss Lawrence is that there were either very few or no nude pictures of her on the net. Miss Reign, as a porn actress is rather easier to find in the all together. Lawrence has played some very sexy roles and she told Conan O’Brian she certainly is no enemy to sex toys. But her persona is about much more than her physical assets or sexual appetites.

At various price points escorts are pretty much categorized: from service provider to courtesan, an escort puts herself into the world with a particular persona. At the bottom end of the market pink thong shots of an escort’s bottom and the promise of a PSE with extra helpings of A will attract a certain sort of client. Like Miss Reign, girls working this end of the market are pretty explicit about what they are selling.

At the top end of the market it is often difficult to tell if a girl is escorting or not. No thong shots, no acronyms, no explicit language or jolly chest and cup size brags. These girls are offering something much less basic, much more mysterious and making much more money.

Think for a moment of Miss Lawrence’s Oscar winning performance in American Hustle. Sexy? Absolutely. As she put it herself, "I wouldn't say that it's ever exciting to see yourself without a bra in a dress that's three sizes too small for you." It may not have been exciting for her but men in the audience were no doubt stirred by the glorious Lawrence bounce.

Part of the challenge posed by porn for escorts is that everything has become in-your-face explicit. So some girls are sure that to compete they need to hike their dress up to here and down to there right from the get go. For these escorts advertising serves the same function as the boxes porn videos used to come in. Show as much as possible, promise that anything goes, bring in the fans.

The downside of this approach for an escort is that by playing to the explicit porn-driven market she makes her dates all about sex. Leave aside the legal issues – and selling sex is illegal in almost every US jurisdiction – a girl who is selling sex is just selling sex. There is no value add, there is nothing to charge extra for, there is no market differentiation. Worse, if all an escort is selling is sex her competition is every other girl selling the same thing – which means there will always be a service provider willing to provide for less money.

Another Way – Jill’s Indecent Proposal

“I’ve been escorting for the last five years.” Jill told us, “I guess I was lucky because, originally, I had one of those ‘indecent proposals’ that you hear about but never think is real. But there I was in a nice hotel with an older man and a lot of money in my purse. I said to myself, ‘I could get used to this.’”

“I looked around for information and there is lots out there. I understood that escorting was all about safety and screening and advertising but it also seemed to be about showing pictures and offering services that I was not comfortable with at all. Can you be a prude and an escort? For me the answer has been yes!”

“Here’s the thing, talking to my clients I often ask about what they have enjoyed in our encounter. Two things come up all the time – I come across like a lady and I am eager in bed. While I discourage reviews, if someone was going to review my performance those two things really define me as an escort.”

Jill’s advertising is minimal and discreet. “All I ever put in is my name (not my real name, of course) and these words “Discreet Encounters for Gentlemen; at my Home, or to Finer Hotels” and my escort phone and email. That’s it. I will post a picture or two but they are sexy, not revealing. My ad absolutely stands out on the page. And it is a dog whistle for the older, better off, clientele I want to see.”

“When a potential client calls to book there are certain things which are absolute no go’s for me. Bad language is a huge issue. Just because I escort does not mean I expect to be treated as anything other than a lady. Men who want me to describe what will occur during our time together are either cops or pervs and are not, in any case, the sort of escort date I am looking for.”

“In that first call I make it clear that my encounters are expensive. The expense itself creates expectations in the right sort of client and keeps the wrong sort away.”

We asked Jill who the wrong sort of client was. “Obviously the cheapskates and the idiots who are comparison shopping for bare back blow jobs. I tell all of them to look for someone else. But it is not just money. In this business there are plenty of clients with money and a horrible attitude.”

We asked Jill if she thought that attitude came from Internet porn. “Maybe. Partly. Escorting gives you a window into the male mind which you don’t get just dating. Men are a lot more honest with an escort than they usually are with a regular date. What always strikes me is how limited and often ignorant many men are about bedroom basics. If they have seen something in a porn movie they will think that it is both possible and pleasurable to recreate it in real life.”

“What a lot of men don’t realize is that porn sex is sex arranged for the camera. Is it fun for the actors? Doesn’t matter, the video is being shot for the guy watching it at home. While the visual is a wonderful part of real life sex, giving my client a clear view is hardly the most important thing I am doing when I am offering him my oral attentions.”

“Most of my clients come back and I have a fair number of regulars. While I am every inch a lady in the living room, after adult activities, I always like to take a few minutes to talk about the experience. While I don’t like online reviews – they really are sordid – I love hearing my clients talk. For some of them, lying in bed with me, is the first time they have ever been encouraged to talk about sex with a woman. A lot of them are not very good about actually saying what they enjoyed and, even more difficult, what they were disappointed in.  But, with a good sense of humour, and my hand gently stroking them, they’ll often open up.”

“Biggest thing – enthusiasm. Actually wanting to have sex. I think this is where the escort experience differs so basically from what these men get, or don’t get, at home. Their wives are reluctant at best to even think about a blow job or a quicky, much less spending an hour seducing and making love to their husbands. And here is where there is an intersection between escorting and porn – porn stars and escorts, in their own ways, are selling the idea that sex is something they really, really want.”

“Sure, 90% of the time that is not quite true. It is a performance and some days, it is worthy of an Oscar. But for the escort client, one of the best parts about an escort date is the near certainty that he’ll be spending some consenting adult time with a girl who will be really eager to please and (sometimes) be pleased.”

“Which is the second thing I learned about the escorting business very early on. The sorts of clients you want are not all about what you can do for them, they want the illusion at least that they can do for you.”

“Men have a terrific ability to compartmentalize. They know that they are with an escort. They know they have paid me. They know that for me this is a business transaction. But somehow they are convinced that they have had a much better time with me if I have had or appear to have had an equally good time.”

“And yes, Meg Ryan is an inspiration to us all.”

“If you look at the really popular porn, no matter what is going on, the women always appear to be having the time of their life. Though I have to say the guys look as if they are concentrating really hard on a math problem. The porn business knows what its customers want and the porn movies give it to them good and hard. There are a few niche producers like Andrew Blake who make beautiful, sensual films with a lot of sex – but they are really rare in that world.”

“All that said, my objective as an escort is to ensure that my clients have a wonderful time during my encounters. There is no question that when it comes to those consenting adult activities I am a bit bolder than I might be if it wasn’t an escort encounter.”

We asked Jill how that translated in actual practice. “It’s actually funny – I can sum it up pretty easily, in real life I like to be made love to, in escorting, I take the lead. Right from that first booking phone call I am very much in charge. At the same time, it is pretty subtle. I bet this doesn’t really register with half my clients. But from the point they arrive through to chatting, hors d’oeuvres and a glass of wine, all the way to the bedroom where I tell them what to do and when to change what they are doing, I control the date. And the key thing is that I am very enthusiastic about all of it. Not in the “Oh, Baby, do me all night long” sense of that; instead what I try to convey is just how pleased I am to have a man to be with.”

“Most, if not all of my clients, at some point will tell me, “I’ve never been with a girl like you.” I suspect some of them are referring to other escorts, but I am pretty sure that most of them are talking about their encounters with women in general. And, of course, that is why so many of them return and so many become regulars. I offer an experience which, without a lot of sexual acrobatics or doubtful activity, is completely different.”

“Look, we do live in a pornified world. The girls on the red carpets are wearing things I can’t imagine wearing out the door. Girls are posting naked selfies to their boyfriends who are sharing them with all their friends. Nice married couples are making porn tapes for fun on the weekend and uploading them.”

“In my escorting, I want to be different, very different. I want to be the girl my clients have always dreamed of having, but have never found. I don’t have triple “D” breasts, thank Heavens, and I have strawberry blonde not platinum blonde hair. I don’t look like a porn star and I am delighted not to. So are my clients.”

“It is a truism that the most erogenous zone is between the ears. I have a successful, safe, escorting business because I offer something which very few girls ever think of: a genuinely erotic experience. A lot of my clients, especially my older clients, tell me that their previous escort encounters were unsatisfying because the girl, beautiful and athletic as she may have been, never really connected with them. She went through the motions.”

“The best part of playing a bit of the prude as an escort is that you leave all sorts of things out there as possibilities. Being able to say to a client when he is leaving, “I noticed that you are wonderful with your tongue, I hope we can take that a lot further when you are here next,” plants a wonderful question in his mind. For my sort of escort encounter, the anticipation is as erotic as the reality.”

“I do the same thing with my escorting regulars but here I try to give them something to achieve when next they visit. I won’t go into detail but suffice to say men are remarkably goal oriented. Give them a goal and they will spend the week between visits wondering how best they can achieve it.”

Ironically, Jill has turned the association of escorts with the sex-on-demand notion on its head, and in doing something so unexpected she has created the perfect antidote to a pornified culture. She has put back the mystery, the anticipation, the tease, that is truly sexy. No camera tricks necessary.

18 | DOMINANT DATES THE EASY WAY

The great world of domination and submission, BDSM, whips, chains and dungeons – looks, and is, complicated. Just putting together a dungeon costs thousands of dollars. With no certainty that you will attract enough paying customers to see a great return on your investment. Plus there are the leather outfits, thigh high boots, and all the other accoutrements of the domina. Great if that’s your passion, but what if it isn’t?

In every market, there are the hard core D&S aficionados who will pay serious money to have their particular fantasy fulfilled. But there are many more men whose submissive tendencies don’t run to being in suspension bondage in a frilly little girl’s dress. Or, to be more accurate, they may have that fantasy but they don’t want, or need, to act it out. Instead, what they are seeking is willing submission to a demanding woman.

The psychology of a client’s needs are not an escort’s business; her business is to meet those needs profitably. However, knowing a little about the dynamics of a dominant/submissive relationship gives a girl an advantage.

The Logic of Male Submission

In cartoon form, a lot of men, particularly alpha men are “on” all the time. At work they have to make decisions, argue cases, prescribe drugs, borrow and lend money. At home they have ambitious wives, high achieving (or not) kids, and constant pressure. Even a game of golf becomes a competition. All of their actions have consequences. There is no escape from the pressure and thus, the stress simply accumulates.

There is no obvious place in this unbalanced world for a man to simply relax. Going to see an escort, even for a quick encounter, is more than just relief of sexual tension. It is a brief respite from the stress and pressure of their everyday life. It is half an hour or an hour devoted to their own pleasure, their own needs. For many men that experience is rewarding enough that they will become a regular, or keep a mistress, or give themselves regular treats.

However, for a significant minority of men, even a great “girlfriend experience” does not take them far enough outside themselves. In a nutshell, they are still in control. They are still calling the shots. They think they are going to relax with a girl when, in fact, they are worried about their performance, whether she’s having a great time, if they are getting their money’s worth. Instead of a pleasing escape they find themselves loaded with more of their own expectations. (Not to mention all the standard worries men bring to their escort experience.)

So the essential dynamic at the root of the dominant/submissive, F/m experience is the removal of choice from the submissive male. At the most basic level the submissive client does what he is told.

Most experienced escorts know that the vast majority of their clients, in fact, “do what they are told” but the difference between the straight and the submissive client is that the sub gets extra excitement from the telling.

A dominant date begins with the ad. In another article I mentioned the “I’m In Charge” ad. Here it is again,

Headline: I’m In Charge

Sample Ad: Hard day at the office, long road trip? Put yourself in the hands of a strong, strict, confident woman who knows just what you need.

This is sending a none too subtle message that the client will be told what to do and how to do it. And this sort of ad may be all you need to begin building a clientele of submissive men.

However, you can kick it up a notch or two with a few trigger words:

Headline: Learn to Obey

Sample Ad: It’s time for you to do what you’re told. Put yourself in the hands of a strong, strict woman. I will take possession of you with style and elegance.

No more than that. The objective of the ad is to find men who are interested in submission but whose particular tastes are largely unformed.  It is a broad, deep market.

Tools of the Trade

Once part of your business becomes domination, you’ll never see a hardware store quite the same way. However, you are not in the dungeon business so you need to be able to achieve symbolic superiority with a very limited array of tools and toys. Here’s a bit of a shopping list:

1. Zip-ties – 12 inch, as wide as possible

2. Rattan canes – go to your local Chinatown or a garden center – rattan is best but bamboo will do. Cut to correct length for your carry tube. Wrap top five inches in black electrical tape, take two of differing thicknesses

3. Paddle – thrift stores have wonderful, oversized, salad tools in wood

4. Xxtra large slips/panties, camisoles – the thrift store is your friend

5. Rubber gloves/disposable gloves

6. Dildo/prostate massager – err on the small side

7. Riding crop – tack store or thrift

8. Leather carry tube – 36 inches – ideal for canes, crops, and the rest of the tools of the trade

9. 21 feet, 3/8 inch cotton (not nylon) rope in 3 foot pieces

10. A couple of pairs of old nylon stockings

11. Light nipple clamps

Those are the basics. The most expensive item on the list is the carry tube which Amazon sells for $28.50. (Amazon is a great place for all manner of out of the way items.) With a little imagination you can create a whole world of submission for your client simply by unzipping your carry case.

Dressing the Part

While the correct answer to the question, “What does a dominant woman wear?” is “Anything she wants to,” your submissive clients will tend to have visions of a black leather corset and the black high heels from Hell. While you might indulge their fantasies, the fact is leather corsets are expensive and uncomfortable. Worse, they imply you are undressed and that is something a submissive is rarely going to see.

Looks which can work well include a simple, below the knee skirt and a sheer blouse with a lacy white bra; the same skirt but with a fitted leather jacket and black lacy bra. School teacher skirt and little jacket – in a demure tweed. A pretty, above the knee LBD (little black dress) with appropriate stockings and heels. Stockings, not pantyhose. Stocking can be lacy stay-ups, or garters and all.

The overall look is feminine and a bit aloof. Glasses are always a good option. So is having your hair up. The naughty librarian look is well worth trying.

One key psychological element often at play is that your clients are reaching back into their early lives for a woman who represents authority. So dressing a few decades out of date can trigger just the right responses.

Leave the fake dominatrix outfits in the sex shop for the suburban bad girl wives to wear on “date night”. Same with things like cute little nurse’s uniforms. At the same time, if you can find a wonderful old, real, nurse’s outfit – ideally with the great old starched nurse’s cap – grab it and use it.

One element to keep in mind is that these sorts of dates are at least an hour long, so you want to be comfortable. Six inch heels are perfect for a quick turn around the bed, but are not so great for supervising your submissive charge.

Showtime

The domina date is more than a little different from a regular escort encounter. Off the top, there is no sex. Or at least none which involves you. Which raises the question: so what, exactly do you do??

For the moment let’s assume you are entertaining in your own space. Your gentleman arrives and, if you are wise, you have him place his tribute (domina word for gift) on your hall table. Business attended to, there are several ways for the date to go. The difficulty here is that you can’t really guess what will actually give him the release he is looking for.

Some girls in this situation opt for a full and frank conversation before entering into the “session”. Not at all a bad idea. Indeed some professional dominatrix’s have full on questionnaires for their clients to fill out online or prior to the session. However, there is a slightly better alternative.

It begins with your assumption of superiority. Your client is not there to be consulted, he is there to do what he is told. And that begins with being sent to take a shower. Obedient men, even if they just had a shower, will dutifully have another. Brats will put up a fuss: which is perfect because now they have to take a cold shower and you will tell them when they may come out. Tell them not to lock the door. As they are showering you have the opportunity to check your tribute and prepare for the next move.

Depending on your mood, you can leave them a short men’s robe or, for fun, a pretty ladies robe. In either case, remove all of their clothing and place it somewhere out of the way. When they emerge from their shower in their robe you should be seated in a chair with a clear space in front of it.

Have your client come before you on your chair and tell him to turn around and present his wrists. Using the zip ties fasten his wrists, loose tie on each wrist and then a tie between the wrists behind his back. The objective is to have him effectively helpless. Then you tell him to turn around.

Some girls like their subs to kneel at this stage, others like to keep them standing. The point is that they are now in your power. And, to make that point very clear, you can unbelt their robe to expose their often shower shrunk bits and pieces.

It is usually at this point that you give him the name he is to call you. My own preferences are “Miss” or “Ma’am”, “Mistress” can work but I think it sounds a bit arch as does Mi’Lady or Princess. However, harkening back to school days with a name like “Miss Pierce” will sometimes put your client into the right mood. Make it clear that he is to use that form of address and no other or there will be consequences. He is also to speak only when spoken to or asked a direct question,

It is also a good idea to set a “safe word” at this point. Although your session is not at all likely to push any limits, knowing that saying “stove top” or “periwinkle” will call a timeout is a source of some security for your client and safety for you.

Now you can proceed. With a first time client, with your cane or crop in hand, possibly flicking said bits and pieces, you begin to question your client. A good deal of the questioning is designed to take him through what your normal first session contains.

This, in turn requires a bit of planning. In many ways, like a good book, a submissive’s time with you heads towards a climax which is the moment when he is least in control of his situation. It might be a through caning or something much lighter where he has to put on his slip and panties and do a bit of lingerie hand washing. It is never a bad idea to give him some corner time with his nose pressed against the panties he’ll be washing. Nor should light rope bondage be dismissed.

Setting him some tasks to perform and be evaluated on is useful. If he is to be whipped – and almost every client will need some level of corporal chastisement – it is worthwhile to have him recite his infractions and apologize for his sloppiness. Putting him in a nighty and tucking him into bed with his arms and legs bound will give him a sense of tranquility. And if you flip down the covers and pull up his nighty before he is paddled right there in bed he’ll be able to relish his powerlessness all the more.

Some men enjoy a good deal of humiliation both physical and verbal. The varieties of odd activities which submissive men enjoy is boundless. From serious cross dressing through to detailing your bathroom with an old toothbrush, each man will have his own peccadilloes.  And a clever domina will find all the things she needs done – house repairs, ironing, folding laundry – and men who will be delighted to do the work and pay her fees if they are allowed to complete the tasks in a good firm girdle and be properly punished for any mistakes.

By starting the session by outlining what’s in store for him, a client is able to signal where his preferences lie. And, of course, you can tell him he has to tell you the absolute truth or else.

Psychologically, a client is usually most satisfied when he sees a clear connection between his behaviour and his treatment. If you let your clients ejaculate at the end of a session, it should always be a reward for bearing their punishments well.

A domina always has a good deal held in reserve but visually available to her client. Having a crop, a cane and a paddle doesn’t mean you’ll be using all three in a session; but the client who is cropped will leave wondering what the unused paddle would be like. The same is true of anal toys: they are almost never used in a first session, instead they are an earned threat to keep your client returning.

For outcalls, the procedure is nearly identical with the exception of the fact that the domina may want to take control at an even earlier stage for her own safety.  A man with his wrists zip tied behind his back poses little threat as you are getting to know him. As well, the domina needs to be a bit more aware of the relative noise levels of a crop, cane and paddle. Paddles are loud.

There is no reason why an escort can’t build a significant business as a domina. But it is important to keep the two businesses distinct from the marketing and client contact perspective. Separate advertising, websites and phone numbers make that easy but a bit of work to set up.

The one thing about the domina business is that the clients, if you hit their sweet spots, are incredibly loyal. Repeat business is a given because there is always something new for the submissive to endure.

19 | FRILLS: FEMINIZATION FOR FUN AND PROFIT

Escorting is a competitive business with many escorts firmly ensconced in the “service provider” sector. Looking at the escort advertising sites you see hundreds of pretty girls working very hard to provide escort services to a pool of potential clients. Finding escort clients and holding the line on escort rates is challenging especially when more and more girls are coming into the market.

“Veronica” is a Women’s Studies graduate from a metropolitan suburb of middle sized American city.

“I’d always been intrigued with the idea of escorting and I went on my first dates when I was in college. I pretty much put an ad up for outcall services as a dare to myself. I’d been studying what progressives like to call “sex work” for my graduating thesis and I thought it would be more authentic if I at least tried escorting.”

“I have to say my first couple of escorting dates were really awkward. I was more worried I had been set up on a police sting or that the clients would be creeps than I was about actually doing the job. But it all got a lot easier when my third client took me out for dinner a couple of days after our first date and suggested that I might not be suited to the straight “service provider” role.”

Cross Dressing: Veronica’s Way

“That client, as it happened, was very interested in trying cross-dressing. I’d heard of cross-dressing, of course – you don’t do Women’s studies without hearing a lot about gender identity. But, honestly, I thought it was a sort of gay thing. Drag Queens and all that.”

“Was I ever wrong. It turns out that the vast majority of male cross dressers and wannabe cross dressers are straight and many of them are married. Their cross dressing is pretty much a kink like any other kink.”

Veronica’s third client suggested that they try a cross dressing date and that she spend a bit of time researching cross dressing and the market for escort services where the prime focus was cross dressing.

“I am a great researcher.” said Veronica. “I got on the web and I was just amazed. There is a whole world in cross dressing. Companies make oversized ladies shoes and breast forms and butt lifting girdles, all in sizes large enough to fit men. There are forums and websites and there are even cruises where cross dressing men and their wives socialize. And there are plenty of escorts who do cross dressing dates.”

“What was really interesting, and what looked like a great escorting opportunity, is that men who like to cross dress also like to have female supervision. Usually men start cross dressing on their own but, at some point, they want a girl to tell them what to do, what to wear, how to do their makeup.”

“And, yes, it is partially sexual. At least it is for some men who are aroused when they are en femme.” said Veronica laughing.

“Now, escorts make their fees by providing companionship and, from time to time, that companionship can lead to consenting adults doing what adults do. But one of the key services an escort provides is confidentiality, anonymity and discretion. An escort’s real gift, in many cases, is giving a client a safe space to engage with the side of his personality which, for whatever reason, he does not feel comfortable with sharing with the other people in his life.”

“My third client was married and, after three years of marriage, worked up the courage to tell his wife that he sometimes liked to wear panties or a bit of lipstick. It had nearly cost him his marriage. He told me that while she was the furthest thing from a prude, his confession hit a giant panic button. Her first reaction was, like mine, “You’re gay.” which he certainly wasn’t. Her second was to forgive him and explain that she just couldn’t have anything to do with this side of him because she didn’t know who he was. They’re still married by the way.”

“This reaction turns out to be pretty common amongst cross dressers’ wives and girlfriends. As my Women’s Studies profs liked to point out, we live in a gendered society and crossing gender lines, even superficially, makes many people very, very uncomfortable. And, of course, it is the reason why I’ve managed to build up a really thriving business as a cross dressing positive escort.”

First Cross Dressing Date

We asked about Veronica’s first cross dressing date. “Well, I had had the advantage of a long talk with my client – for which he paid me very generously. I think he was relieved just to be able to talk to someone who was open to his needs. He told me he liked the feel of satin and really enjoyed the look of lace. He was not terribly tall and in pretty good shape. I have to admit I could not quite see this successful business guy as a gal but I thought I’d give it a try.”

“We set the date for three days later and I thought it would be best if we met at my apartment. It was a pretty place in an older building in a good neighbourhood which had a rather nice separate entrance. In fact, the rent was one of the reasons I had decided to try escorting.”

“I took an afternoon off classes and hit the thrift stores. I wasn’t sure about sizes but my research told me how you could convert men’s shoe sizes to women’s and I had asked his. I had his waist measurement as well as his chest. I really did not know what I was looking for but he had given me $200 to buy “pretty things” and it is amazing how much lingerie, make-up, false eye lashes, shoes, skirts and blouses and even a really nice, real human hair wig you can buy if you go to a few thrifts. I even found some press on nails and a little bit of inexpensive costume jewelry. I’d cleaned up the apartment and had a little smoked salmon and some cheese ready.”

“The escort date itself was a bit odd for me and, my client assured me, Heaven for him. I made sure I was dressed in a very feminine way. Hose, heels and a floral dress I had worn to a friend’s wedding. I felt a bit of a gender traitor but, well, it’s business. He arrived right on time with flowers and a very nice bottle of champagne. We had a glass and then I told him he needed to have a bath before he tried on a few outfits. I had some scented bubble bath and a few candles lighted in my not particularly large wash room. I put out one of my nicest fluffy white towels. But the key thing was I had a pretty Turkish cotton robe on a hanger. I told him to enjoy his bath and looking over at the robe said, “And when you’re done there is your robe. And here are your panties.”

“Cross dressers I discovered have a range of desires.” explained Veronica, “Some just like the feel of female clothing, others like the implied humiliation of being “forced” to dress like a woman, still others want to see how close they can come to “passing” as a girl. My first cross dressing escort client confessed that he did feel a bit ashamed at wanting to wear women’s clothes but that he wanted to see what he might look like as a girl.”

“I didn’t have the money to buy proper breast forms.” said Veronica, “But a girl can improvise and two condoms filled with warm water seemed to be just the thing. My client had a forty inch chest and I decided a C cup would be ideal for a girl starting out. When he came out of the bathroom I told him to take his robe off and I put on his bra and then inserted the condoms. It was a full coverage bra and when he had put his robe back on the illusion of breast was surprisingly realistic. We sipped our champagne and then I took him over to my make-up table.”

“By this point I had pretty much put the fact he was an escort client out of my mind. Now I wanted to see how well I did making him look like a girl. He’d shaved very close and a little foundation and his skin was very smooth. Then I pressed on the long, red, nails. Eye shadow, a bit of mascara, a hint of contouring blush and lipstick and then he was ready for the wig I had bought. It was in a colour very close to his own hair colour and after a few slightly bungled attempts it looked great. I’ve learned that while many cross dressers want long curly hair, a bob or something shoulder length is best for a first cross dresser escort date.”

“Now we were ready to try on some outfits. I had a pair of fairly opaque tights – silly me, an escort should always use stockings – and I had him put those on, then a satin slip and then a fairly short black leather skirt and pretty, sheer blouse. Clip on earrings. And then a pair of moderately high heel pumps – I didn’t know it then but learning to walk in heels is one of the most enjoyable activities for a cross dresser on an escort date; but don’t expect it to be fun in six inch platforms.”

“I kept the lights low. When an escort is doing a date with a cross dresser she needs to do whatever she can to give him the best, most realistic, experience of being a girl she can. Keeping the lights low means that the cross dressing escort client doesn’t obsess over the details which are not quite right.”

“When he was dressed we went out to the living room and enjoyed the smoked salmon and cheese and champagne. I taught him how to sip champagne without getting his lipstick on the glass. I had him walk a little on his heels and I corrected his rather immodest sitting posture. But mainly we chatted about what was working and what wasn’t with his outfit and his make up.”

“I think it took me longer to adjust to seeing this quite pretty girl sitting across from me than it took him to adjust to having breasts larger than my own. But when I did it was a lovely escort date. Activities between consenting adults did, in fact, ensue but, of course, in character, so no actual sex was possible. He was, however, a good and happy girl.”

“Plus, he was a girl who left a large tip, money for more clothes and makeup and a different wig and said he wanted to do this escort date weekly.”

From Stylist to Domina

We asked Veronica if all of her escorting work was with cross dressers. “Most of it. I’ve branched out into domina work as well as it can be an extension of what some cross dressers want. I put an ad in the “Fetish” section and I’ve been very selective about my clients.”

“The good news about cross dressing clients is that for most of them, a new piece of lingerie, the constriction of a girdle or even a corset, a new wig are all the more reason to come back for more sessions.” Veronica explained, “In the five years I have been doing escort work with cross dressers about ninety percent of my clients have wanted more than one session and many of my clients have been seeing me for years. My first client is still with me.”

“Finding an escort they can trust, an escort who is set up to cater to their particular kink, is something cross dressers can search for all their lives. When they find the right escort they will stay with her.”

We asked Veronica how her business has changed. “Well, as soon as I could I got a much nicer apartment. Basically it is a loft which had been used as a photography studio. It has a full make-up set up and a dressing room. Every girl a star. It’s live/work space and I have my private space upstairs. The dressing room is stacked with pretty clothes, lingerie, shoes, scarves and jewelry.”

“For a lot of my cross dressing escort client’s sessions are about perfecting their feminine side: how to walk, sit, use make up, undress, fix their hair. It is very much the ultimate role play. My business has changed because I realize what I am really doing is giving my escort clients permission and direction. Mainly direction.”

“The domina side of the cross dressing client escorting business comes up when I have a client who is reluctant to accept his need to be feminized. A small minority of my clients come to me to be forced into women’s clothes. It is the only way they are really able to accept their secret desires.”

We also asked Veronica what she has learned as an escort specializing in cross dressing clients. “Well, not everyone, and no men, are Size 2. I come at this from a very feminist perspective and one of the most significant things I have learned is just how “constructed” gender identity really is. When you are trying to teach a six foot two, two hundred and fifty pound man to walk in heels with a feminine gait, it is pretty apparent how gender norms have evolved and how difficult it is to cross gender barriers.”

“I’ve also learned a lot about how men see women. As an escort I rarely see a cross dresser who wants “A” cup breasts and comfortable underwear. The sort of woman my cross dressing clients want to be is ultra-feminine, sort of a caricature of the idea of “female”. I actually make a point of, when I first meet a prospective cross dressing escort client, telling them that if they are looking for a degree of realism, a Jessica Rabbit body is not going to work.”

“At the same time, a lot of my escort clients accept that and are not at all interested in “realism”; they want cross dressing sessions where they luxuriate in curves and ringlets down to their padded butts. They know it isn’t realistic but they are buying my time as an escort to engage in their own fantasies. Which I think is fair enough.”

“But the one thing which I have really learned doing escort work with cross dressers is just how amazingly normal they almost always are. Husbands, fathers, Little League coaches: I can totally see why some rather wise wives treat the cross dressing thing as a harmless kink or even a hobby. By and large my cross dressing escort clients are nice guys and some of them are very pretty women indeed.”

“Plus, as a bonus, I’m the only woman in my year who has a job remotely connected to Women’s Studies.”

20 | FANTASY AND ROLE PLAY FOR ESCORTS

An escort is often asked to act out a particular fantasy or play a special role for her client. Sometimes the escort has to wear a costume or behave in a certain way. Being able to adapt to these special requests is a terrific skill for an escort to have and all it takes is a little imagination, a few props and an understanding of the male psyche.

Men, as every escort knows, are relatively simple creatures with certain fairly straightforward needs. Yes, men are sexually driven – escorts would not be in business if they weren’t – but they also need a sense of safety, nurture, transgression and freedom. Escorts make their money by providing men with space to interact with a woman in ways which they are unable to, or feel unable to, in “real life”.

Understanding this makes the entire fantasy and role playing end of the escorting business much easier to deal with.

The fantasy end of male desire usually casts the escort into a particular type which means something to her client. The simplest fantasies are things which would not be out of place on Halloween – the naughty school girl, the cheerleader, the policewoman, the French maid. For certain clients, each of these cartoons provides a chance to engage in a bit of harmless fun. Or, the fantasy might be quite involved with what amounts to a script.

Dressing Up – Carol’s Closet of Fun

“I actually used to use Halloween costumes.” said Carol, a twenty three year old escort from New England. “And when I go thrifting I am always on the look out for things like old nurses’ uniforms, Girl Guide outfits, real Cheerleaders’ uniforms. The Halloween costumes are usually very badly made. But the original uniforms and outfits are wonderful.

"I have my regular escort ads which I run every second week; but the other weeks I do fantasy ads.  I have a lot of fun with my fantasy ads.  I usually focus on one outfit - say a cheerleader. Meet me under the bleachers.  That sort of thing. I actually have a great set of Pom Poms... No, not those, real cheerleader Pom Poms. And if the client wants me to I'll do a cheer. It's all a lot of fun."

"The naughty school girl is fun of a different sort.  I can do the little plaid skirt and white blouse private school girl or just sweet seventeen. When you are doing a school girl fantasy as an escort sometimes just the outfit will be enough for you client. Other times he’ll want me to act the part a little more and be really shy about the whole consenting adults thing.”

We asked Carol if she thought there was anything wrong with her escort clients pretending she was a young girl. “Not at all. Just the opposite. It is way better for these guys to play with an escort than hit on actual school girls. I mean I am twenty one, just a few years older, but those years make a huge difference. When I was about fifteen I used to get hit on by guys in their fifties. It was gross and really uncomfortable. But when a client is paying me to be a naughty school girl we both know exactly what is happening.”

“I have one regular client who I think may actually have been a teacher. He actually assigns me homework, writing out very rude lines or composing a story about school girls together, and then he marks my homework while I stand in front of him. If it is not up to his demanding standards he gives me a spanking – not very hard fortunately – and then makes me stand in a corner with my little skirt up and panties down. Which is fine with me because he is very generous; but I wouldn’t want a real school girl having this happen to her.”

“Most of my clients want some version of a young girl which is great because I don’t look my age. Pig tails and a little pink lip gloss and I can be a pervy fantasy. As escorting dates go the “dress up” dates are easy and very lucrative. I charge extra for dressing up and, of course, after a client has had just what he has been looking for he usually gives me a great tip.”

“The other thing about dress up dates is that it often takes a client a long time to finally admit that he wants a particular fantasy. As an escort you fulfill the initial fantasy but, if that first date works, you can suggest a variation for a “next” date. Your client, having summoned the courage to ask for what he wants the first time, will be delighted and relieved to have a girl willing to cater to his fantasies. Which  means, bottom line, that most of my dress up escorting clients become regulars.”

“I have a very discreet card which says “Costumes” with my email and number. On the back I have my measurements, shoe size and so on. A lot of my dress up clients just love to buy me outfits. It gives them a little thrill to go into a thrift store or a vintage shop and buy a Girl Guide uniform. Pervy, sure…but harmless. And it expands my costume collection.”

“One other thing which I do, for a hefty fee of course, is I offer my clients their own private section of my website. I take a bunch of pictures of myself in and out of their favorite outfits. I encourage them to email me special requests. And, recently, I figured out how I can do live video. My teacher client loves this because I do my “homework” is this very cute, semi-see through, cotton nightie and he can watch me.” said Carol.

Dressing up dates may involve an element of role playing but some escorts take role playing to the next level where they assume a character and stay in character throughout the escort date.

The Governess – Donna, a Serious Domina

Donna is in her thirties and works as fetish escort in a large American city. She also has international clients.

“When I first started escorting I was drawn to what you might call “dress up” dates. Lots of fun and very easy. But, gradually, I found that a lot of my clients were looking for more.” she said in a Skype interview.

“I worked in a professional dungeon for a year and discovered that I was a natural switch and that I got very bored very quickly in the traditional dominatrix role. “Yes Mistress, No Mistress.” gets old fast. So I started looking around for a niche which combined an element of domination with a character who could help differentiate me in the fetish market. And, I must admit, I wanted a character where I didn’t have to spend an hour putting on a black leather corset and extreme make-up. The Governess was born.”

“My whole role is to be in charge. Where an escort traditionally tries to pleasure her clients, I make my clients humble themselves to me. At the same time, instead of conducting my business in a dark fake dungeon with whips and chains and assorted bondage furniture, I have a lovely loft overlooking the river. Mainly white, very high ceilings and great windows.”

“I advertise very discreetly. Most of my ads are only one or two lines: sometimes they are just a word, “Governess”. The men who want my services know what that implies and I don’t want any clients who require an explanation.”

“Escorting always has an element of role playing. After all, those girls are not seeing their clients because they are possessed by desire; but the clients who use escorts seem to believe that they are the one man on earth who actually isn’t business but rather lust. My clients are under no such misapprehension.”

“One thing I learned working at the dungeon was that more than half the clients for a domina escort are really there for the play acting. The silliest toy in the world is the suede flogger. I have seen fly swatters with more ommmph. But that is what the majority of the dungeon’s clients wanted. They wanted to be helpless but safe, flogged but with no marks.”

“However, for a small minority, this sort of play acting was exactly the opposite of what they were actually looking for. To find a women who was very strict and very real was worth a great deal to them.”

“Taking on the role of the Governess is not at all like a standard escorting situation. First off, there is absolutely no sex. Second, the encounters tend to be quite lengthy. Two hours minimum but, realistically, four hours works better.” explained Donna.

“I have a website but it is mainly a private site which you have to have a login to access. You get the login by getting in touch with me and sending $100.00. Just enough to discourage triflers.”

“Once you are logged in you are required to fill out an application. Real name, real address, references. And then you also are required to complete a questionnaire about your preferences. It is quite a long questionnaire and several of my clients have told me that there are items listed they have never heard of.”

“Once I have checked references and read the questionnaire I make a decision as to whether I am willing to take on a particular client. I have a flat fee for the initial session. It is actually quite reasonable and many of my clients are surprised that such an exclusive service is not more expensive.”

We asked Donna why she did not charge more. “Unlike a lot of escorts, I have far more clients who want to see me than I want to see. My second and subsequent encounters cost twice as much as the introductory session and many of my clients tip very generously. My view is that the Governess is not an escort service for everyone but that for the clients who understand what I offer it is an indispensable part of their lives. I can and do charge more for my international clients but I prefer to keep my rates at a level essentially comparable to those of a good corporate lawyer. $750 an hour or $2500 for the typical four hour session is more than enough. I book a maximum of six sessions a week so you can imagine I do quite well.”

We asked Donna what she actually did in her role as the Governess. “When a client comes to my space I greet him in character. Preliminaries are dealt with. An envelope on the hall table and then he is sent to the shower. This gives me time to count. You learn some things as a vanilla escort.”

“I am not going to go into detail but I can tell you that virtually every session begins with my client immobilized in a stress position in a very small, dark, sound proof, closet I had custom built in my loft. It sets the tone.”

“I have a couple of pretty basic outfits I wear in session: either a very fitted pencil skirt and high heels and a white cotton blouse or black jodhpurs, riding boots and a white silk blouse. My hair is pulled back. I wear a bit of red lipstick which matches my nail polish. I never take my clothes off so it doesn’t matter what I have on underneath.”

“The Governess is strict. She is demanding. She has many punishments and few rewards. It is almost the precise opposite of the typical escort date and it is also much more intense than a typical S/M dungeon encounter.”

“In a sense,” said Donna, “I could wear anything and actually do anything because this is not a dress up date, this is the real thing. My role is to train the men who see me to do exactly what they are told when they are told to do it. And to do that I punish far more often than I reward.”

“We suggested that this really sounded like a dominatrix escort date. “You asked about the difference between a dress up date and a role play. Most dominatrixes are just dressing up. Which is what their escort clients want them to do. Those clients are there for the illusion of powerlessness. A good domina can create that illusion but that is all it is.”

“What I offer, to a very select clientele, is the reality. That is the Governess’s role.” said Donna, “Let me give you an illustration. At the dungeon, at the end of the session, I almost always stepped back into real life with the client and we’d have, perhaps a cup of tea and review what went on. It was part of the service. It put some distance between the experience in the room and normalcy. We actually called it decompression.”

“When a client is finished his session in my loft I have a room where I have his clothes. It’s pitch black. I put him in that room and close the door. Then I lock that door and turn on the lights. He leaves. It is very real and he is usually very relieved and grateful. The way the room is set up it exits into a corridor which he did not come in through. It is quite disorienting.”

So, in the escorting world there is room for the dress up date and for the complete immersion experience. No doubt there are escorts and dominas who do a little of one and a bit of the other.

What a clever escort recognizes is that dressing up is simply an embellishment of the essential escort experience. Whether she is a cheerleader or a naughty school girl, an escort date will tend to end with interesting activities between consenting adults.

When an escort assumes a role, takes on and does not drop a character for her date, she is engaging at a very much deeper level. Donna, escorting in her Governess role, is creating an entire world for her clients whereas Carol is simply putting on a costume and doing a little bit of acting.

Escorts who want to enhance their incomes can certainly find a few costumes which work and use them to attract clients whose escort expectations go a bit beyond the Girl Friend Experience. Going deeper into role play can be very lucrative for an escort, especially in a larger center where there are more customers with very specific desires.

Whether an escort does the occasional dress up date or goes all the way into the invention of a role and a world within which to perform it, she is adding value to her services. Adding value to the escort experience is what a savvy escort is all about.

And who knew that old Girl Scout uniform could come in so handy?

21 | THE FEMININE ESCORT

There are many theories about why men hire escorts. They range from the “relief of unbearable urges” all the way through loneliness or sexual neglect at home and on over to kinky desires. Whatever the rationale, men do hire escorts and for the escort, the why is not the most important part of this business equation. She is more interested in translating this into things she can do to make sure men visit her in particular.

Examining the advertising, websites and other marketing material of higher-end escorts and courtesans, two facts seem ubiquitous. First, while many of the women are indeed beautiful, it is their femininity which they are really marketing. Secondly, the main selling point is rarely sex per se but rather the “experience”. These girls charge exorbitant fees and are successful because they have gone beyond the basics and are actually catering to what men really want.

What Are Men Missing?

Marketers talk about pain points: the annoyances, irritations and absences which prompt people to buy a product to solve a problem or fill a need. In every marketing discussion, identifying the source of the perceived problem is a key step to arriving at a selling solution.

Take a stroll down to your local mall. Look around for: i) pretty women, ii) stylish women, iii) feminine women. There are loads of pretty women. Physical beauty is not particularly rare. Certainly not so rare that a pretty girl is going to be outside the typical man’s daily experience.

Now look for stylish women. And yes, there is and should be differing views as to what constitutes style. However, as the wonderfully named Supreme Court of the United Stated Justice Potter Stewart said about pornography, “I can’t define it but I know it when I see it.” Style is not about fashion exactly. A girl can have a lot of style and not own a single designer piece. In a very real sense, style is a personal statement a woman presents to the world. For some girls that is all blending in; for others it is about standing out; but for the stylish it is about expressing themselves with elegance and confidence, and most of all, authenticity. They are comfortable in their own skin and their style doesn’t change with the fickle winds of fashion. They know what they like; what looks good on them; and although they may play and experiment with fashion, they rarely deviate from their signature style. They dress to please themselves not to impress others. To a degree style is also about things like makeup, a great haircut, beautiful fabrics, but these outer embellishments only serve as a reflection of a high degree of self-possession.  Designer labels are nice but not necessary: a girl with style can make a few carefully chosen items from a thrift store look stunning.

The notable thing about style is that it is an attitude more than a particular look. And it can’t be encapsulated in a formula either. Style can embrace many looks such as classic, feminine, eclectic to name but a few. All share a common sensibility, a sense of completeness, of self-containment, they walk with their head held high, they command attention and admiration. Think of iconic women such as Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, Jackie Kennedy. They didn’t follow trends; they set them.

In the modern world women work, they have to jostle in crowds, they need mobility and, sadly, in many cases they need to dress and behave defensively in a rather hostile urban environment. As a style option, skinny jeans and a killer black leather jacket may make a lot more sense than a pretty dress or a tight pencil skirt and heels.

So, as a final checkpoint on your stroll, look for women whose style leans towards the feminine: women who embrace a softer, perhaps even a romantic style. Try doing a “dress”, as opposed to pants, count. Sadly, it seems you can go days without seeing a single woman in a dress.

With your research at the mall complete, turn your attention back to the luxe escorts. It is a startling compare and contrast. Yes, it is reality versus fantasy, but it is also a wonderfully feminine, slightly old-fashioned, take on the sensual modern world. And it is a perspective that men are buying into. But why?

These escorts emphasize their feminine side, and are not afraid to be womanly in dress, manners, and approach to life. As such, they offer men a welcome relief from the harsh glare of the ordinary. From pretty lingerie to perfect sheets to flowers on the coffee table, these women are creating a deeply welcoming oasis from the stress and pressure of men’s everyday lives. Most of all, they are offering the great gift of their femininity. Everything about them, everything about their presentation of their services, speaks to an embodiment of the luxurious, the delicate, the pretty and the elegant. A lost world of pleasure and sensuality.

Which leads me to my theory: for an escort to do well, to have the generous clients she wants, to have the income and the security she needs, she should cultivate her femininity.

Kaitlan – Girly and Gorgeous

I wanted to see if my theory is borne out in practice and got in touch with Kaitlan who is a twenty-seven year old escort in the Pacific Northwest.

“I began escorting through an agency nearly four years ago. After about a year with the agency I decided to see clients independently. I saved a bit of money and I found a wonderful old two-bedroom apartment above a store near, but not in, downtown.”

“I still booked on a couple of days a week doing outcalls with the agency but the rest of the time I was seeing my own clients. I advertised in the usual places, Backpage and a couple of local review sites. I was doing fine, but not great. In my city there is a lot of competition at the service-provider level so rates were not fantastic.”

“Strangely enough, the reason I was escorting in the first place was to pay for a bunch of interior design classes. I really liked to decorate and was forever trying out new things in my apartment. I was doing several in-calls a week and I liked to have the place looking nice. And I was happily making enough to buy glorious furnishings!”

“I wanted to get a new set of photos done because the old ones had been done by the agency’s photographer and they looked like, well, like every other agency escort. I wanted something unique and I wanted to show off my space a bit. So I got everything set up just so and then, the day of the shoot, realized I hadn’t really thought too much about what I was going to look like.”

“Never schedule a photo shoot early in the day. But I had and so I had to frantically run around organizing lingerie and a little outfit I thought might work for the camera. Now, the truth is I am a very girly girl and left to myself I wear really simple, knit dresses or full skirts and layered tops. I wasn’t ready when the photographer showed up and I didn’t want to delay the shoot because he was doing it on a time for pictures basis. So I fluffed up my hair, put on lots of mascara and lipstick and he started shooting.”

“It was all a bit of a shamozzle with my lingerie all over the place and me trying to look seductive on my designer love seat wearing a silly low-cut evening dress. The good news was that I adore lingerie and am a fanatic about buying it, so I was wearing some gorgeous white lace panties and a balconette bra on under my gown. So we ditched the dress and shot the lingerie instead.”

“The photographs turned out absolutely amazing. My apartment looked fabulous, my swish new love seat looked elegant and modern at the same time. But what really surprised me, especially considering the chaos of the shoot, was the sense of calm that came through. I looked like a decadent rich heiress languishing about in her boudoir having just nonchalantly tossed off her evening gown.”

“Although I loved the pictures, I knew it wouldn’t fit the escort profile which I had already established with the agency and with my own ads. But thinking about it, I realized that this was a chance to do something different. I decided to change my image.”

“I changed my name to Kaitlan in my advertising and I wrote a couple of new ads. They were a real departure from what I had done before. Since I looked so sophisticated in the pictures, I decided to go after a more affluent market and increase my rates substantially. The ads were all about “pampering”, “relaxing”, and “pleasure”. I mentioned my loft rather than my breasts. One of the ads was completely non-escorty:

Join Me

Take some time from your busy life to visit an elegant woman. A pause for discerning, discreet, gentlemen. Luxurious surroundings, intriguing conversation and ultimate relaxation…want to hear more? Call Kaitlan.

“The ad had one picture. That was it.”

“I put that ad up and, frankly, wondered if anyone would call. I shouldn’t have worried. Not that my phone was ringing off the hook, but it was the most calls I’d ever gotten from an ad. And here was the important part, almost all the men who called, booked. And they didn’t question my fees which were almost twice as much as I’d been charging before, and they didn’t object to the fact I told them our encounter would be for a minimum of an hour and a half.”

“For my dates I dressed in ultra-feminine outfits (skirts, dresses, pretty shoes) and ab-fab lingerie (garters, stockings, sometimes even a corset). I was almost never entirely naked. We’d sip wine, have a few canapés and I would, in a very femme fatale way, make it seem as if taking them to bed was entirely my idea.”

“Quite quickly, in literally a matter of weeks, I had enough independent business that I dropped my agency. I did two, or at most, three dates a day and fairly quickly began to develop a wonderful set of regulars. I kept my ad up and had a new website built but my business was becoming about seeing particular men once or twice a month.”

“Over the next few months, if anything, I pushed the feminine even harder. For instance, for late night dates I would greet my clients in a wonderful two piece, floor length pale pink and grey peignoir set. The night dress was, as the expression goes, diaphanous but not quite transparent and there were froths of white lace at the collar and at the hem. The over robe was almost, but not quite as sheer and, if done up, all was concealed. A little pair of bedroom mules with the full on marabou feathers and a two inch kitten heel and I was the very picture of a slightly naughty girl on her way to bed. My clients loved it. I had to buy several which was fun. I’d haunt the vintage stores and get knowing glances from the salesgirls who often kept the prettier things for me.”

“Of course, when a gentleman became a regular, I would spend a little time asking him what he enjoyed so much that he kept coming back. I wasn’t fishing for compliments…but I was curious.”

"Three things came up.  First, they loved the fact I was a lady. They loved the clothes, the sense of style, the fact I didn't talk dirty. Second, the apartment kept them coming back. Those sheets, the really nice, thick, towels, and, yes, the flowers and the candles. And they noticed how tidy I kept the place. But the thing which came up over and over, was how I was a sort of old-fashioned girl. Buttons and bows. Feminine. Which I'm not so sure about but I get it."

My older clients remember a very different time where there were sort of rules about how girls dressed and behaved.  They missed that. I suppose when you are old you remember things a bit differently and there was often a wistfulness to our encounters. Not sad exactly, more nostalgic.”

“But what is really fascinating is my younger clients who tell me how completely relaxing it is to be with a woman who is not competing with them. I hadn't really thought about that when I made the changes but I think they're right. Girls my age see guys as totally their equals.  Which is great but it is not much fun for guys who need a bit of downtime. I let them take it easy. I take care of them. Their needs come first."

"I make it really easy for a fast track guy to enjoy my company without having to prove a thing. How I dress, how my apartment looks, even how I talk to him let's him let down his guard. My regulars are always surprised when I make sure I am wearing something they haven’t seen before. They don’t realize that this was what women used to do as a matter of course.”

“In a lot of ways I take both my older and my younger clients to a different world. The older gentlemen recognize it, the younger have no idea but a great time. It’s somewhere that it is ok for them to be men and important to me to be as feminine as I can.  Which is fine because it is very close to how I actually like to live.”

Reinventing the Feminine

Listening to Kaitlan I realized that this was an insight that some, by no means all, escorts might be able to use if they want to get beyond the basics. Kaitlan’s clients were coming to see her to escape a world where the feminine has been, somehow, devalued or even lost.

Again, looking at the really high end girls what they are offering is much more than the proverbial roll in the sheets. They are offering an experience of pure luxury, a place where a man will feel like a king.

Without really intending to, Kaitlan touched a profound need men have in a modern, egalitarian, world: the need to reach back to a gentler time and enjoy the company of a woman who simply enjoys her femininity. For every potential client who wants a pornified experience with a dash of sexual gymnastics, there are plenty of other potential clients who would like a break from that culture and that world.

Taking an escort business beyond the basics means adding value which is not, necessarily, about more sex. Rather it is about bringing the lost arts of the feminine to the business. While there is certainly money to be made in half hour blow and go dates that end of the market is crowded, competitive and more than a little unpleasant. By offering a deeper, more pleasing experience, an escort can build her business, increase her rates and end up much further ahead.

So, in the end, what are men missing? It is trite to say “A woman’s touch” but it is also accurate. Once a girl decides to leave the commodity end of the business she has the opportunity to offer her clientele a profoundly feminine, deeply erotic experience. There will be clients who don’t get it, but there will also be clients who can’t get enough.

22 | IT’S ABOUT ME? MARKETING FOR THE SHY ESCORT

When you look at escort ads, it is obvious that the girls are not at all reticent. The same thing is true on their websites, blogs and social media. Which is wonderful if you are the sort of girl who is comfortable being on display. But what if you aren’t? What if you are shy?

For a whole variety of reasons, young women are often socialized to avoid promoting themselves. For every girl who was a cheerleader there were dozens who weren’t or didn’t feel comfortable with the attention. Shyness can become a problem whether a girl is escorting or simply trying to get ahead in the business world.

What to do? First of all, understand that being a bit shy, avoiding the spotlight, is not always a detriment. For all the talk of alpha males wanting to date – or hire – women who are confident and self-assertive, here’s a little secret about them--they are often very happy to see a quiet, gentle and somewhat shy girl.

Making a virtue of a necessity is always advantageous. In the escorting profession, it gives a girl a marketing hook that is light years away from the others who are desperately seeking the spotlight.

Standing Out in the Market

Sounds like a contradiction doesn’t it: a shy girl standing out? Although writing about herself is sometimes difficult, an ad which highlights her quiet nature can be very effective:

Shy Girl for You

I’m really not quite sure what to say. I am more than a little shy. But I like to get out of my shell with kind generous men. I take a little knowing but I’m passionate and a little naughty under my quiet exterior. Brunette with a pretty face and a slim body.

This is an ad which whispers and it will stand out amidst the shouting.

A similar reserve, a basic tentativeness, can work equally well with your photographs, videos and website. Emphasizing who you actually are, is a great way to gain attention.

Shy girls can tend to be rather demure. Not for them the neon-coloured thong photograph. Instead, something simple and seductive such as a crisp white shirt with just that one extra button undone to reveal the pretty lace of a white bra will captivate a certain sort of client.

Carrying that theme over to your website and videos is fairly easy. Try to set a mood where you are not the focus of attention. After all, you client is coming to see you to have his needs met, not yours.

We learned about what it’s like to be a shy escorts from Leah, who works in a university library in a smaller city on the West Coast during the day and escorts several evenings a week.

Leah: Shyly Successful

“I’ve always been a bit shy, which is why I love my day job. I get to take a cart of books and disappear for two hours into the stacks. The problem was that while it paid fairly well, it was not a job where I could really afford to do much more than pay my rent and buy a few clothes. I have to admit I pay more rent than most girls my age because I have this wonderful little house that I love. Great location, but it costs a lot. I live alone and value my privacy and solitude. I can’t imagine anything worse than a roommate!”

“I’m not the sort of girl who most people would think of as escort material. I never thought of myself as escort material either!” I guess I’m pretty, and I walk and bike a lot, so I’m fit; but I’m a bit of a dreamy romantic. Probably from reading too many novels.”

“I got into escorting in an odd way; I’ve always liked to read the classified ads (don’t ask me why), and I always read the personals (you know, “M4F” which are hilarious). But one day there was an ad that caught my attention. I remember it so well, “Gentleman seeking enchanting woman as a muse/mistress.”

Although I had never thought of such a thing, the idea intrigued me. So I wrote and we met. He was a wonderful man who was looking for exactly what I was – an intelligent, twenty- something girl who could see him a couple of times a week. He paid me an allowance and it was all very civilized. So civilized that I kept reading the classifieds hoping to find other nice men.”

“They didn’t seem to turn up so I thought I would try my hand at writing my own ad:

Make Me Your Mistress

Lovely young woman seeks a generous gentleman for conversation and pleasure.

I put the ad up and prepared for nothing, or worse, a hundred pictures of penises. Nothing would have been fine, my original patron was still very much in the picture. The response was gratifying, if not overwhelming. Ten men responded and I arranged to meet all but one.

Because I am shy, I found the meetings a bit nerve wracking, but it was just as awkward for some of them. As it turned out, most of them had never really thought of having a mistress and were just responding to my ad out of curiosity. And it soon became clear what they really wanted. The only one who was actually interested in having a mistress had the charm of a frog (and not the princely variety, either). So when one of the others suggested that he would like to see me “from time to time” and asked what I would charge, I really was taken by surprise. Since I had no intention of being an escort, I thus had no clue about the going rate for such services. So I named a price which I thought would put him right off.

He booked the next night.

I don’t think I ever thought to myself, “So now I am an escort”. He arrived with flowers and a very nice bottle of wine and we sat and chatted for an hour before anything really happened. I just treated him like I treated my patron and he was delighted. So delighted he left a tip and wanted to see me a couple of weeks later.

My escorting business just grew from there. I had my two regulars who saw me one night a week each, and then I tried to have a couple of other “dates” a week.

Even after five years I still don’t really see myself as an escort. But I am a lot more confident than I was, and I have more money. A lot more.

I do a certain amount of what might be called “social dating” where my client wants to take me to dinner or maybe to the theatre. I’m fine with that, but I don’t do cocktail or corporate parties where I have to talk to strangers. I’m still not that confident.”

Tricia: Change the Ad, Change the Business

Tricia, a twenty nine year old escort in the Middle West, takes a totally different approach

“Like a lot of girls, I got into the business through a friend who thought that I’d be great at it. I suppose I was. My friend introduced me to her agency, so for the first year all I had to do was show up for dates. Which was easy but the agency was taking way too much of the money. My friend thought so too.”

“We decided to go independent. We sometimes would do duos but she is a very different sort of escort than I am. I like to be a low volume provider. Working for the agency I saw a lot of out of town business guys on an out-call basis. I didn’t like out-call at all. Knocking on the hotel room door freaked me out every time. Luckily though, I never had any problems.”

“I thought it would be a lot easier to work from my apartment. I had a few regulars who came into town pretty much every month. I didn’t feel bad taking them from the agency. I’d paid for them, I thought.”

“But there was one issue. The agency had done all the advertising. They had a photographer who shot all their girls. They even had a website where each girl had her own page which the agency set up for her.”

“I’m not shy in person. Just the opposite really. I can talk on the phone with clients, but I have a difficult time talking about myself, especially in writing.  So I asked my friend to write me a Backpages ad which she did, but it was a flop. I got responses, but not from the business guys I prefer. Which made sense because my friend wrote the sort of ad she uses for herself. I am pretty nicely put together and the ad was all about my measurements and my long blonde hair. So were the new photographs she chose.”

“I really didn’t know what to do because I was getting dates with young guys who wanted to get all athletic and pay as little as possible. Not my thing, and not what I am good at.”

“I was pretty unhappy and I guess I unloaded a bit with one of my regulars. Jessie – not his real name – is a sales guy. He comes to my city at the end of a sales line and he likes to spend a night before heading home. That’s when he sees me. He likes my place because it’s private, and it gets him out of the hotel.”

“I told him about how I was getting too many of the wrong sort of clients and not enough businessmen. He looked at it as a marketing problem. Who was my market? What were they looking for? In no time he’d written a short ad which didn’t mention my measurements at all and described me as a “pretty, blonde, business student”. He got out his smart phone and, in five minutes had taken a dozen really classy shots of me just wearing his white shirt. Which he thought was very sexy. Then he used some apps he had to turn the pictures into something which looked a bit vintage. It only took half an hour. He added the words, “discreet, discerning, businessmen” and that was it. I wanted to thank him but he said that I could thank him next time he was in town and I knew whether or not his efforts worked.”

“So I posted the ad he wrote and three of the pictures. Now, the funny thing was I posted on a Friday and had the slowest weekend ever. But Monday the phone started ringing and it rang all week. From just the sort of clients I was looking for. Then Friday came around again and the phone stopped ringing.”

I tried to figure out the busy week, the dead weekends. I thought about Jessie as the typical business traveler. He always arrived Monday morning and left as early as he could on Friday. Home for the week-end. Suddenly it made total sense. And I didn’t like working on the weekends all that much anyway.”

“The same pattern repeated itself the next week. Most of the clients were great. A few wanted me to do out-calls and I did a few, but most were really happy to come to my space.”

“When Jessie came back a couple of weeks later he had a present for me. He’d built a simple but fabulous website using the pictures he’d taken. He also wanted to take some more, this time with some pretty lingerie he’d bought. He likes really nice lingerie and has really good taste. I looked wonderful and I felt fabulous. The black lace with my blonde hair was stunning. He took a lot of pictures – and some he took in black and white which were so, well, elegant.”

“As you might guess, I took quite a while thanking Jessie and he said he was having a wonderful time doing my marketing. And that was all it took. He sort of invented an escort personality for me which was pretty true to life. But his real gift was knowing how to create an escort ad which attracted the clients I wanted.”

“I guess the main thing I learned from the experience is that as an independent escort you really do have to do marketing…but you don’t have to do it yourself. If I’d known that and Jessie had not come along, I could have put an ad up on Craigslist and hired someone who could have done the same thing.”

-----

Overcoming a shy disposition isn’t critical, but finding a way to work around or work with your shyness is. Leah and Tricia each found ways to escort without making huge changes in their personalities.

At the same time, they adapted their escorting styles to match their temperaments. For many clients, an evening with a calm, gentle girl is much more relaxing than an encounter with an ubër confident escort. Using advertising and a website to project a somewhat demure escort persona can be a beneficial and effective marketing exercise.

Most importantly, every escort can and should develop an escort persona which is right for her. Trying to be someone you are not will create stress for you, and a disappointing encounter for your client. Just be yourself, shy or not.

23 | TRAVEL - THE LONGEST DATE

Clients will sometimes ask an escort to accompany them on a trip.  Whether short or extended, travel raises a whole set of new opportunities and challenges.  Navigating travel dates is not always straightforward, but they can be lucrative and fun.

Business First
While your client may think taking you to wine country or to New York will be fun for you, the fact is that a weekend away from your business will cost you money.  Your client actually knows this.  So charge accordingly.

A good rule is that your fee for a weekend should be set at what you would normally make over a weekend with, perhaps, a discount if you're going somewhere you want to go. But, and this is critical, your fee should also reflect what your client expects of you.

Business or Pleasure
Your client is looking for a companion.  Aside from the obvious, you need to know why.  Is he going to a trade show, a wedding, a set of meetings or just to relax? Will you be with him all the time or will you have your days to yourself?

If it's a business trip are you a secret pleasure or will you be accompanying him to parties and dinners?

Whether it is business or pleasure, you'll need your client to buy you a travel wardrobe suitable to the requirements.  If you are on your own during the day, you'll need spending money.

So, when he asks what your escort fee will be, be up front about the "extras" you'll expect.  On a business trip where he's busy during the day but wants you to accompany him to business functions, hair, grooming and a trip to the spa can all also be added to the package.

On the other hand, a naughty weekend away with just the two of you can be delightfully simple.  You might ask for an outfit for Saturday night but that also might make you look plain greedy.  Never a good look.

Arrangements
Normally your client will book flights, hotels and other reservations. But your client knows you by your escort name.  This is not a problem for dinner, it is a huge problem for planes.

So, two alternatives if you are flying.  First, you book your own ticket and have your client reimburse you (which assumes you have a credit card.) Or you let down your guard and give him your real name.

If you are going away for a weekend or a week, the reality is that you are taking the escort-client relationship to a different level. A car trip to a close by resort requires little disclosure, a week in Paris is going to involve flights and passports.

Realistically, you really should not be thinking of traveling far enough to be flying with a client who you don't trust with your real name.

What to Pack
As a traveling escort you are being paid to look great.  Schlepping around in comfy clothes maybe fine for a country weekend but a smart day dress will beat jeans every time. (See earlier chapters on wardrobe planning. If you took my advice, packing is going to be a breeze. And if you read my stockings piece, you will also bring along a couple of garter belts and several pairs of stockings.)

You are also going along for your client's pleasure.  Which means taking a few escort specific items.  While pretty bra and panty sets are perfect for day, make sure you have evening wear worthy lingerie and lovely bedtime attire. At home you might sleep in a t-shirt and panties; for a trip you should aim to surprise your client every night.  Here the vintage and thrifts are your go-to for everything from sheer little baby dolls to long silk night gowns. Even though they will end up coming off, pretty, seductive, nightwear will keep your client amused.

Bring along a favourite toy for a potential show.  Bring several small candles to set the mood. Pretty scarves are fashion by day; light bondage or blind folds by night.  Of course an escort never travels without condoms and her trusty lube. Some massage oil and a bit of bubble bath can also heighten the pleasure.

The Long Date
Most escort encounters last an hour, with dinner, perhaps two or three.  A weekend, however, poses challenges you won't encounter on an average date. The activities of consenting adults - even with Viagra - are not going to keep your client amused for 48 hours.  And a week can be practically forever with someone you barely know.

For the moment, we'll assume a weekend with no business element.  What are you going to do?

First off, before you go, you are going to do your research on your destination.  What are the fun features? And, as importantly, what do you actually like to do? And what does your client enjoy? Knowledge really is power and an escort who can come up with a great itinerary on the spot is the one asked back again.

Second, figure out who's in charge.  Are you there to do what he wants or would he be happiest if you set the agenda? Then figure out if he wants a relaxed, kicked back experience or if he is a man of action who wants to pack each day with activities.  Obviously, if he takes you to a ski resort you'll be skiing, likewise of fishing or golf focused resorts. Those are easy (well, if you ski, fish, and golf).  But a new city or a quaint country town, require a bit of imagination.

If you are arriving Friday, a simple dinner and an early bed time may be a weary travelers’ best move.  But a clever escort will have alternatives beyond bed in case he wants to unwind a bit.  A good jazz club is always fun to find. A cozy bar or a comfortable artisan beer pub can be great as well. Look for what's available in walking distance and, whatever you do, don't overindulge. Remember, although you may appear to be on a holiday, you are really working.

For an escort, there is always the question of how she entices and captivates her client. In public, simple things like his taking your hand, all the way to his sliding his hand up your dress in private can, if handled clumsily, lead to awkwardness. Here, again, it very much depends on the client and how you manage him.

With rare exceptions, it is usually best for the escort to be in control of any erotic element of the date.  For instance, rather than having your client pick the moment to find out if you are wearing stockings, take the initiative and guide his hand to a destination you choose. While you are certainly adventurous and very seductive, in public an escort needs to be every inch the lady.  By taking the erotic lead you'll actually excite him more than if he has to make all the moves.

Whatever you decide to do your first night, upon arrival insist on going up to your hotel room and getting out of your travel clothes and into something pretty and appropriate. By doing do, you can set the erotic mood for the entire adventure.  A bit of tease is in order to keep him guessing and wanting more. A glimpse, or a suggestion is often more seductive than an overt gesture. Anticipation makes the pleasure all the sweeter. Which is not to say you can't offer him a quick, (but incomplete) bit of oral attention before you have your bath; but, again, as and escort you should try to control the pace. And it is not at all a bad idea to tell him to wait in the lobby or the bar while you take your sweet time bathing, making up and dressing. That way you get to make an entrance and keep him focused on you. Keep your privacy and your mysteries. For your first night, wear something sexy but understated - you want him to have things to look forward to. While alone, unpack anything you don't want him to see. Place the candles around the bedroom and, depending on his sense of humour, a condom on his pillow. A little spritz of your scent in the air makes the space yours. Remember the "do not disturb" sign, so you won't have to later.

On your return, make sure that while he gets a good look at your pretty lingerie you may wish to tease by undressing fully in the privacy of the bathroom. Plan ahead and have your night wear there. Next night, just when he expects the same routine, you surprise him with a strip tease. An escort must be unpredictable. In a good way, of course!

Aside: if he is using Viagra or a similar medication, if possible try to take control of the dosage and the timing. Many men will take 100mg when all they really need is 25mg. And many men will make a big deal out of carefully cutting their little picker upper.  All they need to do is bite a bit off.  Taken on a full stomach it will take at least 20 or so minutes to work.  Viagra can be an escort's best friend but it's best in small doses. You want him to run sprints, not marathons.

One other small note: most hotels now have the proverbial mini-bar/fridge. A clever escort will have found a local market and purchased a bit of smoked salmon or charcuterie, a baguette, a chunk of cheese, and perhaps a few chocolates, for grazing in the afterglow. Make this a holiday he is not going to forget.

Assuming all has gone well and the morning wood has been thoughtfully attended to, Saturday stretches before you. Have a mission or two for the day. Men, especially, men successful enough to afford to travel with an escort, are insanely goal-oriented. Nothing makes them happier than setting out to wander around with a particular goal in mind. Taking in a movie or seeing the sights, it doesn’t matter, he is happiest doing something. Wear some comfy flats and be ready to walk miles.

As part of your research on the locale, select a couple of potential eating spots, both the near and the far. As well, make sure you tap into the best cafes for a mid-morning coffee spot. While you can certainly have a little fun looking in shops, remember the fact men see shopping as a chore, not a past time.

Bring your own money. Yes, of course you want him to buy you that silk camisole; but having your own funds means he can offer to or not. If his memory of your weekend is of an escort with her hand out, he is not going to want to repeat the experience any time soon. Part of what he is buying is the fantasy of a beautiful, independent woman who he can have the pleasure of spoiling. (But, note, if you are on a business trip and he’s in meetings all day, you should make sure your travel arrangements include shopping money.) Some clients are more generous than others. Some will focus on the activities of consenting adults as the primary focus of the trip, others will enjoy the please and tease of the company of a pretty woman. It will depend.

Whatever the daily agenda, make sure that he knows you will want an hour or so to yourself before you meet him for cocktails and dinner. While some of that time will be spent wrestling with garter straps and unruly mascara, at least some of it needs to be your own down time. Check your email, relax by just being off escort duty for a while.

Saturday night on a weekend getaway is the production number---the highlight of the holiday. This may include a fabulous restaurant, a drop-dead gorgeous dress, really good wine. Once again, before you send him to the lobby, you may very well offer your oral attentions but, once again, to tease not to satisfy. You want him to know that you are planning a delightful evening ahead.

When you are choosing your outfit for the Saturday fireworks it is time to go for the full effect. You’re out of town. No one knows you are an escort and you can be anyone and wear anything you want and you think your client will enjoy. Whatever you choose, it should take his breath away when you come out of the elevator. At the same time, leave lots to his imagination. We will draw a discreet veil over the effects of your dress, the day, your earlier attentions, and your divine negligee. Suffice to say that when you have done “consenting” he’ll be so drained and delighted he may not even want his post-consent snack.

Sunday morning is sleep in time. You might book an early appointment in the hotel spa and leave him a pleasing note suggesting brunch. Let him have a bit of time to himself while you have your exertions of the night before massaged and bathed away.

If at all possible, and on Sundays it almost always is, make sure that you have the room until your planned departure because after a leisurely brunch, unless he is terrifically eager to go shoe shopping, before packing it will be time for the afternoon delight only an escort can provide.

By this point, your client will wonder to himself why he has never taken you away before. You, on the other hand, should be considering if you would go away with this particular man again. Up to you.

Some escort travel dates seem to fly by, with others the time hangs heavy. And, ultimately, this is where your professionalism as an escort kicks in: your weekend trip was not a test run for moving in together or marrying. It was designed for pleasure in the moment. His pleasure. And your profit.

24 | SEEKING ARRANGEMENT

There are a variety of ways by which a girl can be compensated for her time and favours. While the by-the-hour, multiple-client model is standard practice with the girls who advertise on the escort sites or work through agencies, the by arrangement model can be just as lucrative and with many more advantages.

A typical arrangement has a well-to-do man pay a girl an allowance in exchange for her company. But, truth to tell, there are no typical arrangements; rather there are negotiations which lead to informal arrangements.

What characterizes these arrangements is that they are usually for several months --- sometimes longer, and involve, at least, a fixed monthly fee.

While some people will describe this as a Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby set up, I prefer to use the more elegant terms, Patron and Mistress. The "sugar" world is tied tightly to what I'd describe as bling culture. This type of relationship lasts for only as long as it takes the baby to grab the bling and the daddy to find his next babe. Fine if you like that sort of thing, but it is more Lunch at Walmart than Breakfast at Tiffany's.

An arrangement between a patron and his mistress is an altogether different enterprise. First of all, if bling is involved, it is lavish, luxurious, and refined. Expensive goods, but discretely so. This allows the woman to live comfortably and well. It may go from diamond and gold to cars and St. Barthes. The world is definitively her oyster. At least for now.

The logic of mistress hood is summed up in this wonderful adage, Money is the tribute age pays to beauty.

At a certain age and level of success, a man has options. He has the house, the other house, the cars, the kids in prep school or college, his wife busy with her own life, his business humming along. He may not be the one percent, but by God, he's in the top ten percent. And yet he's, somehow, not quite there, a bit bored, a little tiny piece of him is asking, Is that all there is?

To reach his level, he has a lot of ambition and drive. When he is unsatisfied, he does not let the itch go unscratched. Now he's looking around.

The dumb ones put the squeeze on their secretary or an intern. But in these enlightened times that is a sexual harassment suit waiting to happen. Worse, the terms of trade are terrible: she'll want to be his girlfriend or to replace his wife and that is a 50% of net worth proposition. Divorce is ugly and expensive if you have substantial assets. And it turns the home and the office into a war zone. Not good.

Philandering, having an affair, is an intelligence test for a well-off man. The smart ones pass the test by staying the hell away from girls whose main chance is to become the next "Mrs". Far too much at stake for what is likely to be a mere fling.

For amusement, they might occasionally spend some time with a high-end, discreet, escort. The only problem being, as Mr. Spitzer found out, even the highest level, girls can be compromised. Their agency gets busted, they hit a rough patch, someone leans on them; doesn't matter why, because the gentleman's cover is blown.

A Mistress
Keeping a mistress is entirely different because the relationship is protected by simple, easy, subterfuge.

A girl seeking an arrangement has a wide variety of ways to find the arrangement she's looking for. She can advertise, join one of the many websites which put mistresses and patrons together, or simply place herself in environments where wealthy me are likely to be found. It is a deal that does not leave a paper trail.

A mistress's primary qualification is that she is an available woman who chooses money rather than love and commitment. While she may very well want a white picket fence and babies eventually, she doesn’t want his fence or his babies.

A great mistress ad might read:

A Muse
I am 27, accomplished, clever, sensual. I love my books, my work, my lovely vintage lingerie. Seeking an arrangement with a smart, older, discerning, gentleman with taste, savvy, and discretion. For me life is about conversation, learning and pleasure. I want to be led a little while I inspire. I am entirely discreet. Private. Your secret.

-----

If there is a photograph with the ad, it should be subtle. A mistress is never wholly revealed, let alone on the advertising pages or at first sight. What this ad is designed to elicit, is a response. Most replies will be dismal. And you must be selective. If you don't like the reply, there is no point in chatting. The right patron will have the words to reach you.

And there is the difference between an escort and a mistress: a mistress is hugely choosey. She is delighted to be paid for her favours, but not just anyone can buy them. There is a balance between cash and chemistry. There is sometimes also, an element of mentorship. Looking for a Patron who can be helpful, whether by steering business in her direction or getting her a good day job, only makes sense for an ambitious young woman.

The exact nature of the patron/mistress relationship is always the subject of negotiation and will evolve as the relationship progresses. But there are a couple of constants. First, the patron will want to see his mistress once or twice a week. Chances are very good that he will want intimacy as a part of each encounter. In most cases, these encounters will either be at -- or end up -- at the mistress’s apartment or condo.

A wise mistress makes sure that these encounters are about far more than a roll in designer sheets. She knows that her patron can buy that almost anywhere. While a patron will certainly expect a good deal of pleasure, a clever mistress makes sure that there is much more to the encounters.

Part of what the patron is paying for is the company of a pretty, well-dressed and well-groomed, pleasing young (or not) woman who puts him first. He is not just paying for sex, he is paying for fun and intelligent conversation. And the luxury of being the center of attention.

So, while a mistress will certainly cater to her patron’s sexual desires, she will also make it her business to cater to the rest of his wishes: what does he love to eat? What is his favorite drink? How does he like her dressed? Does he love stockings and lacy lingerie or does he prefer her naked under a semi-sheer robe?

What, in fact, a patron is paying thousands of dollars a month for is a few hours a week of pure relaxation in the company of a woman who understands that her job is to be become his ideal woman. Of course that ideal will vary from man to man. For one man, it might be nothing more complicated that watching Monday night football with cold beer at the ready and plenty of off-field half time pleasure. For another, it might be a chance to escape the week’s business activities with an uninvolved and uninformed companion.

A good mistress learns as she goes. While the first few encounters may be a little awkward, things usually smooth out as she gets to know her patron. The point of having a mistress, along with sex, is for a man to have one woman in his life whose entire focus is his happiness and satisfaction.

The truth is that most highly successful men have endless conflicts and endless demands on their time and their attention. Often, if they are married, their wives have become high-powered women in their own right. Meaning they bring their own set of issues to the matrimonial bed. While men may think they are taking a mistress for sex, in most cases they will keep a mistress because, of all the people he knows, she alone will give him her full attention without expecting anything – except her allowance – in return.

Preparation

Recognizing that, a mistress needs to come fully prepared to her first meeting with a prospective patron. Of course she will look perfect. For that first meeting, always in a public place, usually over a meal, a prospective mistress is about the promise of things to come if a satisfactory arrangement can be reached.

But before they ever meet, the mistress-to-be will have done her homework. The Internet is a wonderful resource. A successful man leaves tracks. A Linked-In profile, press coverage, company profiles, an hour’s time rooting around in Google, will tell her a lot about him. If he checks out then she takes the meeting.

When you are going into a negotiation, it is imperative to know what your own goal is. An allowance – great, how much? This is a business arrangement so having a figure in mind is critical. What could you live with? What would make you happy? These are two different numbers. But they give you a negotiating range. Ideally, how long do you want the arrangement to last? (Three months is a good minimum, a year means you are both having a good time.)

Remember that your potential patron is not in the position to keep a mistress because he is a business idiot. He has negotiated hundreds, possibly thousands, of deals. It is his element. So let him structure your arrangement. For business reasons of his own, he might want to pay the rent and sign the lease corporately. He may want to have you come on as a consultant and invoice monthly. What you are looking for is the right number, how he gets to the right number is up to him. However, no matter how he arrives there, you need to make sure that at least 2/3 of the money is paid directly to you. Expenses are extra. If he wants smoked salmon, Taittinger Champagne and you in a pretty silk nightie, he needs to make sure to leave you a few hundred dollars a week in luxury money. And he needs to know this upfront.

It is much better for a mistress to be upfront about her living costs at the outset rather than have vexing money problems come up after the affair is launched. If he blinks, the question is whether he is blinking at the expense, or because he can’t afford the expense. If the later, it is time to wrap up the conversation.

Time and Exclusivity

The other two major terms of the arrangement are your time and the question of exclusivity. Being very clear on your time commitment makes everything go more smoothly. An evening or afternoon a week is a good starting point. But there is nothing wrong with the occasional long lunch or weekend away. The point is to be flexible at the outset. (In this cyber age, it is wise to discuss cell calls, texts and emails. Welcome or not? If not, never over-step this boundary.)

Exclusivity is a bit more complicated. The truth is that a girl could entertain more than one patron. Or have a real boyfriend. Or operate as an escort. Some patrons would be outraged at such accommodations and insist on the mistress’ fidelity as paramount. , Others may prefer not to know, or are even a bit relieved that they are not their mistress’ sole support. These are the types of terms upon which your compensation package hinges. A businessman understands that an exclusive agreement means that she would be giving up additional income. If that’s what he wants, he must be willing to pay for it.

By taking a mistress, he is committing to a purely financial relationship which is not to threaten his wife, his home, or his reputation. A mistress is discreet by nature and no drama is one of the things a patron pays for and a mistress delivers.

Seeking an arrangement lets a girl improve her income, gain a mentor, have a bit of security and avoid some of the hazards of the escort world. The right arrangement can be a wonderful relationship and go on for years. The very years a young woman could use the most help.

CLIENTS

The success of an escorts business depends completely on her clients. But who are these men who want to shower you in money for an hour or two of your time?

To a very large degree an escort, by writing specific ads and targeting specific sorts of men has some control over her clientele. She has even more control if she screens her gentlemen callers carefully.

At the same time, specific sorts of clients require specific sorts of service not to mention differing levels of sophistication.

25 | AN ESCORT’S GUIDE TO OLDER MEN

If you are a twenty-two year old escort, virtually all the men you meet are older. There is a wonderful saying, Money is the tribute age pays to beauty, and that sums up the role an older man has for an escort, courtesan, or mistress. The great advantage of escort dates with older men (50+) is that, for the most part, they know precisely what they are looking for. They are mature, if not wise, and a good deal of the angst which may attend an escort date with a younger man is absent from encounters with men over fifty.

At the same time, older men are not likely to see an escort as simply a “service provider” or “sex worker”. They tend to regard the escort as a woman offering them something special and in turn, they treat her with a certain kind regard. They grew up in a world where “hooking-up” was rare and sexual activity, or even the promise of sexual activity, was wrapped up in a lot of moral complications. And the older they are, the more likely they are to have complex issues surrounding the very idea of escorts. Not necessarily negative issues; rather a tendency to take the entire transaction as being more transgressive than younger men are likely to consider it.

From the escort’s perspective, an older man may be preferable simply because he does see the escort arrangement as more than a little naughty. Coming to a date with this attitude means that it is easier for the escort to exercise the degree of control required for a pleasurable, safe encounter.

For escorts, older men offer an opportunity to create a stable, generous clientele. Older men have had longer to make money, and, particularly if their children are grown and/or they have not racked up a number of ex-wives, they have fewer demands on their wallets than their younger counterparts. For many older men the process of finding, meeting and spending time with an escort is somewhat stressful and for that reason, once they have found a girl they like, they are likely to become a regular simply to avoid the anxiety of the search.

Rachel: Old Wine in New Bottles

Some escorts actually specialize in older men, indicating in their advertising and on their websites that they “prefer” gentlemen 55+ or that they are only accepting appointments from 50+ clients. Let me introduce you to one: Rachel is a 34 year-old escort working in a mid-western city.  She got in touch with me via my website and we’ve been chatting. It goes without saying that Rachel is not her real name. Rachel has a degree in History and has an online business selling vintage clothes and housewares. She’s not married and is very coy about whether she is seeing anyone.

When I turned thirty I had been escorting for three years and I wanted a change. I thought maybe I would start doing therapeutic massage and see a few of my regulars. But I had this wonderful client who was in his early seventies. We’d often go for coffee and sometimes back to my apartment. I told him what I was thinking of and he suggested that I just shift my business to older men. I did and I have never looked back.

Three great things about escorting for older men: first, they don’t have anything to prove. They are not going to want to hop into bed at the start of a date and stay there for two hours. Second, they are mainly polite and almost always very generous. My income is nearly double what I was making when I saw younger clients. But the biggest thing is that they are rather sweet and very grateful.

Rachel now sees exclusively men over 50, and actually prefers men in their 60’s and 70’s.

I made a few changes in my advertising and on my website. Most importantly, I set my minimum encounter time to an hour and a half and I charged a fair bit more. Men who are retired or semi-retired have more time and more money.

I’ve also changed the nature of my encounters. I spend more time talking and I try to make them feel relaxed. They seem to really care about who I am. A lot of my clients are quite shy and I find having a cup of tea together, and letting them get to know me a little, makes them more comfortable.

There is no question about it, older men just love lingerie. When I was doing general escorting I could count on a nice push-up bra to do the trick; but with my older clients, stockings, a pretty garter belt, a feminine bra all add to the magic. They just love to be teased.

Most of Rachel’s encounters do end up in her bedroom.

I have to say that Viagra and similar drugs makes it all go very smoothly. But I don’t give my clients anything – they need to see their doctor. Once in a while there will be a little performance issue, but usually a few naughty words in the right place and we can get the job done. If not, we don’t worry about it, and I’ll put the kettle on.

Rachel thinks she is the one who has really benefitted from her association with these men she wouldn’t have met or known otherwise:

When I was doing regular escorting, I didn’t pay much attention to my apartment. Now, with my older clientele, I have moved to a nicer place – paid for by a client who happens to own the building – and I have a really modern and chic space. Now I also make sure there are fresh clean towels, a new bar of soap, and I’ve become a whiz at making delicious hors d'oeuvres and pouring champagne. My clients want to feel pampered and in return, they pamper me. I love it. I’ve discovered I’m a bit of a domestic goddess. Who knew?

And Rachel has no objection to pampering!

Most younger men either hate shopping or are terrible at it, and are generally a giant pain to be with in the shops. I, on the other hand, love shopping and want to take my time and enjoy myself. One of my older clients finds this both amusing and charming, and because he has the patience of a saint, we have a standing date and we scour the vintage stores and thrift stores and have a blast. Before heading home, we stop in for a glass of wine at this glitzy bar he knows I love. He is so generous and enjoys buying me pretty much anything I like, especially when he knows I couldn’t afford it myself (like designer handbags and vintage furs). He always has an honest opinion when I try things on, and since he has a really great eye for fashion, I’ve really upped my style because of him.

Another client likes to know I am taking care of myself and he always tips me cash and a day at the spa. I have to tell him when I am going because he wants his next appointment the day after when I am all buffed and smooth.

There are a few downsides of course.

The biggest problem is that we are of totally different generations. Which means we don’t always have that much in common--at least pop-culture wise. But I’m lucky because most of my clients are well-educated and have been successful. We might not be able to talk about the music I like, but we can listen to music we both like, talk about what is going on in the world, or books that they like and think I might like, too. It works out wonderfully and I find I am learning a lot. I like their more relaxed, philosophical perspective on life.

The upsides can be huge:

I had one sweet man who was not at all well. Nothing life- threatening, but he had to spend a couple of weeks in the hospital. I asked if I could visit him – I didn’t want to intrude on his family – and he said he would love a visit. I dressed up and went. He got better and came to see me a week later telling me he had something for me. And he did: he arranged the transfer of all his frequent flyer points to me because his doctors said he shouldn’t fly. I went to Italy that summer and Maui in the winter.

Older Men Prefer Ladies

I asked Rachel if she had any advice for an escort who wanted to target the over 50 market.

First off, be a lady. I know it sounds a bit cliché, but older men like it when the escort they are hiring is feminine.

Second, charge more than the going rate. Older men have learned that you get what you pay for. If you charge a premium rate they will be pretty sure that you are worth it. The great thing is that if you charge a premium rate you can really spend the time your client wants. When I did regular escorting, on a busy day, I had to keep my eye on the clock. Now I hardly work at all, but my income has gone up.

Final point, be prepared to hear a lot of advice. Most of my older escort clients have been very successful businessmen, lawyers, entrepreneurs and they have a lot to say. Actually, most of the advice is pretty solid, and I’ve acted on a good deal of it. Sometimes, though, they sort of switch over to “fatherly”, so I usually just smile sweetly and change the subject, or once in a while, I’ll play the naughty little girl and suggest that he give me a good spanking. Great fun and only one of them has actually spanked me hard enough to hurt.

I asked Rachel about how she marketed herself to this older escort client demographic.

Advertising is the first step. I have a couple of simple ads basically saying “pretty young woman offers companionship to gentlemen 55+”. Nothing more complicated than that. I have two or three pictures – fully clothed – which I use for my ads. The most erotic image in the bunch is a shot of my adjusting a garter tab. But it is gorgeous. On all my ads I ALWAYS have a link to my website.

My website is equally simple: a few pictures which I update every couple of months, a description of my services – and a very discreet description it is. My rates and some contact information. A lot of men of this age like to use the phone rather than email or text, which is fine by me. I am a bit strict on the contact information. I don’t take calls from blocked numbers and I am only available on the phone from 10 a.m. to 10 pm; otherwise email has to do.

I stay away from review sites because my clients are not hobbyists, and I have no interest in that whole ‘on public display’ vulgarity. I guess that’s why I do so well with the older set, I have some of the same old-fashioned ideas.

I only run my ad sporadically because I’m not really looking for more clients: 80% of my business (and 90% of my revenue) comes from my regulars. My real marketing is to make sure that they have a great time when they come to see me. I think I’m doing pretty well at that: I have one man who sends a thank you note on engraved personal stationary after every one of our appointment. And he always encloses a crisp hundred dollar bill.

Rachel is a sharp entrepreneur. She has two businesses, and sources of income. She works very hard as a purveyor of vintage goods, and has arranged her escort business as a leisurely and lucrative sideline. It’s my pin money, she says.

I sometimes get referrals. There is a little network of my regulars who will slip my card to a friend. I think they are rather delighted that they have found me.

Web-savvy, Rachel runs an escort website and a site for her online shop. The two do not cross paths. She is serious about keeping both very separate. She does have elegant and discrete business cards which do cross boundaries. With only her name and email address on it, neither buyers nor clients, are the wiser.

And the future?

The thing about focusing exclusively on older men, is that my escorting career can go on for years. I’m 34 years old, and by the traditional standards of the escorting business, I’m ancient! But my clients aren’t interested in a school girl, so I can keep escorting for as long as it suits me.

Rachel makes an excellent point about escorting for the over 50 market – while the competition is intense for regular escorts where youth and beauty are at a premium, building a business focused on older men can make it a business which lasts.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about my escort business. Before I specialized, my escort business had its regulars, but mostly it was random. And no matter how carefully you screen, every random is a risk. Now, the biggest issue is trust, not risk. My older clients are regulars because they trust me. And I trust them. There are no games – well, a few, but they’re lots of fun!

It’s funny, I have gone from being an escort, to being something of a ‘friend with benefits’ to a group of older men. If I didn’t think it would be awkward, I’d have an awesome Christmas Party for my clients every year.

26 | ESCORTING IN THE ASIAN MARKET

Asian Americans make up 5.6 percent of the total American population.  However the census counts everyone from the Chinese and Vietnamese to Filipino to Indians and Pakistanis as “Asian”.  While all of these demographics represent potential markets for an escort, for the moment I’m going to look at the Chinese (3.79 million) and Japanese (1.3 million) as the focus for an escort’s marketing and service enterprise.

The first thing to know about the very notion of “Asian” is that it is vast and diverse in almost every particular. A first generation Han Chinese immigrant is vastly different from a fourth generation Californian who just happens to have Japanese ancestry. The second thing to know is that the Asian populations in the United States are overwhelmingly concentrated in a few large cities: Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles on the West Coast and New York City on the East Coast together hold well over 50% of the Chinese population in the US. The Japanese population is overwhelmingly in Los Angeles and in Honolulu.

However, while these statistics tell part of the story, the other part is all about the sheer number of Chinese, and to a lesser extent, Japanese visitors to the US. In 2012 1.5 million Chinese tourists came to the United States. They spent almost 9 billion dollars. Add to that the huge number of Chinese business visitors and you have an idea of the huge market potential inherent in these numbers.

On the Japanese side, 1.4 million tourists came to Hawaii in 2012, and an additional 500,000 came to mainland USA. Japanese businessmen accounted for nearly 80,000 visas to the US in 2013. This constitutes another huge market.

Specializing in the Asian Market

There are many reasons why an escort might want to specialize in the Asian market. Obviously, the sheer size of the market in some areas is a significant factor. Add to that the fact that Asians spend a lot of money when they travel and the tourist and business market becomes very attractive. Then there is the belief – whether true or false – that Asian men are easy, respectful escort clients. In all, this adds up to a niche which an ambitious escort may wish to explore.

The question is how to best tap this potential? Assuming that a girl lives in a city with a fair sized Asian population, a simple first step is to add the magic words “Asian gentlemen preferred” to a classified escort ad. It seems like a trivial thing, but it will let an escort gauge the response and decide whether to take the trouble to reach out to that market segment.

However, because “Asian” takes in the Indian sub-continent, some escorts are even more specific and advertise along the lines of “Oriental” or “Chinese and Japanese gentlemen preferred”.

(And, while we are here, a note on prejudice. It is in the nature of escorting that encounters with clients are intimate and culturally bound.  Stating a preference is very different from making a straight “exclusionary” statement. An independent escort has to screen her own clients and there are all sorts of reasons why she may have a preference for one sort of client over another. It is very much her right to choose.)

Assuming for the moment that this minor alteration in an escort’s normal course advertising is successful and she begins to attract Asian clients, it makes sense to pay attention to the nuances and preferences of this new clientele.

Formality as a cultural bridge

For the moment let’s consider the Chinese or Japanese traveler. Whether a tourist or a businessman, the traveler may bring a number of challenges to an escort encounter. First off the obvious: language. Whether it is booking the date or what to do on arrival, the language barrier is very real. Secondly, culture: how men see the escort experience is very much a matter of the culture in which they have been raised. The very concept of “escort” is deeply culturally laden. In China especially, there is a long tradition of sex for sale, however it can tend to be a very rudimentary transaction.

If a girl wants to specialize in, or have a significant exposure to the Chinese or Japanese traveler markets, it is going to make sense for her to invest a bit of time and effort in being able to bridge the cultural and linguistic gap.

No one expects an escort to be fluent in an Asian language. And one assumes that the business or tourist traveler is also conversant (to a greater of lesser degree) in English. He is, after all, responding to your ad written in English. However, if you are targeting a particular market it makes a great deal of sense to learn a few words such as, “Please”, “Thank you”, “No”, “Yes” as well as a few useful phrases to make any encounter go more smoothly.

At the same time, when dealing with a Japanese or Chinese client, make it easy for him to understand you. People who speak limited or minimal English need to be able to pick out the words you are saying. That means you will be better understood if you:

- use simple words
- use short sentences
- pause between sentences
- say the same thing in more than one way

- listen carefully to what your client is saying

- repeat back to your client what you think he said

- gesture
- avoid direct questions
- avoid slang

- remember that humour does not always translate

At the same time, non-verbal actions can send a powerful message. Something as simple as bowing slightly when he first arrives at your in-call location will set a tone, and indicate that you understand and appreciate the culture he comes from. So will having tea ready. So is having a little tray of snacks. Asians have a love of ceremony and formality. They also have a natural reserve so act accordingly. And brush up on your manners, you are going to be using them.

Spending a few minutes sipping tea while asking simple questions like, “Where are you from?” is a good way to establish an comfortable atmosphere at the beginning of the date.

The critical thing is that just as in any other escort encounter, you need to establish that you are in charge, that you will be conducting the activities. Simply by beginning in a respectful but firm way, you can achieve the position which will make the rest of the date go smoothly.

Theory to Practice: Lauren’s Chinese Only Escorting

Lauren works in a large West Coast city and has made a specialty of Asian business travelers.

“I didn’t really set out to be an Asian-only escort but that seems to be the way things have worked out,” explained Lauren.

“It really all started when I met the concierge of a fairly large downtown hotel. I had a date in the hotel and he figured out that I was working. Anyway, as I was leaving he suggested that we get a cup of coffee. Which we did.”

“He was Chinese, from Hong Kong, and he suggested that he might be able to “introduce” me to some businessmen that he had a relationship with. He obviously guessed I did in-calls,” she laughs,” which is actually what I prefer. I don’t think he wanted me to work at his hotel, which was fair enough,” said Lauren “In fact, I think offering to refer clients was his very polite way of shooing me away.”

“A couple of days later he called and asked if I might be available to entertain a visitor that evening. I was and that was my first Mainland Chinese client. Quite a young man, late thirties I would say, and fortunately, he spoke quite a bit of English.”

“Very much a date like most others. My usual rates plus a $100 tip. I made sure to drop a very nice thank you card off to my concierge with a crisp $50 discreetly tucked in the card.”

“At the beginning I would see perhaps two or three Chinese businessmen a week. They almost always booked and paid for two hours but they rarely stayed more than an hour.”

“I am lucky. I have naturally blond, long, straight hair which these Chinese guys seem to love. But it turns out that the biggest thing they raved about to my hotel contact was how clean my place is. Once I realized how fanatical they are about hygiene, I make sure to have fresh sheets and towels after each date. A wrapped bar of soap for them to use in the bathroom, or pump soap at the very least. And I’ll tell you a little secret, I have hired a cleaning woman to come in once a week (I can afford one, now!)

The Asians are extremely aware of fashion and appearances, so it doesn’t hurt that I have a modern downtown loft to work from. I have redecorated it in a really chic, contemporary style. I have also upped my game in the wardrobe department, too. These clients notice everything, and are very attentive to details and quality. They love luxury, so my home is a haven of designer touches on a shoe-string budget. I’m a big customer of Ebay and vintage shops! I look successful; and I am.

“After a month or two, I got a call from another guy who mentioned my concierge and asked me to meet him for lunch. Nice man, also Chinese, also from Hong Kong. He asked me if I would be willing to learn a little Chinese if that meant getting more clients. I said sure, and a week later, I was taking basic conversational Mandarin lessons for a couple of hours, two afternoons a week. He wanted me to take Mandarin because most of the business men he worked with were from the Mainland. Which is funny because he spoke Cantonese as do most people from Hong Kong.”

“Learning the basics of Mandarin was hard, but it was very lucrative. The fact is that while the Chinese businessmen from Hong Kong spoke Cantonese, they often also spoke English; but the Mainlanders spoke Mandarin and very rarely had more than extremely rudimentary English. For the Mainlanders, having a girl who could say anything in even the worst Mandarin was a huge plus.”

“Almost all my Chinese clients have been referrals. Once word got out that there was a blonde who made a bit of an effort to treat Chinese men well, I was booked pretty solid. And they expect high rates and they are very generous with their tips.”

“In terms of the escort work itself, it was pretty seamless. In fact I think I probably gave them more for less than they were getting from the girls they saw in China. In China – leaving aside the absence of blondes – there is very little in the mid-range for escorts. Many of my clients were used to the rub and tug massage parlor routine or they were used to really, really expensive girls.”

“Although now most of my escorting clients are Chinese, I do get the occasional Japanese business referral. I don’t have more than a few words of Japanese but all of my Japanese clients have some English. Again, pretty straight forward dates but the one thing which a few of my Japanese clients have wanted to do is drink with me. And I am not talking a glass of champagne. I learned fast not to have those dates as in-calls.”

“Probably the easiest money I make as an escort is to go with one or two Japanese businessmen to one of the Japanese clubs or restaurants in town. I am really there to pour their whiskey. They have these little rooms with rice paper walls and sliding doors. My clients seem to love being seen with a blonde. They might paw me a little but usually I am there to laugh when they laugh and listen to them try to tell me stories in not very good English. Most nights they are way too drunk to do anything. But they pay my full evening rates.”

“For the Japanese men who are not fixated on drinking a bottle of whiskey in an hour and a half, it is very pleasant to make and serve tea. I was given a beautiful cast iron sake set with the flask and the little cups. (They are big on gifts, so be prepared to get a lot!) There is a lovely social ritual to serving sake. It is very easy to learn and it is very much appreciated by members of the Asian culture. The art to it, is that as the hostess, I only serve my client not myself. He then serves me. One minor thing which I had to learn was that it is wise to avoid finishing a cup of sake because your client will, immediately, feel he has to pour you another.”

The Asian Advantage

I asked Lauren if having her clientele become almost exclusively Asian had altered anything for her as an escort.

“Huge changes. First off, I really don’t have to advertise which means I am not getting random calls at all hours from guys who are going to be no shows anyway. That’s a huge plus. Second, I make much more money. I have more than doubled my rates on the recommendation of the people who refer my clients. Both the Chinese and the Japanese see paying a high price for something as a way of ensuring that they are getting the best value. Third, my visibility as an escort has vanished – I took down my review profile, I don’t advertise and my clients are very quiet and respectful when they come to my loft. I don’t worry about the police because they really have almost no chance of even knowing I am working.”

“I also feel a lot more secure. My clients are being referred by people I trust. I can verify that they are staying at a good hotel. I don’t have to be worried that they are cops or dangerous. Plus, there is no chance at all that I am going to end up having someone I know arrive as a client.”

“The only downside is that you have to be very firm and upfront about money. Especially with the Chinese who live in a culture where the posted price is the place you start negotiations. Even clients who have been referred and who I have told on the phone what my rates are, will arrive and try to cut my price in half. I was pretty worried about that at the beginning but having pushed my rates up by more than double, I now can afford to haggle for twenty minutes and then, to save their face, knock 10% off which, almost always comes back with extra as my tip.”

How, we asked, should a girl interested in working as an Asian specialty escort get started. “Well, I was really lucky obviously. But the Chinese traveler market especially operates on introductions and referrals. So you really do have to figure out where the Chinese businessmen in your city stay and where they go to play. Then look for a way in.”

“Of course you can also advertise. Which does work. But if I were advertising now, I would do it two ways – with Chinese characters added to a Dating.com or Backpage ad, and go and take a look at the Chinese media in your city both online and printed. The classified ads are inexpensive. You will probably have to go in under massage but that won’t matter.”

“Whatever you do, try to get a little bit of a jump by learning at least a tiny bit of Mandarin.”

“Final point. Be aware that with Chinese travelers you are likely the only part of their trip where they will be on their own, away from a group or their business associates. They are making a huge leap to come into my home. Making that easy and enjoyable for them will mean you will fairly quickly build a great reputation with the people who can send you business. In the Chinese world it is all about who you know so make sure you have great introductions.”

27 | ESCORTING YOUNGER MEN

England's The Telegraph newspaper has been covering a recent report on escorting in the UK. There are many interesting elements in the report, but by far the most curious is the fact that escort services are increasingly being used by younger professional men. The report is not clear as to whether these younger men are married or not. However, it does indicate that younger men give themselves the treat of an escort several times a year.

It’s an observation that rings true for Charlotte Rose, escort and sexual trainer. Two of her most regular clients are best friends, both aged 19, who visit Rose one day after the other. Neither count as anomalies among her clientele.

"The demographic is changing towards younger professionals because younger men’s preferences are changing," Rose tells me. "A ‘professional service’ with an escort [creates] a mutual understanding of what the client wants and gets. All do’s and don'ts are pre-discussed and fantasies are more easily explored."

Different escorts have very different views of their younger clients. But there is certainly some agreement as to the factors motivating the younger generation.

Candace: Tech and Time

One defining influence is the intersection of limited time and unlimited internet. “Most of my younger clients find me online.” said Candace, a twenty four year old escort in Dallas. “And if I look at my traffic statistics, more and more of them are finding me using their smart phones.”

“I cater to a pretty up market clientele and they like to be able to visit on the spur of the moment. I’ve made sure that my website is mobile compatible and easy to view. Now, my ideal client is in his late 30’s early 40’s because they have a lot of disposable income and they know what they want. But the age has been trending downward the last few years so that now about half my clients are late twenties, early 30s.”

We asked Candace why she thought younger men were coming to see her. “I think there are a bunch of different reasons. The old story that “you don’t pay an escort to come and see you, you pay her to leave” is a big part of it. A lot of my clients have really intense jobs. They’ll work 18 hours a day, six days a week, and then work 12 hours on Sunday and think they’ve had a day off. Some of them have flat out told me that they just don’t have time for a real girlfriend. And they really don’t have time for the whole dating thing.’

“I advertise on a website like skipthegames.com because skipping the games is what I am all about. As one of my clients told me, the fact is that when you are a young guy doing a lot of business, the whole dating thing is a time investment you don’t want to make. Leave aside the emotional commitment, simply taking a girl out for drinks and dinner is expensive and creates expectations. Whereas if he comes to see me, I’m expensive but they don’t have to call me the next day or guess about how the evening is going to end. And, of course, if he would like some company over dinner that can be arranged too.”

“Most of all: for all my dates, but particularly the younger guys I am all about “no drama”. I don’t want to marry them, get promoted, get hired: I’m there for their good time. When that’s over I’m gone.”

“I like it when any of my clients call again. And I do have regulars; but a lot of the younger guys are still out exploring. Sometimes, when I have been with a guy I’ll realize that what he is really looking for is a redhead or a fetish girl. I have a little book with a lot of girls in it and I refer my clients out. They appreciate it and. of course, the other girls will try to reciprocate. Call it a “good dates list”.

Kali: GamerGirl and More

Convenience and predictability are certainly two reasons why younger men visit escorts but, as Kali, an escort working in Seattle told us, there are also a few slightly more complicated reasons for this trend.

“It is funny when you think about it. We live in the era of ‘hook up’ culture. People have Tinder on their phones and there are dozens of great clubs and bars in Seattle where lots of young guys and pretty girls go to have fun. But here I am, working six days a week, with at least half my clients single and under 35.”

“Part of the reason is that there are a lot of guys who make great money, have nice condos and cool cars but they are, frankly, nerdy. They don’t do all that well with social situations. Some of my younger clients are just really shy. Others are simply awkward.”

“A lot of my younger clients work in tech – they build games or code little pieces of big projects. I actually am a bit of a design geek myself, and I take great care to craft my ads and my website to attract guys in this industry. Why? Because they are super smart (in a way that I find interesting) and are usually absolutely no trouble.”

“It is a bit of a cliché to suggest that these guys are hopeless with girls. But a lot of the time they just don’t quite know where to start. Or the sorts of girls they meet playing World of Warcraft or going to hacker’s conferences, are not the sort of girls they want to fool around with. Plus, a lot of the time, I see guys who would never have the confidence to talk to me if they met me in a club or a bar. And, truth be told, they are not at all the sorts of guys who go clubbing.”

“I try to make my ads sound smart, friendly and non-intimidating. I have a little fun with them: “Hot girl, wears glasses, likes to talk about WOW, play board games and be your perfect girlfriend experience.” You don’t have to put much in the ad for it to stand out as a “nerds welcome here,” signpost. They get it.”

“Of course I still see a lot of older men, but if I have the choice, I really like seeing my younger, nerdier, guys. They are so intelligent and many of them are really, really, grateful.”

We asked Kali if her dates for young nerds were different from her regular dates. “Sometimes. The big thing about these guys is that they are usually a bit shy and intimidated the first time they come to see me. They really don’t know what to expect.

“Also, the second thing, which is huge, is that they have all grown up watching porn on the internet. In fact, for a lot of my clients, that internet porn is what they think intimate adult encounters all go like that. And that intimidates them a lot. They sometimes think that because I am a professional, I will demand double reverse cowboy positioning five minutes after they walk in the door. I try to get rid of that idea in the initial phone call when the session is booked. But I still have to sometimes really calm my younger clients down.”

“Once they realize that I am pretty easy-going they relax and we usually have quite a lot of fun. As I said, many of my clients are really smart and successful and some of them are very funny. If they were just a bit more confident, they would do great out in the dating world.”

“The other group of younger guys I see are basically managers at tech shops around town. Some of them are married, most aren’t. They come to see me because they are more than a little paranoid.”

“Everybody is so connected now. And there are a lot of rules – written and unwritten – about social interaction. These guys are heavily invested in their careers and this makes dating complicated. They can’t date anyone at the company they work for, because sexual harassment is hiding under every rock. They can’t date anyone at any company their company competes with, because there is the whole corporate secrets thing. And, they all work stupid hours and so they have a hard time maintaining any sort of relationship.”

“So I am an easy solution. I don’t work for any company, and I can accommodate weird hours.”

“Even though these guys are young, they are incredibly stressed. You can hear it in their voice when they call to book. So, they are a lot more receptive to a massage or to an atmosphere of candles and soft music to begin the process of relaxation for their date. I think a lot of them see visiting me as pretty much the male equivalent to a girls’ day at the spa; which is fine with me. It’s probably the only time–day or night–that they turn their phone off for an hour.”

“The managers become regulars really easily. If they are single, they usually have more money than they can think of things to buy – I help with that. But what they don’t have, is anyone who they can just relax with. Even their dates are run like job interviews.  And likewise, he is being interviewed for relationship/marriage potential.”

“When they come to visit me, I let them talk about work if they want to, but I encourage them to tell me about their vacations, their cars, the boat they want to buy, instead. You can see them mentally down shifting.”

“With younger guys, you don’t run into the performance anxiety you do with guys in their later forties or early 50’s; quite the opposite, in fact. Although I admire men who try to do their best! I will usually point out that the “activities between consenting adults” is not a competition.”

“I have two dates I do a lot. The first is what amounts to a way of filling in time before flying back to wherever the gentleman has flown in from. My condo is a lot more pleasant than the waiting rooms at SeaTac. Most of the tech road warriors fly out on Friday afternoon or evening and I can often have three dates starting at noon and running through to six.”

“The other date is the deal-making celebration, or corporate function “arm candy” with a happy ending situation. It’s a great chance to get dressed up, eat well, listen to the inside details of how a deal got done or a patent was won, and then up to the suite for some intimate celebration. I do enough of these sorts of dates that I think some of the caterers and bar staff have begun to notice.”

“Dates like this are pretty free-form and you can end up partying pretty hard with guys in their 30’s. Which can be exhausting and a little awkward; because while my date knows I am a paid companion, his buddies don’t, and they often want to keep the party going very late indeed. But I can usually manage to remind my client that there is more fun to be had on a more private basis. (And yes, I have, on occasion, provided fun for a couple of men when my secret is out. It takes a lot of finesse to handle well, but it is very, very lucrative.)”

So, in general, younger men are turning to escorts because of the nature of life and relationships in the modern age. In so far as technology has simplified life in so many great ways, it has also speeded up the pace of everything and made other aspects of personal life much more complicated. Escorting is an old-fashioned business. Younger men, have found the perfect antidote to tech frenzy.

28 | THE PROMINENT CLIENT

Escorts at all levels of the profession will, from time to time, have a client who is prominent: a celebrity, a rock star, a politician or a famously wealthy man. And while each are likely visiting the escort for some of the same reasons as the rest of her clients, their visits will bring up new and sometimes complicated issues. However, a girl who can handle the perils of prominence will be well paid and, in some circumstances, gain significant numbers of referrals.

The whole prominent client world of escorting can be divided into two mutually exclusive spheres: the first is what one might refer to as the “party” scene made most famous by Tiger Woods’ dalliances with “party girls” arranged by various clubs in Las Vegas and in other cities around the US. We’ll look at that sphere another day but the main thing about it is that the venues in which party girls often operate is public or semi-public. Girls, some of whom are escorts, are arranged by clubs and venues for the entertainment of their more famous guests for publicity purposes. The other sphere is exactly the opposite. It is private or semi-private and the name of the game is discretion.

NBA stars, NFL players and hockey jocks are famous for road trip shenanigans.  Every city in the NBA, NFL and NHL – not to mention Major League Baseball – has bars known as the places the boys go for after game fun. It is a very public thing and if some of the girls are charging for their services, it is not a big deal. The boys are expected to play hard and party hard.

US Senators, the CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, Box Office Stars, not to mention Middle Eastern Princes and the leaders of foreign political parties, are all burdened with societal expectations. So is your local mayor or a member of a Congressional staff. And where a US Senator can usually bluff his way out of an escort issue, such issues are fatal for mayors and staffers.

For powerful men, a visit to an escort creates a risk beyond their wife finding out. They have to be acutely aware that any publicity attending to their proclivities sets them up for exposure and a huge potential downside.

Who is High Profile? And How Can an Escort Tell?

The odd thing about high-profile clients is that most of them are actually fairly unknown. It sounds contradictory, but the fact is that there are really very few people in the world or in your country, state or city who are instantly identifiable. However, there are a lot of people who believe, rightly or wrongly, that they are indeed somewhat famous.

For an escort, the fact that a name might be familiar to her does not automatically signal a high-profile date. Rather, it is the potential client’s self-identification as high-profile which will determine how he expects to be treated.

Clients quite normally look for a degree of privacy when they see an escort. They may be reluctant to give their real names even though they are not in the least a celebrity. So the only sure guide an escort has, is if her prospective brings up his profile directly.

Booking and Screening

From the prominent client’s perspective, the risk begins when he browses a website looking at ads or looks up an escort’s website. The problem being that internet activity creates records, as do smartphone and cell activity.

Knowing this, an escort who entertains prominent clients has to recognize that the initial point of contact may be more than a little untraceable. It would be foolish in the extreme for a serious politician or a major CEO to use his business equipment or email to contact an escort.

Faced with this, a careful man might opt for a “burner” phone or a computer unassociated with him. Which is good for him but not so brilliant for the escort who prefers to do a bit of screening before accepting a date. After all, the very point of a burner phone is to hide identity which is exactly what the careful escort needs to establish.

In some cases, simply knowing the potential client’s name allows a girl to be pretty confident that if the face at her door matches the face on her Google search, basic identity has been confirmed. However, there are other prominent men who will want to hide their identity and whose name – even if they are willing to give it – offers no serious indication of who they are. Quick, name the CEO of the 27th largest Fortune 500 Company or the 9th ward councilman in your city.

Add to this the fact that many of the high visibility clients an escort might see will be very reluctant to give their real name on the phone or by text or email. What recourse does a girl have then? Where basic identity can’t be confirmed – regardless of how potentially lucrative a date may sound – it is extremely unwise to see the client. However, there are creative ways around this.

The fact is, that while the escort may not know the client, he has access to her information otherwise he would not be calling. The simplest way to begin to confirm identity is to arrange a public rendezvous in a seemingly spontaneous situation. (Chances are the high-profile client will be reluctant to go for a pre-date drink.) All very cloak and dagger, but arranging to be at a location – say a newsstand at a set time - allows a girl to set eyes on her potential date. More importantly, because you probably will not recognize him, a quick pass of a discreet envelope with his name and particulars including the cell he is using will give a girl his name without compromising security.

Or something as simple as a postcard or note through the mail can provide the details needed to do a quick check.

Some high-profile clients will not actually do the booking themselves. Not for nothing do they employ confidential secretaries and personal assistants. Some of these people are profoundly professional and will, while protecting their principal, provide reasonable information which can be verified. And some will be so unprofessional as to demand a cut of your fees.

Assuming that you are dealing with a professional, he or she will understand your need for verification and will usually have the means to ensure that the principal’s identity can be checked. However, a degree of caution is still very important. Make sure that in the course of the conversation with this third party you stick very close to the “compensation is for time spent in companionship” script. After all, you don’t know who this person is. Ensuring that you have a call back number at the State Legislature or City Hall is important. (Generally, if a person calling on behalf of a high-profile client asks for a cut or other consideration that is an excellent time to hang up.)

Assuming you can verify the client’s identity, the date can be set. But that may only be the beginning of the process.

In-Call or Out-Call

From the high-profile client’s perspective neither in-call nor out-call offer perfect security. But each can be made more secure.

There are two elements to security: the physical security of the high profile client and the avoidance of publicity. The former, depending on the status of the client, may mean that the escort’s background is checked. This is actually common practice because serious security takes no chances. In addition, a bodyguard will likely be standing outside the door, and a car waiting. Avoiding publicity, on the other hand is mainly about making sure that no embarrassing or incriminating links between the client and the escort are left after the encounter.

For an out-call situation, control of security will be largely in the hands of the client. The most effective way of getting a girl into a high-profile client’s hotel room is to provide a legitimate excuse for her to be there. Probably the classic is the delivery of documents. Someone delivering papers to a business man or a politician can go without notice. And it is unexceptionable for the high-profile client to have the person bringing the documents come into the hotel room while they are being reviewed.

To make this work, an escort can be expected to be asked to dress in business attire – which means leave the super high heels in your tote. Discreet make-up and, if you have one, a briefcase completes the ensemble.

The document delivery may be suggested by the client or the escort can “solve his problem”.  In either case, the “solution” needs to be agreed upon up front so that the front desk is alerted and so that any security that the high-profile client may have will be expecting you.

The fact is that most luxury hotels have video monitoring so any unexplained entry to the hotel suites may well attract unwanted attention. Far better to have a solid, legitimate, cover story.

Just getting into the client’s room is most of the battle. However, it is in the nature of high-profile clients that they are busy and people want to see them. And those people sometimes overstay their allotted time. An escort arriving at her client’s room should be prepared to excuse herself if her client is in a meeting. Easy to do with the “documents” cover because she can either leave the documents and indicate she’ll be back to discuss and pick them up when her client is free or she can take the documents and say they can meet later – “Give me a call”. No harm, no foul.

The in-call is somewhat less fraught for the escort. She just needs to be where she says she’ll be at the appointed hour. It is up to the high-profile client to make it possible to meet. However, for the in-call to work, the escort has to have an accommodating space in a good area with decent security.

However, the fact that the client has made it into her apartment may be just the beginning. The big worry for a high-profile client in this era of smart phones and camera-equipped laptops is that an unscrupulous escort may record his romp. Yes, it might be a bit paranoid, but it is not unrealistic.

A good way to meet this concern is to address it right from the start. As the escort is becoming acquainted with her high-profile client at the start of the date, she should tell him that “my laptop is over there and it is shut down. Here is my cell which we can turn off.” That will usually assuage any worries, but for the truly paranoid, a look around the apartment before anything compromising takes place gives an added sense of security.

Ultra VIPs

Who knows when the President of France or a rock star might call?

In fact, there are many men whose status and wealth are such that they travel with protective units and access is rigidly controlled. Most escorts are never going to deal with this ultra VIP market, but in some cities – New York, London, LA – they may.

Add to that the phenomena of the “entourage” for celebrities, sports heroes and entertainers, and the pool of potential clients who travel with a “pack” is non-trivial.

Protective units, if they are properly trained, will actually be very useful for the escort and her client. These people are experts at getting their principal in and out of where ever he needs to go. They are also very, very discreet. They are not paid to wonder about why their principal wants to drop by some girl’s condo at midnight; they are paid to make sure he does it securely and that usually means discreetly.

The entourage is a whole other thing. By definition these are not professionals, they are the guys the celebrity likes to hang with and party with. They are exactly the opposite of a protection unit and will, unfortunately, make it more difficult for your client to preserve his privacy. Worse, an entourage actually decreases an escort’s security because once the party gets going, she may become “fair game” for the pack.

For some escorts, the idea of partying the night away and getting a nice envelope of cash along with the party favours and Cristal is the very essence of la dolce vita. For others, it is well outside their comfort zone. The point being that when an entourage date is on offer, a wise escort either embraces the party or walks away.

Money

Taking care of a prominent man, once the logistics and the paranoia are out of the way, can be as enjoyable or as tedious as any other date.

When dealing with the rich and/or famous, the escort is not only paid for her company, but for the added time, hassles and risks she incurs to ensure the success of this particular encounter. Since screening and booking time, as well as prep time, for a date are always factored into an escort’s normal rates, these fees can be considerable when dealing with a high- profile client who has special requirements to ensure his security and anonymity.

The escort also has to consider her exposure in the event that her high-profile client is “found out”. Having your picture splashed across the front pages of the tabloid press as “Mr. X’s paramour” has many downsides and few, if any, upsides.

Adding a premium to your rates for prominent clients is both fair and plain good business acumen.

Ongoing

Once you have had a first date with an eminent client, assuming all goes well, the client may want to see you again. Having a regular is always a good thing in this business but with high-profile clients there can be issues.

First off, because prominent men are under more scrutiny than the rest of us, patterns are much more easily noticed. While it was considered perfectly acceptable for one of the French Presidents to be “unavailable” one afternoon a week, for politicians and business executives in America this is not really an option.

Second, while a cover story like the “document drop” is great once, it will quickly break down if used too often. This means that the escort and her client need to come up with something which can explain multiple encounters. One which can work well is the “secret” ghost writing assignment. The nice thing about writing is that there is no fixed duration for a book’s production. And not every book comes to fruition.

Third, as Elliot Spitzer will tell you, the money trail of a prominent client can be damning. Regular cash withdrawals, bank transfers or credit card charges will all begin to point in the escort’s direction. Therefore, as important as a carefully planned strategy, a solid cover story is essential.

Finally, for prominent men, any escort encounter is a significant risk. Multiple encounters with a variety of girls redoubles the risk with each encounter. In actual fact, it makes a great deal more sense for a high-profile man to have a mistress than to visit escorts. A proposition an ambitious escort might very well be offered after a successful encounter. Ah, those French presidents knew a thing or two.

29 | Event Escorting

There is a wonderful legend which surrounds events like the Super Bowl, the Olympics and the major parties political conventions: as legend would have it, escorts from all over the United States, and indeed the world, flock to the cities where the event is being held, whereupon they triple their rates and make out like bandits.

A business savvy escort will realize that these mass events are not actually as target rich as they might first appear. After all, political conventions and Super Bowls are intensely social events and the people attending are usually more interested in the game or the politics than the pleasures an escort can bring. Then there is the fact that these big name events happen once a year or, for politics and the Olympics, once every four years. Not really facilitating building a business around.

The Real Events

Any city of any size, plays host to conventions, often hundreds of conventions, every year. Here is the schedule for October at one facility in Vancouver:

-Canwest Horticulture
- UNFI Canada West Table Top Show
- iTech – The IT Infrastructure & Cloud Services Conference
- Geological Society of America Annual Meeting & Exposition
- Rock n Roll Half Marathon
- Health & Fitness Expo
- Canadian Cardiovascular Congress
- Localization World

Checking the numbers, these conventions/conferences will bring 30,000 + people to the city for two to five nights. Many will be on expense accounts. Many will have their hotel paid. For a few days, they will have money in their pocket and be “away from home”.

Checking the event schedule for your town or city is a Google search away. More importantly, an event means new clients are coming to your city. Now your job is to market to them.

Thinking Ahead

There is little point in trying to market your escort services to convention goers the day of the convention. Sure you can, and perhaps should, have a targeted ad up in the print and electronic media (and on your website) during the convention, but the real work takes place a few weeks before the convention begins.

A business man in a new city looking for company for the evening has a wide variety of options – Back Page ads online, local alternative papers, agencies and even, in some cities, the good old Yellow pages. And those clients can be quite worthwhile for an escort looking to fill her “book”.

However, a potentially more lucrative class of client are gentlemen who, upon deciding to attend a particular event, then decide to have one or two evenings with an escort during the course of that event. These potential clients are not impulse buyers. Instead, knowing that they are going to be in a city for a convention, they like to book ahead to ensure their nights are well occupied with the escort of their choice. And, that escort can be you!

Reaching out to convention-goers is difficult; but you must make it a point to be easily found by a gentleman looking. And you can target the conventions you want to find clients at.

Look at the list above; there are three conventions which will attract well-heeled clients to Vancouver: the iTech conference, the Geological Society and the CardioVascular congress. Maintaining focus on these three events allows a girl to narrow down her targeting with precision.

Targets chosen, the forward- looking escort considers what services to offer. Where can she make the most money? Is having a full evening booked by one client more lucrative than setting up a number of hour or two hour encounters? Do the math then plan your objective accordingly. A significant advantage to booking a full evening means that you are less likely to deal with last minute cancellations or no-shows – especially if you are clever enough to get a substantial deposit.

This type of booking needs to be sold as a premium, luxury, service. Which means that a girl who wants to attract event-driven clients, needs to have a delightful evening planned.

Finally, if you want to focus on events escorting, you need to be exceptionally well organized. You need your marketing on the net at least two months before the event and you have to be able to swing into action well before the evening in question to make the reservations and arrangements which will create a memorable night for your client.

Marketing – Welcome to the Internet, Again

First off, you need an attention-grabbing ad. When including a description of what you are offering it needs to have a set of hooks which will tie it to the event you are targeting. Initially, you are really aiming at the Google spider rather than a real person, so pay attention to the key words you want to be returned under.

“Escort” may be what you want your prospective client to be looking up. But it needs to be tied to location (as in your city) and more specifically, where you are in that city. You’ll want to mention the hotel if that is the venue for the event you are targeting. And, most importantly, you will want to mention the event itself. Plus, and this can make a huge difference, put the address on the page which is the address of the event. Last but not least, offer a “XYZ Conference Courtesan Evening Special”. Guess who’s going to call, you clever thing?

This is the “copy” which you will be using to attract and close the convention goers you are looking for. Now, you must strategically get it out in the world so that your escort brand will turn up for your city and, indeed, for the target conference.

First, on your own website, make sure that there is a page with this copy on it headed with the above mentioned tag, (“XYZ Conference Courtesan Evening Special– Vancouver”). That page is going to be the focus of your efforts to promote your services to the convention attendees.

Next, set up a Blogger.com free blog for Escort.XYZconvention.Vancouver.blogspot.com. For the three months leading up to the convention, do one or two entries a week on that blog. They don’t need to be long. Something like, “looking forward to entertaining gentlemen at the XYZ convention, October 25, Vancouver.”

Make sure that this blog is attached to a Google+ account and an email address which forwards to your email. All of the links in the blog posts should go to your “XYZ Congress Courtesan Evening Special” page on your main website.

Use your already existing Twitter and Facebook accounts to promote your convention activities as well.

The earlier you can set this internet push up, the better. Google can take a while to index pages and make the connections which you are counting on. Starting three months before the convention is good, starting six months ahead, is even better.

The objective here is to have a lot of different links from different places pointing at your escort brand and attaching it to the target convention.

Now, closer to the convention date itself, it makes a lot of sense to start advertising your convention special in places like Back Page and on review sites. Here the logic is very straight forward: your prospective client knows he is going to the convention. He sees an ad for a companion which mentions that convention, and he will, at the very least, click on that ad out of sheer curiosity.

A Note On Pricing

If you market extensively to the convention trade, it makes sense to charge accordingly. There will be clients who will want a discrete appointment at their hotel room or your apartment; as well as those with no qualms about being seen on the town with a pretty girl. For showing these boys a good time, putting together a package of say, a drink in a hip bar, then dinner at a great restaurant, followed by a sensual nightcap, perhaps at your place or his hotel room – you can charge a premium rate and be booked for many hours.

When you are considering pricing, make sure to allow for your own prep time and expenses. Note as well that for large conventions, exclusive escorts are often booked well in advance. Many clients think that a shortage of higher-end girls might occur during the conference and so they get their pick of girls by acting early.

Booking

The great advantage of an event booking is that it is relatively easy to verify the client. For a careful escort, a couple of calls during the booking phase can confirm identity. As well, it is worthwhile to know where your prospective client is staying even if it is not going to be an out-call date. A good hotel is an excellent reference.

Because you are making a multi-hour commitment, you are going to want to ensure that the event client actually shows up. Charging a booking fee or taking a deposit is a great way of making sure the client has skin in the game – 20% on booking is reasonable and high enough that your prospective client is not likely to miss your date.

Make sure you have a PayPal account so that there is no difficulty in having the money transferred. Bank transfers will work as well and, if the client wants the anonymity of cash, there is nothing the least bit wrong with FedEx-ing a book with Presidents (or the Queen) as a bookmarks.

Make sure that you have your client’s contact details – a safe email, cell number and texting details – and make sure you know how he wants to be contacted. If he books more than a month in advance, it is advantageous sending him an email a few weeks before the convention confirming arrangements and saying you are looking forward to his time in your city. Your event escorting encounter should be something your client really anticipates. You want to be the highlight of his trip.

His Own, Private Event

Conventions and conferences are work. Hard work. Standing in a booth all day pitching an investment or a tractor tire is exhausting. So is sitting in a room with hundreds of strangers listening to six PowerPoint decks being read in monotones. The food is generally mediocre – steam table hotel food looks great but tastes industrial. And, most of all, conventions are indoor, air conditioned, re-circulated air events with nothing but artificial light and ersatz music over the hubbub of whatever the convention is about. The social activities of a convention are expressly about “networking” and the whole idea of a cocktail party is to sip a weak drink for an hour while meeting sixty people in sixty minutes and exchanging cards. Worse, many of the higher fliers at conventions also have the stress of doing their own presentations or being responsible for the success of a corporate presence which may have taken a year, and a lot of money, to put together. While your client may think he is rewarding himself with an evening of escort sex, the fact is that he is giving himself permission to step away from the over stimulation of the event itself.

Once your client has booked your services for the evening, it is time to spring your brilliant plan into action. Meeting your client at a café or bar walking distance from the convention center makes sense. It will give him what may be his first fresh air of the day. Make sure that it is nearby enough that he actually walks the block or two rather than hopping in a taxi. Everyone now has expert mapping and navigation on their phones so laborious directions aren’t necessary on your part. You role is to get there before he does, and, it goes without saying, look gorgeous.

Once introductions are exchanged, nip into a little café. Conventions have coffee (of a sort), but a real espresso or a cappuccino at the start of the date will be a welcome change of pace and an easy ice-breaker. Over coffee, you can get to know your client, establish a bit of a rapport with him, and put him at ease. You can also assess his relative level of exhaustion and be willing to adjust the evening’s plans accordingly at his request.  Finally, a discreet envelope will change hands. A gracious thank you, and an elegant transfer to your evening bag is all that is required. If you really don’t trust him, you can count it in the ladies room. And, on the other side of the coin, there is every chance your client will be worried that you might make a dash with the cash. It really is a matter of judgment and trust on both sides.

Now energized with caffeine and your infectious enthusiasm, the business aspect of the day quickly fading, your client will be ready to submit to your charms and plans. If the weather is fine, a walk about, ideally past a few bits of “local colour” but not too far, will be fun and stimulate the appetite for the wonderful restaurant you have chosen (and made reservations for weeks ago).

A few notes on restaurants. Obviously, if dining is part of the evening’s itinerary he has requested when booking, it is a good idea to ask what he likes to eat and also what he doesn’t. Firmly establish what the budget is for the meal, and don’t go beyond it. If he is a foodie, you might even email a link of the menu to get his approval beforehand. If you are contemplating a spot that is new or unfamiliar, go for drink or appys to check it out for yourself. The cuisine is only one factor. What you are really looking for is a maximal contrast to the noise and institutional cooking of convention land.

Just as the food and the ambience of the restaurant needs to be in sharp contrast to the convention world, you as your client’s companion of the evening, need to provide a relief from the business-driven world of the conference. In particular, you will stand in sharp feminine contrast to the combative arena of the convention floor.

Remember that your client is coming to you from a full immersion in the odd social dynamic of a convention or conference. A dynamic which was odd a hundred years ago when these sorts of gatherings were typically all-male affairs, but even more perplexing to traditionalists now that women are not only included, but, in fact, often run the conferences. Where conventions were once “hail fellow well met” affairs with a bit too much booze and a lot of ribald jokes as males bonded, now they are politically correct showcases of inclusiveness and appropriate business behavior. The good old days of male bonding rituals are over and the danger of a group hug or a team building exercise can never be totally discounted.

Against this backdrop, a pretty girl in a lovely dress who understands the world from a different perspective than her corporate counterpart in the pantsuit, is to a conference weary businessman, a welcome relief and a wonderful luxury. Again, while intimacy will certainly be on the agenda, an escort date of this sort requires a high degree of personal and social confidence. Your character, manners, and conversational skills are at the forefront of the encounter rather than solely sexual prowess.

Taking time to look your best will enhance your confidence. While sexy is certainly an option, feminine elegance is a wiser choice. Conventions are all about top volume, bright colours, relentless changes, sensory overload – dinner with a beautiful woman in a simple, but perfect, dress, is the exact opposite.

So, as you contemplate your outfit, hair and make-up, choose understated. A little black cocktail dress with sexy underpinnings is failsafe. Sheer black stockings are never wrong. Nor are small diamond stud earrings or a few stings of pearls (and stunning together). An artful but light hand on the make-up, with a classic red lipstick, is all you need.

Conversationally, the poor man may very well be talked out. Conventions are all about talking. However, an insightful escort will know that there is a difference between the endless “pitch” on the floor of a convention and speaking with an engaged listener. The Japanese Geisha, who rarely had any sort of sexual encounter with their clients, understood the art of listening well. Simply giving your client the encouragement of your attention and a few prompting questions will let him unwind.

A good dinner, excellent wine, charming company, and you will have a happy, replete, client to take back to your place for a nightcap and such activities as may arise between consenting adults.

An Island of Calm

Event escorting can be a lucrative business move for a full-time escort or a profitable sideline for a girl who is more of a “sometimes escort”. A bit of planning, a lot of organization, and a keen sense of your own value, can make event escorting supremely worthwhile.

The beauty of event escorting is that what you are actually providing is respite; a break from the madness which is a convention floor. You are bringing much-needed elegance and a sense of the feminine to the harried road warrior locked in conference combat.

In your little black dress, killer shoes and impeccable grooming, you are the deep soothing calm at the end of a grueling day.

30 | THE ART OF ARM CANDY

Men love being seen with an attractive, beautifully dressed, engaging woman on their arm at social and business events. A pretty girl enhances their confidence and is a powerful status indicator. There is a reason why billionaires are often seen with super models and big name actresses.

For an escort, the arm candy end of her business presents opportunities, challenges and a change of pace from the standard escort encounter. It is a well-paid, hassle free way to spend an evening but an escort has to recognize how to play the role.

Working as a companion at a social or business function means, regardless of what the rest of the evening holds, making sure that you are an adornment to your client. You don’t have to be a super model to make this happen – after all, it is unlikely your client is going to be a billionaire. But you do have to make sure you shine without stealing the show. It is a delicate balance.

Arm candy escort encounters are usually arranged in much the same way as a regular escorting date. A client finds you via an ad or a referral and calls or emails to book your time. Which means, at the outset, you need to be able to give an idea of what your time will cost for the evening.

Pricing Perfection

There are a lot of ways to price social companionship. One is to simply quote a flat rate for the evening and leave it at that. A couple of thousand dollars may not be too much for an hour or two of small talk and a happy ending. Another way is to price the social element separately from the intimate time although this can be a bit difficult to explain in a manner which is consistent with the law. Either way, having a number in mind will make the conversation much easier.

However, along with your fees for the evening you may have your client provide the costs of your outfit. If you’re going to the White House for dinner, it is reasonable to expect your client to buy your gown, shoes and clutch. Corporate cocktails pretty much require a little black dress and some sexy pumps. All of which cost money. If your client is particularly well-heeled, you may be in for the full package; gown, hair, makeup, and nails before the big night out.

Of course, before an escort can dress for an occasion she has to know what the occasion is. Clients can be startlingly vague about the nature of the social function they want to bring the escort to. Is it a formal, black tie affair? Or is it resolutely casual like the drinks and dinner following a corporate gold tournament? For the social escort this is critical information as she needs to be able to dress the part. So, the savvy escort, once a prospective client suggests a social component to a date, asks a few questions. And she prefaces those questions with the fact that to do her job well she needs pretty specific answers.

On Occasion

Once the nature of the occasion and what you’re expected to wear, as well as your fees, are settled there is one other critical item of business to be resolved – who are you? Getting the answer to this question right from the very beginning will make your social escorting date go smoothly. Because whether it is a high school reunion or an awards dinner the questions “And what do you do?” and “Have you known Bob long?” are going to come up.

Here, the social context matters a lot for the social escort. People at high school 20th reunions are all about connecting the dots so a clever escort has arranged a solid back story with her client. Where did you meet? How long have you been seeing each other? are questions which need answers.

Those same questions will arise in different ways in a corporate or professional social context but the depth of the curiosity will be lower. Plus, a back story, for example where the escort is in town on business and was invited “spur of the moment” can cover a lot of ground. At the same time, any story risks opening up the whole, “Oh yes, and what business are you in?” can of worms.

No matter what the occasion, you and your social escorting client need to have the basic back story worked out ahead of time. Just simple things, how long you’ve known each other, where you met, what you do for a living, where you live. At the same time, you need to know a little about your client – what he does for a living, if he’s married and – if he is - why his wife is not there, where he lives. This will save a great deal of embarrassment when you say on the one hand you’ve known Bob for years and in the next breath get his hometown wrong.

(One note on all this background preparation for an escort, this is why you are charging for your social company. Arm candy is not all a girl socially escorting a client is, she has to “sell” the idea that her client is her real date otherwise the illusion he is trying to achieve is destroyed.)

So armed with a great back story, a pretty dress and a clear idea of the occasion, an escort is ready to get ready for her date.

Less is more! No, really. Whether it is the White House or Roosevelt Junior High 25th Reunion you will want to be the most elegant woman in the room not the winner of the shortest skirt or best cleavage award for the evening. Nor do you want to have the most elaborate hairstyle or heaviest make up. You are not being paid to draw attention to yourself.

This is particularly true if your companion of the evening is a good deal older than you are. There will already be a certain amount of backchat about Bob’s “Arm Candy” just because of the age difference. The way to stop that more or less dead is to be every inch a lady.

This translates to inter alia pretty but fairly practical heels, a perfect manicure, clean glossy hair and a real smile. It also extends to perfect manners and a fair bit of social poise. We’ll get to a few manners moves in a moment, but social poise for escorts is a subtle art.

The most basic element of poise is consideration for others: your date, his friends and acquaintances, your host and hostess and the wait and other staff. Simply speaking clearly and politely is a great start. But an escort in a social situation can go well beyond this. Pay attention to the other women at the gathering. Chances are that the men are already paying attention to you. Simple compliments on the lines of “What a lovely dress.” or “You have to tell me where you got that bag?” go a long way to making a great first impression. A bit of deference to age never hurts either. And looking for opportunities to be helpful can work wonders.

As a social escort one of your functions is to reflect well on your date. Which means drinking very moderately if at all, avoiding off colour jokes and, I’m afraid, laughing at the usually dreadful jokes which are a staple of conversation at these sorts of things. And yes, you probably will have to look at the iPhone full of pictures of other people’s kids. Keep smiling.

Most of all, you are there to make your date look great. To that end, it is a good idea to find out why he is going to the particular function. What does he want to get out of it. As a social escort you may be able to help him. If you know he wants to meet a particular person at a business “do” you might go and make the acquaintance yourself and then introduce your date.  On a more expressly social occasion like a wedding or reunion, your role is more likely to be “girlfriend”.  The same rules apply about chatting to women but, at a wedding, you can score easy points by making sure to spend time with the older and much older women in the room. Have a little fun kidding your date about his not wanting to brag about his accomplishments – and then dig in and do brag a little for him.

Manners Maketh the Muse

Manners, as opposed to poise, are more a matter of knowing what to do in a particular situation and executing it flawlessly. Plus, as a social escort, you need to be able to adapt to situations where there are no hard and fast rules.

Investing a little time with an etiquette book – Liv Tyler’s Modern Manners: Tools to Take You to the Top is great and contemporary and the venerable Emily Post’s Etiquette: Manners for a New World is deeply comprehensive – will give you the lay of the land and can be helpful in every aspect of your escorting career. Plus, etiquette books are great fun to read if only to regret how many pleasing customs have fallen into disuse – my most lamented being the personal or visiting card.

As a practical matter here are five tips which will see you through:

- At the dinner table mimic your hostess or the senior lady at the table – no need to memorize the difference between a fish and butter knife – just watch the choices made by your hostess.

- Ladies first, Age before Beauty. Period. Whether it is going through a door, going to your table or to the dance floor the lady is always in the lead and the older lady takes precedence.

- In conversation, agree with what is being said and never, ever, interrupt.

- Please and thank you and excuse me along with the wonderful word “may’ will refine even the roughest diamond. “Please may I have” always beats “Give me”.

- You are the least important person in the room – you aren’t but if you behave as if you are, you will be unfailingly polite.

There are all manner of elaborate rituals when people get together but they all essentially come down to a way for people to get along. From the introductory handshake in the reception line to the parting “Thank you so much for a lovely evening,” the social escort need only imitate the people around her to be accepted and enjoyed. Manners themselves are almost entirely based on social rank and reciprocity. As a newcomer, and as a social escort you will always be a newcomer, you will begin at the lowest point on the totem pole; with a bit of poise and grace, by the end of the evening, people will be asking your date where he found such a delightful woman. With luck he won’t tell them.

Pay Attention

It is astonishing how many wives and girlfriends seem to want to be anywhere but with their husbands or boyfriends at social occasions. Even when they are together with their SO their eyes are darting around the room looking for alternatives and they make their lack of interest in what their date is saying painfully obvious. Part of this is, one suspects, that they have heard all the stories several times before.

As a social escort you’re being paid to pay attention. Not cloying over the top attention, rather the sort of attention which a man enjoys from a pretty girl. During the course of your evening, while you can and should chat with other people, you need to be “checking in” with your client regularly.  A glance across a dinner table or a light hand on your date’s arm lets him know you are there with him and it signals to his colleagues or classmates or relatives that yes, this gorgeous girl is with him.

Escorting is about fantasy and illusion: doing social escorting well means that the client has a wonderful time with an attractive woman and the question of whether she is a paid companion never arises.

What does arise is that the social escort’s client ends up having a wonderful time. He is the center of a delightful woman’s evening and he knows, at the end of the evening, she’ll be saying yes to more intimate activities.

Too Good to Be True?

The Arm Candy date is a delightful change of pace for most escorts. Wearing pretty clothes and spending social time while being paid sounds too good to be true. Which it is unless an escort makes it part of her escort marketing plan.

Paying attention to the events in your city will give you the advertising opening you need. If there is a tech conference scheduled a month away, it is certainly worthwhile to put up an ad like this:

Going to FractionX? Would you like a beautiful, intelligent woman on your arm? I don’t speak geek but I ask great questions. Available for social events and then, perhaps, a bit of unwinding after a hard day.

By naming the function you are narrowing your target market. Gentlemen who are coming into town for the event and may have thought of hiring an escort will realize they could indeed combine business with pleasure.

Make sure your social escorting is a feature on your website. Have a few pictures in a delicious little black dress and, if your city runs to this, an evening dress. Setting up a separate page on your website just for the social escorting side of your business makes a lot of sense.

Referrals are, of course, ideal but they are sometimes hard to come by as a straight out escort. As a social escort, however, even with a happy ending, your clients may well be delighted to tell their friends about the wonderful time they had in your city. Having a business card with your escorting name and contact details is always a very good idea.

Another excellent potential source of referrals are your own regulars. Not for themselves but rather for their out of town clients and business associates. Having the number of a delightful, well mannered, fabulous looking girl they can refer their business associates to is a feather in their cap.  And, in some cases where an escort’s regular wants to land a contract, he might well pay her fees to entertain his out of town guest with no mention of her paid companion status.

Finally, building up a referral network of escorts in other cities may bring you social escorting clients. Take a look for girls you think are offering services similar to the services you offer and send them an email. A good escort referral network will get you dates and will let you recommend girls to your favorite clients when they are out on the road.

In all your social escort marketing efforts it is important to have a consistent message. Words like beautiful and glamorous are great, but so are words like articulate, polite, graceful and friendly. Because, while your social escorting clients will certainly want you to look wonderful on their arm, they want to be sure that you are the sort of girl who they will be proud to show off.

Building up a social escorting business takes time and a fair investment in promotion. It may take a few months to pay off but, as you market your social escorting services, you’ll begin to create a brand separate from your straight escorting service which, in turn, will allow you to charge top dollar for what are often delightful dates.

31 | DON’T GET CAUGHT: A PRIMER FOR MEN

Some men really should not be allowed out the door without a minder. The sheer folly which leads to men getting caught visiting an escort is astonishing. The fact that they are visiting an escort is entirely up to them; but no matter how you look at it, visiting an escort counts as cheating on your wife or girlfriend unless you have her permission and, even then, watch out.

Getting caught cheating - whether with the lovely woman down the street or an escort, drops a man into a heap of trouble. It can put you on the fast track to divorce with the 50% asset stripping and general expense and overall pain. From the wife’s perspective, cheating with an escort may or may not be as bad as ending up in bed with your secretary. But let’s leave that for later.

While the visit to the escort may be the official “crime”, a wife is going to be just as angry at the fact that you were disrespectful enough that she found out about it. In most cases the wife or girlfriend was not actually looking to find out or snooping; she’s found out about your escort visits because you were careless enough to let her. And that is deeply insulting. That a man visits an escort is one thing, that he lacks the respect for his wife to cover his tracks, is quite another.

Let’s start with the basics:

- If you are married or have a steady girlfriend it is a good idea to assume that she is paying attention. She notices things. She has learned your patterns, what you do on Tuesday night.

- She knows what you smell like.

- If you arrive home two hours late and freshly showered she’ll notice. “Escort” might not be her first thought, but the seed of suspicion will be sown.

What creates suspicion can be pretty minimal: unexplained absences, a change of routine, a change in attitude, being short of money, dressing a bit better, being more attentive, being less attentive. In each case, change triggers suspicion.

Suspicion, in turn, leads to alertness and that usually means your wife or girlfriend will be looking for signs and evidence. Evidence can be pretty much anything. The obvious – an unexplained card or telephone number in that little pile of stuff which comes out of your pockets at the end of the day. A quick look at the numbers dialed on your cell phone. Or a look at the browser history on your computer.

As well, calls to where you say you are going to be to remind you to pick up some milk on the way home are quick and easy. If you are not where you say you are going to be it is not conclusive evidence but it is uncomfortable making.

There is no recognized point where you are “caught”. It will vary from woman to woman but the point is that at some point she will have assembled enough evidence, circumstantial or otherwise, which will lead to a confrontation which you will not be able to win. Which is exactly what you do not want because if things get to the confrontation stage, your escort visits are the least of your worries.

An Ounce of Prevention

If you are in a relationship but want to visit escorts, you need to have a plan long before you pay your first visit.

The first essential is to develop a routine which has fixed, specific, gaps in it where you are both not at home and off your cell. Something which is innocent and, ideally, solitary, and most importantly, true.

An almost perfect routine is a twice a week swim. Actually going and swimming lengths for an hour and a half twice a week means that you have eight opportunities to visit an escort every month. It explains why you will look freshly showered coming home from an escort visit and it means you are off your cell for a minimum of two to two and half hours. If you visit escorts twice a month it will also have the benefit of sending your fitness level through the roof. Going for a long run and then to the gym will work as well.

The key thing is to establish the pattern so that your wife fully expects you to be at the pool or the gym a couple of nights a week. Your escort visits don’t raise suspicion because you are expected to be absent.

Once you have a pattern established make sure you don’t get caught by your bank statements or credit card bills. Always pay your escort in cash. She’ll be happy to avoid the hassle of credit cards and cash itself is untraceable. However, if you withdraw exactly the same sum twice a month from a bank account your wife has access to, that will raise red flags. Much better to withdraw smaller, odd amounts on an irregular basis.

A good story and clever cash management does not, however, put you in the clear unless you exercise really precise communications discipline. Your smart phone and computer are your worst enemies if you would like a discreet rendezvous with the escort of your choice.

A browser history filled with escort agency websites, Backpages ads and independent escort sites is pretty much impossible to explain. So are emails or texts to OralAnnie@hotmail.com

Your smart phone records the details on every call you make and receive as well as keeping a browser history of its own. (And with the right software, it will beam its location to anyone who happens to be curious.)

Good communications discipline also runs up against the escort’s very real need to know details about her clients. Most escorts will not accept texts or calls from blocked numbers and they will want to verify your identity.

Some men will use their corporate phone and computers to find escorts and make the necessary arrangements. Depending on your company’s policies and the curiosity of the IT department this is an excellent way to get fired. While arranging a friendly golf game on corporate IT resources is almost always seen as fair ball, setting up an escort encounter on company equipment is, itself, a firing offence and if someone is looking for a reason, this provides ample just cause. Don’t do it.

Stealth

A few bits of intelligence will let you use your regular devices to find and book escorts

- Most modern browsers – Chrome, Firefox, Safari – have a stealth mode. Use it. Essentially these stealth modes turn off browsing history and page cache in the browser. It is not perfect but it means your escort browsing will not leap off your computer.

- Get a second  SIM card for your smart phone. The fact is that having a second smart phone is going to look very suspicious – indeed it is a “tell” that a girl works as an escort – but a second SIM card it tiny, can be locked and effectively gives your phone a whole new identity.

If you only use your second SIM card for your escort booking activities it provides you with a safe number for return calls, a place to store your favorite escort’s details.

- On your smart phone, with your second SIM, set up a secondary gmail account. This should be close to your own name and, if that name is taken, try your.name.private which is usually available. This account should be reserved exclusively for escort activities. With the gmail account you will get email and Google’s SMS/messaging application which allows you to text.

- Beware of syncing. Occasionally, you will set up your second SIM card and requisite Google accounts and, because Google is vast and clever, find that the pictures you take on your phone with the escort SIM card in place, find their way to your regular Google backup gallery. Or in the phone’s gallery. This can be more than a little incriminating depending on your escort’s willingness to engage in a bit of amateur photography. Before using the pieces of your incognito set up it is a good idea to ensure that all of the sync options are turned OFF. And even then, take a few pictures of flowers and see where they end up. Unless you are sure they are not going to your normal accounts it may be best to suppress your inner shutterbug.

Basic cyber-security is only as good as the person using it. Going to the trouble of setting up a private phone and computer system is useless if, even once in a while you forget to go into stealth mode on your computer or call an escort using your regular SIM card.

However, even if you are meticulous about covering your cyber tracks the fact is that people are caught up all the time by little things. The classic example being a scrap of paper with your favorite escort’s name and number on it that you, by mistake, leave in your pants pocket. If your wife does the laundry, you’ll have some explaining to do. Similar mistakes include an escort’s card, an unused condom when your wife is on birth control or a Viagra tablet which went unused. Any one of these items leaves you busted.

A basic precaution is not to write things like escort’s numbers or addresses on loose pieces of paper. Using the contacts feature of the second SIM card is much more secure. But even that might be compromised in some circumstances and here a little bit of subterfuge can save a lot of difficulty.

Entering escort numbers, names and addresses with a simple transformation code is an easy way to create a second level of security. Nothing terribly complicated: Initials and made up last names for names and an add 1 to what is known as the three number prefix ie. 263 becomes 374. It is a very simple thing and it is not going to beat the NSA, but it will keep your escort numbers private in the unlikely event that your wife or girlfriend starts playing with your phone.

Busted

If you take the precautions outlined above you will have to be pretty unlucky to get caught using escorts. But any good plan has a Plan “B” and your escorting antics may, despite your best efforts, be discovered.

When a man is confronted by his wife or girlfriend with his infidelity with escorts, he faces a number of options none of which are terrifically attractive. They range from the lie direct, “What are you talking about? I have never been unfaithful to you in my life,” right on through to full confession.

Obviously the choice of whether to lie outright to your spouse or significant other is one not to be approached lightly. If a man lies about his escort activities and his wife has hard evidence which contradicts his lie, he is pretty much doomed. On the other hand, a full confession in the face of soft evidence or mere suspicion of escort activity ensures that a man is convicted with his own words.

Matrimonially, there is no 5th Amendment. You have no right to silence and, in most relationships, silence is an admission of guilt. So any serious Plan “B” needs to work towards determining how much evidence your wife has of your escort escapades.

One factor in any successful Plan “B” is the knowledge that your wife knows you very well. If you have a track record of evasion and lying, she will assume that you are deceiving her about the escorts. On the other hand, if you “never lie,” that track record is going to improve your chances.

A second, equally important factor, is the very real possibility that your wife or girlfriend is not disclosing all the evidence she actually has. So, when you say, “What are you talking about, of course I’ve never visited an escort. Why would you think I had?” don’t be surprised when she pulls your secret email account with dates and places and amounts.

A third factor is what you think your wife wants to believe. If you are in the midst of a rough patch in your marriage, the chances are your wife is ready to think the worst of you vis a vis escorts, beers with the guys and your abject failure to fix the sink. On the other hand, if all is going swimmingly, your wife may very well want to dismiss her suspicions that you may have been seeing an escort. It could well be that the last thing your wife wants to hear is that she’s right and you have been doing escort dates four times a month.

There is very little you can do about your wife’s present attitude, but there is a great deal you can do to establish a track record and get complete disclosure of the evidence. The track record is nothing more than good manners. A long streak of honesty is not only useful when potentially caught in the escort jam, it is also, indirectly, a good way to keep the marriage on a happy, even keel.

Getting all the evidence requires more than a little finesse. In some ways it depends on your significant other’s line of attack. The simple question, “Are you seeing escorts?” can easily be parried with, “Why would you think that?” which, in its turn is likely to bring the basis of your wife’s suspicions to the surface. They can range from your having forgotten to go stealth as you looked at escort ads, all the way to photos of Miss LaBomBom at the No Tell Motel. Better to know what you are up against.

A more confrontational approach - your wife flat out says she knows you’ve been seeing escorts - can be dealt with in much the same way, “What do you mean?” may sound a bit disingenuous but it gets the conversation rolling and the evidence on the table.

If the evidence of your escort activities is circumstantial, if there is no smoking gun, a partial admission, “Yes I was looking at escort sites, but I never visited an escort.” may work. But make sure you know exactly how much evidence your wife has.

Ultimately your wife may very well have hard evidence that you have been seeing escorts. It is not unreasonable to think you are pretty much hooped when confronted with that but it may not be too late.

So far, if you have been smart, you have not denied seeing escorts. You have avoided the lie direct and the insult which it inflicts. If the evidence is solid your options narrow to confession and a plea for forgiveness, or admission with an explanation. Neither are ideal outcomes.

Both confession and admission need to be as narrow as you can make them: one transgression with an escort is much easier to forgive than a series of escort encounters or a regular visit to a single girl. Again, find out how much your wife actually knows before saying much of anything.

A straight (if narrow) confession of a single lapse combined with a promise never to see an escort again may, if your wife is in a forgiving frame of mind, get you off the hook. It will mean you’ll be watched like a hawk for months, if not years, and that your escort visits will be on hiatus for quite a while; but a single lapse is likely forgivable.

An admission with an explanation and a plan going forward is a much riskier strategy but may be the only course open if your wife has hard evidence of multiple escort encounters. Again, try to keep the admission of seeing escorts as narrow as possible but have an explanation which, while it leaves you looking awful, reassures your wife that your escort activity does not imperil her marriage.

A good strategy is to admit that you have a particular fetish/activity which you find compelling but which you just never thought you could bring yourself to ask your wife to participate in. It does not have to be nasty, just sufficiently embarrassing that your wife will understand how you could not have asked her to fulfill your needs. It is a great deal easier for a wife to forgive your escort encounters if she can see they were the only way you could balance your cravings with your respect for her. It may not be entirely true, but it is plausible and that is all that is needed.

Good planning, a well-established routine, careful cash management and attention to communication discipline should allow you to keep your escort encounters well below your wife’s radar. Having a solid Plan “B” in case of detection will minimize the damage to your marriage or relationship in the event you are caught.

Having escort encounters creates a risk of detection but minimizing that risk is nothing more than the good manners a gentleman always displays towards his wife.

How Not to Get Caught: Take Two

On the other side of the coin, if all this subterfuge seems more Maxwell Smart than you care to be, and according to your ethical code deception does not denote respect, then you first should examine why you are seeing an escort in the first place, and secondly, realize that you would be more credible and honourable to stand by your decisions and actions and take the heat and the consequences if and when the occur.

That means using your cell phone and computer without techno wizardry to conceal—yep, her name and phone number comes up in the memory—and on the history of your computer.  The cover-up is no longer a tangled web of deception that takes on shadows darker than the “crime” itself. Seeing an escort, while not welcome news to wife or girlfriend, is actually not as bad as being a weasel about it.

32 | TEN REASONS WHY ESCORTS ARE NO THREAT TO WIVES

The traditional scene is repeated over and over in households across America. The husband arrives home late. The wife is angry. There’s a fight. He comes up with a lame excuse, she doesn’t believe him but can’t prove anything. She thinks, but has no evidence to confirm, that he is seeing “another woman”. He is, but won’t admit it. The wife starts looking for signs and, eventually, finds them. He’s caught. His wife has found the proof that he is seeing another woman. Now what?

In the big world there are two sorts of “other women”; women who are seeing a husband because they are interested in him; and women who see him on a commercial basis. For a wife who wants to keep her marriage intact, a commercial arrangement with an escort or a mistress is a much better outcome than the discovery that her husband is seeing a co-worker or a girl he met in a bar. In France, where there supposedly exists such a flurry of extra-marital affairs, they actually have a term for a discrete rendezvous in the hours after work: a cinq a sept (five-to-seven).

Alphas Stray

It is a truism that men are not, by nature, monogamous. And this is particularly true of men who are successful. Alpha males – and more than a few Betas – tend to have fairly voracious sexual appetites. While it is certainly possible for a man to keep his marital vows, the fact that he strays may simply be in his nature.

From the wife’s perspective, having a successful, confident husband is deeply attractive – not just because of the material advantages and the potential for great kids – because it means she has effectively won the matrimonial sweepstakes. The downside being that her prince is also more than a little likely to be just as attractive to other women.

For an intelligent, mature wife, the question is not if, but when, her husband strays. And if that is the question, then the answer is damage control. Difficult as it may be for a woman to discover her husband’s infidelity, the fact is that infidelity comes in many guises.

Escorts anecdotally report that the majority – sometimes the vast majority – of their clients are married or partnered. And, given the size of the escorting industry, that means that there is a great deal of infidelity to go around. Most mistresses – in the old sense of that word– namely women who have an allowance paid by a patron for their favours – also tend to have patrons who are married. This is commercial infidelity and a sensible wife will recognize that an escort or mistress poses far less threat to her marriage than a girlfriend or co-worker would.

For escorts, regardless of what level of the business they function at, infidelity is not their problem. It is not even an issue in what is for them, a purely business transaction. They are selling companionship and intimate activity for a fee. From the escort’s point of view, the last thing they want is any emotional or personal entanglement with their clients.

Escorts Protect Marriages

So, here is why a wife should be relieved her husband is seeing an escort rather than having a girlfriend.

- An Escort Does Not Wish to Marry Your Husband – The biggest danger that a wife faces when her husband is unfaithful, is that the woman he is unfaithful with will want to replace her. In other words, that pretty file clerk is not sleeping with your husband just for fun. She has what old maiden aunts would call “designs”.

For a woman who has invested years of her life in a marriage, the last thing she wants is for her husband to trade her in for the girl in cubicle #4. With an escort there is not the slightest danger that infidelity will be anything more than a cash transaction.

- Safety – No married woman wants to be at risk for sexually transmitted diseases. And no escort above street level will willingly indulge in unprotected sex. The problem posed by the girls your husband may pick up in bars is that they are the sort of girls who sleep with guys they pick up in bars. Safe sex is not “optional” with an escort, it’s mandatory. With a one night stand in a bar or at a convention, it may very well be forgotten. One thing a wife can count on if her husband is seeing an escort, is that the escort will be strictly professional.

- A Professional Situation - Whether an escort is seeing your husband on an in- or an out-call basis, she will control the situation. For mid and higher level escorts, personal safety is a paramount consideration. The measures they take for their own safety will also ensure your husband’s safety. This extends well beyond the use of condoms. If a girl is doing in-calls she wants to be physically safe which usually means finding a location which is in a low crime area and which has things like building security and secured parking. In an out-call situation, the escort will be very careful to avoid situations which, frankly, your husband shouldn’t be in in the first place.

- Married Sex is not Escort Sex – As enthusiastic and lusty as a wife may very well be, the reality of marriage is that sex can often become comfortable, predictable, and well, even boring. Perhaps this is why couples are taking to spicing up their sex lives with sex tapes and the like. While there is much to be said for catering to these bedroom antics in marriage, there is also a good deal to be said for outsourcing the more outlandish sexual activities. This very much depends on the couple but a husband who explores his inner sexual athlete with a professional may well be a kinder, gentler lover in the marital bed.

- Fetishes – Men being the wonderful and complex creatures they are, have obsessions. It is not true that women cannot have fetishes, they can, but it is relatively rare for a woman to pursue a particular fetish with the single mindedness a man can bring to the objects of his desires. Again, a loving wife may be very able to cope with her husband’s desire to dress as a French Maid and paint his toe nails; but the problem is that this is almost never what the wife would actually be comfortable with. Plus, truth to tell, seeing her wonderful alpha husband in lady’s clothing or with an improbable object in his bottom, may diminish her respect, if not her love, for him.

Escorts, on the other hand, make a good living from catering to the various sexual diversions of their clientele. There are specialist escorts for every fantasy and these girls have the props and the costumes which play into their client’s quirks. Better still, because their clients are paying for the privilege of being tied up or “forced” to wear high heels or worship Mistress’s feet, there is a pretty clear line between an hour or two of fantasy, and real life.

- The Expense is controlled – Escorts charge a fee usually on an hourly basis. They are certainly delighted to get tips and presents are always acceptable; but at the end of the day, there is a limit as to what a man will pay to play. Similarly, a mistress has a fixed allowance as well as the little gifts, clothes and cash gifts which her patron gives her. Again, a limited expenditure.

Now, from the wife’s perspective, this expense may seem too extravagant and it may indeed impact the family budget. However, unlike the costs of a girlfriend which are effectively limitless, escort fees or mistress’s allowances are predetermined. Better still, because an escort or a mistress is a luxury purchase, if times are tight a husband can forego his adventures in infidelity without significant consequence. No escort phones a regular client wondering where he is this week, and a mistress understands that part of her arrangement is that it can end abruptly.

- Limited Drama – The last thing a wife wants is some strange woman calling at midnight and screaming down the phone that her husband…well, anything really. A wife simply does not want any such calls, emails, or encounters/harassments of any kind. She especially does not with the girl from Cubicle #4 arriving on the doorstep with a love-child or a Writ claiming palimony.

Part of the commercial nature of the transaction with an escort is that it is finite. From a half an hour encounter to a long term “regular” arrangement, the escort is paid for her time and when time is up, the encounter is over. Discretion is part of the package.

- An Escort Will Not Fall in Love With Your Husband – Your husband might fall in love with an escort, but that is usually the last thing the escort wants. If the escort is truly a professional, she approaches her clients with a good deal of detachment and keeps her business and personal life in separate spheres. Of course some clients are much more fun to see and escorts will have favorites; but emotional entanglement is not on the agenda.

Where a man might well lead a girlfriend on with promises of undying love and such like, that will just seem silly when said to an escort. And most escorts take it as a matter of professional pride never to become emotionally involved with their clients.

- An Escort Listens – This may sound threatening to a wife. After all, she listens. But there is a huge difference between what a man is comfortable talking to an escort about, and what he discusses with his wife. Many escort encounters are one off situations.  The client is there for an hour or two and, in the confines of that session, can talk about the things which he feels he needs or wants to talk about without there being any particular consequences. It is, in an odd sort of way, therapy with a happy ending. Most never see the girl ever again.

For many men, having the outlet an escort offers a place where they feel they can talk about the real issues they face in their lives. At home they have to keep up a particular “front”. And even the most understanding wife has - and should have - views which do not necessarily always support her husband’s. An escort is there just to listen, not to judge.

- Escorts Can Restore Men – We live in a society where men are often taken for granted. Even a loving, understanding, supportive wife cannot always be present – as the New Agers would put it – to keep her husband optimistic, cocksure and appreciated. An hour or two with an escort can work wonders for the ever fragile male ego.

Many men, after the first few minutes with a skillful escort, forget or compartmentalize the fact she’s being paid. Instead, they see a pretty woman hanging on their every word and making an effort to seduce them. They cannot help but be flattered by their escort’s attentions and, when the encounter is over, often leave with a bounce in their step.

Escorts are Good for Marriages?

All of which brings up a radical notion, can an escort or mistress actually enhance a marriage? Obviously this very much depends on the marriage and the scenario in which the escort or mistress is being seen.

The biggest issues with a husband straying are two-fold; first, the infidelity itself can damage or destroy a marriage; secondly, there can be a good deal of dishonesty surrounding escort encounters or mistress keeping.  All manner of subterfuge can be employed to keep the wife “in the dark.” Once broken, the trust bond is the hardest to mend.

The core of these problems is a very North American, deeply puritanical attitude toward the proper workings of marriage itself. For most women, their marriage is over at even a hint of infidelity. Their “self-respect” requires the nuclear option pretty much the instant unfaithfulness is detected. Within such marriages, there is a huge incentive for husbands to be deeply deceptive about an extra-marital encounter. (Unless of course he really wishes to extricate himself from the marriage, then infidelity will almost certainly lead to divorce. A cowardly and pathetic strategy that works, but inflicts great harm and hurt.)

In this inflexible marriage stricture, women do not pay much credence to the nature of the extra-marital activity, but that it exists at all is sufficient cause to call in the lawyers and the real estate agents. Sadly, the aftermath for husband and wife, not to mention children, are usually ruinous.

Discovering a husband’s indiscretions is often shattering for a loving and devoted wife. A reaction of restraint - “turning a blind eye” as it were to the occasional sexual shenanigan, is often the wisest approach for a wife not willing to play into the commonplace infidelity hysteria, and in order to preserve both her marriage and her husband’s dignity. As French psychologist Maryse Vaillant put it, “There’s an unspoken agreement: the husband does everything to respect his wife and make sure she doesn’t find out, and she does everything she can not to know anything.”

On the other hand, a husband’s liaison with an alluring woman is much more potentially problematical than an evening with a luxury escort on an out of town business trip. One threatens the marriage; the other is merely an extravagance.

Channeling a straying husbands attentions to escorts or a mistress avoids the potential disasters of a romantic relationship developing whilst ensuring she retains a degree of control over her husband’s philandering. She can, if she has the evidence (read the upper hand), set out her own terms for her husband’s wayward behaviour. Ironically, this may come as a relief to a man who loves his wife and doesn’t want to lose her or destroy his marriage over a bit of “playing around.”

An “out of my sight” rule is a good place to start - with the wife simply asserting that she does not want the potential embarrassment or scandal of her husband’s dalliances making any social ripples, and so, he is not to visit escorts in the city where they live. If he travels, that might well be a different story.

Alternatively, a wife might explain to her husband that if he must see escorts, she would prefer that he see higher end girls in locations where he is sure to be safe. Most wives will stop short of actually picking the girls, but it is not unheard of.

If it is within ones means, perhaps the best arrangement of all is to have your husband keep a mistress (in the old sense of the word that is). This is a mutually beneficial, commercial relationship. And in this case, the benefit extends three ways:  the mistress entertains the husband and is well compensated; he derives pleasure and the macho thrill of seduction and a vital sense of virility; the wife has a deeply grateful and contented husband, and keeps him; and all parties have the advantage of security and discretion.

With some couples, this works wonderfully well. It is for the sophisticated and the emotionally strong, it must be said. Such a triangular arrangement is embodied in this wonderful anecdote:

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning woman comes over to their table, give the husband a kiss, tells him she’ll see him later, and walks away.

His shocked wife says, ‘Who was that?’

‘Oh,’ replied the husband, ‘that was my mistress.’

The wife says, ‘That’s it; I want a divorce!’

“I understand," replies her husband, "But, remember, if you get a divorce, there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, no wintering in the Caribbean, no Lexus in the garage, and no more country club. But the decision is yours."

Just then the wife notices a mutual friend of theirs entering the restaurant with a gorgeous woman on his arm.

‘Who’s that woman with Bob?’ she asks.

‘Oh, that’s his mistress,’ replies her husband.

‘Ours is prettier,’ says his wife.

So, regardless of how a couple arranges their affairs – marriage and otherwise – it is always a personal and private matter to be worked out as they see fit. Life and love are complex, paradoxical, and not for the faint of heart.

32 | Man Talking – The Art of Conversation for Escorts

While many escorting dates end up with activities between consenting adults that is often not the only or even the main reason a man seeks an escort encounter. As the lovely Joni Mitchell wrote,

“He comes for conversation
I comfort him sometimes
Comfort and consultation
He knows that's what he'll find”

Men are both terribly complicated and deeply simple creatures. For an escort the deep simplicity is understood and, in a way, the complexity is simply put to one side but both create the opportunity for conversation and not a little comfort and consultation.

At its most fundamental the escort/client relationship is confidential. Even if a man takes a courtesan to a White House dinner – and it has been known to happen – no one but the escort and her patron have any idea that money has changed hands and that there is a greater than zero chance of intimacy after dinner.

At every level of the business, from cheap and cheerful service providers to mistresses and courtesans, a client is looking to have his needs taken care of quietly and discreetly. The more of those needs a girl can service the more likely the client is to return and the more likely the client is to tip, book longer sessions or be willing to pay more for priority access.

Why Men Come

A man seeking an escort encounter is usually looking for several things at once: first the obvious and I will not dwell on that. Second a step outside his ordinary life.

As an escort a girl needs to realize that much of the attraction of an escort experience is that it is not “every day”. It is clandestine to a degree, transgressive – those marriage vows are being broken along with any number of taboos – more than a little “naughty” in that it flirts with illegality and the possibility of real reputational harm. At the same time a visit to an escort, or from an escort, offers the possibility of a safe, private place in which a man can talk about his needs, desires and fantasies with a woman who, in theory takes a professional, non-judgmental view of what she is told or asked to do.

Just as a surprising number of men ask escorts the old chestnut, “What is a nice girl like you doing in a business like this.”, a surprising number of escorts don’t bother to ask their clients “Why are you here?” Which, as in counseling or the legal profession or medicine, is always the most important question to ask.

Conversationally, “Why are you here?” is an open ended question which is to say that in asking it the escort is not presuming any particular answer. She might get a rather explicit answer from some of her friskier clients but as a general rule, asked kindly, “Why are you here?” gives her client a chance to speak openly about his expectations and desires for the escort encounter.

It is not a question to ask when the client first walks in the door. Rather it is a question which opens up the encounter once the preliminaries of coat and cash have been settled and the gentleman caller is comfortably seated. And even then, a wise escort may make a good deal of small talk before coming to the nub of the matter.

This is very much a “lean in” question for an escort. She wants her client to hear the question and her body language should tell her client that she is interested, genuinely interested, in his answer.

Active Listening

People who listen for a living – from psychologists to focus group managers – develop the capacity to do something called “active listening”. It is a learnable skill and a huge plus for any escort. “Active listening” is nothing more than the listener giving the speaker clues and cues to continue speaking. Some of these are the obvious verbal, “Tell me more.” or “And how do you feel about that?”, some are nothing more than body language – leaning towards the speaker, facially responding to what they are saying – and some are surprisingly subtle: for example, sitting with your arms crossed tends to shut down conversation, putting your elbows to the side and holding one or both palms up looks invitational. Escorts tend to develop great skills reading other people’s body language but it is just as important for an escort to pay attention to her own.

Using very basic active listening techniques and body language an escort can create a safe space in which her client begins to be able to speak comfortably. This is a huge gift to give a client because, as he becomes more comfortable. he is able to relax and actually begin to enjoy himself.

There is an old joke about the egomaniac who says, “Well, that’s enough about you, let’s talk about me.” An escort is not hired to talk about herself, rather, like the Japanese geisha her job is to let her client say what he needs to say.  Many men are effectively silenced – at their jobs they have to be careful what they say, at home, after a long marriage, their wife has heard their stories and their children pay them little attention. The very nature of a fragmented, noisy, distracting, world means that many of an escort’s clients have not managed to finish a sentence in weeks much less have their words attended to.

So while many people mischaracterize men visiting escorts as paying for sex, a better characterization of the escort encounter is that the client is paying for the escort’s full attention. Her willingness to place her client at the focus of her attention for the time the date is supposed to last is one of the hallmarks of a successful escort.

Setting the Stage

A clever escort is careful to set the stage for her encounter. A simple thing like turning off the smart phone ringer and the email alerts sets the mood. Her client, after he is comfortable, perhaps with a refreshment, can see by the escort’s preparations that she is now entirely focused on him. There is nothing more flattering than the full attention of a pretty young woman.

Active listening sets the stage for conversation and conversation lets a client know his companion is actually interested in who he is and what he thinks. Conversation is the engine of seduction and seduction is why some escorts have many regulars and others must be content with random visits from hobbyists.

Without being entirely cynical about it, a savvy escort will try to steer the conversation with her clients to the places they want to talk about. And she’ll tease. After all, in any but the shortest dates, the main event needs more than a few preliminaries. Each of these can have an escalating level of erotic frission; but there is no point in chatting about adult activities until the escort’s client is actually ready. Taking the time to put your client at his ease, to actually ask him why he is there, to find out how his day or week has gone, breaks the ice and tends to ensure that the other activities very much are of a piece.

Part of the art of feminine conversation, and a part which is too often neglected, is that the escort is very much in charge. She takes the lead and sets the pace. Remember that many of the men who can afford an escort’s fees, spend most of their working day leading. They are the “go to guy” at their law firm or in their company. It is pressure which many men have simply internalized. They don’t even notice they are required to be in charge from the time they hit the office door. Other men spend their time selling. And selling, just like leading, is all about taking the initiative, answering objections, closing the sale.

For successful men an hour or two in which they are not expected to be in control, not required to lead the discussion or win the meeting is a hugely welcome change of pace. Simply by asking easy questions and listening attentively to the client’s answers an escort is able to guide the conversation and control the pace of the date.

Can an escort flirt? Of course she can. And she should. At an early stage in a date, as she is leaning in to show how closely she is listening to her client, it never hurts to lightly touch his arm. Nor will it detract from the conversation if an escort, engaged in listening, dangles a high heel or undoes a button on her blouse. If her client comments, so much the better. But a quick deflection with, “Plenty of time for that a bit later.” will pique his interest.

A twenty minute conversation between an escort and her client can easily move from strangers passing small talk to an intimate conversation about what the client enjoys about women. If the mood is set and the fees paid that intimate conversation can move from words to action with the escort leading the way. We will draw a discreet veil over the activities of consent adults and move on.

The Close: From Random to Regular

The end of the encounter, the few minutes of dressing and leaving, are, conversationally, where an escort can go a long way towards converting a onetime client to being a regular. Now, it is a well-known phenomenon that men, having been serviced, often want to scoot out of the encounter or have the escort leave almost instantly. Part of what they are paying for is avoiding the intimacy which a non-escort date pretty much demands after sex. It is an almost physical male response.

A clever escort recognizes this but also understands that her client would be delighted with praise for his performance and reassurance that his more exuberant activities, or his particular desires, were very welcome indeed. The key here is to realize that psychologically, once a client has been serviced he steps out of his fantasy about his escort experience and into a moment of buyer’s remorse. Getting past that moment will create a hugely positive memory for the escort’s client.

In this post-glow conversation an escort’s client is particularly aware that to an escort the earlier activities were “just business”. Which they were but a clever escort will find ways to push that fact to one side while she pursues her own agenda. And what is that agenda?

First off, if an escort cares about reviews, this is the time to ask for one. The straight “ask” will be understood by hobbyists but may have to be put a little differently for gentlemen who may not be part of this world. (In many cases, delightful as getting a review might be, tactically asking a non-hobbyist for one may be a mistake.)

Second, after the encounter but before the escort’s client leaves, the escort needs to decide if she wants to encourage him to become a regular. That is very much her decision at this stage. If she does then being clear is important.

Busy escorts can find it all too easy to end their dates with a “patter”. “You were great honey. I’d love to see you again. Here’s my number.” sounds as if the girl is running an assembly line. Avoiding that sort of mechanical conversation is easy if you have already established a bit of rapport at the beginning of your date.

Getting past the buyer’s remorse is about establishing a connection with a specific person who has a name, a set of preferences and techniques and a life which you have, if you have been clever, gained a glimpse of.

Start with another open ended question, something like, “I just had a wonderful time, what was your favorite thing?” It doesn’t matter what the answer is, as an active listener, you will be ready to follow up with a simple but enticing response, “Perfect. That’s one of the things I just love doing for a man. Next time you are here we can really explore. First times are always a little awkward for me.” And now the closer, “Was I what you were looking for?”

What this sort of sequence does is put the escort’s client in a protective role. She is asking him for his affirmation and most men are terrifically flattered to be asked. Rather than scuttering out the door, many clients will take a little time to reassure the escort that her work was excellent. As they do they are powerfully convincing themselves they have had a wonderful time and that the escort was worth every penny.

Yes, this does take a little while. Call it five minutes rather than two; but it is the most effective marketing an escort can do for herself because now she is converting a onetime client into a regular.

The final close, when with two hands in the traditional Japanese style, you present your soon to be regular with your very discreet card, is simple and respectful – “Thank you so much for a wonderful time. I’m hoping you’ll be able to slip away for a few hours very soon and when you can you can reach me here.”

Never underestimate the allure of a polite, respectful girl asking a man to return and have her again. Especially, when she is wearing little more than a transparent robe. Done well, the little ceremony of leaving will remind the escort’s client that he wants to come back.

For comfort and conversation. Like Joni says.

ESCORTING STYLES

Once you get past the basics how an elegant woman arranges her escorting life is a matter of style and opportunity. Some girls like to escort full time, others will have a couple of dates a month.

Obviously, a girl’s escorting style will determine everything from her income to her advertising. But which style she picks also depends on who she is and where she finds herself.

The key thing about an escorting style is that it has to be an elegant fit for who you actually are. Elegant ladies of a certain age can have a very lucrative escorting business. So can girls in small towns or girls who work full time. The point is to make sure that your personal escorting style is right for you.

33| ESCORTING: LOCAL, NATIONAL OR WORLD-WIDE?

As the pundits like to say, “The web changes everything.” Which is true, but unhelpful. For an escort looking at marketing her brand, the internet is a huge plus—but also a massive time and money sink. So how does an escort market smart?

Along with decisions about what pictures to publish and what services to list on her website, an escort needs to think about her actual market. Local, national or world-wide? The web makes it possible to escort at all three levels, at any number of price points. The world is not only your proverbial oyster; it is your market.

Before the internet, escorts serviced their local markets simply because they had no practical way of reaching out beyond those markets. Now, the moment a girl puts up a website, the entire world can—in theory—find her.

For some escorts, a purely local business is all they want, or all they can handle. Others like to specialize in visiting business men and so will reach out a little further. Still others, especially those who like to travel, may look to an international market. These are choices which any escort can make, the question is why a particular girl will make a particular choice.

High Rolling: Monica Loves New York City

We had the opportunity to chat with Monica G, an international girl based in New York City. She came to escorting from a modeling background. She’s stunning. Five nine, with great bones, a great haircut, and a runway manner.

“I’m not even sure that you would call me an escort, exactly. At my end of the business, it works a bit differently. Much more like modeling, really. Except that I am an independent, which I never was when I modeled. Modeling agencies have the relationships with the clients, and the girls are just booked and sent on assignments. All the money is paid to the agency, and then they pay us a cut.”

“I’ve organized my escort business a bit like an agency representing one girl—me! There are people you meet modeling, higher-end clients and the like, who want to meet me. This would never get past a modelling agency. It just isn’t professional. So, with the web, they can find me themselves. The big difference is that I get paid for the booking and no one else.”

“At the same time,” continued Monica, “I have to have a serious web presence. Clients at my level want to be sure. Between my fees and travel arrangements they are spending quite serious money for my company.”

“Now, the great advantage of living in New York is that a lot of the international class of clients have business in New York regularly, so I can see them without the travel. I used to like flying but after a while it is pretty boring.”

“I’ve developed my website around the New York City theme. International clients want a lot more than a roll in the Egyptian cotton sheets. Or at least mine do, and they are willing to pay for it. I’m not actually from New York, I’m from Maine which is a long story, but I love the city. And I make it my business to know where to eat, where to shop, how to get tickets for a show, the best hidden gems in the city.”

“So, on my website, I spend a lot of time talking about what to do in New York. I also have a public gallery of me in great New York landmarks: the Empire State roof, Wall Street on a Saturday, Central Park and outside The Met. The point being, is to let the client get a sense of me as a New York girl. (Of course I have other series of me in London, Paris and Milan, as well for clients in those cities, or men who want to take me there. The world is a small place.”

“There is nothing NSFW on the public part of my site and none of the text says a thing about escorting or my being a courtesan. It really looks like a model’s site – because that was what it was. I was a bit lucky that I decided to model under an assumed name—Monica.”

“The people who refer my clients to me have the password to the “private” area of the site. I don’t get much traffic, but that is by design. I only want to see a few select men a month.”

We asked her about seeing clients from New York City itself.

“Well, of course I do, but it really isn’t my preferred client base. I like older European men and I target that market. And these days I am also seeing some Chinese clients through a contact in Hong Kong. The trouble is that, at a certain level, New York is actually a very small city. I like to keep my business very discreet and that is a bit of a feat with cameras in virtually everyone’s pocket.”

Business Time: Kim’s Capital Class

135 miles away from Monica’s New York City, Kim works as an independent escort in the New York state capital of Albany. She’s very outgoing and laughs a lot during our conversations.

“New York City is so competitive. I’m a nice looking girl but I can’t compete with girls who couldn’t quite make it onto the Ford Model roster. So here I am in Albany. Which is actually a nice little city and, best of all for an escort, a busy city.”

“People need things which only the state government can give them. So they will drive up for a couple of days. Things like rent and hotels are much cheaper here than in New York so when men come to Albany on business, they usually have a little extra cash, or at least they feel as though they do.”

“So you have the guys from in state and then you have guys who are here to try to sell the State something. They can come from anywhere.”

“I try to reach out a little bit with my advertising. I’ll run it in New York City but also in Boston, Harford, Syracuse and a bunch of other places up in this part of the world. Of course I run an ad for Albany itself, but what I am trying to do is get out of town clients.”

“Albany is a very Monday to Friday sort of place. On the weekends, all the politicians go to their home districts and the government pretty much shuts down. From the escorting point of view, you need to be busy Monday through Thursday because you are almost never busy Friday through Sunday. Which is fine with me.”

“I made a point of getting a really nice apartment in a really safe but hip neighbourhood, not far from downtown.  One of the nice things about Albany, is that there are still great old, brick, buildings with fairly large apartments and a lot of privacy. I found one just off Lark Street which is a very trendy part of town with lots of street traffic.”

“I make a point in my ads of mentioning that I am happy to do out-calls to select hotels. What that really means is I will go to downtown hotels but not the airport, which is miles away. Downtown is ten minutes.”

“The fact I advertise as an Albany girl means I get a lot of traffic on my website from men who know they are likely to be coming to Albany on business. By looking out past the suburbs, I get at least a dozen dates a month which are with guys who book me even before they actually arrive in town.”

“All the out of town clients are businessmen or government types and the best part of being in a government town, is that they usually have to come back several times to get whatever it is they are doing, done. So I’ll often see a client from, say, Boston, four or five times over the course of a month or two.”

“Having an out of town regular is great. These clients know what they want and they know when they are going to be in Albany, so they will book me three weeks in advance. There is something very reassuring about having bookings which stretch out into the next month. And that’s what makes it worth the time to post a few ads for cities outside Albany.”

“The last couple of years, I have also advertised my services in Saratoga Springs which is about forty miles north of Albany during the summer horse racing season. In the summer Albany slows right down because a lot of the politicians take the summer off – well, they say they are going back to their districts.”

“I have a little car and Saratoga Springs is a 40-minute drive away. I only do out-calls there, but I make sure that I am booked for a minimum of two hours to make the trip worthwhile.”

“Of course I do see local clients—but that’s funny too, because I see a few politicians and a lot of staffers who really don’t live in Albany. They come when the State Legislature is sitting, but are at home in their districts when it isn’t. They need to be very careful at home, but in Albany it is a lot easier to take a pretty girl for dinner. I am always a “constituent” who needs the “help” of an experienced politician. And there is a bit of a code with the guys that they “don’t see” what their colleagues may get up to after hours in the State Capital. Suits me.”

“But, to answer your question, my business is more regional than local. About 60% of my clients live out of town. That’s very much the way I like it and I will keep advertising to find those clients who are coming to Albany for a few days of meetings.”

Strictly Local: Jessie’s Beachside Business

At the very opposite end of the scale, we have Jessie, who is a part-time escort in a rather pleasant, wealthy, coastal California city. She is very much the California girl, mid-twenties, blonde, curvy and easy to talk to.

“I only see clients from around here,” Jessie explains. “It is a really good filter. Men who live here on the coast or in the hills behind the city, have made a bunch of choices.”

“This is a hard place to make a living. No one comes here to have a career. The men have already made their money, now they are here to relax, play some golf and, once in a while, spend a little time with me.”

“My whole approach is really relaxed. I mean, I advertise, but only locally and not all that regularly. I am really happy seeing maybe three or four guys a week. Sometimes at my apartment, sometimes at this great, retro, no-tell motel out on the coast highway, or, if I know them, I’ll go to their house.”

“If you really want to know how my business works, it is all about regulars. My perfect regular, and I have a dozen of them at the moment, comes over to my apartment on his way home from golf or tennis has a shower, has a beer and then we have some fun. I’m like the perfect girlfriend: available, hot and delighted if you don’t call for a week or two.”

“This is a small place, so these guys — who are mostly married — have to be really careful. I make that easy for them because my apartment is above a bunch of shops including a sporting goods store and a really popular café. Right on the beach. Can park anywhere and walk into the sporting goods store or the café, and right out the back door and up my stairs. No exposure.”

“I am incredibly picky. I have another job and I go to school part-time, so I am really doing this for the cash income. And I like to party, which is really how I got into this in the first place. There are guys with beachfront houses who like to play cards in the afternoon and have a pretty girl serving drinks in a bikini. It’s a great job, which I still do. One afternoon, a guy flat out propositioned me. Just the classic, ‘There’s another $100 in it for you, for a blow job.’”

“He’d been playing cards all afternoon with table stakes of about $10,000 so I figured, “No way for $100, all the way for $1,000.” I was sure he wasn’t going to pay that much. I was wrong.”

“I still do a couple of card games a month at his house which is three blocks down from my apartment. Great tips and my price is established. Sometimes one of his friends will decide to sit out a few hands, which is money in my pocket.”

“I’m all about safety and knowing your clients and knowing where they come from. I can’t imagine escorting in a larger city or having clients who are just in on business. Well I can imagine it, but I couldn’t do it.”

“I see my clients on the beach or in the same bars I go to. It isn’t awkward at all. I keep my business life separate from my personal life. A lot of my clients are referrals from other clients. These guys are totally relaxed about paying for dates. As one guy said, “Spending a few hours with you is cheaper, and way more fun, than trying to get a date with a girl just like you in a bar and then taking her for dinner a couple of times and then, maybe, getting lucky.”

“I know a couple of other girls in town who do pretty much the same thing. It is a tight little community and we will refer clients to one another if we’re busy. And here’s the thing, I was talking to a client of mine who is a lot older and has lived in the area for nearly all his life; he told me that there were girls doing the same thing forty years ago. “Party girls,” he called them.”

“This place is very conservative on the outside. I mean if a girl tried to work on the street, there would be twenty cops on her in five minutes. But it is also a city which caters to money and some guys with a lot of money like to have pay for play available. Officially, this city has a zero tolerance position on escorts – no agencies and if you try to set one up, you’ll be harassed until you go down the road. Unofficially, the cops have a pretty good idea what I am doing and they know there is no way they can harass me without a lot of my big-shot clients being annoyed. Not a good idea.”

“That’s the great thing about escorting locally, your regulars look out for you; and at a certain level, they have the clout to make sure you are not harassed.”

Global, Local or In Between

How an escort sets up her business and where she sees her market is a matter of choice and confidence; but it is also a matter of business calculation. Escorting is all about finding clients who are eager to indulge themselves with the delights of a willing girl. Obviously price has something to do with this: escorts can only charge what their particular markets will bear.

Money, however, is not the only criteria for escorts to use when they are deciding on their marketing strategy. Each girl has her own comfort zone. While Monica G. is delighted to hop on a plane to meet a client, Jessie wants to stay close to home.

Building an independent escorting business around a girl’s real comfort zone is critical if she is going to enjoy her career. Servicing a wealthy local market or business men passing through can be lucrative and more relaxed than spending a lot of time traveling.

Deciding whether you’re a homebody or an international femme fatale is a critical step in making the marketing decisions which will determine the success of your escorting business. While a weekend in Paris is always desirable, that is not quite the same thing as trudging through airports on your way to work half way around the world.

33 | CREATIVE ESCORTING

How a girl escorts is all about how she sees the business and her own sense of self. Many escorts take a basic, meat and potatoes approach and that can, and does, work, be it ever so boring. Other girls like to explore their beauty and take a model-experience approach. Still others believe they have what it takes to provide the “porn star” experience and charge accordingly. No single approach is right, but some are more lucrative than others, and one is right for you.

There are girls who take a very creative approach to providing companionship to gentlemen. Whether through an abundance of self-confidence or a desire just to be different, these girls take the basics of escorting and turn it into something more.

Taking a creative approach means that these girls offer escort experiences which are unique and more than the ordinary. This means that their marketing and advertising stands out.  We’re highlighting a few of the more interesting girls we’ve talked to, and got ideas on how you can turn your business from ho-hum to exciting.

Erin: Meet Cute, One Night Stand

“I only offer one sort of date,” says Erin who is 29 and lives in a mid-western city. “The client gets to do something many men fantasize about, but most men never really manage to get. He gets to “pick me up” in a bar or a coffee shop or, for fun, just walking along the street.”

“It sounds a bit hokey, and I suppose it is, but it totally works for me.”

“I work full-time during the week and so my escorting needs to be in the early evenings or on the weekends. I live on my own near downtown in a condo I actually own. It has a private entrance and great security so I like to, eventually, bring my date home.”

“What happens is that a guy will see my ad and call or email. I have a very simple booking deal. I charge a flat rate, no hourly, it is for the evening. I pick the spot for him to pick me up and his job is to talk me into taking him home.”

“I like to be safe so the deal is that he gives me his name and a bit of background and any references he has. I check him out. If he’s seems ok then I send him a text with my PayPal account. I want 20% on booking and it has to be either PayPal or a bank transfer. I have a very discreet company name where these deposits show up and that leaves an innocent, but useful, paper trail.”

“What I love about doing my dates this way is that it is just like any other evening where I get dressed up a little and go off for a cocktail and maybe a little dinner. Other than the lovely envelope, that is.”

“Most of my clients really get into the spirit of the thing and will actually send drinks over or, if I am sitting at the bar, strike up a conversation. Of course, once in a while, things can get a little competitive because a civilian will decide that he has a pretty good chance of picking me up, too!”

“I dress to the nines for these little encounters. I want my client to notice I have made an effort and I want him to get that delicious sensation of walking out of the bar with a girl pretty enough and well-dressed enough to attract attention. I always make them buy me dinner. It’s part of the arrangement,” she laughs.

“With the right dress and the right heels and lingerie, dinner can be a highly exciting experience for my client. I have a few restaurants which I can count on to give me a secluded table and I have a lot of fun teasing my date. It is fairly innocent, but he’ll be left in no doubt what’s in store when he gets to my place.”

“All the places I have my pick-up dates in and all the restaurants are within walking distance of my condo. I like a little cool air and a walk to put a bit of an edge on the gentleman’s appetite.”

“The final payment is made by giving me an envelope at the start of the date, so the pleasures of the evening can commence immediately. This really is activities between consenting adults. The nightcap is never a given and, in fact, I have had a couple of clients who did the entire date but decided not to enjoy the consenting adult activities. Their call.”

“The great thing about the “one night stand” date is that my clients usually have such a good time they want to see me, in much the same circumstances, again. Usually a different venue, but the same scenario. Of course we can play it as total strangers or recognize each other; but the game is really the same. My client is going to sweep me off my feet and end up back at my condo.”

“The biggest downside? Well, I have to spend an hour at the gym every couple of days to work off those dinners. But really, there is no downside. Party hats all round and I have to admit, I love the attention.”

Anisë: The Patron Experience

Anisë is thirty-one and lives in Boston. She’s tall, rather willowy, long, straight, natural brunette hair with a soft, almost whispery, voice.

“Did I escort? I slept with men for money, well a man, but I’ll tell you what I did, and you can figure it out for yourself.”

“Basically, I am a painter. I paint big canvasses and I do constructions and boxes and I like to make things which don’t have to hang on a wall, but can be put on tables or just propped up against the wall on the floor. And I do some illustration because I love to draw and use pen and ink. And I sell my work and it does pretty well. And I have some of my drawings up on Etsy and some prints of some of my paintings and that worked pretty well. But the thing is, I didn’t make that much money. I know artists are expected to starve for years before they make it, but I come from a family where you are supposed to be successful. But as an artist, this can take time, and meanwhile there is just not that much money early on in an artistic career.”

“Then I met a man who loved my art, and bought a lot of my work. He always wanted to see my new stuff and he visited my tiny apartment once or twice a month and usually bought a few pieces before they were even finished! We had a certain chemistry, and so we also chatted and laughed and flirted a bit.”

“Then one day over tea, he offered to act as my patron. He knew that what my art business really needed was cash so that I could get a studio and stop scrimping on supplies. He had tons of ideas about how I could really promote my work and get some showings and increase sales. And there was this one other thing. And sharing some intimacy was an easy bargain to make with such a great and generous guy.”

“I could finally concentrate on doing my art without constantly worrying about paying the rent and having enough to eat. So I worked like crazy and one of my paintings—a huge, semi-nude self-portrait went viral. There was an actual bidding war for it! In the end, it went to a famous collector in London for five figures.”

“My patron was a bit unusual, I guess. I think I was really lucky. Our time together got me past the time/money crunch most artists run into. And he stayed my patron even though I obviously didn’t need his support any more. We still went to museums and galleries and we did a few trips to New York together to go to galleries. We really couldn’t imagine our lives without each other, and so, in Paris, he got down on one knee and proposed. Needless to say, I said YES!”

“Most women see the whole patron thing as romantic, which I suppose it is, or at least it was for me; but it isn’t always that way. I know some artists who have done escorting on the side to support themselves. Personally, I think one patron is the best though. I just know I could never handle all the flux of escorting, I needed to be creative even in business, even in my patron arrangement.

“It’s funny though. I have confided my story to a few close female artist friends, and they have each found a patron, though they had to advertise to find him! We’ve all met—hey, we’re artists after all—and when Claire had an opening at a little gallery upstairs on Newbury Street, there were three attractive men in expensive suits all with their wives (my girlfriends’ patrons are all are married; and I am a wife now to my former patron!) all looking at her paintings. Artists and patrons. It was like out of a novel. I think one of the wives knew what was going on, but didn’t say a thing.”

“So, you tell me? Was having a patron being an escort? If getting money for your art also involves sleeping with your buyer does that count? I don’t think I am the first artist to have mixed business with pleasure. Claire’s patron told me that what he really enjoys is having a girl he can talk to about art and books instead of real estate and schools and that sort of stuff. It lets him, even for a couple of hours, enjoy a break from his day to day.”

“So I’m still not sure what I was doing was really escorting; but I was delighted when my patron told me he was a one artist sort of a guy.”

Gwen: Road Trip

“Start with, “I love to drive,” toss a bag in the trunk, laptop, smartphone and off I go.” Gwen was talking to us from Wichita Kansas. She’s 25 and has a degree in psychology. “Right now I’m a blonde, but that might change next time I am home.”

Home is Austin Texas. “This run I’ve been in Dallas and Oklahoma City. Tonight Witchita, then I’ll scoot up to Kansas City for the weekend. Then over to St. Louis and on down to Nashville. Then I’ll head West on Highway 40 to Jackson, Memphis and Little Rock. Texarcana, Shreveport and then home with a few dates in Dallas.”

“Now, some girls call this touring, and I suppose it is, but I don’t see it that way at all. I don’t check into a crappy motel on the edge of town and service guys all day. That’s not what I do at home, and it isn’t what I do on the road either.”

“I like to see the country. Drive the back highways. So I set up my escorting dates where I want to go. Thank God for the internet.”

“It is pretty easy really. I’ll put ads up at places like Skipthegames.com a week or two before I plan to be in a particular city. I see what the response is and book the dates over the phone with a small deposit paid by PayPal or bank wire.”

“The way I work it, I need one date in a city for a night to be breakeven, so if I can book say five or six over two nights, I am making a decent profit while having a bit of a mini vacation.”

“Where ever I am, I try to book a nice room or small suite in an upscale hotel. I dress the part. Usually a dress or suit, stockings and good heels. Yes, you might see me on the outskirts of town pulling into an IHOP in jeans and a t-shirt and walking out of the restroom a business glamour girl. But the change is radical enough that you probably wouldn’t know it was the same girl.”

“It doesn’t hurt that I drive a wonderful, classic, black with red interior, Mercedes 450 SL convertible. It is much older than I am and it just oozes old money and elegance. I get stopped in the street by people who want to know all about my car. Plus it is not at all bad on gas. When I pull up to an old line southern or Midwestern hotel in my Mercedes and a designer suit with a Celine or Chanel bag and take one of their better rooms, more often than not I am upgraded to a suite.”

“In fact, where I can figure out a way to do it, I often try to book a suite. A lady with a sitting room is an entirely different animal than a girl with nothing more than a bed and a couple of chairs. What goes on behind closed doors is none of a hotel’s business, but there is no point in rubbing their noses in it.”

“I’ve been riding my circuits for a couple of years now, so I actually have regulars in most of the places I visit. Staying one or two nights in a city gives you a chance to explore the city and arrange an afternoon date or two. Again, appearing to be a business woman means that if I have a sitting room attached to the bedroom it makes perfectly good sense for a gentleman to call. And, in fact, I have my clients ask for me at the desk and I come down to meet them. You want to project real confidence, the idea that you have nothing to hide. And, of course, tipping well helps.”

“Escorting on the road give me a terrific boost. I’m not sure exactly why, but when I climb in my pretty car and shoot down the highway I become a different girl. A bit more aggressive, very in tune with my surroundings. Plus, this is a business. I am making a substantial investment in time, gas, food and hotels. I want to come home with a lot of money.”

“You learn fast on the road. For instance, I never have more than a few hundred dollars in cash in the car. I have a credit card and a gas card and maybe $300. More than that and all sorts of small town sheriffs can decide you are somehow running drugs and confiscate the cash and the car. I was told by this sweet Oklahoma Sheriff’s deputy who pulled me over going just a little too fast. I didn’t even get a ticket, but when he asked if I had any cash I bragged I had nearly $10,000 with me. I was very, very naive. So I usually buy a bank draft or a prepaid Visa card or five with what I earn. You have to be a little careful because the IRS is a little crazy about cash deposits and they have been known to seize bank accounts.”

“Driving a few hundred miles is incredibly refreshing if you are not in a hurry. I like to reach my next city in the mid-afternoon, drop my car and bags at the hotel, but not check in unless they are ready for me. Then I go and have coffee and explore for a little while. I go back to the hotel to change for my first date—which is usually for cocktails, and then I may have a dinner date a bit later. Three or maybe four, dates the next day and evening, and an early departure the following day.”

“I do charge a pretty good rate on the road. The fact that I am a new face in many of the cities I go to, can attract the hobbyists and I’m ok with that. In fact, if there is a local review board, I will advertise there. And the next time I go through that particular city I’ll put positive reviews in my ad.”

“Doing road trips also means I am never anywhere, even Austin, long enough to really attract a lot of law enforcement attention. It really is not worth the time to try a sting on a gal who is only in town twice a year for a couple of days at most.”

“When you are on the road you meet some incredible people, and some of them are clients. Sure, as a single girl on the road I need to be ultra-careful; and I always am.”

34 | ESCORTING DIFFERENT

Working with escorts I was struck at how many girls, high end to low end, ran their businesses essentially the same way. They wanted to sell their time. They used advertising to find their clients. They had photographs (and sometimes videos) to showcase their assets. They offered incall or outcall service and they were either independent or booked through an agency.

Now, there is nothing wrong with doing what all the other girls in your city are doing. In fact it is a bit risky to be different because you can be wrong. At the same time, if your advertising, photographs and services are exactly the same as everyone else’s then you are going to be competing on price (never a good thing) and where you fit in the world of male sexual desire. If you happen to be a naturally pretty blonde with double D breasts and no waist to speak of, you should do fine with the standard model; but what if you aren’t?

Or, more radically, what if you have very little interest in the standard model for escorts? Now what?

The good news is that after looking at literally thousands of escort ads and talking to hundreds of escorts I can safely say there are more than a few who have created alternative business models which suit their needs.

If you stand back from escorting a little and think about what the essentials of the business are it is clear that a girl wants to be paid for her time by a gentleman who, in all likelihood, will want to move to some form of consenting adult activity. How a girl decides to organize those essentials is up to her. It is also up to her to decide what her business goals are. Do you want escorting to be your full time job or would you prefer to see a few men each month to supplement your income. Do you want to remain quiet about your escorting or are you happy to be identified as a sex worker.

If you want to distance your business from the traditional service provider model then you need to think about what it is that you could offer which would make you different. With a different approach all of a sudden your cup size and hair colour are not as relevant; what else you bring to the table becomes critical.

Anonymous: Much Depends on Dinner

I spoke with one escort who asked that I not name her city or state who has made an entire business out of the pleasures of fine home cooking with a decadent dessert.

“A lot of my clients travel two or even three weeks a month. They come to town, stay in a nice hotel and, at some point they decide they would like some company. OK, I was more than happy to accommodate. But, and it was a big but, I wanted to be really selective and charge a bit more than the going rate.”

“Now I think I am pretty but I am not in any sense the Playboy ideal or a model. If you look at me you will know one big thing. I love to cook. Everything from clever French peasant food to Italian to good plain American food.”

“And I love the whole production number a great dinner can be. Somewhere along the line I have picked up some brilliant Limoges china, sterling cutlery, crystal candleholders. A pretty bunch of flowers in a cut glass vase and dinner à deux is good to go.”

Just for fun I put up an ad “Gourmet Home Cooking for the Discerning Gentleman: Sweetness to Follow” with a slightly naughty picture of me in my chef’s apron and very little else.”

I had done some regular dates and enjoyed myself. This was just a bit of fun. Well it seemed I really hit a nerve. I do five dinners a week and sometimes a Saturday or Sunday lunch and I am booked pretty much solid for the next two weeks. It has been that way since I started.”

It is a bit time intensive compared to a simple, no frills, date but it is also very lucrative and really good fun. Instead of fencing about which activities I consent to as an adult, my phone calls are all about what my dinner companion likes to eat.

And, as it turns out, it is not so much what they like to eat as the fact that travelers get sick of hotel restaurant food served by people trying to upsell them wine who they know they are not going home with. You would be amazed at how many times I have been asked if I could cook a plain meat loaf or roast a chicken. Which I can and do.

Of course the fact I am a cooking courtesan immediately gives us something to chat about over hors d’oerves and by the time I have dinner on the table we are usually having a great conversation. I take a moment after I’ve cleared the main course and slip into something a bit more suggestive for dessert. The fact there is an envelope on my hall table is long since forgotten as we move to my bedroom for the rest of the evening.

Now I am not at all greedy but I have been raising my rates steadily from a fairly high base. There are certainly potential clients who blink or try to dicker but I am busy enough that I don’t have to budge. On the other hand, I have a number of great regulars who make a point of tipping well. Plus, and I am amused by this, I find that a number of my regulars refer their friends. I think because of the dinner end they are more comfortable with the idea of saying you should try dinner.

It’s not for every girl – and I don’t want the competition – but you are really giving your clients exactly what they really want. Great for them and fun for you.”

Claire: Rent a Girlfriend

“I don’t have that much time to talk.” said Claire, “I have a gym date in half an hour.”

I had to ask, “What’s a gym date?”

“Just what it sounds like. One of my clients likes to work out a couple of times a week and he likes me to go with him. He bought me the membership and time with his personal trainer.”

I ran into Claire because I was intrigued with her ad. Instead of offering “the complete GFE” she advertised herself as a “Girlfriend for Rent”.

“It is really pretty simple. I had been escorting for a while and doing OK but I have to tell you I was not loving the work. It got a bit repetitious and mechanical after a while. But I had one regular who asked me out of the blue if we could, well, hang out a bit together. He said he’d pay me but that the sex was not the whole story.”

“The story turned out to be that he was a pretty successful software engineer who worked crazy hours. He was all of thirty two and he did want to find the right girl and all that. But he had no time for any sort of conventional relationship. So he’d invest all this money in taking a girl for dinner and on trips and then he’d get stuck in to something and not call her for a month. Well, naturally, she’d get mad and not see him again.”

He hated that, but he liked having company when he had time. Suited me just fine and, more or less over night, I became a rent a girlfriend. I said to him it was sort of like being a mistress but he hated that. He told me a mistress was all about sex. Which I knew it wasn’t but whatever.”

“He’d phone me up when he had time. Sometimes a couple of times a week, sometimes a month would go by without any contact. He’ll take me to dinner or out sailing or to parties with his really geeky friends. The point is that I fill a social hole in his life. And, yes, we do behave as consenting adults but I am pretty sure that that is not the point. At least he says it’s not.”

Compare to an hour or two hour date the time for money equation is a bit different but he understands he needs to compensate me for the revenue I would be missing and he is pretty generous.”

I live in one of those areas where there are a lot of tech guys. All getting paid really well. I wondered if there were other guys like my client and, over time, it turns out there are. For the first year I kept my straight provider ad running but I created a whole new persona for my “Rent a Girlfriend” ad. Very “girl next door”, more like a personals ad than an escort ad.

I am one of those girls who really does like hiking, skiing, long walks on the beach so I put all of that in the ad. Plus, of course, romantic dinners and watching the sunset. But the key part was, as the expression goes, addressing the pain point to close the sale. After all, a great ad promises to solve the potential client’s problem.

Here’s what I wrote, “You’re driven, you work crazy hours, you have to travel and work late. You’d love a girlfriend but what girl will put up with your “whatever it takes” schedule? Well, I would.”

The sort of client I was looking for would identify himself reading that. These guys almost never phoned – they emailed or texted which was fine with me.

One of their biggest things was that this was a business arrangement. Part of the problem with the tech culture that most of them lived in was that there were a lot of predatory women both in the business and floating around trying to hook a guy who was going to build the next “What’s App” and become a billionaire. These guys were really wary and I can’t blame them.

I would reassure them but, more importantly, I would tell them the truth. At a certain point in an ambitious man’s career having a girlfriend is a luxury which costs much more than it first appears. Two reasons: first, to keep a girl happy means that a guy has to neglect his prime focus on work, second, the sort of girl a guy in a start-up situation might be able to date is very different from the sort of girl guy with a successful start up or two under his belt can date.

Of those two things the second is the more important. A lot of guys, pretty much to keep the girlfriend, get over involved in their mid to late twenties. Some even get married just to ease the pressure. Which is a huge mistake because then the girl gets half. Even without being married there are huge pitfalls including – if the girl is in the same company - sexual harassment claims. It is a minefield out there for ambitious men.

What I was offering was a no pressure, no legal claim, service which gave these guys all the fun of a girlfriend with none of the commitments or guilt. A lot of these guys are brilliant but linear. They can’t really understand why a girlfriend would be angry when they don’t call for a month. I make sure that when one of my “boyfriends” calls me or, more likely texts, I am delighted to hear from him.

I think the key to the whole “Rent a Girlfriend” idea is that the client gets the perfect girlfriend for a busy, successful, young guy and I get well paid. And that was another thing I discovered as I talked to more of these sorts of guys. They are not hung up at all about paying. One guy said to me, “Look, I pay consultants all the time. They are there when I need them but are not part of my overhead.”

These guys are very businesslike on the arrangements. At our first date I like to lay out the program. I have a flat monthly fee which gives my clients a set number of dates per month. Usually two or three. I don’t watch the clock but generally a date will take two to four hours. If they want to see me more than that I am happy to book more time. If they get busy they can bank their time and spend a weekend or take me on a trip.

One of my clients actually pointed out that girlfriends sometimes took booty calls and that he sometimes liked to relax after a sixteen hour coding day. I pointed out that most girlfriends resented booty calls and would act out that resentment; as a rent a girlfriend I took a very different approach. I was happy to take the call for a generous cash payment but there could be no guarantee as to my availability.

The “rent a girlfriend” idea took a while to catch on. Mostly my own mistakes advertising. My target market tends to have a pretty good idea what they want and it is a long way away from the standard escort look. I did a few pictures in the sort of clothes I saw girls wearing at the sort of places I was being taken on dates. That helped a lot.

But what really made it all work was my own attitude. Now I had clients who were smart, successful and often pretty funny. It was like having half a dozen guys asking you out on dates but without the stress of trying to maintain a relationship or decide whether or not you were going to sleep with them. Instead of sort of dreading my escort encounters, I looked forward to seeing my “boyfriends”.

And, if I do say so myself, I was the perfect girlfriend. I’d stay in touch, send sexy selfies, listen to their work stories – and because I usually saw them for quite a while I knew what they did and who they worked with. I’d even run errands or pick them up at the airport.

Escorting with a Difference

It takes imagination and a bit of a risk to step outside the escorting box.

Whether you change your whole escorting business or just decide to try to appeal to a specific clientele, you are almost certainly increasing your competitive advantage over girls who stay on the well-worn path.

One girl I spoke to did nothing more than set a minimum age for her clients. Nothing fancy but she felt safer and her business changed as she began to realize how best to serve her older clientele. Other girls would shift their focus to out of town business men exclusively which increased their earnings and avoided some of the discretion problems an in town clientele can create. Small changes but they all add up to a business just a little out of the ordinary.

35 | DOES SIZE MATTER FOR AN ESCORT?

No, not that size, dress size.

On the one hand, we have the feminist struggle for a degree of realism as far as women’s bodies are concerned; and on the other, the reality of the escorting marketplace.

To begin with the obvious, most women, including escorts, are not a size zero or even a size 6 - “the average woman today wears a size 14 (in 1985, she wore a size 8)” explains Kayleen Schaeffer in a Yahoo Style piece. Women have become larger. Now, while part of that is “fat” another part is simply that women are healthier and fitter than they were thirty years ago. Muscle weighs more than fat. In order to wear a size 6 or below, a woman actually has to be “small” which has as much to do with bone structure as it does with weight.

Schaeffer goes on to point out, “Some of the most famous women right now have built their careers at least partially on not looking like twigs, like Kim Kardashian, Nicki Minaj, and Kate Upton. Plus, a surefire way to have a hit pop song today seems to be with lyrics about how great it is to have an ample booty.” It is not so difficult to name dozens of famous, sexy, women who are the very opposite of waifs. Sophia Loren, Raquel Welch, and Bridgette Bardot were known for their curves. Kate Moss, for her boy-like body.

A scan through the escort ads reveals a tremendous range of body types and more than a trivial number of bodacious  bootys. So the argument can be made that there IS a demand for sexy voluptuousness.

Balanced against this are the results of The Economist’s in depth examination of the escorting business which revealed that there was a significant difference between what girls of differing body types were able to command per hour. “Athletic” or “Slim” girls made, on average, $60.00 more per hour than their “baby fat” or “flabby” colleagues and $80.00 an hour more than self described “heavy” or “fat” girls. What The Economist seems to be saying is that there is a Big Beautiful Woman penalty in the escorting business.

Of course, the problem with either position is that it breaks down in the face of the many variables which make up particular women and therefore particular escorts. There are stunning women who are a size 16, and girls who look awful at size 6. More importantly, there are escorts who revel in their womanly charms and others for whom the feminine is deeply conflicted. For these women, the numbers on the bathroom scale either make or break their day, and is in inverse relationship with their self-esteem.

Making the Most of Your Assets

Regardless of dress size, an escort can increase her bookings and sometimes her rates, by working hard to maximize the impact of the looks and body she has. Sure, there are lots of escorts who have a long-term plan to drop a few sizes or gain a few curves, but on a day to day basis, escorts have to market what they actually have.

Be real; but sell it. No client wants to arrive at the front door of an in-call and be unpleasantly surprised. If you are a curvy girl, be upfront in your advertising, pictures and on your website. Yes, there will be potential clients who will not want to see you because they are not looking for a girl with curves. But being honest about it is a great way of avoiding encounters where you start off with a disappointed client.

By “sell it,” I mean make sure that your advertising and marketing take full advantage of your beautiful curves. In your advertising, words like “curvaceous”, “full-figured” and “luscious” are very much better than “BBW” or “large”.  Tag lines like, “more to love” are light-hearted and indicate that you are comfortable in your body and have a sense of humour.

Pictures are worth their proverbial thousand words, so make sure that your pictures do you justice. Ideally, have a set done professionally or by a talented amateur just starting out to become a professional. Recognize your best assets. Do you have great cleavage? Make it the focus of the shoot. Lovely legs? Slip on a pair of stockings and draw your potential clients’ attention to your gorgeous gams.

When you are shooting professionally, don’t try to hide your curves but make sure that your poses are flattering and avoid emphasizing bulk or folds. Strategic draping and a really nice slip can keep everything you want seen on display while keeping more than a little for the imagination. Similarly, proper lighting can smooth your skin and highlight your best features, while shadows keep some things in the background.

Whatever you do, resist the urge to perform Photoshop magic. Yes, a good photo editing session can remove that blemish on your cheek and the scratches on your thigh; but nature would have done that in time. But losing twenty pounds with an airbrush just sets your client up for disappointment.

For both your photo shoot and your dates, pay attention to how you are dressed. A larger woman in yoga pants is never a good look pace Ms. Kardashian. Learn how to dress in a way that flatters your size and shape. A dress or skirt, with dark hose will present a smooth, attractive profile. And do remember that foundations are indeed a girl’s best friend. If you have lovely breasts, a bra with real structure will enhance them to best advantage. If you are wearing stockings, you need to hold them up. Although a garter belt will do the job, a better choice is a firmly shaping open- bottom girdle.

(My twenty-something readers will likely be going, A what? and thinking that Spanx is surely what I meant to type. Not at all. Spanx are really fabulous, but nothing is quite as good as an old-fashioned, side-zipped girdle. Look for real vintage on Ebay or contemporary vintage at Amazon or, my favorite, Secrets in Lace.)

For your marketing photos, whether they are in conjunction with your advertising, featured on review sites, or are going to grace your websites, you need to adopt a very defined persona. Your clothes, make-up, lingerie and setting all need to reflect that persona. Exactly how that works depends on your personality, but one thing to bear in mind is that for a curvy woman, ladylike is more attractive than casual. The skinny jeans and ballet flats which work well for Audrey Hepburn emulating waifs, look oddly over-stuffed on a woman of even normal size. Whereas a waif in a Chanel suit looks as if she has raided Mummy’s closet.

Womanly

In order to advertise or market “womanly”, you must realize that it is an idea (and an ideal) and a way of life which a girl defines in her own way. But there are elements of a womanly approach to escorting which can be deeply attractive to a certain sort of man.

Here is the point: a curvy, voluptuous woman is offering the luxury of comfort to her clients. And if she starts with that idea, her business will take on an entirely new and deeper dimension.

Men have more than just sexual appetites. An escort prepared to practice the womanly arts will be satisfying far more than mere sexual desire.

Talking with Stella - Fresh Cinnamon Buns

“I was never what you would call a skinny girl. I developed early and I’ve always carried a few extra pounds.”

Stella is in her early thirties and works as an escort in a mid-western city.

“Dress size? Well I used to be a 12 but, honestly, 14 or even a 16 feels right for me. But I have to have most of my dresses altered anyway. I’m big on the top and big on the bottom but I like to show my waist off. I work out for that waist”, she laughs. “Hard.”

“For me, getting into escorting just seemed like the right thing to do. I love men. And one night a man suggested that I could charge for what I loved doing anyway. To tell the truth, I had thought about it before but I figured there was no way a big girl like me would get any clients with all the thin little cheerleader types.”

“Was I ever wrong! I’ve been doing this for nearly four years and I’ve never been busier.”

“Look. Most of the men I see are here for sex the first time they come over. Which I understand and I do my best. But a lot of them come back for something else.”

“When I was growing up I wasn’t a cool kid, I was a friendly kid. It’s the same with escorting. I don’t pretend I am a Playboy model or some sort of porn star. But I usually have some fresh cinnamon buns and a really great cup of coffee in the afternoon. Evenings, I’ll have some nice wine and something a man actually wants to eat like a pile of bacon wrapped scallops. So my clients will come over for a real visit.”

“I always dress to the nines. I loves clothes and I get my hair and nails done regularly. And lingerie? Ooh la la, just don’t get me started!”

“My home is my sanctuary. I work from an apartment in a nice, old, four-story building with a safe parking lot and a very private entrance. I actually managed to get the owner’s penthouse for a really reasonable rent. It’s fabulous and there is no one else on my floor. A killer view of the city with a wrap-around roof deck. I always have fresh flowers and jazz on the stereo…men just don’t want to leave!”

“I am obsessive about cleanliness. Not just tidy, clean. I have a gal who comes in once a week to really do the place over, but I dust and vacuum every day. I have a washer dryer which is the best investment I’ve made in my business. A thick, terry towel and a comfortable bathrobe after a shower makes a man feel like he’s at a luxury hotel. So do really nice, crisp, bazillion-thread-count sheets. I shop the sales and if anything is even a little worn, off it goes to the thrift store.”

“The apartment itself is an oasis of calm. I keep my clothes classic and monochromatic, so I’ve gone in the same direction with my décor. I love greys and sharp black and white, and the mix of old and new and eclectic finds from my travels and the vintage shops. My furniture pretty minimalist, but of really good quality. Sort of a glamourous Deco vibe, I guess.  I also have some great French vintage fashion illustrations called pouchoirs which I found on E-Bay. It’s all about comfort and style.”

“I don’t do rushed dates. Never have. Well, occasionally, I’ll have a quickie with a guy just to get rid of him, but that is not so often, and I charge full rates. The point is that men like to relax and I want to be the gal they like to relax with.”

“Once I got started as an escort, I really never let my size worry me. And if it doesn’t worry me, it sure doesn’t worry my clients. At the same time, I make a point of walking and working out at a gym a couple of times a week. There is a huge difference between being big and being out of shape. I’m no athlete, but I’m not a couch potato either.”

“Most of the clients I see want a voluptuous woman. They like my curves. I’m a little old-school on my ads and my website: no naked pictures and none where you can really see my face. But I have some pretty bras which I like to wear with swanky, low-cut dresses. It gets their attention.”

“One of the funny things about being a big girl in this business, is that it is a lot easier for a client to see me, and be seen with me, out in public. Let’s face it, a fifty-five year old, balding business exec going to an event with a 22 year old, five-foot-ten, blonde model attracts a lot of the wrong sort of attention. Men who want company at social functions don’t want their date to scream “escort”. But if they take me they have an attractive woman who, while a bit younger that he is, looks like she is his date. Which is great because I love getting dressed up and having a night on the town.”

“The other thing I’ve noticed is that my clients, once they get settled in, seem to just enjoy being taken care of. It that a thing? I mean you can’t advertise it really. But they sink back into one of my comfortable leather armchairs and I’ll often get right down on the floor and unlace their shoes and slip them off. It’s a nice way to break the ice. So is just standing behind them and giving them a good shoulder and neck massage. I try to get them talking a bit and once they start that, they just keep going. I think they come as much for my zany personality and sense of humour as for anything else. Maybe because I’ve never taken escorting too seriously. I’m just having fun, and so are my clients.”

“I suppose this shouldn’t surprise me but it still does, the fact that I am a curvy gal is largely forgotten by the time I send them off to my bedroom while I get changed. I mean I haven’t suddenly gone from a size 16 to a size 6, it’s just that once they get to know me a little they just don’t notice, or care.”

“I know there is a part of the escort market which is all about perfect 10 bodies and a sort of Southern California porn star look. I also know I am never going to look like that and I don’t want to. My experience is that when men want to hire an escort they are not always looking for that experience. That’s high pressure for him. There is room in the business for all sorts of girls.”

“My whole focus is on making my clients relaxed and happy. I want them to want to see me again and they do. It’s business of course, and we all know that but there really are some great guys out there who like to stop by on the way home from work just to unwind a bit.”

“The one other thing about being a larger-sized escort is that you can stay in the business a lot longer if you want to. Twenty-two and tiny lasts for a few years and if that is all you are offering once it is gone, so is your business. But if you’re like me, and you take care of yourself, there is no reason at all that you can’t keep seeing clients for years.”

“My business is more reality-based than a lot of girls’. I am not a fantasy date, I am a big, fun-loving gal who makes sure her gentlemen callers leave with a smile on their faces. That’s really what counts.”

Size versus Style

Stella, and many other plus-size escorts, have recognized that their style is more important than their dress size. Of course there are size 4 escorts who are as warm and welcoming as Stella, and size 20 escorts who adopt a strictly business approach. In that sense, size doesn’t matter.

Taking care of clients, giving them a break from the day-to-day, focusing your full attention on their needs, wants, and desires, and guiding a client there, has nothing to do with a dress size.

36 | AN ESCORT TAKES CHARGE

In the rush of a busy life an escort can lose sight of the simple things which can make her encounters and her life in general much more pleasant. It is all too easy to become cynical about the profession. Part of the reason why cynicism and burnout are problems faced by escorts may lie in the fact they may forget the virtues of formality and politeness.

The very idea of formality is something of a lost art in a society where your dry cleaner first names you from your first visit onwards. In a world of twerking is there any room left for a gentle handshake? Indeed does anyone know what politeness is anymore?

In fact, formality and politeness are formidable weapons in the hands of an escort who knows how to use them. They are also wonderful tools to put clients at ease. Having a grasp of the basics and the determination to use them will empower an escort to move up the escorting ladder.

A Decision

Every escort from the most basic service provider to the highest priced courtesan has to make a decision at some point in her career: will she follow her profession as a lady or will she just bump along as nothing much in particular? In the most basic sense this is a decision driven by a sense of self.

For some girls the decision to escort is all about low self-worth and poor self-esteem. At the end of their tethers, girls can decide to become escorts for many reasons which are not the reasons which they might have wanted. Lack of money, loss of a job, pressure from a boyfriend are all reasons why a girl might enter the escort business. The problem with all of those reasons is that they are external. They are limits on the girl’s choices.

Entering escorting for what amount to negative reasons can lead to an escort seeing herself as having very little value which, in turn, makes it easy for other people – clients, agencies, boyfriends – to exploit her. Such exploitation leads to an even lower self-valuation.

Other girls enter the business from healthier places. They are intrigued by the money, see there being a somewhat glamorous life in the escort world or see that world as a means to a particular end. Healthier but often quite fragile.

Regardless of the reasons a girl enters the escorting business, she makes a decision daily to stay in the business and that decision gives her real choices. Principally it gives her a choice as to the terms of her trade.

When a girl first enters the business she has only a theoretical understanding of what, in fact, escorting is. And she has only the most limited understanding of how the escorting dynamic can work and be made to work for her.

The Escorting Dynamic

On one side of the equation are the clients in all their strange varieties. From hobbyists to random strangers on through to married men and soccer dads with child seats in the back of their mini vans, an escort is quickly exposed to the wide spectrum of male desire.

To some degree an escort is mistress of her fortune in that her ads can be written to attract a particular clientele. Her website can tell a story which will appeal to some clients and not others. Her booking agent, or if she is independent, her own calls can screen out men who do not seem suitable.

Of course, the ability to refuse dates depends on the escort being economically and emotionally stable enough to feel comfortable turning away money. But it is also a good indication of where a girl is on the escort continuum. The further upscale a girl goes the pickier she can become both in the dates she accepts and in how selective her marketing actually is.

However, after all the selection and all the marketing escorts see clients. How they chose to handle that situation and the tools they bring to their business goes a long way to decoding why some girls are very successful low volume, high earnings escorts and others are not so fortunate.

Gillian: Every Inch a Lady

“It was funny. I’d been working for about three months and I was building up an independent clientele while still taking some dates through an agency.” explained Gillian a thirty year old escort from a city in the North East, “I was doing pretty well. Or at least I thought so. But, to tell the truth, I was getting a bit bored with hour “dates”. And I seemed to be going nowhere.”

“You know that old sports thing where the coach says, ‘Never change a winning game, always change a losing one”? Well I wasn’t losing yet but I just could not see myself going on seeing six or eight or even ten guys a day. It’s too much.”

“I had this one date. Nice, nice man, two hours but we went over and he gave me a two hundred dollar tip. But he also said something I really paid attention to, “You are much too much of a lady to only be making a couple of hundred an hour. You are working too hard.”

“I knew he was right. So I wondered what I could do to change that. I had this one photo set which the photographer the agency used to shoot me had taken for his own portfolio. Not at all the normal escort butt and boobs pics. Dark, half lighting and he had me wearing a broad brimmed black straw hat and black slip I’d brought for the shoot. The slip wasn’t even lacy or low cut. Anyway, the agency hated them but I kept the pictures.”

“I knew I had the pictures and I’d just moved to an ok apartment; but what did I really want to change? I wasn’t all that sure but I started with “I want to make more money, keep more of it and work less. Which, of course, every girl wants.”

“I looked at the pictures and one in particular really jumped out at me. My hair had somehow been pulled off my face, maybe tucked under the hat and I was looking up. The fact is I looked like one of those expensive ladies you see in ads for watches and things.”

We asked Gillian what changed.

“Well, start with my working name – I was “Alexa”, the agency gave me that porn star name – I started advertising as Gillian. It just sounded better. And I totally changed my ads. I was a gentleman’s companion. And I doubled my rates. Which I thought would kill the business but I figured if I worked half as much for the same money I was out ahead.”

“Mainly, though, I changed my attitude, my approach. I mean I didn’t know when I started. I had no idea how to deal with clients and the agency owner telling me “We all know what men want so get paid and give it to them.” was not a whole lot of help.”

“I went with the look in the picture. A bit aloof. I mean I got into escorting for some pretty screwed up reasons but mainly because I needed the money. I still needed the money but I wasn’t quite as desperate. I knew I was a little older than a lot of the girls and the agency never let me forget that. But I also remembered what that client said “You are too much of a lady”. Maybe he was right. Before the trouble I had, I worked as a hostess at a pretty upscale restaurant. I knew the moves.”

“What I hadn’t done is make the connection between escorting and that sort of set of public manners and courtesy. When I was working in the restaurant guys flirted with me all the time. It’s an unwritten rule of the restaurant business that you never date the customers but you certainly flirt for tips.”

“I thought to myself, what the Hell, why not change how I was working so that I marketed myself as a more sophisticated companion? A lot of that was in my advertising. “Gillian” had ads which left a lot to the imagination. I just used pictures from that one session. And I targeted my ads by using words like “generous businessmen” and “outcall to select hotels”.”

“But where I really changed my game was answering the phone. The restaurant I worked in took reservations but the owner was a total snob. If he didn’t like how you asked for a reservation we became “booked”. I learned from him to look for the signs. If a guy wants to discuss the menu he has already lost points. Same with prices, no one who knows anything phones a restaurant and asks for the prices. It is all online. Well the same thing happened if a guy phoned me and started in on what he could expect or what would this or that cost. I would refer him to my website but, usually, even if he called back I would be booked.”

“What I tried to do on the phone was project a sense that this was a special, luxurious, not for everyone sort of date. It took me a few tries but the clients who got it really got it. I was friendly on the phone but not chatty. There is a sweet spot between being strictly business and being warm. I erred a little on the side of warm but I didn’t waste a lot of time.”

“In call or out call I always began the same way. I put out my hand and said, “Well we have not been formally introduced, my name is Gillian.” It was casual and formal at the same time. But it put the client at ease because, in that first minute, he knew what to do. He was to take my hand and introduce himself. Unless the guy was raised by wolves, he would get this part of the evening right.”

“The other thing which I changed was how I actually either led the caller into my apartment from the door or walked into his hotel room. When I was first starting I would sort of shuffle in, shyly, waiting for him to tell me what he wanted. What I remembered from the hostessing trade was that people are much more comfortable when the hostess “takes charge”.”

“So now, after shaking hands, I make a point of either touring his hotel room or taking him on a tour of my little apartment. While I am doing that I am taking those last reads which every escort uses to check out a prospective client. Shoes, watch, clothes and, if he is in his hotel, things like luggage and laptop. And I will be asking him about himself as I walk.”

“I make a point of never being in a hurry. In my city the vice cops are all about the low end. I was at much more risk of being busted doing the hour and occasional half hour dates. But a girl can’t be too careful and a polite ten minute conversation with no mention of money is a great way to break the ice while getting to know your client.”

“The biggest choice I made was that I really was worth a premium rate and the consideration which goes with that. So, instead of a dress down to there and up to here, I wear good, fashionable, fairly demure outfits. I threw away – well actually sold – a pair of really tacky Plexiglas stripper platforms…what was I thinking when I let the agency owner talk me into those.”

“While I am delighted with flirtatious and lightly suggestive language, I don’t tolerate vulgarity. And it’s funny, maybe it is the somewhat aloof advertising, or the screening calls, but I find that most, well really all, the men I see are almost relieved to be seeing an escort who seems to have standards. I think they feel safer somehow.”

Gillian paused for a moment, “You know, the fact is since I changed my attitude and my prices I have been making more money and not working as hard. Plus I am seeing nicer men. It is a slightly older clientele. Which I think has to do with my prices but also how I advertise myself. There is just that little hint of intimidation.”

“One thing which has really changed, and maybe this is because I dropped my agency, is that I am building a group of regulars. Not a lot, maybe a dozen or so; but they are very faithful and very reliable. I never discount my rates but I make sure that I give them all the time they want while only charging for a couple of hours. Again, to use the restaurant example, we treated our regulars like gold. There was always a good table ready and the chef would whip up a little “off the menu, off the bill” course and there would often be an “eau de vie” to finish off the evening. Which might have cost the restaurant $10.00 on a $200 dollar bill for two.”

“I use the same sort of tactic with my regulars. Because I know them I can be a little more forward. If they are coming to my place, instead of greeting them in a dress, I might entertain them in a pretty slip and stockings. In the bedroom they might have a treat which is not on the menu. It can be nothing more than a few minutes of teasing; but they seem to like it.”

“Of course, for a few of my regulars I have their permission to send them the occasional naughty picture. Smart phones are a wonder. I don’t do selfies exactly. More shots of pretty things very close to my skin.” Gillian laughed, “Not that they don’t ask. I’d be disappointed if they didn’t. One of the things I often do is send a picture of a perfect little bra or a gorgeous garter belt that I know one of my regulars will like and invite him over to watch me try it on. It’s a great way to fill in a hole in my schedule.”

“And that is probably the biggest change. When I started escorting I was pretty passive. I waited for things to happen. Now I make things happen. I make my own decisions. I run my own business. I know what I am good at, what I enjoy in the business and, for a select group of clients, this seems to be what they are looking for.”

“I take charge the same way I did when I would take care of people at the restaurant. I am formal to begin with, polite. If they play their part well then I unwind a little. It is like a dance where you reflect your partner’s steps.”

“Keeping a bit of distance at the beginning, even on the booking call, means that the client is set to value me far more than if I was passive. And that, in turn, means I have a much more pleasant encounter whether it is the first time or with a regular of long standing.”

The Escort’s Value

Value is an odd thing. It is related to price. A girl charging $500 an hour is seen differently than a girl charging $100. Interestingly, each girl is setting her rate according to what she sees as her value in the market where she is escorting.

Because of circumstances Gillian entered the escorting world with a sense that she was not very valuable. That her time and her talents were very run of the mill and that she should charge no more than what her agent told her was the going rate. She could easily have stayed in that situation because it is tough to look in the mirror and say, “What I do is valuable and I am going to charge for that value.” It often takes a trigger like Gillian’s client for a girl to assess what she is doing and to consider what else she could be doing.

37 | ESCORTING: A DYNAMIC DUO

I have been thinking of writing about threesomes for a while. Escorting is usually a private matter between an escort and her client. However, men have many a fantasy and one of the more common, is to have two girls.

A browse through the escort ads suggests that there are plenty of escorts in major cities who offer this as an option. And a check back to The Economist article on escorting indicates that this is one service which can command premium rates.

But, realistically, that does not tell me much about the dynamic involved in threesomes or, frankly, how such encounters work best. So I began to chat on a few of the escort forums. An interesting conversation ensued with Sara and Trish and, with their permission, here are some of the highlights.

CamGirls

“I’m twenty-four,” said Sara, “And Trish is twenty seven. We met camming. I had a guy who wanted to pay me a lot of money for a video session with another girl (which I was fine with) but I really didn’t have another girl to ask. I love Craigslist, so I advertised: Camgirl needs girlfriend for short show. You can show me what to do.” Right to the point because Sara admitted she had never actually been with a girl…not even a kiss.” And Trish had never cammed before,” said Sara, “so we went for coffee.”

“Instant attraction,” said Trish, “We both loved the same things, alt-jazz, vintage clothes, Portlandia, modern burlesque. And the really weird part was that neither of us had any tattoos!”

“We talked a little bit about the cam session. Trish said she could really use the money and as long as it was not going to be public, she was cool with being filmed. But then she said it, “Filmed making love to you,” and that suddenly made it all very real,” said Sara. “I said maybe we should practice a bit first and Trish said we’d be more comfortable at her apartment, so that is where we went with a bottle of wine. As Katy Perry puts it, “I kissed a girl and I liked it.” We’ve been together ever since and that was two years ago.”

“I knew I was a lesbian.” said Trish, “Which, up until I met Sara, really meant I liked my encounters with women more than my encounters with men. But I have a really straight job and I don’t want to be “out.” But that first evening with Sara reminded me of all the reasons why I love women.”

Sara jumped in, “I was totally straight (I thought) but, well, Trish was really wonderful and gentle and hot in bed, and there it is. But that is not the whole story. While we were figuring out what to do about our attraction, we realized that we also had to figure out what to do in the cam show.”

“I didn’t have a clue about camming, but I was finding out lots about how to make love to Sara…so we went with that.” said Trish.

“In the end it was a great show and we did a few more together later on.” And then?

Live

“Well, one of our camming clients was coming to town and offered us an enormous amount of money to perform “live” as it were. Plus, he wanted a happy ending.” said Trish. “Sara was into it; I was a bit reluctant. More than anything, I was worried about someone finding out.”

“In our relationship, Trish worries and I get busy.” said Sara. “It really was a lot of money, or at the time we thought so. Now we know better.”

“The date itself was easy.” said Trish. “He was staying at a nice hotel right downtown and we made sure he was buying us dinner first. We’re both clothes horses and we love getting dressed up. Nothing tarty. It’s fun because we are about the same size. Sara’s a little bigger on top.”

“And you have longer legs.” interjected Sara.

“But we were able to find a couple of vintage dresses which suited the occasion. It was great because our client turned out to be in his late thirties. We’d been expecting someone older for some reason.”

“Probably because you like older men if you like men at all.” said Sara.

“We had a couple of cocktails,” continued Trish, a wonderful dinner and retired to his suite for a nightcap.”

“Because there are always two of us and we are dress well, we never have any trouble at hotels.” said Sara, “Of course, if they saw what we wear under our little black dresses I suspect they would faint.”

“Dita von Teese is our idol. We actually buy her stockings from Secrets in Lace and her lingerie is on the top of our website wish lists. We like our clients to be more than a little delighted when it comes time to move to the finale.” said Trish.

“Usually Trish takes the lead in the sense that she tells me to take off my dress and begin to entertain our client. It is a really nice dynamic because, from our client’s perspective, Trish is in charge. Sometimes she’ll tell me to go and bathe our client and off I go in my little lacy slip to get him ready for the main event.” said Sara.

“The thing is,” explains Trish, “what most men think they want with two girls is for both girls to be paying attention to them. We get to that eventually, but before we do we have fun together.”

“A lot of fun.” said Sara laughing.

“It’s funny, Sara and I certainly do escorting work, but neither of us really see it that way. It is more something we do a few times a month if we want to have a night out and make some money. We still cam a bit but the money you make escorting as a duo makes camming look like a lot of work for very little return.” said Trish.

“We do try to be serious about escorting. I mean we have a website and we put up the occasional escort ad. But the fact is that we both have decent day jobs so the money is lovely but not vital. So we are really picky.” said Sara.

“For one thing, we only see clients together. You can’t book us separately. We don’t always do the girl on girl thing but most of our clients want that as their appetizer. We only do dates three nights a week and our minimum booking is two hours.” explained Sara.

“Sara’s the web wizard. She takes care of all our ads and our website. The website is actually where we make most of our appointments. Plus there is a membership section where our regulars and people who like to see our pictures and download our books or videos can go.” said Trish.

Vintage Fun

“We actually have a lot of fun doing vintage dress up shoots. I know this slightly pervy photographer who loves to come over for a Saturday afternoon and shoot hundreds of pictures. We take the best ones and make Kindle ebooks and sell those at Amazon. But what is tons of fun is to take all but the pictures where our eyes are wonky, and put them up for our members. Then we send out an email – very discreetly – announcing that the site has been updated.” said Sara, “And we usually do a couple of videos when we are all dressed up and sell those, too.”

“I bet we’d be doing a lot of this even if we weren’t escorting.” said Trish, “We’re both major exhibitionists. But there is a huge thing about being paid to be naughty. The money is sort of a tribute our fans pay.”

“Because we never really set out to be “escorts” we have mainly avoided the whole hustling for clients thing. We have a few regulars who can afford to see us a few times a month. We got reviewed once – which was hysterical because the guy who wrote it totally did not get what we were doing. He said we took way too long to get to the erotic encounter – which might be true – but we don’t care. The guys who do get it, are really happy to have found us.” said Sara.

We asked the girls how they felt as a committed lesbian couple about heterosexual escorting.

“Key thing; we’re lesbians who like men. There are a lot of us out there. And we love clothes and make-up and the whole “lipstick lesbian” thing. But, and this is a critical point, escorting is a business. Straight girls who escort don’t fall in love with their clients. Once in a while they have a great time in bed with a particular guy and that is a huge plus. Once in a while one of us will really enjoy an encounter and that is also great. But first, last and always, this is business and any girl who does not understand that should stay far away from escorting.” said Trish.

“I agree with Trish, but from my own perspective, a lot of what we are selling is a performance, a bit of fantasy come to life; but we are also giving our clients pleasure as well. It’s a business, sure; but for us, especially with regulars, it can also be a lot of good, dirty, fun.” said Sara.

Honest Escorts

“Here’s the thing. There is a terrific honesty about the sort of escorting we do. We’re not there to grab the money and run. We’re usually wined and dined and we like to give our clients much more than their money’s worth. Which they notice and which keeps them coming back. Poor Sara does about ninety percent of the email and texting, she carries our business smart phone, and at any given moment she’ll be in conversation with half a dozen clients. They want to know what we’re up to, if we’ve updated the site, if we are free next week. It is a ton of work, but totally worth it because those are the guys who keep coming back.” said Trish.

“Sure, it’s work,” agrees Sara, “but those text conversations and the emails are usually from guys who we had entertained, who are members of our website, who send us birthday presents off our wish list, buy every e-book we make, and ask us to do custom videos at $20 a minute. Some of our regulars spend thousands of dollars a year and don’t even see us for a date.”

I asked what the hardest part of the business was for them.

“No question: being original. If you do 150 dates a year, a couple dozen photo shoots and assorted videos, you have to keep coming up with a new take. Now the vintage clothing and lingerie thing helps a lot because at least we are always wearing something different when we see a client the third of fourth time.” said Trish.

“We have come up with a few really delicious high-roller dates. But those are set pieces like the “decadent dinner”, the “girls together surprise in your bed” – that sort of thing. The one thing which does work, even after a number of years of doing this, is for Trish to be in charge and me to do what I am told. Which is a bit like our relationship, but on a date we can really play with that.” said Sara.

“And we do. Within a whole bunch of boundaries which really are hard limits. We have no problem with sensual domination and I have been known to tie Sara to a bed; but we are very careful that that is between us girls. Our client is watching but that’s all.” said Trish.

“Most of the time, our clients want the attention to shift to them later on in the date which makes total sense. Trish and I have a lot of fun coming up with ways to let our clients enjoy themselves without crossing any hard lines.” said Sara.

We asked if they were planning on staying in the escorting business.

“Absolutely!” said Sara. “We’ve built up a great clientele both in real life and on the web. Escorting lets us live very well, take vacations, and buy pretty clothes. And the money is good enough that we have a fair bit squirreled away.”

“I expect we’ll keep escorting for at least another couple of years.” said Trish, “We prune our client list by raising our rates pretty much every six months. We lose a few but interestingly, we actually have more clients at our higher rates than we did when we charged less. Having two girls on a date is a huge luxury and a big fantasy for a lot of men.”

“It’s funny really. We are not even slightly competitive with the other escorts in our city. We don’t do what they do and they can’t offer what we can. It’s a small, very selective market and in our city, we pretty much own it. Better still, through the website, we are being discovered by men who like this particular sort of two girl date and they will actually travel to see us.”

“There’s another thing as well”, said Sara, “Trish and I have a lot of fun doing our dates and our photo shoots. It is really sexy to get into gorgeous retro lingerie and a form-fitting dress and then go off for a wonderful dinner with your girlfriend and a man you know is going to pay you very well to entertain him. It is something we do together as a couple, and we are getting really good at it. We have our own little business which we both work really hard at making the best it can be. It’s a shared goal. It’s not all we do, but it is a huge part of our lives.”

“I started as a cam girl and, honestly, it wasn’t all that much fun. You were constantly trying to get guys to spend twenty dollars and you’d only see ten. Plus, you really never had any idea of who was watching you. Which some girls like, but it is really isolating. Escorting with Trish has meant we’ve met some great guys, had fabulous dinners, had the opportunity to wear beautiful things and never had to worry about the money. For most our clients, the money is the least of their worries.

“If you’d told me three years ago that I would be doing duo escort dates three nights a week, I probably would have hit you.” said Trish, “But that was because I really had never thought of how escorting could be done in a sexy, sensual way. And because it never would have occurred to me that my partner would be on all my dates.”

“A lot of our clients, usually when we’re done, will ask us if we’re a couple. We don’t hide it, and they know that what we’re doing we’re doing for them, but they can sense the erotic frisson which a couple naturally brings to an encounter.”

“So, yes, we’ll keep escorting for now; but we are also really enjoying creating e-books with our photo shoots and making videos. More and more of our actual income is coming from our non-escorting activities so we want to keep a balance.” said Sara.

“We joke about being the dynamic duo; but the reality is that if you stop moving, you end up in a rut. Neither of us like ruts, so we keep moving.”

38 | IVY LEAGUE ESCORTING

When The Atlantic covers Ivy League Sugar Babies, you know for certain it is time to pay attention. The fact that college girls are flocking to Seeking Arrangement and similar sites is hardly news. But what is interesting, and what escorts should note, is this:

‘Dating a college woman fulfills these guys’ wildest dreams. They want someone highly educated who is eager to learn’, said Parinda Wanitwat, director of the documentary Daddies Date Babies, which profiles several college sugar babies living in New York City.

In almost every message Amanda receives on Seeking Arrangement, sugar daddies comment on how intelligent she sounds in her profile. Amanda has met more than 50 men through the site. All of them are well-educated, the majority are business executives.

Escorting is a business, and like any other business, is about making money. And adopting the tactics of a Sugar Baby can increase an escort’s earnings; money which would otherwise be left in her client’s wallet.

Many of the men who can afford the rates a high-end escort charges, have college degrees. Armed with a couple of key words in her advertising, a smart escort can aim squarely at this market.  “Intelligent”, “witty”, “student”, “artist” or “musician” all conjure up a more cerebral image. Mind you, “naughty” sends a message, too. The point is that you want to find clients who are looking for more than the standard escort offerings; those who focus on the escort as a person, rather than as a performance.

Sugar versus Escort

Most escorts are, necessarily, very clear about money. However, there is something to learn from the Sugar world. Back to The Atlantic for a moment:

I found that some, if not most, of the guys don’t want to talk about money. I suspect that’s because it kills the fantasy,” said Wanitwat. “They’re trying to pretend that these smart, beautiful women actually want to hang out with them.

For the Sugar Baby, this strategy makes sense as they are going to see their benefactors repeatedly and all financial arrangements have been agreed upon at the start. A discrete monthly envelope on the hall table needs no accompanying chit chat. The escort, on the other hand, has to assume that her appointment will be a one-time encounter. Therefore, she should dispense with the cash transaction at the outset, and never mention it so the client can happily get on with the fantasy.

Setting a high price for your time makes sense; this allows you to be flexible and generous with your time, knowing that your caller has compensated you well. So, for example, setting a luxury price tag for your hour and a half will ensure that you are paid for the minimum time and, if you hit it off with your client, (and you wish to do so), you can always add a bit of extra time.

In many ways, this is all about developing your instincts and your ability to make judgment calls. What is your first impression of your prospective client on the phone? Are you comfortable with each other when you meet? Is he interested in more than just the one thing? If you inquire what he would like you to wear, or if he’d like to meet for a drink before the date, does he respond positively? If you are alert, there are dozens of clues that add up to a profile.

In summary, what the Atlantic article reveals is that there is real value in sounding— and being— intelligent. In the Sugar Baby world (a ghastly term!), intelligence and education, matter. It is not enough to have a pretty face; one must have an interesting mind. But realistically, not all escorts have been to Princeton. What to do?

All Ivy: Smart Tips for Smart Girls

Herein a few tips on how to look and sound smart, educated and polished:

- Learn to Spell and Write. No, really, if a gentleman is looking at a set of ads whether on Seeking Arrangement or on BackPage, he is unconsciously noticing little cues as to what sort of girl he is getting in touch with. One big clue is whether she spells properly and uses grammar correctly. And it is an all or nothing thing. One spelling mistake does not prove you cannot spell, rather it indicates you do not care.

Your computer or smartphone is sometimes your friend (or foe) here. Yes they do have spell checkers pretty much built in but, unfortunately, those spell checkers are not perfect. They will pass its when the correct grammar requires it’s. Plus, the miracle of auto-correct can leave even a brilliant girl sounding somewhat silly. The trick is to write what you want to say in your ad in a program like Word and then run the spell and grammar checker. Then read it yourself. The machine is going to miss things your eye won’t.

- Cultivate an Elegant Reserve. Use suggestion and subtlety in your escort advertising and on your website. Emphasize the “encounter” and leave the sex to the imagination. This is wise not only from a legal standpoint, but it will also attract clients who are seeking more than just a mere roll in the sheets. Words like “relaxation”, “pampering” and, yes, “conversation” can signal that you are offering a real companion service.

- Look Smart. Something as simple as a pair of glasses in an ad tells a story. So do a few books in the background of your pictures. If you have a video, start with a shot of you reading.

- Sound Smart. When the prospective client calls, remember that you want to be professional. A pleasant telephone manner is essential. “Giving great phone” can do wonders for your career.

Clever girls are also organized. They have an appointment book or a calendar application and they use them.  They certainly don’t get into graphic detail about any services which might be performed for a consenting adult. But they are more than happy to spend some time on the phone asking a few questions to their perspective client. And, at the same time, they get the details they need to screen him whilst getting an impression of the gentleman they may entertain.

- Be Calm and Collected. Girls who are smart (and smart about escorting), are very clear about the fact their dates are not rush jobs. Instead, they structure their appointments for a minimum of an hour to an hour and a half, but in reality, they don’t watch the clock so the timing is somewhat open-ended.

- Be Smart. Stay abreast of current events – and I don’t mean the Kardasians.   Start with current affairs, sports, politics, film, art, fashion and science. Then add religion and philosophy. (You already know about sex, right?) You don’t have to be an expert in any particular field, just able to converse on a wide range of topics, ask pertinent questions, exchange ideas and, above all, have an informed opinion. If you have let your intellectual life languish and think you can never catch up, don’t despair. In fact, some so-called “experts” can often be one-dimensional bores when it comes to dinner party conversation. So don’t worry about your own conversational credibility. Anyway, a dash of wit, charm, and humour always makes up for any gaps in knowledge.

- Be Curious. Learn something new every day. Expanding you mind is about making an effort and turning learning into a routine.

Read. Books (start with one per week). Shades of Grey may be a bestseller, but read widely from many genres. The classics have survived for a reason; these authors knew how to tell a story. Try Proust, Hemingway, Dostoevsky, and Flaubert. Read magazines from many perspectives: Vanity Fair, Rolling Stone, The Economist, Bon Apétit, Town & Country, Architectural Digest, National Geographic, Vogue.

See Foreign Films. Go beyond the Hollywood blockbuster.

Expand Your Vocabulary. Sign up for the word of the day. Then use it.

Be Informed. Choose a couple of good sources for news. Getting a sense of political and economic issues is all a matter of time. You are not going to learn the ins and outs of the Federal Reserve in ten minutes from a standing start. Instead, make a point of reading a few articles daily. The front page of Google or Yahoo News will tell you what is breaking. Then take a look at a middle range British Newspaper like The Telegraph – reading a non-American source automatically adds huge smarty pants points.

- Be a Student. Take a class, attend a lecture or talk, or dive in headfirst and go to university. Develop an insatiable thirst for knowledge.

- Cultivate Culture. We live in a very fragmented world. The fast paced beat of technology can leave one feeling frazzled and disconnected. Unplug yourself and go to art galleries, museums, concerts. Or express yourself by painting, singing, playing! Dig into what you love and embrace it. And that doesn’t necessarily mean going with the flow of what is popular— march to the beat of your own drum. Whatever it is, be passionate about it.

- Learn a Language. Especially if you live in one of the more international cities in America – New York, Washington, San Francisco or Los Angeles. Mastering another language at a conversational level will lead to all manner of rewards. For one, it opens up new worlds along with new words. And it makes you more cosmopolitan, able to cross countries and cultures with ease. A smattering of French means that Paris is just slightly less intimidating. And if you decide to rent a petit apartment on la rue du somewhere, you know you can at least order lunch. For an escort, you don’t have to be fluent; but the ability to speak a foreign language or two will put a whole new set of clients in your range and gives you a real competitive advantage. Foreign businessmen are enchanted with a girl who makes an effort to engage in his dialect.

- Eat & Drink & Be Merry. The world of great food and good wine is a place where a polished, Ivy League girl is right at home. You can be, too. But simply eating out in good restaurants is not the same as making Julia Child’s Beef Bourguignon or offering your caller coffee with biscotti you baked yourself. As Virginia Woolf said, One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.

- Embark Upon an Intellectual Quest  - Spend time with ideas. Those girls at Yale have paid $200,000 to be exposed to the best ideas in the world. You, with a smart phone and a set of headphones can watch TED talks and hear some of the best thinkers alive talk about their ideas. It may all seem daunting at first but jumping in for twenty minutes won’t hurt a bit. Reading and studying is all very well, but travelling to places that inspire you is one of the best mind-expanding exercises there is.

- Practice Intellectual Foreplay - Instead of asking a client what he “does”, (which is the lamest conversational ploy of all), ask him what he’s reading. Or what he loves to do in his spare time. Or his passions, if you dare.

And remember, it not just what you say, but how to say it. Ask direct, but polite, questions. Never be pretentious, crude, or rude. The most mesmerizing woman in the room is not always the most beautiful, but the one who can present her ideas and passions through elegant word and gesture. You can be animated, expressive, and fervent in your convictions as long you are being authentically you. And if you have cultivated your mind as well as your manners, you will not fail to charm your audience. But as important as speaking, is knowing when to be silent. Conversation is an art, but so is listening.

Putting It All Together

Escorts are offered the great gift of a certain amount of down time: waiting for clients, waiting for the phone to ring, having all afternoon before your five o’clock appointment. Time to use or waste. If you have ten minutes, scan a newspaper; half an hour, watch a TED talk; all afternoon, dig into a good novel. Plugging into an audio book when at the gym is not only a diversion, it’s an opportunity to work out your mind as well as your body.

Your brain is really like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets. The fascinating thing is that as you read, learn and think, it all begins to connect. For instance, a news story gains resonance because history provides the back story and context.

So now it’s time to turn the Smart Girl-Sugar Daddy theory into practice. As the documentary director at the top of this article stated, “Dating a college woman fulfills these guys’ wildest dreams.” What this really says, in essence, is that men who want to take care of smart girls and seek out their company and companionship as well as their intimate favours, actually, nay ultimately, want someone to talk to. And someone to listen to them. Sex is easy to find; a smart engaging girl is much rarer.

If he finds you as the result of an ad in which you describe yourself as “bright” or “intelligent” or “a student”, your client has already selected based on something more than your killer body. (Though, no doubt, he’ll be happy with that as well.) If you are articulate and well-spoken when he books his appointment, you raise his expectations another notch.

If you are wearing something lovely for your date and, in Ivy League girl style, have minimal make-up, a mere whisper of perfume and shiny, touchable hair, he’ll already be pretty certain that he has hit the proverbial Goddess Girl jackpot. A clean, neat, and simple but stylish abode – suggests you are mindful of your surroundings and that you have exceptionally good taste. Books do furnish a room and even a small bookshelf with a couple of dozen books—real books, not Oprah books— is another sign of a well-stocked mind.

While there are certainly conventional questions to be asked as you sit with your client, why be conventional? One great ice-breaker, when you know a client has come in response to your ad, is to ask him what he liked about it that prompted him to call. Asking challenging questions is what smart girls do.

Of course, there will be clients who are tongue-tied and, I fear, in escorting as in life, there are always men who are both boring and loquacious. (But, unlike a girl at a cocktail party, an escort does have the option of moving the proceedings apace.)

Embracing life and learning with an open and optimistic attitude makes an escort an appealing date for intelligent men. If the gentleman caller leaves with the sense his encounter has been physically enjoyable and mentally stimulating, he is far more likely to want to spend more time with the clever creature who managed to engage all his faculties. So he’ll call back and the escort will have a regular.

Of course, just like exercise, raising your intellectual bar is worthwhile in itself. Knowing more about the world, learning more about the food and wines of interesting places and being able to tell a Mondrian from a Matisse makes you a more interesting, more engaged person. While you may start out to impress your clients, you’ll end up impressing yourself. Who knows, maybe you’ll take your enhanced earnings and go to Yale.

39 | MATURE ESCORTS

Mature escorts have a lot to offer. Their experience, their knowledge, their understanding of what men want and need, but most of all, it is their maturity that is desirable for sophisticated men, as well as nervous beginners.

There is no basis to compare and contrast the older escort with a younger girl; they are offering essentially different experiences. But where the marketing of a 20 year old is likely to focus on the physical, a mature escort can offer a more relaxing, indeed liberating, experience.

Professional marketers will tell you that buyers are not sold on “features”, they are sold on “benefits”. Or what they perceive as benefits. A service needs to address its customer’s particular issues and give them what they need (or think they need). Escorts are in the service business.

Some clients can define their needs pretty bluntly: a blow job from a pretty girl is nothing if not direct. There are lots of those clients out there. But there is another group whose needs are not so well defined. Reaching those potential clients requires more than a cute selfie and enticing words. In practice, it means marketing the intangibles of the escort experience and, in many cases, a mature escort is particularly well-suited to this.

Men seek an escort experience for a host of reasons: they are dissatisfied with their current sexual partner; they may not be able to obtain one or more of their sexual desires with her; or they may not have a partner at all and don’t want the complications of dating and sex. More broadly still, they might be reluctant, embarrassed, or unable to articulate (and thus, fulfill) the desires they have been lusting after. When a commercial solution is sought, an older escort may be the perfect solution. She combines experience, a non-judgmental attitude, wisdom, and a capacity to understand and recognize what the client may not really acknowledge himself. Maturity brings a measure of honesty and acceptance to an erotic encounter. And in the best instances, compassion and kindness as well.

From an advertising perspective, by de-emphasizing the pure service-provider model and focusing instead on the virtues and desirability of an older woman, a mature escort can successfully attract a unique clientele. Here are some ways to find them:

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Headline: Elegance & Experience

Copy: Take time for yourself with a beautiful, elegant, experienced woman. Let me ease the stress of your day. Let’s find your greater pleasure together.

Headline: Mature, Erotic, Gracious

Copy: Pleasure begins with intrigue. A sip of wine, a flash of stocking, and the sensuality only an older woman can completely deliver.

Headline: Here’s to you Mrs. Robinson

Copy: Do you adore gorgeous women? Want to learn more? Come and be seduced by a mature beauty with a deliciously erotic imagination.

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The advertising will gain you attention as a mature escort. And most importantly, you have created your own niche. Set yourself apart from the crowded, virtually identical ads that the young must rely on. But not you. By being savvy at marketing, you can attract a better class of client, and conceivably, raise your rates. This means more money for you.

The mature escort’s web site should reflect her unique blend of availability and sensuality. The key concepts of relaxation, comfort, open-mindedness, safety, and experience all play a role. And the escort’s own confidence needs to be a part of her attraction. The promise, in the advertising and on the website, is that experience and confidence allow the older escort to explore the realms of sensuality which are only available to a woman of a certain age.

A wise woman will screen her admirers. Their voice on the phone will often give away their age. Ask them what they might be interested in. Part of the screening process is that a mature escort is not at all unwilling to say “No”. She is qualifying her customer and making very clear her expectations.  She can charge more because she can offer more. And, as everyone knows, you get what you pay for. Make yourself worth a lot. Offer a whole package, not merely a body.

To a degree this “inner beauty” strategy which looks to place the older escort apart from the purely physical competition. And, of course, an older woman has the great advantage that she knows how to look her best.  A well-kept, trim 55 year old woman can be more alluring than all but the most beautiful 20 year olds. And she brings all those years of sensual experience to bed with her.

As importantly, she brings a wealth of human experience to her appointments. There are lots of men who want, and often need, the combination of wisdom and eroticism. Key concepts like “caring” and “understanding” signal the mature escort’s ability to go a distance beyond the purely physical.

Not that there is anything wrong with the physical. Any escort knows that part of her client’s expectations will be a thoroughly grand time in bed. Here again, marketing the older escort’s experience works wonders. Simply saying that “I know men intimately, their pleasures, their desires.” gives the prospective client a clear signal he is in for a treat.

The mature escort can also play up her professionalism. Mentioning “over a decade as a gentleman’s companion” gives a client a sense of security. Putting yourself into the hands of a skilled professional is much more attractive than meeting a 20 year old for whom this might be her second appointment. High-powered professional men like women with style and panache who are likewise, good (very good) at what they do.

Which means it is very important for the older escort to get the business details right. Be precise with the booking details, tell him where to park. Tell him what to bring – if anything.

An Older Woman

An appointment with an older escort can be many things; but the older escort is wise to keep an even, gentle, pace. The idea of “unhurried” gets lip service in escort ads but should infuse the mature escort’s encounters. Light candles, pour champagne, run a bubble bath….create a sensual ambience.

But make no mistake; the older escort is always, and explicitly, in charge. Not in a domina sort of a way, rather she sets the agenda. Perhaps elegant hors d’oeuvres accompany that bubbly – and a good deal of delightful conversation. By the end of the encounter, the client should not only be sexually replete, he should also have had the sense of having been pampered. Money well spent he will conclude. Done well, the escort will have him wanting not only more, but her.  She has created a regular and loyal client.

The older escort has a great deal more latitude as to what to wear for her appointments. Anything from a pretty dress, stockings and lovely shoes through to a Hollywood glam peignoir set and sexy bedroom mules. More importantly, the older escort takes it as her prerogative to dress for her own pleasure rather than attempting to conform to a particular view of how escorts “should” dress. Critically, the older escort does not try to pretend to be twenty no matter how fit she may be. If her client has a thing for schoolgirls or cheerleaders she is certainly happy to arrange, and perhaps oversee, a date with a younger escort who will not look ridiculous prancing about with pom-poms. Maturity means acting with elegance and dignity.

A woman of a certain age has the luxury of acting her age, yet with all the passion and wisdom that her years have brought her. Her clients will return again and again for an experience which, while they perhaps cannot quite define it, leaves them relaxed and deeply content.

40 | SUBURBAN AND SMALL TOWN ESCORTING

It is easy to think of escorting as a big city, urban activity. But there are escorts who never see the downtown core and don’t want to. Instead, they live, work and play in the suburbs and smaller centers in America. It is an escorting life which can be very different from the in-call or hotel out-call world of the downtown girl.

Escorting outside the downtown core makes sense when you look at the transformation of American demographics in the last 40 years. The suburban and ex-urban population has increased radically while many American downtowns have been hollowed out. And it is not just where people live which has changed, it is also where they work. Businesses have moved to the ‘burbs. All of which has created a market for escorts.

I spoke to three girls each of whom had a different and interesting take on escorting outside the city centre.

Candace: In a Suburb Near You

Candace is thirty two and has been escorting for four years. She works from an in-call location in a suburb of a large city in the Pacific Northwest.

I almost never go downtown. Who needs the hassle of the traffic and all the really strange people you have to deal with just walking along the street. So I was pretty sure my potential customers were going to be just as happy to see a girl nearby rather than going over the bridge and down the freeway.

The biggest issue with escorting in the suburbs is how your customers can find you. I like a steady flow of clients. I’m not high-volume, but I’m not low-volume either. If the money is right, I am delighted to do short dates. Sometimes I actually prefer it. I’ve done some advertising and that has worked pretty well. But what really works for me is my website. My advertising is all designed to push clients to my website and that makes life much, much easier.

I won’t say I have wicked web skills but I can edit my site, put my own pictures up, even announce “Specials”. Plus I have a Twitter account. Everything I do is designed to be local. But it is targeted to the suburb next to where I actually live. My in-call is a ten minute drive from my house but it is like being in a different state. Where I live is a bit of a hipster ‘burb. It has a real Main Street and micro brew pubs and some galleries. Where I target my marketing is a very white bread, upper-middle-class bedroom community with three big malls and a lot of playing fields and golf courses. Everyone there drives an SUV or a mini-van.

As far as I can tell I am the only escort who really makes a point of working in that ‘burb. And I am really discrete. My in-call is an apartment in a complex with a mall attached. So my clients are able to visit without drawing any attention. I have a unit which it took a long time to find because it has an entrance which really can’t be seen from any of the other units. Privacy is key.

I have a surprising number of commuter appointments. Guys going to or coming home from work. Which means I actually start pretty early. I will book as early as 6:30 AM. After that, my day is usually pretty open until about 4pm onwards. Happy hour I call it. I am also busy on Saturdays but not early, mainly just the afternoon and then the evening is always booked.”

My clients tend to be ridiculously scheduled. If they are on their way into work, they have 45 minutes tops; going home it is pretty much the same. And they are pretty much all married.

I don’t really talk to other escorts, but I do read some of their websites. The biggest difference I can see between girls working downtown and my business is the number of regulars I have. At least two-thirds of my bookings are regulars and I have a lot of standing “dates”. Which I really like because once you have had a couple of dates with a guy you know exactly what he likes and you are both a lot more comfortable.

I don’t charge quite as much as some of the girls downtown. But I have been moving my rates up every year. Of course my overheads are a bit lower. My clients want a nice clean place and a friendly, eager girl. I don’t have to get super dressed up; but I make sure that I have on a pretty outfit and cute lingerie.

I have never had a problem with law enforcement mainly because I am really careful to avoid any activity which draws attention. Even the public side of my website is suburb friendly. I am pretty sure the police know I’m here but as long as I am not attracting attention or doing drugs or partying at 3AM it really is not worth their time to hassle me.

The number one thing my clients are looking for is discretion. Of course they want a safe environment and a safe girl, but as I said, they are all married and they want to stay that way. They come to see me for a bit of a thrill, perhaps for an adult activity which their wives are uncomfortable with or which they are shy about asking for. But they want super clean and super careful. Which is just what I am in business to give them.

If I wanted to, and if I stayed in shape which I work at, I am pretty sure I could run this little business for as long as I wanted to. My clients are not coming to see some 22 year old with fake tits, they want a real woman who is happy to take care of their needs without a lot of hassle and absolutely no drama. It’s a steady business.

Jill: In a Small Town By a River

Where Candace has a separate in-call and a website to find clients, Jill has a completely different approach.

I live in a little college town. And when I say little, I mean it. Official population is 3,000 not including the kids going to the college which is the center of town. It is a great school. I know, I went there which is how I ended up living here. Believe it or not I got a degree with a combined major of economics and animal resource ecology. Lots of applied math. In my fourth year I found this amazing cottage which backs onto the river. It is actually an old boathouse on an estate. The rent was amazing. So, I stayed.

When I finished college I was offered a part-time job in the economics department helping a prof with some research. I took that job and enrolled in the Master’s program. My expenses were covered and I was doing some writing. Pretty idyllic until the job ended. I wanted to stay in my cottage but I needed to make a bit of money. So I looked around and found, well nothing. Unless you worked at the college there is really nothing else to do in town. I was lamenting the lack of jobs with my wonderful old professor and he, jokingly, said, “Well, the Scarlet Woman niche has gone begging for years in this little place.

I laughed. But then I got a little interested. I had never done anything like that but I liked men, liked sex and was pretty good at it. I read up a little and realized that my prof was right, there was a niche. The funny thing about college towns is that they attract a lot of alum who make their pile of money in the city and then decide to buy a nice house in the country to eventually, retire to. There are a lot of very well off gentlemen in this area actually. And, no doubt, some of those men would like some company and would be willing to pay for it.

The problem was finding them. While it would have been fun to put a note up at the community bulletin board, it was not quite as discrete as you have to be in a small place. Instead I placed a very small ad in the personals column of the local paper, “Young lady seeking mistress-type relationship”. The newspaper was wonderfully old fashioned and you got a numbered box for your replies. I went in and checked every couple of days and, by the end of the week, I had six letters. So I wrote each back and made arrangements to see three of them. We met for coffee and I have to say all three of them were very suitable. Unfortunately only two were able to afford my rates. But that was enough, and I was “in business”.

I ran my ad one week a month and I have gradually built up a group of clients. As I expected (and hoped for), they are all older, my youngest is in his late forties. Some are retired or semi-retired, some are still working but come up weekends.

While I understand the “service-provider” model, that is really not at all what I do. Rather I spend a few hours with a man: in the summer we’ll sit out on the balcony overlooking the river for a while and chat and sip wine and have a few bits of cheese; in the winter I have a great fireplace and the wine goes from summer white to winter red.  My cottage has two bedrooms one of which I use for business.

I am very careful about screening my clients simply because my cottage is secluded and I don’t want to see anyone I am not absolutely sure of. And one of the joys of a small town is that it is surprisingly easy to check someone out. Along with the usual internet searches, if I have the slightest doubt, I will check the references I ask my potential client to provide. My official story is that I am a contract researcher who has been asked to do some work for Mr. Smith. When I call, I explain I am looking for a personal reference and, usually, it is hard to get the person off the phone.

I don’t think the town police have any idea there is a Scarlet Woman at large in our little town. They might have noticed a little extra traffic heading down the road towards my cottage, but I doubt it. All my transactions are cash, and I have a bank in the next town which is about forty miles down the highway. I am very regular with my deposits and no one seems at all curious.

At most I have fifteen dates a month and at least ten of those are with very regular clients. It is, frankly, an almost perfect part-time job. Well paid and I have my mornings and most of my afternoons to myself. I finished my Master’s degree and I have a couple of good writing jobs which keep me busy. Most of all, I have my time to myself. Which really matters to me.

Lisa: The Life of the Party

Not the case with Lisa: “I’m what you’d call a party girl. I like to party a lot and I love to get paid to do it.”

Lisa is twenty-four, tall and very curvy. I started as a dancer. I worked in a few gentleman’s clubs and while I liked the money, the hours were ridiculous. One night a guy came into the club I was working in and we got to chatting. It happened that he was looking for a couple of girls to do a stag for a friend of his. Dance, serve drinks and see what else came up. Well why not? I made $500 for the night plus another $500 in tips. Plus it was a lot of fun. We went until about three in the morning. Of course one of the guys at the stag was organizing another party a couple of weeks later and it just took off from there.

I live in one of those places which is sort of stuck between the city and the suburbs. I don’t mind the city but I am way more comfortable out in the burbs. I sort of fit in there.

I mean you have to be able to dance which I love to do. And sometimes they’ll want a toy show or something with two girls. All fun, all profitable and a bit later a few of the boys will want some private time which is always extra.

These are nice, clean-cut suburban guys. They want a bit of fun and usually a happy ending and I aim to please.

Once I got going, I put up a few ads. “Private Dancer for stags, card games and parties.” I have a website with a bunch of great pictures and no mention of consenting adult activities. Usually the party is at some guy’s house. I’ve done every sort of event. Stags are a big part of the business, but being a topless server for Super Bowl or playoff games is big. I have a monthly poker game with eight regular guys who just like having a girl around when they want to sit out a hand or two. Plus birthday parties. Thirty seems to be big, by forty I think most of the guys have settled down.

I guess what I am doing is escorting but it doesn’t feel like it. I mean I almost never see anyone just one on one. It’s always with a bunch of guys and often with another girl. I still dance once in a while at one of the clubs but the party circuit seems to be more than enough.

I have a few outfits. You know, maid, cheerleader that sort of thing. But mainly I am there to have fun and make sure the guys are having fun. Sometimes I have to break the ice a bit but that’s never too hard. The guys know why I am there and after a few drinks they’re all egging each other on.

I’m very safety conscious. I screen the guy who books me and I will usually drive by the location the day before to make sure it’s not some crack shack. A bit of Googling and a call to the guy’s place of work to confirm employment and I’m good to go.

Obviously some parties are way better than others; but I have yet to have a real hassle.

“Law enforcement is not a problem for me. The services I offer---dancing, hostessing, server, party girl---are all totally legal. By the time anything happens between consenting adults, I have a really good idea who the guys are, what they do. And they proposition me. My biggest worry is that I’ll get invited to a cop stag. But I guess that would be their problem.

In a lot of ways, I feel a lot safer and a lot better doing this than dancing in the gentlemen’s clubs. There’s a lot of low-lifes in the clubs. And a lot of guys who want a lot for almost no money. Plus there are all the house rules and the politics. You have to keep management happy and some of the top girls can be really bitchy. With my party business I am totally my own boss.

Realistically, like any other girl in the escorting game, I wonder how long I’ll keep doing this. The really late nights, the whole party girl thing. I mean I love the money. Coming home with a couple of thousand dollars for a few hours work is great. But not forever.

I’ve had a couple of guys ask to see me after the party. If I did do that I would want to be really quiet about it. Have another job and maybe see a few guys a week. Guys I’d already met at parties. I’ve done it a few times now and I can see why escorts have those sorts of dates. I might do more. But then I’d need a place which would put my expenses up. Right now I think I’ll just party.

---

Escorting comes in many flavours. Location can make a huge difference to a girl’s clientele and to the nature of the services she provides. Each of these girls have found an escorting business which is right for her. Maybe there is life in the suburbs after all.

41 | ESCORTING WHEN YOU WORK FULL TIME

In this economy, having a full time job is a huge benefit. Not just for the income but also for the benefits. At the same time, the money and adventure of escorting can be very alluring. Can you have the best of both worlds?

Maybe. But it takes real planning and a good deal of discipline.

Full time jobs come in a variety of forms. Some are 9-5; go in, do the work, go home situations; others involve shift work and still others have unpredictable and irregular hours. Each sort of full time job poses its own challenges if you want to combine it with escorting.

Just as full time work varies, so does escorting. Some girls prefer the service provider model where they see several clients a day, others look for fewer but longer dates. Both styles can work with a full time commitment to another job. Again, it is all about personal and professional management.

Time Management

At a very basic level, an escort who also has a full time job has nothing more than a bit of a time management problem. She needs to fit her escorting around her working hours. For girls with regular hours, this can be no more complicated than not accepting dates before, say, six o’clock in the evening if you are off at 4:30. With less regular hours it gets trickier.

Taking control of your time in a work situation without causing disruption or, worse, suspicion is the first thing a girl wanting to combine escorting with full time work needs to do. Weekends are easy and, for many escorts, a nicely lucrative time. Making sure that you are able to leave in time to get ready for your escort dates is pretty straightforward as well. Telling your supervisor that you are taking classes in night school or that you have a regular exercise/yoga class provides lots of cover.

If you are planning on escorting while holding down a job with variable hours you may have to change up the story slightly so that there are, say, two days a week where you have to leave by a set hour. Those days can be for early dates. The rest of the week you work the hours required and simply book your escort appointments a bit later in the evening.

Booking

So once you have worked out the hours puzzle, how do you book those appointments? At work, having two phones is deeply suspicious and answering one with a name no one in your office has heard will certainly get you talked about. There are a couple of solutions. First, you can sign up at an escort agency. A good agency, and they very definitely vary in quality, will be able to accommodate your schedule and you’ll be able to go to work knowing that the agency will handle your escort bookings.

The problem with agencies is that they are taking a big chunk of your revenue. A 50/50 split of fees, even 40/60 is not uncommon which means you have to work twice as hard to earn the same money you would as an independent escort. You have to assess whether the convenience is worth the cash.

If you decide to stay independent, you have to look at alternatives for your escort bookings. A simple alternative is to set hours where you will be available to take booking calls. Of course, as booking an escort is often an impulse purchase, you will likely miss a fair number of potential dates. You can try using email only and checking from your work but that has drawbacks as speaking to a potential escort client is a key part of the screening process.

One very practical alternative is to hire a “booker”. As Dating.com’s intrepid Sarah Brooke details in her ongoing series, “A Glimpse into the Shadows,” a booker manages the business side of an escort’s life. Not just taking calls but answering emails and texts, placing the escort’s advertising and often screening new clients. In exchange, the escort pays her booker a percentage of her fees from her dates. Paying a booker 20% versus an agency’s 50% cut makes good business sense right off the top.

Finding a booker can be tricky for an escort. You have to trust her with the fact you are escorting and, perhaps more importantly, you have to trust her character judgment. After all, she is responsible for weeding out the creeps and sending you only your preferred escort clients. When you hire a booker it is a good idea as she is learning the ropes, to do a confirming phone call with the client shortly before the escort appointment. This way you can check your booker’s assessment. Ideally, a friend that you know and trust can make your two work lives sync.

Keeping Work and Escorting Separate

This might seem obvious, but you don’t accept escort dates with people from the company you work for. However, what is not so obvious is how to avoid escort dates with people who work for companies which are your company’s suppliers or who provide it with professional advice.

In a sense, the professionals question depends on what your full time job is. There are lots of positions where a girl never sees people outside the company so she does not need to worry about her escorting overlapping. As well, so long as a girl is not escorting under her own name, a voice on the company phone is tough to connect with the escort you’ve hired for the evening.

For extra security it is not such a bad idea to put some distance between what you look like at work and what your look like escorting. Some of this is natural – after all you don’t wear a slinky little black dress to the office – or at least you shouldn’t. But even things as simple as keeping your hair up at work and wearing a pale lipstick and very little eye make-up and then, for your escort encounters letting your hair down and switching to a sultry scarlet lipstick will make you look like a completely different girl.

Of course the best camouflage can be destroyed if you use your escort phone at work or are silly enough to use work email to communicate with your clients or your booker. Practice great communications discipline and your co-workers will never be the wiser.

Escorting Strategically

One of the best things about being an escort with a full time job is that you have an income whether you escort or not. This gives you the luxury of trying strategies to boost your escorting income while reducing the amount of hours you actually work escorting.

When escorting is your only income you really can’t afford to be too experimental. But when your rent is already paid you can twist the dragon’s tail and see just what you can do with your escorting business.

What may look like the limitations of running your escort business while you are working full time may actually turn out to be strengths. You have a limited number of escort hours available which means you have a lot of incentive to use them efficiently. You also want to keep your escorting activities well under corporate and co-worker radar and that gives you some helpful constraints as well.

Take a look at what a manageable number of escorting hours a week looks like for you. Do you want to work every evening and weekends or would two or three evenings a week and Saturday be more pleasant?

If you set your schedule carefully you will also have a pretty good idea of how many dates you can accommodate a week. You can work as much or as little as you like as an escort, and you have the freedom and flexibility to think about some escorting alternatives.

For example, you might look for a mistress arrangement on your Saturdays. Or, if you hit the jackpot, you can ditch your escort gig for good. Moonlighting as a mistress is the ultimate side job for a young career girl Four hours in the afternoon can easily cover your rent and provide an attractive allowance. I don’t like the term Sugar-Daddy but those sites offer one method of finding an “arrangement”.

At the same time, a brilliant ad in, yes, the old style print media in the classified section can work wonders. Nothing flashy, just a simple invitation:

Make me your Mistress. Enticing, educated young woman is seeking a special someone. Enjoy pampering, pleasure and delight. For gentlemen of discerning taste. Apply herein.

No picture, no email or phone number. Yes, it is old-fashioned but for some men it will be irresistible. Remember, you only need one. Be picky. Be patient. Run your ad weekly until you find the gem you are looking for. You have to have coffee with a few frogs before you find a prince amongst men.

Becoming a mistress is a long term commitment and, while a bit like escorting, brings with it challenges all its own. However, entertaining a patron of a Saturday or Sunday afternoon is a charming way to cover your expenses, and live well beyond your real income. Find the right man, who adores you and thinks you are a goddess, and the world can indeed become your oyster. You may be set with a not only the basics, but the luxuries as well. And, in some best case scenarios where you are kept for years, your career path may be paved in ways you couldn’t imagine before you met. You needn’t ever mention your other escorting activities and the fact you have a full time job will be a plus. Many men who would like a mistress do not want to feel the financial pressure of being her sole financial support. However, if he wants more of your time and attention, you can always switch your job to part time work, or even take a sabbatical from your career for a time. You and he can devise an arrangement that works for both of you.

If you have secured a patron, or even as you are interviewing potential patrons, it is time to decide whether to continue your escort business. Having a full time income means that you have the pure luxury of actually deciding if and how you will escort. And it provides the financial cushion necessary to allow you to experiment a little with your marketing and services.

Starting at the Top

Many girls sort of “slide” into escorting. They can’t make their rent and decide to put up an ad or they need to make tuition or pay off credit cards. Escorting in these circumstances becomes a matter of survival and that, I fear, is not a good start to any business.

Becoming an escort is attractive when you don’t have any money because, in theory, it has next to no startup costs. Sign up with an agency and you are pretty much on your way. The problem, of course, is that you are on your way to a destination which may not be the one you actually want.

Having a full time job when you start escorting eliminates a lot of the pressures which lead girls to settle for an agency or for a business which is all about being a service provider. There is more to escorting than half hour to hour dates with random hobbyists.

Because working full time provides an income, a girl can target her marketing efforts at her ideal market rather than the overall escort market. Which means your full time income lets you take your time planning your escort advertising, web presence and niche. You can set your prices high because you are not worried about making enough money to pay the rent this month.

Here is where the strategy lies. Depending on where you live you can decide to focus on very specific, high dollar, niches. Older men are always a good bet. They have more money and, usually, fewer demands. Better still, they have learned that you really do “get what you pay for” and, as an economist would put it, are relatively insensitive to price. Plus, as they tend to be better established and better known in the community, they will usually see it in their interest to be very discreet.

If that is your niche make sure that your advertising is to the point: “Over 50 only” will usually do the trick. So will setting yourself apart from other girls by keeping your advertising enticing rather than explicit. You don’t need twenty random phone calls from thrill seekers, you need one or two from gentlemen who are intrigued.

Precisely the same strategy can be used to address the out of town business client niche. Here the filter is “available at finer hotels” if you plan to do outcalls, or “near exclusive downtown hotels” if you are doing in-calls. Of course the great advantage of dealing largely or exclusively with out of town businessmen is that it is very unlikely your escorting activity will intersect with your work. It can happen, but in a large city it is just not likely.

The client profile of your escorting business is something you should pay close attention to. Different niches will have different arrays of escorting clients. Out of town businessmen tend to produce a series of single encounters because the clients are rarely coming to your city every week or every month. Older gentlemen are exactly the opposite with escort regulars being the rule rather than the exception.

For maximum discretion, it is wise to try to push the client profile of your escorting business in the direction of regulars. This reduces the need to advertise, screen and take the risks associated with seeing a client for the first time. Here again, having the income from a full time job means you can afford to develop the client profile for your escorting business which makes the business most cash effective while, at the same time, safe and pleasant.

Balance

Having made the decision to escort while keeping your full time job, you need to address the question of balance. Put simply, for every girl there is a point where her need for cash has to be set against how many clients she can easily see during a given week. This is an equation which varies greatly depending on the girl, the nature of her escort encounters, her pricing and, realistically, how demanding her straight job actually is.

If a girl can manage to secure a patron and price herself towards the higher end she might well have more than enough money seeing two or three gentlemen callers a week. And that is a pace which is sustainable for years. On the other hand, if an escort has a particular goal – a car, travel, a down payment on a house – she may want to see more clients.

The critical thing about escorting strategically is that a girl retains a great deal of control over her escorting life by planning and executing her plan in a disciplined way. Balance is achieved by setting specific goals for your escorting business. The obvious metric is revenue – set a weekly and monthly goal for gross and net income and see if you can achieve it. However, a less obvious but more useful goal is to set both a net escorting income goal and a total hours spent goal. At the end of the month you divide actual income by actual hours spent to find out what you are making per hour. See how you can grow that per hour number month to month.

Escorting, whether you have a full time job or not, is a business and needs to be taken seriously as such. If you are just looking for a little side income, being kept as a mistress is safe, easy and lucrative. It has a revenue cap but virtually none of the risks retail escorting entails.

However, a well-run, selective escorting business in addition to a mistress situation, can pile up money quickly when you are already drawing a salary from your full time job.

Which leads to a temptation: once you have established your escorting business you’ll be finding that even with a few dates a week you start making more money escorting than you do from your straight job. Plus, as a business, you get to deduct all sorts of things from your gross escorting income for tax purposes which means you can keep more of your escorting money than you can of the money from your regular work. So…why not quit the 9-5?

The answer will vary from girl to girl but the realistic version is that escorting income is more than a little fleeting. While many escorts work for years, many others have had enough after two or three months. Keeping your day job means that you are building a lot of financial credibility. Your business skills and credit score will improve, your bank balance will increase, you will have medical and dental benefits and, perhaps most of all, you will have a real story about a real life. Time spent as an escort is more than a little difficult to explain on a resume.

Achieving a balance between your desire for the lovely piles of money escorting can bring and the security and respectability which a job and even a career can bring, is a delicate thing.  A clever girl creates a solution which works for her.

42 | THE SOMETIMES GIRL

Escorting part-time, where escorting is not your main source of income, is appealing for many girls. It can provide a steady, cash-as-required income which allows an escort to focus on her dream job or other pursuits in the meantime.

By working as an escort part-time, a girl can be very selective and very targeted in her marketing approach. Because she is working for “side money”, a part-time escort has even more control over her time and her availability.

Women come at part time escorting from two distinct sides: one group is full-time escorts who want to “dial it back” and see fewer clients. The other group is women who have never been full-time escorts and don’t want to be. They are essentially building a side business from scratch. Each group has separate needs.

For an escort scaling back, the simplest thing would seem to be to just stop advertising and restrict her business to a stable of regulars. This may be effective, but not always ideal, because even the most loyal regular will, eventually, move on. A more strategic process is to reduce advertising and increase the focus of that advertising on the high value clients the escort is most comfortable seeing.

The process of moving to part-time allows an escort to assess her business. Many service businesses find that most of their revenue comes from particular types of clients and that by focusing on those clients they can improve their revenue. If an escort has, say, a dozen regulars and eight of them are over 55, she might focus her advertising effort on attracting more of those sort of clients and largely ignoring the rest.

The full-time escort has the advantage that she has the systems in place – a place to work, phone, email, website, banking, credit card acceptance –so her switch to part-time escorting is a smooth business transition.

For a girl just entering the business, there is an investment and a learning curve. Getting set up all costs some money up front. However, as her escorting is likely to supplement her existing income, these upfront costs are not impossible to meet.

The two biggest essentials she lacks are an established client base and knowledge. We have not talked much about escort agencies but, in the case of a girl just entering the business, signing on with a reputable agency can provide both clients, knowledge, and experience. It is often wise to try out life as an escort before you invest and commit. Even though agencies take 50% (or more) of the fee, they can temporarily provide a degree of support.

When a girl is ready to set up as an independent, she can do it with little more than an ad and a smartphone. The question is, what sort of escort does she want to be? For a part-time girl outcall may make the most sense. Of course outcall brings its own challenges.

Targeting

Try to precisely target your ideal client group. Travelling business men? Older men? These are all distinct markets. The general category businessman, covers a lot of ground, so what sort of business man and where is he to be found? For example, executives from out of town are a submarket and the where is largely determined by her location. A part-time, outcall escort needs to value her own time. Which means, that if you live downtown and the airport is a thirty dollar cab ride away, you will want to target businessmen staying, well, downtown.  Or be smart enough to tack on traveling expenses as part of your fee. A jet-lagged business man is going to appreciate you all the more if you make the journey and the effort to accommodate him.

A brief search on the internet will give you the names and locations of the best hotels. Also pay attention to which ones advertise in the local glossy magazines. Then go check a few out yourself. Sit and have a cup of coffee or a glass of wine at the bar (a client-garnering strategy in itself---but more about that later) and take note of the types who walk in and out. If the Louis Vuitton luggage is rolling past, you have found your ideal locale. And after all, if you have a choice of venue, and as a part-time escort you do, you will want clients who stay here.

Observe how the women at the hotel dress and present during office hours. Of course you will see female guests who are very much in tourist mode---sight-seeing casual wear reigns supreme at two o’clock. But you will also see plenty of business women in suits and office chic separates passing by. If you are doing your detective work at dusk, what of evening wear? If the hotel has a stellar restaurant that attracts even the locals out for dinner, you will want to fit in if you are arriving in the lobby ostensibly for a late meeting.

If you require an outcall bag it is a smart idea to make it a laptop case. More than enough room for an escort’s essentials – lube, massage oil, a few candles, a couple of old stockings, even a riding crop will squeeze in diagonally. By all means supplement this with a ladylike purse. Clever and beautiful is a formidable combination; businessmen are going to adore you.

Once you have scouted your hotels, it’s time to advertise. First thing to remember is that businessmen usually travel during the business week rather than on the weekend. So make sure your ad hits Sunday through Thursday.

What sort of ad to write to attract a man in the city for a short stay?

A few examples:

All Business on the Outside, All Pleasure Within

Elegant, seductive, escort seeks considerate businessman to conduct in depth discussions. Select downtown hotels only.

Or this:

Pretty Young Business Student

Looking to satisfy one special, business executive. Select downtown hotels only. An evening of intimate pleasure awaits. Available only one evening a week. Book now.

To accompany the ads, put up a couple of suggestive but fairly conservative, pictures. A white shirt unbuttoned to the waist either over nothing or a white, lacy bra, will give the right sort of gentleman the right idea.

The great advantage of working part-time is that you can have only a few appointments a week and still make excellent money. But here is the caveat: you have to charge high rates and give great service.

Part of your strategy is making sure that potential clients are aware that they are paying for a premium escort experience. And that means you must be clear and confident when they phone or email you. Set your rates for your companionship that takes into account a longer – think hour and a half or more – encounter. As well, recognize that the sort of businessman you are targeting is used to paying his lawyer, accountant, golf pro, hundreds and hundreds of dollars an hour. His lunch likely cost a couple of hundred and his first class ticket cost a couple of thousand. An evening with an enthusiastic young lady is much more fun than visiting his lawyer and likely more useful than his golf pro. His mantra is, “You get what you pay for”, so by assuredly charging a higher fee, and expecting to get it, you are saying that you are worth it. This fits with how high-powered men think.

An escort, part time or full time, specializing in businessmen should make sure that she designs her business to reflect her clientele. Pay attention to the details: “April Wren” is a name which a young career woman might have, “Curvy Candy” is not. Make sure that is the name which caller id will show on a phone you call. You will often be booking and confirming using email. Same rule applies: it maybe a Gmail address but it will look much better if the name is AWConsulting not HotEvening. Same rules apply for texting.

If you accept credit cards, and there are pros and cons to this, get a Square for your phone and set the Square account up for an innocuous name.

One key element in your part-time, businessman-oriented business, is charging a small – say $100 confirmation fee. This can be paid by PayPal at the time the client confirms his appointment. It is non-refundable. If you are queried about it, tell the truth: “Mr. Smith, I only book a very few appointments a month. So, if for any reason you have to cancel, my evening is lost.”

For a part-time escort, regulars are golden. A gentleman who is in your city once a month and always books with you, can, and should be, offered a waiver of the booking fee for his third appointment. But only if he is reliable.

For the date itself, have a solid cover story and make sure your client is in on the details. This avoids any issues with the front desk, hotel security or his colleagues if they happen to bump into you. You can be a designer, a journalist, an online researcher – it doesn’t matter – but it needs to be consistent with your client’s version of who you are.

When you go to his hotel, make sure you have his room number and his cell number and that he has yours. If he’s running late or if he cannot meet at the scheduled time, instruct him to text you to set up a new time. Your job is to make it easy for him to be discreet.

If the hotel has fairly intense security or keycard access after a certain time, make arrangements ahead of time to meet your client in the coffee shop or the bar. Or have your client leave a keycard for you at the front desk. A public meeting is another way for you to ensure your safety but many clients are hesitant simply because they are worried you might look like an escort. You can reassure them, but old myths die hard, and he has too much at stake to take chances. This pertains to his first encounter with a stranger, so put his mind at ease and dress like a stylish woman who looks like she belongs at an upscale hotel. Subsequent encounters will then need to be less surreptitious.

Make sure you arrive on time. Make your first impression memorable. Be punctual and put together, and sober. Remember, you are in business, too. Skirt, shirt and jacket with a softening scarf and minimal jewelry can hide a multitude of delicious lingerie, stockings and, most of all, attentive enthusiasm

At the end of a long day at the office, even the most ardent CEO needs to unwind. Taking meetings all day is grueling, especially at the senior level you are targeting. You are there to see to his needs, provide him with relaxation and an escape from the cares of the world. An evening with a pretty girl who focuses on his pleasure is one of the major appeals of an escort. She is a distraction; a diversion. She provides the gifts of pleasure, sensuality, flattery, and if she does her job well, becomes the well-deserved treat/reward her client gives himself whenever he’s in town.

If the business exec enjoys your conversation and company in addition to your other finer attributes and skills, you will build a client base in short order. If you are in demand, your business is successful and profitable.

43 | ULTRA-PART-TIME ESCORTING

While a majority of escorts escort as their primary job, there are lots of girls who will see gentlemen only very occasionally. These are girls whose escort activities are a tiny part of their lives but often a large part of their income.

Ultra-part-time escorting is a way of describing the business of girls who might see one or two gentlemen a month, or who escort for a short period every year or who are what might be called serial mistresses. In each case, these girls enjoy the hard cash the business brings but are adept at dodging the escorting lifestyle.

By design, these girls are hard to find. They advertise very discretely and will usually run an ad for a short period and then go dark. If they have a website, and surprising numbers do, it is often under the cover of a modeling website. Some use agents, most do not.

Here are three very different stories from three very different girls.

Kendra – Beauty on Occasion

“I suppose it is arrogant to say I am a beautiful woman. But that has been what I have heard since I was about fifteen. And I have been hit on by all sorts of men from the time I was thirteen. Which I can’t do a thing about. I’m well-educated and I have an excellent job as a pharmaceutical rep. I make a very good living driving and sometimes flying to see docs and talk about new medicine. I’m twenty-seven.”

“I don’t really think of myself as any sort of escort. But when I was in college, before I started earning great money, an older gentleman saw me sitting doing homework in a café. He came in and struck up a conversation. Very nice, quite charming and very flattering. He asked if I was a model and I told him I wasn’t and got the old line about “Well you should be.” I have heard that line too many times and the fact is I am only five foot five and I am curvy. Not classic model material, plus, what could be more boring than to stand for five hours being photographed? All of which I told him.

Then, right out of the blue, he propositioned me. For quite a bit of money. Now, he was not the best looking man in the world but he was interesting and genuine. Rather than saying “No,” which was my first instinct, I suggested that it might be nice to be taken for dinner at a restaurant I had wanted to try but couldn’t afford. “No promises.” He agreed and we had a lovely evening. Now, perhaps it was the champagne talking, but over dessert I found myself asking if his proposal was still on the table. He said it was and we adjourned to his hotel. I was sure the front desk would “know” and toss me out but I was nicely dressed and he was, I found out later, a very good customer of the hotel. I left, very late, with a lot of very crisp bills in my purse thinking, “Well how easy was that?”

My gentleman came to town every couple of months and would phone me a few days before. It was always the same routine, a little shopping for me in the afternoon and then an excellent dinner and off to his hotel. Perfect.

It occurred to me that if there was one gentleman there might be one or two more. I didn’t advertise, rather I kept my eye out for ads where a man wanted to “pamper” a girl in a “mistress-type” relationship. I have nice handwriting and I would answer the ads which struck my fancy with the suggestion that we might meet for drinks and discuss arrangements which might lead to our mutual benefit.

Now I was a little savvier and I would carefully vet any of the men I found as potential clients. If they would not agree to give me their real name and place of business, I would finish my drink and leave. But almost all of the men I wrote, and there were not that many, checked out.

While I loved the money, I was not counting on it and that meant I was ruthlessly selective. I was very clear about the fact I had no interest in the conventional once a week mistress-type relationship but preferred to see a man, at most, once a month.  A few of these gentlemen balked at my rates which was fine with me. I want to be a luxury a successful man can easily afford. If you can’t easily afford my rates, the whole idea is off to a rocky start. Best not to even go there.

When I got my current job, all that changed was that I had a larger territory in which to see gentlemen. It actually increased my business by a couple of dates a month which was fine. In all I’ve averaged 40 dates a year for the past couple of years. Always in cash and I expect and get lovely extras like brilliant lingerie and the occasional gift certificate as well as nice dinners and my hotel paid for when I am out of town.

I find that my clients tend to be older, forty at a minimum but fifty is more common. I am completely under the radar because I don’t advertise, don’t have a website and actually work under a version of my own name. As I say to my clients, “I like to leave no trace.” As almost all my clients are married they appreciate that.

I’ll probably keep doing this until I find the right guy to settle down with. I have to admit I like having a lot of cash over and above my job income. It lets me save a lot of the money from my job. Because I see so few clients I don’t have to spend a lot of money on clothes, a couple of nice dresses and a business suit which I would be buying in any case.

My only rule: no doctors.

Terry – Room Service

“I suppose it is a cliché but I work as a cocktail waitress at a very upscale downtown hotel. We have a dress code and rules about our hair and makeup. And, of course, the most basic rule of all is that you never date the customers. It is a great gig and lots of generous tips just make it better.

Of course one of the occupational hazards of cocktail waitressing are the idiots who think you will be delighted to accompany them up to their room after closing time. Rude, obnoxious and often drunk, these guys are pests. Very easy to “not date the customer”.

I’d been working at the hotel for about six months when I noticed that one of my fellow servers was being unusually attentive to a table with two, perfectly ordinary looking business guys sitting at it. So attentive that I made some comment to Jeff the bartender. “No mystery, the man on the left is a client of hers.”

I’d been around and I knew exactly what Jeff was saying when he used the word “client”. What I didn’t understand was that Jeff had made her “arrangements”. I found that out a few days later when Jeff asked if I might be interested in a client of my own. Apparently Jeff, as many other bartenders did I discovered, ran a sideline business putting business men in touch with girls who enjoyed earning a bit of money on the side. He wasn’t a pimp in any conventional sense of the word, but word got around that Jeff was the go-to guy in the hotel if a gentleman wanted his dance card filled.

He mentioned an amount of money which was just about exactly what I took home in wages and tips in a week. “What’s your cut?” I asked. “Zero. I get a nice tip from the gentlemen I refer,” he told me. I said I would think about it and asked him to let me take a look at any prospective clients who came in the bar. I left it at that.

Jeff didn’t have many clients. Maybe three or four an evening and it was not at all clear that any of the other waitresses were on the game. Once you knew what was happening, a few of Jeff’s “behind the bar” cell calls made more sense. So did the occasional arrival of nicely dressed, single women twenty minutes after Jeff placed a call. All very discreet. For Claudia, the other waitress, the routine was even more subtle; Jeff gave her a room number either at our hotel or another and when she went off shift off she went. It didn’t happen often. A couple of times a week at most.

After seeing what seemed to be perfectly nice men using Jeff’s services for a couple of weeks I had to admit I was intrigued. Which was just when Jeff said one evening, “Terry, I am a little stuck. One of my regular girls is double booked. My fault.” “OK” I said and he handed me a room number. “Thanks Terry. You can go off shift in ten minutes and I’ll cover your section. We’re pretty dead anyway.”

Luckily I had a nice outfit which I kept in my locker in case I wanted to go out after shift. I slipped into it, put on a bit of fire engine red lipstick and took the service elevator up to the twenty-second floor. All suites. No one around. I found the door, knocked and, well, you can imagine the rest. It was not unpleasant and very lucrative. My date was charmed when I told him this was, in fact, my first time.

So, that was two and a half years ago. I still work as a cocktail waitress, Jeff still hands me room numbers a few times a month and I still feel more than a little naughty watching the passing parade and paying special attention to my clients. Jeff never talks about escorts. In fact, Jeff treats me exactly the same as he treats all the other cocktail waitresses. I have never asked him how much he charges and I never discuss money with my clients. There is an envelope on the hall table which I take with me when I “freshen up”.

The one thing which is amusing is that, once in a while, a girl will try working in Jeff’s bar. You have never seen security show up so quickly. Jeff does not like competition.”

Helen – Twice a Week, Never on Sunday

“One month, the prospect of paying rent was looking particularly bleak. I was going to school, working retail on weekends and my boyfriend had just moved out leaving me with the whole rent to pay. I needed $300 and I’d seen the online ads. So I said, “What the Hell?” and put an ad up. What a dumb ad it was. I still remember it, “22 year old sweetie needs $300…suggestions?” and then my email.

I had no idea what I was doing and I had no idea how many guys would respond. I had a hundred emails in half an hour. Half of them wanted pictures, as explicit as possible. Another big batch thought sending me a shot of their dick would seal the deal. But there were a couple of guys who seemed alright and we chatted and one of them came over and I got paid. If I had left it there it would have been a one-time rent paying experience and I would have moved on.

But I didn’t. The other OK seeming guy kept emailing and so did a couple of others. And the guy I saw wanted to come back after his next payday. So instead of taking down the ad and moving on, I saw the other guy and changed the ad to read $500. Fewer emails but more OK guys. Then I took down the ad because I really did not want this to be a full time thing. I thought if I could get one $500 date a month I would make my rent and all would be great.

I live in a pretty small town, not tiny, but small and my neighbourhood is pretty tight. We look out for each other I guess. So I really couldn’t have guys coming over at all hours of the night several nights a week. I was too scared to do out-calls. I liked to be snug in my own apartment. So I made some rules. I only saw men between seven and ten and then only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. One date a night maximum.

I stopped advertising once I had six guys who I was seeing. Once in a while I run the same strange little ad but with a bigger number. I have never put my picture in the ad.

I suppose I am a pretty uninhibited girl. So far none of the guys I’ve seen have asked me to do anything I am uncomfortable with. A few have on email but I just tell them “no” and I don’t see them. I don’t like old men which for me is pretty much anyone over fifty. I could make more money I guess but not what I do. I don’t exactly dress up for dates, but I try to look nice in an alternative sort of a way. Lots of old lace from the thrifts and the vintage stores.

I don’t really have a set time for dates. Some last all of half an hour, some go three or four. It depends on what the guy is looking for and paying for. The one thing I am really clear about is I don’t want reviews. I say that right up front. It is just so gross. The only review I got was from a regular who said “This girl is so special I am not telling you her name or where she is or what she does,” and then emailed me the link with all the comments. Tons of fun.

I do get referrals though. It’s funny, guys used to have a big thing about “not paying for it”; now it is practically like artisanal beer. I get emails saying “Joe Smith says you are the best. Could I come over?”

So I am doing it for the money. Which I guess makes me an escort or a sex worker or something. It doesn’t feel that way to me. I like the money but that is the only thing which is really all that different from hooking up with a guy on Tinder. And who screens on Tinder? I screen hard.

One thing I have noticed: guys like that I’m a really low volume, provider. Makes them feel a lot safer. The other thing, guys will wait. I basically book one or two weeks in advance. Two dates a week means I have to say “Not tonight” a lot. But, I’m worth waiting for.

Here’s the thing, two dates a week and I make way more than I do working the retail job. Which I still have. I miss a couple of hours of TV or playing around on the net. I keep looking for a downside. I haven’t found one yet.

Occasional Escorting

Helen, Terry and Kendra have all approached ultra-part time escorting from different places. But each has found that seeing very small numbers of men, charging high fees and limiting their exposure allows them to make great money while keeping escorting a very small part of their lives.

Each girl has, more or less by accident, created a strong business entirely under the radar. Law enforcement is simply not a factor. Neither is a lot of marketing. Nor is there any great loss of privacy. For girls in the business who want to dial it back the whole idea of ultra-part time escorting can offer an attractive alternative to quitting and losing the income. For girls thinking of entering the business, the ultra-part time model is a way to make money without some of the life style challenges full time escorts may experience. Either way, ultra-part time is an alternative worth looking into.

A Higher Level

An elegant escort is always looking to improve her business, enhance her clientele and enjoy the feminine pleasures.

Once you have decided you want to escort it is worthwhile to think carefully about how you want to plan your business, manage your cash and what you would like to do after your escorting career is finished.

An hour or two on your own with a pad of paper and a pen can let you understand where your business is and where you would like it to go. There is no right way to be an elegant escort; rather every elegant woman will escort in a manner best suited to her personality.

44 | THINKING STRATEGICALLY FOR ESCORTS

Thinking strategically is the difference between a business which is moving forward and one which is simply standing still or, worse, falling behind.

For some escorts, thinking of their profession as a business at all is a stretch. After all, from a daily perspective, an escort can make money doing little more than placing an ad, screening and booking appointments and servicing her clients. It is not a difficult business and it can be lucrative.

At the same time, as an escort works she begins to learn things about the business, about her advertising, about how she likes to work. Assessing each business transaction/date allows an escort to discover patterns and to discover what works. Making a few notes and looking at the actual “cash in per date” will tell you a lot about your business. So will looking at the escorting scene in your city. (That’s what MBAs call Competitive Intelligence.)

Thinking strategically is about taking all that information and marrying it to a goal- setting process. A strategic plan is not about what you are going to be doing next week or even next month, but rather it is thinking about what you would like to be doing in six months or a year.

Strategic planners and MBAs love case studies. We talked to two escorts who, in very different ways, planned and executed on their plans.

Alix – From Random to Planned

“I got into the business casually. A friend of mine was escorting and she had a client who wanted a bit of variety. I was the variety. Nice, nice man who I probably would have slept with for free if circumstances had been different. But, all of a sudden I had $300 in cash and I told my friend that I was more than willing to see a few of her clients on a referral basis. She got a tip per referral and before you knew it I was seeing four or five guys a week.”

“It was great having a friend in the business, not just for the referrals – which were awesome – but to talk about the business of escorting. When I started I was only 21 so I guess I was a bit naïve. I really thought that I would just stay part-time and save a bit of money. I had a straight job, folding sweaters at a men’s store. I basically lived on what I made working retail and I saved a lot of the money I made escorting. I was seeing an average of ten men a month at about $300 per encounter so, with tips, I was averaging a little over $3,000 a month. Suddenly my bank balance went from non-existent to substantial.”

I decided to make a concerted effort to turn my once-in-a-while escorting gig into a serious business. I kept my day job, and turned my attention to my night job (escorting). If I could make three grand without even trying, what could I earn if I took it seriously? I never really thought of escorting as a business with budgets and expenses and timelines.

My goal was to do what I really loved – photography. I never go anywhere without my camera, and over the years I’ve gotten pretty good at it and developed a recognizable style. I sold quite a few pieces locally at a gallery and on Etsy, and got great reviews and a bit of a following which was really encouraging. So I set up a website and put my best work for all the world to see. And every so often, I’d make a sale. Then one day as I was walking my dog in the neighbourhood, I discovered a beautiful old warehouse building that I knew would make a perfect studio. It was a bit run down, but it had great bones--huge windows, high ceilings, just great style! I knew other artists who had live-work spaces, and even though I knew nothing about real estate, I knew I wanted this building. I was so excited that my dog and I ran all the way back home. Talk about motivation.

I wondered if I was just dreaming. But I sat down with a pad of paper that weekend and wrote down what it would take, and all the means of achieving it. Suddenly I had a goal, a direction. It was crazy, but really very doable. But to do it all right, I needed a budget. I was willing to work hard, but I knew I had to work smart. I asked for a promotion at work (and got it) and went from bored to actually enjoying my retail job. And my wages got a boost, too. As for escorting, I wanted to make a lot of money, but without just mechanically servicing clients.

And for that I needed to have a business which really appealed to wealthy men.  I have to admit, I also thought I should look for a sugar daddy. I live in a decent sized city which has a fair number of business guys traveling through.  Since my apartment is right downtown, I was perfectly situated to offer both in-call and out-call appointments for those business guys.

Having goals meant I was already working smarter. I hadn’t really advertised before but I started with an ad aimed directly at businessmen.  I had some sultry black and white photos of me taken and my bookings went through the roof. I went on a few go-sees with potential sugar daddies but that was not working out. So I concentrated on my escorting, fine-tuned my image, wardrobe, and apartment to appeal to an upmarket client, and raised my rates. It worked! A few months later I had my first $10,000 month. I bought champagne, and phoned the real estate agent. The key thing to achieving my goal was making a decision to escort in a certain way, and with a particular market in mind.

With a signed lease agreement in hand, and the keys to my dream studio in my pocket, my next plan was to figure out how to raise my revenues further. My first step was to build a base of regulars. Since I’m a bit of a marketing maven, I offered a package of treats: week-end travel dates; corporate arm candy; and, my biggest seller, the spanking. Then I coloured my hair blond, and raised my rates again.

Eventually, I quit my retail job and concentrated on my photography and my escort business kept me afloat. During this time, I discovered that I am truly an entrepreneur at heart. I would rather work for myself, even if it means working like crazy, than any other job.”

Alix is a great example of how setting goals, making a plan and executing on that plan can produce real strategic gains for an escort. She took what she was already doing, analyzed it, developed mid-term goals and worked towards achieving them. Alix had a plan- and a dream- and made it happen.

Donna – Dominating the Market

Donna had a completely different planning issue: she wanted to transition from escorting work to fetish and domination.

“I’ve been escorting for nearly five years. More on the service provider end of things. I have pretty good reviews and quite a few regulars but, well, look, the truth is I started escorting when I was thirty-four. You do the math.”

A few of the girls I knew who were working have been arrested in the last few months. There is a new police chief in town and instead of going after criminals, he assigned a bunch of cops to do stings. Most of the charges didn’t stick, but it was getting pretty tricky to know if a date was real

The great thing about domina and fetish dates is that clients expect the girls to be a little older. Plus, because most of these dates don’t actually involve sex, the cops don’t pay much attention to that particular niche.

The thing is, you can’t just switch overnight. So I had to think of a plan.

I realized that if I stopped my regular advertising and just saw regulars, I’d have about half my regular income which would be enough to keep me going while I built up a fetish clientele. So that part was pretty easy.

The hard part is that fetish and domination dates need all sorts of really expensive equipment plus the whole wardrobe a domina is supposed to wear. A basic leather corset is minimum $600.

The solution for that was actually having a meeting with a girl who was one of the leading dommes in my city. She was helpful, even though I was her competition. She told me that she actually wanted to shed some of her fetish dates and concentrate on pretty hard core S/M clients.

She had a fully equipped dungeon which must have cost her a lot – but she was only using it a few hours a week. We did a deal where I would rent it from her two evenings and one afternoon a week. It was expensive but it meant I could get my business off the ground without having to spend a whole lot of money up front.

I am pretty good with numbers and I realized that between my regulars and, say, four fetish dates a week, I would be making more than what I had been making doing straight escorting, even with the cost of renting the dungeon.

I still needed to pay for outfits and new photography. And advertising on some sites cost money. I wanted to put up a Backpage ad and I needed to have a pretty glossy image and the photos to go with it.

It took me a little less than three months to have everything lined up. I got lucky at a thrift store and found a vintage nurse’s uniform which was perfect for fantasy play. I went online and found a few places that sold plain corsets for less than $50. I developed a domina look that was unique and didn’t cost a bundle.

My biggest worry was that my regulars would not be able to find me once I stopped advertising as a straight escort. So I made a list of the regulars I really wanted to keep and made sure that when I next saw them I told them about my plan to stop advertising as a straight escort. I think a couple of them were really flattered that I made sure they knew how to reach me.

I decided that I would set a date to stop advertising my straight escort services and then immediately start advertising the fetish domina encounters. It was a bit scary, but it worked.

The fetish/domina business has done quite well. I am doing five to six dates a week, and after three months, I am right on track to meet my goals. And my regulars have been great. A little bit of planning has made the switch go very smoothly.”

If you look at what Donna did, you will see that she recognized two serious problems with her existing business model – she was aging; and law enforcement was cracking down – so she addressed both with a plan to transition her business. She gave herself a time-frame, found ways to reduce costs, and kept the revenue core of her business. Change is a constant in any business, but planning for change is what separates successful businesses from unsuccessful ones.

Ten Strategic Planning Tips

WRITE IT DOWN: Get a pen and paper and start making notes.

SET GOALS:  Either one big goal or a number of small ones. Write them down.

SET DEADLINES:  Draw a timeline – put your goals at one end and think about what you need to do to achieve them and how long each step will take.

BUDGET: Think about everything from advertising to lingerie – what will each of the items actually cost? Assess hard costs and look for ways to reduce them.

BUDGET FOR A PROFIT: Put together a revenue estimate – how much do you currently charge per hour? How many hours a week do you sell now? What will change if you reach your goal?

RESOURCES: Make a list of people who can help you reach your goal. Clients, patrons, other escorts, referrers, photographers, web designers – etcetera.

OVERCOME OBSTACLES: Identify the problems (current and future) – reaching your goals will mean overcoming roadblocks and the best way to do that is to have spotted them well in advance

BRAINSTORM: List alternatives – begin with “doing nothing” because that is always an option, but then carry on thinking big.

If at all possible, sit down with someone you trust and respect and discuss your plan. This can be a friend or it can be a client. The fact is that you probably have a couple of regular clients who are good at business and would be willing to help.

BE FLEXIBLE: Be ready to adjust your plan to reality.

Long Term Strategy

Setting a goal six months or a year ahead is a great first step towards strategically planning your escorting business. It lets you think beyond the day-to-day. However, a one-year plan is not the same as a long-term plan, and that long-term plan can be the difference between a successful professional career and just getting by.

Regardless of why a girl gets into escorting, there will come a day when she wants to exit the profession. Thinking about, and planning for that day, is all part of thinking strategically.

Some goals will be about money, but some of them will be about a life after escorting. What would you like to do? Where would you like to live?

Having a long-term financial plan is an important first step. Yes, it is hard to save while leading the escort lifestyle. Yes, it is unpleasant to pay taxes. But if a year of escorting leaves you with $5,000 in a bank account, you are miles ahead of a girl who might make more than you do, but spends all of it. Building a savings program into your plans will mean you will have some freedom when you decide to quit escorting or to reduce the hours you devote to the profession.

Money is one side of the equation, the other side is who you are and who you would like to become. Economists talk about human capital and that is all the things you do to make yourself more educated and employable. It is also the development of a career or a business outside escorting.

Part of any long term strategic plan needs to be the development of a “story” which will explain to a potential employer what you have been doing during your escort years. A big blank spot on a resume can cost you a job. So part of the long-term planning process needs to be filling in that blank.

Even a busy escort can make time to take courses, work a part-time job or start a at home business.

Long-term planning – thinking five to ten years down the road – takes many of the same tools as a short-term strategic plan. The essential difference is that a long-term plan will take into account the changes a girl hopes to make with her shorter term planning. In effect, a three year exit strategy is the sum of the yearly strategic plans.

Taking Time

Planning takes thought. It takes having some facts at your fingertips and the time to consider the paths that various decisions will lead to. While you can jot the facts down between taking bookings and seeing clients, to make a strategic plan at either the one year or the longer term level, means taking some time.

Sitting in your favorite café with your phone turned off and your notebook in front of you is the moment where you can take the time to think strategically. Ask the big questions: What do I want in my life? How does escorting bring me what I want? How can I change my escorting business to bring what I want more effectively?

These are not questions which you can answer in ten minutes between calls; but they can be contemplated as you walk to the café, as you sit enjoying your latte and as you open your note book and write, “My Goals”. With a destination in mind, the journey begins with a single step.

45 | ESCORTING BY THE NUMBERS

Getting hard data on the escort business is often difficult. It is, by its very nature, in the shadows and off the radar. The Economist, the oldest (continuous publication since 1843) and most successful news magazine in the world, recently (August 2014) ran a cover story called, The Sex Business: How Technology is Liberating the World’s Oldest Profession. (Read it here)

The Economist is a venerable, English-language, libertarian publication whose stated claim is it “is not a chronicle of economics”, but whose aim is “to take part in a severe contest between intelligence, which presses forward, and an unworthy, timid ignorance obstructing our progress”. It is read by a highly intelligent elite---men and women who occupy the power positions in law, government, media and finance. (And, if an escort is smart, she reads it too.) The Economist’s line on escorts is thus:

This newspaper has never found it plausible that all prostitutes are victims. That fiction is becoming harder to sustain as much of the buying and selling of sex moves online. Personal websites mean prostitutes can market themselves and build their brands. Review sites bring trustworthy customer feedback to the commercial-sex trade for the first time. The shift makes it look more and more like a normal service industry.

While it is interesting to see The Economist adopt a very tolerant view of the escorting world in its editorial, what is more interesting are the statistics and economic insights which pepper The Economist brief on the escorting profession.

Numbers

Escorting is a business and the aim is to make money.

So start with pricing. The Economist took a look at world-wide hourly rates for escorts from 2006 to 2014 and discovered that rates had declined from a high of just under $350 per hour in 2006, to a current level of just over $250 per hour. What is behind this decline, one wonders.

Of course, there is wide spread regional variation in the escort market which is hard to capture but The Economist manages to look at the rates and the cost of living (relative to New York City) in the cities in which they work. Girls in Boston top the scale with a cost adjusted hourly rate of  $370 while escorts in Tokyo are at the bottom with a mere $160 and hour. (Though The Economist notes that the low Tokyo rate may reflect the fact the survey did not capture higher priced girls who work outside the conventional, English language, escort market.)The law of economics prevails in the escort trade, too: you can charge more in big, expensive cities, but it costs more to live and work in big expensive cities.

The Economist then goes on to look at the prices for services performed that are “beyond the basic”. Essentially, what escorts charge for extras on an hourly basis. The service that tops the list is a duo, with each girl being able to charge an extra $120. Which suggests that a smart escort will have a close friend on her speed dial.

From there, multiple men, ejaculation in the mouth, oral sex and S/M all command premiums ranging from $100 all the way down to $25 for a spanking (given or received). The most lucrative extra is kissing coming in at $60, while, apparently, escorts only add $25 for anal sex. (A number I find more than a little surprising.) Again, pricing may vary by location.

For a girl looking at pricing extras, The Economist gives a ballpark figure. At the same time, the further up the escort ladder you are, the easier it is to charge more---sometimes much more---for extras. The Economist’s numbers are for an imaginary, average escort. Your own business is unlikely to be average. Plus, there is no obligation to provide all or any of the escort extras The Economist lists.

It is hardly news that an escort’s appearance counts in absolute dollar terms. According to The Economist blondes can charge $285 an hour whereas having black hair puts you under $250. For Caucasian girls, a $150 salon colour job will pay for itself in no time. Long hair is worth an extra $25 per hour.

Going to the gym is a hugely profitable investment for an escort. Girls described as athletic made an average of $290 an hour while girls described as average were $45 less an hour at $245. While there is certainly room for the BBW’s of the escort trade, they came in at $200 an hour.

The Economist’s researchers left no stone unturned and discovered, and here’s a surprise, that escorts with cup sizes D and above made an average of $30 an hour more than their less well-endowed sisters. If you are in need of a math problem try working out the number of dates it would take to pay for a $5,000 boob job if you are currently an A cup. The return on investment could be significant if you plan to be an escort for a number of years. (The Economist, sadly, does not report on the premium, if any, paid by the clients for escorts with naturally large breasts.)

Race also affects pricing, at least in the five centers where The Economist could obtain data. In New York, a white escort made, on average, $100 per hour more than a black escort. The gap was about the same in London England. In Washington, Atlanta, and Miami, the gap was narrower, less than $100.

Price pressure was created by three intertwined factors: first, escorts were seen as a luxury item and when an economy is weak or in recession, demand for luxury items-- including escort services-- is reduced. Second, in many cities, new immigrants kept supply up and prices down. Finally, in recessions and in areas of high unemployment, girls were more likely to enter the business on a full or part-time basis which also increased supply and put downward pressure on price.

A Grain of Salt

The Economist’s numbers on escorting come from a sample based on an unnamed review site with approximately 190,000 escorts listed. It sounds like a lot, but the reality is that every escort is different and every escort market place has its own particular quirks.

Every girl who works as an escort needs to assess at The Economist’s numbers from her own perspective. Essentially, they are a guide rather than a rule book. However, for an ambitious escort there are some interesting ideas underscored by The Economist’s numbers.

Probably the most important idea in The Economist article is that what an escort charges is only one part of the equation: the cost of living where she is working is a huge factor in how well she does. The more expensive the city, all things being equal, the less well off the escort is unless she can charge premium rates. But all things are rarely equal which is the problem with studies like this one.

The data on premiums for extras which an escort might provide is, again, interesting but also in need of significant revision when applied to any particular escort’s services. Extras are not, in fact, like extra toppings on a pizza: in many cases they represent services which are of great value to a small segment of a particular escort’s clientele but are of only limited interest to the rest of her market. A lot of the pricing information available on an escort review site is going to be based on the small sub-sample of the escorts who actually quote prices for the extras. A lot of smart escorts keep their extra prices off the Internet so as to be able to charge a price which reflects the value of the extra service to a particular client.

Information about how the price per hour varies with physical characteristics is potentially significant for an escort. With, of course, the caveat that a lot of the details are self-reported and that the averages do not really capture how any particular escort can market herself to achieve her best rates.

Using the Numbers

Having dumped the grain of salt on The Economist numbers, there is still a lot for a savvy escort to take away from the research.

First off, blondes may not have more fun, but apparently they make more money. If you are already a blonde you probably already know this. However, if you are a brunette escort it might be worth while to test The Economist’s numbers with a small experiment: try posting an ad with pictures of yourself in a blonde wig. While good human hair wigs are expensive, artificial hair wigs can be purchased inexpensively online. And, just for fun, and because these wigs are cheap, buy at least one with hair longer than your normal hair length. You can get wigs on Amazon starting at $10.00.

Following the Clairol ad slogan, If I have only one life to live, let me live it as a blonde,  according to The Economist, should allow an escort to charge $30-50 more per hour. Once you obtain your blonde wigs, take a few new photographs and put up a new ad where you normally advertise your escort services. (You can do this with your regular escort persona or, just for fun, create a brand new, blonde escort persona.) Keep track of the response to the ad. First, how many calls or emails? Resulting in how many bookings? Thirdly, do the potential clients blink at your new “blonde” rate?

If you get a solid response to your blonde wig ad, then it might be time to think about booking an appointment with a good colourist at a salon – (don’t try this at home, sometimes home colour works, sometimes it is ok, but sometimes home colour will just destroy your hair and, as an escort, that is one of your key assets). Alternatively, if you would rather wear a wig, then invest in one made of human hair. Although more expensive than their synthetic counterparts, $200-350 for long styles, they are worth it for their glossy, face-framing beauty.

A month-long experiment as a blonde escort is a great way to find out if The Economist’s numbers apply to you. It is also an opportunity to consider how you are marketing your escort services in general. Even if you do not achieve an increase in the rates you can charge, you will enhance your business having focused on marketing for a thirty days.

The Economist’s numbers on body shape and breast size are both interesting and useful.

“Athletic” escorts commanded nearly $50 an hour, on average, more than their “average” cohorts. Converting “average” into “athletic” is not just a matter of an escort going on a diet. For an escort to invest in her body, she needs to do more than just cut out the high sugar sodas.

Going to the gym, going for a run, are commitments which many escorts may need to work up to. However, a simple “muffin top” reduction program is remarkably easy. It has just two simple requisites: eliminate junk food and walk one to two miles a day. That’s it. No special equipment, no gym membership, no weight machines. Now, as advertised, an “average” girl can move to “thin” in a month or two and, according to The Economist, that move is worth $40 of the $50 extra dollars an hour “athletic” girls can charge. (And that sort of money adds up: if an escort is doing 10 dates a week, the shift from average to thin is worth $1,600 a month according to The Economist’s numbers.)

The Economist’s numbers on cup size suggest a $40 per hour differential between “flat” and “D+”. But before you rush out to have a boob job for $5,000 consider this: simply by shifting from brunette to blonde. or an “average” body to “thin”, an escort can capture those additional dollars without the need for surgery.

More to the point, the real advantage of “D+” breasts lies in the advertising potential they offer. What The Economist numbers actually mean is that escort clients are willing to pay a premium for the perception of larger breasts. A perception which a good bra and a clever photographer can create working with little more than standard “B cup” breasts. Not for nothing was the push-up bra invented.

But The Economist numbers are a solid indication that in advertising, an escort’s breasts should be, as it were, front and center. They confirm what marketers have known for years, namely, that breasts sell. Bearing that in mind, the savvy escort will take a look at her advertising and, if necessary, shift the focus to her breasts – regardless of size. (And, realistically, most men if pressed cannot tell a “B” from a “C” or a “C” from a “D” without looking at the bra label – which no stylish girl ever fails to cut off as it spoils the line of her bra and outerwear.)

The Economist’s insight into escorts’ rates versus the cost of living in her city actually tells the financially literate escort something important about how she should manage her business. The fact of the matter is that it is much more expensive to live in New York City than it is to live in, say, Austin Texas. And, while elite escorts can charge far more money in New York City than they can in Austin, for mid-range girls the capacity to charge more is constrained by the competition.

While some girls are quite happy to move to low cost environments, most escorts are not prepared to relocate. The savvy alternative to relocation is to keep a sharp eye on the costs of living and doing business. Simple example: spending a Saturday morning combing the thrift shops for pretty designer and vintage clothing is a huge money saver. I’ve found Diane von Furstenberg wrap dresses, DKNY dresses and Ferragamo shoes at thrifts for a pittance as compared to retail. (The real danger here is you’ll run out of closet space.)

By keeping your fixed costs– anything that you have to pay regardless of how hard you work or how much money your work generates– as low as possible means you can drop your costs of living and doing business regardless of where you live. Some examples of this are: rent, utilities, cellular and Internet services.  Variable costs– are costs which are lower when sales are low and higher when sales are high. These costs are more within your control. Choosing to buy a vintage dress rather than one at Macy’s, means you are getting a dress either way, but you are choosing a way to spend less, save more. If clients are few and far between, you won’t be getting your hair and nails done with the regularity you would when cash is rolling in. So, by being a bargain hunter—in high AND low demand times, you can keep your living and business costs relatively low. So, for instance, find the best deal for Internet and web-hosting services, and have your ad photography done on a trade (“time for pictures”) basis by a professional photographer looking to expand his or her portfolio. Living frugally, even in an expensive city, means maximizing your revenues.

The Economist treats escorting as a service business like any other service business and applies the standard economic measures to look at things like product differentiation and cost of service. There is a lot to be learned from this approach and re-reading the article closely is worth every escort’s time. The key insight in The Economist article is that an escort’s time is seen as a luxury by all segments of her potential market. The interesting thing about luxury goods is that they are (weirdly) price insensitive – as the economists would say – at the upper end of the market. In fact, high price is a signal for high quality in the luxury goods market. (Which explains why there are things like $50,000 Hermès Birkin bags that you have to be approved to buy.)

A business savvy escort realizes that if she offers a luxury service, she needs to charge a luxury price. The Economist article focused on “average”, a smart escort works very hard to ensure that she is never average. Every bit of her marketing, her photographs, her website, her style, and her pricing makes it very clear that she is the luxury item her select clientele have been looking for.

The Economist article is an eye-opener for some, and a well-researched guide for a savvy escort to use to shape her very unique business to her target market, and create a modern version of the world’s oldest profession.

46 | TEN ESCORT MISTAKES AND HOW TO AVOID THEM

An escort, at any stage of her career, can make mistakes. Some escort mistakes are trivial, others can hurt a girl’s career in significant ways.

These are not the life and death mistakes of failing to use protection or putting yourself in danger; rather they are basic personal and business mistakes which can reduce your income and increase your stress.

1. Ignoring your Health – Escorting is physical work but it is also a lifestyle. There is a fair bit of down time as you wait for the phone to ring or your next date. What do you do with that downtime?

Do you find yourself sitting on the couch playing X-box or surfing the web with a carton of Hagen Daz or a bag of chips? Is your first glass of wine at 11:00AM? When was the last time you cooked a real meal? Have you somehow gained fifteen pounds without really trying?

Escorts, like most women, need to incorporate exercise, fitness and a decent diet to stay healthy. It is not one thing or another, rather it is an overall commitment to staying ahead of the fitness/health curve. The good news is that as an escort you have downtime and you can use it.

Three things to beat the health negatives the escort lifestyle may bring:

Walk – try to walk a minimum of a mile a day with at least three days where you walk two miles or more. You don’t need equipment or a gym membership, just a pair of good runners. Walk at a steady, brisk pace. The brilliant thing about walking is that along with firming up your legs it clears your mind. A daily, brisk walk, sets you up to be healthy, energetic and calm.

Eat real food – if it comes in a sealed plastic bag it isn’t real. Fresh carrots instead of chips, a quick steak instead of take out. The amazing thing about eating real rather than processed food is that is is not only good for you, it’s cheaper. Escorts run through their cash fast. Slow the bleeding by eating well.

Sleep – It is easy for an escort to cheat on her sleep. A client wants to see you at midnight, another at ten in the morning. Very quickly your sleep schedule gets disrupted. Plus, the internet is always there. And the TV. Take control of your sleep by turning off the screens at a reasonable hour. Charge more for late dates.

2. Doing the same thing over and over – As an escort it is very easy to slip into a routine. You have a client over, you chat, do a little strip tease, engage in consenting adult activities, say good bye. Rinse, repeat.

This is a recipe for burnout. Plus your escort clients are going to come a couple of times and get bored. Routine is great for initial encounters but it is worthwhile to plan to mix it up a little bit with your regular clients. Some things to try:

Wear a different outfit. It is much too easy for a particular dress or skirt and blouse to become your escort uniform. Instead, look at changing your outfit for different days of the week and different hours of the day. Make sure your lingerie matches the outfit.

Change up the consenting adult activities. As an escort you are seen by many of your clients as a mistress of the sexual arts. While you will certainly cater to their desires, throw in a few things they are not expecting. Probably the biggest secret sex trick Cosmo ever revealed – and it revealed it almost every issue – is that many men enjoy being anally teased a little. A discreet surgical glove and a little lube and many of your clients will be delightfully surprised.

If you have the space, create a second bedroom for kinkier pleasures. You don’t have to be a domina but you can certainly take charge and tell your client that he’s going to spend a little time in the “red bedroom”. What goes on in the red bedroom is up to you but it should be more than a little different than your regular escort date.

3. Forgetting that Marketing is an everyday thing – It is awfully easy for an escort to put up an ad, book clients and put exactly the same ad up the next week. Easy and, in a very short while, counter-productive.

Successful escorts spend time every day working on their marketing. They put their escort ads up in a variety of locations and they track which ads work best where. And marketing is more than just escort advertising. Having a well-made, simple website will bring in new clients. Having a blog on that website where you can post great pictures to keep things fresh all can help raise your escort profile.

4. Taking your Escorting Regulars for granted – A client who wants to see you again is potentially a regular. A client who wants to see you once or twice a month is a regular and needs to be nurtured.

The reason why regulars are important – they are safe and lucrative – is also the reason why it is easy for an escort to ignore them. By their nature an escort’s regulars are predictable. After all, these are clients who are going to show up every couple of weeks without the escort having to do much.

Which is a huge mistake. A good roster of regulars is an escort’s security cushion. They are the income she can count on. So it is vital to treat them very well.

A few things an escort can do to keep her regulars coming:

-         Offer a loyalty discount. If you are charging $300 an hour offer your regulars an hour and a half for the same price.

-         Offer a half hour “touch and go” special service for your regulars on days where you are not as busy as you would like to be

-         Where it is safe, keep in touch with your regulars via email or SMS. Nothing wrong with sending a quick note with a pretty picture

-         Keep track of what each regular likes, what he talks about and what seem to be his favorite topics. This prevents the problem where all the regulars blend into a single, indistinct, escort client.

5. Pacing – As an escort becomes successful it is very easy to book and service every appointment which comes up. Girls can find themselves working from 10 AM to 1 AM and seeing a dozen clients a day. Great money but it is physically and psychologically unsustainable.

Understanding and implementing the idea of pacing will let an escort take charge of her schedule and, in many cases, provide better service to her clients. Better service means that an escort can charge more for her time and, in short order, be working less and making more.

There are two sides to the pacing equation: the absolute number of dates a day and the nature of the dates. Ten one hour encounters in a day is very difficult to sustain, however, eight encounters where two are an hour and a half with regulars and four are half hour “touch and go” dates and three are regular one hour encounters will leave an escort with more time and often more cash.

Varying the nature of the encounters can be just as important as keeping the total number of dates low.

6. Too Much Cash – For an escort is there such a thing as too much cash? In an odd way there is. Because most escort encounters are paid for in cash an escort can easily have a couple of thousand dollars in real folding money at the end of the day. And that cash is just asking to be spent.

Living in a largely cash world means that an escort has no real reason not to buy the $800 boots or that pretty $700 dress. In fact, given how hard she may have worked for her money, an escort often feels a real sense of entitlement.

At the end of the month, when the rent and the bills are due, many escorts, despite having made thousands of dollars that month find it tough to come up with the money. They have bought lots of things because they have had stacks of cash.

The simplest way for an escort to beat the problem of “too much cash” is to open a bank account and make very regular deposits. Simply putting half the cash you make daily into your bank account will ensure that, at the end of the month, an escort can pay her rent, cover her bills and usually have a tidy sum left over.

7. Forgetting that Escorting is a Business - Going on a date with a man for a few hundred dollars can be great fun but it is hardly a business. For the savvy escort, her encounters are part of a service business.

Treating an escorting business as a business rather than as a random source of income lets an escort plan, budget and, in the medium and long run, set goals. Instead of having a series of random, somewhat risky encounters, an escort who treats her work as a business can professionalize her services, reduce her risks and increase her profits. How?

-         bank your cash and keep records of what you make

-         file your taxes – and remember to take the deductions for business expenses you are entitled to

-         invest in your business – improve your location, get nicer furniture, buy better clothes and prettier lingerie, get great photographs, get a website, pay for ads aimed at your market

8. Isolation – It is surprisingly easy for an independent escort to become isolated. After all, to a large degree her work is confidential and her clients are rarely her friends. She works odd hours and, realistically, can find herself working ten to twelve hours a day. Because escorting has a degree of social stigma still attached to it, it is often easier for an escort to avoid social situations rather than have to explain/lie about what she does.

The mistake here is that escorts more than many people actually need ordinary social contact simply because the escort lifestyle is a somewhat surreal existence. Being self-contained is wonderful but it has costs.

Avoiding isolation begins with a clear division between a girl’s escort life and the rest of her life. Here are a few tips:

-         Have a cover story. Whether you want to be an online personal assistant, a downsizing consultant or web merchant, having a cover story and sticking to it means an end to the awkwardness the simple question “And what do you do?” can create for an escort.

-         Live your cover story. There is no reason at all that an escort cannot have a side business. It does not have to be huge but the fact is that an escort who manages her main business well should have time to set up an online selling business or a downsizing consultancy.

-         Take courses – whether it is to learn another language or French cooking, taking courses will get you out of your apartment and in touch with new people.

-         Stay fit – going to a gym a couple of times a week or for a good long swim puts you in the company of other people

-         Get to know your neighbourhood and your neighbours. Armed with a cover story an escort can have a favorite café, a great florist and a nice little bistro for lunch. If she rides a great looking bike she will be visible in the neighbourhood. Talking to people, getting to know the name of your butcher and your baker and your waiter, means that you’ll have real people to talk to every day.

9. Missing Opportunities – Escorting can be pretty intense with packed schedules and very little time to notice the bigger picture as a girl goes from date to date. If you have managed to get your pacing right an escort can get a lot done in her day but sometimes getting it all done means a girl misses opportunities which are within her grasp.

For an escort opportunities range from better paid dates and more regulars all the way through to travel, being kept as a mistress or as a private assistant, starting a new business or getting a great, straight, job.

The main source of an escort’s opportunities is her clients. Many of the men she meets will, in order to afford her rates, be successful. Some will be significantly wealthy. As some of these men become regular clients a savvy escort will learn about what they do and what they need. She’ll listen when they talk about their work and their businesses.

Opportunity is created. When a regular client of an escort tells her he’ll be away for a week in Paris or New York there is nothing to stop her suggesting that he might like a bit of company on his journey. If a regular wants to see an escort constantly, she is certainly able to suggest that he become her patron and she his mistress – on suitable terms of course. Escorts create opportunities for themselves by listening and actually paying attention.

10. Burnout – Every business brings with it the possibility of “burnout”. Escorting is no different. Burnout is a point at which a person is no longer very interested in what they are actually doing. Lawyers, doctors, housewives, academics, plumbers all can suffer from burnout. For escorts, burnout is a significant risk simply because so much of what an escort does requires a degree of acting. While some escorts are simply “themselves” in their encounters, most adopt a persona for their work and that is mentally tiring.

There is no magic formula for avoiding burnout. Rather there are things which an escort can do which will let her regroup before burnout actually becomes an issue. Here are a few:

-         Take a few minutes every day to review your escort encounters. How did they go? What worked, what didn’t? Which was your favorite client?

-         Take time off. It seems pretty obvious but the reality is that many professionals never take any time away from their profession. This is a shortcut to burnout. A mini-vacation, just a couple of days with your phone off is a start. Even better is a couple of days in a different city with your phone off.

-         Once in a while take a break from your regular escort persona and play with other alternatives – from girl next door to glamour girl is a change of make-up, different outfit and a great excuse to try out that new photographer.

-         Have a professional counselor to talk to once in a while – simply being able to talk about your life as an escort with a trained professional is a great way to discharge the stress which can lead to burnout

-         Have goals and reward yourself when you reach them. Some of your goals might be about money – “debt free”, “month in Europe” – and some might be personal – lose a dress size, learn to make puff pastry, speak French – and some might be entirely silly but fun – learn to lace my corset down to a 22 inch waist, own 50 pairs of vintage shoes, go swing dancing, go to Burning Man – the point being to set attainable mileposts.

As much as anything, an escort avoids mistakes by being committed to self-awareness. As with any job, in escorting you tend to get back what you put in. An escort who finds herself going through the motions in her encounters is doing neither herself nor her clients any favours.

By working on her self-awareness an escort is able to, in most cases, notice the possibility of her mistakes before she actually makes them. Paying attention to her health, her safety, her security and her business means that an escort is able to enjoy her profession as she builds her career.

47 | MANAGING ESCORT REVIEWS

The rise of escort review sites on the Internet has altered (cheapened) the escorting business. The Erotic Review, BigDoggie, AdultFax and dozens of local sites all post reviews of escorts written by their clients.

The escort review boards have a culture all their own. The clients see themselves as hobbyists; escorts are invariably referred to as mere service providers or sp’s. Some sites are absolutely explicit, others, like the Erotic Review, require a membership to view what they refer to as “The Juicy Details”. Questions about rates and services are asked and answered. Some sites even have ratings systems.

The reviews themselves are often well-written and describe the escort, her surroundings, her personality, and precisely what went on during the consenting adult part of the encounter. Ah, the age of sharing.

For a significant segment of the escort market, the review sites are a first or a second stop when a client is thinking about hiring an escort. As an escort you have very little control over whether or not a client will post about your encounter; and none at all over what he will post.

The size of the escort review space can be gauged by these numbers from the Erotic Review. Number of escort reviews: 1,078,000; New Reviews :5105; Users online: 31,384. These are large numbers. In otherwards, such sites are being used and read.

For an escort, there is a basic business choice to be made: are you going to pay attention to your reviews and your profile or simply let the chips fall where they may? Managing your reviews can be an angst-ridden part of your business, and it can also take an awful lot of your precious time. Here are some things to consider as you deal with the escort critique world.

A longer view

Take a big step back and consider where your clients find you. Your most important marketing tool is your advertising. You have total control over how you present yourself in words and photos, as well as the escort experience you are offering. The same is true of your website and any social media presence you have.

Next, consider your regular clients. They privately voice their positive opinion in the fact that they come back over and over. So, despite the public reviewers, if you have regulars, you have satisfied clients, and therefore, you are doing something right.

Then think about your target market: are you looking for the “hobbyists” or do you have another market segment in mind?

How important escort reviews are to your business is partially a choice you are making about whether to play the escort review game.

A Relaxed Approach

If you have your advertising dialed in and a steady stream of regulars, you can take a very relaxed approach to escort reviews. If a client decides to review you, great. But that is not the focus of your escort marketing, nor is it going to make or break you.

This approach has the great benefit that you are not investing a lot of time in your escort reviews. You are not relying on them for your clients and while it is lovely to receive a great review, your escort business is focused on providing a great experience.

In a lot of ways, taking a relaxed approach to escort reviews is every escort’s default position. As you can’t stop your clients from reviewing you, there is no point in worrying about it.

Taking such an approach will work almost anywhere, but even the most nonchalant girl should pay a little bit of attention to her escort reviews on the local sites. The positive reviews require no action. But where someone posts a negative review, what can you do?

Getting Active

You can decide to take the initiative. Encouraging your clients to review your escort services favorably may be time well spent.

First off, you need to focus on one or two escort review sites: likely one national and one in your city. There are simply too many sites to cover all of them.

Second, on each of these boards you need to register and, if possible, put up a couple of great pictures and, again if permitted, a link to your website. Be complete. Cover your services and indicate your location and preferred customers.

Once you are registered, you are ready to ask your clients for reviews. Your regulars are a perfect place to start. But be prepared. Some of your regulars will know about review sites, others will have no clue. So you have to be ready to explain what a review site is, how they can join, why they should do so, and what you would like them to say.

It is not at all a bad idea to have this printed out with the escort review site’s location and your working name. But make sure that you have discussed a review before you show your client just how clever you are.

Some regulars will be delighted to review their favorite escort. Some will be reluctant. Go with the clients who you think will take the time to give you a great review.

Some of your clients will have found you via a review site – when you are making an escort booking one of your questions should always be where your client has found your information. Keep track of clients who find you via escort advertising and those who come from the review sites.

If a client is coming from a review site, he may be simply random or he may be a “hobbyist”. Oddly, hobbyists don’t see their escort experience as complete until they have written a review. So, knowing that the gentleman you are seeing is a hobbyist can give you the creeps or an edge.

Hobbyist escort reviews tend to focus on the superficial elements: is the escort “model quality”, are her breasts real or, if augmented, is the surgery well done. “The Juicy Details” tend to be an alphabet soup of acronyms.

If you know your caller is a hobbyist, you may want to be real and true to form, or you may wish to be creative and play to an audience. Enthusiasm is at a premium in the hobbyist world simply because they tend to see a lot of escorts and few stand out. Something a bit out of the ordinary like a bubble bath will provide your reviewer with some good clean fun to remember and, hopefully, write about.

As with any client, an escort seldom goes wrong asking a man to talk about himself; but here you have the added factor that the hobbyist collects escorts and will, if asked, likely be delighted to recount “his sexiest experience” or his favorite activity.

For an escort who wants to gain profile and clients through the escort reviews, a date with a confirmed hobbyist is a chance to play the game. If she chooses to. Hobbyists also seem to be “value” obsessed. They not only want to avoid being rushed, they revel in getting more than they paid for. Attempts at a second shot, successful or not, always elicits a commentary in print.

Do you want to invest an extra twenty minutes in giving great “value” to this sorry sort of publicist? Up to you, but don’t feel obliged to be exploited. Escorts of a cynical nature turn the tables on the reviewer by adding even more sugar to the icing because a great review is potentially worth dozens of escort clients. He will leave; the money will come. It’s a trade-off.

Dealing with Bad Reviews

One good reason an escort, even if she is being well-reviewed, should keep advertising is that, eventually, someone – an annoyed client, a competitive escort, a teenager mad that you wouldn’t see him for lunch money – will post a negative comment.

Negative reviews come in two flavours: the first is when a client finds that an escort is not actually his cup of tea. It happens. So when he sits down to describe your session he is less than enthusiastic.

This sort of negative escort review, while unfortunate, is not likely to do your business much harm because it is as much about the client as it is about the escort. Which means this is the sort of escort review you can safely ignore and move on from.

The other sort of negative review is plain nasty and usually false. Statements like “She is not at all like her pictures”, or “Her place was dirty”, or “She really rushed the session”, are certainly not good for business.

What to do? Well, first off make sure that the statements really are false. If you are posting pictures of someone else, you deserve to be called on it. But most escorts who want to stay in business realize they need to be honest.

Next, get in touch with the webmaster at the site where the negative review is posted. Have the details of the posting and the reasons why it is not accurate. Be prepared to make your case. No exclamation marks, no profanity. Calm and collected wins the day.

If a webmaster is smart he’ll be inclined to withdraw overtly nasty reviews when asked. So an escort faced with a negative review has nothing to lose by asking for it to be removed. A site will soon loose readership if the reviews become an obvious fakery for airing of grievances.

No matter what, remember that on the Internet things change (very)quickly. If you have negative reviews, try to have three or four good clients write great reviews. You might even offer them a little thank you, wink wink.

Using your reviews

While review sites get lots of traffic, so does your escort advertising. And, if you are marketing yourself well, you are changing your ads regularly.

So, if one of your clients writes a glowing escort review put a link to that review in your advertising.

Or if there are many positive reviews, you can put a link to all your escort reviews in under the heading “Well-Reviewed”. If a client is intrigued with your ad this sort of link to your escort review profile on an escort review site, gives your potential client a feel for the experience you are providing.

On your website it is often a good idea to post excerpts from your best reviews. Not too long -100 words maximum. And if you are posting excerpts make sure that you have a link to the full review.

Perspective

A large part of a great escort experience is about an escort’s attitude. If she is at ease, her client will leave with a smile on his face. While escort reviews are now a fact of life, they are simply one fact among many. Keeping that in mind means that you will be doing your best work rather than trying to perform to the expectations of the pathetic hobbyists. Of more value, and obviously more sincere, is an assessment by your regulars or a client who has had a wonderful experience with you.

Keep a balance in your marketing. Great escort advertising will bring you clients who have never heard of review sites. An elegant set of photographs will build your brand. So will a clever, modern, escort website.

Ultimately, something as simple as an upbeat, inviting, telephone manner may encourage more clients to your door than a dozen rave escort reviews. While the hobbyists have created their own little world and their own view of escorts within that world, this is not your world. Instead, invent your own escort persona, provide your best escort experience, and, in time, you will have your own loyal band.

48 | ESCORT VIDEO – DIY WITH YOUR SMARTPHONE

If you look at high end marketing – think BMW or Dior – part of the marketing effort almost always includes videos. The reason is simple – people love watching video on the internet and it is now very, very easy to upload and display video on websites, YouTube and Facebook. As easy as putting up still pictures.

For an independent escort, video can lead to more calls, more dates and higher rates. Of course it can also lead to significant costs, so paying attention to lower cost alternatives over the high-production-value spectaculars, makes a lot of sense.

With nothing more than a SmartPhone, a couple of cheap accessories and a free app or two, you can make your own videos.

Planning

Video almost always tells a story. An escort who wants her videos to be effective needs to think about what story she wishes to convey.

A story is usually told with an audience in mind. For example, an escort can build a world-wide audience with some clever YouTube videos, but is a world-wide audience what she is looking for? Alternatively, a video might have a story which is tightly focused on the escort’s home city.

A story does not have to be long. In fact, if you look at the most effective commercials on television they are no more than a minute and often 30 seconds.

The story needs to focus on the escort, she’s the product being sold; but the story does not have to be a hard sell. Humour, a sense of fun, sensuality, costumes and props all contribute to an enticing video.

The objective of the story is a sale (for a potential client to get in touch with you). To achieve this, the story will usually end with an invitation. That invitation can be direct or it can simply be text of your working name, number and email, and your website. Marketers refer to this as the “call to action”.

Can you come up with three, easy-to-shoot scenes which would entice a potential client but which you could shoot on your iPhone? Yes you can! And here’s how.

The Shot List

In the movie business, every production begins with a shot list and it pretty much determines the way an entire movie is made. (OK, actually there is a treatment, a script, a shooting script and a story board but the shot list is what governs the shoot.)

A shot list is just that: a list of the shots which need to be taken. For example:

Long shot, exterior, dusk, Julia’s apartment is the shot; now, what needs to be there? Actor? Maybe. If so, then what is the actor wearing, carrying? Is there a voice over or music?

Close up, Julia putting a stocking on, interior Julia’s apartment cue more questions.

Even if your video is only going to have five shots, it is worth laying them out on paper. Being really well organized on a shoot will save you time and a lot of aggravation. Trust me on this.

Think about editing. There are some videos which are simply fun and spontaneous in themselves and are not going to be edited, nor should they be. Other videos will take longer to edit than to shoot. If you know you are going to be editing, make sure you leave time at the beginning and end of a shot where there is something in focus but no sound.

Plan your audio. Are you going to be speaking on camera? Or will there be a voice- over or a little of both? If you are going to be speaking, make sure that you plan for sound checks before every shot. There is nothing less fun than having a great shot where the sound is inaudible or a big truck starts up halfway through.

Finally, shot list in hand, carefully plan your outfit(s), makeup, hair and props. Think about the story you are telling and dress accordingly. There is no right way to dress in a video or a photo shoot. What you are trying to do is create a “look” which fits the story you want to tell and the mood you set.

Naked Or Not?

Escort videos can be pretty racy. Yawn. However it is almost never a good idea for an escort to be naked in videos she plans to use for promotional purposes. There are five very good reasons:

First, escorts sell their time, not sex. This is the legal basis upon which the entire escorting business exists. Appearing naked in a video which is promoting your escort business is rather strong evidence that you are offering more than companionship..

The second reason is all about seduction: by keeping your clothes on in a promotional video you are offering a glimpse of how delightful it might be if activities between consenting adults were to take place. As we never tire of repeating, the most fundamental erogenous zone is between the ears, and suggestion is almost always more enticing than getting explicit. Learn the art of subtlety.

The third reason is vanity: just about everyone looks better in a few wisps of fabric, or something.  While Playboy Playmates eventually reveal their naughty bits they are almost never photographed naked. A pretty bra, a sexy slip, garter belt, stockings are all adornments which create an alluring and powerful image.

And the fourth: incentive. You have presented your potential clients with a provocative glimpse, but they will have to book an appointment to have any hope of seeing more. Which is the incentive to book an appointment.

And, the fifth: money. The phone call/text/email/chat/whatever  which all happily lead to dollars in your hand. The raisons d’ êtrefor this little video production, after all.

Not quite ready for Prime Time? Start with a Video Selfie

You are not a movie star, nor are you a director or a film maker. So for your escort video, stick with something simple. In fact, the easiest and cheapest video can be nothing more than a selfie shot on your camera phone and lasting 15 seconds. What’s the story? Nothing too complicated. Something like this:

[looking into the camera] Hi, I’m Alexis and I love being a companion for men in XYZ city and all you guys who come here. I do in-calls at this lovely apartment right downtown and I do out-calls to select hotels.

[medium shot with full body shot of escort in a pretty skirt and blouse undoing the buttons on the blouse] My favorite thing is the full girlfriend experience. No rush, just enjoying each others company. [blouse is now at the critical button.]

[shot of face] Would you like to see more? Call or email [fade to numbers]

Nothing could be simpler and more to the point. It is well worthwhile to shoot a little video like this long before you even think about anything more complicated because this may be all you need to get your phone ringing.

Now, having said that, when you look at your very first video selfie you are going to notice all sorts of things you did wrong. First off, unless you are very lucky, the lighting will not be quite right. Second, the sound quality may be a bit off. Your makeup will look odd on video. Your delivery of your lines will be “weird”.

Which just does not matter because you can reshoot the video as many times as you need to get it right. As you reshoot, you’ll be getting better with each and every re-take. More confident in front of the camera, improved delivery of your lines. You’ll adjust the light and wear a blouse with less irritating buttons.  Just don’t lose your sense of humour or your patience in the process.

Two key things for every DIY video no matter how basic:

First, even with good image stabilization, it is critical to have your camera resting on something. You can buy a cheap little phone tripod, and we do mean cheap. Less than $4.00 from Amazon.  Or rest your phone on a pile of books. No matter what, having zero camera shake will make even the simplest home video look professional.

Second, lighting matters. You don’t need professional video lights, you do need a lot of light and, ideally, very few shadows.  Amazon is your friend here as well. For less than $20 plus shipping you can get an LED light which attaches to your phone.  But for more versatile lighting a halogen construction light for less than $20.00 at Amazon or at Home Depot can really illuminate a room. Do not shine the light directly at what you are shooting. Bounce those photons off a wall or ceiling. But, watch out, these lights get hot.

The great advantage of a short video you shoot yourself, is that you are in control. You make the decisions and control the cost, and it takes all of an hour of your life

Kick it up a Notch

Your simple intro video selfie may be all you need, but you can easily kick it up a notch.

Fool around a bit with your phone’s camera. Grab some close-ups of a few of the icons of the escort’s trade: great high heels, a pretty bit of lingerie, a rumpled set of sheets, a shot of bubble bath, a shot of you in the bubble bath…There are limitless possibilities.

The actual “lines” in the video may be the much the same as in the basic video – you are just introducing yourself and inviting gentlemen to call. But this video will have a “mood”.

Video is, obviously, a visual medium and a shot of a pair of panties draped over a chair with a pair of pretty high heels below tells a story wordlessly.

If you are trying to do this yourself, help is at hand: there are brilliant apps which turn your smartphone into a pretty good basic video editor. An app like Magisto – basic version is free for iOS and Android – lets you put together different shots, trim specific shots and put in filters and transitions. Plus, it lets you put in background music. Nice.

The key to video success when you are the writer, producer, director, videographer and star is to keep it simple and be organized. Yes, you do need a shot list even when it is your own production. Yes, you do need a prop table with every object which is to be shot neatly arranged and carefully examined for scuffs and stains. I assure you every imperfection will show up under your lighting.

When you are making your shot list think about the atmosphere – night or day? Natural light or darkness punctuated with artificial light? Think about the shots themselves and the transitions. You might want to start with an extreme close up and with each succeeding shot pull back a little until, by the time you are in the shot, we can actually see most of you. Yes, those little pieces of tape you see on video studio floors really do have a meaning. Stand on one and you are very close to the camera, stand on another and your are far enough away that your hairstyle and stockings tops will all be in the shot.

If you are using a modern SmartPhone, there is a capacity in the video mode to zoom in or out in a shot. While good results can sometimes be obtained, often the zoom effect can look cheesy. It may be better to save “zooming” for the edit or dispense with it all together.

Critically, each shot should be a little longer than it will be in the “final cut”. That length gives you some room when it comes time to edit. Equally critically, take the time to film each shot at least twice if not three times. You might change the camera position slightly between shots but otherwise keep everything the same. It takes time to set up even the simplest still shot and it is worth having a couple of versions “in the can”.

When you finally appear on camera do a test shot to see if makeup and hair are right. Then practice your lines so that you can check the sound levels. Play that test shot back and make any adjustments needed. Take your time.

If you are using a halogen light, even bouncing it off the wall, you are going to get warm as you set up shots. It is a good idea to do all the still shots as well as any exteriors or interiors all at once and in your old jeans and a tee-shirt. Getting good shots involves a lot of crawling around. Once you have the still shots you want, then it is time to glam up and get ready for your close up.

Every girl is different and the camera will render every girl slightly differently. Photography make-up is not everyday street make-up, so either familiarize yourself with the techniques by watching a few tutorials on line (there are lots) or hire a pro. Remember that we live in a high definition world so, for example, the foundation you are wearing needs to extend well past your jaw line and be blended well. The same blend, blend, blend rule applies to contouring, blush, and eyeshadow. Even stars on the red carpet have ended up embarrassed because face powder that looks flawless to the eye, can turn Morticia like when the lights and cameras flash.  What you see in your makeup mirror and what your camera sees are going to be very different. If you are doing your own makeup, start minimal and check what it looks like under your lights and on your camera. Adding a bit of colour is easy, subtracting is more difficult.

Bear in mind, as you do your make-up and select your outfits, that you may well be applying some filters and adjusting exposure and brightness. And remember that your prospective clients are going to want to actually see the girl they see in the video. So, unless you want to do a makeover for every date, you will still want to look like you.

You can create a visually stunning image with something as simple as a great, red lipstick against an otherwise pale make-up palette. Think Taylor Swift, Gwen Stefani, forties femme fatales.

For wardrobe, you might well do two or even three looks but you will need to do a test shot of each one to make sure it works. When you are doing a test shot put yourself in exactly the position you plan to be in for the “take”. Then look very carefully at the test shot. Make sure the outfit’s colour on video is flattering. Look for puckers and bulges caused by how you are positioned. Then look behind your ravishing countenance —that pile of laundry is likely not the backdrop you want, and the picture of your boyfriend should be taken down, and what about the octopus of black cords beside your night table?

Remember, this is video. With still photography, three minutes of Photoshop will eliminate the background clutter, pimples, unwanted wrinkles and even inches. But, alas, with video, these fixes are difficult, if not impossible. Which means that you need to pay ruthless attention. Have a zit, use concealer.  Look for a neutral, blank, backgrounds that don’t distract from beautiful you. Most of all, rigorously do test shots of everything before the final production and look very, very carefully for anything which is out of place.

Once you are satisfied with all these elements, do a take. Just you and the camera and whatever your lines are. Speak as clearly and as slowly as you can. Don’t have a script nearby from which you can read from because you will look at it—yes, even if you know your lines you will— and thus away from the camera. (If you really have to have a script, write it in big letters and put it behind the camera.) Do several takes of each shot and eventually you will relax, have fun. Channel your favourite star or media personality—from the six o’clock news reporter, to Dita von Teese, to Downton Abbey, become her. Some of the most natural “takes” are usually unintentional like when you thought the camera was off. Most of all, don’t worry; this will all be edited. Thank goodness for technology!

The real difference between the video selfie and a real, DIY, video is the editing. Whole books are written on how to edit but you can accomplish a lot simply by taking the best of the “takes” and putting them together with simple transitions. Fading from one shot to the next where the visuals “blend” will work well if the basic light is much the same. It doesn’t have to be perfect. But it does have to look “finished.” By all means add background music but remember that music sets its own mood and tells its own story, Chopin creates a different ambience than Katy Perry. On the other hand, cool jazz can be sensual and calming. Be mindful of copyright. You don’t want Katy’s lawyer at your door if you go viral.

Once you have an edit, with background music, take a cold, critical look at your work. Because here is the most important part about DIY video: the first one you make teaches you how to make the next video ten times better. Warning: this new hobby can become an obsession, and your friends will think you have left the country.

This first video will be a great marketing tool on your website. And it is an excellent marketing ploy on a BackPage ad to add, “Check out my new video,” with a link to your site. You can also put it up at YouTube (as long as the naughty bits remain discreetly hidden.) You have become a veritable marketing maven, you clever girl.

Once you have done one full scale DIY video, you’ll be able to do regular video updates. Oh, what fun! And don’t forget the power of a fresh video selfie to keep you potential clients interested. The internet is all about the “right now”. Video updates  keep your ads, website, blog, Facebook page, Twitter feed and Vine fresh. And it builds your escort brand even when you are sleeping (you are sleeping, right?)

49 | THE INTERNET & THE ESCORT

The Internet is one of the most powerful marketing tools in an escort’s arsenal. If you know how to use it. To avoid wasting your time and money, you need to know some key strategies to increase your bookings and have great clients come to you.

Start with advertising. A service like skipthegames.com lets you reach out across North America so that when clients are coming to your city, you are easily found. Using the Internet for advertising is just the beginning of what you can do.

The Internet and social media offer everything from websites, to blogs, to Facebook pages, to Tweets to help you promote your business. You can spend hours every day updating your social media. But is it worth it?

You need more than typing skills to be Internet savvy and to gain significant Internet traction for your business. And, to understand what that means, you need to think in business terms. (Warning: there will be math but it is really easy and very profitable math.)

In business, there is a very straightforward concept – Return On Investment (ROI). If you buy an ad for a month and it costs $100 that is an investment. If it brings you three $200 dates, your revenue is $600-$100=$500 as a Gross ROI. (It is more complicated than this but that’s the general idea.) So, the old maxim, You have to spend money to make money, is true.

Another saying to make your mantra is, Time is Money. But how do you value your time? What you are currently earning a week divided by the number of hours you are “on the clock” will tell you what you are making an hour and therefore what an hour of your time is worth if you invest it. Let’s say that you are working 12 hours a day, 5 days a week, so you are “on the clock” 60 hours a week. If you have six $200 dates a week for a total of $1,200 and another $300 in tips, you are making $25.00 an hour ignoring expenses.

Now, let’s say advertising gets you two more dates and costs $25.00 per week. If you make your $200 plus $100 in tips you will have spent $25 to make $500 (2 @ $200=$400+$100 =$500). Your revenue per hour would increase from $25 to $33.00 an hour. Good math to know, eh?

One of the simplest and most effective ways you can use the Internet to create cash in your Prada handbag, is to create (or have built) some sort of web presence (web-site, blog, Facebook, Pintrest, Twitter) with this information on it:

- Working name
- City/neighbourhood
- Services

- Rates (depending on the legal issues in your area)

- Several great photographs

You can certainly develop a stand-alone website, but be aware that it will cost money. Here is a breakdown:

- Domain Reservation: Go-Daddy.com, $9.99 per year but check for coupon codes

- Web Hosting: $5.00/month, various places

- Web Design: 3-6 page basic site with one gallery: $250-$500

- Monthly Update Costs: $100-$250

- Marketing and SEO (search-engine-optimization): $300-$1000

So once all these costs are factored in, and then compared to other options, the ROI for an escort website may not be as high.

Let’s look at one low cost alternative.

A Blog

Putting up a blog at Google’s Blogspot is quick, free, and easy. You can do it yourself. (Really, you can!) It just takes a bit of time to figure out how to post and how to upload pictures, but it really is very straightforward. But before you plunge ahead, you need to be aware of a few things with Blogspot:

- No Nudity. Otherwise you are classified as an adult blog and a screen comes up warning people off.

- Think of the blog as an extended ad. Be friendly, approachable but don’t give too much away. You want people who go to the blog to then call, text, or email you.

- Have a call to action. Call me now, I’m sure I have what you are looking for, is a lot better than just a telephone number or an email address.

The best thing about Blogspot is that it is owned by Google. Google is king of the search engines This means that the Google search spider will check out your blog pretty much the day you put it up. There is no need to even think about Bing or Yahoo, because if you do well on Google, they will follow along.

The advantage of Google, is that it is a complete system: to get a Blogspot blog you have to have a Google account which will give you a number of things: a gmail e-mail address, a Google+ account, and, if you sign up, also a Google Places account. Of all of these, the Google Places account is the most valuable because it will put your business in the local search results for Google. The one thing you must have for Google Places is an actual address where you can receive mail as Google will verify your business by sending a post card with a code.

There is, however, a good deal of evidence that Google Places may be reluctant to list escorts, which means that you may want to list as a model, entertainer, hostess, companion or some other euphemism.

Posting

Blogs do best when they have new posts frequently: daily is ideal; two to three times a week at minimum. This gives your readers a reason to keep coming back to your site. Your objective is to generate traffic. A post can be very brief – Gorgeous day in New York – let’s share it or lengthy. It is always a good idea to include pictures as well. If you are the creative sort, you may come to genuinely love blogging and soon generate a following.

With a smartphone you can keep the blog lively with selfies. If you buy a new skirt or a pretty bra, post it. No need for a hard sell, just keep it fun, casual, and upbeat.

Design

The Internet has changed a lot in the last five years with the rise of the smartphone and the tablet. This means that you need to pick a Blogspot theme which is responsive which means it automatically determines what device a user is using to look at your blog and presents the blog in a format compatible with that device. It’s a neat trick.

Critical information such as location, email, and phone number go in the “sidebar” which runs down the side of the page. Once these design elements are in place, they won’t change so make sure that you get them right the first time.

Social Media

What about FaceBook, Twitter and Linked-In?

While social media may be fading with younger people, it is actually growing in the over-30 demographic. So setting up accounts for your business in each social media outlet makes sense. Using the gmail address you got with your Blogspot blog for all of your social media will keep everything tidy.

Have a good photograph for your social media content. Black and white is eye-catching and different from most. Various social media sites all have varying policies on prohibiting “illegal” businesses from using their site, so keep your pretty stilettos out of that category. Offering companionship, arm candy, a dinner date or modeling is legal. So are pretty pictures of a pretty girl with all the naughty bits covered.

The inherent danger with social media in general, is that it can occupy an enormous amount of time (if you let it). The good news is that once you have set up your accounts, you can use the miracle of Internet technology to save you time and effort. twitterfeed.com uses something called the RSS feed from your blog to post to FaceBook, Twitter and Linked-In. It takes a little while to set up but once you have, every time you post to your Blogspot blog, your social media is instantly, and automatically, updated. So back away from your computer and smell the roses.

Best piece of business advice: think big; start small; scale fast. Returning to ROI, having a web and a social media presence can be very lucrative for an escort’s business. But paying someone to build a website, maintain it, and market it, is expensive. Four hundred dollars a month is a realistic number. So, if the site itself is costing you two $200 dates a month, is it worth it? It depends on the current--and projected--success of your escort business. If, within a few months, your web presence produces five or six additional dates per month, then it IS worth. You have increased your business, your revenues, and you will also have a very decent ROI.

Okay, say you don’t have, or want to spend, the money required for web and social media. If you are savvy, you keep the four hundred dollars and do it yourself. In this way, you see a return from the very first date which results from your web efforts. ROI? Huge, because you are investing large amounts of time and small amounts of money instead of the other way around. In fact, by using the hours in which you are not making money from clients, you are enhancing your ability to make much more.

There is another huge benefit to doing it yourself: once you have built a blog and attached it to social media, you will have acquired a useful, and marketable, skill. If you need a “day job”, you can start your own little freelance business. You can make a bit of extra money –and who knows, if you are good at it, you could even move to web designer and social marketer.

Escorts know that the Internet can build their business. Savvy escorts learn how to do it themselves, and keep the profits. What, no Prada bag? Well, it may be on your arm sooner than you thought.

50 | GIRL ON THE GO: ESCORTING IN A MOBILE WORLD

Lying in your purse is a tiny device that is, in actuality, a full-scale computer thousands of times more powerful than the computer aboard the Apollo 11 mission which landed men on the moon. Saying that the Smartphone has revolutionized the internet is no exaggeration. Add to it tablets, and suddenly the world in which a modern-day escort conducts her business is totally transformed.

In the no-pay dating world, Tindre lets people hook-up with a swipe; in the semi-pay Sugar World, SeekingArrangement.com has an app; in the pay world, Peppr has launched a Tinder-like app in Europe which allows clients to find and book escorts with a quick swipe.

For a working escort the reality of mobile means altering how she does business and how she markets herself. The extent and speed of adaptation is at the escort’s discretion, but not being tech savvy is not even an option.

Your Phone – Using Cyber Smarts

Having a smartphone is like having a phone, a camera, a video-camera and a computer in your purse. Everything from your contact book to your escort blog or website can be accessed from that smartphone. Need to find a client location? Google Maps is literally, at your fingertips.

For all its convenience, a smartphone is also a potential source of trouble. Because all your escorting information, dates, clients’ numbers, your comments about clients, your current location, your internet history, the login details to your website, Facebook and Twitter accounts, and those naughty selfies and sex tape, are all on your phone or accessible from it. You are leaving a digital imprint

So how do you protect your privacy, keep your secrets and counteract snoops? With a bit of counter-technology, of course.  Here is what you need to know:

Basic Security

Use a screen lock so no-one can look in your phone if you leave it unattended. Although you may be tempted to increase the security even further by using apps which encrypt the data on your phone, these can be a bit cumbersome and there are better ways to keep your data private.

Having two phones might seem a bit extravagant but it can pay off. Keeping a phone with its own number exclusively for work is a huge advantage if you have a busy life. When you are out with friends you turn the work phone off and only check it for messages when you have privacy. Your work phone will only show your escort persona name and number and all email and text details will be for your working, not your personal life.

With a dedicated work phone you can set it up to really drive your business. At the same time, you can keep a work phone clean of the wonderful time wasting apps like Angry Birds. And if necessary, it can be tossed off a cliff to delete your escort past rather than your whole life.

For Your Eyes Only

For additional safeguards, Black Book will allow you to keep a secret contacts list on your mobile. Cate efficiently erases calls and texts, and Mobile Vault keeps your secrets locked in your iCloud.

Above and Beyond

When your phone is your work, you better be particularly careful not to lose it. Although you probably don’t have to go as far as Angelina Jolie’s  $15,000 Louis Vuitton Lockit PM Devotion gold clutch that she donned for the Moneyball premier in 2011 which was handcuffed to her wrist: http://www.fashionfling.com/2011/09/angelina-jolie-handcuffs-purse-to-wrist.html

Making It Work for the Working Girl

When you are setting up your work phone, configure it only with what you really need and what you will use: contacts, a good SMS app to deal with texting, a calendar app to keep your appointments straight. Those are the basics. Now think about a few marketing features. Men are very visual creatures and so good photographs are always useful. While you should have the photographs for your main website and your advertising done professionally, there is no reason at all not to put up selfies on a blog, a Facebook page or a Twitter feed. For that you’ll need a photo-editing app or two. Plus, you’ll want to use the Facebook and Twitter apps.

At this point you will want to think seriously about off-phone storage options. Now, bearing in mind the possible Apple hack which exposed Jennifer Lawrence and a host of other stars more private moments to the internet, it makes sense to look into the security of the off site options. But Google Drive or DropBox provide pretty good password-driven security.

This level of security protects you against casual curiosity and the awful possibility of your phone falling in your bathtub – which happens more often than you think. There is, however, another level of security risk which an escort can encounter: law enforcement.

And it is here, in the worst-case scenario, that your work phone is used against you. It becomes (potentially), evidence in the event that the police are attempting to make a case against you or your clients. While the Supreme Court of the United States has recently held that a cell phone cannot be searched without a warrant, the police can certainly seek and will almost certainly obtain a warrant.

And once a warrant has been issued, information like your call logs is available. So practice scrupulous phone hygiene. It’s easy and quick, and could be critical. Deleting a call log on an Android or Apple phone is a mere ten second process.

If you want to keep the name of a caller in your contacts, then do yourself and your client a huge favour and change that name. At minimum, change the last name. The law of evidence is a funny thing and a changed last name is likely to give your client an out. Similarly, if you keep notes on your clients’ predilections and peccadillos, using a simple code will make the policeman’s task much more difficult. However, don’t use well recognized escort acronyms.

The one thing which you should never record with respect to clients is how much they paid you “Fred S. GFE $300 $50” where there is a row of these sorts of entries is solid evidence against you and Fred.

In fact, financial details of any sort are best kept somewhere other than your smartphone. Having an email address entirely separate from your escorting address for things like Paypal payments or Square transactions makes a lot of sense. Keeping your financial affairs entirely off your work phone is a huge layer of protection. Seeing a lot of men is not illegal; being paid is.

At least once a week, more often if you are busy, you need to do a sweep of your work phone: delete the call log, delete the SMS/text records, check your contacts and your notes for possible issues, delete client emails. Now, the fact is that the National Security Agency or the FBI will be able to reconstruct your digital history; but for a local policeman to go to the trouble of gaining a warrant and then tracking down warrants to access third party cell and email providers, may simply not be worth it for a prostitution arrest.

Marketing to Mobile

Imagine for a moment that a handsome businessman has finished a late meeting and is having a quiet drink in a swanky hotel bar. His now relaxed mind turns to the rest of his evening and, right there, he decides female companionship would be just the thing.

A few years ago he would have had to find an alternative newspaper with escort ads, or find a phone book to find an escort agency.

These days, to arrange a tryst, your potential client reaches for his trusty smart phone and goes to a site like http://skipthegames.com/, swipes his city and finds a long list of girls ready to please. The ads are optimized for mobile and the girl he seeks is right there. Or is she?

Part of the magic of smartphones is that they are locationally aware. They know where they are and so a tech and mobile-savvy escort will ensure that her location is discoverable because a man in the mood doesn’t like to wait. And it is to little avail if he is in a bar in New York and you are drinking champagne in Paris.

Clients are on the move, and so escorts have to be, too. CNN reported in January 2014 that mobile internet usage in the US overtook desktop usage for the first time. What this means for an ambitious independent escort is that her entire marketing effort needs to accommodate mobile platforms. A few years ago this required building an entirely different web site. Now, with responsive template designs, a single website will, by and large, render well on every device. And with every smartphone iteration, conducting business on an apparatus the size of your palm becomes easier and easier.

A well-designed and functional website is a joy to behold, but don’t forget to double check your website once you have made it responsive. Glitches do happen. For example, the front page may look perfect on a mobile phone, but your galleries may not render properly. This is no reason to panic or lose sales when a few minutes of a webmaster’s time will fix the problem.

Next, optimize your advertising and review venues. Although you can’t change the venue, you can make sure your presence there stands out. Often something as simple as re-sizing your photos will mean they display beautifully on the small screen.

You really do need to understand how the advertising venue or review site works for mobile because it may be somewhat different than it is for desktop. One feature which some advertising sites offer is what amounts to a “second page” where your contact information is located. If this is the case, make sure you give your potential client a reason to go on. A line like, “for contact information and more pictures….” incentivizes the client to click.

If mobile usage has grown, text messaging has exploded. As has Skype and a host of messaging apps like Whats App. Text messages as a preliminary to an encounter can work well (remembering to turn off the history so as to leave no trace.) However, for screening and confirmation, a telephone call is still preferred.

Make sure that your tech capability is made known in your ad. A line like “text me at xxx-xxx-xxxx” makes it clear and convenient. The real objective is to make it as easy as possible for your prospective client to get in touch with you. For a slightly shy client, email or text can break the ice.

Having adapted your website to mobile and made sure that your advertising is ready for the mobile world, it is time to focus on staking out your local turf.

Google, and let’s face it, there is no other serious search engine, offers terrific localization options for businesses. The only problem is that Google makes it difficult to list if you are an independent escort. Escort agencies are able to use Google Places for Business but it is a bit more difficult for girls working on their own.

However, as with many other things on the net, there are workarounds which are not that difficult.

Go Local

The entire idea behind Google localization is to tie a business to a specific address. In order to get into Google Places you have to register and then they send a card with a code to the address you have registered at. A PO box sometimes works but Google is pretty smart about such things and may not let you register from such an address.

Ask yourself where you would like your clients to think you are. For example, if you enjoy outcalls to exclusive hotels and there is a hotel district in your city, you will want Google to believe you are right in the middle of that area. To accomplish this you need access to an address in that area. And you need an address where the actual business is not going to mind. If you have a friend with an apartment great; but, in fact, it is usually better to find a news stand or a smoke shop which would be willing to hold your mail for a small fee. Once arranged, go ahead and create a Google Account. Do this using your escort name and details. Then it is off to Google+, Pages and My Business.

Google can be infuriating when it comes to setting up these services but, with a bit of clever planning, you can make the process fairly painless. Make sure you have a good photo – nothing rude, mildly risqué is acceptable – and a description of your business which does not involve the word “escort” (we suspect “courtesan” will fail as well).  Rather, something like “providing discreet companionship for discerning gentlemen” would work. And, of course, the all-important actual street address.

You are made to jump through the hoops Google sets up and, with a bit of luck, you will create a full on Google+ account with a business page and your contact details including the address. Once you create this, Google will send the card with the code which will verify the address.

At this point you have a page with your name, a picture and a tag line about companionship. Adding to that page is easy. So is editing it. As is adding material about your escorting activities, the hotels you prefer, pretty lingerie you love…you get the idea… will all add up to create your profile.

What this does is establish your address and your activities in the Google searches for your area. Combined with a good website, an escort able to use technology to her advantage can make her way to the top of the search engines in her area.

Building a strong, local, Google+ profile and a mobile-friendly web presence will enhance your escort business in the mobile market. Great clients will not only seek you, they will be able to find you.

Now he’s found you…

Some escorts focus on business with their prospective clients. After all, time is money. Other girls like to play a little. Known as much for their personality, wit and charm as for their sexual prowess, they employ technology in their game plan. Pre-smartphone, no matter which way a girl liked to handle her bookings, she was limited to chatting on the phone. Now there are lots of ways a girl can entice her client.

Here, as with most things, the key is to have a real plan. If you like to flirt a bit while texting back and forth, then keep a few mildly naughty photos in a file where you can easily find and use them. A very short – 15 seconds – teaser video can be seriously sexy. And with your smarty pants phone, you can send images and video pretty much instantly.

For legal, elegance and privacy reasons, a good deal of discretion is a must. You are whetting his appetite not serving digital dinner. And before you send that lovely shot of your balconette bra, ask first. Playing it slow, coy, and seductive is your best strategy. Pushy is never a turn on.

At the same time, an escort can use the fact her perspective date has a smartphone to actually assist her with his screening. These days, more exclusive escorts always look for a way of affirming identity. What could be simpler than a picture of a prospective date’s driver’s licence and business card sent from his phone to yours?

Mobiles and Regulars

With their permission, you can also use your smart phone to stay in touch with regulars. Sending a text saying that your website has been updated is a wonderfully professional way of inviting a regular to see your new pictures. And keep you in their minds.

For more intimate shots, you can offer regulars “Snaps” using Snapchat. (While there are flaws in Snapchat’s “disappear” function, it works well enough that your naughtier pictures will be hard, if not impossible, to access.)

Sending a visual remember me? to a regular you have not seen for a while using your mobile can be a great tactic to fill your appointment book. The nice part about a mobile phone is that, unlike a laptop or a desktop computer, a man’s phone is very private. But, as ever, remember that anything you send over the internet by whatever means can end up places you do not intend. A little wisp of black lace over your face, and lighting on your body rather than your cheekbones, can preserve your privacy.

An Age of Miracles and Wonders

Mobiles are here to stay. And further wonders we can’t even imagine are on the horizon. Adapting your escorting business to a tech-oriented and mobile world will lead to more clients and more opportunities. At the same time, carrying a computer in your handbag means you have to be careful about who has access to it and what data you leave exposed.

For modern escorts, like all the rest of us, a smartphone is a powerful business communications tool. Thinking about how best to use that tool, how to marry text, pictures, video, web presence and plain old phone service to your marketing efforts will make you a successful girl on the go.

51 | EVOLVING YOUR ESCORT BUSINESS

Escorting is a service business and just like any other service business it evolves. Often the difference between a successful service business and one which is just scraping by is planning that evolution.

Business planning is about a lot more than just making money. It is about actually maximizing revenue per hour as well as selling as many high value hours as possible. But the as possible is a key question.

Lawyers talk about billable hours – by which they mean time spent on client matters for which they can actually bill to a client. If you take a lawyer’s 100 hour week, he’ll be lucky to bill 65. The rest of his time is taken up with firm business, billing, administration, research, client development and professional training. All of which is non-billable time.

For escorts, the weekly hours of paid companionship are not all the work they do. Consider an escort who is able to sell 10 appointments a week at an average of $300 an appointment. If each appointment lasts an hour and a half she’s only “working” 15 hours a week. However, if you add another hour per appointment for booking, placing ads, preparation and overhead time she is actually working over 25 hours a week.

Looking at an escort’s business from the perspective of time and money is the beginning of the planned evolution of that business.  Here are a few basics:

Efficiency

If you hold the time commitment constant, are there ways for an escort to increase her revenue per hour worked? Oddly enough, simply reducing the number of basic escort appointments while charging slightly more per appointment can actually improve revenue per actual hour worked. That’s because the hour of unbilled time per appointment vanishes. (And here is a bit of simple math:

25 hours per week for 10 appointments @ $300 per appointment = $3000/week or $120/hour

20 hours per week for 8 appointments @ $325 per appointment = $2600/week or $130 per hour

In planning the progress of your escort business the most effective change you can make may be increasing your efficiency which means reducing the amount of unpaid time you are putting in to order to make your money.

Looking at higher value dates – retro, light domina, spa – can also boost revenue per hour. But cleaning up your escorting schedule will let you book those higher value encounters.

Tempo and Pacing

Marketing and booking your days and your weeks intentionally rather than at random is the sign of a successful escorting business. Let’s build on the example above: you have increased your efficiency and are booking 8 basic 90 minute appointments a week. So, can you handle more? And, if you can, what sort of appointments make sense to add to this schedule?

If you manage your schedule well you should be able to stack your basic appointments into two to three days in a week leaving you free for at least two and sometimes three days. Now you could simply try to book more of your basic dates but the revenue per hour potential there is capped and the overheads will remain. Plus, the reality is that burnout is a real issue if every escort date you do is essentially the same date.

As well, the eight basic dates a week with random clients scenario does nothing to create predictable revenue streams. Filling those slots every week is not a sure thing.

Taking several days a week and filling them with bookings from regulars or from a patron/sugar daddy makes a lot of sense from the predictable money perspective. Even if these escort appointments pay exactly the same or a little less than your basic escort appointments, their overheads will be lower and your stress levels will be reduced. If you open up four slots for regulars and are able to fill them at a slight discount from your regular rates that is an extra $1200 a week. An evening or Saturday afternoon with a patron who is paying you an allowance puts, say, another $500-750 a week in your purse. You can do the math but a patron and four regulars are worth almost as much as your 8 basic dates with a great deal more certainty.

Another route to take is occasionally offering an introductory special where you meet and get to know potential new clients in a short format date for much smaller price. Here you make sure you keep most of your clothes on while giving a potential client a whirlwind tour of your space and services. This is, indeed, client-development and adding five or six such intro dates a couple of times a month will allow you to expand your business quickly and effectively.

Big Fish, Little Fish

When you are planning the evolution of your escort business it is important to understand the relative value of different sorts of clients. A random client who books a basic date is worth precisely the revenue of that appointment: ie: your escort fee of $325 and any tip or gift.

A regular who books twice a month is worth $600 a month plus tips and gifts and, if you can keep him for a year, usually a nice Christmas gift. More to the point: over 12 months you as his escort will be paid $7,200 just in escort fees.

A patron giving you an allowance of $3,000 a month is worth $36,000 over 12 months.

So, the hard core business truth for an escort is that her random basic clients, if she can book 8 a week, are worth $130,000 a year, one at a time. But she can add $62,000 a year by having eight twice a month regular dates and another $36,000 from her patron.  All in, $228,000 a year. Which will fill many a Louboutin shoe box.

Old Fish, New Fish

The other way in which an escort can plan the evolution of her business is to take a serious look at what she can do to increase her rates. Or, more precisely, her effective rates which is to say her earnings per hour on the job.

From a pure business analysis perspective, increasing your effective rates is something you do once you have established your brand and have a steady clientele. And you want to make sure that you do not lose your initial business as you grow your revenues. While you can certainly raise your basic and even your regular’s rates a little, this is not going to make a dramatic change in your overall escort revenue.

Critically, the same service sold in a different way or to a different market can often produce much higher returns. Evolving your escort business to add clients from targeted markets is very doable once you have your initial revenue base established. For example, you can adapt the tactics suggested in my article on part time escorts (link) to find businessmen visiting your city.  You can run such a service on a pure or partial out-call basis and only service the better hotels at a premium price.

Or you can offer themed dates (link) or, if you are a bit bossy, domina services (link) for a change of pace.

If you decide to offer a luxury brand or a specialty, it is likely a good idea to invest in creating a different persona to deliver the services. To move from an escort charging $325 for 90 minutes to a call-girl at $500/hour needs to be a carefully planned. Because you will want to retain your regular escort clients, regulars and patron (if you have one) while upping your game.

Hire a Booker

A booker is a girl hired by a successful escort, and usually paid on a per-date basis or a flat weekly fee, to take care of the phone, email and advertising.

A booker is not an agency or an agent; rather she simply takes messages and either arranges in-call appointments or sends the escort to out-calls. She also takes care of the escort’s advertising – which can become a job in itself if an escort is running two personas.

A good booker can reduce the time an escort spends on making appointments. But, and it is a key element, the escort has to trust the booker’s judgment. Because the booker, not the escort, is doing the client screening.

Other than minimizing downtime, a booker also provides a very valuable cutout between an escort and the paperwork, phone records, and other potentially risky information an escort will have if she books her own appointments. This means that there is a physical separation between the escort and these records. With text messaging, all that need be on the escort’s smart phone is a name, location, and time for an appointment. A simple code can indicate the nature of the appointment. No one but the escort can decipher the code.

A booker will cost an escort a bit - $20 to $40 an appointment is not out of line. However, if the booker saves the escort half an hour per appointment, this will bump the escort’s per hour earnings up significantly.

A booker also provides a degree of security for the escort simply by knowing where she is and how long her appointment is supposed to last. If the escort does not check in with her booker within half an hour after the appointment is set to end, the booker calls the escort and if she can’t reach her, can take whatever action the escort has arranged in advance for such situations. A simple call to the hotel room can do wonders in a difficult situation as can a friend dropping by the apartment.

The downside of having a booker is that there is now one other person who is aware of what the escort does. And perhaps more importantly, the booker has full access to the escort’s personal and business information.

A savvy escort will be very careful when hiring a booker. She needs to trust her booker to watch her back. And she needs to know her booker is trustworthy. It is a wise idea for an escort to tip out her booker on a weekly basis. Nothing says thank you like cash.

(The wonderful women of Soho in London, invariably employed a “maid” who helped dress the girl, took the money, and remained quietly in the kitchen as the date progressed. The Soho maid was a sort of chaperone in reverse.)

Increase your Revenue

As your escort business evolves, your revenue per hour should be increasing. As you establish a luxury or specialty service at $500 per 90 minutes, your basic dates at $325 for the same time begin to look less attractive.

Here is where actually planning the evolution of your escort business pays off. Instead of continuing to advertise your lower priced service you can let those ads lapse to be replaced with your new, luxe persona. Or, and this can make a lot of sense during a transition, you can cut the time on your basic date from 90 minutes to 60 while keeping the price the same.

To go back to the numbers in our example: if you establish a luxe service which books six dates a week, have 2 regulars a week, a patron and eight basic (now one hour) dates per week, your total working time will be around 25 hours. With your booker in place, your time overhead will be around 5 hours, most of which will be date prep. So you will be working 30 hours a week. But you will be grossing $7,000 a week or, roughly, $230 per hour. Not bad. Way better than Starbucks!

As your luxe brand becomes established, you’ll be able to perform a similar evolution of raising your rates and reducing your time commitments. Along the way, you will likely want to have your patron raise your allowance and your regulars move to your new rates.

Careers in the escort business tend to be fairly brief. Girls move on. Life moves on. By planning the evolution of your escort business NOW, you can maximize your profits as an escort, no matter the duration of your escort career.

52 | BUILDING YOUR ESCORT NETWORK

For varied reasons, when independent escorts start in the business, they tend to market their services directly to clients by using advertising. This is a great way to establish an escort business, but in order to expand your current client base, you need to extend your marketing horizons.

Referral marketing or word of mouth, is a huge potential source of clients. Clients who are actively looking for an escort and who prefer not to fly blind. But where can an escort find this clientele who will make her business lucrative?

Clients

The most obvious source of referrals are the clients an escort already has. These gentlemen already know the escort and can recommend her to their friends and business associates.

It is up to the escort whether or not to broach this subject with her clients. Recommendations can be a tricky topic. Asking her better clients if they would be willing to refer people to her, may be met with agreement, or with reluctance due to the fact they are to reveal to their friends that they are using an escort’s services.

To make it easier and more discrete, an escort the savvy escort should invest in elegant cards with her name, city, work number and work email printed on them. A calling card as it were. It bears emphasizing that these cards should not even hint at the fact a girl is an escort. And don’t be clever with words like entertainer or companion; wives are perfectly capable of putting two and two together when a card saying, Anne Jenkins, Companion turns up in a suit pocket before it hits the wash.

Give your client one or two of your calling cards and suggest that if he has the opportunity, you would so appreciate his recommendation of your services to gentlemen whom he thinks would enjoy them. There are no guarantees. Your client might simply throw your cards away, but they have not cost you much, and even if you get two or three client referrals a month, it can really make a difference.

If you are able to determine that one of your clients has referred a new client, make sure you thank your client when next you see him. A slight discount for your services or an unexpected extra will show your gratitude and perhaps inspire additional referrals.

Interestingly, whereas some men never admit to seeing an escort to anyone, others are quite open about the fact. If an escort finds a client with a circle of friends who use escorts, one contact can bring in several new clients.

Other Escorts

Although the escort industry is highly competitive, if you have a friend who is also working in the business, you and she might want to share client lists. There will inevitably be times when you are busy when one of your regulars calls; so instead of losing the appointment entirely (unless it can be rescheduled), passing the booking on to her means you don’t have to disappoint your client, and at least someone you know is getting the business. It often works to everyone’s advantage because men seeing escorts often like variety: a brunette this week, red head the next.

If you client is traveling, being able to suggest an escort in the city he is going to is a huge plus. As an escort you have to remember you are in the service business and great service means being able to arrange for your client’s needs to be met even when he is not seeing you.

Arranging escort-to-escort referrals is straight forward, but you need to be very selective about the girls you are sending your clients to whether in your city or in another. As the referring escort, you are making a recommendation and it will reflect badly on you if the girl you refer is not up to expectations.

Keep in current contact with the girl you are referring clients to. Even if she is in another city, have a Skype video call with her. If you are not close friends, but rather have a friendly mutual acquaintanceship, pay close attention to her personality and traits such as integrity. Does she bring the same professional attitude to her escorting business as you do to yours? Is she playing in your league or even a notch or two above? Is she smart? Ultimately you want your client to be pleased with the girl you are sending him to. Or, at least, not disappointed.

During this conversation it is also important to establish the basics of referrals. First off, particularly in your own city, you would like the escort you are referring your client to be careful not to try to poach him. There is no way to prevent poaching, but talking about it is a start. Second, reciprocation is always appreciated. It does not have to be a perfect balance, but if you are sending an escort a client every couple of weeks you will would hope to see a couple of clients coming from her with a similar regularity.

Out of town arrangements don’t raise the question of taking clients, but a reciprocal arrangement is in each escorts’ interest. At the same time, if you are running your escorting business in Spokane you will be sending your referral escort in Los Angeles a lot more business than she will be sending you. Which, as you are simply giving your regular another layer of great service is not that big a deal. (After all, he’s in Los Angeles.)

Building a referral network in your city as well as connecting with escorts in other cities is part of becoming an elite escort. If you have relationships with three or four girls in your city and half a dozen in the major business centers you can mention the connections on your website (and they can mention you on theirs.) Cross-promoting your escort businesses extends your reach. It is a big wide world web, so use it.

Of course, at a practical level, knowing other girls in your city can also facilitate situations in which an adventurous gentleman is looking for the companionship of two escorts at the same time. This is a not uncommon request and one which a capable escort should always be able to accommodate on fairly short notice. Which, unless he has a willing accomplice, this means you really do need to know some other escorts.

You can build your escort referral network by sending clients with special requests that you either don’t do, or are not set up to do, on to escorts with the required specialty. In particular, if a client wants heavy domination and you don’t have the full whips and chains rig, it is a great idea to have the name of a trustworthy dominatrix handy. She’ll return the favour when someone calls who is really not into whips and chains and just wants an escort’s company.

Having a small referral network of escorts in your city as well as the major business centers will produce a few additional dates; but what it actually does is give an escort a higher profile and a better targeted marketing strategy.

Civilians in the Right Places

Adding non-clients and non-escorts to an escort’s network will, in fact, increase the absolute number of dates she has and, with a little ingenuity and some serious targeting, will move her up-market so that each escorting encounter puts more money in her pocket.

As ever, a degree of discretion is vital when dealing with potential referrers who are outside the escort/client world. So, who are the targets? In general a good referrer is a person who is in contact with gentlemen of means. In particular, people who provide services to travelers – concierges, bar staff in the better hotels are obvious. However, everyone from limo drivers to golf pros to fishing charter operators on through to barbers and spa operators may be able to point potential clients in your direction.

Building a referral network takes a bit of skill and time. You can’t just walk up to a charter boat operator and announce that you are an escort and open for business.  However, in most cities informal networks already exist, your mission, as a savvy escort, is to find these networks and ingratiate yourself.

Make sure you have your calling card and take a short late afternoon trip to a good, but not the most expensive, hotel in your city. Dress as a business woman, minimal make-up. Take your laptop, tablet, or phone and, while ostensibly pecking away, position yourself at the bar. You are trying to find out when the night bar staff come on and, ideally, who the bar boss actually is. Once you have identified the bar boss you either depart (mission accomplished) or further your aims by engaging him in friendly, casual conversation.

It is easy enough to get onto the subject of the nightlife and, once there, to roll the conversation around to how the pickup system works here. With a little luck he’ll chat you up a bit (because you are so charming and lovely), and with a little more luck and some character reading, you’ll get an idea as to whether willing to give a guy a referral in your direction. It never hurts to mention a tip.

A few late afternoons at various bars and you’ll have a solid in with two or three bartenders and, through them, to others in the service industry who might be willing to direct traffic.

Building a referral network outside the escort world can be hard work but the escort dates that this effort yields will be worthwhile. A man who has just won a couple of thousand dollars playing golf may be inclined to celebrate, or a businessman closing a big deal with an evening free after the official party, is an opportunity to segue to escort companionship. If you can put your calling card in the hands of the people who are dealing with these potential clients, your escort business will flourish.

No matter who gives you a referral – your client, another escort, the bartender – always be ready with a thank you and a tip or treat. Be generous and genuine.  A nice hand-written note and a crisp ($50, $100? you decide) bill are always welcome. Consider such a tip as an investment. If the bartender knows you are generous, he’ll keep alert for other opportunities to be of service.

Networks work

In the long run, your escort advertising will bring in the bulk of your basic dates but having a good escort referral network and taking the time to take good care of it will increase your sales. And referrals have the added benefit that they are very discreet indeed.

When an escort wants to take a break or slow down for a week or two, having a good roster of regulars and a referral network, allows her to pull her escort ads and still have business. As well, if an escort wants to take a vacation or has to travel, with a good network of other escorts in place, she can ensure that her regular clients are taken care of.

Ultimately, referrals are about trust. If an escort refers a client to someone else, she trusts them to do a great job and return her client to her all the better for the experience.

53 |CASH

There is something wonderfully attractive about a jewelry box or, better still, a Louboutin shoe box full of cash. Especially if your work is producing more cash every day.

And yet, some escorts who earn a good deal of dollars, have trouble paying their expenses at the end of the month. Many escorts have no savings and a dismal credit rating. Even more either fail to file income tax or file without claiming the deductions they are entitled to. All that cash somehow evaporates.

There are a lot of reasons why, and frankly, there is not much advice I can give about addictions, unemployed boyfriends, or living beyond your means. But there are some good habits which can ensure that your hard work translates into legitimate assets and a nice little nest-egg from the proceeds. Altering spending habits is not painless; but a few changes can make a huge difference at the end of the month and a bigger difference at the end of the year.

Habit #1: Think of yourself as being a business woman. Your escort encounters are the services you sell.  Whether you are a courtesan charging thousands an hour, or a service provider selling your time at what the market will bear, the reality is you are in business.

By taking this notion seriously, you will be able to distinguish a professional from an amateur. Financially, a professional charges for her services and recognizes that not all the money she makes is profit. An amateur is paid and the money she receives looks like a gift.

Habit #2: Net Earnings A professional understands that when she has $1,000 in her purse for a day’s work, she needs to calculate what her net earnings are. This is a vital concept for financial well-being. Net earnings is the amount left over after you have taken care of the expenses you have to incur to make the money. Obvious expenses include the cost of advertising, renting or buying a working space, the cost of clothing, shoes, hair, makeup, sex toys, condoms, candles and anything else you spend which is related to your business.

Be precise. Every expense means just that. Do you have a cell phone used for work? Computer? Website? Photographer? Lawyer? Laundry? New sheets? These are all legitimate expenses.

Habit #3: Think of your expenses as an investment. It takes money to make money. so when you incur business expenses, realize that you are actually investing in your business. The secret to success is to spend money on those things which will increase your earnings.

Upgrading your working space, buying new outfits, opting for a “feature” ad are all things which can raise your profile, your rates and/or get you more business. Hair and make-up, even a boob job – where it can be shown to increase income – may be a depreciable asset for tax purposes. (No, really, Chesty Love established the precedent back in 1986. I’m not kidding.)

Yes, in many jurisdictions escorting may have legal issues; but in all jurisdictions, not filing your taxes is a huge legal issue. However, once you realize you are going to have to file taxes, keeping your receipts for all business related expenses makes it a lot easier.

Habit #4: Have a system. Even if your system is nothing more than a big envelope where you put your business expense receipts knowing where they are is a step forward. So is keeping a running record of how much money you have made. (A bank account will make this easy.)

Habit #5: Have a story. Whether escorting is legal in your jurisdiction or not, there are many stigmas still attached to the sex trade. You are under no obligation to disclose the precise nature of your business. So, have a story. You are a “consultant”, “party planner” – great stories to explain where the cash comes from. It is not a bad idea for this story to be true (or somewhat true). I’ll get to day jobs below, but it is wise to have one.

Habit #6: Bank. Having a bunch of cash in a shoebox is lovely but it’s risky – theft, boyfriend, buying your own champagne – and it doesn’t do a thing for your financial reputation. First order of business: get a bank account with a debit card and computer banking. Initially you will just need one bank account but down the road you may want another for straight savings and investment.

Habit #7: Build your financial profile. Making a sizable deposit once or twice a week, even if you take most of the money out via your debit card later that day, will build your financial reputation. So will paying your bills using computer banking. Small, regular transactions will give the bank the data points it needs to begin to see you as a desirable customer.

If possible, find a smaller bank where there are still tellers and possibly even an actual manager who will see you. Yes, bank machines are wonderfully convenient but more for taking money out, than making deposits.

Habit #8: Mix your income. Having cash is not illegal, but just try to deposit $20,000 cash all in one go. You would think you were robbing the bank rather than putting money in. You want to be paid and cash is easiest. However, accepting credit and debit cards gives your clients more options and you deposits which are not cash. (Check out Square for an easy way to accept credit cards using your smart phone.)

When you are accepting bookings from out of town, use PayPal to take a deposit/booking fee.

Remember that you should try to ensure that your services look entirely innocent on your client’s credit card statement. “Hot Kitty Inc.” will raise red flags, “HK Consulting” will likely not.

As well, look to vary the amounts deposited and the amounts charged on credit cards. Satisfying as it is to have 10 dates at $300 if every deposit is $300 it can trigger the bank to look more closely. A mix of credit card charges, even if you have to give a client a Thursday afternoon 10% off special, is preferred.

The point is to have a mix of cash, PayPal money and credit card receipts hitting your account.

Habit #9: Pay your taxes. As a self-employed person, you are responsible for paying your own taxes. It is tempting to do this the day before they are due -- tempting but dangerous. If you make $50,000 gross and your net taxable income (after legitimate expenses) is $35,000 your federal tax for that year will be on the order of $4,500 plus state tax plus social security plus other taxes. Call it $6,000 for sake of argument. $500 a month. Coming up with $6,000 at tax time is going to be tough, if not impossible.

Habit #10: Pay Forward. Let’s say you have a good week and have $3,000 in cash come Monday morning. What should you do? First, put all the money into your bank account. Second, and this is hard, pay tax. If your monthly tax “nut” is about $500, then pay the $125 weekly amount but, and this requires discipline, pay another $125 forward. Third, sit at your computer and pay some bills: phone, cable, heat, electricity. Using on-line payment means you can pay a part of the bill each week and be up to date or even ahead of the game. If you have a credit card, pay that down as quickly as possible to avoid interest charges.

The good news – at least about paying tax forward, is that if you overpay, at the end of the year, you get a tax refund which is a form of saving.

Habit #11: Save 10-15% of after-tax money. If you take your $3,000 cash and deduct the tax paid of $125 you have $2,875, 10% is about  $400, 15% is $600…save it. Initially just keep it in your bank account but when you have a couple of thousand dollars saved, get a pure savings account and then, a tax-advantaged investment account.

Building a regular savings habit makes the difference between scrambling every month and having nothing at the end of the year; and having a nest egg which is growing every month.

Habit #12: Get and pay for advice. There are thousands of “financial advisers” out there. Some will help you with taxes, some will recommend investments, some will try to sell you insurance. What you need is a fee-for-service pro. Not when you are just starting, but when you see your first $10,000 in your savings account start asking around. Your bank manager is a good place to start (but remember he wants to sell you his bank’s products.)

Habit #13: Have a Day Job – a real day job but one which is very flexible. The best sorts of day jobs are entirely divorced from the escort world. Web design, freelance writing, or modeling may be options for you. The point is to have an income stream that will pay you in cheques and which is entirely above-board. Your day job does not have to pay much, it just has to provide you with a real cover story.

The other reason you need a day job, is that escorting is not forever and a six year gap in your resume looks odd to employers. Better to be able to say that you managed a chocolate shop than to draw a blank.

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With a bit of organization and discipline, a girl selling $3,000 a week in escort services can save $2,400 a month and nearly $30,000 a year. And she’d still have over $8,000 a month to live on.

But, I should warn you, once you start saving, it gets to be a habit. Putting away $2,400 a month is great, but by saving rather than spending $350 more a week you would be saving close to $4,000 or nearly $50,000 a year. Well invested, the saved income from a few years in the business can give a girl a real advantage for life.

54 | OFF-TIME FOR THE AMBITIOUS ESCORT

Ah, what in the world to do? An escort, even a busy one, will find herself with time on her hands. You can structure your business to be busier and thus more lucrative, but let’s face it, it just isn’t a twelve hour day any way you cut it. What you do in your spare time is a choice of course. But you can either waste it or work it to your advantage. An ambitious escort uses her off time to improve her marketability and her skills. Whether you are working part-time or full-time, an escort needs to take time for herself. From an outside perspective, escorting seems like the easiest enterprise, but those in the business know that it can be physically and mentally taxing. And if you don’t care of both body and mind, you aren’t going to be in the escort biz for long. So, sit back, relax, and keep reading…..

Men visit escorts for a wide variety of reasons and while most escort dates end much the same way, adding value can make the difference between a client having a so-so experience, and a client eager to come back again.  The more an escort brings to her encounters, the more likely she is to have loyal (and generous) clients. So rather than surfing the net or reading fashion magazines, you, as an ambitious escort, can start using your downtime to be productive.

Stay Informed

The further up the client ladder you go, the more your clients will expect from you. Knowing a little about the world is a huge asset. Basic things like headline news, how the economy is doing, which local sports teams are winning, is one side of the equation. And it is a side which will let you carry on a conversation and ask intelligent questions over cocktails.

There are terrific resources online which will keep you in the information loop. Simply scanning Google News once a day will keep you up to date. Remember that reading about issues gives you a knowledge base in order to interact with others. Discussion, debates, differing opinions and viewpoints all serve to expand your world and your attitudes. But bear in mind, spending too much time online means you may miss the stimulation which real live humans can give.

The other side of being informed on the big issues, is the softer, more feminine world of food, fashion, design, wine, and books. You don’t have to be an expert, rather you need to learn your own tastes.

So how do you do this? Get the basics down pat, and then get good at something. Really dig into a subject that gets you excited. Then you can delve further into your favourite aspects, and then get really good at it. Yes, practice, practice, practice---and you will eventually acquire a specialty or a specialization. For instance, you love to bake? Great! Bake cookies, bake bread, bake macaroons. Read cookbooks, scour http://food52.com/ , http://www.thekitchn.com/  and http://smittenkitchen.com/ for starters. Figure out what you love to make most (cheesecake? pie?) and make them until you can do so like a master, like a machine. Make as many flavours and variations as there is time and recipes for. You know the old adage that it takes 100 hours of practice to do something well? So, get started. Whatever gets you moving with a spring in your step is what you should to be doing. And getting to know IT, is really a way of getting to know YOU.

Not every subject you explore is going to stick. But the ones that do are the ones that are in sync with something deep within you. This can be a source of fun, a hobby, a distraction; or it can be life-changing. You may, for example, discover you have an eye for design, then go on to learn that your penchant is for sleek, simple, modern lines. In furniture, in décor, in art, in your wardrobe choices. You become a more interested and interesting human being because you suddenly see the world around you in a whole new way. This opens up ideas, doors, and is often the springboard for life shifting decisions. The kind of exciting, adrenaline-racing moves that succeed because they are based on self-knowledge rather than based on whims or whimsy. Your drive and focus is like a magnet, bringing new people into your sphere, and in turn you have something to offer as you enter theirs.

How does this tie back to improving your life as an escort and your escort business? Well, you absolutely sparkle because your life is much more than the girl men pick from a sexy ad for a service they seek. Ironically, having a big life not at all attached to the escort trade makes you likely to be much more successful at it. Your escorting business, is similar in many ways to the modeling industry. You get chosen from a photo, booked, you show up (or they do), you look pretty, and it’s a job based virtually entirely on the superficial. Yet if you are (much, much) more than merely a pretty face and an available body, you won’t take it personally if someone else is chosen over you, and you regard escorting in business terms, not personal.

The layers of knowledge and the skills you develop in your off hours are the ones that only those who come to know you are privy to. For others, they get glimpses of something more than that which meets the eye. Your client invites/hires you to a dinner date; you know which restaurants are best; you know what to order because you know what you like; and the wine list is not some indecipherable hieroglyphic document because you know about grapes and matching food with wine. The client, in your capable hands, is guided to a fabulous experience, as well as a fabulous meal. He’ll remember the evening, and remember you in particular. In fact, you might not last long as an escort, because some smart and perceptive man is going to snatch you up, you gem, and make you his mistress, girlfriend, or wife. We romantics still believe in happily ever after. But we also believe we make our own luck. You’ve used your spare time to make yours. Hurrah!

Education

Many people consider their education as essentially finished when they have graduated from high school or college. This does not have to be true, especially if you are an escort. Particularly if you ARE an escort, in fact. Taking a course or a certificate, or even an entire college degree, will enhance your life and your marketability as an escort. Simply having interesting things to talk about as a result of what you are learning will add a dimension to your clients’ experience with you. Having a degree, or working on one, will make you more marketable. An escort ad with the word “educated” in it stands out from the pack.

Alternatively, rather than taking random courses which interest you, think about the possibility of taking a certificate course which will give you skills. What do you like to do? Whether it is woodwork or soap making, having an escort’s income and schedule lets you take courses which will give you skills for your post-escort life, or which will allow you to set up a sideline business to test and get off the ground while you still have your escorting income to fall back on.

Classes

The difference between a class and a course is that a class will teach something pretty self-contained. In most cities, classes are available for everything from basic webpage design to knitting to art.

While most classes are offered in the evenings and are potentially a scheduling nightmare for a busy escort, there are usually others to be found during the day and on weekends. So, with a bit of planning, an escort can learn what she wants, or needs to, in a way that doesn’t interfere with her schedule. Most escorts have their mornings free, so taking a college level course on anything from Chinese art to accounting will only take up a couple of those a.m. hours.

Some classes will further your knowledge in a subject you already know something about. You can work your smart phone, but can you get the most out of it? You can take a picture, but can you take a picture worth framing? Learning the basics of photography or graphic design gives an escort the ability to work proficiently with photographers and ad designers by speaking the industry jargon they understand. You can speak their language, as it were. Or you can cleverly learn to design your own ads and business cards. If you get really good at graphic design, there is also great potential in setting up a sideline business or working as a freelancer. A work from home gig allows you to work around your escort schedule while giving you another income stream.

Taking a make-up class can really make a difference in enhancing your look and your make-up application skills. Learning from real pros can let you take your basic make-up and adapt it to different escorting assignments – sultry evening looks are not the same techniques as those for a lunch date. Department stores often offer free makeovers, and although you are not obligated to buy the products, it is nice if you buy a little something, both as a way of compensating the clerk for her time, and so you can replicate the look at home.

From a business perspective, acquiring a basic proficiency in another language can be very lucrative for an escort. Language classes are easy to find, as are private tutors who will often come to your home to teach. If flexibility is what you need, a tutor is the route to take. Foreign speakers will often trade off time with you so you can practice your Italian with them, for instance, if they can practice their English with you. As an escort, you don’t have to know the written form of French or Chinese to charm the generous gentlemen from these areas. Learning basic conversational versions of in-demand languages gives an escort a competitive edge. And it’s just darn useful: you can travel, you can translate, you can order. Translated: freedom, money, survival. Yep, a pretty good skill to have.

Interning

Because you make your money from escorting, you can afford to take on intern jobs which pay little or nothing but provide experience and also fill in any chronological gaps in your resume. Having an intern gig, or a series of gigs, means that your resume will have entries during the time you have been escorting. No small thing if you eventually are looking for a job. From an escorting perspective, the best thing about interning is that since you are not being paid, you can usually set your hours to mesh with your escorting schedule.

If you want to know more about the fashion business or interior decorating or public relations, keep an eye out for intern jobs. When jobs do come up, it is often the eager intern who has already learned the ropes, who is hired. Better still, use that escort moxie and create an intern job where there isn’t one. Pick a business where you think you would like to work and where interning would teach you something you’d like to know, and pitch them your idea. Even if your only skill is enthusiasm, on the right day that might be just what they need. (One word of caution: that escorting client who happens to be the PR manager for a large company? Don’t ask him for an intern position. It’s awkward and blurs too many lines. You can ask if he knows of any PR shops looking for an intern. My bet is he will be thrilled to help.)

Volunteering

Very similar to interning, but usually more charitable - or service - oriented. For the escort, a three-hour-a-week commitment visiting the elderly or helping at a food bank is unpaid time that is rewarding in other ways, and overall beneficial for her mental balance and general sanity. The escort lifestyle can become unreal very, very quickly. Volunteering for a few hours will reconnect you back to the reality of the day to day. It also reconnects you with who you are as a person, not as an escort.

If you want to gain by doing good, (tisk, tisk), volunteer to sort merchandise at your local thrift or consignment store. Most sorters are allowed to have first dibs on choicer items – your collection of stockings, vintage garter belts, girdles, and stunning sleepwear will soon be overflowing your closets. Some shops even have staff discounts. Because you are an escort, you have the time to volunteer and so you should take advantage of the opportunity. Some girls who have the thrifting bug and a great eye, make a goodly amount of cash by reselling retro items for a substantial profit. Used (your city).com and your local craigslist are the way to advertise your goods for free and connect you with your potential buyers.

Exercise

For obvious reasons, exercise is (or should be if it isn’t) a priority to an escort. Staying in shape has more benefits than just a tight tummy and a pert bottom. It means staying healthy in a stressful environment. Even a daily walk in the park will make you fitter. Taking time away from your escort business is essential for health and general happiness.

For some women, the gym is the solution. An hour every couple of days devoted to a stepper or a stationary bike will work off those high end dinners. Look at very light weight training. Nothing will tone up your arms and legs faster than weights but make sure you get good advice. Remember that getting sore is not the same as getting strong. Get help. Time with a personal trainer will let you set up the best possible exercise regime. And since you are paying for the equipment and the services, this monetary commitment encourages you to show up even when your motivation may lag. The gym scene is not for everyone, however, so look into yoga, dancersize, Pilates, and other fitness classes. Walking, running, and cycling groups will give you comradery and the motivation to move.

As helpful as group-driven activities may be, there is also a lot to be said for the self-propelled program. Doing your errands on a bicycle will give you a workout without really even noticing it. So will walking rather than driving. Sure, if you are going to an escort date downtown and you are wearing four inch heels, a cab is the way to go, but whenever you can, leave the car at home. Or, better still, if you live in a city with a good transit system, sell the car and save the money. Even budgeting for a monthly cab allowance is cheaper than gas, maintenance, insurance, and parking.

Grooming

An escort’s look is a key part of the package she presents. But even though grooming is important, it doesn’t mean it can’t be fun as well. A regular mani/pedi and wax for all the important bits is basic. But why not combine it with a facial, a good soak in a mineral- rich deep spa tub and followed with a full massage? Yes, spa services are an extravagance; but often if you ask nicely, you would be surprised at how many men would be delighted to fund your pampering as a prelude to their own.

A great haircut can rocket you several price points up the escort scale; but you have to maintain the cut, the colour, and the condition. Again, yes it is pricy, but for an escort, her grooming can be the difference between a $100 an hour and a $300-$500 fee. Just a more polished, head-turning you. Play the game and look like you’re worth it.

When you are going to the spa or the salon turn your escort smart phone off. Take early appointments so you can relax without worrying about missing a potential booking. (And, if you are on a travel date, make sure you negotiate spa time as part of the deal. If you don’t ask, you won’t get.)

Mindfulness

A huge problem escorts face is burnout (anxiety, depression, lack of energy or ambition). Doing much the same thing day after day, especially where there is a good deal of intimacy with comparative strangers, a degree of risk, and a lack of privacy, can all add up and leave an escort drained at the end of the week.

To build up reserves of inner strength, a practice of Mindfulness is a habit an escort can cultivate. It is not difficult and there is no right way to achieve it; rather it is the capacity to be still and reflect inwardly. It is a way to process the events of the day-- the encounters, the conversations, the actions-- to mull them over put them in their place, and have a state of inner peace about all that transpired. Meditation is another practice helpful for escorts. To be quiet means silence in your environment and in your mind. Setting aside a few minutes every day to sit still and think about absolutely nothing takes you out of the world of goals, and achievements, and commitments. Interestingly, the personal benefits of both practices, also extends to your escorting business because it gives you an ability to handle yourself and others with a degree of gentleness and openness.

Someone to Talk To

People in high performance, high pressure, confidential jobs - lawyers, doctors, judges, spies - are encouraged to have a professional confidential listener available to them.  Professional listeners range from psychiatrists through counselors all the way to priests and spiritual directors. Professional listeners let the people they listen to unload their "stuff"  in a safe,  private, non-judgmental setting. In some cases the people they listen to have real issues which they are working through, in others the listening is not issue driven.

As an escort, you often join the ranks of the professional listeners. You hear your client's secrets, their hidden fantasies, how their marriages are faring and, from time to time, you provide consolation and, often, healing. But who hears, consoles and heals you? Sometimes meditation, mindfulness, and exercise are just not enough to relieve your stress. If your escorting is a business you prefer to keep private, friends are sadly not part of your support system. And your clients are not paying you to talk about yourself. So, who do you talk to?  Who listens to you?

For an hourly rate, there are lots of counselors whose job it is to listen.  No judgment, just the occasional question to keep the ball rolling.  Checking in once or twice a month for an hour’s chat about how you are doing can make the difference between escort burnout and a healthy, unconflicted attitude.

No money to spare on such a session? Or not really wanting or willing to? Buy a pen and a notebook. Start a journal. Talk to yourself in the pages. You will be amazed at how, in the act of writing your life, things become clearer, problems start to sort out, and you gain a fresh, new perspective. After all, nobody knows you better than you do.

55 | After Escorting

There are many escorts whose careers go on for years. And there are girls who escort for a few months and move on. No matter what, every escort, at some point, leaves the business. So, while you are booking dates and the money is rolling in, it is a good idea to think about what you want to do after escorting. It is an even better idea to start preparing for your exit long before you make it.

How a girl leaves escorting is largely up to her. Some will simply stop. They will pull their ads, change their number and, in some extreme cases, move right across the country to begin a different life. Other girls will take a long good bye. They will taper their advertising off or only advertise for weekends. Or they will stop advertising entirely but will continue to see their regular clients. It is a decision which each girl has to make according to her own circumstances.

What next?

To a degree how a girl chooses to leave the escorting world may depend on what she is planning on doing next. While a girl can certainly escort while going to school, traveling or working full time or even being married, each of these alternatives put limits on your ability to see clients.

While you cannot control when the perfect husband is going to materialize – although there are more than a few things which can hasten the day – you can control decisions like going to school, taking time to travel or finding a job or starting your own business.

Working as an escort, especially an independent escort, gives you the luxury of time. You control your schedule and you can create space in that schedule to actually figure out what you want to do next.

There are dozens of books and websites devoted to the nuts and bolts of educational and career choices and exploring them is well worthwhile. But, before you do it is useful to take a look at what you actually like doing. Armed with your escorting income you have created a place where you can make choices; taking your time to explore your alternatives is a great way of taking advantage of the freedom escorting affords.

One thing leads to another

Contrary to what most high school guidance counsellors suggest, there does not seem to be a single, right path for most people. Sure, there are some eight year olds who say they are going to be firemen and darned if they don’t end up as firemen – but that is far from most people’s experience.

A more realistic model is one which suggests that opportunity is all around us but that it is pretty random. What matters is not a specific goal or career but rather that you actually get out into the world.

This is not as random as it seems. You can and will narrow your choices based on what you like to do and, of course, on your qualifications. However, simply recognizing that the opportunities exist is the first step in coming up with a plan.

The idea that one thing leads to another is extremely powerful. As most job advisors and executive headhunters will tell you, the jobs you actually want are almost never advertised. And people who start businesses will often find that the business they thought they were starting changes into a business which the marketplace wants without them really intending that to happen. The point is to “get inside” the opportunity space you want to become a part of.

One of the escorts we were talking to on another story is a great example of this. Lisa had been escorting for a couple of years in a mid-sized American city. We interviewed her because she had made the transition to part time escorting. We asked her how.

“I was doing a photo shoot with a really great photographer and he noticed I was doing my own make-up. Nothing too fancy but I have always really liked make-up and clothes. We were shooting in the morning and he had another girl coming in after lunch. He asked me if I could do her make-up. I’d never really done anyone else’s make-up but I said I would give it a try. I did and the shoot turned out well.”

“About a week later the same photographer called and asked if I could do a couple of girls he was shooting. This time it was a paid gig. Not a lot and nothing compared to what I could make escorting; but it was money and fun.”

“Things sort of snowballed from there because the models liked what I did and when they were on a shoot they’d ask if I could do their make-up. I got to know a bunch of the photographers and one of them asked me to “style” a shoot which meant finding the clothes and the accessories and even some of the locations. It is a ton of work but I love doing it.”

“So now I have a really cool little business doing make-up and styling. I’ve cut my escorting business back to just regulars and referrals. My styling business is all totally above board with all the money going right to the bank. I still like escorting – and I love the cash – but my plan is to be done in another year. I have one client who would like some sort of exclusive mistress arrangement and I suspect I will do that. But I am getting too busy styling to really do more than a few dates a week.”

Avoid the Blank Spot

If you go through a formal job application process you will almost always have to provide a resume. The problem with escorting is that it can create months, even years of inexplicable time. Even day to day we are all asked, “And what do you do?” and most escorts prefer not to open up their professional lives in social situations.

A useful and comprehensive answer, on a resume or at a party, is to be a student. Taking even one course – whether it is about how to build a website or do fashion merchandising or whatever – fills in the blank. Of course, actually taking a course or two does a lot more than that.

First off, taking a course or three give you exposure to a particular field. If you think you might like to do something then a short introductory course can really focus your attention and give you some concrete information about what that interest might mean in terms of work.

Second, spending time studying something means that you will be working with a teacher in a milieu where your interest is the focus. Not only will you learn the things your course is about, you will also be exploring the people and the opportunities in that area.

Courses are offered by night schools, community colleges, technical schools and a whole array of other organizations. Most can be taken on a very part time basis for short periods of time.  While some courses are very expensive, there are usually much less expensive alternatives. When you are trying to figure out what you want to do taking a few courses is a great way of sampling what’s out there.

Some courses will require pre-requisites such as high school graduation but, if you check with the instructor, these are often waived for older students. On the other hand, advanced courses really do have pre-requisites so you need to plan accordingly.

Taking a few courses will fill in the blank and give you exposure but they will not provide you with any sort of serious credential. For that you need to actually take a program leading to a certificate, diploma or degree. All of which is doable over time when you actually know what you want to do.

The Intern Option

Working for free seems like a mugs game but if you are doing well with your escorting business it is a great way to gain exposures and develop contacts. Internships come in two flavours: formal, often semi-full time, positions which companies offer because they actually need extra people and informal, part time, invented on the spot, opportunities. Formal internships actually have hiring processes and require resumes and interviews. They are well worth looking into if you are interested in anything from publishing to law. But they are usually highly competitive and often set up to favour very specific sort of candidates (such as the company’s best client’s kids.) Don’t be discouraged if you apply and are not taken on.

Informal internships are just that, informal. Basically you create the internship yourself by volunteering to work in an environment which interests you. Everything from non-profits and public broadcasters through to photographers and designers and interesting retail stores will often be delighted if you want to intern.

Creating your own internship takes some research and more than a little chutzpah. You need to find the place you want to work, figure out what you can bring to the party and then make an appointment with the decision maker to make your pitch. Most people who actually make decisions are run off their feet so an extra pair of hands is often welcome. Don’t worry if your first task is answering the phone or posting to social media – once you have your foot in the door the power of one thing leading to another kicks in.

Your own Business

Escorts, whether they know it or not, are already in business. Particularly if you are an independent escort you are running your own service business. You have business income, expenses, marketing and advertising and even repeat customers. Recognizing that you have already had experience running a business is a great first step towards running another business.

There are two big issues to overcome starting your own business. The first is having a business idea which will find a market and make money. The second is having enough money to finance the startup and get you through the period where the business is not yet making money.

Your escorting can create the savings you need to start your business and, if you are able to keep escorting while your business is getting off the ground, it will see you through. So, money, per se, is not likely to be your stumbling block. Now, what business makes sense for you?

There are tens of thousands of businesses which you can start up. The internet is full of opportunities. So are business publications and life style magazines. Picking a niche which is right for you can be more than a little daunting.

For an escort looking to create a business there are at least a couple of things to pay attention to: first, look very carefully at startup costs. Spending a lot of money up front may make sense but it certainly increases your risk because most small businesses fail. While failure is part of the business learning curve, a failure which costs you $500 dollars may well teach you just as much as one which costs $50,000.

Second, look for businesses where you are selling your services rather than a particular product. Selling services means that you will not have a lot of money tied up in products which may not sell. And, as your escorting business is teaching you, selling services is about marketing and advertising and you already know the basics.

Third, look for businesses which can “scale”. When you start your business you might be spending a few hours a week on it, as it grows your time commitment will grow but so will your revenues. Look at whether your business concept can profitably employ other people. You personally have only so much time. But if you can bring on employees or sub-contractors you can do very well indeed.

Examples of service businesses range from online jobs like being an online personal assistant – a great business because you can bring on other people as it grows – through to web design, downsizing consulting, de-cluttering, freelance research and on out to things like rental agent or vacation planner or personal shopper. Things which you can begin as a part time thing but which have serious growth potential.

Partnering

Independent escorting can be a very solitary activity. For a complete change of pace it may be worthwhile to look around for people with great business ideas who would like to work with someone else. If you have been careful with your escort money you should be able to bring a bit of startup cash to the table.

It is tough to find a good partner and you will likely have to go to a lot of business meet ups and chat with a lot of unlikely people before finding a good fit. Before you do, remember to make a mental list of what you bring to the table. A bit of cash. Likely some computer and marketing savvy picked up running your escorting business. Plus, and you have to be subtle about this, it is quite possible that some of your regulars may have skills or connections which your partnership might need.

Serious Travel

Spending two weeks in Europe is terrific fun. You can see a lot and learn a lot. But serious travel is about spending a long time in one country and very possibly, in one location in that country. Some girls have big time wanderlust and if you ask them why they are escorting they are driven by the urge to put down roots a long way from home.

No matter where you want to travel it is important to plan and research your destination. It is also important to be realistic about how much money it will take to live once you get there. Setting aside money every month is a great idea but, realistically, taking money from every encounter and putting it in your travel fund will get you on the plane to Italy or Australia all that much faster.

For some girls, once they have the money to take the big trip, that is the end of their escorting career. For others escorting is a moveable feast. Either way, once you are on the plane to your dream destination, the escorting decision is yours to make.

Marriage

It is pretty easy for an escort to become cynical about marriage as she sees husbands and fathers trooping through their in calls or summoning them to hotels. In fact, a general weariness with men can be the result of a few years in the business. However, lots of girls get past this and have active dating lives.

Escorting will also, at the higher end, have exposed you to some of the more pleasant aspects of affluence. Really gorgeous hotels, great clothes, fabulous food and luxury days at resorts or spas all underscore the pleasures of wealth or, at least, stability. If you can find clients at this level it should not be impossible to find a man you’d like to marry. But that will take a degree of preparation.

While it is possible to combine escorting with married life – though you need brilliant time management skills and a very relaxed husband – many escorts will leave the business when a straight relationship becomes more serious.  Again, planning is important here.

If escorting is your sole source of income the prospect of marriage creates a set of dilemmas. First off, what, if anything, are you going to tell your prospective husband. If you are not planning on telling him anything then you’ll need a serious cover story. Which, interestingly, takes us right back to avoid the Blank Spot. While men are often a bit dense when under the spell of a beautiful, sexy woman the sort of men that you might want to marry are also, eventually, pretty smart. They are going to notice if two years of your life have no real activity. And they will notice now if you don’t work but have money.

Most of his curiosity will be satisfied if you have been going to school and have the beginnings of a part time business or work part time. Essentially, that will put the necessary check marks in the boxes and you can get on with creating your marriage.

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To have a pleasing, fulfilling life after escorting you need to be paying attention right from the moment you start escorting in any serious way. Avoiding the Blank Spot is key. And avoiding it by doing things which will actually increase your opportunities post escorting makes a lot of sense.

Escorting gives a girl the gift of time but it is entirely up to her how she uses that gift to drive towards her own goals. However, unlike money which can be saved, time past is time gone. While a week or two here and there will make little difference, a Blank Spot which lasts a couple of months can be difficult and a year is effectively impossible to explain on a resume or to a new friend.

One thing really does lead to another and even if you have no real idea what you want to do after escorting, by trying things while you are escorting, you’re more likely to find the sorts of things which you can imagine yourself doing. The more you do the more you will know and the more people will be in your post escorting network. Building out that network while you have the time and the money escorting gives you sets you up for the next steps in your life.

56 | A QUICK GUIDE TO STOCKINGS

I talk about stockings a lot in this book. But we live in a modern age, mores the pity, and many girls will be unsure exactly what I mean and not aware of the fascinating world of nylons.

I assure you that once you start wearing stockings, you will want to wear them even when you aren’t working. They are as delightful to the wearer as to the lucky man who gets a glimpse.

Pantyhose, on the other hand, are horribly unflattering and are neither comfortable nor fun to wear. Some women simply give up and opt to go bare-legged instead. But unless you are going to the beach, you need a more polished look with your dresses and skirts. And let’s face it, few of us have perfect legs. Stockings provide a smooth, transparent effect while adding a soft shimmer to subtly enhance what you already have. And isn’t “illusion” what great lingerie is really all about anyway?

Some excellent fashion brands, like Donna Karan, offer stockings so check out the hosiery department carefully. In general, stockings can often be rather hard to find, with rather few to choose from when you do. There remains a tiny contingent of manufacturers which still use the few remaining original hosiery machines left in the world.

Thigh-high stay-ups are an excellent option and, if you have never worn stockings before, these are a good introduction. They are worn without a garter and stay put by some sort of gripping system at the top. Check out the many clever modern options here: http://lingerie.about.com/od/HoseCamiSlips/tp/10-Thigh-Highs-That-Will-Stay-Up.htm

Vintage Stockings

Stockings from the 1940s and 50s are what you are really after. Vintage stockings are currently very collectable (especially if in box) and those from the venerable couture houses of old, such as Christian Dior and Schiaparelli, generate fierce bidding and command ever-escalating prices. It is a hosiery style that is unparalleled in quality and beauty. To gain an education in this world, type in “vintage stockings” at ebay.com and prepare to be fascinated. From expensive, original lingerie posters that you will covet for your boudoir ($1,000 - $2,500), to the cool (Twiggy stockings in a 60s psychedelic package, $160), to the rare (textured hose with the faces and signatures of The Beatles along the welt), to everything in between and beyond. Once you purchase a pair ($20 including shipping for basic seamless nylons), you will want to collect (many, many) more. Unlike the generic $5 pantyhose you pick up at the supermarket, vintage hosiery preserved from a bygone era has a story, a past. It speaks of something quite elegant, sensual, and erotic.

Stunning retro stockings come in luxurious options such as silk, seamed, sheer, and shades. DENIER (how many threads of nylon) differentiates the level of opaqueness in the stocking trade: the higher the denier, the softer and silkier the feel. They range from ultra-sheer –7, 10, and 15 denier, up to a 40 denier which is opaque.  Stockings knitted with a higher denier are less sheer but more durable. Since stockings were designed to be worn with a garter belt, a reinforced panel at the top of the stocking was knitted separately in a heavier denier yarn and machine-sewn and double folded to give strength for fastening the supports. This is called the WELT.

Some stockings have heel and toe reinforcements to prevent runs, others are sandalfoot (all sheer) for wear with open-toed pumps. CUBAN HEEL stockings are the holy grail of stocking aficionados. Also known as FULLY-FASHIONED hose, this refers to a steamed stocking with a line in the back to the thigh up to the KEY HOLE and above to the top of the stocking. A darker colour covers the toes and the bottom of the foot is squared off in the back of the heel. Fully-fashioned stockings were the most popular style until the 1960s. They are, bar none, the sexiest hosiery. Ever.

One of the objections modern women have to stockings is that they require time and effort, and are fussier than simply pulling on sausage casings (Oh, did I say that? I meant pantyhose, of course!) Yes, this is true, stockings do have delightful and intimate intricacies and accoutrements. The wearer must handle the nylon or silk with care. Putting on one’s stockings is art, and a sensual experience because of its very unrushed nature. Choosing a beautiful garter belt, waist-cincher, garter skirt, girdle, or corset to anchor one’s stockings, adds another dimension to a woman’s lingerie drawer. How, I ask, can anyone be too busy to indulge themselves in such a wonderful way? Perhaps women have become altogether too busy and too darn practical. Not the escort, though. Focusing on the erotic is her forte and a large measure of her appeal.

57 | An Escort’s Guide to Corsets

Your great-grandmother knew what she was about. Ladies undergarments of the Victorian and Edwardian era were not only beautiful, they were extravagant, ornate and highly crafted. The time of 1890-1910 was known as the “frills” era in lingerie, as it was beginning to be called, and featured lace, ribbons, ruffles, embroidery, appliqués and all manner of decoration and detailing. Gorgeous fabrics like silk and satin were used for items such as camisoles, crinolines, petticoats, chemises and, of course, the corset.

Corsets fell out of fashion in the 1920’s. If you are a Downton Abbey fan, you can actually see in the episodes where Lady Mary is cinched in, and when she is “liberated”.  The inherent beauty and posture which a corset can impart is a necessary part of the pre-WWI fashions, but is relaxed in the 1920’s.

But what is a corset anyway–and why should an escort know–or care?

Novelty and Beyond

At a certain level, escorting is about a lot more then encounters of an adult nature. It is about creating and fulfilling fantasies. The only limit is the escort’s imagination. Her clients will remain her clients, when she can offer them diversions which they are not likely to get at home or, frankly, from other escorts. To be unique is one element of success.

Most girls will have discovered the delights of pretty lingerie and how much their clients enjoy the pleasures of lacy push-up bras and matched panties. Some girls will have moved on and deployed flattering garter belts and long, sheer stockings. And there is no doubt about the sexy effects of stockings and a nice set of heels. If you have been reading my essays (and you should), you will also have incorporated lacy, silky slips and chemises into your lingerie wardrobe and, I suspect, have delighted your clients in doing so.

But once those essentially modern intimates have been deployed, you are pretty much at the end of the Victoria’s Secret, or better still, La Perla, catalogue’s bag of lingerie tricks. So, now what?

Well, if you look carefully in either catalogue, you’ll find wonderfully lightly structured garments referred to as bustiers. As La Perla puts it, “The bustier is an iconic garment like no other, between the underwear drawer and that corner of the wardrobe for really special outfits.”

See: http://www.laperla.com/us/lingerie/bustiers.html

Indeed, well for their price of between $300 and $1,600 I would hope so.

The bustier is the modern cousin of the corset. Lightly boned – which refers to stripes of plastic or metal running vertically in the seams –  the bustier supports the breasts from below and has a slight waist trimming effect. Bustiers come with either cups or simple shelves for your breasts. Brilliantly, they can easily make the transition from innerwear to outerwear and are really quite gorgeous.  A bustier or two in your lingerie drawer is always an asset.

Your gentlemen callers will be intrigued by bustiers, but they will be blown away by a full on corset. The fact is that bustiers are well within the fashion mainstream. Victoria’s Secret has them on sale for $35 and they are a staple of suburban girls’ date nights and Valentine’s lingerie surprises. In mall land a cheap Chinese-made bustier is a long established mating call.

So, in terms of novelty value, even a well-made Italian bustier has become depreciated.  But while the busier and her close cousins the merry widow and the corselette may have become old hat in the bedrooms of suburbia, their older, more sophisticated, more complex and much more structured ancestress, the corset, is redolent of another world and still reigns supreme .

For an escort, while a bustier may well be playful, a corset is a much more serious matter all together. It is a piece of lingerie which her client will almost certainly never have encountered in the flesh, so to speak. And it is a bit of lingerie with a rich fashion and social history.

Vavoom!

When you put on a real corset and lace it in, your body dramatically changes shape. Your waist contracts, your boobs head skyward. A corset is the ultimate cleavage enhancer. But don’t kid yourself, there is a lot of complex engineering involved under all those lace and satin panels.

Corsets come in a wide variety of styles, each of which produces a different effect. They range from little, unlined, waist cinching ribbon corsets; to five pound Edwardians which take real training to wear and, ideally, a ladies maid to put on.

The most fundamental style consideration is over- or under- bust; which is, as the name suggests, an indication as to whether the corset goes over your breasts or comes to a discreet end on your torso beneath (under) your breasts.

For the beginner, the little waist cinching under-bust corset is often a great first step. A corset is constructed in two halves joined at the front by what is called a busk, and, usually, laced in back. In traditional corset, the busk has little metal posts, rather like buttons which fit into metal loops. These bits of metal are firmly fixed to pieces of steel which are then sewn into the corset fabric. Needless to say, these do not inadvertently come undone.

Every few inches there is a steel, plastic or, in antique corsets, whale bone piece which is sewn into the corset. To the rear there are wider bones which have grommets driven through them for the lacing.

On the outside, corsets have all manner of lovely lacy designs. The outside can be made of virtually any fabric and even soft leather is sometimes used. The work in a real corset is done by panels of heavier, usually cotton, fabric hidden from view by the facing fabric and the lining of the corset. A good corset, even a small under-bust one, weighs a bit.

While there are plenty of girls who like to “tightlace” – restrict their waist size by many inches – sensible girls can have all the fun of corseting with a 2 to 4 inch waist reduction. This means that when you buy a corset, you should look for one with a waist 4 inches smaller than your natural waist.

The obvious effect of this fashion engineering is to, visually and actually, reduce a girl’s waist. Dior’s iconic “New Look” in the aftermath of World War II, was all about full skirts and tiny waists. The hourglass figure was the shape du jour. And those tiny waists were produced by beautifully, hand-made couture corsets. It is astonishing the change in a girl’s silhouette that even a two inch reduction in waist size produces.

A waist-cinching corset should rest on a girl’s hips, and come to just below her rib cage. Lacing it up creates a significant difference between her hip measurement and her waist. Which corsetieres refer to as “hip spring”.

(A brief excursion into evolutionary biology: it turns out that scientists have discovered that the ratio between a girl’s hips and her waist is catnip for men. The bigger the difference the more reproductively “fit” a girl appears to be. Thus, a girl with 34 inch hips and a 30 inch waist is, apparently, less attractive than a girl with 38 inch hips and a 26 inch waist. Which, somehow, sort of, explains the attraction of Kim Kardashian.)

Creating the Illusion

Of course, the best corsets are custom made and we’ll discuss that below. If you really want to experience corseting for yourself and see what effect a corset may have on your escorting business without breaking the bank (Edwardian and Victorian corsets fetch sky high sums on Ebay), a great place to start is an unlined ribbon corset. As the name implies, a ribbon corset is made of broad, inch and three quarters (on mine), strips of fabric attached to busk, bones and back. Good ones have steel busks and solidly seated grommets in the back.  At the busk, they are six to eight inches high, and are roughly five inches at the side. Well made, with silk ribbon lacing, they are impossibly pretty.

While corsets can be worn next to the skin, it was not the way in the day, nor is it recommended as they tend to chafe slightly and, frankly, get a bit worn with use. (A corset is not the easiest thing in the world to wash.) Ideally, you will have a lacy long camisole or chemise to wear under your corset. Corsets also work brilliantly over body stockings.

Putting a corset on by yourself – maid’s day off – is actually quite easy. You loosen the laces and then put it on like you would a shirt. Make sure that you have the middle of the laces running down the middle of your back, as it is actually quite easy to put the corset on to one side. Lift the corset so that it is resting on your hips and then begin to do up the busk. I like to start at the top but other girls will begin at the bottom. At this stage the corset is quite loose and you should have no trouble doing up the busk. Now the fun begins.

Corsets are properly laced in from the middle. If the laces (or ribbons) have been properly placed, there will be two natural loops in the middle of the corset, halfway from the top. For a ribbon corset lacing is fairly easy, as there are only ten grommets a side, and thus, only two lace crosses to adjust. Got that? Don’t worry; you will.

Now, here is the thing most modern women don’t know and it is the secret to a successful corset: the term straight-laced is actually how a corset should be done. The two back pieces which are attached by the laces should be the same distance apart at their tops and bottoms because that is what produces the corset’s wonderful effects.

When you first start pulling on the laces, its two halves will likely be five or even six inches apart. Your job is to bring them within three and then one inch of each other. This is not a job which can be rushed–especially if you are on your own. Essentially, you pull the laces taut with your dominant hand, and take up the slack with your other hand which is holding the lacing loops.

Don’t try to lace all the way down in one go. And don’t try to get a full four-inch reduction the first time you take your corset out of the box. You’ll be uncomfortable, and the corset will not have a chance to mold itself to your shape. And, you will get discouraged and never wear it again. Instead, out of the box, wear your corset, loosely-laced, for several hours per day, for a week or so. You’ll find that you will become more comfortable with it on, and that the spring steel or plastic boning will begin to bend to your curves whilst containing them. Now, the corset is truly yours.

Once you’ve broken in your little waist cincher and learned the basic tricks of lacing it, you can start reducing your waist more seriously. Here again, the trick is to give yourself time. If you have a date in the evening, put your corset on, laced down no more than two inches, in the later afternoon. You take the last two inches in ten minutes before you put on your dress and, if you have been working up to it, you will barely notice the change. However, I assure you, your date will.

The Real Deal

Once you have enjoyed the effect of a waist-cinching corset, it is time to think about trying the pleasures of a full corset. There are a vast variety of beautiful styles to choose from, but a pleasing “over-bust” Victorian gives you all of the benefits, with very little movement restriction. Edwardian styles are lovely but, because they encase your hips, they are a bit less practical.

The term “over bust” can mean that the corset fully covers your breasts and has cups very similar to a bra, or it can mean a corset cut so that your nipples are partially or fully exposed. The critical thing is that regardless of coverage, a corset supports your breasts and give you the option of lifting your breasts from below.

Modern girls are familiar with shelf bras, or balconette or demi-bras, all of which can be lovely, but the fact is that they all depend on effectively suspending your breasts. The structure of an over-bust corset actually pushes up.

The effect is extraordinary. If you choose a style which covers your breasts the effect is to create astonishing cleavage for even the smallest breasts. But you can also leave your nipples deliciously exposed but have your breasts supported. Once you are converted to corsets, you will, of course, want several in both styles.

As you might imagine, the combination of a nipped waist and beautifully supported breasts, is to create a figure which most girls only dream of. Turn heads you will! A corseted escort’s clients are in for an absolute treat.

Dressed for Success

The shaping capacity of a good corset, laced correctly, is marvelous. It is also more than a little challenging from a fashion perspective. Outfits which used to fit snuggly now drape rather than contour. You want to maximize the effect of your corseting. Fortunately this is easy to do.

With a waspie corset, a pair of high-waisted trousers or a pretty skirt with an elastic waistband combined with a wide belt will emphasize your new curves without being too obvious.

A full corset can work wonders under something as demure as a fine wool dress. Combine your corset with pretty garter straps and long black stockings and you’re well on your way to bombshell.

A well-made corset need not be terribly expensive. Avoid the “sex shop” versions which are made cheaply and sold for far too much money. Online shopping is the way to go for both your little ribbon waist cincher, and a lovely over-bust piece.

However, once you have these essentials, you’ll know whether you will want to go the next step: a custom-made corset. If you live in a reasonably large city you may be able to find a corset maker nearby. Definitely worth it to get a perfect fit. But another alternative which can produce wonderful, custom made, custom fitted corsets is etsy.com. Just look up “corset” and be prepared to be astonished.

There has been a huge revival in the fine art of the corsetiere, as many seamstresses have realized that corsets offer them a showcase for their skills. Corsets of every style, with every sort of facing fabric and degree of stiffness are on Etsy at reasonable prices. Custom design is never cheap, but it is usually worth it.

Of course, once you start wearing corsets on some of your escorting dates, you will find more than a few of your clients who are deeply intrigued. These gentlemen can certainly be encouraged to purchase the corsets they would like to see you in. This is a win-win exchange for a very discriminating gentleman.

Out of the Ordinary

Escorting is a very competitive business, and so adding a bit of spice by way of a few corsets in your lingerie chest, is a great way to become the IT girl everyone wants.

Playing up the idea that you are corseting is a clever theme for your advertising and your web presence. The memorable moment when you try on your first corset is an opportunity to take some great pictures, shoot a video, or combine one or both into a blog post for your web site. Corseting is so unusual these days, and in this business, that, well-done, is sure to attract web attention.

Of course, there are lots of opportunities to showcase your newly corseted assets as you break your corset in. Plus, the day you take out the “skate laces” and replace them with pretty ribbon – which is actually much easier to tighten – is a perfect excuse for a photo session. Remembering always that you are the star of your website and your ads, so there is nothing wrong with vamping for the camera, with your new, sveltely corseted self.

Escorts often find it difficult to come up with material to photograph and write about for their marketing. A little waist cinching corset followed by a more serious Victorian, will give you endless topics and a reason for you viewers to come back regularly. If you have a close friend to help, you can do shoots where she laces you in a little more than you are used to.

Add to that, the erotic mix of stockings and vintage skirts and dresses for your new shape, and you’ll have stellar marketing and photo op material for a long, long time.

Apart from the marketing potential, simply wearing a corset on your dates offers clients a degree of novelty and titillation regular lingerie just can’t match. With an over-bust corset you can undress to some extent yet be covered up in a way most of your clients will never have seen before.

A gentleman caller can be asked to loosen your lacing as a preliminary to more intimate acts. A much, much more erotic version of unzipping a girl’s dress. Alternatively, as a preliminary to intimacy, you can ask your client to actually tighten your laces. This may seem a bit counter intuitive, but there is no actual need to remove a corset for most encounters, and, on the plus side, a corset’s firmness gives a gentleman something to hold on to.

A final note: women speak of how corsets improve their posture. Even a little ribbon waspie will make you stand taller and move with greater elegance. Furthermore, one very common effect of corseting is a huge boost to the wearer’s self-confidence. A gorgeous, well-made, firmly structured corset not only shrinks your waist, it can give you the sense of being in complete control of your body. It is a difficult sensation to describe–you just have to experience it yourself– but, I suspect, the day you lace your first corset down you will understand precisely how ruling class women at the turn of the last century assumed their air of command. Think Lady Mary, coyly arching her eyebrows.

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Questions for Miss Jay: An Escort’s Guide to Style, Dates and Fun
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A Man in My Position
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Obedient Husband: Female Led Marriage: Female Led Marriage for Loving Couples
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A Ladies Guide to Prostate Milking
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Corner Time
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