A J. S. Cooper Box Set: Three Standalone Romances
Author: Cooper, J. S.
Date: 2019-08-21

A J. S. Cooper Box Set

J. S. Cooper

Contents

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Prologue

1. Hudson

2. Riley

3. Hudson

4. Riley

Part I

1. Hudson

2. Riley

3. Hudson

Four Years Ago

5. Riley

Four Years Ago

6. Hudson

7. Riley

8. Hudson

9. Riley

10. Hudson

11. Riley

12. Hudson

13. Riley

14. Hudson

FILTHY LITTLE LIES

II. Filthy Little Lies

Prologue

Chapter 4

The Offer

Chapter 15

The Best Spanking of My Life

Chapter 16

The Day Dominic Found Out My Name

Chapter 17

The First Time I Sexted

Chapter 18

The Awkward Moment I Met the Wife

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

The Night I Seduced Brad

Chapter 21

The Master Plan For Jessie’s Undoing

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

The night that changed everything

Chapter 24

The Day Brad Made Me A Promise

Chapter 25

The Night I will Never Forget

Chapter 26

Why I don’t believe in love

The first time I saw her

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

The Moment That Changed Everything

Chapter 30

PLAYING WITH FIRE

Prologue

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Chapter 48

Chapter 49

Chapter 50

Mailing List

A

Standalone Box Set

Featuring: Everlasting Sin, Filthy Little Lies, & Playing with Fire

J. S. Cooper

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This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is entirely coincidental. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

Copyright © 2019 by J. S. Cooper

EVERLASTING SIN

J. S. Cooper

Everlasting Sin is a Standalone book.

Prologue

Riley

Fifteen Years Ago

Six Years Old

When I was in first grade, there was a boy who used to pinch me on the bus, and every day I would go home crying. He was older than I was by at least three years, and he had a snotty nose and dirty hands. I hated him with as much passion as a six-year-old could hate a boy. And one day, in my bravest voice, I told my mom that I no longer wanted to go to school on the bus because of this horrible little boy. The day after I told her, my mom found out the boy’s name from the bus driver and took me to his house so that she could speak to his mom. That was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. I sat there on the couch in the living room, waiting in fear. I was so scared that the boy was going to come in and pinch me again. But he didn’t. Instead, my mom brought him over to me and he apologized with a big dopey grin. A grin that told me that he didn’t think he had really done anything wrong. My mom told me that he was going to look after me on the bus and at school and make sure that no one ever hurt me. He was going to be my very own protector. He called himself Batman, I called him Dopey, and his parents called him Hudson. Hudson Blake. From that day on, he never pinched me on the bus again. But I can’t say that I’ve never cried because of him since.

Chapter 1

Hudson

Ten Years Ago

She sat in the corner of the couch crying, her sobs loud and her face red and splotchy. I walked past her into the kitchen and grabbed a can of Coke, ignoring the tug of my heartstrings as I watched her.

“What’s wrong, Riley?” I sighed as I questioned her. She looked up at me with big brown eyes full of tears and I was taken back to the days when I used to pinch her on the school bus.

“Nothing.” She gulped and looked down at her legs.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” I sat on the couch next to her and awkwardly put my arm around her shoulders. “Maybe I can help.” I had no idea what I’d be able to do to help, but at fourteen, I felt years ahead of eleven-year-old Riley.

“Eden won’t...” She paused and sobbed some more. “Eden won’t let me borrow her nail polish.”

“What?” I frowned, confused.

“Eden won’t—”

“I heard that part.” I stared at her for a few moments before continuing. “I don’t get why you care. Nail polish just looks cheap and gross anyways.”

“No, it doesn’t.” She shook her head and I sighed.

“Get up, Riley. Let’s go and talk to Eden.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her up from the couch, and she held on to my hand as we walked up the stairs to go talk to Eden. Eden was my sister and Riley’s best friend, but many times I felt as if I were closer to Riley than I was to Eden.

“Eden, open up.” I tried opening the door and then banged on it.

“No!” my sister yelled back in a whiny tone.

“Eden, I don’t have time for this!” I shouted, annoyed. I was fourteen and at the age where I felt like I was a man, not a boy. “Open up. Now.”

“Whatever!” she cried out as she slowly opened the door. “What do you want?” She stuck her face out at me and raised her nose up in the air.

“Let Riley play with the nail polish, please.”

She rolled her eyes. “I told her she could already.”

“I wanted the red one, not the pink.” Riley looked at me with wide eyes and I sighed.

“The red one, Eden?”

“No, that’s my favorite.” Eden shook her head. “You can’t make me.”

“Riley’s your best friend,” I huffed. “You should be generous. You know that’s what good little girls do.” I gave her a big smile like my dad always did to try and convince her. “Okay?”

“No,” she said obstinately, as only an eleven-year-old could.

“Eden.”

“That’s my name. Don’t wear it out.” She gave me a superior look.

“You’re so childish.”

“You’re such a brat,” she shot back at me.

“Whatever. Come on, Riley.” I grabbed her hand and walked away from Eden’s door. “See you later, Eden. Riley and I are going to hang out in my room.”

“Kissy kissy time!” Eden called out and made kissing noises, and I frowned at her.

“You’re disgusting.” I shook my head and let go of Riley’s hand. “Come on. We can go and hang out in my room.”

“Okay.” She smiled at me weakly and followed me into my room.

“You can sit on the bed,” I offered generously. I really was magnanimous. I wanted to call Luke and tell him to come over so that we could play my new wrestling video game, but I knew that would be no fun for Riley to watch. “I’m going to play video games.”

“Okay.” She nodded and smiled at me. She sat on my bed with her legs crossed, and I stared at her for a few seconds before speaking again.

“You can play too…if you want.” I held back a sigh, not wanting her to know that I didn’t really want to play with her. Girls sucked at video games, especially her and Eden. Whenever they came to my room to play, they always giggled and fell on the ground. It was so annoying having to let them play when my parents were home that I was surprised I had asked her to play now of my own volition.

“I can watch.”

Yes! “Okay.”

“Are you going to play the car racing game?” she asked eagerly, and I groaned. I should have known that she didn’t really want to watch.

“No, I’m going to play my WCW game. Practice my wrestling.” I flexed my arms to show her my muscles, but she didn’t look too impressed. Typical kid. She had no clue that I’d been lifting fifty-pound weights for the last couple of months.

“Wrestling is boring,” she spoke innocently, and I tried not to let it annoy me.

Wrestling was my life. I wanted to be in the WWE when I grew older. I was going to be called ‘The Real Batman’ and I’d wear a black cape and mask and be totally awesome.

“You’re too young to understand.”

“I’m not too young to know it’s boring.” She grinned at me and I laughed.

“Very funny, Riley. Don’t make me pinch you.”

“I’ll tell my mom.” She gave me a look, and this time I didn’t hold back my groan.

“Please don’t. I don’t need her coming over here again, begging my parents to make me be nice to you.”

She giggled. “She didn’t beg.”

“She did.”

“Well, it worked.” She got off of the bed and came and gave me a hug. “Now you’re my private bodyguard.”

“You know it.” I gave her an awkward hug back. “I’m your personal Batman.”

“Uh huh.” She smiled up at me.

I was about to say something else when Eden knocked on the door.

“What are you guys doing?” She sauntered in without waiting for an answer to her knock.

“What do you think, dork?” I rolled my eyes.

“K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Eden laughed and I shuddered.

“That’s disgusting, Eden. What do you want?”

“Want to come and do nails, Riley?” She walked over to her friend. “You can use the red.”

“Are you sure?” A grin spread across Riley’s face. “I thought it was your favorite.”

“I’m sure. It’s my favorite, but you’re my best friend.” Eden linked her arm through Riley’s and they walked back out of my bedroom door.

I shook my head as I watched them go and then picked up my phone to call Luke.

“Wassup, dawg,” Luke drawled into the phone, trying to imitate his favorite rappers.

“What up?” I sat on the bed and looked at the door. “You wanna come over and play video games?”

“Dude, my mom said I gotta finish my homework before I go anywhere.”

“You nearly done?”

“Do you think I’m nearly done? I’ve got homework from last week that I still gotta do.” He groaned. “This school shit sucks.”

“I know, I know.” I sighed. Luke had been my best friend for years and I loved him, but sometimes I wished that he was a little bit more on the ball. “You think you can finish in the next hour? I’m sure you can stay over for dinner.”

“What’s your mom cooking?” he asked eagerly. Luke loved coming over for dinner, as my mom was a great cook and his mom was the queen of takeout. As much as we both loved takeout, we didn’t want to eat it every night.

“Meatloaf, I think.”

“With mashed potatoes?” His voice was excited and I laughed. I knew that Luke would do whatever it took to get over to my house that evening now that he knew my mom was making her famous mashed potatoes.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“I’ll be there in an hour.” He hung up the phone and I grinned before running down the stairs.

“Mom!” I shouted as I ran. “Mom, what are you cooking for dinner?”

“Mom went out to grab a pizza.” Eden poked her head out of her door and made a face at me.

“Not again,” I groaned.

Now that my dad had started working late, Mom was making fewer meals at home. I was fed up with pizza. She didn’t even get the good kind. I felt like I was starting to look like Hungry Howie every time I glanced in a mirror.

“I like pizza.” Eden stuck her tongue out, and I ran into the room and grabbed her. “Put me down!” she squealed. “Hudson!”

“You’re a brat.” I dropped her on the bed and she giggled.

“Whatever. At least I’m getting pizza.”

“I wish mom would make meatloaf.” I shook my head, frustrated.

“I’ll make it if you want.” Riley smiled up at me, and I couldn’t stop from smiling back at her. She was a brat as well, but definitely not as bad as my sister.

“Thanks, Riley. Maybe next time.” I tousled the top of her hair.

“Yeah.” She nodded at me with eager eyes as I walked through the door and back to my room. “Just let me know, Hudson.”

Chapter 2

Riley

Six Years Ago

Hudson Blake reminded me of a hawk: a majestic, maddening, and daring hawk. When he looked at me, I felt like I was his prey: weak, innocent, and totally willing. I think it was the way he talked to me that had made me fall in love with him. He was always so caring and sensitive to my feelings. It was like he knew that I was a gentle creature to be coddled delicately. He never teased me mercilessly like he did Eden.

The first time I realized that Hudson might be as attracted to me as I was to him was when I was fifteen. I was staying over for a sleepover, and I wandered into his room to escape the gossiping that was going on among the girls.

He looked up at me and smiled. "Hey."

"What are you doing?" I walked up to his desk and looked at his blank computer screen. "You weren't looking at porn, were you?"

"No," he laughed. "Of course not."

"What do you mean, of course not? You're eighteen. Eighteen-year-old boys look at a lot of porn."

"You seem very sure of that." He raised an eyebrow at me and smirked. "Been checking it out yourself, have you?"

"No, of course not." I blushed and played with my hair.

"What are you girls up to then?" He frowned and stared at my fingers for a few seconds.

"Talking about boys and other girls." I made a face.

"Not enjoying that?" He laughed as I shook my head. "You and Eden are like chalk and cheese. I'm not sure how you've made it as best friends for all of these years."

"What do you mean?" I asked, not quite understanding what he was saying.

"Nothing bad." He stood up and I stared up at him as he towered over me.

Hudson was wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of black shorts, and it was impossible for me to ignore how handsome he looked. His hair was spiked up and his hazel eyes were light with humor. I smiled up at him and then gasped as I noticed a tattoo on his upper arm.

"What's that?" I reached over and lightly touched his upper arm.

"What does it look like, Ms. Straight-A-Student?"

"You got a tattoo?" I asked in a disappointed tone. I wasn’t sure why I was disappointed, but I really felt let down.

“Yeah. Don’t you like it?”

I shrugged. “It’s okay.”

“I guess you’ll never get a tattoo then?”

“No. I don’t think so.”

“I can’t convince you?” He grinned and flopped down on his bed.

“Doubt it.” I stood there, staring down at him, and he laughed.

“Don’t look so serious. I’m not going to force you to get one.”

“I didn’t think you were going to force me.”

“Come sit.” He patted the bed and I walked over and joined him. “What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

“I can tell you’re upset.”

“How?” I asked, surprised. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t need to tell me, Riley. I know you like I know the back of my hand.”

“Uh huh.”

“So what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I mumbled and lay back on the bed next to him. “It’s embarrassing.”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed around me.”

“I know.”  I turned to face him, and he was staring at me with his concerned hazel eyes. I stared into his eyes and tried not to focus too much on how handsome his face was.

“Tell me, Riley.”

“I just feel stupid because I’ve never kissed a boy before.”

His brow furrowed. “Why does that make you feel stupid? There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I’m the only girl who hasn’t been kissed.” I blushed.

“So that just makes you even more special.”

“Whatever.” I shook my head and groaned. “I feel like a loser.”

“You’re not a loser.”

“I just don’t know what to do,” I admitted shyly. “I feel like I don’t know what to do if a boy kisses me.”

“Has a boy tried to kiss you?” He frowned.

“Not really.” I made a face, and he laughed, suddenly carefree again. “I guess guys just don’t like me.”

“Don’t be silly. You’re beautiful.”

I made another face and he pulled me closer to him.

“Don’t make a face at me.”

“I’m not.” I was mere inches away from him now, and I could feel my heart racing.

“Liar.” He grinned and leaned closer to me. “Close your eyes.”

“Why?” I stared into his eyes, feeling completely breathless.

“Because I’m going to teach you how to kiss and I want you to concentrate on the movement of my lips.”

“Oh, uh, okay.” I blinked rapidly, swallowing hard. I didn’t know what to say, and ‘thank you’ sounded too lame.

I closed my eyes and waited. I was unprepared for the warm feeling that filled me as I felt his lips pressed softly against mine. I lay there still and unmoving as he kissed me, and I heard him chuckle as he pulled away from me.

“You can kiss back, Riley,” he laughed.

“Sorry, what?” I opened my eyes slowly, feeling disoriented.

“I said, kiss back. If you just lay there like a fish, it’s not going to be fun.”

“Oh, my bad.”

“Okay, let’s try this again.” He smiled wickedly. “Keep your eyes open this time.”

“Okay,” I mumbled and took a deep breath. I waited for him to lean forward again.

“Stare into my eyes and move towards me. You’re going to instigate the kiss this time.”

“But I don’t know what to do.”

“That’s what I’m teaching you.” He grinned.

“Okay.” I took a deep breath and slowly leaned towards him.

I stopped right before my lips touched his, and I could see the humor in his eyes. I gently pressed my lips against his and waited to see what was going to happen next. Hudson just lay there for a second and I didn’t know what to do, but then he leaned towards me and grabbed my hair, pushing my face into his. I felt his lips crushing down on mine and kissed him back, trying to mimic the movement of his lips. I reached my hands up to his hair and stared into his eyes. Hudson’s lips crushed into mine, and I felt the tip of his tongue touching my lips.

I sprang back then and gasped. “What are you doing?” I questioned him with wide eyes.

“Teaching you how to kiss.”

“But you used your tongue.”

“It’s called a French kiss, Riley.”

“But we’re not in France,” I mumbled, feeling stupid. I knew my face was burning a deep shade of red, and I could see that he was laughing at me from the sparkle in his eyes.

“You can’t tell me you’ve never heard of a French kiss before.” There was shock in his eyes and he laughed slightly.

“You’re a jerk.” I pushed his shoulder hard.

“No.” He grabbed my hand. “I’m your teacher.” He leaned towards me again and brought my face towards his. “Close your eyes and do what you think is right.”

“What I think—”

Hudson’s lips interrupted my speech and I closed my eyes, trying to let my body and not my brain guide me. His lips were soft at first, and I felt myself kissing him back gently, but then his fingers ran through my hair and he pulled my face closer to him. His tongue deftly slipped into my mouth, and I slowly pushed my tongue into his mouth, enjoying the unexpected warm feelings that were coursing through me.

His tongue met mine, and I allowed my tongue to touch his. It tasted and felt funny, and I pulled away a little bit. Hudson pulled my face back towards him, and I allowed his tongue to enter my mouth again. This time, his tongue was rougher as it explored my mouth as if looking for cavities. My eyes popped open as he ran his hands down my side and rolled me into my back.

His eyes looked down at me with an unfamiliar emotion, and I felt his body crushing down onto mine. I gazed up at him and ran my hands down his back, not knowing what to do. I shifted on the bed beneath him and suddenly he froze and jumped off of the bed.

“Okay, great. I think you get the idea.” He walked back to his computer and sat down at his desk without looking at me.

“Oh, okay.” I sat up, feeling confused and stared at his back. “Is everything okay, Hudson?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine.” His voice sounded gruff, and I swallowed hard.

What had happened? Was I such a bad kisser that he was disgusted by me?

“I’m going to leave now.”

“Fine,” he mumbled and clicked the keys on his laptop.

“Thanks,” I whispered, standing at his door.

I gently rubbed my lips, not really believing what had just happened. Had I really just kissed Hudson? My heart was singing with joy, even though my brain was upset and confused.

“No worries,” he mumbled and sighed, but then he turned around and smiled. “There’s nothing to be worried about, Riley. You’re a good kisser.” He stared at me for a few moments and then continued. “If you were older, I’d be teaching you even more.”

“Even more what?” I frowned and stared into his hazel eyes.

“You’ll figure it out one day.” He shook his head and ran his hand through his silky hair. “Now scoot. I’ve got things to do.”

I walked out of his room with a huge smile on my face, even though I’d just been dismissed. He had enjoyed kissing me, I was sure of that. Maybe one day, we’d be kissing for real.

I stopped in the hallway, rested my head against the wall, and closed my eyes. It was now hitting me. I had just kissed Hudson Blake. The boy of my dreams, even though no one else knew that.

Chapter 3

Hudson

Five Years Ago

“Hudson, let’s go to the Sigma Kappa party tonight.” Luke stood at the door to my dorm with wide, eager eyes.

“I have a test tomorrow.” I shook my head.

“Dude, there are going to be lots of hot girls. We might even get laid.” He grinned and walked into the room. “Plus, think of all the times in high school you convinced me to play video games when I had a test the next day.”

“Dude, that was on you. I didn’t make you do anything.” I grinned back at him and he shook his head.

“Come on, Hudson.” He sat on my bed and I pushed him off. “Don’t you want to get some?”

“Not really.” I shook my head and looked down. There was only one girl who set my heart on fire.

“Come on! The girls are hot. You know sorority girls. They love to give it up easy.”

“I don’t want a girl who gives it up easy.”

“Dude, just come for me then. And at least you can tell Eden and Riley that they shouldn’t join sororities when they go to college because you know firsthand how slutty the girls are.”

“I’m not going to tell my sister and her best friend that sorority girls are slutty.” I gave him a look and he laughed.

“Dude, it’s going to be epic. What are you doing? You’re ruining the college experience for us.”

“I’m not,” I lied. I knew I was.

I hadn’t really been to any parties since we’d started college. Sure, I’d been to a few and had a few hookups here and there, but nothing special. I hadn’t met any girls who’d touched me in any sort of way. But I couldn’t tell Luke why. He’d laugh if he knew I had a crush on Riley.

She was supposed to be like my little sister, but I couldn’t stop myself from feeling more for her. I think the day I taught her to kiss was the catalyst of my affections. Her response had been so sweet, yet so primal. I’d been ashamed of myself for feeling something for her. Something that was far from innocent.

“Whatever.” Luke walked to the door in a huff. “Live your life like some monk. See where that gets you.” He stopped at the door and turned towards me before he left. “I thought this was going to be the time of our lives, but frankly, you’re making it really shitty. Some best friend you are.”

There were a million responses I could have come back with. The one on the tip of my tongue was something along the lines of, “Then get some more friends and stop harassing me.” But I knew I couldn’t say that. For all his bravado, Luke was very sensitive and emotional. So I replied in the only way I knew how. “Fine, I’ll be ready at eight, but I’m not staying out late.”

“Don’t worry about it, dude.” He grinned in pure joy at me. “I’m sure I’ll be in some back bedroom by nine, so you can leave then.”

“Uh huh. Are you sure you want to sleep in someone else’s house?”

“Asshole. I won’t be sleeping. I’ll be doing that slow grind.”

I laughed as he started moving his arms and hips and covered my eyes. “Please, that is not an image I want to be seeing right now.”

“I’ll see you later.” He laughed as he left the room, and I jumped up and grabbed my book bag to head to the library.

I knew I still had to study for the test or I was going to fail. I grabbed my books and my laptop and quickly put them in my bag. I was about to leave the room, but instead I went back and pulled up my pillow.

There was a photo of Riley at the beach, and I stared at it for a few seconds before touching my finger to my lips and then to the photo. I put the photo down and covered it gently with my pillow before I walked out of the dorm. I sighed as I walked to the library.

I was starting to feel like a bit of a loser spending my days thinking about Riley. She wasn’t my girlfriend, and for all I knew, she had a boyfriend. There was no way I was going to make a move on her. She was still in high school and lived hours away. And she was my sister’s best friend. And her mom had asked me to look after her. There were way too many reasons for me to not follow my feelings. Because really, I didn’t even understand how I felt.

* * *

There were five girls running around the room doing shots and pulling off various items of clothing when Luke and I made it to the party at nine. We both grabbed a beer as soon as we walked into the house.

“This is why I love sorority parties. Such easy access to alcohol.”

“Sure. That’s why you love them.” I rolled my eyes, chugged my Bud Light, and looked around. I watched a hot redhead pulling off her top and grinned. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

“Hey, bad boy.” A cute girl with long blond hair walked up to me and stroked my chest. “What are you doing here?”

“Excuse me?” I frowned up at her. “What do you mean?’

“Don’t you belong at some bikers’ meeting or something with those tattoos?”

“I’m not a biker.” I frowned again and stepped back. “Sorry.”

“Oh, don’t be sorry. You’re still sexy as hell.” She stepped towards me again, but this time she stumbled and fell against me. “Oops.” She giggled.

“Lara.” Another girl ran over to us and gave me an apologetic look. “Lara, I think it’s time for us to leave.” The girl smiled at her friend and then at me. She had a sweet smile, and I stared back at her.

“I’m not going anywhere. We just got here.”

“Come on, Lara.” The girl tried again. “You’ve had too much to drink.”

“No, I haven’t.” Lara hiccupped and I laughed.

“What time did you guys start drinking?” I asked the new girl.

“Lara’s been drinking since six.” The girl rolled her pretty brown eyes. “I don’t drink.”

“Clara’s a goody two-shoes.” Lara looked at her friend in disgust.

I stared at Clara, who was now blushing, and looked her over. She was a pretty girl, with her shoulder-length curly hair, brown eyes, and caramel skin. She looked up at me then and rolled her eyes, and I gave her a sympathetic smile. It was obvious to me that she had been dragged to the party, just like I had been.

“What can I say? I don’t love parties with lots of drunk girls and guys looking to take advantage of them.” Clara smiled at me, and I nodded in agreement.

“I agree. It’s not really fun, is it?” I looked around the room and watched as Luke flirted with a girl who appeared to be drunker than Lara, who was now walking away to go hit on another guy.

“No, it’s not. I’d much rather be home reading a book.”

“Oh, you like to read?”

“Yes, I love it. You?”

“Not really.” I made a face and she laughed.

“At least you’re honest.”

“That I am.”

“So do you have a girlfriend, Mr. Honest?” She looked up at me with a curious light in her brown eyes. I stared at her pretty face and thought for a moment.

“No.” I shook my head. “I’m single as can be.”

“So am I.” She smiled back at me and looked down. “Oh, I can’t believe I just said that.”

“Why?” I laughed and smiled down at her.

“Because I’m not usually this forward.”

“Then I’m glad you were tonight.”

“Yeah?” She took a step towards me and beamed at me. “Then I’m glad I was as well.”

“Wanna get out of here?”

“Sure. Where do you want to go?”

“I was thinking we could go sit by the beach? Watch the stars and talk?”

“Oh.” She made a face. “The wind isn’t good for my hair.”

“Oh.” I was disappointed in her answer. I knew Riley would have jumped at the opportunity to go and stare at the stars.

“But maybe we can go and get milkshakes at Steak ‘n Shake?” she suggested with a sweet smile, and I nodded.

“Sounds good.”

We walked out of the party together, and while I was happy to be leaving the party and getting to know her better, a part of me felt sad. A part of me felt like I was giving up something I’d never really had.

* * *

“So, tell me all about yourself, Hudson Blake.” She leaned forward and sipped on her chocolate milkshake.

“Want do you want to know?” I ate some fries and sat back. “I’m nineteen, a sophomore. I love video games. I’ve had the same best friend my whole life. I’ve got two tattoos. I like wrestling and boxing. I’m single.” I smiled wide at her and she laughed.

“Wow, that tells me a lot, but not really.” She grinned.

“Why don’t you tell me about you?” I sipped some of my shake and waited for her to talk.

“I’m nineteen as well and a sophomore. I want to be a doctor when I grow older to help find a cure for cancer. I also want to be a doctor because they make a lot of money and I want to buy my mom a house. I’m mixed as well.”

“Mixed?” I laughed. “Mixed up in the head?”

“No,” she giggled and stole some French fries off my plate. “My mom is black and Native American, and my dad is white.”

“Are your parents still married?”

“No.” She grinned. “My dad remarried and I have two small brothers with the blondest hair and bluest eyes. It’s really funny when we all go out. People stare at me and wonder what I’m doing with them.”

“I suppose they think you’re the nanny.”

She burst out laughing. “Exactly! That’s not an issue, is it?”

“What, that you’re a nanny?” I raised an eyebrow at her, and she leaned forward and hit me in the shoulder.

“No, that I’m mixed.”

“Doesn’t matter to me if it doesn’t matter to you that I’m all English.”

“I love English men.”

“Well, I should clarify.” I laughed. “I’m not actually English, but I think my ancestors are.”

“That’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah, I can even put on an accent.” I cleared my throat. “G’day, guv’nor, my name’s Hudson.” I spoke in my best Cockney voice, and Clara burst out laughing.

“That was absolutely awful,” she said between sobs. “Please never do that again.”

“Wot do ya mean, mate? I’m from London, England,” I continued and grinned as I watched Clara laughing. There were tears coming out of her eyes and she was doubled over.

“I think ‘mate’ is Australian,” she giggled, and I reached over and wiped a tear off her cheek. She paused then and stared at me, her face turning a deep red.

“I hope you don’t mind me touching you.”

“No, that was very nice of you.”

“We sound so formal.” I laughed. “If Luke were here, he’d jump up and moon us or something to get the party started.”

“Luke is your friend, right?”

“Yeah, he’s my best friend. He’s the one who dragged me to the party.”

“Yeah, Lara is my best friend and the one who made me go as well.” She sighed. “We should hook them up.”

“I don’t think you want your best friend to date Luke.” I shook my head. “I love him, but he’s not anyone I would recommend as a boyfriend right now.”

“Oh yeah?” She laughed. “Then he’d definitely be perfect for Lara.”

“Oh, Clara. You’re so bad. Who knew?”

“Not me.” She shook her head and laughed. “Do you want to get out of here and do something?”

“Something like what?”

“Maybe we can go and drink.”

“Drink?” I paused, surprised at her words.

“Yeah, maybe we can grab some beers and smoke pot.”

“Oh. I didn’t know you—”

“Oh, I don’t at parties, but otherwise, why not?” She jumped up, grabbed my hand, and pulled me up. “Let’s go.”

“Okay.” I got out of the booth slowly, suddenly unsure how I felt about continuing the night with her.

Her comment had taken me aback. I’d thought we were on the same wavelength about drugs and alcohol, but apparently I’d been wrong. I was thinking about a way to tell her I had to go home when my phone started ringing.

“Hello?” I answered hesitantly, as the number was unknown.

“Hudson, where are you?” Eden’s voice was loud, and I could hear loud music in the background.

“I’m just leaving Steak ‘n Shake. Why? What’s wrong? Is Riley okay?”

“Huh?” Eden sounded confused. “I’m at home. We’re having a party.” She giggled. “Riley’s in the closet right now making out with Steve Anders.”

“What?” I could tell that my voice sounded agitated, but I couldn’t help it.

“Seven Minutes in Heaven.” She giggled again, and I took a deep breath. “That’s what we’re playing. I’m hoping I’ll get to go in with Zack Spinelli. He is so hot.”

“What do you want, Eden?”

“Do you know where Mom and Dad leave the keys to the liquor cabinet? I wanted to make screwdrivers for everyone.”

“Eden, are you joking?” My voice was loud, and I saw Clara give me an anxious look.

“Don’t get all high and mighty on me, Hudson Blake. I know you and Luke drank plenty of whiskey in your time.”

“That was different.”

“Why? Because you’re guys?”

“No.” I sighed. “Because you are girls and you have guys over. Alcohol makes people act funny. You don’t want anyone getting pregnant during those seven minutes in heaven.”

“Hudson, gross!” Eden shouted, and I heard someone whispering something to her.

“Who’s that?”

“Riley says hi,” she continued. “Riley, get on the phone with my stupid brother and tell him to tell you where the key is.”

“Hello.” Riley’s voice was soft and I smiled involuntarily.

“Hey, egghead.” I laughed into the phone and heard her groan.

“What’s up, asshole?” she muttered, and I closed my eyes for a second to picture her face. I knew exactly what face she’d be making right now.

“I’m not telling you how to get into the liquor cabinet,” I continued and then realized that Clara was just standing there, looking at me uncomfortably. “Hey, let me call you guys back in a few minutes, okay?”

“No need,” Riley giggled, and I frowned. “Just a second, Hudson,” she said into the phone, and then I heard her laughing hysterically. “Stop it, Steve! You’re going to make me drop the phone!”

I frowned even more as I heard her laughing, and I felt a dark emotion run through me. I gripped the phone tightly as I listened to Riley flirting.

“Riley, I have to go,” I spoke into the phone with a stern voice.

“Okay. Bye.” She hung up then, and I stood there, feeling like someone had just slammed a door hard in my face.

“Everything okay?” Clara looked at me with a concerned face.

“Yeah.” I nodded slowly and gave her a weak smile. “Just my sister and her silly friends.” I shrugged. “Nothing important. Let’s go and get that drink, yeah?”

“Sounds good to me.” She grabbed my hand as we walked out and smiled up at me. “I’m so glad I met you, Hudson.”

“Me too.” I tried to mean the words as I said them, but all I could think about was Riley.

What was she doing at the party? What was she going to end up doing? What if she slept with that guy Steve? I felt my blood boiling and tried to ignore the feeling of emptiness that was slowly filling me up.

“Hold on a sec, Clara.” I pulled my phone out and called my parents, leaving a voicemail. “Mom, you and Dad need to get home as soon as you can. Eden is having a party and I’m pretty sure things are getting out of control. I suggest you go home as soon as you can before something bad happens.” I hung up and put the phone in my pocket, feeling a little better.

I knew my parents well. As soon as they got that message, they would be racing home. The party would be broken up and all the boys would be sent home. All that would be left was a girls’ sleepover. Steve—whoever he was—would be gone and Riley would be snuggled up under my roof, safe and sound. I tried not to examine my feelings too much. I was trying to protect my sister and her best friend. That was what big brothers were supposed to do.

Chapter 4

Riley

Four Years Ago

Every summer, Eden and I would go to her parents’ beach house in Englewood, Florida, for two weeks. I would accompany her parents and Hudson, and sometimes Luke, Hudson’s best friend, would come as well. As we got older, I always worried that Hudson would stop coming, but he never did. Those summers were magical. We would swim and boat, sleep under the stars, and grill out almost every night. Eden’s parents let us do our own thing most of the time, so during those summers, we really felt like adults.

The summer I was eighteen, right before my senior year in high school, Hudson brought someone else with him. Her name was Clara, and he proudly introduced her as his girlfriend.

"This is Clara," he spoke to Eden, who stared at the beautiful brunette with wide, eager eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Clara. I'm Hudson's sister, Eden, and this is my best friend and almost-sister, Riley."

I smiled weakly at the girl who stood in front of me holding Hudson's hand.

"Hi." Her voice was as sweet as she looked, and I tried to dismiss my thoughts of jealousy.

"Riley." Hudson's voice was surprised as he looked me over. "You've grown." His eyes traveled the expanse of my body and back up to my eyes. There was an odd expression on his face, and he frowned. "I haven't seen you in a while."

Eden rolled her eyes. "Now that you're a college man, you don't have time for your two sisters."

"Riley's not my sister." His voice was harsh, and my face reddened. "I'm going to go and show Clara around now. I'll see you guys later." And with that, he turned around quickly and walked out of the room, Clara scurrying behind him.

"He's such a pain." Eden rolled her eyes at the door. "I can't believe he got a girl as beautiful as her though!"

"Why not?" I looked at her in surprise. "He's hot."

"Eww! No he's not." She pretended to puke. "He's annoying and gross. Don't you agree?" She gave me a pointed look and I nodded.

What was the point of telling her that I harbored feelings for her brother? It was just a teenage crush, and he wasn't interested. He'd never be interested in me. Especially not now that he had a beautiful girlfriend.

"He's a boy. All boys are gross," I replied as if that explained it all. I tried to ignore the pangs of jealousy and pain that twirled in my stomach. "Let's go swim." I ran into our shared room and looked for my swimming suit so that she wouldn’t ask me any more questions.

* * *

The day that changed my life started off like every other day. I woke up and went to the kitchen to get some cereal while Eden lay in bed, still snoring. I was pouring out my Frosted Flakes when Hudson walked in, bare-chested.

"Morning, Squirt." He wrinkled my hair.

"Morning, Gramps." I made a face at him and he laughed.

"What are you eating?"

"Cereal."

"Boring." It was his turn to make a face. "Want to go and get pancakes?"

"You and me?" My heart started beating fast as I stared at him with hopeful eyes.

"Yeah. I assume Eden is still in bed?"

"Of course."

"We'll call her on the way back. See if she wants anything." He grinned. "Now go and get dressed."

“What about Clara?”

He frowned. “She’s suffering from a hangover.”

“Oh.” I bit my lip and then continued. “Is she in your room?”

“No.” He shook his head. “She’s in her room.”

“Oh, you guys aren’t sleeping together?”

“Not on this trip.” He laughed. “Mom and Dad aren’t that cool.”

“Oh, okay.” Did that mean that he and Clara had slept together before or not? I knew it was none of my business, but I really wanted to know.

“Why?” He gave me a thoughtful look, and I stared at his lips, remembering the night he had taught me to kiss.

“I was just curious.” I shrugged and turned away. “Let me go and get my clothes on.”

I ran out of the room and made my way to the bathroom so that I could brush my teeth and wash my face. After that, I ran to the bedroom I was sharing with Eden and looked through my clothes for something cute but unassuming to wear. I decided on a black tank top and a pair of white shorts, and I was just brushing my hair when Hudson poked his head into the room.

“You’re not still getting ready, are you, Riley?”

“Yes. I had to put my clothes on.”

“Come on,” he groaned as I pulled out my lip gloss. “You don’t need that.”

“I’m coming.” I rolled my eyes at him and reached for my blusher.

“Riley,” he groaned again, and I glared at him.

“Be quiet,” Eden mumbled as she rolled over in her bed.

“Are you up, Eden?” I whispered, with my heart in my mouth.

“No,” she grumbled and rolled over again.

I grinned at Hudson and hurried out of the room. I was glad that Eden was staying in bed. I hadn’t spent time alone with Hudson in years, and I was looking forward to it.

“Are you finally ready?” He rolled his eyes at me and I shoved him.

“You’re an ass.” I laughed as we walked towards the front door.

“Watch who you’re talking to.” He grabbed me around the waist and pushed me against the wall. “I’m dangerous, you know.”

“Uh huh.” I giggled. “You’re the most dangerous twenty-year-old in the world.”

“And you think you’re the smartest eighteen-year-old.”

“Well, you know. I’m a eighteen-year-old rebel.”

“Well, rebel, want to go for a swim before breakfast?”

“At the beach?”

“Yeah.” He nodded and stared into my eyes. “Or are you worried about your hair?”

“What’s there to worry about?” I laughed. “It’s going to look like a frizzy mess in a few minutes anyways.”

“Oh, Riley.” He laughed, and then we both paused as we heard a sound.

“Hudson? Hudson, are you awake?” Clara called out, and I felt a surge of disappointment wash through my stomach. That was it then. Clara was now up.

“Shh.” Hudson placed a finger against my lips. “Let’s go.” He let me go and we walked quietly to the door, exiting quickly. We ran to his car in giggles, and I jumped in, feeling high on life.

“Why didn’t you answer her?” I asked him as he started the ignition.

“I wanted to spend a morning with my favorite girl uninterrupted,” he answered with a quick grin, and I sat back, feeling happier than I had in a long time.

“Then what are we waiting for?” I reached forward and turned on the radio. The Beach Boys’ high voices came vibrating out of the speakers, and I sang along to the music.

“So tell me. How are college applications going?” Hudson gave me a quick look before pulling onto the main road.

“Eh, still trying to decide where I want to go.” I shrugged and looked out the window. “And what I want to study.”

“What are you thinking?”

“English or journalism.”

“What are you going to do with them?”

“Maybe become an English teacher or a journalist.” I laughed and turned to him. “What about you? You graduate soon. What are you going to do?”

“I have no clue,” he sighed. “Mom and Dad keep telling me to go to law school, but I have no interest in being an attorney.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a boring job.”

“Maybe I’ll just travel the world and then decide.”

“Travel the world?” I looked away, not wanting him to see how disappointed that made me. I didn’t want him to travel the world.

“Yeah. It’s something Clara and I have been thinking about.” He frowned and then accelerated.

“Oh, Clara is going as well?” My disappointment became jealousy, and I looked out the window, nibbling on my lower lip.

“She’s thinking of taking a year off before med school, but she’s not sure.” He shrugged.

“So you guys are serious?”

“I can’t really answer that question. We don’t see each other that much, what with all her studying and her part-time job.”

“She has a job?”

He nodded. “She helps to support her mom.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, she’s a good girl.”

I looked over at him as he pulled off of the highway. “You really love her, huh?”

“I don’t know.” He gave me a quick look. “What’s love, really?”

“Does she make your heart race when you look at her? Does your stomach do flip-flops? Can you breathe when she’s not around?”

“What are these questions, Riley? Have you been reading too many romance novels again?”

“I don’t read romance novels,” I lied. They were my dirty little secret. I devoured about two romance novels a week, and all I could think about when I read them was me and Hudson riding off into the sunset.

“Well, then you need to stop watching chick flicks. Sometimes being with someone isn’t about all that sappy stuff,” he snapped. “Sometimes you’re with someone because the alternative is not acceptable.”

I stared at him with wide eyes. “You really don’t want to be alone, do you?”

“What are you talking about?” he sighed.

“You just said if you weren’t with Clara you’d be alone and that wouldn’t be acceptable.”

He shook his head in frustration. “I said no such thing.”

“That’s what I thought you meant.”

“Well, you thought wrong.” He pulled into the parking lot of a diner and stared at me. “You’re eighteen, Riley. You have the rest of your life to worry about love and all that nonsense. Don’t get caught up in it now.”

“I’m not caught up in anything.” My face went red as I got out of the car. “Asshole,” I whispered under my breath.

“I heard that.” He laughed and grabbed me from behind. I shrieked as he had caught me unaware, and he started tickling me.

“Hudson!” I squealed as his fingers worked their way under my arms. “Stop it!” I tried to escape his hold, but he pulled me closer towards him.

“What’s the magic word, Riley?”

“Please!” I pouted slowly as I stared up into his eyes.

“No.” He grinned down at me, his hazel eyes mocking me as his lips moved dangerously close.

“Open sesame.”

“What?” He laughed and tightened his grip on me.

“Hudson, let go of me.” I tried to push him away, but all I could feel was his solid muscle underneath my fingertips.

“Not until you say the magic word.”

“I don’t know what the magic word is.” I shook my head and he laughed.

“I’m not letting you go until you get it right.”

“But I’m hungry,” I groaned and batted my eyelashes up at him.

“I suggest you start guessing or you may starve.”

“Oh yeah?” I whispered as a thought entered my mind.

“Yeah.”

“We’ll see about that.” I giggled, and then took a deep breath.

My brain was screaming at me for my stupid idea. Don’t do it, Riley! Don’t do it! But I couldn’t stop myself. I stood on tiptoes, leaning slightly forward, and kissed Hudson. I could see the shock in his eyes as our lips made contact. His lips tasted sweeter than I remembered, and I gasped as his tongue entered my mouth slowly.

“Hudson.” My eyes widened as I felt his hands running down my back.

“You wanna sin, Riley? Then you gotta do it right.” He laughed against my lips and then pulled me into his arms as he kissed me harder.

I closed my eyes then and blocked out every other thought and feeling other than the touch of his lips against mine.

Part 1

Chapter 1

Hudson

Present Day

“A million dollars, dude. You can dirty up your pretty face for a million dollars.” Luke punched me in the shoulders as he continued his fast talking. “And I’ll be your manager.”

“I don’t think so.” I shook my head and laughed.

Luke was my best friend, but I would be a fool to listen to anything he said. He always had a new scheme to make money, and I had learned the hard way when we were teens that what he said didn’t ever come true.

“Come on. What do you have to lose?”

“Every fight.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m not a fighter, Luke.”

“You’re not a lover either.” He grinned at me with his million-watt smile.

“I’m not a girl.” I laughed. “Batting your baby blues at me isn’t going to get me to agree.”

“You do this. I’ll get you as much ass as you want.”

“I can get my own ass.” I stood up and stretched. “Anyways, I gotta go.”

“C’mon, Hudson,” Luke pouted and threw his beer can into the trash as if he were Kobe Bryant going for the winning shot in the last game of the NBA finals. “We need this.”

“I don’t need this.” I shook my head. “And you just need to get a job.”

“Don’t nag. You’re not my mother.”

“Thank God.”

“The economy’s shit. You know that.” He shrugged. “When it gets better, I’ll get a job.”

“And until then, you’ll live off your momma?”

“I don’t wanna live off my momma. I want you to enter this damn fight and win a million dollars. Dude, do you know what we can do with a million dollars?”

“Nope.” I shook my head again and laughed at him. “Please stop trying to seduce me with your eyes. Save it for the girls.”

“I’m practicing on you until Riley gets home,” he joked, and I froze for a second.

“What did I tell you about, Riley?” I kept my voice calm, but my insides were storming up at the sound of her name. “Don’t even joke about Riley. Or Eden,” I added for good measure.

“I won’t go after your sister, dude.” Luke laughed. “Now her best friend? Yummy.” He licked his lips. “I don’t know if I can back away from her.”

“Not funny.” I glared at him, heat rising in me. I clenched my fists and took a step back.

“I’m just joking. Damn, Hudson. I know she’s like your sister as well.” Luke shook his head and then stared at my fists. “You were not just about to hit me, were you?”

“Get a life.”

“I’ll get a life if you sign up for one fight.” He collapsed on the couch. “It’s not just about me. You could also give some money to Clara’s mom. I heard she still hasn’t found a job.”

I flinched as he said Clara’s name. “The economy’s rough. She’ll find a job.”

“She’s so depressed.” He shrugged and looked away from me. “I don’t know that she’ll ever be able to work again. I heard my mom say that she thought Clara’s mom may lose her house.”

“What?” I frowned and felt a nerve jumping in my neck. “I thought she had insurance money.”

“It’s gone.” His voice sounded normal, but the words seemed to reverberate in my mind. Well, really only one word. Gone. Gone. Gone. It was like the clanging of a gong against my temple.

“I’ll see if I can give her some money.” I shook my head, trying to shake the inevitable headache I knew was coming.

Luke made a face. “For the rest of her life?”

“I don’t know.” I sighed and looked away from him again. “I gotta go.”

“Think about the fight. It could solve a lot of problems.” Luke made one last passionate plea. “And giving Clara’s mom a bunch of money may make you feel better.”

“I guess.” I shrugged, but a light in my head went off at his words.

“You can even help Eden with her tuition.”

“Yeah.”

“When are they coming home though? I seriously haven’t seen Eden or Riley in ages.”

“Eden was home a few weekends ago.” I opened the front door. “And Riley’s not my family so I have no clue what she is doing.”

“Is she dating anyone?” he asked curiously, and my heart stopped for a second.

“Who knows?” I looked at the wall, trying to ignore the tightening of my chest. “I don’t have her call me with updates.”

“She knows better than that. They both do. Who needs a father with a shotgun when you’ve got a brother that can fight them off with his hands?”

“She’s not my sister,” I muttered. “And I don’t beat guys off of anyone.”

“What about if it’s for a million dollars?”

“Luke.” I stared at his goofy smile for a second and then shook my head. “I swear, if we weren’t friends I would smack you.”

“Lucky for me, we’ve been friends since we were kids.” He laughed. “I’m too pretty to be bruised.”

“But I guess I’m ugly enough to stand a few scrapes and cuts?”

“You’re handsome enough to look even hotter with a few scars.” Luke shrugged. “It’ll just make more women want you.”

“I don’t want more women to like me.”

“You have to get over Clara at some point, Hudson.” Luke’s voice was suddenly serious, and once again I froze at his words. “I know it hurts, but—”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I quickly walked over to the door. “I’m out. I’ll see you later to shoot some hoops?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you at the court. I still...”

I didn’t hear the rest of Luke’s words as I immediately closed the door and walked to my car.

* * *

I decided to go swimming as soon as I got home. I was lucky enough to live in an apartment complex that had an Olympic-size pool. I wasn’t really sure how Rosemead Apartments had gotten the money to put in any sort of pool, but I wasn’t complaining. I walked through the parking lot filled with old and rusting cars and tried to ignore the crowd of guys huddled at the end of the parking lot, talking loudly and passing something around in a small bag. I could guess at what was in the bag, but I didn’t really want to know. I didn’t want anything to do with the other guys who lived in the Rosemead complex. I didn’t need any trouble.

I noticed a young blond guy with a marine buzz cut staring at me, and I started jogging to get away from them. I wished moving out were as easy. I hated living here at Rosemead; I absolutely hated it, but I felt like I needed to. Not because I couldn’t afford to live anywhere else. But this was for Clara. This was to make her happy.

Jamilah waved at me excitedly. “Hey, Hudson.”

“Hi, Jamilah.” I grinned at the little girl who was about to dive into the pool. “How is school going?”

“School is school.” She made a face. “It’s boring. But I think I’m going to make the swim team.”

“Well of course.” I smiled at her and looked around. “Where is your mom?”

“At work.” Jamilah chewed on her lower lip as she twisted her arms. “She got a new job, but she has to work evenings.”

“Where’s Marcus?”

“Doing his homework.” She shrugged. “I just came to practice swimming for an hour. Don’t tell my mom.”

I looked at her and tried to keep the smile on my face. I didn’t want her to see how upset I was. Jamilah was only ten and her brother was only eight. I felt bad that their mom had to leave them alone while she went to work, but I was angry that Jamilah was here by herself when I knew she was still a beginning swimmer.

“Hey, next time you want to go swimming and your mom isn’t home, come and find me, okay?” I gave her a look. “And if I’m not home, wait until me or your mom is available.”

“Okay.” She nodded. “Do you want to race?”

“Race?” I laughed. “But you know you’ll beat me.”

“I won’t.” She giggled. “I’ll be slow this time.”

“You can’t go slow just for me.” I smiled at her. “You need to go your fastest.”

“I will.” I watched the light fade from her eyes before she spoke again. “Hudson, do you think I have a real shot of making the team?”

“Of course!”

“But what if my mom can’t afford it?” She looked away from me. “There are fees to be a part of the team and she just got this job.”

“Jamilah, you’re ten. Let your mom worry about that.” I ran my hands over the top of her head to comfort her. “You just practice swimming.”

“Yeah, I guess.” She nodded. “Okay, one, two, three, go.” And with that, she did a clean dive into the pool and started doing a front crawl.

I watched her swim for a few seconds and then dove in behind her. The water felt cold and crisp against my skin, and my brain soared to life at the shock of my body submerging into the cold water without a second thought. My arms stretched out and got into their rhythm automatically: one, two, breathe, one, two, breathe.

I saw Jamilah’s legs kicking furiously in front of me as she tried desperately to keep her lead, and I slowed my pace slightly to ensure that I didn’t overtake her. I wanted to give her the confidence she needed to make certain she didn’t give up on her swimming dream. I could tell from the way that she was talking that it wasn’t going to take much to dissuade her.

It saddened me that she wasn’t pursuing her dreams like a normal kid. A kid shouldn’t have to worry about money or being bullied. I sighed inwardly as I reached the other side of the pool and thought to myself, If only there was a way for me to give her mom some money.

“I beat you, I beat you!” She splashed me with the water as she grinned at me. “I can’t believe I beat you.”

“I guess it’s the Olympics up for you next.”

“They’ll play the national anthem for me,” she beamed. “That would be awesome.”

“Yes, it would be.” I nodded in agreement.

“I wish it would really happen.” The smile left her face and she pushed herself out of the pool.

“It could happen if you practice a lot.” I jumped out of the pool with her.

“I don’t know.” She looked down. “I have to support my mom.”

Her words made me freeze. The memories that brought back to me were bittersweet, and I could feel my heart racing. Jamilah stood there shivering as water slid down her body and her eyes were full of sadness. She was too young to be taking on the cares of her mother.

I repeated the words I had said to Clara so many times. “It’s not your responsibility to take care of your mom.”

“She doesn’t make much money.” She shrugged. “I want to help her.”

“That’s admirable of you, Jammy.”  I gave her a quick hug. “But your mom is doing fine.”

“I wish she was home more.” She hugged me back and then giggled. “What flavor jam am I?”

“What flavor jam do you want to be?” I whispered, playing the game we’d been playing for the last year.

“Not raspberry jam.” She made a face. “Or mixed fruit. Mixed fruit jam is yucky.”

“What about strawberry?” I smiled down at her. “You like strawberry jam, don’t you?”

“Yes!” She smiled up at me. “I love strawberry jam.”

“Then you’re my strawberry Jammy.” I winked at her, and she giggled.

“I should go and check on Marcus.” She sighed. “Make sure he’s doing his homework.”

“Yeah, you should.” I smiled. “I’ll walk you to your apartment.”

She shook her head and made a little face. “You don’t have to do that.”

I laughed. “Have I told you that you remind me of a girl I once knew?”

She shook her head as we walked. “No, who?”

“When I was younger, I used to tease a girl on the bus. Her name was Riley, and one day she went to her mom and complained about me. Her mom came to my parents’ house and told them what was going on. She asked if she could ask me to protect her instead of my being punished.” I smiled at the memory as I spoke. “Well, that girl and I became friends, and she always used to make faces at me.”

“Is she your best friend?”

“No. Luke. You remember Luke? Well, he’s my best friend.”

“He’s goofy.” She made a face and then stopped, her hand flying to her mouth as she looked at me sheepishly. “I mean, he’s nice, but goofy.”

“That describes him perfectly.” I smiled at her.

“So, are you and Riley still friends?”

“No, not really.” I frowned as I thought of her. I paused as I let the feelings of love, joy, wonder, hurt, horror, and heartbreak wash over me. “She has her own life now.” I tried to smile again, but couldn’t.

I could see Riley’s face in my mind as clear as day. It made me feel incredibly guilty and incredibly sad. Riley was a part of my life that I couldn’t think about anymore. Not after what had happened. Not after Clara. It didn’t matter what I wished were different. This was my life now. I thought back to my earlier conversation with Luke and sighed inwardly. I had a feeling I was going to try and enter that fight. A million dollars would go a long way. I knew what Clara would want me to do, and I couldn’t let her down. Not now.

Chapter 2

Riley

Present Day

The taste of sin is sweet. Ridiculously sweet—like honey dipped in sugar. It’s satisfying for one distinct moment before you realize that it’s too much and you regret taking a bite. Especially if you’re like me and you’ve taken the biggest bite your mouth could handle.

“Riley, there is no way that you are going to be able to go in there and fool those guys into believing that you know a thing about underground fighting.”

“You don’t know my powers of persuasion.” I laughed. “And my acting skills are also great. I’ll be fine.”

“Unfortunately, I do know about your bad wannabe-actress skills. Also, you don’t have any powers of persuasion.” Eden shook her head. “Just because you watched one YouTube video about how to persuade people to believe you’re invisible doesn’t mean you have any mad skills. In fact, it gives you no skills and makes you a bit of an idiot.”

“I’m going to believe I didn’t hear that.” I stared at my reflection in the mirror. “Do you think I should cut my hair? Or dye it or something?”

“No way.” Eden jumped up and grabbed my arm. “If you cut off your beautiful hair, I will kill you.” Her fingers played with my long brown hair and she sighed with envy. “You have gorgeous hair, Riley. You know what I would do for your chestnut tresses.”

“I told you I’ll sell it to you.” I grinned at her and stared at her golden bob. “Though, half the world wishes they had naturally blond hair like you.”

“Uh huh.” She flopped down on the bed. “Anyways, this is not about me. Are you really going to try and infiltrate the fighting ring?”

“Yeah.” I looked at her in excitement. “This is my first real assignment. I can’t mess this up.”

“It’s not going to be dangerous, is it?” She looked at me with a worried expression. “You don’t want me to get Hudson down here, do you?”

“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes while my insides flushed at the mention of her brother’s name.

“You know he’ll totally drive down if he thinks you’re up to something bad.”

“Don’t tell him.” I gave her a stern look, and she laughed.

“You’d think he was your brother and not mine.” She shook her head. “Though I suppose I should be thankful that he thinks he has two younger sisters. I’m very grateful that he is on your case more than he is on mine.”

“Argh. I’m not,” I moaned. “My mom asked him to look after me when I was six. He doesn’t have to keep doing it like it’s his job.”

“It’s because he loves you like a sister,” Eden explained. “He plays the overprotective-big-brother role to a T.”

“Yeah he does.” I smiled at her before I turned around and walked to my closet.

“Did I tell you that he’s going on an around-the-world trip in a few months?”

“Oh?” I turned around in surprise and tried to still my beating heart. “For how long?”

“No idea. He thinks he’ll be gone for a year or two.”

“A year?” I frowned.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “You should be happy. I’m enthused. We can finally date boys and not have him acting like he’s a part of the FBI and they’re criminals.”

“Yeah.” I gave her a weak smile.

I was hurt that Hudson hadn’t called me to tell me of his plans. But then after what had happened three years ago, nothing had been the same.

“We’re twenty-one, Riley. We’re ready for real relationships.” Eden sighed and stared up at the ceiling. “I’m ready to lose my virginity.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, my face burning up at the huge secret I was keeping from her.

“I hope it’s romantic and sexy.” Her eyes glazed over as she daydreamed out loud. “I hope he has short, dark, silky tresses and sky blue eyes. I hope his lips are soft and sweet and taste like cotton candy. I hope my body trembles at his look and shivers at his touch.”

“Eden!” I burst out laughing. “You have been reading way too many Harlequin books. You really need to stop.”

“Shhh!” She grinned at me. “A girl can only hope right. Knowing my luck, it will be one, two, three, bam, and then he’ll fall asleep on me and I’ll be thinking, Is this it?”

“It won’t be that bad.”

“How do you know?”

“I don’t.” I made a face and closed my eyes for a second, remembering my first time. It had been as gentle as it was rough, sweet, bitter, and sweaty, and I had still been able to taste myself on his lips as we’d kissed and climaxed together. It had been the best night of my life. And also the worst. The most wickedly devious night of my life, and I wanted to relive it again and again.

“Well, we both need to find out then.” Eden giggled. “And preferably soon.”

* * *

"Hi, I'm Riley." I smiled wide at the group of guys in front of me. "I'm from the school newspaper," I continued and then groaned inside. "Not high school, by the way. I'm in college. At State," I mumbled, seeing that I was losing their attention. "I'm going for my English degree. I know, I know. Should I be studying journalism or some sort of broadcasting?" I paused as I saw a few of the guys yawning. "Anyways, I don't mean to bore you." I smiled tentatively this time. "I just wanted to introduce myself so that you know who I am if I ask you any questions or if you see me in the changing rooms." I tried not to sigh as I saw all of the guys looking at their phones. I'd lost them. Eden was right—I had no business being here. I wasn't a journalist, and I knew nothing about fighting or fighters. "Does anyone have any questions?"

"What are you doing tonight?" one of the guys shouted out, and the other guys laughed. He gave me a boyish smile, and I smiled at him without reservation.

"Hopefully talking to you," I shot back at him, and he raised his eyebrows at me. "What's your name?"

"Channing." His blue eyes twinkled at me. "Yes, like Channing Tatum."

"You wish." The guy to his right punched him in the shoulder. "You’re as much Channing Tatum as I am Denzel Washington." He rolled his eyes, and all the guys laughed again.

"What's your name?" I smiled at the handsome black guy, who looked much hotter than I considered Denzel Washington to be.

"Justin." He smiled boyishly at me. I laughed to myself at my thoughts. None of these guys were boys. Their bodies were fit and muscular, and while they were all still rather young, they were all definitely men.

"Nice to meet you, Justin." I found myself blushing as I felt him looking me over in a very inappropriate way.

"You too, Riley. I'd be happy to give you a private interview any day of the week—or should I say night."

"So who's the best fighter here?" I changed the subject, not wanting to give anyone the wrong impression. I knew how easy it would be to make one or some of the guys get the wrong impression of me, and I didn't want that to happen.

"Batman." Justin smiled wryly.

I looked around the group of six guys. "Who's Batman?"

"He's not here right now," Channing said with a shrug. "I guess he's too good to join us for a group meeting."

"Don't mind Channing." Justin rolled his eyes. "He's just a bit jealous."

"Jealous of what?" Channing's voice rose and he scowled at Justin.

"You're jealous ‘cause he's the new guy and he's already a better fighter than you."

"He's not a better fighter."

"He's in it to win it."

"We're all in it to win it." An extremely handsome boy spoke up. "Isn't that why we're all here?"

"Why are you all here?" I interjected eagerly. What made all of these guys want to enter the underground fighting match of the year?

"A million dollars." Justin flashed his perfect white teeth at me. His light brown eyes looked at me with a clear, honest expression. "We all want a chance to win a million dollars."

"But only one of you can enter the contest to represent this club, right?" I thought back to what I already knew about this underground world.

There were only a few private gyms that had access to the underground fighting championships, with Nick's being the only gym in the state. There was an annual championship and there were no rules. At least I'd heard there were no rules. And that people died. Or rather men, as no women had ever gained entrance.

"Yeah, the best member at each club gets to take part." Justin smiled at me again, his dark mocha skin seeming to glow in the bright lights. "And this year it's looking like that will be Batman."

"That's his name? Batman?"

"That's how we know him." Justin shrugged. "You'll meet him soon enough. He never misses a fight."

"A fight?"

"We have fights every week. The one who wins the most fights will represent Nick's and fight against the best nine fighters in the country."

“Nine?”

“Yeah. There are ten fighters who get to participate.” Justin held up both of his hands. “So you have a one-in-ten chance of winning a million dollars.”

Channing’s eyes narrowed at Justin’s words, and I could tell he was thinking about the money.

“So Batman is the best fighter here?”

“No.” Channing jumped up. “I’m going to knock his fucking brains out, punk-ass bitch.”

“He’s not talking about you.” Justin laughed, but I could tell he looked anxious. “Batman’s only been coming to the gym for two weeks. We were all pretty sure Channing would be the one representing us before he arrived.”

“It’s not fair.” Channing glared at me. “He’s trying to take my spot. I’ve been training for this shit for two years and he thinks he can just show up.”

“He’s a new fighter?” I asked curiously. “How did he get a spot with you guys?”

“Nick’s cousin is his best friend.” Justin answered me.

“I’ll punch Luke’s fucking face in as well.” Channing hit a boxing bag with such power that it swung back and forth furiously.

I stopped breathing for a second. “Luke?”

He couldn’t be talking about the same Luke I was thinking of. He just couldn’t be. Because that would mean that Batman was Hudson. And I didn’t know if I could stand to be around Hudson now. Not after everything that had happened.

“Let’s not talk about him.” Justin jumped up. “What else do you want to know?”

“I guess for now I’ll just watch you train, if that’s okay?” I closed my notepad and put it into my bag. “I just want to observe.”

“Sure, whatever.” Justin nodded, and the other guys stood up, walking away from me. They all went in different directions, and I wasn’t sure which one I should follow.

I stood there for a few moments when I noticed that Channing was in the corner just standing there. I walked over to him slowly and stopped just in front of him.

“Hey, everything okay?” I asked him softly, hoping he was not still angry.

He looked up and nodded. “I’m fine.” His blue eyes looked sad, and I felt sorry for him even though I didn’t know why.

“You may still get the opportunity, right?” I tried to be encouraging. “Maybe this Batman guy will mess up? I mean, who calls themselves Batman?”

“A douche, that’s who.” He gave me a small smile. “Thanks for your kind words. I guess it’s not over until the fat lady sings.”

“Exactly.” I smiled wide. “You look like you’re pretty strong to me.”

“I’m strong, but the championships are about more than strength. They’re also about being smart.”

I looked at him in surprise. “Oh?”

“You thought it was just about the fighting, didn’t you?” He laughed and shook his head.

“I did.” I looked at the ground, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“Hey, you wouldn’t know.” He touched my shoulder, and I looked up at him. His expression had changed, and there was a look of curious wonder and interest in his eyes. “Do you know anything about fighting?”

“I know a bit about boxing and MMA.”

“This isn’t MMA.”

“Oh. I thought it was similar?”

“Mixed martial arts is still pretty controlled. Underground fighting is dirty. It’s physical and psychological. You have to be aware of everything. The most important part is your mind. Not your muscles.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Maybe I can take you out to dinner and explain everything to you.” His expression changed even more this time, and I felt my heart racing. I didn’t know what it was about Channing, but something about him made me pause. He seemed like a nice guy, but when he grew angry, there was a light in his eyes that made me wonder just how angry he could get.

“Yeah, that would be cool.” I nodded and looked around the room. I saw Justin motioning for me to come join him and I nearly cried out in happiness that he was saving me. “But let’s talk later, yeah? I think Justin wants to talk to me.”

“Okay.” Channing looked disappointed, and I quickly walked away from him.

“Hey, how can I help you, Justin?” I almost ran up to him, and he laughed.

“You’re funny.” He grinned. “I’m actually just about to lift before the fights start. But it looked like you needed someone to intervene.”

“Thanks. Is he always this intense?” I paused and blushed. “I hope you don’t think I’m offending him.”

“I’m not concerned if you offend him or not.” He laughed again. “Channing’s just pissed because he thought he was going to get to go and then Batman came in at the last moment.”

“So…this Batman. He’s really good, huh?” I stared at him thoughtfully. “How come he’s not here right now?”

“He comes and goes as he likes. I think he trains somewhere else. He just comes here for the fights.”

“Oh.”

“Stay around and you’ll get to meet him. He’s a different guy. A bit older, but he seems cool.”

“I have class in ten minutes. I should really get going. Hopefully I can meet him when I come tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “He comes every day. Even when we don’t want to see him.”

“Sounds like you like him just as much as Channing does.”

“That obvious?” He shrugged and picked up some weights. “I don’t know. It’s just all fucked up. We all need this fight. We all want this opportunity. It’s just not right that we’ve been here busting our asses for months and he just shows up.” He looked me in the eye then and leaned forward. “I’ll tell you this, Riley. I’ve got a bad feeling. A really bad feeling.”

Chapter 3

Hudson

Present Day

I felt slightly out of breath as I got to the gym. I’d run twenty miles today, but I knew that it still wasn’t enough. I had to be in the best shape of my life if I had a chance of winning the million dollars. I laughed as I walked into the gym. “You don’t even have the entry yet, buddy,” I chided myself and looked around.

A part of me felt bad that I was going to be taking the spot that some of these guys had been practicing for over the last couple of years. But when I thought of Clara’s mom and Jamilah, I knew that I had to take a shot at the title. Luke had been delighted when I’d called him and asked for more information. I think he’d known that as soon as he’d mentioned Clara’s name he’d had me. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for Clara.

“Well, look who we have here, it’s Batman.” Channing’s voice carried through the gym. He sounded bitter and angry, and I knew that he had hoped he’d never see me again.

I knew that he was my biggest competition to represent Nick’s club at the championships. He had considered the spot his until I had shown up. I felt bad that I was going to take it.  I really did.

A female laugh made me pause, and I looked back around the room, slowly this time. Time seemed to stand still as I saw her. Her head was held back and she was laughing. I saw the long lines of her slender neck and I froze. She seemed to notice me then because she suddenly looked in my direction. Her eyes met mine and I felt as if the world had stopped. Time has stopped and images flashed into mine as I looked at her, and I was transported back to one of the last times we’d been together.

Four Years Ago

“Hudson, we should get back to the house.” Riley giggled as I made chocolate faces on my pancakes. “Eden and Clara will be wondering where we are.”

“Let them sleep some more.” I stared at her. I couldn’t stop myself from just looking at her face and into her eyes. Being with Riley made me feel happy. “It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other.”

“Well now that you’re a college guy, you just don’t have time for me.” She smiled, but I could hear the sadness in her voice.

“I figured you didn’t want to be bothered by me anymore. Now that you’re so busy with all those guys.”

She frowned. “What guys?”

“You know.” I tried to keep my tone light. “All your high school boyfriends.”

“What boyfriends?” She tilted her head and started playing with her hair. I felt a stirring in my stomach as I stared at her innocent expression.

“Don’t you call them boyfriends now?” I faked a laugh. “Are they all friends with benefits?”

“Friends with benefits?” She laughed. “What benefits?”

“You know.” My heart thudded. I wasn’t sure why I was going into this line of questioning, but I had to know if she was seeing anyone.

“No, I don’t.” She shook her head and then took a sip of water. I watched as her eyes widened and she looked at me in shock. “Hudson, you’re not asking me if I’m having sex with a bunch of different guys, are you?”

“No, of course not,” I groaned, and both of our faces went red.

“I don’t have any friends with benefits, Hudson Blake.” She leaned forward and hit me in the arm. “I can’t believe you would ask me that.”

“Sorry, I just thought...” I sighed and shook my head. “Forget what I thought. Eden told me something about you and that guy and I just assumed.”

She looked confused. “What guy and assumed what?”

“Well, it was a night you were playing seven minutes in heaven.”

“What?” She looked at me and laughed. “I’ve only played that once and that was ages ago.”

“Oh.” I looked at her lips again and sighed. So I’d gone and made a mess of things. “I thought you were practicing all your newly acquired kissing skills on other guys.”

“Don’t remind me of that night,” she groaned and looked at the table. “Thank you for humoring me that day.”

“I wasn’t just humoring you. I enjoyed it as well,” I said softly, and her breath caught. She looked up at me again and her brown eyes seemed to glow as we sought answers to unspoken questions. “I enjoyed it very much.”

“You’re just saying that.” She looked down, and I stared at her for a few moments before answering.

If she only knew just how much I’d enjoyed it, she’d think I was some sort of pervert. I’d thought about that night many times and I’d had dreams that that kiss had led to so much more.

“When have I ever just said something?”

“All the time.” She rolled her eyes. “Like when you didn’t call me an annoying brat when we were growing up.”

“You weren’t an annoying brat.” I laughed.

She looked up at me with laughing eyes. “Yes, I was. I cried all the time.”

“Then make it up to me.” I suddenly leaned forward. “Let’s go swimming.”

“I can’t.” She shook her head slowly. “I don’t have my bathing suit.”

“So?” I grinned, ignoring the warning bells that were going off in my head. “Neither do I.”

“But you’re a boy.”

“I’m glad you noticed.” I flexed my biceps and she grinned.

“You’re silly.”

“What’s new?”

“You shouldn’t have kissed me.” She blushed as she looked at me.

“What?” I licked my lips slowly.

“You shouldn’t have kissed me,” she repeated. “You have a girlfriend.”

“It was just an innocent peck,” I lied.

“I know that, but if anyone had seen, they would have thought something different.”

“Who?”

“Who what?”

“Who would have seen and thought something different?”

“You’re trying to be difficult, aren’t you?” She jumped up. “Let’s go.”

“Yes, Ms. Bossy Pants.”

“Whatever.” She flung her hair and walked towards the door.

I watched her walk for a few seconds before I put some bills on the table and followed her. I knew she was right of course. It had been wrong of me to kiss her and hope for something more while I was dating Clara. I sighed as I thought of Clara.

I wasn’t really sure how a relationship had occurred. It had just seemed to have happened. After the party, we’d kind of just kept hanging out on the weekends, and then one night, she got so drunk she couldn’t go home, so she stayed over. The next thing I knew, we were having sex and she was introducing me to her friends as her boyfriend.

It wasn’t that I had tried to stop any of it. I hadn’t. Not really. I felt that dating Clara made me a normal guy and not some pervert who was lusting over his little sister’s best friend. I mean, I used to tease Riley, pull her hair. She’d cried to me over the smallest, stupidest things. I’d seen her through pimples, braces, and awkward hairstyles, yet I couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful she was when she smiled.

A part of me regretted coming to the house this summer. I had a bad feeling that someone was going to be heartbroken by the end of the summer. Maybe Riley was right. Maybe we should just go back home and I’d avoid her as much as possible.

“Hudson.” Riley came running back into the restaurant with eager eyes. “Hurry.” She grabbed my hands and pulled me out of the restaurant with her.

“What’s so urgent?”

“I’ve decided I want to go swimming.” She laughed. “Now take me before I change my mind.”

I stared at her in surprise, my heart suddenly racing. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, let’s do it.” She stood by the car door, waiting for me to open it, and I felt my heart leaping.

“Shit, I’m going to hell,” I muttered to myself as I opened the car.

“Sorry, what did you say?” she asked me with eager eyes, and I shook my head, smiling back at her.

“Nothing.” I took a deep breath. “Nothing at all.”

We drove for about ten minutes until I pulled off to the side of the road and stopped the car.

“This part of the beach is pretty desolate. I don’t think many people come here, so we’ll have some privacy.”

“Sounds good.” She eagerly jumped out of the car and ran to the sand.

I followed her eagerly, wondering what sort of trouble I was getting myself into. Riley kept running, and I frowned as I saw her jumping into the ocean.

“What are you doing?” I asked, confused as I watched her jumping waves.

“I’m about to swim. Why?” she shouted back at me, looking very youthful as she squealed.

“Uhm, you have clothes on.” I pulled my shirt and pants off and ran into the ocean after her.

“You thought I was going to take my clothes off?” She looked so shocked that I laughed.

“I thought we were going to skinny dip.”

“Oh.” Her eyes widened, and I saw them survey my naked chest.

“Yeah. Oh.” I shook my head and grabbed her around the waist. “Don’t mind me. I’m an idiot.”

“Put me down, Hudson!” she screamed as I swung her around in my arms.

“Sorry, what?” I grinned down at her as she clung to me.

“Put me down!” she screamed again, and I dropped her in the ocean. “Hudson Blake! Argh!” She splashed around in the water and I laughed. “I’m going to get you.” She stood up and started splashing me.

I tried not to stare at her breasts since her nipples were clearly visible through the thin, wet material. I turned away to stop myself from reaching out and touching her. I wanted to groan at the sudden tightness in my pants.

Riley jumped on my back and attempted to push me into the water. I stood there for a second, enjoying the feel of her against me, and then fell into the water with her still on my back. We splashed around for a few seconds, laughing and coughing up the salty ocean water. I jumped up and pulled Riley up with me. I held her in my arms for a second before letting go and taking a step back.

“This was fun.” She grinned through chattering teeth. “Though it’s a bit cold.”

“It would have been warmer if you were naked,” I joked, and she poked me in the chest.

“Sure it would have.”

“I’m just saying.”

“Do you and Clara go skinny dipping a lot then?” She looked up at me, and I couldn’t tell if she genuinely wanted to know or if she was just trying to bring Clara’s name up to remind me that I had a girlfriend.

I shook my head. “No.”

“I wonder if she’s up and making cocktails already.” Riley giggled, but I frowned at her words.

I was worried about Clara’s alcohol intake. It seemed that she was always getting drunk these days. I thought back to the day we’d first met and how I’d thought she didn’t drink, but Clara had a problem with alcohol. I just didn’t know how to confront her about it.

“Let’s hope not.” I dove into the water and swam out into the ocean.

I loved swimming in the ocean’s never-ending pool of water. It was so different than swimming in a regular pool. The expanse of water was so large in the ocean that I felt like I could drift off and just keep going. In a pool, you always had to stop and turn around. There was something so jarring about swimming in a pool that wasn’t there in the openness of the ocean. I could float away in the ocean and forget all of my worries.

I finally stopped swimming out and started swimming back to shore. I could see Riley standing there watching me with big open eyes. I wanted to know what she was thinking, what she thought of me. Did she think I was a creep because I was flirting with her while I had a girlfriend? Did she hate my kisses? Did she know that she was as special to me as she was?

I swallowed a mouthful of salt water by mistake and starting coughing as I swam back. It was taking longer for me to swim back to the shore because the current was strong and kept pushing me farther back. I knew better than to panic, continuing with my front crawl, and kept trying to swim back to shore.

“Hudson!” Riley called out. “Come back in now please. You’re scaring me.”

I could hear the panic in her voice as she waved me in. I wanted to shout back that I was coming, but I knew I needed to keep my mouth shut in these murky waters. I didn’t want to swallow any more salt water, and I didn’t want to expend my energy trying to communicate with her. I increased the pace of my arms and tried to double up my strokes as I attempted to swim back to Riley.

I saw her start swimming towards me and I panicked. I didn’t know if Riley would be able to make it back to shore with these riptides if she made it all the way to me. I took a deep breath and started swimming furiously. The only thing on my mind was making sure that Riley didn’t make it all the way out to me.

I could see Riley’s arms flailing as she got close to me, and my heart stopped for a brief second before adrenaline kicked in. I swam towards her and grabbed her around the waist before setting her on her back and swimming back with her to the sand. This time, there was no current too treacherous for me to defeat. There was no way I was going to let anything happen to Riley. I made it back to shore in record time, and I carried a coughing Riley out of the ocean.

“You okay?” I looked down at her face as she coughed up salt water and tried to calm my nerves.

“I’m fine,” she sputtered. “I was worried about you.”

“I’m fine as well.” I glared down at her. “That was a stupid move to make, coming out into the water to save me. How did you think that was going to happen?”

“I didn’t think.” She glared back at me. “I just acted. I just wanted to help.”

“You nearly drowned.”

“Only because I had my clothes weighing me down and the current out there is crazy,” she muttered back to me.

“Don’t ever do that again, Riley.”

“I didn’t want to see you die, Hudson.” Her eyes filled up with tears. “I had to do something.”

“Shh.” I crouched down and pulled her into my arms. “It’s okay now. We’re both fine.”

“I know.” She nodded and looked into my eyes.

We were both still for a moment before our lips met, slowly and unsteadily at first, as if neither of us knew what the other one wanted. Then the kiss deepened and we fell back into the sand, our tongues exploring each other while we held hands. The kiss only lasted for a few minutes before we both just lay back and stared at the sky in silence. My heart was beating fast as we lay there, exhausted, but happy, both of us wishing that we were somewhere else. That it was just the two of us.

My ringing phone upset the mood, and I groaned when I saw Clara’s name on the screen. I was going to ignore it when I saw Riley look at the screen and jump up.

“I guess we should go.” She looked into the ocean and avoided my eyes.

“Yeah.” I nodded and got up.

We walked back to my car in silence, neither of us mentioning the moment we’d just had. Neither of us bringing up the fact that there was something developing between us. I guess we both realized that, with Clara in the picture, nothing could happen. Or at least nothing should happen. What sort of people would we be if we went ahead while I was still in a relationship?

* * *

Everything in the gym seemed to go still as I stared at Riley. All the old feelings hit me once again—feelings that had never really left me. I watched as she raised her hand and waved at me with an awkward smile. I stared at her for a moment, not knowing what to do.

I felt guilty that a part of me was so excited to see her. I wanted to run over to her, pick her up, and give her a big kiss. I wanted to hold her close to me. I wanted to feel her warm body against mine once again. I wanted to be able to love her freely. But then I thought of Clara, and the color that had seeped into my world for a brief moment faded to black once again. I turned away abruptly without even acknowledging her and walked to the locker room with my heart beating fast.

Why was she here? I was annoyed. I hadn’t expected to see her. I didn’t want to see her. Riley could make what was very simple become complicated again. I closed my eyes and then went to splash my face with cold water. I felt bad for ignoring her, but I knew that was the only way. I had to be indifferent to her. After everything that had happened, I couldn’t allow myself to seek joy in her presence. I was a sinner and I had to pay for what I had done.

Chapter 5

Riley

Present Day

I hurried out of the gym with tears in my eyes. I should have known that Hudson was Batman. He’d always been Batman. I didn’t understand why he had snubbed me. Well, I guess that was a lie. I did understand why. I just hadn’t expected it.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe as I walked to my car. Seeing him had affected me deeply. I felt winded. When I’d waved at him, his eyes had lit up for one brief second. For a split second, I’d thought everything was going to be okay. He had forgiven me. He had forgiven himself. We were all right. But then the light had faded, his eyes had darkened, and he’d walked away without even acknowledging my existence.

I knew he blamed himself for what had happened. I knew that the guilt must be ravaging him inside. I knew that because the guilt was still ravaging me. Every single day. I felt like I was the scarlet woman. The whore of Babylon. I knew why he hated me, because I hated myself. But I still held hope.

My breath had still caught when I saw him. My heart had still jumped when my eyes took him in. Oh, how I’d longed for the day when I would see him again. My tall, wonderful Hudson. He’d looked sweaty and more fit than I remembered him being. It had been four years since I’d seen him. Four long years. And nobody even realized it aside from me. I knew that Eden didn’t think anything of it. But of course, she didn’t know. She couldn’t know.

I got into my car and sat there for a while, just letting my tears flow. I hadn’t expected it to feel like this.

I’d been waiting for this moment for years. Hudson was my first love. My only love. And I’d longed for the day when I would get to see him again. I’d hoped that it would be like it had been in the beginning: easy, carefree, loving. He’d always been my protector, more than my best friend’s brother. He’d been like my best friend as well. Only I had gone and ruined it. I’d ruined it all in one impetuous moment.

Four Years Ago

It was the final night of our summer vacation and while I was happy to have enjoyed the last two weeks of the summer with my best friend and her family, I was also incredibly sad. I had watched Hudson and Clara go out each day, and I’d been jealous. Very, very jealous. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Clara. She was by all accounts a sweet, intelligent girl. But I didn’t want her with Hudson.

Hudson sat next to me on the couch. “Hey, sweet pea. What you thinking about?”

“Nothing. I can’t believe this is our final night.” I smiled at him and tried not to shiver as he put his arm around my shoulder.

“I know.” He nodded. “It went by so fast.”

“We didn’t even get to spend much time together,” I blurted out and then groaned inwardly. Why was I being so obvious?

“You and Eden seem to have been very busy.”

“You and Clara looked busy too.” I could hear the jealousy in my voice, and I bit my lower lip in embarrassment. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course. You guys are in love.”

“We’re not in love.” Hudson shook his head. “Far from it.”

“Oh.” I looked into his eyes then and saw an emotion I’d never seen before. “I thought you were.”

“No, we’re just friends.”

“Friends with benefits?”

“There aren’t many benefits,” he laughed and looked over at Clara. “I mean, she’s a great girl, but we aren’t together for stuff like that.”

“Stuff like what?” I giggled.

He rolled his eyes. “Benefit stuff.”

“You mean sex?”

“Yes, Riley.” He sighed and squeezed my shoulder. “I mean sex.”

“You guys have never had sex?”

“We have.” His eyes searched mine. “But we haven’t had sex on this trip.”

My eyes widened. “Oh.” I wanted to ask why, but I was scared of his answer.

“Hudson, let’s go down to the bar,” Clara called over to us as she danced along to a song in the kitchen.

“We have beers here, Clara,” Hudson called back, but he didn’t get up.

“I want to go to the bar.” She made a face. “Don’t be a spoilsport.”

“I don’t want to go to the bar. You’ve had enough to drink.”

“Who are you? My dad?” She left the kitchen and walked over to us. “Leave the little kids behind and let’s go be with the big kids.”

I gasped at her words. She’d never been so mean and rude to me before. I could see from across the room that Eden looked a bit shocked as well.

“Be nice.” Hudson frowned. “And maybe go and lie down. You’re drunk.”

“I’m not drunk,” Clara slurred.

“Come on.” Hudson jumped up and grabbed her arm. “Excuse me, Riley.” He gave me a small smile and escorted Clara out of the room.

“I guess they’re about to have some hot drunken sex.” Eden grinned at me, and I attempted a smile, though it was very weak.

“Yeah, who knows.” I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a soda, feeling overwhelmingly sad. “I wish today wasn’t our last day here.”

“I know,” Eden groaned. “I don’t want to go back to school.”

“At least we have college applications to look forward to.”

“Are you joking?” Eden gave me a crazy look. “I still have to retake my SATs, and I don’t know if my GPA is good enough to get into State.”

“Not trying for Harvard anymore?” I laughed.

“Harvard my ass.” She grinned at me. “My GPA wouldn’t even get me into the kitchen staff program.”

“Kitchen staff program?” I burst out laughing and collapsed next to her on the couch. “You always make me laugh, you goof.”

“You know it’s true. Shit, I may not even get into State. I may have to go to community college for two years.”

“Nothing wrong with that.” I smiled at her and rubbed her shoulders. “It’s cheaper.”

“You’re a doll, Riley, but I do not want to go to community college first.” She sighed. “I want to meet hot frat guys, and there are no hot frat guys in community college.”

“Eden, you do know you’re not going to college to meet guys, right?”

“What? I’m going to get laid.” She grinned.

“What do you think you’re first time will be like?” I sat back and sipped on my Coke.

“I hope it’s hot.” She grinned. “And I hope he’s hot as well. Tall, blond, maybe a surfer. And I hope he’s really into me.”

I rolled my eyes. “Well, I would hope he’s really into you as well.”

“What about you? What do you want your first time to be like?”

“I want it to be magical.” I closed my eyes and thought for a moment. “I want it to be under the stars. I want there to be fireworks in the sky. I want him to hold me and love me and kiss me all over. I want him to—”

“Okay, this is sounding like a movie, Riley.” Eden laughed. “I do not foresee some random guy in college kissing you all over. More like a quick in out, in out, and bam.” She laughed. “That’s what Alexis told me her first time was like with Todd.”

“She had sex with Todd?” My mouth dropped open, and Eden nodded.

“Didn’t I tell you?” Eden squealed. “She and Todd had sex and he came within three minutes.”

“What?” I screamed. “Three minutes?”

“And he wasn’t wearing a condom yet.”

“What?” I screamed again.

“So she had to take a pregnancy test.” Eden shook her head. “Imagine if she got pregnant after three minutes.”

“That would be crazy.”

“What would be crazy?” Hudson walked back into the room with his shirt off and I tried not to gasp out loud. He was so hot.

“Nothing.” I shook my head, embarrassed.

“Alexis had sex with Todd and he lasted three minutes and now she thinks she might be pregnant,” Eden burst out.

Hudson laughed in response. “Is this a soap opera or something?”

“No, you know Alexis,” Eden rambled on. “My friend with the white-blond hair and the big boobs.”

“Uh, okay.” He shrugged and looked at me with a small smile. “What are you guys up to tonight?”

“I’m going out with that cute guy from Boston.” Eden jumped up. “I better go and get ready.”

“What about Riley?” Hudson frowned as he watched his sister run to the bathroom.

“Riley doesn’t mind, do you?” She looked at me and I shook my head.

“It’s cool. I’ll just watch TV.”

“Why don’t we go somewhere?” Hudson looked at me casually.

“I thought you and Clara were going to go to a bar.”

“No.” He shook his head. “No, we’re not.”

“Oh.”

“I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I think Clara and I are pretty much done.” He sighed. “It was a mistake to date her.”

“Why?” I asked him with wide eyes and excitement in my heart.

“I don’t think we are compatible.” He shrugged. “But let’s not talk about it.” He gave me a smile. “Want to do something tonight?”

“Okay.” I nodded and then thought back to my conversation with Eden. There were some parts that I hadn’t told her. Like that I wanted Hudson to be my first. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. What do you think?”

“Maybe we can go swimming.”

“Swimming?” He looked surprised. “At night?”

“Well, you know. We only went that once and it was a bit of a mess.”

“You can say that again.” He laughed. “Okay then. Let me go and get my trunks.”

“Or maybe we can skinny dip this time,” I spoke slowly, not believing what I was saying.

His eyes blazed into mine in shock. “Are you sure?”

I nodded. A look of understanding passed between us.

“I’m sure.” I reached over and softly touched his chest. He stilled and grabbed my hand.

“What are you doing?”

“Just checking out your tattoos,” I lied, but I wasn’t about to tell him that I just wanted to touch him because I couldn’t resist anymore.

“Do you like them now?”

“They’re just okay.” I half-smiled at him.

“You’re just okay.” He ruffled my hair, and I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Ass.”

“I never want to be an ass to you, Riley.” He pulled me into his arms and looked down at me for a few seconds. “I hope you know that.”

“I do.”

“Are you sure you want to go skinny dipping?”

“Yes.” I nodded and leaned up, kissing him lightly.

“I taught you well.” He laughed, leaning down and kissing me harder. I felt the tip of his tongue on my lips, and I opened my mouth slightly before we both jumped apart.

“You guys decided what you want to do?” Eden walked back into the room, spraying herself with perfume.

“Not yet.” I shrugged, trying not to blush too much. “We’re still deciding.”

“Okay, well, have fun.” She hugged me. “I can’t believe we’re leaving tomorrow.”

“Me either.” I hugged her back hard.

A part of me felt like my life was about to change tonight. Tomorrow seemed so far away. Part of me didn’t care if tomorrow never came, just as long as I had tonight.

“Okies, I’m out. See you fools later.”

“Eden, sometimes I wonder about you.” Hudson laughed and gave her a quick hug. “Be safe and call if you need anything.”

“Yes, brother of mine.” She rolled her eyes and ran to the door. “Don’t worry. I’m not about to lose my V-card tonight.” She laughed again at her brother’s expression and ran out the front door. “Be safe, bitches. See you soon.”

“I don’t know where she got that mouth from.” Hudson grinned at me.

“Haha. You know Eden. She’s always got the slang down.”

“I wish she’d get her grades up.” He sighed. “So what about you? What are your college plans?”

“I’m thinking I’ll go to State and study journalism.”

“I’ll have to show you around when you come visit.” He smiled. “I thought you were going to go to Duke or something?”

“I was thinking about Vanderbilt and Duke but decided State is fine.” I looked down. “It’s cheaper.” And I’ll be closer to you, I thought to myself.

“Makes sense.” He nodded and grabbed my hand. “Let’s get out of here.”

We ran out of the house and to his car before stopping. “Want to just walk to the beach?” Hudson looked at me. “Or would you prefer to take the car?”

“Let’s walk.” I nodded, suddenly excited. “But maybe we should get a towel or something.”

“Hold on.” He grinned at me and ran back inside. About five minutes later, he came back outside with a bag and a cocky grin. “Let’s go.”

The walk to the beach seemed to flash by in a blur. All I could think was, He’s holding my hand. Hudson Blake is holding my hand. It felt surreal. And I still felt a bit bad. Even though he had said he was about to dump Clara, he hadn’t yet. What I was doing was still wrong. I felt bad about it, but I wasn’t really thinking about it. I was too caught up in the moment. I’d never felt this excited and exhilarated before. I was with Hudson and we were about to do something bad—really bad—yet I felt so good.

* * *

“Are you ready?”

We stood at the edge of the water and stared up at the moon. There was a cool chill in the air, but I didn’t feel cold. In fact, I felt as if my body were burning up. I looked over at Hudson and gasped as he pulled off his shirt and pants in front of me.

“I don’t know,” I whispered, suddenly shy. “I, uh, need a minute.”

“Sure.” He smiled at me, and I watched as he pulled his boxers down as if he didn’t have a care in the world. I stared at his manhood and froze. I couldn’t believe it. I was seeing him naked. “See ya.” He grinned at me and ran into the ocean. I watched as he swam a few strokes and then jumped back up. “You coming in?”

“Yes.” I called out and stared at him in the ocean. He was waiting for me, and I felt as if I were in some indie movie and this was some poetic scene.

I took my clothes off slowly, feeling shy but excited. I was so excited that my fingers were trembling in anticipation. I couldn’t believe that this was happening. The air felt weird against my naked skin. I stood there in my bra and panties and took a step towards the water. I saw Hudson staring at me. I couldn’t see the expression in his eyes, but I knew he was anticipating this moment as much as I was. The moonlight shone down on him, and for some reason, he reminded me of a werewolf.

“What’s so funny?” he called out to me as I started laughing.

“Nothing.” I shook my head, quickly unclasped my bra, and then ran into the ocean. I was too scared to take my panties off. It felt like the moment would be too real if I went completely naked. It was like I was giving myself to him on a silver platter. I didn’t want to be easy.

I dove into the water and stayed underwater as I swam. I wanted my body to become accustomed to the cold water. I came up for air and stared at the sky for a few moments before looking for Hudson.

“Over here,” he called out and waved his hands. He was only a few feet away, and I swam over to him slowly. “Hey.” He smiled at me as I reached him.

“Hey.” I smiled back at him, treading water carefully. I made sure that only my head was above water. I was too shy to let him see my naked breasts.

“It feels nice, doesn’t it?”

I nodded. “Yeah, the water is refreshing.”

“Yeah, it is.” He reached over and touched my face for a second. “Sorry, I was wiping away some water. You had some on your face.”

“I’m in the ocean,” I replied stupidly and we both laughed.

“So how does it feel?” He floated on his back.

“It’s different.” I decided to be brave and float on my back as well. I felt my breasts bobbing at the top of the water. It felt weird and different, but also kind of nice. I felt like I was one with nature.

“The stars are really bright tonight.” He continued with his small talk and I realized that he was nervous as well.

“I wonder if we’ll see a shooting star.”

“What would you wish for if you saw one?” he asked as we both stared up into the night sky.

“Nothing,” I answered softly. “I wouldn’t wish for anything. What about you?”

“Nothing either,” he said. “This moment is pretty much perfect. I don’t think I could wish for anything more perfect than this.”

“Me either,” I whispered back. I felt as if my heart were going to burst out of my chest. And then I felt his hands around my waist as he pulled me to him. I wasn’t afraid or scared as I felt my breasts crush across his chest.

“Hey.” He smiled down at me. There was a look of intensity in his eyes as he searched mine.

“Hey again.” I felt his hands gripping my back, and instinctively I wrapped my legs around his waist.

“You’re wearing panties.” He laughed and I looked up at him curiously.

“How did you know?”

“Because if you weren’t, we’d be making love right now.” He winked at me and pushed my butt forward. I gasped as I felt something hard between my legs.

“Oh.” I blushed, glad that the night sky was hiding my embarrassment and lust.

“Maybe you shouldn’t keep your legs like that,” he groaned into my ear and I looked at him again.

“Why?”

“Because your panties might not remain on for long.”

“Oh.” I laughed nervously, wishing that I’d taken them off before I’d gone into the ocean.

“How many boys have you been with, Riley?”

“None.” I bit my lower lip as I waited to see how he was going to react. “Hopefully that will change tonight.”

“Are you sure you want me to be the one?” He struggled with the words, and I nodded my response. “We don’t have to do this.”

“I want you to be the one.” I looked into his eyes. “I like you.”

He grinned at me. “I like you too.”

“You were my first kiss and I want you to be my first, you know…lover.”

“I don’t want to do this if you aren’t ready.”

“I want it to be special,” I whispered. A part of me was screaming at me that this wasn’t special. It wasn’t special or right—not when he had a girlfriend—but I ignored the voice.

“I want to be your first,” he groaned. “Maybe I shouldn’t admit that. Right? I don’t know. You’re all I think about, Riley. You’re so special to me. I wish that—”

“Sshh.” I leaned forward and kissed him. The water was starting to feel colder, so I pressed into him harder.

He leaned back and looked into my eyes. “I think I might love you, Riley.”

“I think I might love you too, Hudson.” I laughed, happy but still feeling like what I was doing was wrong.

“I want our first time to be special.”

“This is special.” I pushed away from him and pulled my panties off. I held them in my hands and he watched as I threw them into the ocean. “This is what I want.”

“Oh, Riley.” His fingers reached out and caressed my breasts.

I sighed as his fingers played with my nipples. It felt nice, and a warm feeling spread throughout my body. I’d never felt like this before, and I wasn’t accustomed to this strange but welcome feeling.

I reached out and touched his chest. It felt cold and hard and wonderful. I ran my fingers over his nipples, and he gasped as I pinched them. I looked up at him in amazement and he laughed.

“What’s so funny?” I mumbled and leaned forward to kiss his chest.

“Nothing.” He cupped my breasts and then I felt his hands moving to my butt. “You’re just wonderful.” His fingers ran over my ass and squeezed gently. “I want to kiss your breasts,” he whispered in my ear, and I swallowed hard.

“Oh yeah?”

“Let’s go to the shore.” He grabbed my hand and we swam together as one until it became too difficult, and then swam separately.

Hudson made it to the sand before I did, and he pulled me out of the water as I caught up with him. He picked me up and carried me to our clothes and his bag. He set me down gently, pulled out a towel, and wrapped it around me, drying my body.

“What are you doing?” I stood still as he rubbed me down.

“I don’t want you catching a cold because you’re cold and wet,” he answered seriously, and he paused before he started rubbing between my legs. We both froze as he dried my thighs and then my breasts.

“My turn now.” I gave him a small smile. “Do you have another towel?”

“I want you to use this one,” he said to me slowly and pulled it off my body.

I took it into my hands and tried to stop myself from feeling self-conscious as I stood there naked. I held the towel gingerly and started rubbing his chest down. The water drops clung to his chest hair, and I watched them carefully as if my job of drying him were the most important job in the world. And then I moved the towel farther down his body and paused. I heard Hudson’s sharp intake of breath as my fingers slowly touched his hardness.

I stared at him in amazement. This was the first time I’d seen a naked man’s body and held a man’s penis in my hands. It felt strange and weird and wonderful. I wasn’t sure if he expected me to drop to my knees and take him into my mouth, but I knew I couldn’t just do that, even though I was really curious to find out what it tasted like. I wanted to spend the whole night exploring and getting to know his beautiful body.

“You’re gorgeous.” His voice sounded raspy as he looked at me.

“You’re just saying that.”

“No. No I’m not.” He shook his head and pulled my hand away from his hardness. Reaching down to the bag, he pulled out a blanket. He shook it out and we arranged it so that it was flat on the sand. “Come.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me down onto the blanket with him.

We stared at each other for a few moments before he leaned forward and took one of my nipples in his mouth. My body trembled as his hot breath heated my cold body to its core. It felt strange to feel his teeth on my nipple. He sucked on one breast gently while his fingers played with the other one, and I groaned as I felt an odd wetness filling up between my legs. It felt so erotic and naughty and like nothing I’d ever felt before. Hudson looked up at me with dark eyes before switching his mouth to the other breast. I screamed slightly as his sank his teeth harder down on my other nipple.

He stopped biting and looked at me in concern. “Am I hurting you?”

“No,” I whispered and shook my head.

I used that opportunity to explore his chest with my hands. I ran my fingernails along his nipples and smiled when I heard him gasp. I was about to lean forward and suck on his nipples when he pushed me flat on my back.

“Has a guy ever gone down on you before?” He looked down at me with passion filled eyes, and I shook my head. “Good.” He grinned and kissed me hard on the lips before kissing down my body.

I lay flat on my back wondering what he was going to do. I’d heard about men going down on women, but I didn’t really understand why. What was great about that? I felt embarrassed that he was going to be putting his face there, in my private spot.

“Relax, Riley.” His voice was hoarse as he reached my stomach. I felt his fingers trying to spread my legs apart, but I kept them closed. “It’s okay, Riley. Open your legs,” he whispered and slipped a finger between my thighs.

“I’m scared,” I whispered.

“Don’t be.” His voice sounded reassuring, so I slowly unclenched my legs. He took the opportunity to spread them wide, and I moaned loudly as I felt his fingers gently touching my private spot. “How does this feel?” he whispered as he ran his fingers up and down, making me wetter and wetter.

“It feels good,” I whispered and closed my eyes as my body was filled with unfamiliar feelings. I felt like a woman. I felt like I finally understood the secret of love and sex. I now understood why so many people made a big deal of sex.

“Good,” he whispered. His finger started rubbing me gently, and I felt an even more intense feeling building up in me. I tried to close my legs to stop the feeling from spreading because I thought I was going to pee.

“Stop.” I whispered, terrified that I was going to pee on his finger.

“What’s wrong?” he groaned and looked down at me. “Are you okay?”

“I just feel like I’m going to...” I whispered, not wanting to finish the sentence.

“Oh,” he laughed. “Are you scared because you’re wet?”

I nodded and he shook his head. “Don’t be embarrassed, Riley. It’s natural. It’s beautiful. Just like you.”

“Are you sure?” I groaned as I felt his finger enter me slightly. “What are you doing?”

“I’m just seeing how tight you are,” he groaned. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Hurt me?”

“When I enter you for the first time.” He smiled gently. “I’m using my finger to see how wet you are and how tight you are. When I enter you, it’s going to hurt a little bit.”

“Oh.” I trembled slightly.

“Don’t worry. I’ll make it as pain free as possible. Part of that is my making you as wet as possible.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Now relax.” He groaned and pushed me back down.

I felt his face between my legs, and I lay there still as a rock in anticipation. I never could have predicted how good it was going to feel. His tongue felt warm against me, and he licked me up and down as if he were a puppy lapping up milk. I felt my legs clenching on his face as my body trembled and shook. I was not prepared for the rush I felt when his tongue entered me. I’d thought his finger had felt good, but his tongue was something else altogether. It was warm and hard and soft all at the same time.

Hudson seemed to be enjoying it as well, grunting as he licked me and teased me. I was sad when he withdrew his tongue from me, but then he started sucking on a sweet spot and I knew I couldn’t stop what was about to happen.

“Oh, Hudson!” I screamed, reaching down and grabbing his head as I felt myself having my first orgasm. “Ooooh!” I screamed as I felt the heaviness down low erupting onto his face.

“Oh, Riley, you taste so sweet,” he groaned and held my thighs as he licked me. I moaned as he kissed back up my legs and then kissed me on the lips. “I can’t hold back any longer,” he muttered and reached over to the bag, removing a box. I watched as he pulled out a packet and ripped it open.

“Can I?” I whispered as he was about to place the condom on the tip of his penis.

“Okay.” He guided my hand. I rolled the rubber onto his hard shaft, and he groaned as my fingers ran down him. “Are you trying to make me come?” He groaned and pushed me back down. “I’m going to go slow,” he whispered. “I’m going to go slow so it doesn’t hurt.”

I nodded and lay back, opening my legs wide.

He entered me slowly and sweetly. I cried out when it hurt slightly, and he looked at me in concern. I nodded at him to keep going, and he pushed into me farther and harder until he was all the way inside of me. My fingers found their way to his back, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Hudson increased his movements and his pace, and I felt as if my body were becoming one with his as he filled me with pleasure. Hudson groaned as he increased his pace even more. He opened his eyes and stared down into mine as he continued making love to me. I felt his body still for a moment and then he moved faster and faster before collapsing down on me.

“I love you, Riley,” he whispered as he rolled off of me and pulled me into his arms. “I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

“You didn’t.” I smiled at him and snuggled into him.

“Did you come?” he asked, and he stroked my breast.

“I don’t know.” I shook my head. “I didn’t come like before.”

“Oh no.” He looked upset. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It still felt good.”

“I want it to feel more than good.” He grinned and kissed me. “We’ll do it again so I can try again.”

“I won’t say no to that.” I smiled up at him and laughed as I felt his fingers between my legs again. “And I love you too.”

“I never want this night to end.” He stroked my hair and gazed into my eyes. “I never want to forget this night of magic.”

“Me either,” I whispered back at him. “Me either.”

I saw a light shining in the bag and realized that Hudson’s phone had just received a text message. I saw Clara’s name and my heart thudded in guilt.

“Promise me that we will always both treasure this moment,” Hudson continued, and I diverted my attention to him.

“I will never forget.” I pulled him towards me and kissed him hard, wrapping my arms and legs around him. I could hear his heart beating next to mine, and I allowed myself to melt into the moment.

* * *

That night had been the only night we’d ever made love. It had been the last night we’d ever spent with each other. I could still remember it like it was yesterday. I still held it close to me. I had hoped that the next time I saw Hudson we could pretend like nothing had ever happened. We could pretend like everything that had happened was a dream. I’d hoped we could go back to being friends. I knew that I could never hope for us to talk about love again. Not after our betrayal. What we had done was wrong and we had both paid for it. I just hadn’t realized I would be paying for it for the rest of my life.

Chapter 6

Hudson

Present Day

I walked into the gym feeling tense. It had been a couple of days since I had seen Riley and she hadn’t come back, but I wasn’t hopeful that I could avoid her forever. Not now that she was writing an article about the championships. I knew that I was probably going to see her again, but I didn’t want to. Well, that was a lie. I did want to, but I didn’t want to want to.

I pulled out my ringing phone as I walked to the weights. “Hey, what’s up?”

“How’s it going?” Luke sounded eager as he gushed down the phone. “Nick says you’re awesome, which I already knew of course.”

“It’s fine. What do you want?”

“Is that any way to speak to your best friend?”

I sighed. “I’m busy.”

“Well sorry, Mr. Trump.” He paused. “I saw Clara’s mom today at the grocery store.”

“And?”

“She was using food stamps.”

“Oh?”

“She had to put some food back because she didn’t have enough.” He continued. “I felt bad for her, but I only had twenty dollars. Nothing I could do, you know?”

“Yeah.” I bit my lower lip. “I guess she still hasn’t found a job.”

“I guess she planned on Clara always looking after her.”

“Yeah.” I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall. “That was the plan.”

“Anyways, I thought I would let you know.”

“Yeah.”

“Just in case you were thinking of backing out,” he continued. “You know, Clara would—”

“I gotta go, Luke.” I hung up the phone angrily and quickly walked to the locker room.

I slowly opened the door, wishing that I could wake up one day and be out of this nightmare. I paused as I opened the door and heard the other guys talking.

“She has a tight body,” I heard Justin say. “I’d love to bend her over and...”

“I’d take her in the shower.” Channing sounded gruff. “I’d fuck her so hard that she’d be begging me to stop.”

“She’d never fuck you.” Justin laughed. “She’s all over me.”

“She was staring at my cock yesterday like she wanted to go down on me right then and there.”

“You wish, Channing.” A couple of the guys started laughing. I could feel my heart racing as I listened to the guys.

“No, Riley wishes.” He laughed. “She’s begging for me to take her.”

I felt something in me explode as I heard him say her name. I rushed forward and grabbed hold of his collar, and pushing him into the locker.

“What the fuck are you saying about Riley?” I snarled in his face.

“Nothing that ain’t true.” Channing looked at me with hate in his eyes.

I tightened my grip. “What were you saying?”

“I said she wants to suck on my cock,” he said slowly while licking his lips.

“Shut the fuck up, you prick.” I couldn’t stop myself, and I felt my fist hitting his face.

“Or what, pussy?”

“Or I will fuck you up.”

I attempted to punch him again, but he blocked my fist and tried to knee me in the crotch. I pushed him back into the lockers again and brought my right hook up to his face again. He was too slow this time and took a blow to his eye. He looked at me angrily, and I felt him push me back. I tripped over the bench, and he took advantage of the fact that I was down to kick me in the ribs. He got two kicks in before I grabbed his leg and pulled him down to join me. I grabbed his face and smashed it into the ground as he kneed me in the crotch.

I didn’t feel any pain as he beat me up. All I could think about was how he’d disrespected Riley. I felt sick to my stomach that he could say such things about her and even sicker thinking about her with another man—especially him. I would kill him before I would let him touch her.

His words played around in my mind and I grew angrier. I started hitting him harder and then I felt his teeth sinking into my arm hard.

“Guys, stop!” Justin stood above us, and I could see the panic in his eyes. “Please stop! Come on, Channing. Leave Batman alone.”

“He started it,” Channing grunted out while attempting to hit me in the face. I turned over and pushed him onto his back before sitting on him and holding him down. “It’s not my fault that Riley wants me to fuck her brains out.”

“Shut up, you asshole!” I didn’t hesitate before I punched him in the mouth.

“Pussy!” He spat blood out at me and I held his arms down.

“What did you say?” I growled at him. My eyes burned into his, and he looked up at me in hate.

“I said, it’s not my—” He began and I made to hit him again when we were interrupted.

“Stop.” Riley ran into the locker room and stared at me for a few seconds before looking away. “Please stop.”

I watched as one of the other guys followed her into the other room and sighed. I wondered what he had told her. I stared down at Channing and wondered if I could chance hitting him one last time.

“Please, Hudson, stop.” Riley’s voice was soft, and I looked at her.

I wasn’t prepared for the feeling of want and desperation that filled me as I stared at her. I was about to get up when Channing whispered up at me.

“You may have won this one, but I’ll still have her screaming out my name as I fuck her.” He grinned at me as he licked his lips, and I found my fist crashing down into his face again.

“Hudson, no!” she screamed and ran over to me. I could see tears in her eyes. “Please, stop!”

“You need to leave, Riley.” I pushed her away from me. My arms were on fire where she touched me. All of a sudden, all I could think about was the night on the beach—the night I took her virginity. I could see her face as she purred up at me in pleasure. I could feel her supple breasts in my hand. I looked at her angrily as the feelings came back. “Get out of here!” I shouted at her and watched as she flinched.

“I’m not leaving.” She shook her head and stared at me. “You can’t make me.”

“You guys know each other?” Channing looked back and forth at us and then smiled an evil little smile. “That makes sense of course. It makes perfect sense.”

“I don’t know him.” Riley looked at me for a second and shook her head. I felt empty at her words.

“Riley, I’m...” I stopped and looked away from her. I didn’t know how to say the words.

I wanted to tell her that I was sorry, but that would mean I’d have to acknowledge everything that had happened. I didn’t want to even think about it. I was scared that if I went back down that road, old feelings would resurface. Feelings that I’d kept under wraps for the last four years. Riley was someone who couldn’t be in my life anymore. Not now that I had other responsibilities. I owed it to Clara.

“So, Riley, we’re all going to a camping trip next weekend because Nick wants us to bond. I was hoping you could come. What do you think?” Channing’s voice was smooth as he invited Riley on the trip, and I held my breath, hoping she would say no. She had to say no.

“That sounds good. Thank you.” Her voice was sweet and innocent, and I saw her quickly glance at me to see my reaction.

I ignored her stare and looked at Channing. He was pushing his tongue in and out, and I grabbed Riley by the arm and pulled her out of the room with me.

“What are you doing?” she cried out in surprise, but I ignored her and pulled her into the parking lot with me.

“What are you playing at, Riley?” I growled down at her, staring into her wide brown eyes.

“I’m not playing at anything.” She shook her head and paused. “I’m surprised you know me now though.”

“What?” I frowned as she trembled in my arms.

“You ignored me the other day.” She took a deep breath, and I could see tears in her eyes.

“Don’t cry, Riley.” I felt my heart breaking as I stared at her, and I pushed all the doubts out of my mind and leaned down to kiss her.

I couldn’t stop myself from tasting her lips again. I knew it was wrong. I knew I was going to pay, but I just couldn’t stop myself. I needed to hold her in my arms again, if only to remember everything I had lost due to my sinful ways.

Chapter 7

Riley

Present Day

The world has ended. That’s all I could think as Hudson kissed me. I was confused to feel his lips on mine. It was something I had never expected to feel again. There was nothing gentle about his embrace as his lips crushed down on mine.

“What are you doing?” I reluctantly pulled away from him. “What’s going on, Hudson?”

“I told you that you need to leave.”

“So you know me now?” I gazed into his eyes, and he took a step back and looked away.

“I’m sorry about the other day.” He sighed.

“Why were you fighting Channing?”

“That’s why I’m here, right? To fight.”

“That looked like a real fight.”

“They are all real. This isn’t fake fighting.”

“I know it’s not fake, but that didn’t look like you were fighting for the championship.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Of course not.” I rolled my eyes, hurt at his words.

“Why are you here, Riley?”

“I’m writing an article.”

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“Why? Because I’m a girl?”

“This is not the place for someone like you.”

“Someone like me?” I could feel the tears building up in my eyes again. I didn’t understand why he was being like this.

Where had my Hudson gone? This man in front of me was hateful and cold—something I’d never expected from him.

“Please don’t cry.” He stared at me with pained eyes and pulled me towards him. “I can’t stand it when you cry, Riley.”

“I’m not crying.” I shook my head and turned my face away from him. I felt his fingers on my cheeks wiping away my tears. “Don’t.” I looked at him angrily. “Don’t touch me.”

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head as his fingers moved to my lips, tracking them gently. “I’m sorry.” He bent down again and kissed me.

This time, his lips were soft and searching. He kissed me as if he were looking for something, and I kissed him back urgently. My hands found their way to his head and my fingers played with his hair as his tongue entered my mouth. I sucked on it eagerly, as if our deepening kiss would somehow fix everything. I felt his hands on my back, then on my stomach. His fingers caressed me. His touch made me feel alive.

Then his fingers made their way up to my breasts. At first, he was timid, but then it was as if something in him had snapped. His fingers squeezed my breasts eagerly and roughly as his tongue wrestled with mine. I could feel his breathing grow heavier. My own heart was beating fast, and I pressed myself against him. This was what I had been missing. This was what felt so right. This was where I belonged.

“No,” he gasped as my fingers ran down his chest and he pulled away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want this to happen. This can’t happen again, Riley.”

“I’m sorry.” I looked down, ashamed of myself.

“It’s not your fault.”

“Don’t hate me, Hudson.” I looked into his eyes, trying to convey all of my emotions in one glance. “I’m sorry about what happened.” It was the first time I had told him sorry, and I felt as if I were in that moment once again.

“It’s not your fault. I’m the sinner, Riley. I’m the one who has to pay.” His eyes looked at me bleakly.

I could feel the pain running through his veins. I could see the guilt. I recognized the sleepless nights in the bags under his eyes, and I sensed the hopelessness in his voice. It was the same pain and hopelessness I felt. It was the same guilt I experienced every night when I went to bed. Only I was the one to blame.

“It wasn’t your fault, Hudson.” I reached out to him, but he shook his head.

“I’m sorry. Please just go. Riley. Please. I can’t do this. I don’t want to see you.” He looked away from me, and I wanted to scream at him. How could he sound and look so casual as he ripped my heart out of my body?

“You don’t mean that,” I whispered, needing him to look at me.

“I’m sorry, Riley. I don’t know what you expected.” He glanced at me and looked away. “It’s been four years. We shouldn’t have seen each other again. I thought we’d never see each other again. I’m not a good man.” He stared at me then. I could see that his eyes were devoid of emotion. It was if he had lost a part of himself.

I watched him walk back into the gym and stood there for a few minutes, deciding what to do. I wanted to go back in, but I knew it was too soon. I wasn’t going to let him run me out again. The next time I went back to the gym, I was going to be in full control of my emotions.

It was obvious to me that Hudson hadn’t forgiven himself for that night, and that killed me. I wanted to tell him the truth, I wanted him to know my part, but I was scared that he would hate me more than he already did. I decided to go home and study instead. I needed to think about something other than Hudson. It was clear to me that we were never going to get back to that place.

* * *

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling, thinking about Hudson and the kiss. I hugged my pillow and tried not to scream as I daydreamed about him, my textbook on the bed next to me.

“Hey, what are you doing home?” Eden walked into my room with a surprised face.

“Needed to study.”

“I thought you were going to interview some of the guys. Don’t tell me that they figured out you have no clue already.”

“Very funny.” I laughed. “And they know I’m not an expert.”

“You told them?” She sat down on the bed next to me. “Tell me. Are there any hotties?”

“Hotties?”

“The guys! Any potential de-virginizers?” She giggled, and I rolled my eyes at her.

“No. Well, there is one guy, Justin. He seems nice, but who knows.”

“Ooh, Justin. I like the name. Is he a surfer?”

“Not a surfer.” I shook my head and she sighed.

“Of course not.” She lay back on my bed next to me. “Where did all the surfers go?”

“Hawaii?”

“Funny.” She giggled. “So tell me more. Why are these guys doing this? Aren’t they risking their lives?”

“I don’t know. Money, I guess.” I bit my lower lip and sat up. “I saw Hudson.”

“What?” Her eyes widened. “My brother, Hudson?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Weird.” She stared at me. “Where did you see him?”

“At the gym.”

“Oh?”

“He’s trying to enter the competition.”

“The fight?” She sat up then. “No shit.”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “He seemed pretty intense.”

“Yeah.” She sighed and leaned against the wall. “I guess he never really got over Clara.”

“Yeah.” I looked away, feeling bad.

“I spoke to Luke the other day,” she said slowly. “He said Clara’s mom is doing really badly. Like she might get evicted.”

My eyes widened. “Oh no.”

“I bet he wants to give her the money,” she continued. “What’s the prize again? A hundred grand?”

“A million dollars.”

Her jaw dropped. “Holy shit. That’s a lot of money.”

“Yeah.” I nodded and then peeked at her. “He looked like he was really down, Eden.”

“Oh, he’s always like that these days.” She shrugged.

“Do you ever think about that summer?” I asked her softly, not wanting to bring it up but needing to talk about it.

“Sometimes.” She nodded and sighed. “But honestly, I try not to.”

“I always think about that last night,” I continued. “If we had done something differently, what would have happened?”

“Yeah. If I hadn’t gone on that horrible date.” She made a face.

“Yeah, or if Hudson and I hadn’t gone out and left Clara at home.”

“We couldn’t have known, Riley.” Eden grabbed her hands. “We were only in high school.”

“But we knew she’d been drinking,” I continued, not able to stop.

“We thought she was sleeping.” Eden’s voice rose. “I’m sorry, but she was selfish. She had no business going to the bar by herself. Especially when she was already drunk.”

“Alcohol makes it so you can’t think properly.”

“She was an alcoholic. She did this to herself.” Eden grabbed her hands. “I know you’re sensitive, Riley, but her death wasn’t your fault. And it wasn’t Hudson’s either.”

“I know.” I looked down, unseeing and barely able to breathe. I was taken back to that night, and all I could think about was lying naked in his arms, kissing him, touching him, loving the feel of him next to me.

It had been so sweet, so so sweet. Yet it had ended in tears. We’d stayed out all night and we’d gone back home in the early hours of the morning. Everything had fallen apart as soon as we saw the cop cars in front of the house. It was as if we both knew before we’d even been told. I could remember that night as clearly as if it had happened yesterday.

“Oh, Hudson!” Eden had run out of the house and into his arms. Her face was red with tears and she didn’t even notice how we stepped apart quickly. She didn’t notice that I was wearing his shirt. She didn’t notice that our bodies were glowing. She didn’t notice that Hudson and I had made love all night under the stars. She didn’t notice because none of that mattered. Not after the tragedy that had occurred. “What’s wrong?” Hudson had asked the words but I think we both knew.

“It’s Clara,” she whispered. “She’s dead.”

“Riley, are you okay?” I felt Eden shaking my shoulder, and I looked up at her unblinking.

“Yeah, sorry. What did you say?”

“Are you thinking about it?”

“Yeah.” I nodded and swallowed. “I was thinking about it.”

“She was driving drunk. She was irresponsible.” Eden grabbed my shoulders. “Look at me, Riley. This wasn’t our fault. She should have known better. She shouldn’t have driven drunk.”

“I know.” I felt sick to my stomach and rolled away from her. “Do you think I can be by myself right now?” I whispered. “I don’t feel well.”

“Okay.” Eden stood up, and I listened to her as she walked to the door. “You can’t blame yourself, Riley. You didn’t know.”

I lay there for about thirty minutes, staring at the wall blankly. My brain was void of thoughts and my heart was void of emotion as I thought back to that night again.

Dead, dead, dead. I could still hear the words in my ears. So unfamiliar, so unreal. How could she die? She wasn’t supposed to die. She was supposed to ask someone for a ride home. She wasn’t supposed to drive drunk.

My stomach started churning as I allowed myself to go down the dark road of that night again. The one night that had been the best and worst of my life. I closed my eyes and pictured Hudson’s face, so handsome, so caring, and so loving. He’d loved me. I knew that now. He’d always loved me. Once upon a time. And I’d loved him. How could I not? He’d been my protector, my friend, the boy who’d taught me to kiss. The boy who’d always cared about me.

And he was handsome. Oh was he handsome. When I looked at him, my heart did a million flips. I could barely control my breathing when I was close to him. I’d dreamed of him for years. I’d always wanted a chance. Waited for him to realize he wanted me. And then he’d brought Clara with him. Clara, a beautiful, wonderful girl. Clara, who was to become the first girlfriend of his that I had ever met. I’d hated her on sight. How could I not? How could you not hate the woman who was with the boy you’d always wanted? But I’d tried to hide my hate. And I’d tried to stay away from him.

Until that last night. That last night I’d had a shot of vodka and gained some liquid courage. That night I’d thrown caution to the wind. And it had been marvelous. Making love to Hudson had set my heart and body on fire; I’d never known it could be like that. So sweet and hot and sexual. I hadn’t known that there were tastes and feelings that could make my body pulse with such pleasure that I didn’t want it to end. And I hadn’t wanted it to end.

As I had lain in his arms, soaking him in, I hadn’t wanted the night to end. And that was why I’d deleted the text messages. I could still see them clearly. The messages and the missed calls. “Hudson, come pick me up at the bar. I’m drunk.”

I hadn’t even hesitated as I’d pressed delete so quickly and casually. I wasn’t going to let her ruin my night. It was supposed to be our night. It was supposed to be about me and Hudson. I didn’t want him to feel guilty. I didn’t want him to think about her. He was going to dump her. He didn’t love her.

I’d been childish and selfish and jealous, but it didn’t even matter because I had still lost Hudson. And I’d cost Clara her life. And the guilt of what I’d done continued to consume me. I knew I needed to tell Hudson the truth. He had to know that it was my fault that Clara was dead. I was the reason he hadn’t gone to pick her up. Only I was scared. I was scared that not only would Hudson stop talking to me forever, but that he would hate me forever as well.

Chapter 8

Hudson

Present Day

I sat at the back of the bus by myself. I was angry that Riley had shown up, but I tried to tell myself I didn’t care. I’d made a mistake kissing her the other day. I shouldn’t have kissed her. I’d seen the look of shock in her eyes. The fear and the pain. She was disgusted by me. She probably thought I couldn’t keep it in my pants. I was like every other guy. I let sex guide me. I let lust guide me. I wasn’t an honorable man. I was a killer.

I clenched my fist as I sat back, watching Riley laughing and talking with Justin. Though, I was glad it wasn’t Channing. I would have killed Channing if he even thought about talking to her. She looked beautiful of course. When she’d arrived, she’d given me a scared look, as if she’d thought I was going to shout at her and tell her to leave. I’d been angry to see her of course. However, another part of me had been excited. Really excited.

I listened to her laugh, and a part of me was warmed by the sound. I groaned softly to myself. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be near her. I didn’t deserve to be.

I closed my eyes and tried not to stare at Riley like some creep. Instead, images of her filled my brain—images of happier moments in time.

* * *

“Hudson, wanna go fishing?” Riley’s ten-year-old voice was eager as she walked into my room.

I shook my head. “Not really.”

“Oh.” She came and sat on my bed. “What are you doing?”

“I’m studying.” I sighed, not wanting to be bothered by her.

“What are you studying?”

“Botany,” I lied.

“What’s that?” She made a face and reached for my book.

“Plant stuff.” I grabbed my book up to my chest. “Why don’t you go and bother Eden?” I snapped.

“What?” She frowned and looked at me with sad eyes.

“Nothing,” I sighed, feeling bad but still holding my book close to my chest.

“Why are you so mean?”

“Why are you so annoying?”

“Because I’m the boss.”

“Boss of who?” She looked around.

“The boss of you. Duh.”

“You’re not the boss of me.”

“Yeah, I am.” I raised an eyebrow. “Go and get me some water.”

“No.” She shook her head.

“Go and get some water and I’ll take you fishing.”

“Really?” She looked at me eagerly.

“Yeah,” I grinned at her. “Sure.”

“Okay.” She jumped off of the bed, ran to the door, and stopped.

“Go and get me my water, minion.” I laughed and lay back. “I told you I’m the boss.”

“I saw the boob in your botany book.” She raised an eyebrow at me and grinned. “Happy studying, Hudson.” She giggled and ran out of the room as my face went red.

Shit! I threw the book and the Playboy magazine it was supposed to be hiding on my bed.

“Riley!” I screamed as I ran out of my room.

“Yes, boss?”

“Don’t tell my mom.” I glared at her as she giggled. She was a pain in the ass.

“Yes, boss.”

“Stop calling me boss.”

“Yes, boss.”

“You’re so annoying.” I glared at her. “Don’t tell anyone or I’ll never take you fishing again.”

“Uh huh.” She smiled, and I rubbed the top of her head and walked back to my room.

* * *

I opened my eyes then, feeling sad. I missed having Riley in my life. She’d always been a pain in the ass, but she’d always been someone close to my heart. I supposed in a way it had been inevitable that we fell in love. She’d always had a piece of my heart from the very first time I’d met her.

I watched as Riley turned her head slightly and looked at me, and I looked away quickly. I sat there for a few seconds and then looked back to the front. Riley was no longer looking at me, but Channing’s gaze was on me with a knowing look. It took everything I had to not get up and punch the smug look off his face.

This weekend was supposed to be about bonding, and while I had no intentions of bonding with Channing, I didn’t want to let anyone know that before we’d even arrived at the campsite.

I sighed as I realized that I was going to have to interact with Riley once we got there. There was no way I could just ignore her. I had to learn to get a handle on my emotions and feelings. I had to be prepared for the looks I was sure she would be getting from every guy on the trip. I knew that there was no way that all the other guys would be able to ignore her. She was beautiful and nice and kind and sexy.

I jumped up and walked to the front of the bus, before I could stop myself.

I tapped Riley on the shoulder. “Hey.”

She looked at me in surprise. “Hi.” Her eyes were curious, and I saw a flash of excitement in them, but she didn’t smile at me.

“I was wondering if we could talk.”

She frowned. “You want to talk to me?”

“That’s what I said,” I huffed, annoyed that she hadn’t gotten up already.

“What about?”

“Yeah, what about, Batman?” Justin chimed in, and I tried my hardest to keep my mouth shut. I liked Justin and didn’t want to have to smack him.

“Riley.” I said her name softly, and she gazed up into my eyes. We stared at each other for a few seconds and then she stood up.

“Fine.” She followed me to the back of the bus, and I heard Justin shouting after us.

“Don’t leave me, Riley,” he sang out, and a couple of the guys laughed.

“So?” She sat down in the back next to me, and I could see the question in her eyes.

“I wanted to just say hey.” I shrugged, feeling inadequate.

“You could have said hey while I was at the front.”

“I thought we could talk.”

“About what?” She leaned back and looked at me expectantly.

“Maybe we can be friends?” I felt awkward saying the words. This was a girl I loved. This was the girl whose virginity I had taken, yet here I was, asking her to be friends like we were strangers.

“Sure.” She nodded and looked down.

“I’m sorry for ignoring you the other day.”

“You already told me that.”

“I’m sorry that I told you to leave.”

“I understand why.”

“I’m sorry I kissed you.”

“I’m not,” she whispered, and I looked at her in shock. My heart started beating fast as she stared into my eyes.

“Sorry, what?”

“I’m not sorry you kissed me.” She bit her lower lip, and I could see the confusion in her eyes. “It was nice.”

“Riley,” I groaned. I didn’t need this right now. I didn’t want her to tell me that she’d enjoyed kissing me. I couldn’t hear that.

“Hudson.” Her voice cracked. “It’s not your fault that Clara died.” She stared into my eyes, and in that instant, I felt like I was back at the scene. She had the same look in her eyes that I’d had when we saw the cops outside the house.

I was ashamed of the first thoughts I’d had when I’d seen the cops. I was mad. I was mad that our perfect evening was being ruined. I’d wanted it to be so special. I’d wanted every moment of it to be picture perfect. But of course, how could it have been? I’d been a guy with a girlfriend. It didn’t matter that I’d been about to end it. The fact was that I hadn’t ended it, yet I had still slept with Riley.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I shook my head, and she grabbed my hand.

“I need to tell you something.” Her voice cracked and I shook my head again.

“No. This isn’t the time.”

“Do you hate me?” Her voice drifted into my ears, and it felt so strange to hear it. I’d grown up listening to that voice, but now it sounded distant. It was surreal.

“I could never hate you.” I took her hand in mine. “You know that, right? You’ll always be my little squirt.”

“You just stopped talking to me.”

“I’m sorry.” I sat back and took a deep breath. “I took advantage of you. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You didn’t take advantage of me.”

“I never should have encouraged you to skinny dip.”

“Hudson, stop it.” She shook her head angrily. “I wanted you to.”

“I should have waited. I should have made it more special. It wasn’t right. We shouldn’t have made love that night.”

“So you regret it?”

“Yes.” I nodded and stared into her eyes. “I regret it.”

A dart of pain shot through me as I lied. This is why you’re evil and destined for hell, Hudson, an inner voice said to me. You don’t regret it at all. You’ve never regretted it. It’s the only thing that makes you happy. It’s the memory you look back at when you feel down and depressed.

Making love to Riley was the highlight of my life. That night was everything to me. I held it close to my heart. It made me feel. And I lived with that guilt every single day of my life. The best moment of my life happened right before Clara died. And I just couldn’t live with myself for that.

“I see.” Her voice cracked and she jumped up.

“Where are you going?” I grabbed her arm, loath to see her walk away.

“I’m going back to my seat.”

“Oh.” I dropped my arm.

“It was good talking to you.” She offered me a weak smile.

“Friends again?” I held out my hand, and she looked at it for a second before taking it.

“Okay, friends again.” We shook hands weakly, and I watched her walk back to the front of the bus.

I felt my heart breaking once again. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through this weekend. And to be completely honest, I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through the rest of my life.

* * *

I went for a run in the woods to try and calm myself down. I’d been pissed when I saw Channing and Riley place their sleeping bags next to each other. I’d seen him grinning at me as he put his bag down next to hers, and I’d wanted to punch him hard. He was a jackass, and I knew he was deliberately trying to wind me up.

“Save your energy for the fight,” I whispered to myself as I ran. That’s all I could tell myself.

I couldn’t afford to make a wrong step and not get the opportunity to attend the championships. I needed to win the million dollars. I needed to support Clara’s mom since I knew that was her greatest wish, and I also wanted to give money to Jamilah’s mom. I was worried about her.

I’d seen her right before the fight, and she’d looked stressed. I knew that she was leaving the kids at home while she went to work, but what could I say? I knew she needed the money, and I tried to babysit whenever I could. It broke my heart that Jamilah and Marcus were left alone so many nights, but I didn’t know what I could do without interfering. If I won the million dollars, maybe Jamilah’s mom could look for a new job and get someone to help her watch the kids.

I stopped by a tree trunk, sweat dripping down my face. I felt like I had a world of worries on my shoulders, but all I could think about was Riley. I wondered what she was doing at that very moment. I sighed and sat on the ground as I tried to sort out my thoughts. I stilled as I heard footsteps approaching me.

“Thanks for agreeing to walk with me.” Channing’s voice sounded smarmy, and I frowned.

“No worries,” Riley replied, and I froze. What was she doing with him?

“You’re so pretty.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re single right?”

“Yes.”

No, I wanted to shout, she’s not single! She’s mine! But I just remained still and clenched my fists.

“Good, I’m single as well.”

“Oh nice.” Riley’s voice sounded uncertain, and I was annoyed at her. I didn’t know why she wasn’t shutting him down right away.

“We should go on a date when we get back.”

“Okay,” she replied, and it took everything I had to not run out and grab her.

“What do you like to do?”

“To do?”

“On dates?”

“Oh, lots of stuff.”

“Do you like riding?” Channing’s voice was soft, and I felt my blood boiling.

“Riding?” Riley sounded confused.

“Yeah, I love girls that love to ride,” Channing laughed, and I stood up, ready to go and hit him.

“I can’t say I’ve ever been. I’ve never really been around horses,” she replied, and I smiled.

“Do you like dogs?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I love doggie style.”

“Excuse me?” Her voice rose and I could hear the shock in her tone.

“I’m joking,” Channing replied smoothly, and I knew that he was trying to play it smooth.

I wasn’t sure if he really liked her or if he was playing with her to try to get to me, but I knew that there was no way I was going to let him sleep next to her tonight. I knew he would try and pull something. I didn’t trust him at all and I wasn’t going to just wait to see what happened.

I waited until they had walked some more and then I ran back to the camp. Most of the other guys were sitting around drinking beers. I walked over to the bags, quickly grabbed Riley’s sleeping bag, and ran off. I ran deep into the woods and threw it behind some rocks before running back.

“Hudson, want a Bud Light?” Justin called out to me, and I nodded.

“Thanks.” I took it and sat next to him. “Looks like this should be a fun weekend,” I said casually.

“Yeah, it should be cool.” He nodded. “You and Channing going to be okay?”

“Why shouldn’t we be?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged.

“I have no problem with him,” I lied.

“Oh okay.” Justin chugged some of his beer, and it looked like he was about to say something when Channing and Riley arrived back to the camp. “Hey, guys. You want a beer.”

“Of course.” Channing ran over and grabbed a beer. I watched as Riley followed him slowly and took one.

“Are you sure about that, Riley?” I frowned at her and she blushed.

“Yes.” She opened the tab and took a long gulp.

“Fine.” I shook my head and looked away from her. “So what’s the plan for tonight, guys?”

“I thought I’d have an early night.” Channing grinned at me. “You never can be too prepared.”

“Prepared for what?” Justin asked him.

“People screaming or shouting.” Channing stared at me. “Or scratching and sucking.”

“What?” Justin looked confused, and Channing turned around and laughed. “Nothing.”

Fucking asshole, was all I could think as I stared at his cocky face.

“I’m going to go and change.” Riley looked at me for a second and then walked over to the bags. “Shit!” she cried out, and I saw her pacing around. I stayed where I was, not wanting her to get suspicious if I jumped up too quickly. “Hey, guys, has anyone seen my sleeping bag?” She walked up to us, her face a deep red. “It’s missing.”

“It can’t be missing.” I frowned.

“Well, it’s no longer there,” she snapped back at me.

“Are you sure?” I asked slowly, giving her a look.

“Yes, I’m sure.” She glared at me, and I bit back a smile.

“Let me see.” I jumped up and walked to the sleeping bags with her. “I don’t see it.”

“That’s what I just said.”

“What are you going to do?”

“What do you mean, what am I going to do?” She glared at me. “I don’t have many choices, do I? I guess I’ll sleep on the ground.”

“Okay.” I shrugged and turned away. Then I stopped and turned back to her. “You can share my bag.”

“What?” Her eyes widened and she shook her head. “I can’t do that.”

“I have a double. It’ll be fine.”

“I can’t sleep in the same bag as you.”

“Why not? Would you rather be in Channing’s bag?” I shot at her jealously.

“No.” Her eyes narrowed at me. “Not at all.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I can’t.” She looked away from me.

“We’re friends, right?” I took a step towards her and waited for her to look up at me.

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“Then share my bag with me. I’m not going to have you sleeping on the ground.” Or with Channing.

“Fine.” She nodded. “I’ll try and keep to my side.”

“Good.” I nodded back at her.

“Good.” I watched as she swallowed.

I couldn’t stop myself from staring at her body. I felt a tightening in my chest as I realized that I was going to be sharing a sleeping bag with her. What was I doing to myself? Was I a glutton for punishment?

“I’m going to go and shower,” she said slowly and I nodded.

“Fine.”

“I’m going to go to sleep early.” Her eyes searched mine. “I’ll probably be asleep by the time you get in the bag.”

“I’ll try not to disturb you.”

“Thanks.” She smiled weakly, and I turned away from her, walking back over to the guys.

I saw Channing giving me a look of hatred and I didn’t feel anything. If he only knew the reality of the situation. I hated myself at that moment as well.

Chapter 9

Riley

Present Day

I lay in the sleeping bag with my heart racing. I tried to count sheep to make myself fall asleep, but nothing was working. I just couldn’t fall asleep. My body was on edge waiting for Hudson to get into the bag with me. I wasn’t sure what had happened to my own bag, but I felt like this was some sort of sick retribution for the secret I was keeping. It was going to be the sweetest kind of hell sharing a sleeping bag with Hudson—having him so close to me, yet so far. It wasn’t like I would be able to touch him or kiss him. Not like I wanted to. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths to ensure that I didn’t start crying. That was the last thing I needed.

“Night, Hudson,” I heard Justin say before walking back to the campsite.

“See you in the morning.” Hudson’s voice was smooth, and I shivered. This was it; he was on the way back to the sleeping bag.

I squeezed my eyes tight and lay there curled up. I heard him stop next to the bag, but I wasn’t sure what he was doing. I felt like I’d waited for over an hour for him to finally get into the sleeping bag, but I knew it had only been a couple of minutes, if that.

I froze as I felt him sliding his body into the sleeping bag. He moved very slowly, and I guessed that was because he didn’t want to wake me up. His arm brushed against mine and it left a trail of fire on my skin. I waited to see how he would settle in the bag and was disappointed when he lay back and left distance between us. I pretended to yawn and rolled over so that I was closer to his body. He stilled as I crashed into him. I kept my eyes closed but moved my hand over his waist.

“Riley?” he whispered, but I kept my eyes closed. I felt his arm move around my waist, and I moved in closer to him, pretending to still be asleep. I gasped inwardly as I felt my hand touch his naked chest. My eyes peeked open to confirm that he had no shirt on. “Riley,” he whispered again, and I felt his hands on my face. I looked up at him slowly and saw a smile on his face. “Did I wake you up?”

“No.” I shook my head and made a face.

“Am I making you hot?”

“No.” I shook my head again. “In fact, you’re warming me up. I was a little cold.”

“Oh, well we can’t have you lying there cold.” He put both his arms around me then and pulled me closer to him. I shifted my legs and found them rubbing up against his. “I love the feel of your smooth legs against my hairy ones,” he whispered in my ear, and I giggled.

“You could have smooth legs too.”

“Are you telling me to shave them?” He made a face, and I shook my head.

“I’d never say that.” I ran my fingers against his chest hair. “That’s what makes you a man.”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “My chest hair makes me a man?”

“Not just your chest hair.”

“Oh good, I was about to say. I thought it was my dick that made me a man.”

“Hudson.” I pinched him and he chuckled.

“Sorry.” He stroked my hair and sighed. “This was a bad idea.”

“What was a bad idea?”

“Having you sleep with me.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to do so much more than sleep.” He looked at me then, but I didn’t know what to say to him. How could I tell him that I wanted to do more than just sleep with him as well? “Sorry. Did I upset you?”

“No.” I shook my head, and he sighed.

“I’ve missed you.” He gave me a sweet smile. “You look so beautiful. I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become.”

“I missed you too.” I bit my lower lip and stared into his eyes. “I’m sorry I came on this trip. I know you didn’t want me to.”

“I’m glad you came.”

“Why?” I asked in a hushed tone. My heart was thudding and I felt like I was getting a fever from being so close to him.

“Because I get to do this.” He leaned forward and kissed me, his eyes never leaving mine. His lips tasted salty, and I kissed him back. Our lips connected for a few seconds before he pulled back. “Sorry.” He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“I didn’t say no.”

He shook his head. “We shouldn’t do this again.”

“Fine.” I pulled away from him slightly. I was hurt. I was so into him, and I wanted to touch him again so badly, but he just seemed to want to push me away.

“Don’t be upset.” He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me towards him. “What are you doing to me, Riley?”

“Nothing,” I mumbled, frustrated and confused.

“I want to kiss you again,” he sighed, and I felt his fingers running up and down my back.

“You can kiss me again.”

“No.” He shook his head. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” I asked, disappointed.

“I want to do more than kiss you, Riley. I want to hold you and touch you. I want to feel you. I want to make love to you.” He groaned as I grabbed his hand and placed it on my breast. “What are you doing to me?”

“I want to make love to you as well,” I whispered against his lips. “I want to taste and feel you, too.”

“We can’t do this.” He shook his head. “I’m not good for you.”

“Let me decide that.” I licked his lips.

“Riley,” he groaned. “You don’t know how badly I want this to happen, but I can’t. I just can’t.”

“Don’t you like me?” I whispered, hurt.

“Don’t you get it?” His fingers gripped my chin and made me look at him. “I more than like you, Riley. I’ve always liked you. But look what happened. What we did. What I did. I don’t deserve you. I have things I have to do.”

“I heard about Clara’s mom.” I traced the lines under his eyes. “I know why you’re entering the fight.”

“She nearly got evicted.” He closed his eyes. “It’s my fault.”

“That’s not your fault.”

“Clara was going to take care of her.” He eyes looked bleak. “She was going to become a doctor so that she could help people and make enough money to support her mom.”

“She was a good person.”

“She had issues. We all do.” He sighed. “She liked to drink. I knew that. That always hits me. I knew she was drunk that night.” He shook his head, and his voice sounded angry. “I knew she wanted to go to the bar. I should have stayed.”

“I’m the one who convinced you to leave.” I bit my lower lip. “It was my fault.”

“Never say that.” He shook his head. “It was not your fault.”

“Hudson, I’ve got something to tell you.” I took a deep breath and was about to tell him about the text message I’d deleted when his lips found mine again.

This time, they were hard and passionate. His tongue slipped into my mouth eagerly, and my fingers ran up and down his back. He groaned against me, and I pushed my legs between his. He was wearing a pair of boxer shorts, and I felt his hardness against my leg. I reached down and slipped my fingers into his shorts and he gasped. He pulled away from me slightly with a question in his eyes.

I leaned towards him and kissed him again as he pushed me onto my back. His fingers slipped under my t-shirt, and he groaned as he realized that I wasn’t wearing a bra.

“Oh, Riley, what are you doing to me?” he muttered against my lips, and I ran my fingers down his hardness, holding him in my hands softly and squeezing him gently. My fingers ran to the tip of him, and I felt his body tremble as I reached down and tugged on his balls. “I love the way you taste,” he groaned as he kissed my neck and sucked on the skin, giving me a hickey. His fingers played with my nipples, and I moaned as I felt his hands moving south. “I wish I could see you,” he whispered in my ears.

“You can see me,” I whispered back.

“I mean I wish I could see all of your body,” he groaned. “I want to suck on your nipples right now.”

“Oh!” I gasped as his fingers slipped into my shorts and worked their way into my panties. “Ohhh, Hudson.”

“We have to be quiet.” He pressed his lips against mine. “We don’t want anyone to know what we’re doing.”

“Do you think they suspect?”

“I don’t care.” He half-laughed. “They can suspect what they want.”

“You don’t like them, do you?” My back arched as his fingers gently rubbed me. “Oh, Hudson.” I squeezed my legs together, and his eyes blazed into mine.

“They mean nothing to me.” He kissed me. “Nothing at all.”

“I see.” I closed my eyes and then stilled as I felt him gently pulling my panties down. “What are you doing?”

“What do you think?” He grinned and licked his lips.

“Can we do this?” I whispered back, very much wanting to do it.

“It’s up to you.” He looked at me, and I lay back, pulled my panties and shorts completely off, and stared back at him. “Are you sure?”

I looked at him and nodded. “Yes, are you?”

“I shouldn’t,” he groaned. “There are so many reasons why I shouldn’t, but I don’t think I can say no.”

“None of the reasons are good ones.” I pulled my t-shirt off and pressed my breasts against him. He groaned and pulled his boxer shorts down.

“You have to turn around,” he whispered softly.

“Why?”

“Because I’m going to have to do you from behind.” His voice was hoarse. “If I’m on top of you or if you’re on top of me, it will be too obvious.”

“Oh.” I blushed, feeling stupid. “I didn’t think about that.”

“We’ll have to spoon. Turn around,” he commanded, and I rolled over. He immediately put his arms around me and pulled me back into him. “Oh, God, what are we doing?” he groaned, and I felt his hardness against my ass.

His fingers played with my stomach before moving up and grabbing my breasts. He squeezed my nipples hard, and I moved my ass back against him. His left hand then reached down between my legs, and he groaned again.

“You’re so wet,” he muttered, his voice deep, and I trembled as he played with me. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to just experience the familiar and wonderful feelings that were flowing through me. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he whispered in my ear as he lifted one of my legs up. “Back your ass up a bit and move forward slightly,” he commanded without waiting for an answer.

I shifted slightly and felt him move his cock between my legs. He rubbed the tip up against me and I gasped.

“I’m sure. Please, Hudson. I want this. I need this.” I pushed back against him and he groaned.

“I don’t have a condom,” he muttered into my ear.

“I don’t mind,” I moaned, not caring and not thinking.

“I haven’t been with anyone,” he whispered. “Not since you.”

“Neither have I,” I whispered back, and I felt his body freeze.

“So I’m the only one you’ve ever been with.”

“Yes,” I whispered and shivered. I wanted to tell him that he was the only one I’d ever wanted to be with.

“Oh.” His fingers rubbed me gently, and I felt my body trembling as he teased me. “Is it horrible that I take such pleasure in knowing that?”

“No,” I mumbled, delighting in the feel of his fingers against me.

“I’ll pull out,” he grunted in my ear. “To be careful.”

“Okay.” I nodded, not caring, not thinking. He could have told me anything in that moment and I would have agreed. I could feel the tip of him rubbing against me and I just wanted him inside me.

“Are you okay with that?” His fingers increased their pace and slipped inside me. “It’s still a risk.”

“I don’t care,” I moaned. “Please, Hudson.”

“We shouldn’t do this,” he groaned as I had my first orgasm and my walls closed in on his fingers.

“Please, Hudson,” I moaned and reached behind me. “I want to.”

“I can’t say no to you.” He kissed my head and pushed me back. His cock entered me slowly, and I nearly cried out as he moved inside me. “You feel so good, even better than I remembered.” He grabbed my hips and moved slowly in and out of me. I moved my hips back and forth, trying to meet his thrusts as much as possible, and I could hear his heavy breathing behind me. “Oh, Riley,” he groaned into my ear as he played with my breasts. “Being in you feels like home.”

“Shh.” I trembled as he started moving faster. I grabbed his hand, moving it down between my legs, and I heard his chuckle as he started rubbing me as he slid in and out of me.

“You know what you like,” He grunted.

“Yes,” I groaned as I felt my orgasm building up. I was on the edge of coming when he stilled.

“I have to pull out now,” he muttered and slowed down.

I groaned and shook my head. “Please, not yet.”

“I can’t stop myself,” he groaned as I closed my legs and backed into him. “I’m going to come.”

“Please, not yet,” I moaned passionately. “I’m so close.”

“I’ll have to go slow.” His fingers started rubbing me quickly as his cock started moving slowly. His cock felt hard and deep in me, and I wiggled back against him and slowly moved my hips.

“No, Riley,” he whispered and grabbed my hips. “Please, stop for a second.”

“You guys okay?” Justin’s voice halted us both still and I froze as I saw him walking towards us.

“Yeah, why?” Hudson responded impatiently.

“Just heard you whispering. Thought you were arguing.” He looked down at us with squinty eyes. “Just wanted to make sure.”

“We’re fine,” Hudson grunted, and I tried not to laugh as I wiggled against him. His hand flew to my stomach to try and stop me from moving, but I couldn’t stop myself.

“Tomorrow should be fun, right?” Justin continued, and Hudson didn’t hold back his groan. “What did you say?” Justin asked.

“Nothing.” Hudson’s voice was hoarse, and I ground back into him. “Stop,” he hissed in my ear, but I couldn’t. I was too excited.

For some reason, I was feeling even hornier and turned on. I reached my hand between my legs and started playing with myself. Then I felt him sliding slowly in and out of me.

“You excited about the final fight?” Justin continued, and I nearly laughed.

“Yeah,” Hudson sighed, and I felt him increase his pace slightly.

“Okay, I guess you’re sleepy.” Justin sounded disappointed that Hudson hadn’t said more and walked away.

“Idiot,” Hudson whispered in my ear and I laughed. “You’re a bad girl, Riley.”

His fingers went to the front of me and he gasped as he realized I was pleasuring myself. His fingers met mine and I guided them along my sex. He started moving his cock in and out of me faster, and within a minute, I felt my muscles clenching down on him as I came.

“Oh shit.” Hudson grabbed my hips and slammed in and out of me, grunting into my shoulder as his body trembled. I felt his body still and he pulled out quickly. I felt his warm sperm on my legs and butt. “Shit,” he groaned as he lay back.

“What’s wrong?” I turned towards him and kissed him.

“I may have pulled out too late.” His eyes looked worried, and I stroked his face.

“It’ll be okay.”

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “I should have known better.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I don’t suppose you’re on the pill, are you?”

“I am.” I nodded and giggled at the look of confusion in his eyes. “My doctor prescribed it to help regulate my period.”

“Oh.” He sighed and then smiled. “You should have told me.”

“You never asked.” I smiled, and he growled.

“Come here.” He opened his arms and I snuggled into his chest. “You feel so soft and warm.”

“So do you.”

“I can’t believe we did this.” He shook his head and held me tight. “I didn’t deserve to get another night with you.”

“Maybe we’re just meant to be together.”

“I don’t deserve you.” He buried his face into my neck. “I don’t deserve to be happy.”

“Everyone deserves to be happy,” I said sleepily as I closed my eyes.

“Sinners don’t,” he whispered next to me as I fell asleep.

I heard someone’s phone ringing as I slept, but I was so exhausted and happy that I didn’t bother opening my eyes. I didn’t even stir when Hudson got out of the sleeping bag. I knew that he was just going to the bathroom or something. I lay on that sleeping bag content as could be, all worries gone from my mind. Everything is going to be okay, I thought to myself as I hugged my secret in. Everything is going to be okay.

It took me about thirty minutes to realize that I was wrong. My eyes popped open and I lay there feeling worried and alone. Hudson hadn’t come back from his bathroom trip. I looked to the side and realized that his bag was gone. He’d left me. He’d gone. Everything in my world was black again. Once again, I was the girl who had killed his girlfriend or was at least responsible for her death and I was never going to be able to stop paying for it.

Chapter 10

Hudson

Present Day

The bus stop was in a desolate location. A location that fit my mood. I stood there waiting with panic and anxiety running through my veins, though it was the guilt that pervaded me the most. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called the hospital.

“Mercy Hospital, how may I direct your call?”

“I’m calling to check on a patient,” I quickly said into the phone.

“Sir, we can’t give out privileged information over the phone.”

“Jamilah Brown is her name!” I shouted. “I need to know if she’s okay!”

“Sir, I’m afraid you will have to come into the hospital.”

“What do you think I’m trying to do?” I shouted and hung up the phone angrily. I felt sick to my stomach as I stood there. If Jamilah didn’t make it, I would never forgive myself.

I wondered what I should have done to prevent this. I’d told Jamilah not to swim in the pool by herself. She’d promised me that she wouldn’t do it. Should I have told her mom? I hadn’t wanted her to get banned from swimming altogether, and she had promised me. She’d promised me she wouldn’t go without me.

But you can’t be there all the time, Hudson.

I closed my eyes as I thought about her in the pool. She’d gotten a cramp, her mom had said when she’d called crying. She’d gone swimming late at night and gotten a cramp in her legs in the deep end. She’d swallowed a lot of water. She’d nearly drowned. My heart stopped for a moment. I didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t know if she was okay. If she died, I didn’t know what I would do.

It’s a sign, a voice whispered inside of me. It’s a sign that you shouldn’t be with Riley.

Every time I slept with her, something bad happened. I knew the universe was telling me that I didn’t deserve her. She was too pure and innocent for me. She was good, while I was bad. That didn’t mean I would stop loving her. It just meant I had to start resisting her.

Making love to her tonight had been like heaven on earth. It had felt even better than the first time. I’d felt like I’d gone home again. She’d fit against me so perfectly. For a few minutes, everything in my life had seemed like it was going to be okay. If I closed my eyes and stood perfectly still, I could still smell her. That smell of sex and sin mixed together made my blood boil over. I hadn’t known that one woman could affect me so deeply. I knew in my heart that there would never be anyone else for me. Riley was the one. She had always been the one. I felt tears rolling down my eyes as I realized I had to let her go.

The bus pulled up around twenty minutes later and I jumped on it, making my way to a window seat. I stared out the window and wondered what it was I had done wrong in life to put me in this position. Then I felt mad because I was feeling sorry for myself. I still had my life. I still had my family. I’d had a pretty charmed life growing up.

My thoughts turned to Jamilah and the life she had being a latchkey kid, having to look after her brother. I should have done more. I could have tried harder. I should have been there for her. My heart thudded as I thought about her eager face and smile. All she wanted was to make it to the Olympics. We’d all had dreams like that at one point in time. I just wished she hadn’t gone in that pool at night. If only I hadn’t gone on the camping trip, then I could have been at home and taken her to the pool myself. I could have taken care of her.

The bus ride seemed to take forever, but that’s how it always was when you needed to get somewhere important. The ride seemed slow or the traffic was always crazy. I ran from the bus stop to the hospital. I ran as fast as I could and I didn’t stop, even though it was about two miles away. I knew that I couldn’t be that close and wait for another bus.

I pulled out my phone and called Jamilah’s mom as I approached the hospital. The sun was starting to rise, and I knew that Riley and the guys would be wondering where I had gone. A flash of guilt flooded me when I realized that Riley would be left with those vultures, but I knew she could take care of herself. I was scared that she wouldn’t talk to me again. I felt that I’d committed the ultimate betrayal by sleeping with her and leaving her by herself.

“Hudson!” Jamilah’s mom cried into the phone.

“Where are you? I’m at the hospital.”

“We’re in the ER,” she cried, and I felt my heart pounding as I walked quickly to find her.

I navigated the corridors in a cloud of fear as déjà vu hit me. I hated hospitals. They made me think of death. The last time I’d been in a hospital had been when Clara died and I’d never wanted to come back to one.

“Hudson,” Marcus called out to me in a soft voice as I walked into the emergency room’s waiting area. He looked small and worried as he sat there next to his sobbing mother. Tears were furiously rolling down her face, and as she looked up at me with small red eyes, I felt my feet freeze.

“How is she?” I asked after a few seconds, all the blood having drained from my face as I looked into her bleak eyes.

“She nearly drowned.”

“Is she okay?” I held my breath, waiting for an answer, praying to God that she was okay.

“They said she’s going to be okay.”

I felt my heart start again. I walked over to her and put my arms around her, awkwardly trying to comfort her.

“I don’t know what I would have done!” she sobbed. “My baby. My little baby.” She cried into my shoulder, and I patted her back.

“When can we see her?”

“I don’t know.” She continued to cry, and I just held her. I rubbed her back and smiled at Marcus.

I didn’t want them to see my pain and worry. I wanted to be strong for them. I wanted them to know that they could count on me as a man. I hadn’t been there for Clara when she’d needed me. I hadn’t been there to help her. I hadn’t been there for her mother when she died. I hadn’t known what to say or what to do. How could I have faced her, knowing that I’d been with another woman the night she died? It seemed to me that no mother would want to hear that her daughter’s boyfriend was a dog. I didn’t think she wanted to hear that I’d been about to break up with her daughter either. She didn’t want to know that my dating Clara had been a mistake. That my heart had belonged to Riley since we were teenagers.

“I don’t know if I can take this again.” Jamilah’s mom jumped up. “How am I supposed to look after my kids and work? I can’t seem to do both. My poor babies. I just don’t know what to do.”

“It’ll be okay.”

“How?” She shook her head. “I can’t seem to find another job. I can’t keep leaving my babies at home while I go to work. I can’t afford to pay someone. And I don’t take help from the government. I’m not some welfare mother. I may be a single mother, but I’m working hard to take care of my kids.”

“There’s no shame in accepting help when you need it. That’s what it’s for.”

“I don’t want to be that woman,” she sobbed. “I just don’t know what to do anymore. I try so hard, but every day it’s something else. Every day someone is trying to bring me down.”

“It’ll get better.” I didn’t want to tell her about the million dollars. What if I didn’t win?

“I’m scared.” She sighed and rubbed her eyes. “How am I supposed to raise two strong, intelligent babies if I’m never there?”

There was silence in the room as we sat there, and I felt Marcus grab my hand. I looked down at him, and he looked scared. There was a look in his eyes that I shouldn’t have seen in a young boy.

“I’ll help you as much as I can.”

“You got your own life, boy.” She shook her head but gave me a quick smile. “Thank you for offering though.”

“I mean it.” I rubbed Marcus’s back to try and get him to relax, and I realized that my words meant nothing without actions. I could say anything I wanted. Words were meaningless.

“Hi, Mrs. Brown?” A doctor walked in with a clipboard and I stood up. “You can come in and see Jamilah now. She’s a very lucky girl.”

“Thank you, doctor,” she sobbed. “Thank you.”

* * *

I left the hospital feeling slightly happier. I’d gotten to see and talk to Jamilah, and I had felt life come back into my soul when her eyes lit up when she saw me. I had hugged her and held her tight to me. I pulled my phone out and dialed the number I had memorized by heart even though I hadn’t called it in years.

“Hello.” Her voice was soft and hurt, and I felt terrible.

“It’s me.”

“I know.”

“Are you mad at me?” I asked stupidly.

“Where are you?”

“I had to leave.”

“I see.”

“You don’t, but that’s okay. I’m not the guy for you, Riley. I’m not good enough for you. I’ll never be good enough for you. I’m sorry that I took advantage of you.”

“You did not take advantage of me.” She sounded angry.

“I was supposed to be your protector, Riley. Not your lover. You deserve a man who’s upright. I’m not that man.” My voice cracked as my heart broke. “I need to amend for my sins.”

“Clara’s death is not your fault.”

“I should have been with her that night. I shouldn’t have left her. I shouldn’t have been with you. What I did was wrong.”

“We were both wrong, Hudson.” Her voice cracked. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine.”

“No. No, it’s not. You were caught up in the moment.”

“I deleted the text message, Hudson. She sent you a text message to come and get her and I deleted it. You didn’t know. Don’t you see? It’s my fault. I’m the one who stopped you from going to get her. If it weren’t for me being jealous, you would have gone to get her. She’d still be alive.”

I stopped dead at her words. I felt sick to my stomach and my face paled.

“Hudson, please don’t hate me. I’m so sorry. You have to know that I never would have deleted the messages if I’d known. I just wanted to be with you. I didn’t want you to leave. I’m the bad one here, not you. Please don’t close down or blame yourself anymore. If you’d known, you would have gone for her. If you’d seen that text, she’d still be alive. I’m so sorry, Hudson.”

I hung up the phone and let it drop to the ground. I felt like I couldn’t breathe or see. Everything in me had frozen at Riley’s words. She still believed in me after all that. That was what made me feel worse. That she still had complete and utter faith in me after everything.

I collapsed to the ground and slammed my fist into the concrete, screaming and shouting. I sat there with my bloody fist in my hand and closed my eyes. This time, all I could see was Clara’s face as I tucked her into bed that last night with a flask of whiskey. “Sweet dreams,” I had whispered in her ear, my mind only thinking about Riley and the night ahead. “I’ll see you in the morning.” I smiled at her as she gazed up at me with hurt eyes.

She’d known, like I had, that it was over between us. She’d known I’d been distant. I thought she’d known how I’d felt about Riley. The one thing neither of us knew was that that would be the last time we’d ever see each other.

I jumped up off the ground, grabbed my bag, and started walking. Riley was wrong. I was responsible for Clara’s death, and if Riley knew everything, I knew she’d never believe in me again. And that was the most troubling thing to me out of everything. I couldn’t stand for Riley to know who I really was. Because if she knew, she would hate me forever. Just like I hated myself.

Chapter 11

Riley

Present Day

It had been two weeks since I’d seen Hudson. He hadn’t been at the gym on the days I’d gone and I had been too numb to care. I didn’t blame him for hating me. What I’d done was wrong and I wasn’t sure if I would have been able to forgive myself either. That didn’t stop it from hurting inside, of course. The pain was raw and deep. I felt like I had been ripped open and my guts were hanging out for all the world to see. To have come so close to happiness again and lose it was devastating.

Being with Hudson the second time had confirmed to me what I’d already known. He held my heart. He held it in his hands and he had crushed it when he’d hung up on me after I’d told him about the text message. I knew what I had done was wrong, but I hadn’t expected him to be so done with me.

Part of me wondered if maybe he had lied that night. Maybe he really hadn’t wanted to break up with Clara. Maybe he had loved her. Maybe I was just a dalliance. An easy piece of meat. He had been a young college boy and I had basically offered myself up on a platter. “Make love to me. Take my virginity.” What man was going to say no that? I was ashamed of myself for having been so easy and then letting him sleep with me again.

I closed my eyes as I sat in the car, too nervous to head into the gym. Today was the day of the final match between Hudson and Channing. Whoever won would represent the club at the championships. Eden and I had talked about it and we both hoped that Channing would be the one to represent the club. I’d done some research and found out that there had been two people who had died at the previous year’s event. Justin had told me that some of the fighters thought they were a part of the Hunger Games and did anything to win, even if it meant someone dying.

I was scared for Hudson and I didn’t want him to win. A part of me wanted to beg him to withdraw, but I knew he wouldn’t listen to me. He was entering the championship to give money to Clara’s mom. There was no way he was going to let me talk him out of that.

I jumped out of my car, ready to walk into the gym, when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder.

I turned around and my eyes widened in surprise. “Luke? What are you doing here?”

“Came to see my friend kick some ass,” he laughed, but his eyes looked worried.

“I wish you wouldn’t have told him to do this.” I sighed and shook my head.

“Hey, he’s going to make a million dollars.”

“If he wins.” I glared at him.

“Well, nice to see you too, Riley.”

“It is good to see you.” I gave him a quick hug. “I’m just worried. People die, you know.”

“Hudson knows how to take care of himself.” Luke turned away from me. “He’ll be fine.”

“I hope so.”

“Been skinny dipping lately?” He raised an eyebrow, and I frowned at him.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing. I was just remembering how much you liked to go skinny dipping those summers in Florida.”

“I don’t think so.” My heart raced as I stared at him. “The only summer I went skinny dipping was the last time I went to Florida and you weren’t there.”

“Uh huh.”

“How did you know I went?”

“I just guessed.”

“Did Hudson tell you?” I frowned, and he shook his head.

“No, Hudson didn’t tell me anything.”

“I see.” I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. “Why didn’t you come that summer anyways?”

“I had an internship, but I did make it down for a few days.” His face turned red and he pulled out his phone. “Hold on. I think Hudson is calling me.”

“I didn’t know you came down.” I frowned, trying to remember. “You didn’t stay at the cottage.”

“No, I didn’t.” He put his phone back in his pocket. “Hudson wants to see me.”

“Really?” I frowned.

“Yeah.” He quickly walked ahead of me.

“Luke,” I called after him. “Why do you care so much about Hudson entering the fight?”

“Well, I know he wants to give some of the money to Clara’s mom.” He shrugged. “It would help her out a lot.”

“What do you care?”

“Clara really loved her mom. Everything she did was for her.” His tone changed. “She’s the only girl I know who really cared about someone more than herself.”

“I didn’t realize you knew her that well.”

“We went to college together,” he snapped. “She dated my best friend. We were friends.”

“Okay.” I put a hand up. “No need to bite my head off.”

“Stop questioning me.”

“I wasn’t questioning you. What’s your problem?”

“Sorry. I’m just stressed.” He sighed. “I’m concerned about Hudson as well.”

“Right. You’re scared he’s going to get hurt?”

“No, I’m scared he’s not going to win. He needs to win that money.” His voice rose. “You need to make sure he wins.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” He shook his head, and I could see a dazed look in his eyes. “Sorry. Nothing.”

“You okay, Luke?” I frowned as I stared at him. He looked like he was wired.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He nodded. “Sorry, okay?” He rushed into the gym ahead of me and I wondered what his problem was.

Something about his demeanor had seemed off. A part of me wondered if he was going to try and take the money from Hudson if he won. I knew that Luke didn’t have a job, and now I wondered if he had gotten himself into some sort of gambling debt or something. Something seemed really odd about how anxious he was for Hudson to win. I didn’t buy that he was worried about Clara’s mom. What did he care if he Clara’s mom was kicked out or not? It just seemed fishy to me.

I froze in the middle of the gym as I realized that all of the equipment had been moved to the side and that there were gym mats on the ground. They had been roped off like a boxing ring and there were first aid kits sitting at the side of the mats.

Justin walked up to me with a smile. “Hey, you.”

“Hey, Justin.”

“You excited?”

“Not really,” I shook my head. “More like worried.”

“Yeah, me too,” he whispered, and I gave him a sharp look.

“Why are you worried?”

“Channing is not going to go down without a very dirty fight.” He looked around and continued talking. “He’s was already pissed that Hudson might take away his opportunity and now he’s angry that Hudson took his girl as well.”

“What girl?” My heart flipped as I thought about Hudson with someone else.

Justin gave me a look. “You, of course.”

“Me?” I frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“Channing thinks you’re cute.” Justin shrugged. “He was hoping you guys would hook up on the camping trip. That’s why he put his bag next to you. But then your bag went missing and…you know.”

“No, I don’t know.”

“Well, I know you guys tried to be quiet, but you know…” Justin’s eyes looked embarrassed.

“Oh, my God.” I flushed red as I realized what he was saying.

“You were the only girl.” He made a face. “Channing felt like Hudson stole you.”

“Hudson and I have history.” I blushed.

“Yeah, and he left you by yourself.” Justin shrugged. “He doesn’t seem like a great guy to me, but I don’t know him well. I’m just saying that I think Channing is out for blood tonight.”

“Channing and I never had anything though.”

“Do you think that matters to guys? In Channing’s mind, you were his. Or at least you were going to be his. It was a done deal. I don’t know if he really liked you or if he sensed you and Hudson had a connection, but Channing is out for the kill.”

“He wouldn’t hurt Hudson though, would he?”

“Are you joking?” Justin’s laugh sounded tormented. “He’s out to hurt him. I think tonight is going to be the fight of the century.”

“They can’t do that.” My face paled. “It’s illegal to harm someone else.”

“This is the world of underground fighting, Riley. Don’t you understand that yet? There are no rules or cares. Everyone has their eye on the prize.”

“But all you guys are so nice.”

“There’s a reason why the two who are fighting the championship are Hudson and Channing. Neither one of them gives two shits about anyone else.”

“That’s not true.” I shook my head. “Hudson’s a good guy.”

“I don’t know why you’re defending him. It seems to me he fucked you and left.” Justin’s eyes looked at me in apology. “I’m not trying to be rude.”

“I know.” I bit my lip and looked down. My mind was filled with a million different thoughts, and I didn’t know if I would be able to watch the fight without throwing up. “Excuse me.” I gave Justin a short smile. “I’ll be back.”

“Okay.” He sat down in one of the plastic chairs and I quickly walked away from him.

I made my way to the locker room, trying to ensure that no one was looking at me. I pushed the door open and walked in quickly. I saw Channing and his group of friends in the far right corner and I moved swiftly to make sure he didn’t see me. I walked to the other side of the locker room and that was when I saw Hudson and Luke standing there.

“You’re doing a good thing, bro.” Luke was grinning at Hudson and egging him on. I paused and decided to watch them for a few minutes before I spoke. I thought it was odd that Luke looked so cheerful now. “Maybe when you win the money, you can dedicate the win to Clara.”

“I don’t think that’s appropriate.” Hudson shook his head.

My breath caught as I stared at him in his black boxer shorts. His tattoos seemed to glow as he stood there, and I wondered at how I had ever thought they were gross. They looked magnificent. He looked magnificent. So powerful and so strong. I swallowed as I stared at his chest and biceps. He looked fitter than I’d ever remembered him being. I wanted to walk over and touch his chest. I wanted to feel his hard body against mine. I wanted his lips to crush down on mine. I wanted him to tell me that everything was going to be okay. I wanted him to tell me that he forgave me.

“You know, Clara knew about you and Riley.” Luke’s voice changed and my breath caught as he spoke.

“What are you talking about?” Hudson’s voice was angry.

“She knew that you had a thing for her. We all knew.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You think she didn’t realize you were being cold to her that summer? Do you think she didn’t see how you used to watch Riley? Do you think she couldn’t tell that you were distant with her?”

“How would you know that, Luke?”

“She…she called me.” I watched as Luke’s face went white. “We were friends.”

“I don’t really remember you guys being friends.” Hudson frowned. “I don’t really remember you talking much at all.”

“Well, I’m just saying you need to win this.” Luke sat on the bench.

“That’s what I’m trying to do.”

“Just think how many girls you’ll get if you win.”

“I’m not doing it for girls.”

“But it’s a great side benefit, right? A bunch of hotties bending over for you?”

“Luke, I think you better leave.” Hudson turned away from him and I could see that he was angry.

“Okay, well, good luck.”

“Thanks.”

I watched as Luke walked away from Hudson before approaching him. My heart was beating fast and I could feel the nerves jumping in my stomach.

“Hey, Hudson,” I said lightly and watched as he turned around to face me.

“You shouldn’t be here.” His eyes lit up as he dismissed me. His eyes were what gave me hope and a little bit more nerve.

“I had to come and see you before the fight.”

“What did you want?”

“You don’t have to be mean.”

“What do you want, Riley?” He sighed and looked into my eyes. “I thought I made it clear that I didn’t want to talk to you.”

“I wanted to wish you luck. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” I looked down at the floor, feeling incredibly hurt.

“Thanks for the good luck.” His voice was hoarse.

“Do you think you’ll ever stop hating me?” I asked softly and looked up at him again. His expression changed and I could see a flow of different emotions cross his face.

“I don’t hate you, Riley. I could never hate you.”

“I know what I did was wrong.” My voice caught and I stopped talking.

Hudson stood up and slowly walked towards me. His hands made their way to my face and he tilted my chin up to look at him.

“Listen to me, Riley. You did nothing wrong. You are a beautiful, wonderful human being.” His eyes blazed into mine. “Never ever forget that.”

“Why did you leave me at the campsite?” I asked him, trying not to cry.

“I left because someone I know was in an accident.”

“Oh, no,” I gasped.

“She’s okay now.”

“You haven’t called me.”

“I have nothing to say.”

“Because you hate me!”

“Riley,” he growled and pulled me towards him. “If you only knew how false that statement is, you’d never say it or think it again. If you only knew how much I cared for you.”

I looked up at him with wide eyes. “How much?”

“This much.” His lips found mine, and I grabbed the back of his head as we kissed passionately.

I ran my fingers down his back and slipped my tongue into his mouth while biting down on his lower lip. He pushed me back into the lockers and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he groaned as his hardness came crashing into me. He eyes stared into mine with a dark gleam, and he leaned back a little bit and groaned. His mouth fell to mine again, and his hands gently held my ass. His fingers squeezed my butt cheeks, and I ran my hands through his hair. Our kiss deepened and I felt as if I were somehow flying through the air on wings of a dove. My whole body felt weightless, and I kissed him hungrily, wishing that all my other worries and problems would disappear.

“Now do you understand how much I don’t hate you?” Hudson let me down onto my own two feet and gave me a sweet smile.

“I guess you don’t hate me?” I asked breathlessly, still holding on to him.

“I love you, Riley,” he whispered against my lips. “I love you.”

“But you hung up on me.” My heart raced as he spoke. I wasn’t sure if I was living in some sort of daydream. He loved me? Could this possibly be true?

“Because you have more faith in me than you should.”

I frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“Now’s not the time.” He shook his head and took a step back. “I don’t want to see your face before the fight. I don’t want you to hate me before the fight. I want you to still respect me, even if it’s because you don’t know the truth.”

“What are you talking about, Hudson? What truth?” I grabbed his arms. “Please tell me.”

“Do you love me, Riley?” he whispered, his eyes hopeful.

“I love you so much, Hudson.”

“Good. That’s what I want to go into the fight knowing.” He gave me a smile. “I want to know I have someone to fight for. I want to know that you’re rooting for me with all your heart.”

“Why?”

“Why?” He looked sad. “Because you’re the only one who’s always believed in me and loved me. And if I lost that before the fight, I don’t know that I could win.”

“I don’t have a good feeling about the fight.” I gripped his arms. “Please don’t enter.”

“I have to.” His fingers wiped the tears on my face away. “I have to do this for Clara’s mom.”

“But I already told you it’s my fault. It’s not your fault.” My voice cracked.

“It’s all my fault.” His eyes looked so bleak that my heart cracked.

“No, it’s not. If you knew about the text, you would have gone for her. She’d still be here.”

“Shh, my darling.” He softly kissed my lips again. “Thank you for being strong enough to always come back to me, no matter what I say or do.”

“I’ll always be here for you. I’ll always come back to you, Hudson. You’re my candle and I’m your moth.”

“You’re my heart, and I’m yours to do with what you want.” Hudson grinned at me. “Oh how I love you, Riley.” He kissed me again, hard and deep. “I want to freeze time. I want us to remain here in this moment, only knowing what we know now. I want this to be it. I could live the rest of my life just staring at the love in your eyes.”

“I feel like you’re saying goodbye to me,” I said sadly, gazing back into his loving eyes. “Why do I feel like this is the end instead of the beginning?”

“Once you know who I am, what I’m capable of, I don’t think you’ll want to be with me.” He looked away from me. “I’m not the stand-up man you think I am.”

“Hudson, there is nothing you could—”

“Ooh, what do we have here?” Channing’s voice interrupted our conversation, and we both sprung apart as he walked towards us. “Is it my fellow fighter and his little slut?”

I gasped at his words and saw Hudson’s face go red, but neither of us responded.

“Do you need a few minutes?” Channing continued and looked at his watch. “I guess you still have some time to pull your shorts down so she can have a quick suck on your cock.”

“Shut it.” Hudson took a step forward and I grabbed his arm.

“Just ignore him,” I muttered, glaring at Channing’s smirk.

“Or would you rather like a suck on mine?” He laughed and grabbed his cock. “I’m sure you’d like to be with a man who could fuck you long and hard and not run off in the morning.”

“I’m warning you,” Hudson growled and took another step forward.

“You’re warning me?” Channing laughed again and his eyes narrowed. “What are you going to do? Hit me?” He beat his fists against his chest. “Are you going to try and fight me? Over this little whore?”

“I told you to shut the fuck up.” Hudson moved swiftly and pushed Channing back into the lockers. “I don’t care what beef you have with me, but I’ll fuck you up if you talk about Riley like that.”

“Didn’t she tell you that when you left I slipped into the sleeping bag and fucked her?” Channing licked his lips. “The only reason she knew it was me was because I lasted so much longer than you. Did she tell you that?”

My heart stopped as I watched Hudson slam his right fist into Channing’s eye. Channing didn’t make a sound, but I could see the look in his eyes turning into pure hate and evil.

“Put him down, Hudson.” I ran up to him. “Please.”

“Listen to your girl, Hudson,” Channing said in a sing-song voice. “Or she’s going to have to charge you extra tonight.”

Hudson’s breathing was heavy, and I was scared he was going to hit him again.

“He’s not worth it,” I whispered. “Wait until the fight.” I touched his arm and prayed to God that he didn’t do anything else. I sighed in relief as he released his grip on Channing and stepped back.

“Get the fuck out of here, Channing.”

“Yes, Batman.” Channing stared at us and laughed. Then he looked me up and down. “I’m glad you chose this loser. I was never that into big-thighed sluts,” he sneered at me and then turned away.

I watched as he walked out of the gym and then looked up at Hudson.

“You okay?” His eyes were full of concern for me, and my heart melted once again at how wonderful he was.

“I’m fine.” I nodded and stepped forward to hug him. “He’s a pompous ass.”

“I’ll enjoy beating the shit out of him.”

“Don’t hurt him.” I touched his face. “Please don’t do anything too bad.”

His eyes widened. “You want me to go soft on him?”

“No, but I don’t want you to break anything.” I bit my lower lip. “Don’t stoop to his level.”

“You have so much faith in me.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why you think I can stop myself from beating the shit out of him.”

“Because I know you. I know you and I love you.” I leaned up and kissed him. “Just remember that when you’re in the ring.”

“I’ll try.” He nodded and paused. “You’re making this so hard.”

“What am I making hard?” I frowned.

“You’re making me want to believe.” He closed his eyes. “You’re giving me hope.”

“I love you, Hudson,” I whispered in his ear. “That’s never going to change.”

“God forgive me, but I don’t know if I can give you up.” He grabbed my hands. “I’ve done bad, Riley. I know I’ve done bad and I know you’re going to hate me when I tell you, but I swear to God, I’m going to fight for you. I can’t let you go. I can’t let this go.”

“You don’t have to,” I whispered against his lips. “Now go out there and win that fight.”

We held each other for a few minutes before Hudson kissed my forehead and walked out of the locker room. I let him go ahead of me and sat down on the bench. I touched my lips and rubbed them softly. I felt warm and fuzzy inside. It seemed to me that everything was finally going to work out. He didn’t hate me for what I’d done. In fact, he loved me. He really loved me. I hugged myself as I sat there grinning. Finally, everything was working out. Finally, Hudson and I were going to get to be together.

* * *

I waited in the locker room for about five minutes before going back out. I was shocked by the crowds of people I saw in the gym. It was loud and packed, and there was a buzz in the air that I had never felt before.

I reached into my bag, grabbed my phone, and started taking some photos. They would be awesome to include in my article. I realized then that I should start taking some notes. This was the biggest fight Nick’s gym was going to see; in fact, it was the first real fight I was going to see. I was scared at what I was about to witness. I half-smiled to myself as I realized I should get used to it. If Hudson won and entered the championships, then there was going to be a whole lot more fighting for me to witness.

“I’ve got fifty on Channing.” A tall guy passed some money to a skinny guy with spiky blond hair.

“I’ve got two hundred.” Another guy gave the blond guy money and grinned. “He’s going to beat the shit out of that punk ass.”

“What’s his name again?” the tall guy asked and laughed.

“Rudson or something,” the other guy replied. “Or maybe it was Robin or something.”

“It’s Hudson.” I walked up to them. “The other guy’s name is Hudson, but he also goes by Batman.”

“Okay, okay.” The tall guy gave me a surprised look. “Don’t get it twisted.”

“What?”

“Don’t get it twisted.”

“Don’t get what twisted?” I rolled my eyes at him and turned away. “Dumbass,” I mumbled under my breath. I was pretty sure he had used the slang phrase incorrectly.

“Riley, come over here!” Justin shouted and waved at me.

I pushed my way over to the seat he was saving for me and gave him a look of thanks. “It’s really busy in here.” I looked around.

“Yeah,” Justin nodded. “Nick’s pissed. No one else was supposed to be here, but Channing created an event on Facebook.”

I frowned. “Why would he do that?”

“He thinks he’s going to win.”

“He doesn’t have a shot, does he?”

“If he plays dirty.” Justin shrugged. “Who knows?”

“You really think he’s going to fight dirty, don’t you?”

“I don’t know.” Justin’s face was grim. “I really don’t know.”

“He’s going to try and hurt him, isn’t he?” I stared at him and felt my body going cold. “I know you said that earlier, but I thought it was just conjecture. But you weren’t just saying that, were you? You think he’s going to really try and hurt him.”

“I don’t know what he’s capable of, but yes, I think he has a few tricks up his sleeve.”

“I need to talk to Hudson.” I jumped up, feeling panicked.

What if he didn’t fight back because I had told him to fight clean? What if he just took it because he was worried what I would think? I had to let him know to fight as dirty as he had to.

“You can’t go to the mat.” Justin grabbed me. “You’ll get him disqualified.”

“But I need to talk to him.” I shook my head as my whole body convulsed.

“You can’t go to the mat.” His fingers tightened their grip on my arms. “If you do, he’s out. It’ll be okay, Riley. Hudson knows what he is doing.”

“I hope so.”

I sat back down and watched as an older-looking man stepped onto the mat. He looked at Hudson and Channing and said something I couldn’t hear. Then the fight began. The room became quiet. I was shocked by the silence. I had always assumed that fights were noisy events.

“Why is it so quiet?” I whispered to Justin.

“People want to hear every break and crunch.”

“What?”

“They want to hear the bones break.” He offered me a gentle smile. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” I swallowed hard. “It just seems so weird that people would want to see other people get hurt.”

“That’s humankind for you.” He shrugged and then gave me a once-over. “Are you sure you want to be here? It could get pretty bad. I’m sure there will be a lot of blood.”

“I want to see.” I nodded. “I have to see. I’m writing an article.”

“Yeah.” He looked at my pad and paper. “I forgot about that.”

We turned back to the fight and I tried not to squirm in my seat as Hudson and Channing faced off. So far neither one of them had made the first move, and the tension was high in the air. We were all waiting to see what happened.

I sat there with my hand over my mouth. I wanted to scream, but nothing had happened yet. I was scared for Hudson. I was scared for myself. A horrible feeling was building up in my stomach and there was a ringing in my ears. My entire body was still in tension.

And then it happened. It seemed like everything was occurring in slow motion. I watched Channing’s right hook connect with Hudson’s jaw. The crack was heard throughout the room, and I heard everyone gasp. Hudson tried to hit Channing back, but Channing blocked him easily. I watched as Channing hit him again and blood squirted out of Hudson’s nose. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see him getting hit.

“Oh fuck.” Justin’s exclamation made me open my eyes again. I watched as Channing held Hudson in a choke hold, squeezing down on Hudson’s neck.

“Stop.” I screamed. “You can’t do that.” I cried out, but no one paid any attention to me. Channing punched Hudson in the face again and then went crashing down to the floor. He jumped up, kicking Hudson in the ribs, and then fell on top of him. The whole room went silent as we heard a loud crack.

“He’s not moving!” someone screamed, and I watched as Channing stood up, staring at the ground in shock.

“He’s gone and broken his neck!” someone else shouted.

Suddenly there was commotion in the room as everyone struggled to look at Hudson’s unmoving body on the mats.

“He’s killed him.” Justin’s eyes were wide with shock as he stared at me. I could hear in his tone that he was about to break down.

I stared at him and then looked at Hudson again. I started to feel like the world was spinning and I couldn’t catch my breath. I watched as a guy jumped on the mats.

“I’m an EMT!” he shouted and kneeled down next to Hudson. “He’s not breathing!” he shouted out. “Someone call 911!”

I stared at Justin in shock, and then I fainted.

Chapter 12

Hudson

Present Day

“Welcome,” a sweet soft voice whispered to me.

I couldn’t see her face or locate her in the darkness, but I was grateful for the sound. I was happy that I was surrounded by angels. I hadn’t been sure what was going to greet me when I crossed over.

They say that when you die, all your memories flash before your eyes. You see your life in a dream sequence so you can remember the people you’ve lost and the people you’ve loved. All I could think about was Riley. In the darkness, it was her face that kept me warm. I died happy—well, as happy as I could be. I died with the knowledge that Riley loved me. I wasn’t mad that I died right when all my dreams were about to come true. It was karma or kismet, as some people would say. One death begets a death. It was my fault that Clara was dead, and now I was dead. It was how it should be.

I remembered what my pastor had said in church once. He’d said that when a person died, the breath of life departs from the body and the soul no longer existed. He said that death was like a long, deep slumber. And that we’d have to wait until Jesus came back and then the good would go to heaven and the bad would go to hell. His words had scared me to death.

Could you imagine just waiting to be awoken, not knowing if you were going to an eternal lifetime of love and hope or if you were going to be burning in the pits of hell? Now that I was dead, it didn’t seem so bad.

I was alone with my thoughts and my memories. And all I could think about was Riley—her beautiful brown eyes, her long silky hair, the way she smiled at me when she saw me, the way she touched me so softly, the way she moaned when I kissed her. I could remember every last moment I’d spent with her. I couldn’t stop the guilt though. It stayed with me, even in death. And a part of me felt uneasy.

A part of me wondered if she would have still loved me if she’d known the truth. I thought back to that last night in Englewood. Clara had started drinking at lunchtime. She’d been texting back and forth with someone fervently, and all I could think about was how sad I’d been at not knowing when I’d see Riley again. We’d argued a little bit. Clara had told me that she could cheat on me just as much as I could cheat on her. I’d ignored her talk since it was the alcohol talking.

I hadn’t cheated on her physically, though mentally she was far from my mind. She’d gotten drunker at dinner, telling me I wasn’t really a man. That even Luke thought she could find someone better. I’d rolled my eyes and thought about how I could get Riley alone.

When she had gone to lie done, I’d felt exhilarated. I tucked her in with the flask and I knew it was over. She knew as well. And I didn’t feel guilty because she had been too busy texting back and forth. I didn’t know who she’d been talking to, but whoever it was seemed to make her happy because she laughed every time she got a new text.

I went to the beach with Riley, feeling like I was on top of the world. Everything was going right. And when we made love, I felt my heart overflowing with happiness and joy. But then my phone had started beeping. I pretended to ignore it, but I knew that it was bothering Riley as well. I watched her checking the phone but pretended to kiss her shoulder. I watched her as she read the messages and then deleted them. I saw the messages from Clara asking me to come and get her, but I ignored them.

In fact, seeing Riley delete the messages had made me happy. I was sick in the head, but they made me feel like she really loved me. I’d thought to myself, How cute. She’s jealous so she’s deleting the messages. I didn’t even consider going to pick Clara up.

And then we made it home and the police told us that Clara had been in a car accident. Clara had died and it was all my fault. I’d betrayed her and let her down in all the worst ways. Yet, Riley still had faith and love for me. She thought that I was still a stand-up guy.

Her words kept playing in my head. “If you knew she needed you…” and “If you’d seen the messages, you would have gone.” How could I have told her that I had seen the messages and I had known that Clara had needed me? How could I have broken her heart and my own in the process?

I’d thought I'd have more regrets when I died, but I didn’t. I thought it's because I’d died an honorable death. I hadn’t fought back. I didn't go dirty when I realized that Channing was going to go dirty. To be fair, I'd known before the fight had started that he was going to fight dirty. I’d thought he was going to knife me up, so I’d brought a small pocket knife with me as well. However, my plans had changed when Riley asked me to fight clean. I’d known in that moment that I would do what she’d asked. I’d wanted her to know that at least once I'd tried to think of someone else before myself.

I'd seen the look of surprise in Channing's eyes as he hit me, and I’d kneed him in the groin. “Pussy,” he had whispered in my ear as he'd choked me. “You're going to lose for some pussy.” His voice had been full of venom and I'd felt sorry for him. If that was all he saw when he looked at Riley, then he must have had a very sorry life. How anyone could look at her and not be taken by her beauty and kind smile was beyond me. Only someone very jaded could see Riley and only think of pussy.

Though, I'd be lying if I said that one of my regrets was not getting to spend more time with her in bed. It was as if our bodies had been made for each other. My favorite memories were of us kissing and making love. If I thought about it hard enough, I could almost experience the same thoughts and feelings I’d felt when I entered her. All I had to do was think very hard.

I didn’t think the angel was happy at my naughty thoughts because she kept punching me and saying my name. “Hudson,” she whispered. “Hudson.” Her voice distracted me and made me tired. It was as if she were lulling me to sleep. If I ever had kids, I would have recorded her singing nursery rhymes. She had the sort of voice that comforted you and made you feel safe.

I’d lied earlier. There was one thing I regretted about being dead. I regretted not knowing if I’d gotten Riley pregnant that night we went camping. She'd said afterwards that she was on the pill, but I knew that the pill wasn't one hundred percent fail proof. Part of me wanted her to be carrying my child so she’d always have a piece of me in her life, but the other part of me knew how selfish that was.

That’s when the sadness hit me. I was never going to see her again. Rage filled me as I realized what they really meant. All of a sudden, the memories didn’t seem like enough. How could they ever be enough? Memories didn’t replace my getting to touch her and hold her. Kisses in the mind weren’t as good as kisses on the lips.

I didn’t want to be dead. The poetic justice I’d believed had been served was unfair. I didn’t want to be in deep slumber. I wanted to be alive. I wanted to live my life. I wanted to own up to Riley about everything. I wanted to protect her.

It’s funny how you take things for granted when you’re on the earth. I’d given up hope. I hadn’t fought for her or for us. She was the one who had really tried to make things right between us. I was ashamed of myself for accepting death so easily. It didn’t feel so peaceful now. It felt tiring and upsetting.

The memories were no longer comforts, but taunts of what my life could have been. All I could think about was Riley and me on a beach. Riley was wearing a long, flowing white dress. It only took me a few moments to realize it was a wedding dress. There was a flower in her hair, and she was beaming at me, waiting. I realized that I was watching her walking down the aisle. I was getting married. My heart jumped for joy as I realized she was going to become my wife.

I wanted to savor the moment, but it faded quickly. Then I was in a room and there was a baby crying. My head was aching and I was annoyed. Why wouldn’t the baby stop crying? I found myself getting out of bed and walking through the hallways in an unfamiliar house. There were photos on the wall, and I gasped as I realized that they were of me and Riley and a bunch of kids.

I followed the sound of the baby crying and opened the door. Riley was sitting in a chair, and she was nursing. She looked up at me and smiled, and I was caught up in the beauty of the moment. I hadn’t expected to feel such a rush of love. I stood there, captivated by the scene in front of me, and then I started shivering.

Death felt colder than I thought it would. Colder and softer. My mind felt foggy as I realized that it was something pressing down on my body that was making me feel cold. That’s strange, I thought, I didn’t know I’d be able to feel my body. I’d just assumed that once I died I would just have my brain, my thoughts, and my soul. I guessed I’d never really thought about my physical body.

“Mr. and Mrs. Blake, I’m going to let you stay here with him for a few more minutes. He’s still unconscious and I don’t think he’ll come out of it tonight,” the lady with the sweet voice said to me. She sounded like she was shouting though. She was shouting and turning on a light.

I groaned as the darkness was lifted from me for a few seconds. For a moment, I almost thought I saw my parents, but then the light was gone and I was left with my dreams of Riley once more.

Chapter 13

Riley

Present Day

I woke up in my bed feeling groggy. I stretched and winced as pain filled my head.

“Morning.” Eden’s voice was soft, and I looked around the room to see where she was.

“Morning,” I whispered back at her. “Why are you in my room?”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” She stood up and walked over to me.

“I’m fine.” I rubbed my temple, and then it all came crashing down on me. “Hudson. How is Hudson?”

“We don’t know.” Eden’s voice broke, and I could see that her eyes were filled with tears.

“He’s still alive?” I asked hopefully.

“He’s unconscious. We don’t know what damage he might have right now,” she sobbed. “My parents and I were with him last night.”

“How did I get here?”

“Luke brought you with some guy named Justin.”

“Oh.” I bit my lip. “I want to go and see Hudson.”

“You should rest. You fainted. Hit your head pretty hard.”

“I’m fine. I need to see him.”

“Do you love him, Riley?” Eden sat on the bed and looked at me with wounded eyes.

“What do you mean?” I bit my lower lip and felt my face flushing. “Of course I love him. Just like you do.”

“No.” Her voice was louder. “I mean, do you love him?”

“Why are you asking me this?”

“Have you kissed him?” Eden sounded angry. “Have you kissed my brother?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Why are you lying to me?”

“How did you know?” I grabbed her hand and sighed. “It’s not that I wanted to keep this a secret from you. It’s just that we never really had anything substantial to talk about.”

“So you guys hooked up that summer?” Eden was crying. “That last summer?”

“Yes,” I nodded. “I lost my virginity to him that summer.”

“What?” she screamed.

“Oh.” I made a face. “You didn’t know?”

“Luke didn’t tell me all that. He just said that you guys had made out and Clara knew and it made her really upset and he had to comfort her.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” I sighed. “There were so many times I wanted to, but I didn’t know how.”

“That’s okay.” She sighed and then giggled. “Maybe it’s for the best. I would have wanted all the details, but it would have been too weird knowing it was my brother you were talking about.”

“I love him, you know.” I attempted to get out of bed. “I thought he died last night. I thought Channing broke his neck.”

“He tried.” Eden held out her hand and I grabbed ahold of it. “That guy is one sick motherfucker. Justin told me everything that happened. Everyone says that Hudson is lucky to be alive.”

“He’s going to be okay?” I felt tears running down my face.

“I don’t know what may be broken.” Eden’s face looked tired. “I didn’t stay long since I wanted to come back home and look after you.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“Of course I did. You’re my best friend, my sister. I couldn’t leave you alone for long. I had to make sure you were okay as well.”

“I love you.” I gave her a quick hug and she smiled.

“You’re lucky you’re not one hundred percent better yet or I would be slapping you for keeping such a big secret from me.”

“I promise you can slap me when the headache is gone.”

“Deal.” She laughed, and we walked to the living room. “Ready to go to the hospital? I can drive.”

“I’m still in my pajamas.” I looked down at myself and laughed. “But you know what, who cares. Let’s go.”

We drove to the hospital in silence. Both of us were too caught up in our thoughts to say anything else to each other. The humor of the morning was gone as we both realized the gravity of the situation. I was happy that Hudson was alive, but he was still unconscious and we didn’t know what damage he may have. Of course my mind instantly went to the worst options possible. What if he was brain-dead or paralyzed? What if he never woke up? I wasn’t even sure medically what unconscious meant? Did that mean he was in a coma? I didn’t bother asking Eden because I knew she wouldn’t have a clue either.

I sat back in the seat and cried silently. Once again this was all my fault. It seemed to be that I kept making decisions that were costing people their lives. I didn’t really understand why this had happened to me or to him. Though, I knew it wasn’t for me to understand. All I could do was pray and hope that he was going to be okay. I knew I wouldn’t leave him though. No matter what happened, I would still be there for him. I’d become his caregiver if I had to. Whatever he needed, I would give him. I still loved him more than life itself. I just hoped that the life he still had to live was one he would be happy with.

Eden pulled up at the front of the hospital and stopped. “You get out. I’m going to park the car.”

“Don’t you want to come in with me?” I frowned as I unbuckled my seatbelt.

“I’ll come in a bit.” She shook her head. “I’m sure you want some alone time with him.”

“Will they let me see him?” I gave her a look of thanks. “I’m not technically his family.”

“I put you down as his sister.” She grinned at me. “So yes, you can see him. Just don’t go kissing him or anything. I don’t want them thinking we’re some sort of weird family.”

I laughed then and smiled. “Thank you, Eden.”

“No worries.” She gave me a wide smile. “Now go and talk to my brother. If anyone can make him wake up, it’ll be you.”

I closed the door and walked into the hospital. It was clean, white, and clinical. I found the front desk and quickly walked up to one of the nurses.

“Excuse me. I’m looking for Hudson Blake, my brother.” I cringed inside as I said brother. It felt icky even thinking it.

“Hold on.” She held up a hand and typed into the computer in front of her. “Take the elevator up to the fourth floor and go to room J. You’ll find him in there.”

“Thank you.” I nodded and walked over to the elevator, my heart beating fast.

I wasn’t sure what I was going to see when I walked into the room, and that scared me. I stood in the elevator with a doctor and two nurses, and I looked down at the floor. I was starting to get a headache again, but I tried to ignore it. I got out on the fourth floor and looked around for a sign to point me in the right direction. I spied Luke standing with a petite black lady and walked over to them.

“Hi, Luke,” I said softly and curiously. He looked up at me with bloodshot eyes, and I could tell that he had been crying.

“Hi.” He smiled weakly. “How are you feeling?”

“Like there are a bunch of nails in my head, but I’m okay.”

“Good, good.” He nodded and looked away. “He’s still out.”

“I see.” My heart stopped for a second. “Any other updates?”

“No.” He shook his head and paused. “I hope he knows I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Luke.”

“It is.” He sighed, and I saw the bleakness in his eyes.

I looked at the lady standing next to him and smiled. “Hi, I’m Riley.”

“Aww, the infamous Riley.” She gave me a wide smile and shook my hand. “Nice to meet your acquaintance, Riley.”

“You know me?”

“I’ve heard of you, yes.”

“Oh.” I looked back at Luke, wondering what was going on, and he sighed.

“This is Clara’s mom.” His eyes darkened as he said her name. “She wanted to see how Hudson was doing, so I gave her a ride to the hospital.”

“As soon as Luke called me this morning, I knew I had to come if I could.” She nodded in agreement. “Especially since he had entered this fight for me.”

“You knew that?” My head started hurting again.

She nodded. “Luke told me.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you guys knew each other.”

“Luke started visiting me after Clara’s funeral.” She took ahold of his arm. “He’s become like a son to me.”

“I’m sorry about Clara,” I whispered, suddenly ashamed to be standing there as if nothing had happened. As if I hadn’t played such a large role in her demise.

“I don’t know why the Lord decided to take my child. She was my world, but I do not question the Lord’s decision.” Clara’s mom’s voice was passionate, and I looked up at her trying to study her face.

Was that how she really felt? I knew that I would be absolutely mad at the Lord if he decided to take Hudson away from me. I wouldn’t just accept it like that. I felt panicked inside as I thought about death and mortality. I couldn’t grasp how she could be okay with it all.

“Don’t get me wrong. I cried for years. I still cry, but my Clara had demons. Her life wasn’t easy.” She sighed. “I tried my best, but I couldn’t do everything. She had a drinking problem.” She looked at Luke then and squeezed his arm. “That was her problem, and I never addressed it. No one is to blame for her death but the alcohol.”

Luke grabbed her hand and started crying, and I stared at them for a few moments, confused and unsure as to what was going on. I was going to ask more questions when I remembered that I was there to see Hudson. I pushed the questions in my mind out of the way and gave them a gentle smile.

“Excuse me. I’m going to go and see Hudson.”

“Only family can see him right now.” Luke gave me a face, and I smiled.

“I’m his sister.” I grinned and looked for room J. “I’ll see you both later. It was nice meeting you.” I nodded at Clara’s mom, and she nodded back at me.

I turned around quickly and almost ran when I saw the big J outside of the door. I pushed the door open and walked in. I wasn’t prepared for the sight in the room. Hudson was lying in the bed with a bunch of different machines connected to him. I stopped by the door and just stared at him, feeling too scared and emotional to move any closer.

His face was the only thing that wasn’t covered with anything, but he looked different. It was swollen, and he had bruises all over him. I didn’t understand why he had so many bruises because I didn’t remember Channing hitting him that many times. I took a couple of deep breaths and then walked closer to the bed. I walked all the way to the front and stared down at his face.

“Hey Hudson,” I whispered, hoping for a romantic miracle. I waited for him to open his eyes and smile at me lazily. A teardrop fell as I realized that wasn’t going to happen. “Hey, Hudson, wake up,” I spoke, this time louder. His face didn’t move.

I stared at his chest and was grateful to see that it was moving up and down. There was some sign of life there. I reached down and touched his cheek very gently. His skin was a mix of black, blue, and green with some purple hues. Channing had done everything he could to make sure that Hudson lost the fight.

“It’s me, Hudson. It’s Riley,” I whispered as I traced his bruises. “I’m sorry I told you not to fight back dirty. I was wrong. You shouldn’t have listened to me. You should have beaten the shit out of him.” My hand flew to my mouth. “Oops, sorry for cussing.” And then I laughed. “Who am I apologizing to?” I shook my head and closed my eyes for a few seconds. This was a lot harder than I had anticipated it being. “I guess I fainted last night. I woke up this morning in my bed and I don’t even remember leaving the gym. Isn’t that crazy?”

I rambled on, not knowing what to say. It was weird talking, knowing I wasn’t going to get a response.

“Luke’s outside waiting to see you. You won’t believe who he’s with.” I leaned down and whispered, “He’s with Clara’s mom. Weird huh? Who knew they were friends? She said he’s been going to see her since the funeral. I didn’t even know he was good friends with Clara. But I suppose the three of you must have hung out a lot.” I paused and decided to change the subject. I wasn’t sure he wanted to hear about Clara.

“So Eden told me you’re going to go on a trip traveling around the world. I wonder what countries you’re planning on going to. Do you want a travel buddy? I don’t have the money to go yet, but I’m sure I can get a job and save—if you’re willing to wait a few months of course. Or maybe a year.” I laughed awkwardly. “I’m not sure I’ll have enough money in a few months. I still have to finish this exposé on underground fighting. I want to interview you when you wake up. I’m going to make you the star of the article.”

I took a step back then. I couldn’t stop the feelings of sadness and depression from taking over. I walked to the door and was about to leave when I decided to go back.

“Hey, Hudson, it’s me again.” I took a deep breath. “I nearly left to go and get some water and coffee. I didn’t think it would be this hard. I don’t even know what’s going on or what’s wrong with you. I miss you. You know what’s funny? The fact that you still call yourself Batman.” I started laughing. “Who calls himself Batman? I mean, it was cute when you were an obnoxious kid, but you’re a man now.” I giggled. “I’m going to get you a cape and a mask. And I’m going to make you wear it to the mall and you’ll have to run through the mall shouting, “Batman’s here!” And I’m going to take lots of photos to blackmail you with.” I smiled down at him, love filling my heart as I remembered how he’d always been there for me.

“Get better, Hudson. Please get better. I love you. I think we were destined for each other. Please just get better. I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I’m not going anywhere. I will always remain by your side. Please don’t leave me alone, Hudson.” I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I leaned down and gently pressed my lips against his. “I love you, Hudson,” I whispered against his lips.

And then two things happened: his eyes popped open and a nurse walked into the room and gasped.

Chapter 14

Hudson

Present Day

I was never going to live down the name ‘Sleeping Beauty.’ It wasn’t the worst name a guy could have, but it wasn’t exactly the most masculine either. If another person called me Sleeping Beauty, I thought I was going to pull my hair out and scream.

Though, I suppose it’s not as embarrassing as what happened to Riley. Having the nurse catch her kissing me was something she wasn’t going to live down either. I suppose it never feels good to be caught kissing your brother. I laughed weakly and saw Riley frowning at me from the chair next to the bed.

“Why are you laughing?” she asked me suspiciously, but I didn’t tell her why.

“No reason.” I smiled at her. “Come.” I waved her over to the bed. I watched as she slowly got up and walked over to me.

“You okay?” Her eyes searched mine with a worried expression.

“Yeah.” I nodded and reached up to touch her face. “I just wanted to look at you.”

“Okay.”

“Kiss me?” I asked her. “I need you to breathe some life in me.”

“Uh huh.” She rolled her eyes, but I could see her grinning. Riley was loving the fact that she had been the one to wake me. “I’m not a fire-breathing dragon, you know.”

“I don’t need the fire.” I grinned. “At least, not know. Not while I’m still in the hospital. Unless they say conjugal visits are okay.”

“Hudson!” she gasped, and I laughed.

“Kiss me,” I demanded, and she leaned down and gently pressed her lips against mine. “Hmm,” I muttered, grabbing her head and running my fingers through her hair as I kissed her harder.

I slipped my tongue into her mouth and we kissed each other eagerly. I closed my eyes and breathed in her smell. This was what I had missed when I’d thought I was dead. The realness of this moment didn’t compare to my memories. The smell of her was so strong and vibrant, the taste of her so sweet, the feel of her so warm. There was nothing that could ever compare to the real thing.

“Hudson.” She pulled away, slightly breathless. “That’s enough.”

“I can never have enough of you, Riley.”

“Well, we’ll have to save the rest for the moment you leave the hospital.”

“Yeah, I suppose so.” I frowned. “You’re so mean to me.”

“Has Channing been to see you?” She changed the subject. “It’s been a week since you woke up, and I was just wondering.”

“No, he hasn’t.” I shook my head. “Nick has though. Channing’s out of the club.”

“What?” Her eyes widened. “So what does that mean? He’s not going to the championship?”

“Nope.”

“Oh wow. So Justin’s going.” She looked at me thoughtfully. “He was next up, right?”

“He was next, but he’s not going.”

“He’s not?” She looked in me in confusion. “Then who’s going?”

I took a deep breath and grabbed ahold of her hand. “I have something to tell you.”

“What?” Her face went pale. “Oh my God, no, Hudson. You can’t do this. You nearly died. You have to stop letting your guilt take over your life. It’s not your fault that Clara died. Your dying isn’t going to solve anything.”

“Riley, listen to me. Please.” I squeezed her hands, my heart breaking at her obvious pain.

“Why? So you can tell me that you’re going back for round two? Do you think I want to go through this again? I can’t go through this again, Hudson. I don’t like it. It’s not right.”

“Riley, I wanted to talk to you about the night that Clara died.” I took a deep breath. “Please listen to me.”

“What?” She glared at me. “I’m getting so fed up of going over that night. I know that makes me a horrible person, but will we ever get to move past that night?”

“I saw you delete the texts.” I bit my lip, and her eyes flew to mine in shock. “I’m not the saint you thought I was, Riley. I know Clara wanted my help. I saw you delete them. I didn’t want to leave you that night. In fact, I was happy you were jealous. I thought it proved to me that you really did care for me like I cared for you.”

“I didn’t know.” She kissed my forehead. “That’s why you feel guilty? That’s why you thought I’d hate you?”

I nodded, and tears filled my eyes. “We both made mistakes that night. I knew she had an alcohol problem and I gave her more alcohol before we left. I just wanted us to be together.”

“Oh, Hudson.” She stroked my cheek. “I’m sorry. I understand why you feel a responsibility to her mom.”

“About that.” I took another deep breath. “About the fight.”

“I don’t know if I can go through this again.” Her eyes were bleak, and my heart broke at the scared look in her eyes. “What if they kill you this time?”

“I signed up for the fight because I felt guilty about that night, but there’s something else you need to know.” I took a deep breath and was about to continue when the door opened.

“Can I come in?” Luke walked into the room and I nodded, still unsure as to how I felt about our friendship.

“Luke, you need to talk some sense into Hudson. He said he’s going to continue with the fight.” Riley’s voice rose. “How is he going to continue with a fight? He has no shot at winning.” Her voice cracked, and I saw Luke give me a questioning look. I shook my head as he sighed.

“I’d hoped Hudson would have told you already.” He sat down and stared at Riley.

She looked at him in confusion. “Told me what?”

“I’m the one going to the championships, Riley.”

“What?” Her jaw dropped and she looked at me in shock. “What are you talking about?”

“I spoke to Nick and he’s sending me.” His voice sounded sad. “I never should have convinced Hudson to sign up. I should have been man enough in the beginning. I should have signed up myself.”

“No, Luke.” She walked over to him. “You don’t need to do this either.”

“Yes.” He jumped up. “Yes, I do.”

“Why?”

“I need to win the million dollars. I need to give some it to Clara’s mom.” He looked at me and gave me another apologetic smile. “I’m the reason she’s dead, Riley.” Tears started rolling from his eyes as he spoke. “She wasn’t driving home from the bar when she crashed. She was driving to meet me.”

“But that doesn’t make sense. Her text message said she needed a ride home from the bar.” Riley looked confused. “She needed Hudson to take her home.”

“I think she was testing him to see if he would leave you.” Luke’s voice was distraught. “I asked her to leave Hudson. I asked her to date me. She knew he had feelings for you, but she wanted to see if he was really going to choose you over her. And when he never responded to her texts, she realized it was over. She called me and asked me to come to the house, but I didn’t want you guys to know I was in town. I didn’t want Hudson to suspect I was chatting up his girlfriend. So I told her to come and meet me.” His voice cracked as he started crying. “Only she never made it.”

“Oh, Luke.” Riley’s voice was filled with shock, and I could see in her eyes that she was as taken aback as I had been when I heard the news a few days prior. I watched as she took him in her arms and hugged him, and my heart filled with renewed love for her. The fact that her first thought was to comfort him at this time meant the world to me. “Luke, this isn’t your fault.”

“Every time I think about that night, I hate myself. I haven’t been able to function.” He sobbed. “I loved her, you know.”

“Is that why you became friendly with her mom?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “She’s a wonderful woman. She knows about that night and she forgives me. I couldn’t believe it, but she forgives me. That’s why I’m entering the fight. She’s going to lose her house. I need to get some money to help her.”

“Oh, Luke.” She held him tighter to her. “I wish you wouldn’t do this.”

“You can’t talk me out of it.” His voice was firm as he pulled away from her. “Ask your boyfriend. he’s already tried.”

“That I have.” I sighed and shook my head. “He won’t listen to reason.”

“But can you even fight?” Riley made a face. “Sorry, but I’ve never seen you—”

“Riley, shh.” I laughed as Luke looked hurt. “Now’s not the time to be asking if he can fight.”

“But isn’t that important?” Riley looked annoyed and then sighed. “I guess you know what you’re doing.”

“Yes, I do.” He nodded and gave me a smile. “Hudson’s going to train me.”

“What?” Riley’s jaw dropped. “Are you kidding me?”

“Nope.” I gave her a look. “He’s going to give me a hundred thousand for training him.”

“A hundred thousand from where?”

“His winnings.” I grinned. “I have someone who needs that money.”

“Oh?” She looked at me curiously.

“A friend of mine, Jamilah. You’ll meet her soon.”

“Okay.” She nodded, smiled, and walked over to kiss me on the cheek. “Just as long as she’s not an ex-girlfriend or something.”

I laughed. “She’s a kid.”

“What?” She looked confused again.

“Don’t worry. She’s not my kid.” I laughed again. “I’ll tell you more later.”

“Yes, dear.” She kissed me again, and I pulled her down so I could feel her warmth next to me.

“Okay, I think that’s my cue to leave.” Luke laughed and walked to the door. “So, I’ll see you next week?”

“Yup,” I nodded. “Start running. I want you running at least ten miles by the time we start training next week.”

“Okay.” He made a face, and I laughed.

“Now, get out of here. I want to kiss my girlfriend in private.”

“See you guys.” He left the room, and Riley just stared at me.

“I can’t believe any of that.” She shook her head. “When were you going to tell me?”

I groaned and closed my eyes. “Can we talk about something else?”

“What do you want to talk about?”

“How much you love me?” I opened my eyes and grinned up at her. “And how much I want to make love to you.”

“There’s no way I’m going to make love to you in your hospital bed.” She giggled.

“Why not? We’re sinners anyway.” I raised an eyebrow at her.

“Yeah, but not sinners who have sex in a hospital.”

“That’s what makes it so exciting.”

“You’re so bad, Hudson.” She shook her head. “And no, I’m not having sex with you here. There is no way in hell that is going to happen.”

I changed the subject and grabbed her hand. “You know, when I was unconscious, I had a dream.”

“Not of us having hospital sex?” She rolled her eyes.

“No, silly.” I laughed. “I had a dream that we got married.”

“Oh.” Her voice was soft, and I could see the surprise in her eyes.

“Yeah. I had a dream that we were married and we had kids. Only, I didn’t realize I was dreaming. I thought I was dead. And it made me sad. I thought I’m going to miss out on so much. I realized that I had so much life to live. So many regrets to give up. I realized that I needed to forgive myself. I couldn’t hold on to that pain and guilt forever.”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“But I couldn’t quite seem to find my way out of the darkness. I thought, This is it. I’m trapped here.” My breath caught as I thought about what it had been like. “And then I heard an angel talking to me. It wasn’t the same sweet voice that had been speaking to me earlier. It was an angel that had wings and the face of the woman I loved. And as she kept talking to me, I felt something soft caressing me, like a butterfly. And I started warming up.”

“Oh.”

“And then the angel kissed me.” I caressed her cheeks and stared up at her, wondering how I had gotten so lucky. “And all of a sudden, the darkness was gone. And I knew as soon as I stared into her brown eyes that I had to make her mine.”

“Oh,” she repeated again breathlessly.

“Marry me, Riley. Please marry me. I don’t want to go another day without you in my life.”

“Oh, Hudson.” Tears fell from her eyes. “Of course I will marry you. I love you so much.”

“We’re in this together, my darling. You are my everlasting love.” I grabbed her around the waist and kissed her hard. “I don’t want to live life with any regrets any more. You’re the only one I’ve ever loved. You’ve been it for me forever. You’re my life, and I will spend my life showing you how much I love you.”

“You’re my everlasting love as well.” She kissed me hard. “And my everlasting sin.” She grinned, and I looked at the twinkle in her eye and then gasped as I felt her hand on my chest.

“Everlasting sin?”

“I’m going to make love to you,” she whispered in my ear. “Sit back and enjoy the ride, Mr. Blake.”

“I love you, Riley.”

“I know, my love. I know.” And then she winked at me and pushed me back.

I closed my eyes and laughed to myself. I’d never thought that when I’d picked on the little girl on the bus that one day we would eventually land up in love and about to spend the rest of our lives together. It seemed like it was the perfect ending to our story though. I was going to spend the rest of my life loving and protecting Riley. And I was going to have the time of my life making sure it was as good for her as it was for me.

FILTHY LITTLE LIES

Filthy Little Lies

J. S. Cooper

Part 2

Filthy Little Lies

Prologue

Life isn’t easy. Love isn’t easy. Fairy tales are books we read to children. Romance novels are books that make teenagers dream of love and happily ever afters. The world is full of filthy little lies. Men tell them. Women tell them. Relationships are made up of them. I’m here to tell you my story. This is my diary. This is my life. This is my absolute truth. Trust me, you can’t make this shit up.

Chapter 4

I’m not going to say my name, just in case this diary is found by someone. You can just call me “that girl” like everyone else in my life. Well, not everyone else, but a lot of people in my town. When I was younger, I was the girl everyone felt sorry for. Now, I’m just the girl everyone whispers about in the streets. Only they don’t even know me. My best friend, Natasha, thinks it’s ironic that so many women judge me and think they’re better than I am. If they only knew the real me, they wouldn’t be smirking quite so much.

First, you should know that I don’t care about many people. I would die for my best friend, Natasha, my other best friend, Tom, and my dog, Lulu the Great (even though she’s not that great when she’s pissing on my thousand-dollar rug). It might surprise you to hear that I have a boyfriend. A very handsome and very rich boyfriend. He pays for my apartment. A luxury apartment in the city. It costs him about six thousand dollars a month in rent. I know that because I get a kickback of two thousand a month from the landlord. Don’t ask me why or how. You and I, well, we don’t know each other well enough for me to be divulging all my secrets.

I suppose you want to know my boyfriend’s name? I can give you his first name, but if I give you his last name as well, you may figure out who he is. And I can’t have that.

Aiden is his name. Yes, like Aiden from Sex and the City, a show I loved. I always thought Carrie should have chosen Aiden as opposed to Mr. Big, but what do I know? I’m not really an expert in love. Aiden is thirty-three, and he has short, dark-brown hair and green eyes. I think he’s Irish-Italian, with his name coming from his Irish roots and his naturally tan skin coming from his Italian side. He calls it olive skin; I say tan. Olives are green and black. He’s neither of those.

I told you before that he’s hot, right? He looks like Tom Cruise’s taller and handsomer brother. The other plus is that he’s good in bed. And when I say good, I mean flip-me-over-and-do-me-again good. I never have to say no to him. I should say I never want to say no to him. It would be a perfect relationship—if things were different.

Natasha thinks Aiden is a jerk, and Tom thinks he’s not good enough for me. They’re both right, of course, but I don’t care. I get what I want from him. Even if it’s not a love connection. I don’t really believe in true love. I mean, how can one man and one woman fall in love and spend the rest of their lives together? I’ve never seen it work. Not once. I don’t know any happily married couples.

Natasha thinks I’m jaded. I know, I know. I talk about Natasha a lot. She’s important to me. She’s what I call a true friend. She’s one of those friends who makes you feel like you’ve won something in life. She’s the real deal: genuine, compassionate, non-judgmental, and always there for me.

Most people would assume that she is some loser to put up with me. But Natasha is most probably the best person you could ever meet. She’s beautiful, as in Hollywood beautiful, with long, blond hair, blue-green eyes, a tiny waist, and a sweet smile. She’s also brilliantly smart. She has a master’s degree from an Ivy League university and works as an analyst for a big Wall Street firm. She’s also married to her college boyfriend, Brad. I don’t like him very much, so I’m not going to dwell on him.

Natasha and I are both twenty-six. We’ve been friends since the first day of college and she’s never dropped or judged me. Not even when she went to her fancy school. We talk every day and she knows everything about me. Well, almost everything.

Tom is my other best friend. He’s that guy every girl should have in their lives. He can fix things and be a listening ear when I need one. He gives me the male perspective whenever I need one. Oh, and he used to be my lover. Well, not just used to be. We’re still friends with benefits. But that’s between us.

That’s one of the things Natasha doesn’t know. It’s not like it’s every week or even every month. Just sometimes when I need someone to hold me. I call him and he comes over. And his coming over usually leads to sex. Hot, passionate, no-holds-barred sex.

Don’t judge me. I know it looks bad that I have my friend come over and fuck me in the apartment my boyfriend pays for. I never said I was a good girl. I don’t think you could go through the things I have in life and be a good girl.

Tom’s handsome as well, with his black hair and hazel eyes. He’s not very successful, though. He’s a writer. And I guess writing doesn’t pay that well. But he loves it and I suppose that’s all that matters. To him, anyway. I could never be with a guy who couldn’t afford to buy me the finer things in life. What can I say? I’ve done poor. I don’t want to do it again.

And then there’s me. I already told you that I won’t tell you my name. But you can know what I look like. I’m above average height, about five eight to be exact. I’m slender, with long, black hair, big, brown eyes, and voluptuous boobs that may or may not be natural. I’m what men call an exotic beauty. I don’t know why, exactly. I’m not from anywhere special. I grew up in the Midwest. But I suppose what a handsome man wants to call you is his business. If they have money and are good in bed, I don’t care.

I suppose you think I’m a slut? I’m not, but I’ve heard that before. Usually, from jealous women. But what can I say? I love sex. Is there any other activity that can make your body shudder with the most exquisite pleasure known to mankind for free? I think not. Sex is like free chocolate every day of your life that doesn’t make you fat. In fact, it makes you skinnier. How cool is that?

Wow, I’ve been really talkative today. Usually, I like to keep to myself, but today I’m feeling like putting it all out there. Sometimes I think my life is a Lifetime movie. I mean, that’s how it feels. Like my first lover—let me tell you more about him.

The first time I had sex, I was eighteen years old and a senior in high school. His name was Andrew. I wasn’t always a good student in high school and my grades reflected that even though I never failed a class. However, I nearly failed chemistry. I just didn’t understand or care. How was I supposed to remember the periodic table? Hydrogen, helium, lithium—say what? Neutrons, electrons, atoms. I mean, really? When the teacher started saying that the air was made up of tiny atoms, he lost me. I couldn’t see shit, and if I can’t see it, I don’t believe it.

So, one afternoon, the teacher told me to wait after school. He said, “You’re going to fail this class and you’re going to have to repeat it.” Which meant I wouldn’t graduate on time. I thought my world was about to end.

This is the point where I’m guessing you think I’m going to say that Andrew was a cute boy in my class and he offered to tutor me and I ended up getting an A. If this was a cutesy piece of fiction, that’s most probably how this story would go. However, this is my life, and as you should know by now, my life isn’t cutesy. I did end up getting an A in the class and I did graduate on time, but that was because Andrew was my teacher and I gave him an offer he couldn’t refuse.

The Offer

“Mr. Matthews, can I speak to you after class?” I asked him, batting my eyelashes.

“Sure.” He glanced at me with a stern expression.

“Thank you.” I smiled back with my most seductive expression and spread my legs slowly.

Andrew’s eyes widened as he realized I didn’t have any panties on under my skirt.

“No problem.” His face looked flushed as he looked away.

I grinned to myself as I saw him peeking at me every couple of minutes. He stumbled and bumbled through class, and he was positively squirming when the bell rang.

“How can I help you, Ms. X?” he asked me once everyone had left the room.

“I’m having trouble understanding the assignments, Mr. Matthews.” I walked to his desk, swinging my hips slowly and pushing my breasts out. I heard him gasp as he realized that he could see my nipples through my white top. I’d pulled my bra off and put it in my bag as the other students exited the room.

“How can I help you understand?”

“I don’t know if I will ever get it!” I pouted and walked over to stand next to him. “I just feel like I’m never going to be good at chemistry.” I brushed my chest against his arms, and he jumped back.

“Maybe you can get a tutor?” He looked at me warily.

“Would you be my tutor?” I gazed up at him with wide eyes. “Please?”

“I don’t know.” He gazed down at me and swallowed hard.

“Please, Mr. Matthews.” I grabbed his hand then and brought it up to my right breast. His eyes widened as he realized what I was doing. “I think we’d both benefit from you being my tutor.”

He stood there for a second and mumbled something before pulling his hand away.

“There are many things I want you to teach me, Andrew.” I breathed softly and tried again.

This time, I grabbed his hand and lifted my skirt up. I placed his hand in between my legs and rubbed his fingers gently across my wetness. He breathed in sharply and his eyes widened.

“What are you doing?” he asked me sharply, but he didn’t move his fingers away.

“I just want to pass the class, Mr. Matthews.” I licked my lips slowly and closed my legs together.

“I don’t know what you expect me to do.” He stared back at me with confusion on his face. I knew that he had mixed emotions about what was going on.

“I think you do.” I leaned up and kissed him. “I think you do.”

“Shit.” He groaned, and I felt one of his fingers entering me.

I grinned against his mouth then. That was when I knew I had won. I would graduate, and I didn’t have to worry about my stupid chemistry class anymore.

I suppose you think what I did was cheap and wrong. But you’re the one who’s wrong. Andrew was a great first lover, and it was exhilarating finding new ways to have sex in school. If you only knew half of the things we did. We even had sex during class one day. I’m sure you’re trying to figure out how that happened. Maybe one day I’ll tell you.

However, this diary isn’t about Andrew and our crazy sexual adventure. This diary is about me and my crazy life. It’s about all the things I did that I can’t deny. It’s not pretty, but it’s all true. Aside from one thing. I lied about Aiden’s age. He’s not thirty-three. He’s a bit older than that. But that didn’t matter to me.

Not until that one day. Because that one day, I met a guy who seemed to see right through my soul. His name was Dominic. And Dominic was to be the undoing of me. You see, he was to become the first man I fell in love with. Only, falling in love doesn’t always mean rainbows and butterflies. This is the true story of my life and how love changed everything!

Chapter 15

If you didn’t already realize it, I like to have fun. Clean fun, dirty fun—I don’t care. I figure I might as well live my life to the fullest. That’s one thing Aiden likes about me. I’m not all over him like some desperate whore. And yeah, I said “likes” and not “loves.” I’m pretty sure Aiden doesn’t love me. Well, aside from every Saturday night when I say yes to whatever he wants to do. And he likes to do a lot.

Last weekend, he brought over a gag. It was different. I can’t say that it was my favorite. I’m not really a BDSM girl, but I do what he wants. He knows better than to whip me, though I’m always down for a good spanking. Some of my best orgasms have been after he’s spanked me. I actually have a pretty good story about one of the hottest times he spanked me. I’ll tell you if you promise not to judge me. I’ve already told you I’m not a good girl.

The Best Spanking of My Life

“Tom, you have to leave.” I tried pushing him through the door. “Now is not a good time.”

“But I need some of your sweet loving.” He grinned as his fingers found my butt and pushed me toward him.

“Not tonight.” I shook my head. “Come over tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow’s Sunday. You know that I like to go to Central Park and write on Sundays.”

“Then come over on Monday.”

“I don’t want to.” He leaned forward and kissed me.

Once his lips hit mine again, I couldn’t resist. Tom always tasted like home. I’m not sure why, but once he kissed me, I was putty in his hands.

“Tom.” I groaned as he lifted my top up. “What are you doing?”

“I’m undressing you.” He laughed as he quickly peeled my bra off. “So that I can make sweet love to you.”

“It’s not a good time.” I shook my head but found my fingers reaching for his pants. “Tom.” I groaned again as I felt his hard erection. “You have ten minutes.”

“Shh.” He picked me up and carried me to the bed before quickly pulling my panties and skirt off.

“Oh.” I moaned as he bent down and started licking my pussy.

His tongue traced circles as his lips sucked on my clit. I could feel my body trembling as his fingers reached up and pinched my nipples.

“Fuck!” I screamed as his tongue slowly entered me. I could feel my wetness on his face as he slowly teased me.

Ding dong.

I froze when the doorbell rang. I looked at the clock and sighed. Aiden was fifteen minutes early.

“You have to go in the closet!” I jumped up and pushed Tom.

He gave me a look and frowned. “What the fuck?”

“I told you, you had to leave.” I pushed him in. “Aiden’s here.”

“Fuck.” He groaned, and I nodded. Tom knew that Aiden was my boyfriend and the reason I was able to live in this apartment.

“Just keep quiet.” I quickly grabbed my robe and ran to open the front door.

“What took you so long?” Aiden walked into the living room and stared at me before slowly smiling as he took in my appearance. “Getting ready for me, were you?”

“Perhaps.” I laughed, and I gasped as he pushed aside my gown and shoved his fingers in between my legs.

“I’d say yes.” His fingers stroked my wetness before he pulled them out and sucked them while staring in my eyes. “I’d say you were more than getting yourself ready for me. You were trying to get yourself off.”

“What can I say? I was horny.” I raised an eyebrow at him, and he shook his head before kissing me hard.

I kissed him back and played with his hair, laughing to myself inside. That was the problem with powerful men like Aiden. They never thought that a woman would have the gumption to cheat on them, even though they cheated all the time. There was no doubt in his mind that I’d just been in the bedroom playing with myself. He had no clue that another man had just been going down on me. That another man was currently hiding in the closet as we spoke. It made me feel heady with power, and I shivered as I thought about how kinky the whole thing was. I told you—I’m fucked up.

“You’ve been a naughty girl. You need a spanking.” He walked me to the couch, but I shook my head.

“Let’s go to the bedroom and you can teach me a lesson there.” I grabbed his hand and escorted him to my room. I was oddly turned on by the fact that Tom was about to watch me with Aiden and Aiden didn’t even know.

“You love being a naughty girl, don’t you?” Aiden grabbed me by the waist and swung me around. “You like it when my hand smacks your ass.”

“Oh yes. Spank me!” I squealed.

This was indeed true. I did like it when he spanked me. He was never too hard, but he was hard enough that, when he rubbed me after a slap, it felt good. I wasn’t into hard, torturous pain, but I wasn’t going to say no to some nerve endings being heightened.

I ran away from Aiden and into the bedroom, and he caught up with me and pushed me onto the bed.

“You’re a bad girl.” His voice was deep as he stared down at me longingly.

I knew he was ready to fuck, and that was what I loved about being with him. Even though he was older, he could always get it up. I didn’t know if he was on Viagra or not, but he always had a hard-on ready to go.

“You’re a bad boy.” I reached up and pulled him down toward me. “And that’s why I want you to fuck me.” I played with his hair and laughed. “You need to dye it again. I’m seeing gray.” I played with his locks, and he frowned.

Aiden hated being reminded of his own mortality and age. I know, I know—you want to know. How old is he really? I know I told you he was thirty-three before. I didn’t want to shock you, but I think we’re past that now. Aiden is fifty. Did your jaw drop? Don’t knock fifty until you’ve been with a man like Aiden. He doesn’t look a day over forty and he’s got more energy than men half his age.

Aiden took me over his knee then, and I felt his hand hard against my butt as he spanked me. “That’s for saying I’m going gray,” he muttered and spanked me again.

I wiggled on his lap and groaned as I felt his fingers gently rub against me as he caressed my stinging ass. I heard a small gasp and knew that Tom could see everything. I opened my legs slightly to give him a better view.

“Are you enjoying this?” He spanked me again, and I closed my eyes as he continued with his foreplay.

“Yes, sir. No, sir. Three bags full, sir.”

“Impertinent little…” he growled, and I jumped up and pushed him back down on the bed.

“Impertinent little what?” I whispered as I quickly unzipped his pants.

His cock stood to attention as my mouth descended on him. I licked along his shaft and played with his balls, and I could feel his breathing growing heavy.

“Fuck. You know just how to turn me on.” He groaned as I continued to take him deep into my mouth.

“That’s why we’re so good together.” I laughed and then moaned as he flipped me onto my back. He jumped up, and I felt his hand rubbing my ass before smacking it again.

“You don’t suck me until I say you can.” He grunted at me, and I lay there smiling into the bed.

I thought it was funny when he tried to act dominant. Part of Aiden’s midlife crisis was his deciding to become an alpha male. Not that I minded. I liked it when a man took control.

“Uh-huh,” I whispered into the sheets. Then I groaned as I felt him smack me again and then slip two fingers into me.

I came as soon as his fingers entered me. I was already worked up from Tom’s tongue, and now Aiden had pushed me over the edge. Knowing that Tom was witnessing everything was the icing on the cake. I’ve often wondered why that was such a turn-on and I don’t know why. Tom and I have never discussed it. I mean, who was he to say anything to me? He wasn’t my boyfriend. And while Aiden was, it wasn’t like I was his one and only. Shit, to Aiden, I was a sexy plaything. Someone who gave him pleasure. And I was happy to be that person to him. Like I said before, I didn’t do love.

* * *

“Tell me three things you like about Aiden.” Natasha sat back smugly and grinned.

“He’s hot, he’s good in bed, and he has money. Lots of money.” I sipped on my Tequila Sunrise and grinned back at her. “He’s the reason why we’re sitting in the Red Lounge right now in a booth.”

I gestured to all the other girls who were dancing by the booths, hoping that some rich man would invite them to sit down. They were living the sucker’s life. I was no sucker. I wasn’t going to go to an exclusive club and hope that a man would see my beauty and deign to make me a VIP for the night. Only dumb girls did that.

Natasha looked back at me, unblinking. “Tell me three things that aren’t superficial.” That was what I liked about Natasha—she didn’t play nice or dumb. She cut straight to the point. It was funny how stuff like that worked. She saw everything around her clearly—except for what her husband, Brad, was truly like. She had blinders on where he was concerned.

“You think it’s superficial that he’s like dynamite in bed?” I raised an eyebrow at her, and she rolled her eyes.

At this point, you would think that she would get the hint. I wasn’t going to budge from my stance. I had never budged. It was always about sex for me. Love didn’t exist to me. I thought that romantic love was a farce. I mean, lust was where it’s at. How many men do you know who can keep it zipped up for fifty years married to one woman? I don’t know any.

“Come on. Don’t you want to fall in love?” She gave me one of her looks.

“No.” I shook my head, answering honestly. It was true. I didn’t care about falling in love. In fact, it was the one thing I dreaded most.

“Once you fall in love, you will realize that—”

“Natasha, I’m in love with Aiden’s dick!” I said loudly. “Is that good enough?”

The people in the booths next to us looked at me as if I were a criminal just escaped from prison. I looked back at them and smiled sweetly. I didn’t give a shit what they thought about me. Who were they?

“You’re too much. You know that, right?”

“That’s why you love me.” I jumped up onto the table and started dancing to the pulsating music. It was loud and it was fast, but I moved my body slowly, gyrating my hips as I moved to the ground and back up.

As I danced, I noticed a guy standing next to the bar, staring at me. I closed my eyes, moved my hips even more sensuously, and shook my hair. I opened my eyes again and saw that the guy had moved to a position even closer to me and was watching me openly.

He was pretty cute. Maybe six feet tall, with bulging muscles and a thick head of straight, black hair that had been recently gelled. He looked like he was an Italian bonehead, but who was I to judge?

We made eye contact, and he gave me a small nod and a smile. I turned away from him then and continued dancing. I looked down at Natasha and she was laughing at me. That was what I loved about her. She was one of the girls who always had my back no matter what I did.

I pulled my top off then and threw it into her lap. Her eyes widened as I danced in my half-cup Victoria’s Secret push-up bra. I felt my breasts bouncing as I danced and I grinned to myself. I could see about five other guys staring at me now, hoping for an accident. I reached down, grabbed my breasts, squeezed them as I danced, and closed my eyes.

It was only about a minute before the Italian stud walked up and grabbed me off the table.

“Hey, what are you doing, big boy?” I whispered up at him breathlessly.

And no, I wasn’t breathless or taken away by him coming and grabbing me. I really wanted to say, “What took you so long?” but a lesson I’ve learned is that you have to make the man feel like he’s in control. He needs to feel like he’s the one making decisions. He chose me. He doesn’t want to know that I’d spotted him from across the bar, jumped up on the table to turn him on with my dance, and sealed the deal by taking my shirt off and grabbing my breasts.

Let’s be real—grabbing my own breasts does nothing for me. I clean them every fucking day in the shower. You think I wanna orgasm every time I check them out? But that’s part of the fantasy for men. They think that what they wanna do is what you wanna do.

“What’s your name?” he growled into my ear as he carried me to the wall at the side of the bar.

I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me. I liked a strong man. I wasn’t light as a feather either, so he had to be bench-pressing a good amount.

“On legs,” I whispered, and he frowned.

“Sorry. Did you say on legs?” he repeated, and I grinned.

“Yeah, I’m sex on legs.”

“Sex on legs?” he repeated like a dummy for a minute. “Oh.” He grinned as it dawned on him. “Nice to meet you, Ms. Sexy.”

“You too, Rambo.”

“Sorry, what?”

“You’re Rambo for the night.” I reached up and caressed his hair. “Every Italian stud is Rambo in my eyes.”

“My name’s Antonio.”

I wanted to laugh in his face. As if I cared that his real name was Antonio. He was cute enough, but I could tell from his watch, shoes, and cologne that he wasn’t a guy I needed in my life. I was pretty sure his whole outfit cost less than my bag.

“So, Rambo, what’s the plan for the night?”

“Wanna go back to my place?”

“No.” I made a face. I had a feeling that he was from the Bronx. And there was no way I was going back to the Bronx.

“We can go back to your place.” He looked at me eagerly, probably figuring out that I didn’t live in the Bronx and was getting excited about living it up for a night.

“Hell no.” I shook my head.

“So what, then?” He looked annoyed, probably thinking that he’d carried me for nothing.

I could feel his hardness pressed up against me and I was pleasantly surprised by the size of him.

“Don’t tell me you’re just being a teasing bitch.”

Okay, just so you know—no one calls me a bitch. It’s one of those words that gets my juices burning. There was no way I was going to let Rambo get away with calling me a bitch, but I’m smart enough to not get angry right away. What does that serve? If I gave him a slap and walked away, he’d be like, “Stupid bitch,” and move on. No, I was going to teach him a lesson.

“I’m not a tease.” I giggled up at him and pressed my boobs against his chest while reaching down and grabbing him through his jeans.

His body went still with shock and pleasure. I know that I said earlier, “Don’t show a guy that you can take charge,” but that’s while he’s still pursuing you. Once you’re with him, you should go in for the attack. Show him who’s boss. Take what you want. Trust me, with most men, you’d better know what you like and how to get off or you’re going to be suffering through some boring sex for a long time. “In out, in out” doesn’t get anyone off if he’s not doing it right.

“So what you got planned if you don’t wanna go to my place or your place?” he muttered, and I tried to hide my distaste.

At this point, any classy guy would say, “Let me take you to a hotel,” and if it’s the Ritz Carlton or Trump International, he’s got a good chance of hearing me say yes.

“Who says we have to go anywhere?” I leaned up and kissed him. His lips were soft and tasted like gin—not my favorite taste, but it wouldn’t make me puke.

“I like where you’re going with this.” He looked down into my eyes, and I felt his fingers fumbling around at the back of my bra.

His tongue entered my mouth as he finally got the bra undone, and I was pleasantly surprised that he was a good kisser even if his fingers weren’t the deftest. He pushed me forward slightly and pulled up my bra. I shivered slightly as the cold air hit my skin but didn’t hide my naked breasts from him or from the two guys who were standing next to us and gaping. I gave them a small smile as I pressed my breasts into Rambo’s chest. I turned slightly to make sure Natasha was okay, and I saw her laughing and texting on her phone.

“What are you doing?” Rambo frowned as I turned around.

“I want to dance.” I started moving my ass against his crotch as his fingers reached up and grabbed my breasts gingerly.

I knew he wasn’t prepared for this. It was okay for me to be dancing by myself in public, but I knew he felt uncomfortable with our public display. My naked breasts were bouncing for all the room to see and his fondling of them showed his discomfort. I grinned as I moved. I was taking all the power away from him and he didn’t even know it. I felt bad for Rambo. In all likelihood, I would have gone into the bathroom with him for a quickie, but he’d ruined that opportunity with one word. I was about to show him what a bitch could really do.

The guys next to me were entranced by us both now. I knew that it would only be minutes before everyone knew what was up and I was getting kicked out, so I got to work quickly.

“Hey, big boy. Why don’t you show me what you’re working with?” I turned around and fluttered my eyelashes at him.

“Working with?” He frowned again, and I realized that he was way too slow for me.

I kept the smile on my face and reached my hands down his pants. “How big is your cock?”

“Uh, I don’t know.” He shrugged, and I could see his face going red. Pussy!

“I’d say about seven inches, big boy.” I squeezed him and ran my fingers down his girth.

“Uh—”

“Shh.” I leaned forward and kissed him. I didn’t think I’d be able to fake it for much longer. I unzipped his pants and pulled them down slightly.

“What are you doing?” He grabbed my hands to stop me.

“I want you to fuck me from behind.”

“Here?” He looked around, and I could hear the panic in his voice.

“Why not?” I grinned and pressed my breasts against his chest again.

“Uh, I…” he started, and I just yanked his pants down.

His cock stood to attention, and I stood in front of him and started dancing again. He grabbed my breasts and then started to massage my butt. One of the guys next to us looked like he was going to faint in shock and I winked at him before quickly grabbing his drink. I took a sip and then slowly turned around before pouring the drink over Rambo’s hard cock and pants.

“What the fuck?” He jumped back, angry.

“What?” I laughed, pulled my top back on, and grabbed my bra. “That’s what us bitches do.” I smiled sweetly at him and walked away, swinging my hips as I walked back to my booth. I collapsed next to Natasha and started laughing.

“Did you just fuck that guy?” she asked, not looking surprised.

“Nah, he missed out.” I shook my head.

“You shouldn’t be picking up strange guys in clubs.”

“Yes, Mom.” I rolled my eyes.

“You know that’s not cool.”

“Yawn.” I fluttered my fingers in front of my mouth.

“I wish you would find a guy and settle down like me and Brad have.”

“I don’t want a Brad.” I shivered as I thought about her husband.

“I want you to find love.”

“I’ve got love.” I grinned and hugged her to me. “I’ve got you.”

“Is that your bra?” She looked down at my lap.

“Uh-huh.”

“Why don’t you have your bra on?”

“I don’t know.” I grinned at her.

“You did fuck him.” Her eyes widened, and I shook my head.

“Nope.”

“Liar.”

“I don’t lie.” At least I tried not to lie to Natasha. I figured that lies to your best friend weren’t worth it.

“What am I going to do with you?” She shook her head and laughed as she stared at me.

“Buy me another drink.” I grinned at her impishly.

“How about I buy you a drink?” A smooth voice interrupted our conversation, and I turned to see who had spoken. I was annoyed that a man had been listening to us talking and I hadn’t known.

As I looked into the guy’s blue-green eyes, I felt my heart stop for one brief second. There was a twinkle in his eyes and he had a devilish smile on his handsome face.

“I don’t think so.” I turned away from him and shook my head, trying to forget his handsome face.

“I don’t bite,” he said. “Unless you want me to.”

“What?” I frowned and stared at him.

“I don’t bite. What would you like to drink?”

“Nothing.” I turned back to Natasha, who was grinning at me.

“I’m Dominic, by the way. In case you wanted to know.”

“I don’t,” I muttered without turning back to him.

“What’s your name?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“That’s why I asked,” he continued, and I tried not to laugh.

That was the first time I met Dominic. I wish I could tell you that it was the day that I started to believe in love. I wish I could say that I turned around, accepted that drink, and rode into the sunset together. I wish I could tell you that it was the night where I suddenly realized that I could have the fairy tale. But it wasn’t.

That was the night that the beginning of the end began. That was the night that started a chain of events that changed my life forever. Dominic was a catalyst in my life—that is true. He was the man who changed everything. He was the man who made me lose myself even more than I’d been lost. And I have no one to blame but myself.

Chapter 16

I don’t care about love. It means nothing to me. I’ve told you that already. Men, for the most part, can’t be trusted. I know that. You know that. They know that. Do you know how many husbands I see at the club trying to get into my pants? As if I can’t see the tan line on their finger from where they’ve taken their wedding ring off. It’s shameful. Love is a charade. A charade that men go along with so they can treat women like crap and get away with it.

I sound bitter, don’t I? What got in this bitch’s bonnet? Is what you’re thinking right now, right? Look, we’re not friends and I don’t care what you think of me, but I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I do care about love, just a little bit. It’s not an everyday thing. I don’t walk down the streets looking for Mr. Right. I’m not online looking at rings, daydreaming of getting married on some white sand beach in St. Barts.

No, it hits me when I’m in bed late at night and I realize I’m all alone. Sometimes it hits me and I think, Is this it? That’s a powerful moment. We’ve all experienced it at some point. “Is this my life?” It’s scary. Not only because you realize you’re not fulfilled but also because you don’t know what to do to fix it.

Sometimes I think, maybe a husband would provide me the security and the happiness I’m searching for. Maybe a man could fill that void. Then I think of all the problems that men bring with them and I know that’s not it.

I know it’s not a baby, either. Don’t get me wrong, babies are cute, but I need my sleep. Long, deep hours of slumber are the only way I can survive. That was until I met Dominic. He turned my every thought and emotion on its head.

The Day Dominic Found Out My Name

If you believe in things like fate—which I don’t, by the way—you’ll think that my meeting Dominic at the coffee shop was a sign that we were meant to be together. I mean, he’s hot, I’m hot—what more could one want, right?

Everything seemed to go in slow motion that morning. I’d woken up feeling tired and uneasy. I’d rolled out of bed and pulled on a T-shirt and jeans without even thinking of makeup or underwear. I hadn’t even brushed my hair, just scooped it up into a ponytail. For some reason, I just needed to get out of the apartment. I wanted fresh air and a hot cup of freshly brewed coffee.

Being that I’m not one of those girls into running every morning, I decided to go to the Starbucks at the corner of the street and not the gourmet coffee shop about three blocks away. What can I say? If I don’t have to walk too far, I’m not going to. I ordered a white chocolate mocha. I know, I know. Who has a white chocolate mocha when they are in need of a coffee fix? Then I waited for my drink as patiently as possible.

I knew the minute he walked into the store. It was as if someone had reached out and pricked me with a pin. I felt a short, quick jab of pain. And then I saw him. His eyes looked surprised when he saw me. Surprised, but happy. He came over to me right away. I was taken aback by the hug he gave me.

“Imagine seeing you again.”

“You’d think we lived in the same city or something.” I raised an eyebrow at him, and he laughed.

“You look different.”

“From what? Other human beings?”

“From the night I saw you at the club.”

“Oh, because I have on clothes?”

“No, because you have on no makeup.” He surveyed my face and smiled. “You’re pretty without makeup.”

“Should I say thank you now? Should I preen up at you and blink my eyelashes?”

“If you want.” He grinned down at me, his aquamarine eyes shining, and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling back at him. “So what’s your name, Ms. Pretty With No Makeup On?”

“That’s for me to know.” I looked away from him, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

I’d never had it this easy and carefree before. I didn’t like it. I needed to know why a man was into me. I needed to know what he wanted. I didn’t know what he wanted.

“Want to sit together?”

I rolled my eyes at him. “You haven’t even ordered as yet.”

“I’ll order, then we can sit and chat like two normal adults.”

“I’m not normal.”

“I’ve gathered that.” His eyes crinkled, and I watched as he ran his hands through his damp, dark brown hair.

“Are you saying I’m weird?” I frowned, and that’s when it happened.

“Saskia!” the stupid barista shouted out, and I froze. “Saskia.”

“Is that your name?” He grinned at me. “I like that. I like Saskia.”

And that was it. My secret was out. I guess you know, too, now. My name is Saskia. I’ll keep my last name private. A girl’s got to keep something to herself, right?

I wish I could tell you that what happened next was something from a movie. That we went and sat down and had coffee and fell in love, slowly but surely, reveling in the wonders of each other. That’s not what happened.

Dominic went and got his drink, and I waited for him. We sat down at a table, and within a few minutes, my right foot was out of my sandal and in his crotch, rubbing him gently. He didn’t even look surprised. I’ll give him that. I suppose when you’re tall, hot, and loaded (I could tell he was loaded by his twenty-thousand-dollar Rolex and his five-thousand-dollar Italian leather shoes), women are all over you. He grabbed my foot as I continued caressing his growing hardness and started massaging it, caressing my arches and kneading my pressure points.

I saw a couple of people staring at us, but neither of us cared. They were just jealous. Who wouldn’t want to get a foot massage in a Starbucks? Of course, it was all too comfortable and sweet. You should know that by now. So I leaned forward, grabbed his shirt, and pulled him toward me.

“Meet me in the bathroom in three minutes. The code is 34568. I’ll leave it unlocked.” I pulled my foot back, placed it back into my shoe, and stood up slowly, giving him a wide smile before slowly licking my lips and walking to the bathroom.

Now, you should know that there are two kinds of girls that have casual sex. The ones who hope the casual sex becomes a relationship and the ones like me who don’t give a fuck. We just want it hot and fast and we don’t care if we ever hear from the guy again. Men don’t get us. They expect all of us women to be clingy and hinting to see each other again, and the worst is when we go for declarations of love. When a woman is like a man and just takes what she wants, she makes the man uncomfortable. I love making men uncomfortable. And I very much wanted to make Dominic uncomfortable because he was making me feel things I’d never felt before.

* * *

“I’m here.” He entered the bathroom, staring at me with wide eyes. I grinned at the shock in his expression. “What if someone else had entered?” He stared at my naked body in shock.

“Just shut up.” I swiftly moved toward him and ran my fingers down his chest as I kissed him.

He passionately kissed me back and pushed me back into the sink. His fingers found my breasts and squeezed, gently playing with my nipples as he cupped them. I reached down to his pants and unzipped him, eagerly pulling his hard cock out. I moaned against him as I felt his fingers playing with my clit. I was already wet, and all I could think about was feeling him inside me.

He rubbed his cock against me and I closed my legs, hoping to feel him slide up inside me. This is what I liked about hot and quick fucks. There were no games. There was no playing around. You just got straight to the point.

“Not yet, Saskia.” He laughed, turned me around, and slapped my ass a few times. “Like that, do you?”

“Shut up, you sadist.” I laughed and bent over the sink. “Just fuck me.”

“Okay.” He grabbed my hips, pulled my ass back to him, and then quickly entered me. “Shit, you feel so good,” he said, moaning as his cock slid in and out of me roughly.

I moaned in response to him and looked into the mirror in front of me. Our eyes met, and we both stared at the other as he continued to fuck me hard. I watched as my breasts jiggled against the sink and then as his fingers reached around to play with them.

“I’m nearly about to come.” He grunted. “Are you?”

“No.” I shook my head, and he moaned.

Then he reached his fingers down and started playing with my clit as he continued to fuck me. I immediately felt my walls tensing as my orgasm built up.

“Oh yeah!” I screamed as his cock slammed in and out of me while his fingers rubbed me furiously. “Just keep rubbing,” I commanded him, not wanting him to stop either action.

“Fuck, I’m about to come!” he shouted, and I felt his body shuddering as he released inside me.

My body started trembling about twenty seconds later as his fingers brought me to orgasm as well.

“I’m coming!” I screamed loudly as our bodies shuddered together.

BANG BANG.

The door opened and a man in a Starbucks uniform walked in.

“What is going on in here?” He looked pissed, and I watched as he stared at us. I gave him a small grin and gyrated my hips against Dominic. “Get the fuck out of my store or I’ll call the police.”

“Yes, sir.” I squeezed my breasts together as he stared at me. “Sorry.”

“You have two minutes.” His face was red, but his eyes never left my breasts.

I gave my nipples a quick squeeze for his benefit. “Sure.” I laughed, and he walked out.

I pulled away from Dominic, quickly grabbed my clothes, and pulled them on. Dominic had a dazed expression on his face as if he couldn’t understand what had just happened. I smiled to myself as I walked out of the bathroom with him following me. I felt like I was in charge again, and that was how I liked it.

* * *

“Will I see you again?” He looked at me casually as we quickly left the store, both of us grinning as the manager shouted.

“I don’t think so.” I shook my head and tried not to think about how good he had felt inside me.

“I’m going away next weekend.” He made a face. “Family get-together, even though Dad is bringing work home with him.”

“I don’t care.” I shrugged and looked away.

“But maybe we can get together the weekend after that?”

“No.” I sighed and looked at him. “Thanks for the fuck, but I’m not interested. I don’t want to date. I don’t want to get to know you. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“You don’t want another hot fuck?” he whispered in my ear. “Next time, it could be somewhere crazy, like the train.”

“The train?” I paused and looked up at him, willing my heart to stop beating so fast. “You want to fuck on the train?”

“Why not?” He shrugged, but I could see the huge grin on his face that he couldn’t hide. “Shit, I’m not going to beg you to date me if all you want to do is fuck. I’m down for whatever.”

Note to self and note to you—if a guy says that he is down for whatever, it means that he likes you. It means that he will try to be with you any way he can. It means that he wants to try to worm his way into your heart. I didn’t know that then. I wish I had known that then.

“Fine. We’ll fuck on the train. Wednesday.” My words were short.

“Can I get your number?”

“No.”

“How can we coordinate it?”

“Give me yours.” I handed him my phone and waited for him to input it. “I’ll text you on Wednesday an hour before I catch the train telling you which train and what time. You can’t make it or you don’t make it, then that’s it.”

“I do work, you know.” He smiled at me. “I have business meetings I—”

“I don’t give a fuck.” I smiled at him sweetly. “We do this, we do it by my rules.”

“Okay. So Wednesday, I’ll be on high alert.”

“Good for you.”

“Maybe you’ll let me buy you lunch or dinner or whatever after.”

“I wouldn’t count on it.”

“You’re a hard girl to get to know.” He shook his head at me as we stood on the corner.

“I have a boyfriend.” I wasn’t sure why I told him. Maybe because I wanted to make him feel bad. Or maybe because I didn’t want him to pursue me anymore. Maybe I wanted him to think I was a slut so he wouldn’t keep giving me those smiles.

“I guess he’s not doing something right.” He laughed, though I could see from the look in his eyes that he was taken aback.

“Actually, he fucks me like he was made to do it.” I grinned at him and ran my fingers down his chest. “I think I orgasm every single time from his cock alone.”

He stared back at me then, and I could see that he was angry or offended or whatever handsome guys get when you subtly put them down.

“I don’t know what happened to you, Saskia. Why you have this wall up, but I’m determined to figure you out. I’m determined to show you that all men aren’t scum.”

“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes.

“My parents have a great marriage. They’ve been together for over thirty years now and they are still very much in love.”

“Well, bully for them.” I leaned over and kissed him softly. “But now I have to go. Wait for my call.”

And then I walked away. I could feel him watching me keenly. I hurried, my heart racing. I was scared. He had reacted in a way I hadn’t expected.

I reached my apartment building and opened the door quickly and called Tom.

“Hey. What are you doing?” I asked sweetly as soon as he picked up.

“I was about to take that girl, Alice, out on a lunch date. You remember her from the party a few nights ago?”

“Oh yeah. The cute girl with the short, blond hair?”

“Yeah. We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks now. I think it could go somewhere—”

“I need you to cancel,” I interrupted him. “I need you to come over.”

“Now?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” He hung up, and I sat back on the couch.

I wish I could tell you that I felt bad for Alice. She had no idea that the guy she was seeing was about to ditch her so he could come and fuck me. She had no idea that I had him wrapped around my little finger. She’d seemed like a nice enough girl, but that wasn’t my problem. What Tom did in his personal life was his business. I just knew that when I needed someone to fuck and hold me, Tom was the one to call.

He always made everything feel all right. Or rather, he made me forget my own problems. He was good for me that way. Or maybe he was just really bad for me. I don’t know. And I really didn’t care. I liked things to be numb. Numb was safe. Numb didn’t make you feel like you wanted to die.

Tom arrived quickly. He always did. I suppose I was his drug as much as he was mine. I don’t even think he told Alice he was ditching her because his phone rang and rang and rang as we fucked on the living room floor. I glanced at it, saw her name, and closed my eyes as I gripped the rug. That had been a mistake.

As soon as I closed my eyes, I saw Dominic’s face. I imagined that it was him sliding in and out of me, holding on to my hips tightly. I quickly opened my eyes to forget his image, but I couldn’t. He had already worked his way into my psyche.

I screamed as I orgasmed, my body enjoying the release, but mentally, all I could think about was Wednesday. Wednesday would be exciting and fun. Wednesday, I’d get to fuck Dominic again. Wednesday, I’d get to stop the numbness and feel alive.

I froze as I realized that, for the first time in my life, I was actually looking forward to seeing a man.

I should have known then that something was going to go wrong. I should have known that Dominic, with all of his bravado and concern, wouldn’t be able to accept everything. I should have known that no one is immune to love.

If only I’d decided to not text him that Wednesday. If I hadn’t texted him, maybe everything in my life would still be okay. Unfortunately, I messed up, and I did text. In fact, I texted before Wednesday. Those texts marked the beginning of the end for me. And it all started with a simple, “What are you doing?”

Chapter 17

Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me. I mean, I have to have some sort of psychological problems, right? Unless I’m a sociopath. Though I don’t like blood and the thought of harming someone physically makes me feel sick. So, I suppose that means I can’t be a sociopath, right? No need to answer that. I doubt you know what my problem is, either.

I texted Dominic on Monday all day. I hadn’t meant to. It just sort of happened. I told myself that it was nothing and that I was bored. It’s boring being a kept woman. There are only so many shoes you can buy. Trust me, I know.

I was also feeling nervous—something I didn’t really feel. Aiden had stepped things up a bit. He wanted me to travel with him the next weekend. He said that I would be his assistant. Well, that was the official story. I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to have to go anywhere and have to lie, but it wasn’t up to me.

He would pick me up Friday night and we were going to some work event or something. I didn’t care that he wouldn’t introduce me as his girlfriend. I knew why he couldn’t. I knew why and it didn’t matter to me. I guess I’m a cold-hearted bitch like that. Well, I’m starting to think that I’m not so cold-hearted.

Meeting Dominic changed something in me. What can I say about Dominic that doesn’t sound cliché or puke worthy? I guess I could tell you that he makes me laugh. He makes me laugh good, old-fashioned, rip-roaring laughs that make my sides ache and my throat sore. He has a way with words. A way that’s self-deprecating and amusing at the same time. He’s complimentary, but he doesn’t try too hard. It feels natural with him. As natural as anything can feel to me.

And he loves sex. And he’s not ashamed to admit it. I’d never sexted with anyone before. I know, you’re shocked. How can I, queen of liberal sex, not have sexted? Well, I hadn’t. Though now that I know what I was missing, that might change.

The First Time I Sexted

Dominic: What you up to?

Me: What do you care?

Dominic: I’ve been thinking about you.

Me: Oh?

Dominic: The bathroom scene keeps replaying in my mind.

Me: What bathroom scene?

Dominic: The one where I fucked you in Starbucks.

Me: I forgot, sorry.

Dominic: You won’t forget me on the train.

Me: The train?

Dominic: You’ll see.

Me: Will I?

Dominic: I hope so.

Me: Don’t bet on it.

Five minutes passed, and I wondered if he was upset.

Me: You alive?

Dominic: Why?

Me: Just checking.

Dominic: Thinking about me?

Me: Nope, sorry.

Dominic: I’m thinking about you.

Me: Ok.

Dominic: Wanna see?

Me: See what?

Dominic: This {attached image of the head on his cock}

Me: You just been in the shower?

Dominic: Why?

Dominic: Ha ha, funny.

Me: I’m glad you got that before I had to explain.

Dominic: You weren’t complaining about the size when I fucked you.

Me: You’re crude.

Dominic: I’m always crude when I masturbate.

Me: What?

Dominic: Send me a photo.

Me: Photo of what?

Dominic: Your breasts?

Dominic: Your pussy.

Dominic: Your fingers on your pussy.

Dominic: A dildo in your pussy.

Me: I get it.

Dominic: I’m waiting.

Ten minutes passed, and I stared at the phone, wondering if I’d submit to his demand.

Dominic: Did I make you mad?

Dominic: Are you still going to let me fuck you on the train?

Me: You’re obsessed with sex.

Dominic: I don’t think you want to hear me talk about wanting to take you out to dinner.

Me: I’m not good enough for dinner?

Dominic: You’re plenty good enough for dinner.

Me: Perv.

Dominic: Send me a photo of your fingers pinching your nipples.

Me: You wish.

Dominic: Come over.

Me: You’re too handsome to be this desperate.

Dominic: You’re too pretty to be a slut.

I have to admit that my heart stopped for a second then and I looked at the phone in anger. I felt hard and cold. I lay there for a second, confused at myself. I’d never been upset at being called a slut before. The word meant nothing to me. Words like that meant nothing. I knew who I was. And no one could tell me anything different.

Dominic: I’m sorry.

Dominic: Talk to me.

Dominic: Please.

Dominic: Fine, I’ll whack off without your help.

Me: You’re a jerk.

Dominic: You wouldn’t talk to me if I wasn’t.

Me: I have a boyfriend.

Dominic: You don’t love him.

Me: I don’t believe in love.

Dominic: You haven’t dated me as yet :)

Me: Fine {attached photo of my breasts}

Dominic: I just came thinking about sucking your nipples.

Me: Sure.

Dominic: See {attached photo of his cock with cum covering the tip}

Me: Nice.

Dominic: You’re turned on, aren’t you?

Me: No.

Dominic: Touch yourself.

Me: No.

Dominic: Close your eyes and imagine my fingers are there.

Me: No.

Dominic: How does it feel?

Dominic: Stuck in the moment?

Dominic: Wishing it was me playing with you instead?

Dominic: If I was there, I’d have you on all fours and I’d be fucking you from behind.

Dominic: Did you fall asleep?

An hour later.

Dominic: Where did you go?

Me: Sorry, my boyfriend just came over and fucked me. I don’t need to masturbate over the phone.

Dominic: You totally just played with yourself thinking of me, didn’t you?

Dominic: Are you going back for round two?

Dominic: I am! :)

Me: I’ll see you on the train.

Dominic: Don’t wear any panties.

Me: I won’t.

Dominic: So tell me, did you really just fuck or were you thinking of me?

Me: You’ll never know.

I turned off my phone without waiting for a response from him and closed my eyes. I slipped my fingers back into my panties and imagined Dominic on top of me. I moaned softly as I thought about the photo he’d sent me with his large cock. I could imagine it slowly sliding in and out of me. I groaned as I felt my body tensing up again.

I froze as I realized what I was doing. I was fantasizing about a guy. I never did that. Fantasies were never about men I knew. They could never be about men I knew. It was okay to have sex with them. That was real. That was physical. That was instinctive. Fantasies got you in trouble.

I got off of my bed, ran into the bathroom, and took a shower. I didn’t want to think of Dominic. He was absolutely nothing to me. Absolutely nothing.

I suppose now is the time that you’re wondering, Why is Saskia so messed up? Right? You’re wondering, but you don’t really want to know. No one does—not really. You don’t want to know that my father is my uncle! Do you? How fucked up is that, right? My mom slept with her sister’s husband after they were married. Though I can’t say I blamed her. He had been her high school boyfriend. He’d cheated on my mom with her sister. She’d dumped his ass when she’d found out. He then married her sister and then he and my mom started sleeping with each other again. Then she got pregnant.

Everyone found out what had happened. You’d think my dad would be the one who was ostracized, right? Let’s just say that my mom and I found ourselves in Section 8 housing and on food stamps with no one in the family talking to either of us. Not that I knew or cared. I was a baby.

I hate telling my story. Every girl who fucks around has daddy issues. I hate it. I don’t want to be that statistic. I don’t want to be the girl who can’t love because her father is her uncle and her mom sleeps all day and smokes weed all night. Who wants to be that statistic? And to be fair, I’m not that girl. I’m not fucked up because of my parents, though I should be. I’m fucked up for another reason entirely. But I don’t want to talk about that. Not now.

I suppose you’re wondering how I can just sleep around. All these different men, Saskia. Are you judging me? Are you, bitch? I don’t take well to people judging me. Who the fuck cares who I sleep with? So I have a boyfriend, a friend with benefits, a new hookup, and random sex with strangers. What’s it to you?

I know I’m being dumb. Trust me. I worry about getting pregnant all the time. And I worry about STDs. I do.

I know what you’re thinking. How worried can I be if I still have random sex? I ask myself that every time I have a scare. I go to the free clinic every month, though. And I buy condoms. I just don’t always remember to use them.

I know. You can judge me now. I’m dumb as fuck. I’m irresponsible. I’m a health hazard to myself and others. But some days, I just don’t care.

Well, now I do. What made me change? Dominic, of course. It had to be Dominic. Life’s funny like that. It always brings you that one person who changes everything. People call that person the game changer. That’s the man or woman who changes everything you think about love and life. That’s the person who makes you want to be a better person. I suppose it had to happen, right? That’s the beauty of life. We all meet that person. And well, for someone like me, it had to be Dominic. It could only have been Dominic. That’s karma for you!

* * *

Wednesday came, and I was excited. It made me nervous being so excited. I mean, I never got excited. Excited means that you care and I don’t care. I never cared. But when Dominic’s text came, I almost squealed.

Dominic: Catch the 1 train at 5 pm from 50th. I’m going to get on at 116th Street. Get into the second car. Don’t look for me. I’ll find you.

Me: Don’t look for you?

Dominic: You’ll feel me before you see me.

Me: I see.

Dominic: Don’t forget, no panties.

Me: Only if you wear no pants.

Dominic: You wish.

Me: It’s only fair.

Dominic: I’m excited to see you.

Me: How excited?

Dominic: I’m harder than stale bread.

I burst out laughing then. No one had ever made me laugh so much before.

Dominic: I hope I didn’t scare you off.

Me: Think before you text.

Dominic: Are we crazy?

Me: What do you think?

Dominic: I think I’m crazy about you.

Me: You don’t know me.

Dominic: Do I need to?

Me: I’ll see you on the train.

Dominic: The hand you feel on your ass will be mine.

Me: It better be. I hate taking trains.

Dominic: Aww, slumming for me?

Me: Slumming with you, yes.

Dominic: I wish I could spend this weekend with you.

Me: I’m going out of town.

Dominic: So am I.

Me: Good for you.

Dominic: My parents wouldn’t approve of you.

Me: And I care because?

Dominic: I don’t care either.

Me: Uh-huh.

Dominic: I’d give up my inheritance for you.

Me: All $10.

Dominic: All $100 Million, yes.

Holy shit! His family was worth a $100 million?

Dominic: Don’t tell me I scared you off because I’m rich.

Me: You can’t scare a gold digger off.

Dominic: You’re not a gold digger, and even if you were, I wouldn’t care.

I turned off my phone then and put it in my handbag. His comments were making me think things I really didn’t want to think. This was about sex. Not cutesy comments and loaded reassurances. It was all about sex, sex, sex. I needed to remind myself of that fact.

* * *

“Come here often?” he whispered in my ear as his hand massaged my ass through my skirt.

I didn’t answer him and I didn’t look at him. I could see an old man staring at us, and I just smiled to myself.

“Oh, so we’re playing it as strangers?” he whispered, and I felt his tongue inside my ear.

Once again, I didn’t move, and I could tell that excited him because his breathing was heavy. His hands continued to squeeze my butt, and I pretended that I didn’t feel it.

We stood like that for a few minutes before the train stopped in the tunnel and everything went black.

Some people started complaining, but I found myself grinning as his fingers eagerly lifted up my skirt. He pushed his hands between my legs and started gently rubbing me.

“You’re so wet.” He groaned as he stuck two fingers inside me, and I could feel my body trembling at his touch. “You’re a dirty girl, aren’t you?” He withdrew his fingers and pulled me back toward him.

I felt his hardness pushed up against my ass, and I reached behind and grabbed him. He groaned out loud, and suddenly, it went quiet in the carriage.

“Did you hear that?” one lady spoke in the darkness.

“I think someone is fucking,” a man said crudely.

Dominic’s fingers crept up under my shirt and started playing with my nipples. I rubbed my ass back into him and felt him undoing his zipper and taking his manhood out.

“Bend over,” he spoke loudly, and I flushed in the dark. Now everyone knew that two people were definitely having sex.

“What did you say, Gerry?” an older-sounding lady asked.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Back that ass up,” Dominic said loudly, and I heard someone gasp.

I shivered as I realized what we were doing, but I bent over and backed my ass into him.

“Good girl.” He pulled my hips toward him and I felt his cock enter me with such force that I fell forward slightly.

“Ooh!” I cried out, not bothering to be quiet.

“Omg, someone is definitely fucking,” the man said again.

Dominic paused then and started moving slowly. His cock moved in and out of me, teasing every inch of me, and I could feel myself getting wetter and wetter.

“Go faster!” I gasped.

“What?” I could hear the grin in his voice.

“Go faster!” I shouted, and I heard a collective gasp. I didn’t care though because his cock was slamming into me so hard that I couldn’t even think properly. “I’m going to come!” I screamed and moaned as I felt him coming inside of me as I orgasmed.

The train started moving then, and I felt him withdraw from me. I stood up, pulled my skirt down, and held on to the bar. The lights flickered back on and I could see a look of shock on everyone’s face as they looked around the car, trying to figure out who’d been fucking.

I looked behind me to see if I saw Dominic, but he was no longer there. I was curious as to where he’d gone, but I didn’t want to be obvious. I knew I was going to get off at the next stop and take a taxi home.

“I hope you had a good fuck,” the old man whispered to me as we got off of the train.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I gave him a puzzled look, and he laughed.

“I’d believe you if I wasn’t staring at your nipple right now.” His eyes glazed over, and I felt his fingers on me before I could stop myself. “If you want seconds, let me know.” He squeezed my right nipple, and I froze in shock.

“Get your hands off of her.”

Out of nowhere, I saw Dominic hitting the man and glaring at him in anger. The man stumbled and looked shocked that he’d been hit. Dominic grabbed my arm and pulled me with him out of the station.

“Are you okay?” He looked at me with concerned eyes, and I nodded. “I could kill that man.”

“It’s okay.” I touched his arm and saw that he was still angry. “Trust me, it’s okay.”

“When I saw him touch you…” He frowned and shook his head.

I stared at him for a moment, wondering what I should do. I was touched by his concern, but I was also worried. I didn’t want him to fall for me. I didn’t want to fall for him.

“Spend the night with me.” He looked into my eyes and ran his hands through his hair. “I know you want to say no, but please, just say yes.”

“I can’t.” I shook my head.

“Yes, you can.” He grabbed my hands. “I promise no talking. Just fucking.”

“Okay. Just fucking,” I agreed reluctantly.

I knew I was playing with fire. I knew I shouldn’t go back to his place. Nothing good could come from us liking each other.

“I’ll even let you give me head.” He grinned, and I laughed.

“Whatever.”

“Shall we go?” He looked calmer now, and I realized that it felt easy with him. Everything about him made me feel calm and relaxed, and it scared me.

“No.” I shook my head. “Let’s go to a club I know.”

“A club?” He frowned.

“It’s a swingers’ club.” I stared at him defiantly. He had to know that this wasn’t going to be anything special.

“Fine.” He nodded slowly. “Let’s go.”

“Oh.” I frowned. “You want to fuck someone else?” I was angry that he’d agreed so easily.

“Don’t you?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Let’s just go to your place.” I walked to the road and flagged down a cab. “But just fucking, no talking.”

“Fine.” He grinned at me as we got in. “Sixty percent fucking and forty percent talking.”

“Fine.” I rolled my eyes. “But that’s only because I have to tell you what to do.”

“Uh-huh.” His fingers slipped between my legs and started rubbing my clit. I saw the cab driver’s eyes pop open as he saw what was going on in his back seat. “You can tell me how to make you wet when we get to my place.” He laughed as his fingers easily slid back and forth in my wetness. “I’ll be grateful for the advice.”

I closed my eyes and groaned. If I’d known how everything was going to go down, I would have jumped out of that cab then and there. If I’d known what was going to happen, I never would have gone home with Dominic that night.

Chapter 18

Do you believe in foreshadowing? I never used to. I mean, how can events occurring now predict what will happen in my future? It’s not like this is The Twilight Zone or anything. Though I’m starting to wonder if I was wrong before. Maybe that feeling you feel in your bones is real.

Being with Dominic made me feel alive and happy. That’s something I’d never really felt before and it scared me. I knew it couldn’t last. Happiness never lasts for people like me.

I know, I know. I need to get a grip. I’m hot. I’m sexy. I’m not wanting for money. I have men chasing me. That stuff doesn’t make you happy. You know that. I know that. Happiness is a state of mind and all that crap. It truly is.

When I was with Dominic, I felt like a part of me was flying. I was soaring through the air on a jet stream and the world was passing me by in multicolor fusion. I’d never felt that way before. I hadn’t expected to ever feel this way. It was just so easy. Too easy.

I knew I was in trouble when I realized I wanted to blow off my weekend with Aiden to be with Dominic. I never blow off my weekends with Aiden. It all started with a simple text.

Dominic: Come away with me this weekend.

Me: To your parents’ place?

Dominic: Don’t be crazy.

Me: Oh, you don’t like taking your hos home?

Dominic: Do you really want to meet my parents?

Me: No :)

Dominic: I’ll blow off my parents and you blow off whatever you’re doing.

Me: You mean who I’m doing?

Dominic: I don’t want to think about it.

Me: I can’t.

Dominic: You can.

Me: I don’t want to.

Dominic: Liar.

And he was right, of course. I did want to blow off Aiden. I wasn’t looking forward to the weekend. Normally, I got off on sneaking around and having his colleagues wonder who I was. I was just that bit too sexy to be a real assistant, but they never questioned him, of course. No one questions the man with the money.

Dominic: You know you’ll be thinking of me when you’re with him.

Me: Do you really want to discuss this?

Dominic: What do you think?

Me: Then drop it.

Dominic: Drop him and come away with me this weekend.

Me: You’re crazy. What about your parents?

Dominic: I can see them anytime. I’d rather be fucking you.

Me: So romantic.

Dominic: You don’t want romance.

Me: You could pretend I do.

Dominic: Why pretend?

Me: This is all about sex for you, isn’t it?

Dominic: What do you think?

I knew it wasn’t. I knew he liked me. I knew he wanted me to be more than just his friend with benefits. I knew that, and a part of me wanted it as well. A very small part. I mean, I’m not the sort of girl who does commitment. It wasn’t in my DNA.

Dominic: Fine, don’t drop your weekend plans. Can I call?

Me: Why?

Dominic: I’d rather have phone sex than text sex.

Me: I’d rather have real sex.

Dominic: I can be over in 30 minutes.

Me: Just call me.

Dominic: Scaredy-cat.

Me: I don’t know if Aiden is coming over tonight or in the am.

Dominic: I can’t believe he doesn’t know you’re fucking other guys

Me: He doesn’t like to share.

Dominic: I don’t want to hear about him. :(

Me: You brought it up.

Dominic: I don’t like to share either.

Me: Call me.

The phone rang ten seconds later, and I waited for it to ring five times before I answered.

“Why do you love playing with me, Saskia?” His breathing was heavy, and I knew he was already turned on.

“Why do you love me playing with you, Dominic?”

“I hate that you have a boyfriend,” he muttered. “I want you to be mine. All mine.”

“Well, we all want things we can’t have.”

“What does he have that I don’t?”

“A big cock.”

“Bitch.” He laughed, and I joined him.

“He doesn’t call me mean names, either.”

“I bet if he knew you were hooking up with me, he would.”

“Perhaps.” I closed my eyes and smiled. “If he knew about any of you other guys, he’d be pissed.”

“There are others?” I could hear a tinge of jealousy in his voice.

“No,” I lied. He didn’t need to know about Tom. No one needed to know about him.

“There are others, aren’t there?”

“No,” I lied again, not wanting him to know the truth.

“So it’s just me and Aiden.”

“Yes.”

“So it’s soon-to-be just me?”

“Dominic,” I whispered, wanting to change the subject.

“I can take care of you as well.”

“I don’t want that.” I shook my head even though he couldn’t see me.

“Why not?” He sounded annoyed.

“Just because.” I sighed. I didn’t want him to take care of me because then things would change. I’d be the girl who owed him. He’d have expectations. I’d lose my power. I’d lose everything I now had with him.

“Whatever.” His voice was exasperated. “I’m sure I have more money than him.”

“It’s not about money.”

“I can fuck you every which way you like.”

“I’m not going to talk about this.”

“Are your panties on?”

“Yes.”

“Take them off. Now,” he commanded me, and I grinned into the phone. “Are they still on?” he asked again about a minute later.

“Yes,” I whispered as I pulled them off.

“Don’t make me come over there,” he growled. “Are they off now?”

“Yes, master.”

“Say it again like you mean it.”

“Yes, master.”

“Close your eyes,” he muttered. “Close your eyes and put your fingers between your legs. Does it feel good?”

“Yes,” I moaned, and he laughed.

“I bet you’re so wet right now.” He groaned. “Shit, I want to taste you so badly right now. I wish I was there.”

“That would have been nice.” I whimpered into the phone as I played with myself. I writhed on the bed and froze when I heard footsteps. “Gotta go.” I hung up the phone quickly and looked up in surprise as Aiden walked in.

“Hey.” He walked over to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey.” I sat up and nodded.

“I figured I should come over tonight. Prepare you for the weekend.”

“It’s fine.” I rolled my eyes. “All your workmates will think I’m your assistant.”

“You’re not coming away for a work weekend.” He shook his head and grinned at me. “You’re coming home with me.”

“Oh.” My eyes widened. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Yes.” His mouth found mine and his tongue licked my lips as his fingers found their way to my pussy. “Hmmm, been playing with yourself?” He grinned as he rubbed my clit and found my wetness.

“I was horny.”

“I guess I came over right on time.” He grunted and pushed two fingers inside me.

“Oh.” I groaned and closed my eyes. His fingers were rough as he fingered me, and an image of Dominic popped into my mind.

“You have to be smart this weekend.” He withdrew his fingers and sucked on them as he pulled away from me. “I want to have some fun, but we cannot get caught.”

“But won’t your wife—” I started and frowned.

“That’s the beauty of it.” He grinned. “That makes it more fun.”

“I don’t know.” I shook my head.

It wasn’t like I didn’t know he was married. Yes, I’m that kind of bitch. I knew, and I didn’t care. It wasn’t my problem. That’s how I felt, but I’d never been around the wife. I’d been the other woman at work events, but never around the actual wife.

“It’s not up to you.” He grabbed me around the waist and flipped me over. “I like to play with fire.”

“What if she figures something out?” I whispered against the sheet as he pulled me up onto my knees. I heard him undoing his zipper and felt the tip of his cock against me.

“She won’t.” He groaned and entered me from behind. “Shit, I’ve been waiting all day for this.” He grabbed my hips and slammed into me hard, his cock seeming to go deeper and deeper with each entry.

I felt his hands grabbing my breasts, and I closed my eyes as he brought me to the edge of an orgasm. I screamed as he moved faster and faster. I could feel my body trembling, and it quaked as we both came together pretty quickly. I fell down onto the bed and he rolled down next to me.

“We just have to play it cool.”

“I don’t know why you want me to come.” I looked over at him and touched his face, looking into his eyes with concern. “Is everything okay?”

“Things have never been better.” His green eyes crinkled as he stared at me. “I don’t know why you’re questioning me.”

“Just seems pretty risky.” I shrugged.

“Since when have you cared?”

“I don’t.” I smiled at him and ran my finger down his chest. “I don’t care at all.”

“Good. My son and his girlfriend will be there. I’m sure my wife will be occupied with them.”

“Don’t you think they’ll be wondering why I’m there?”

“I always bring work home.”

“Other assistants?”

“Yes.”

“I see.”

“You want to know if I fuck them as well?” He laughed as he looked at me, and I shook my head.

“Actually, no.”

“Good, that’s why I like you, Saskia. You’re not all up in my business.”

“Yeah.”

“And, of course, I like that your pussy is mine. Any time I want it.” He laughed. “And it’s cheap at the cost. Ten thousand a month for grade-A pussy is hard to beat.”

“You make me sound like a prostitute.” I frowned.

“You never cared before.” He shrugged and closed his eyes. “Plus, you get to call yourself my girlfriend.”

I rolled over then, suddenly not feeling so sure about any of the decisions I had made. Was I really proud of calling myself the girlfriend of a married man who had no respect for me? All I could think about was Dominic as I lay there, and I grew angry at myself.

Dominic was making me wish for things I had no right to wish for. I’d always been satisfied with the arrangement Aiden and I had. It was fine. It was perfect. I didn’t care that he was married. I really didn’t care. I tried to ignore the small itch of worry that was settling in my stomach and telling me I was a bad person.

I wasn’t bad—I was just a realist. I looked out for myself first and foremost. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking that. Not because some cute guy made me think that perhaps there was more to life than fucking. I wasn’t going to let Dominic make me start to believe in love.

The Awkward Moment I Met the Wife

If you’re human and you have any sort of emotion or heart, you will feel bad meeting your lover’s wife. I know that now. It’s one thing to be the mistress and ignore the fact that he’s married, but when you meet the wife, it’s a whole other ballgame. I know you think that I’m an evil bitch. What sort of woman sleeps with a married man, knowing that he’s married? Call me a ho, a slut, a home wrecker—whatever you want. It’s likely true.

I didn’t think I was going to care when I met his wife. I thought the act would be quite simple. It wasn’t. She was nice. Really sweet. Really friendly and welcoming, and she had no idea. I’d expected her to be a frigid bitch. Or something. However, she was anything but that. I felt bad instantly. And then I felt angry at myself for feeling bad.

“You’re Mr. X’s new assistant?” she asked me formally. I nodded, and she smiled. “I love meeting his assistants.”

I wanted to ask her how many she’d met and how she could be so dumb, but I kept my mouth shut.

“I hope you like the room.” She showed me to a huge bedroom. “My son and his girlfriend will be next door. They arrive tomorrow.”

“Oh, okay.” I nodded again.

“Please feel free to make yourself at home.” She gave me a big smile. “I’m sure Mr. X will let you know where the office is. Don’t let him work you too hard.”

“I’ll try not to.” I nodded and smiled back at her, though my smile was very, very weak.

I watched as she walked out of the door and tried not to feel bad. It wasn’t my problem. I suppose you want to know why I’m calling him Mr. X? Well, he’s someone you would likely know and his real name isn’t Aiden. I figured, if it turns out that you have a big mouth, all of my bases are covered.

Knock Knock

“Come in!” I called out, trying to pretend I was happy.

“I’m going to need you in the office in ten minutes for some work.” Aiden smiled at me.

“Yes, sir.”

“Do you know where the office is?”

“No.”

“Go to the kitchen and then walk down the corridor. It will be two doors on the left.”

“Okay.” I nodded.

“Are you wearing panties?”

“Yes.”

“That’s fine.” He shrugged. “I only want a blow job.”

“Okay.” I stared at him, and he grinned.

“This is going to be such a good weekend.” He laughed and walked out of the door.

I sat on the bed for a few minutes and felt quite sorry for myself.

“Have fun with your parents,” I texted Dominic and laughed when he responded immediately.

Dominic: Thanks. They are killing me. My dad and I are playing golf right now and I want to die.

Me: Sounds fun.

Dominic: I’d rather be with you.

I looked at the text, smiled, and texted back quickly before I could stop myself.

Me: I’d rather be with you too.

Dominic: OMG. Did I just read that right?

Me: Don’t get a big head?

Dominic: I can’t lie, my dick is hard now. :)

Me: Have fun with that.

Dominic: Can I see you on Monday?

Me: Maybe.

Dominic: Drop Aiden. I’ll take care of you.

Me: I can’t have you doing that.

Dominic: Be my girlfriend.

Me: No.

Dominic: Please?

Me: Maybe.

I typed back and laughed. I couldn’t believe I had said that.

Dominic: Yes! ;)

Me: I have to go.

Dominic: Until Monday.

I pushed my phone back in my pocket, walked to the bathroom, and sat on the bathtub. I decided that I wasn’t going to go to the office to suck Aiden off. I was taking a stand. I wasn’t going to let him do that to me. I was finally over it. I didn’t want to be the other woman. I wanted to give Dominic a chance. Everything about him seemed to gel with me. I wanted to see what could happen between us.

* * *

Mrs. X knocked on my door and then walked in. “Hello, dear. Just wanted to let you know dinner is ready.”

“Thank you.” I smiled and followed her out of the room.

“There you are.” Mr. X looked up at me and frowned.

“Sorry. I fell asleep.” I shrugged. “Hopefully, I can catch up on the work you wanted after dinner.”

“I suppose so.” His eyes glinted into mine. “There’s a lot I need you to do.”

“That’s fine.” I nodded, and we all sat down at the table.

“Jessie called. She and Evan will be home late tonight.”

“I thought they were coming tomorrow?”

“She said Evan got done with his meeting early.”

“Okay.”

“I think he’s going to propose soon.”

“It’s about time.” Aiden nodded. “They need to settle down.”

“I know Jessie’s ready.” She smiled at me. “Jessie and Evan have been dating for three years now. I know she’s anxious for him to propose.”

“Evan is your son?” I smiled politely.

“Yes.” She smiled again. “He’s been a bit of a playboy. I’ll be happy to see him married.”

“Don’t rush the boy,” Aiden muttered. “He’ll back out if you say anything.”

“We’re both anxious for him to marry Jessie.” She laughed. “We both think she’s perfect for him.”

“She’s a good girl.” Aiden nodded and smiled at me. I looked at him curiously, wondering how good this Jessie really was.

Dinner was a pretty quick affair. Mrs. X wasn’t super hungry, and Aiden hurried to his office as soon as he was done.

“I’ll come for you when I’m ready.” He nodded at me, and I just nodded back and walked to my room.

I sat on my bed and wondered how I was going to tell Aiden that it was over. The hours seemed to go by slowly, and it must have been about nine p.m. when there was a knock on my door.

“Come in.” I jumped up, and he walked in with a grin.

“I need to fuck you now.” He walked over to the bed and pulled his tie off.

“I need to talk to you, Aiden.” I took a step back and fell onto the bed.

“We can talk after.”

“What if your wife walks in?”

“She won’t.” He grinned. “She’s gone to bed.”

“Oh.” I looked up at him and felt his fingers on my breasts.

“Take your clothes off,” he commanded, grunting.

“I’m tired.” I shook my head, and he paused, looking down at me with surprise in his eyes.

“Oh?” His fingers ran up the inside of my thighs and pulled my panties to the side. “I think you’ve got some energy left in you.”

“I don’t know.” I closed my eyes and widened my legs automatically as he played with me.

He laughed as he rubbed me gently and then pulled my panties and skirt off. “I think you’re okay,” he said, pulling me up. He pulled my top off and then undid my bra. I watched as he pulled his pants and shirt off.

“Are you sure this is smart?” I looked up at him in wonder.

“I want you to ride me.” He got onto the bed and pulled me on top of him.

I looked down at him and closed my eyes. I guessed that it didn’t matter if I fucked him one last time. I gently started moving back and forth on him. His hands reached up and grabbed my breasts. He pinched my nipples hard, and I moaned. It felt effortless being with him.

The tip of his cock teased me for a few minutes before he grabbed my hips and pulled me down on top of him. I moved up and down on him quickly, enjoying the feel of him inside me. I’d miss fucking him. He was always hard. He always went deep, and I always came.

I groaned as he grabbed my hips and moved me faster and faster on top of him. I found myself enjoying the deep thrusts of him inside me, and I was just about to come when I heard the door opening.

“Oh, sorry,” a young female voice said, sounding shocked.

I looked behind me and froze as I stared back at the door.

“Jessie, close the fucking door!” Aiden looked up at her and shouted at her with such force, but she continued to stare at both of us with wide eyes.

I stared back at her, wondering what to do, but it seemed like Aiden had no such worries as he grabbed ahold of my hips and started moving me back and forth on him.

“What’s going on, Jessie?” A man’s voice joined Jessie at the door, but I didn’t turn around this time. If Aiden didn’t care, I sure didn’t, and I was so close to orgasming that I didn’t want to move.

“Evan, take Jessie and get out of the room.” Aiden’s voice was angry, and I looked around quickly to see if his son looked shocked to see his father fucking another girl.

That’s when my heart sank. Everything seemed to go in slow motion then.

Aiden lifted me off of him and placed me on all fours. I felt his cock quickly slide into me, and he laughed when his fingers reached around to grab my breasts as I came against him. I closed my eyes and allowed my body to enjoy the orgasm that was exploding in my body.

“Evan, get out of here,” Aiden muttered again as he exploded inside of me.

Evan stared at us both with blank eyes as we orgasmed on the bed and then slowly closed the door. I kept my mind blank and tried not to allow the pain I was feeling to seep into my bones.

“What is it you wanted to talk about?” Aiden fondled my breasts as we lay back in the bed, breathing heavily.

“Nothing.” I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths.

It didn’t matter now. Not now that I knew that Aiden’s son Evan was actually Dominic. My Dominic had looked as shocked as I had felt. We had both been caught, and I knew in my heart that there was no turning back from this moment.

Chapter 19

I suppose you think I should have left the house right then and there. Any normal person would have, but I’m not normal. A part of me was still in shock. I couldn’t believe that he’d seen me with his dad, and I also couldn’t believe that he had a girlfriend, almost fiancée. It didn’t seem real.

How could he have a girlfriend if he’d been texting me all week long? I thought he really liked me. I always prided myself on being smarter than the average woman. No disrespect to any suckers out there, but the lies men tell usually don’t work on me. I know a bullshitter from a bullshitter. I’m not that average girl who sits in her room crying because her guy doesn’t call her or seems to be acting cold. I’m not that girl because I don’t care what the fuck a guy has to say.

I don’t cry and I don’t complain. And I never get my heart broken.

Pain is for those pitiful women who don’t know how to live without a man. I know I’m a hypocrite. But there’s one key distinction between me and most women—all I want is sex. Well, I guess I should say that there was one key distinction if the pain in my heart was anything to go by.

I’m part of the ranks now. I’m pitiful.

I was grateful that Aiden left the bedroom pretty soon after Dominic. He didn’t even know that we had a connection. Part of me was glad that he hadn’t realized that his son and I had had a moment. If I’d been thinking clearly and not preoccupied with my own drama, I would have noticed that he and Jessie had had a moment.

It’s at this point that most people get hopeful. They think, Ooh, Dominic will dump his cheating bitch of a girl, Jessie, and I’ll dump Aiden and we’ll live happily ever after. I already told you that my life is no fairy tale. I’m here to tell you that sometimes dirty-dog deeds follow dirty dogs in all different ways.

At the end of the day, I haven’t been the best kind of girl. But don’t despair just yet. My story gets better and worse. Just not in the ways you think.

I’ll admit it now, though it’s something I’ve never wanted to admit. I was falling in love with Dominic. I guess, at the end of the day, I’m like every other woman. I want love. We can all pretend and hide it. Numbness can hold a lot of things in, but ultimately we were all made for love. Love, love, love. Just thinking the word makes me feel sick.

I took a shower as soon as Aiden left the room. I scrubbed my body so hard. It was the first time I’d truly felt dirty during sex and that was due to the guilt. The guilt was due to his being married, though. All I could think of was his wife. His poor wife not knowing what was going on.

Yeah, I was mad about Dominic, and I was pissed that he’d seen me riding his dad, but he knew that I had a boyfriend. If anything, I had more right to be mad at him. His lies and sweet talk had been nothing but acting.

This is the point where you expect me to say that I dumped Aiden. I should have, right? I did feel guilty. I did feel ashamed. However, I also thought about my apartment and my bank account. I thought about my life and I knew that I’d just deal with the guilt. I told you I’m a cold-hearted bitch sometimes.

That’s what Tom calls me. He doesn’t care if he hurts me with his words. He doesn’t, of course. I like it. Sometimes I have him talk dirty to me during sex. It turns me on more with him. He’d get a laugh out of the whole situation when I told him. I knew he’d been feeling put out this last week as I hadn’t called him to come over once.

As I walked out of the shower and into my bedroom, a wicked thought crossed my mind. I picked up my phone, texted Tom, and gave him Aiden’s address. I wanted him come to and stay for the weekend.

I told you I was wicked. I thought it would be great fun to stir the pot up a little bit more, partly because I was angry and partly because I was jealous.

Of course, Tom texted me back immediately. He was going to show up first thing in the morning. It was perfect.

The moment I realized that I was just like every other sad girl

About ten minutes after I stepped out of the shower, there was a knock on my door. I didn’t bother to get up and answer it. I didn’t want to see Aiden again tonight. The knock came again. This time it was louder and more insistent.

“Can I come in?” Dominic’s voice was loud and insistent as he opened the door and walked into the room.

“I didn’t say yes.” I didn’t look up at him.

“So you’re fucking my dad?” He spoke the words softly and distastefully.

“Don’t judge me.” I looked up then and cringed at the look on his face.

“Did you know?”

“How was I supposed to know?” I stared into his eyes as he walked closer to me.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged.

“So what’s your name? Dominic or Evan?”

“It’s Dominic.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I was christened Evan Dominic, but I prefer Dominic. My parents prefer Evan.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You’re fucking my dad.”

“You’ve got a girlfriend,” I spat out, trying to ignore the jealousy stirring in my stomach.

“Is that a problem?” He raised an eyebrow at me, and I wanted to slap him.

“Would have been nice if you’d told me.”

“Is he a good lay?” He leaned toward me so that I could feel his breath on my lips. “Do you think of me when he fucks you or do you think of him when I fuck you? Or do you fantasize about us both fucking you at the same time?”

“You’re sick.” I slapped him hard across the face.

“I shouldn’t be jealous, right?” He laughed bitterly. “I knew you had a boyfriend. I knew you were fucking someone else.”

“Stop it.” I pushed past him, and he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back toward him. “Let go of me.”

“I should have known you were a mistress,” he whispered against my hair as his hands moved up and down my back. “I should have known that the man you were seeing had a wife.”

“Don’t do this,” I said, groaning as his fingers worked their way up to my breasts. “Dominic,” I moaned as he pinched my nipples.

“I don’t know if I’m madder at you for doing this and ruining my family, or at my dad for cheating on my mom.”

“You’re cheating on your girlfriend with me.” I closed my eyes and pushed my body against his. “You’re no better than me,” I muttered.

“Jessie’s not the one.” His lips pressed down on mine.

“And I am?” I whispered up at him, but he didn’t answer. Instead, his tongue entered my mouth and his fingers fell to my ass.

“I want to make love to you.” His words sounded urgent, and I couldn’t say no.

Part of me jumped at his words. He’d said, “make love.” Make love meant something completely different than fucking. Maybe he understood that what I had with his father didn’t affect what we had together. His father meant nothing to me. Not when compared to him.

“Are you sure?” I pulled back and looked into his eyes.

“I need to feel you.” His lips crushed down on mine again and he pushed me down onto the bed. “I want to hear you moan for me,” he continued as his fingers roughly rubbed against me.

“That hurts.” I pushed him away.

“Then hurt me too.” His eyes flashed at me. “Hurt me, Saskia.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” I lay back as he stared down at me. His hands were pinning my arms down and I could barely move.

“I can’t touch you.” He fell down on the bed next to me. “I can’t do it.”

“You despise me now?” I whispered softly, more hurt than I’d ever been in my life.

“I don’t despise you.” He looked at me for a second. “Do I think you’re a cheap bitch? Yes, but what can I say?”

“Your words don’t hurt me,” I lied. “You’re not exactly a prince.”

“You fucked my dad.”

“I know. I was there,” I retorted. “Stop reminding me.”

“Do I mean so little to you?” His eyes narrowed. “How could you?”

“I’m not the one in the wrong here.” I sat up and pulled his zipper down. “I will not let you treat me like a leper.” I quickly pulled his cock out.

He was already hard, and I quickly dropped down to my knees to take him in my mouth. He tasted salty and briny as I sucked on him long and hard. I heard him groan as I took him as deep as I could. I felt his hands on my head pushing me down, and I knew he was close to coming by the way his body went tense.

I quickly stopped sucking him and moved so that I was on top of him. I slipped my panties to the side and gently eased myself down on him. He stared up at me as I rode him slowly, enjoying the feel of him inside me. He grabbed my hips and rocked me back and forth on him. Neither of us spoke as I continued riding him. I increased my pace and bobbed up and down on him quickly. His cock felt like heaven as I moved and his fingers roughly played with me, bringing me closer to climax. I stopped for one brief second and he grabbed my hands as we both orgasmed at the same time.

“Fuck!” he shouted as he came inside me fast and furious.

“Oh, Dominic.” I collapsed next to him and stroked his hair as we lay there panting.

He stared at me for a few seconds and sat up. “Thanks.” He gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Oh, and I forgot to answer your question.”

“What question?” I lay back and stared at him. I was still panting from the hot sex, and I could barely keep my eyes open.

“When you asked if you were the one.” He jumped up and pulled up his zipper. “The answer’s no, I don’t think you are.” His eyes looked at me with a hint of anger and he turned away from me in silence.

I watched him walk to the door with my face burning. I thought my heart was going to break in two, and I just lay there staring up at the ceiling. I tried not to think about anything, but I couldn’t stop a solitary tear from rolling down my cheek. It was at that moment that I realized I was just as pitiful as every other girl.

* * *

There are two things you can do when you’ve been rejected. You can sit around and feel sorry for yourself. You can let your tears comfort you. You can let the empty hole in your heart comfort you as you wallow in your nothingness. Or you get up and make them regret it. Because the secret is, that you can make him regret it. Even if he’s the one who dumped you and made you feel bad.

Men don’t like feeling like they’ve given up something good. Or something that another man wants. It’s the ego in them. Every man has an ego. Every man is human. You can always make them regret it. You just have to stop crying your eyes out before time runs out.

That’s one good thing about me. I think with my head first. Well, I try to. I hadn’t thought with my head when I’d slept with Dominic again. I’d known it was too soon, but part of me had wanted to believe that sex would bring us back to that spot. That spot that felt like home. I’d been wrong. All it had done was made him think of me sleeping with his dad.

I knew that was true because a part of me had been thinking about his dad while I had been riding him. I know that sounds crazy. Or maybe even sick, but I couldn’t stop myself. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s also not something I’m going to be ashamed of. Neither one of them was better than me. Neither one of them was a saint. In fact, all three of us were in the wrong. Yet, somehow, I was the pariah. All because I’m the female in the situation. Well, fuck that.

I fell asleep pretty quickly after Dominic had left. I was too mentally exhausted to think about everything that had happened. And yeah, I felt like a slut. A tiny part of me felt like a big old rejected slut and there was nothing I could do to fix that.

* * *

Tom arrived at seven a.m. the next morning. I was grinning as I opened the front door to let him in even though I was still tired as hell.

“It’s seven a.m.” I groaned as we walked to the bedroom.

“It sounded like you needed me urgently.” He shrugged.

“How’s your girlfriend?”

“It’s over.” He shrugged again and then frowned. “You okay?”

“I’ve been better.”

“I can’t believe you’re here at Aiden’s house.” He sighed. “Is his wife here?”

“What do you think?”

“Are you kidding me?” His eyes widened as we walked into the bedroom I was sleeping in. “This place is nice.”

“Yeah, it is.” I grinned and walked over to the bed. “Now I’m going back to sleep.”

“What?”

“I’m still tired.” I snuggled into the pillow. “You can join me if you want.”

“Is that a good idea?” His eyes lit up.

“No sex.” I yawned. “I’m too tired.”

“You’re never too tired.” He laughed.

“Tom.”

“Fine.” He flopped down on the bed next to me. “By the way, Natasha is worried about you.”

“Why?” I snuggled into his chest. It was always comfortable being with Tom.

“Why do you think?” He played with my hair and then rubbed my shoulder. “She thinks that you’re this close to a breakdown.”

“What is she talking about?” I sighed and snuggled in closer to him. I felt his lips on my forehead, so soft and warm, and I smiled. “I’m so glad you’re here, by the way.”

“How glad?” He looked at me and smiled.

“This glad.” I leaned up and kissed him.

His tongue easily slipped into my mouth, and we lay there kissing for a few minutes. I closed my eyes and pictured Dominic. This was how I wished it were with him. Though I guess part of the allure of being with him was that it wasn’t so easy.

“So why exactly am I here?”

“You’re here because I want to make him sweat.” I grinned.

“I thought you didn’t want Aiden to know about us?”

“I didn’t, but everything’s changed.” I didn’t tell him about Dominic. “It’s not like he can say anything.” I grinned. “His wife is here.”

“I don’t understand why you care about making him jealous.”

“Do you care?” I sighed, annoyed at his continued questioning.

“I’m curious.” His fingers cupped my breasts. “I want to know—”

“Shh.” I placed a finger on his lips. “No more talking.”

“What?” He laughed.

“I’ve got an itch.” I raised an eyebrow, and he grinned.

“Well, let me scratch it.” Tom knew exactly what I was talking about, and he eagerly crawled under the sheets and the duvet.

I quickly pulled my panties down, spread my legs, and lay back. I wasn’t particularly in the mood for anything, but I didn’t want him asking too many questions. I didn’t want to have to talk about what had happened. Not yet. It still felt too raw and fresh. I still felt too cheap. And too used—something I had promised myself I would never let a man make me feel.

Tom’s tongue felt warm between my legs and I moaned. His lips circled my clit and he sucked on it gently. I felt myself growing wet as he licked me eagerly. My fingers gripped the sheets as his tongue teased me.

Knock Knock.

I froze as I heard someone knocking on the door. I reached down and tugged on Tom’s hair so he would stop, grateful when he paused. I lay there silently, hoping that whoever was at the door wouldn’t come in.

Knock Knock.

I lay there and watched as Dominic walked through the door.

“Morning.” He stood at the door in just his boxers, and I stared at him, unsmiling.

“What do you want?” I looked at him with a blank look.

“I’m sorry about what I said yesterday.” He gave me a wry smile. “I was a jerk.”

“Yeah, you were.” I nodded in agreement.

“I reacted badly to seeing you fucking my dad.” He made a face. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I croaked out, hoping Tom couldn’t hear.

“I shouldn’t have come to your room last night and said what I did after sex.” His words sounded loud, and I yelped as I felt Tom’s teeth nibbling on my clit. “You okay?”

“Yes.” I nodded and tried to close my legs.

Unfortunately, Tom was having none of it, and his tongue was now entering my very wet pussy. Thankfully, the duvet was so thick that it would be hard for Dominic to realize that someone was in the bed with me.

“Anyway, I wanted to come and say that I hope we can talk once we get back to the city.” He shrugged.

“Yeah,” I muttered and tried not to moan as Tom’s tongue had me on the brink of orgasm. “That’s…” I closed my mouth and my fingers tightened on the sheets as I felt myself coming on Tom’s face.

“I knew there was another guy.” Dominic made a face. “So it’s not like you lied to me. At least I knew you had another lover.”

“Yup,” I was able to squeak out as Tom’s tongue licked me up and down.

“I guess I’ll let you sleep.” He looked put out, and I nodded.

“Bye.” I gave him a small wave and watched as he walked out of the door and then closed it. I closed my eyes, lay back on the bed, and then pulled the sheets down. “What were you doing?” I glared at Tom, and he grinned at me.

“I was making you come.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.” I groaned as he moved back up beside me.

“Why not?”

“It just… I don’t know.” I sighed. “Nothing.” I didn’t know how to tell him that it made me feel like a cheater. I felt cheap. It had felt wrong having Tom pleasure me as I spoke to Dominic.

“So you’re doing the father and the son?” He looked at me for a second and lay back on the pillow.

“I have.” I nodded.

“So which one am I here to irritate?” He grinned at me. “And how far are you willing to go to get them upset?”

“I don’t know.” I sighed. “I really don’t know.”

“I’m all for playing your game, Saskia,” he continued, “but some of the rules have to change.”

“Oh?” I frowned as I saw his expression change. “What rules?”

“We’re going to do things my way.” He ran his fingers through my hair. “What I say goes.”

I swallowed as I looked into his eyes, but I still nodded in agreement. “Okay,” I whispered. “What you say goes.”

That was one of the biggest mistakes I’d made in my life. I’d always trusted Tom up until that point. I’d always thought he had my best interests at heart. I don’t know why I thought that. I should have known better. All men are dogs, and at the end of the day, they all end up looking out for themselves. Agreeing to go by Tom’s rules changed everything. It was the piece of the puzzle that changed the whole game.

Chapter 20

Aiden was sitting at the table with Jessie when I went out to grab breakfast. She was one of those girls you knew was going to be a bitch before she even said one word. She looked like she thought she was perfect. I hated her on sight, of course. Both because she looked like a stuck-up bitch and because she was dating Dominic.

Dominic was supposed to be the guy who changed my life. I hadn’t quite admitted that to myself, but in my subconscious, I’d known. He was the one who was meant to make me whole. He was the one who was supposed to make me believe in love again. When he’d looked into my eyes as we made love, I’d really thought, in the depths of my soul, This is it. I guess I’m a fool—just like everyone else.

“Good morning, Saskia.” Aiden nodded at me as he drank his black coffee.

There’s something wrong with people who drink their coffee black, with no milk and sugar. It tells you something about their personality. It tells you that they don’t care what they have to give up to get the benefits from any situation. Be careful of people who drink their coffee black.

“Good morning.” I nodded and sat down. I didn’t bother giving Jessie a smile.

I can’t fake being nice. Don’t be so surprised at that. There’s no way you thought I could. If you didn’t know it by now, I can be a bit of a bitch.

“This is Jessie, my son Evan’s girlfriend.” He introduced us and I looked up.

She was staring at him with something akin to lust in her eyes, further proving my suspicions that something had gone down between them.

“Hello, Jexie,” I said, but she didn’t even look at me.

I was right—she was a bitch as well. I smiled to myself as I grabbed the orange juice. I loved putting bitches in their place. Absolutely loved it.

“Aiden, my friend Tom was in the neighborhood, so I said he could stop by. Is that okay?”

“What?” He looked at me with a frown.

He was annoyed. He didn’t like me taking liberties with his time and space. This was his hour and his game and he was the only player as far as he was concerned. Idiot. That’s the problem with men who have it all. They don’t realize it’s all an illusion. No one has it all.

“My friend, Tom, is here.” I smiled at him. “I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s not.” His eyebrows furrowed, and he was about to talk again when Jessie touched his arm.

“Are you guys fucking?” she asked softly. I could hear the hurt in her voice.

Aiden looked at her for a second and then picked up his paper and started reading. I laughed internally, though I still felt ashamed of myself.

“What do you think?” I looked at her and smirked. “I mean, what did you think we were doing when you walked into the room last night?”

“Tramp.” She gave me a scornful look, and I laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Dominic walked into the room looking like a Greek god, and I sighed.

“Nothing, darling.” Jessie stood up and kissed his cheek. “I was just saying how shameful I think it is for your dad to bring his mistress home.”

“Jessie.” Dominic’s face froze and he gave me a quick look.

I was ashamed that my heart was jumping as he gave me a small smile. I looked away, not wanting him to think I’d forgiven him for what he’d said to me last night. I knew it had been out of anger, but still, I was hurt and I knew that his words were partially true.

“Evan, take care of your girlfriend.” Aiden looked up, annoyed. “Saskia, come with me.”

I looked up, feeling annoyed and angry. Normally, Aiden’s constant thoughts of himself and his own pleasure didn’t bother me, but now that we were here in front of Dominic, I was annoyed.

“Where are you going, Dad?” Dominic asked softly.

“To do some business.” Aiden grinned and stood up. He peered down at me with sparkling eyes. “Are you ready?” His voice was light, and I knew that none of this had affected him in the slightest. He really didn’t care.

“I haven’t eaten as yet.”

“I have something for you to eat in the study,” he replied swiftly, and I looked away as Jessie gasped.

“I’ll be there after I have my breakfast.”

“I’d rather you come now.”

“Give the girl a break, Dad. If she wants to eat breakfast before doing some work, let her eat.” Dominic sounded angry, and though I tried to look at him, he avoided eye contact with me.

“Don’t tell me you’re mad.” Aiden sounded surprised.

“I just want to eat my breakfast.” Dominic shrugged and poured himself some coffee.

“Excuse me.” I stood up. “I just remembered I have to call my friend Natasha this morning. I’ll be right back.” I hurried to my room, feeling uncomfortable.

I was happy to hear the shower running as I entered. I didn’t really want to have a conversation with Tom right now. Or sex. I sighed as I realized that he was possibly another complication in my life. I grabbed my phone and called Natasha.

“Hello,” a deep voice answered, and I thought about hanging up.

“Is Natasha there?” I asked Brad, her husband.

“She went for a run.” His voice was short.

“I see.”

“Who should I say was calling?” he asked stiffly, and I stuck my tongue out at the phone. Brad was such a dick.

“You know it’s me, Saskia. I know that my name and photo shows up on the screen.”

“Sorry. I must have missed it.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

“And you’re a self-centered bitch of a friend,” he responded smoothly.

“Ask her to call me when she gets back, please.” I sighed, not in the mood to take him on.

“It sounds serious.”

“It is urgent that she call me back.”

“Who did you fuck now?” he said softly, and the phone went silent.

Neither one of us said anything for about a minute as we waited to see if the other one was going to talk. It was awkward and uncomfortable. Part of me just wanted us to hash it out. It had been years that we’d hated each other, and Natasha just didn’t understand why. I didn’t know how to tell her. And I knew that he never wanted to tell her. I mean, he hated me and I hated him. We were both disgusted with each other. I sat on the bed and closed my eyes as I thought back to all those years ago.

“You’re an asshole,” I whispered into the phone.

“And you liked it.”

“Just tell Natasha to call me.”

“I don’t know why she’s still friends with you.”

“I don’t know why she’s still married to you,” I snapped back.

“So, are you seeing anyone?” he asked softly, and I laughed.

“You don’t know the half of it.”

“So tell me.”

“Are you joking?” I exclaimed.

“Who best to tell than the guy who knows just how low you can go?” he said softly, and I sighed.

He was right, of course. I didn’t want to tell Natasha everything. She didn’t know about Tom and me, and I wasn’t sure how she would react if she heard that I’d been keeping it a secret for all these years.

“You’re a jerk, you know that?” I sighed. “And if I choose to tell you, it’s not because I like you. It’s because I have no one else to tell.”

“That’s fine.”

“Are you cheating on Natasha?” I blurted out to change the subject.

“No, never! Of course not!” he exclaimed.

“Well, not never,” I muttered.

“Saskia.” His voice went low. “Don’t.”

“I hate you.”

“It was your fault,” he muttered in reply.

“I was testing you and you failed.”

“It wasn’t supposed to go that far.” He sighed. “You should have stopped.”

“I know.” I bit my lower lip. “I know.”

“You couldn’t stop though, could you?” His voice was harder now.

“No.”

“I couldn’t stop either,” he whispered, and I froze at his tone. It reminded me of that night. The night that cemented for me that I didn’t deserve happiness.

“I have to go.” I quickly hung up the phone.

I stared up at the ceiling and laughed hysterically. No wonder this weekend was going so horribly. There was all sorts of bad karma waiting to come back and get me.

The Night I Seduced Brad

I didn’t intentionally try to sleep with Brad. I would never do that to Natasha. I loved her like a sister. I wanted the best for her. I cared about her so much that I didn’t even act upon the initial attraction I’d felt toward Brad when I’d first met him. I knew that he’d felt it too.

We were nineteen when we met. He and Natasha had only been dating for a few weeks. They hadn’t even slept together yet. We’d had an instant attraction. He couldn’t stop staring at me, and I couldn’t stop my fingers from burning every time they brushed his on the table. We played a cat-and-mouse game all night, and I’d never felt so stimulated by a man before.

Then Natasha told me how much she liked him. How they had some classes together and he was the smartest guy in the class. She was happy and excited, and I knew that I couldn’t act on my attraction. I was cold to him for the rest of the night, and while he looked confused, he didn’t say anything to me about it.

About two months later, he asked Natasha to be his girlfriend (officially) and that was that.

We saw each other every other month after that, and we were cordial to each other up until the bathroom incident. Natasha and I had planned a weekend in Vermont with Brad and a guy I was seeing at the time. It was to be a romantic getaway, and I was so excited to get out of the city and have some fun. Unfortunately, we ended up renting a one-bedroom cottage, so none of us had any privacy. One night, I left a note on the pillow for my date to meet me in the bathroom at midnight. We’d all been drinking that night and had invited some locals we’d met at a bar to come over and party. I grinned to myself as I slipped out of the room at 11:30 p.m. and made my way to the bathroom. I slipped my panties off and stuffed them under the sink, and then I pulled my bra off, turned the light off, and waited. As the clock struck midnight, the door opened. I giggled in the dark and pulled my date in quickly, locking the door behind me.

“I—” he started, and I put my finger to his lips.

“Shh,” I whispered, enjoying the naughtiness of the moment.

I moved toward the bathtub and bent over, pulling my skirt up as I stuck my ass out. He knew exactly what to do, even in the dark. One of his hands circled my waist as the other one undid his zipper. He grunted as he rubbed the tip of his cock against me. I grinned to myself as I gripped the bathtub. I was already wet, and I knew that was turning him on even more. He wasted no time before sliding into me, and I cried out as he filled me up.

“Ooooh!” I moaned as he grabbed ahold of my hips and pulled out slowly before pushing back inside me.

“Like that, do you, Natasha?” He laughed as he slammed into me again.

I froze when I realized that I was in the bathroom with Brad and not my date.

“Oh shit.” I pushed back against him and straightened up.

“What the…?” he exclaimed, and when I turned on the light, his face was pale. “Oh shit!” he exclaimed as he looked at me.

“Why are you here?” I stared at him with wide eyes, trying to ignore his gigantic, hard cock that was still standing at attention.

“Natasha left me a note…” he started and then groaned. “Oh shit, she didn’t leave me a note, did she?”

“I left a note for Nick.” My face reddened. “Shit.”

“Oh my God.” He leaned back against the door. “I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay.” I took a deep breath. “We made a mistake. Neither of us did this on purpose. It’s not our fault. We stopped as soon as we realized.”

“Yeah.” He nodded and stared at me for a few seconds. “We did.”

“I’m sorry.” I sighed and walked toward him.

“It’s okay.” He nodded, and his eyes fell to my breasts. “It’s okay.”

“You should probably put that away.” I nodded at his cock and laughed slightly.

“Oh, yeah.” He continued staring at me.

I’m not sure what came over me then, but I reached over, grabbed his cock, and held it in my hands for a few seconds. His breath caught as I touched him, and I could feel my heart beating fast. I held him for a few more seconds before placing him back in his pants and doing up his zipper.

“Thank you.” He nodded, his eyes filled with lust.

“It’s okay.” I stood there in front of him, barely breathing.

“You’re cold?” His fingers reached up to my breasts and he lightly squeezed my nipples.

“A little.” I nodded as his hands cupped my breasts.

“I thought so.” His fingers continued playing with my stiff nipples and then dropped to his sides. “I should go.”

“Yeah.” I nodded in agreement. “You should.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t feel bad, Brad. We didn’t know, and we stopped when we realized.”

“Yeah.” He opened the door and then stared at me for a second before leaving. “We did.” He walked out of the bathroom then, and I locked the door behind him.

I would be a liar if I didn’t tell you that I wished we hadn’t stopped. I left the bathroom about five minutes later, and about thirty minutes after that, Brad proposed to Natasha. I wasn’t sure if it was due to guilt or something he’d already planned, but I smiled and congratulated them both as if nothing had happened. I could still feel him inside me even though it had only been a few seconds.

After that, things had gotten even tenser between the two of us. We’d never really been friendly and resentment had set in as we both kept the secret of what had nearly happened that night. Though that wasn’t why we now hated each other.

* * *

I hadn’t planned on seducing Brad. I’d just wanted to test him to make sure he was going to be faithful to Natasha. I knew that the best place to find that out would be at the bachelor party.

It was easy to sneak into the party and pretend that I was one of the dancers. I wore a long, raven wig and a mask over my face. I didn’t go straight up to Brad. That would have been too easy. I danced around the room, giving his friends lap dances, and kept my mouth shut as their fingers grabbed my breasts and butt.

I was wearing a thong bikini and a small top, so I knew I was attracting a lot of attention. I noticed a few of the other dancers staring at me as I danced, but I ignored them. I knew the less I said, the better.

To be fair to Brad, I didn’t see him getting many dances. He laughed and brushed the girls away as he drank his beers. I pulled one of his friends to the side and told him that I wanted to give the bachelor a private dance as was customary for bachelor parties. I told him to get Brad to sit down in one of the soft leather chairs and to dim the lights. Of course, the guy was happy to oblige.

The lights dimmed within minutes and the music went up. I watched as Brad sat down in the chair and grinned. This was it, then. This was the test. I wanted to see how far he’d go. I wasn’t going to push it. I just wanted to make sure he was trustworthy.

I danced over to Brad and wiggled my ass in front of him. He shook his head as I wiggled my ass on his lap, but he stopped as his friends started groaning.

“You have to have one dance, Brad.”

They grinned and laughed, and I watched as he shrugged and danced. He gave me a quick smile, and I started dancing again. I hadn’t seen any recognition in his eyes, so I knew that he didn’t know who I was.

I started the dance pretty conservatively, but soon I was writhing around in his lap to the beat of the music. I peeled my bikini top off and threw it into the crowd. Some of the guys were clapping, and I grinned at them before grabbing Brad’s hands and placing them on my breasts. He was hesitant at first, but soon, he seemed to be enjoying himself, and his fingers squeezed my breasts and pinched my nipples eagerly.

I was disappointed that he was getting so into it, but I knew that I had to continue to see how far he would go. I tried to ignore the part of me that was excited to see what would happen. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I was enjoying the dance as much as he was. I continued gyrating on him, and I moaned as I felt his hardness against my ass. It was almost time to see if he would stop me if I went to squeeze his cock. However, before I had time to reach behind me, I felt his hand between my legs and his fingers squeezing inside my thong.

“Oh.” I froze for a second as I felt his fingers gently rubbing my clit.

“I know who you are,” he whispered into my ear as his fingers played with me.

I turned around to look at him, and his eyes burned into mine.

“I don’t know what game you’re playing, Saskia,” he whispered into my ear again, and I felt one of his fingers enter me. “I don’t know why you’re doing this to me.”

“What are you doing?” I moaned, not wanting to stop the charade.

“I’ve thought about this ever since that night in Vermont,” he said, groaning as he fingered me.

“Brad.” I shook my head and got off of his lap. He grabbed my thong and pulled it down my legs.

“I think you need to finish your dance.” He sat back in the chair and stared at me for a few seconds with hazy eyes.

And I had. I’m ashamed to admit it. I think we’ve both blacked out that memory. I fucked him on the chair in front of his friends and they all cheered us on. They all cheered on as if it were fine. When we’d both come, I’d gotten up and left and that had been it. We’d never spoken about that night.

I was ashamed of myself and disgusted with him. I knew that, if Natasha ever found out, it would break her heart.

I started laughing again then, loud and sad laughter. This moment with Dominic and Aiden was payback. Payback for sleeping with my best friend’s husband.

“What’s so funny?” Tom walked out of the bathroom, dripping wet, a towel hanging loosely around his waist.

“Why did you take a shower?” I shook my head in confusion. “You just got here a few hours ago.”

“I wanted to be clean when I met your friends.”

“What friends?”

“Exactly.” He plopped down on the bed next to me, drops of water flying from his body onto mine. “None of them are your friends.”

“What’s your point, Tom?”

“Why are we here?” He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. “Let me take you home.”

“Tom,” I groaned, worried that he was going to attempt to make a move on me. Not a “making love” move either, but an “I love you, so let’s try and make this work” move.

“I don’t understand why you—”

“No.” I grabbed his arm. “Please, Tom. Not now.” I sighed and rubbed my forehead. “I don’t need this right now.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I sighed. “I just called Natasha.”

“Oh?”

“I spoke to Brad.”

“Oh.” Tom made a face. “Awkward still?”

“Yeah.” I sighed. “It’s still awkward.”

“Don’t let it bum you out.” He shrugged.

“I feel like I’m a horrible friend and that everything that’s happened this weekend is what I deserve.”

“It’s not your fault.” Tom’s hand crept up to my breast. “You can’t help it if you’re a sexual creature.”

“That’s not what this is about,” I snapped and pushed his hand away.

I stared at him as if I didn’t know him. Tom had always been the guy I called to comfort me, but now I was starting to wonder if he’d ever really provided comfort. Yes, he provided sex, but maybe sex wasn’t the way to make me feel better about everything. As I thought back to that night with Brad, I felt my stomach churning with guilt and pleasure.

“Don’t tell me to stop,” Tom hissed back at me, and I froze.

“Excuse me?” I stared at him in surprise.

“You think you’re going to give it up to everyone else but me?”

“Tom!” My voice was shrill, and he sighed.

“Sorry.” He jumped up and the towel fell to the bed. “This is just getting old.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that if you want me to stick around, you’re going to have to show me.”

“What, do you want a blow job?” I snapped. “Is that it?”

“Oh no.” He turned around and smiled at me. “I want a whole lot more than that.”

“Tom, it might have been a mistake bringing you here.” I looked at him sadly. “I don’t think this is going to work out.”

“Oh?” He looked at me with sad eyes.

“You’ve been my best friend for years, but I don’t know if this is what I want anymore. I think you need to leave.”

“Are you sure about that?” His voice was harsh.

I knew that our relationship had come to the end of its road. I didn’t trust Tom anymore. Not that I was the most trustworthy, but I didn’t feel like he had my best interests at heart.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” I nodded and got up. “I’m going into the shower. I expect you to be gone by the time I’m out.”

“Okay.” He ran his hands through his hair and paused. “I’m sorry, Saskia.”

“Sorry about what?”

“It doesn’t matter.” His eyes looked sad. “Just that I’m sorry.”

I walked into the bathroom then, not knowing what to say. I turned on the bath and poured some Epsom salts into the tub. I was about to step into the tub when I remembered that I had some lavender oil in my handbag. I opened the door to the bedroom and paused as I heard Tom talking.

“I’m leaving now.” His voice sounded devoid of all emotion. “Yes, she seemed angry. No, I don’t know. She didn’t tell me. Look, don’t call me again, and I expect to see the money in my account tomorrow. I did what you asked.” He paused then, and I peeked into the room to see who he was talking to. I realized he was on the phone, and I quickly pulled my head back into the bathroom. “She was never mine,” he said sadly and then laughed. “And contrary to what you think, she’ll never be yours either.” The room went silent then, and I heard the door close a few minutes later.

I peeked into the bedroom again and saw that he was gone. I wanted to run after him and ask him who he’d been talking to, but I didn’t. I knew that he wouldn’t tell me. He’d betrayed me and my friendship, all for some money.

I sat on the bed in shock and wondered who had contacted him and what they had wanted to know. Who wanted me that badly? It had to be Aiden or Dominic, but I didn’t know which one. I didn’t even know how they knew about Tom. I froze as I realized my world was unraveling around me. Everything I thought I knew, everything I’d been so certain of, was coming apart.

This is the point where you wonder who it was Tom had been speaking to. I can’t tell you. Not yet. Not until you hear about everything else. You see, Tom was wrong about one thing. He’d told the person on the phone that I’d never be his. I did become his. I am his. However, becoming his wasn’t the happily ever after most of you are hoping I found.

Chapter 21

The knock on the door made me freeze. I didn’t want to see Aiden or Dominic, and I sure didn’t want Tom to show back up again. I needed time to think about what I’d heard. Who had told Tom to leave? There was another knock on the door, but I ignored it.

“We need to talk,” she said in a shrill voice as she opened the door and entered the room.

I almost groaned when I saw Jessie. She was the last person I wanted to see.

“What do you want?” I asked her none too politely. I had no reason to hide my dislike of her.

“How dare you think that it’s okay to come here and sleep with a married man?”

“Excuse me?” I stared at her with a smile on my face. “Is that any of your business?”

“I’ll tell his wife.” Her eyes narrowed. “And that will be the end of you.”

“I don’t think you will.” My voice was tight as I walked toward her. “You wouldn’t want to do a bitchy thing like that, would you?”

“What you’re doing is not right.”

“But it was okay for you?” I tilted my head and stared at her, wondering if I had the energy to give her a slap and possibly get into a catfight.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Her eyes looked at me with a dark look.

“Does Dom—I mean Evan—know?” I smiled.

“What do you care?” It was Jessie’s turn to smile at me. “I satisfy every inch of him as well.” She grinned and casually lifted up her left hand. I saw a gigantic diamond ring on her finger and froze. “And now he’s proposed.” She smiled evilly. “So now that I‘m a part of the family, I’m afraid I’m going to have to insist that you stop fucking my future mother-in-law’s husband.”

“That’s your job, right?”

“You have no idea, bitch.” She took a step toward me, and I was pretty sure she was about to hit me when Dominic came into the room.

“Jessie, what are you doing in here?”

“I wanted to show Sluttier my ring.” She giggled and walked back to Dominic.

“My name’s Saskia.” I glared at her and waited for Dominic to say something to her.

“Oops. Sorry. What did I say?” She smiled up at Dominic, and I watched as he kissed her forehead.

“Jessie, give me a moment with Saskia, please.”

“Sure, honey.” She reached up, gave him a long kiss, and then waved at me. “Remember what I said,” she whispered before leaving the room.

Dominic closed the door behind her, and I watched as he pulled a key out of his pocket and locked it.

“It’s nice to know there are locks on the doors.” I rolled my eyes as he walked to me.

“You should leave.” He stopped right in front of me and frowned.

“Why? So you and your fiancée can feel better about yourselves?”

“I didn’t want the weekend to go like this.” He sighed.

“You wanted something else?”

“You know I wanted it to be me and you.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I would have canceled my plans.”

“Yet, instead, you bring your girlfriend and propose.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It never is.”

“My parents really like her. They want to see us married. It’s my dad who introduced us.” His voice was pained, and I wanted to laugh.

Did he really have no clue? Was it possible that he hadn’t realized that Jessie had been with his dad before him?

“I don’t know what to say.” I looked away from him.

“We’ve both made mistakes here, Saskia. I don’t want to lose you.”

“What do you want us to do?”

I don’t even know why I asked that question. I didn’t care what he wanted us to do. I wanted him to drop Jessie and tell me that he wanted to start again. That he wanted to start anew.

I told you that something must have happened to my brain. Never before in my life would I even have considered wanting to be with someone, let alone someone who had basically lied to me and cheated on me.

“I don’t know.” He made a face and reached his hand out to touch my cheek. “Right now I just want to fuck you.”

“Did you just sleep with Jessie?” I asked him softly. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he had.

Now, I’m not trying to be a bitch or a hypocrite, but I wasn’t interested in being sloppy seconds, especially to someone like Jessie. Most women know what I’m talking about when I say that there are some women who just annoy the shit out of you so much that you can’t understand how or why they have friends or a man. It makes no sense.

And it burned—I’m not going to lie. It burned because I wanted Dominic. And I’d imagined him changing my life. In a way that I’d never thought I wanted, but I didn’t want him like this. It was different with Aiden. I’d known he was married when I’d met him and I’d never hoped for or wanted anything else.

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“She’s a good girl.” He shrugged. “I think you’d like her.”

“Are you serious right now?” My voice rose. Did he really think that Jessie was someone I’d ever like?

“Don’t go acting like a jealous bitch, Saskia. It doesn’t suit you, and frankly, it’s a butt of a joke.” His tone sounded arrogant and condescending, and I looked at him with hurt eyes. I couldn’t believe he was talking to me like this.

“Please leave.”

“But—"

He looked annoyed, and I turned away from him and waited for him to exit the room before sitting on the edge of the bed. I rested my head on my lap and just sat there for a few minutes, trying to ignore the feelings of pain thrashing around in my belly.

Then I had an idea. An idea so wicked and devious that I wondered if I could really go ahead with it.

It only took me five seconds to decide that I was definitely going ahead with it. It’s funny the decisions you can make in the heat of the moment. You never think about what a domino effect one rash decision could have. My plan was to be Jessie’s undoing, only it really turned out to equal mine.

The Master Plan For Jessie’s Undoing

You ever have an idea that you think is so brilliant, but really it’s only brilliant because you haven’t thought it all the way through? I wanted Jessie out of Aiden’s and Dominic’s lives. My end goal was simple. I wanted Dominic to realize that Jessie was a whore (and yes, I know how ironic that sounds). I wanted him to dump and banish her. Then I would dump Aiden and threaten to tell his wife about me and Jessie if he tried to break me and Dominic up. I was ready to be done with Aiden. He wasn’t the only one who could support me, and he wasn’t the one I wanted.

I had it all planned out in my head. The absolute master plan, but there was one person I needed to make it all work out. That person was Tom.

I wasn’t going to tell him the plan. I knew he wouldn’t go through with it if he knew what I wanted him to do. Not because he wouldn’t enjoy it, but because he didn’t want to help me get Dominic. I knew that, once he figured out what was going on, he would never talk to me again or at least for a very long time, but I was willing to risk it.

That was mistake number one in my plan. I didn’t realize how important of a friend he was going to be until later on. Using Tom created the beginning of the end and the beginning of a new beginning for me.

I texted Tom a very short and simple text message:

Me: Meet me at the Marriott tonight at 7 pm. The lights will be out and I’ll be waiting in the bed for you. Don’t talk, just come and take me. I need to feel you inside of me. I miss you. I’ll be in the penthouse suite.

He texted me back in two minutes with a smiley face. I laughed to myself. That had been way too easy.

Next was the hard part. I found a piece of paper and a pen and wrote: “Jessie, I’ve planned a romantic getaway at the Marriott tonight. In the penthouse! Arrive at 6:30 p.m. Put on the blindfold at the side of the bed and make sure all the lights are turned out. Take your clothes off and wait for me, naked. Also, spray yourself a few times with the perfume I bought for you. Don’t talk when I enter the room. I want us to just enjoy the feelings and emotions without talking. I’ll have a special present waiting for you afterward. XOXO, me.”

I decided not to put Aiden or Dominic’s name in the hopes that she would just assume it was from whichever one she wanted to be with most. I folded the letter quickly and then left my room. I needed to make sure she saw the note and read it soon. But I also needed to make sure that no one else saw it. If Dominic saw the letter, everything would be ruined.

I smiled to myself when I saw that Jessie was swimming in the pool. I left the note on her towel and stood inside the living room to make sure she saw the letter when she got out of the pool. I stood there anxiously. I was worried that someone was going to come into the living room and ask me what I was doing spying on Jessie.

It wasn’t like I was about to go and throw a hair dryer or something electrical in the pool. I wasn’t psychotic—just a bitch.

Jessie got out of the pool in a skimpy bikini, and my eyes narrowed. I wasn’t sure why she had bothered to put on anything. I could see everything but her nipples. Her thong bikini wasn’t leaving much to the imagination either.

I’m not going to lie. I was slightly jealous. She had a hot body. Maybe even hotter than mine. And she was pretty hot—if you like hot, evil witches. All I could see was bitch, bitch, bitch.

I was happy that the first part of my plan was underway. I knew I had hit a home run because Jessie’s grin was huge as she read the letter. I’d never seen her look so happy. Part one had gone as planned.

Part two was just as easy. I reserved the penthouse for two nights with Aiden’s American Express card before I went over and put a new bottle of my perfume next to the bed. I always wore Vera Wang’s Princess, and I knew Tom would recognize the scent. I tried on the silk-lined, fur blindfold and rolled on the bed. I could see nothing and it felt sexy and sensual, just as I’d hoped.

I lay on the bed for a few seconds, grinning. This plan was going to work perfectly. I checked my watch and went down to the bar and waited. Jessie arrived as planned, right at 6:30 p.m. I pulled my phone out, waited until it turned to 6:45 p.m., and texted Dominic.

Me: Meet me at the Marriott. I’ll be in the penthouse. Go to the front desk to get a key.

I sat back and waited for him to respond. My heart started racing when ten minutes passed and he still hadn’t responded. Don’t tell me he was going to be the wrench in the plans. Everything would be for nothing if Dominic wasn’t there to witness anything. I nearly cried in relief when he texted me back about five minutes later.

“I’ll be there,” was all he said, but it was all I needed.

I ordered a pear martini then. I figured I could celebrate. I drank with glee when Tom arrived at 6:55 p.m. I loved that Tom was always so eager. It was a pity that the whole friends-with-benefits thing hadn’t worked out, but I no longer trusted him. I still wanted to know who he had been on the phone with, but I was going to have to figure that out later.

I watched as Tom walked to the front desk to get his key. He knew the drill by now. We’d had plenty of hotel hookups. It killed me that I had to wait down here while the fun went on upstairs, but I pulled out my earphones, plugged them into my phone, and pulled up my Youstream account. I had hooked up my small digital video camera to face the bed so that I was live-streaming everything that was going on in the room. This was going to be good.

The screen was dark at first, but there was a little light coming in from the curtains that Jessie and I had not closed. I also noticed that there were candles burning next to the bed. My jaw dropped when I saw that there was a whip as well. I should have known that Jessie was going to come prepared. I just wish I knew who she was expecting to show up.

I’d been avoiding Aiden’s texts and calls all day, and I knew that he would not be happy that I had gone rogue this weekend. This plan had to work because I knew I couldn’t sleep with him again. I wanted Dominic, and I was going to get him.

I stared at the screen and realized that Jessie was lying naked on top of the sheets. I’d rather she’d have been under the sheets. That way Tom would have to look and see her and know that it wasn’t me. She also had a Brazilian wax, whereas I had a landing strip. I wasn’t sure how much Tom paid attention to these things, but I was starting to panic again.

I watched as Tom went into the room. Jessie opened her mouth and said something, and I froze. I’d told them both to be quiet. If they spoke too much, they’d know. I frowned as I stared at the screen, not knowing what was happening and not being able to hear anything. Tom walked across the room then and ripped off his clothes before jumping onto the bed. I couldn’t see what was happening because his back filled up the screen.

That’s when Dominic arrived—tall, sexy, drop-dead gorgeous Dominic. I stared at him and grinned as I pulled off my earphones and dropped a twenty on the table. I waited for him to pick up the key and then I ran to the elevator.

“Hi.” I walked up to him and gave him a big kiss.

“Hi, to you, too.” He kissed me back passionately and ran his hands through my hair.

“I’m glad you came.”

“Yeah.” His hands ran down my back to my ass. “I’ve been thinking about fucking you for the last couple of hours. Of course, I came.”

“You’re going to come a lot tonight.” I grinned, already picturing us sharing his main room tonight. I didn’t even care that he’d shared it with Jessie the day before. She was on her way out and I would soon be in my proper place.

It’s funny how we can fool ourselves into believing shit when we’re on a mission. Sometimes I look back and think to myself that, if I’d just gotten us a key for our own room and forgotten the plan, things could have been so much different.

I opened the door to the suite with Dominic’s fingers rubbing me between my legs. I was almost upset that we had to wait to get laid, but I was too excited to be very annoyed.

“What’s that?” I exclaimed in shock as I opened the door and the sounds of Jessie’s moans were loud and rapid.

“Is the room occupied?” Dominic frowned, and we walked in slowly.

“Maybe it’s the TV?” I shrugged and grabbed his hand. “I want you so badly.” I grabbed his hard cock and squeezed it before we walked in farther.

I couldn’t stop grinning as I could hear the clear noises of lovemaking. Tom was grunting and Jessie was almost screaming as they fucked.

“Do me harder!” she screamed out. Her legs were wrapped around his waist and we watched as he flipped her legs up over her shoulders and started pounding her.

“Do you like that, bitch?”

“Yes!” she screamed as he moved back and forth even faster.

“What the fuck?” Dominic’s voice cut through the room, and I saw Tom drop her legs and look back at us. Jessie removed her blindfold and blinked rapidly.

“Dominic!” Her voice sounded shocked.

“Jessie?” His tone was uneven, and I could see his nostrils flaring.

Jessie leaned over and turned on the bedside lamp. Her face was red, and she stared at us in shock and then at Tom. Tom’s expression was one of surprise and his eyes narrowed as he stared at me.

“What the fuck, Jessie?”

“I, uh…” she mumbled and bit her lip. Then she looked at Tom again. “Who the fuck are you?”

“I was sent.”

“Did he send you?” she gasped. “Is he testing me?” She jumped up and ran to Dominic. “I’m sorry!” she cried and crushed herself against his chest. “I don’t know that man.”

Dominic frowned and gave me a small look, and I shrugged, pretending ignorance.

“Who do you think is testing you?” I looked at Jessie with an evil smile. “Aiden?”

“You bitch.” Her eyes narrowed as she stared at me.

I watched as she pressed her naked body into Dominic’s even harder. I could feel my face going red as I watched him stroking her back. I thought I was going to explode. This was not how this was supposed to go.

“Let me call my dad and see what the fuck is going on.” Dominic went over to a chair and sat down. “Who are you?” he asked Tom as he pulled his clothes on.

“You don’t even wanna fucking know.” Tom shook his head and ran to the door. “I hope I never see any of you fuckers again.”

“That was rude.” Jessie shivered and pouted as she sat next to Dominic.

“I can’t believe you slept with him.” Dominic stood up and looked down at her with a shocked expression.

“I thought it was…” She paused and started crying. It was then that I knew she’d been hoping it had been Aiden. I tried to stop myself from rolling my eyes and reaching over to pull her hair. “Wait.” Her eyes narrowed and she looked at me. “What are you two doing here anyway?”

“Didn’t you expect to see Dominic?” I asked innocently. “I mean, who did you think you were fucking with such wild abandon?”

“I need you to leave.” Her voice turned cold. “Dominic, you need to tell her to leave.”

Dominic looked at me and gave me a look. My blood turned cold as I realized that he wanted me to leave. I couldn’t believe that he was doing this to me.

“Dominic, I thought we were going to talk.” I raised my eyebrow at him. Don’t do this to me, Dominic, I thought to myself. You cannot do this to me.

“Jessie, I have to leave. Saskia and I have to talk.” He sighed. “I’ll speak to you tonight.”

“You’re leaving?” Her eyes were wide with hurt.

“I think that’s best.” His tone was derisive. “We need to talk.”

“I can talk now if you want…” Her words trailed off as she stared at him.

“Not now. Saskia and I have to go.”

“Whatever.” Jessie walked back to the bed and lay down.

I stood there for a moment feeling like I was having an out-of-body experience. This whole situation seemed surreal. Their conversation felt surreal. I really didn’t understand what sort of relationship they had. I should have known at that point that something was seriously fucked up, but I guess you don’t see what you don’t want to see.

“So tell me, Saskia. What the fuck?” His eyes narrowed as we left the room.

“What do you mean?” I asked innocently.

“I mean exactly what I said.” He grabbed my arm and pushed me against the wall. “What the fuck?”

“I don’t know why you’re blaming me.” I shrugged.

Now, you might be thinking that my plan failed. You might be thinking that it’s obvious that I set everything up. At this point, that doesn’t matter. That was only part one of my plan. Part two of my plan was still in progress. It still had to work out. Part two of my plan was the most important! Part two would mean the end of Dominic and Jessie. At least that was what I hoped.

Now, you have to understand that I wasn’t in my right mind. Normally, I’d never do something like this. Normally, I’d just find someone else, but I felt like I had something to prove. Jessie had come into my jungle and was trying to be the lion. There was no way I was going to back down.

“How did we both end up in the room?”

“Maybe the hotel clerks messed up the reservation because the same name was used.”

“You mean me and my dad?” His eyes narrowed and his breathing was hard.

“You said it, not me.”

“How are you going to make this up to me?” He pulled me toward him hard.

“What do you want?” I grinned at him as he started squeezing my breasts.

“What do you think?” He grinned back.

“I think you want us to get another room.” I grinned.

“Nope.” He shook his head. “I don’t want us to get a room.”

“Oh?” I looked at him in confusion.

“Let‘s have some fun in the elevator.“

“Hmm.” I frowned. I wasn’t concerned with sex in the elevator as much as I was concerned that part two might not go as planned. “Can I go and get a drink first?”

“You need a drink to fuck me?” He pressed into me so that I could feel his hardness against my stomach.

“I need a drink after all that drama.” I raised an eyebrow. “I’m not used to such craziness.”

“You are the craziness.” He laughed and leaned down to kiss me. “Hmm, you taste so good.”

“So do you.” I kissed him back. “I should be offended by that.”

I sucked on his tongue and ran my hands through his hair. It felt so good being with Dominic that I almost forgot how angry I was with him.

“Let’s go grab that drink.” He grinned. “We’ve got an elevator to fuck in.”

I grabbed his hand and laughed as we made our way down to the bar. I excused myself, went to the bathroom, and rolled my eyes as I saw about ten angry text messages from Tom. I texted him back.

Me: She’s still in the room if you want to come.

Tom: You bitch. He texted back and I grinned to myself. I had no problem with being called a bitch by him.

Me: You going back up?

Tom: Do I have eight inches of hardness that needs to blow a load?

Me: Enjoy.

Tom: Dirty whore.

Me: And I like it.

I closed my phone, sat on the toilet seat for a moment, and closed my eyes. I wasn’t sure that was true anymore. I wasn’t judging myself for my past, but I knew I’d made some mistakes.

I answered the phone as it rang without looking at the screen. “What do you want, dickhead?”

“Saskia?” Natasha’s voice was soft.

“Oh, hey. Sorry.” I made a face into the phone. “I thought you were someone else.”

“Uh-huh.” She laughed. “Brad said you called?”

“I just wanted to say hi.”

“He said you sounded upset.”

“I’m surprised he could tell.” I rolled my eyes.

“Saskia.” She sighed. Natasha’s greatest wish was for me and Brad to get on as friends.

“I’m just being honest,” I huffed out. “I have to go, though.”

“Okay.” Her voice rose. “Call me when you’re ready to talk. I’ll be here.”

“Thank you.” I smiled into the phone. Natasha was always such a good friend to me. “I miss you.”

“Let’s hang out soon.”

“Next weekend?”

“Yeah. Why don’t you bring Tom? He can hang out with Brad.”

“I didn’t know they were that close.”

“Oh, they play golf every week.” She sounded surprised. “Tom never told you?”

“There’s a lot he’s never told me.” My mind swirled a hundred miles a minute.

“Maybe you need to stop with Aiden, Saskia. Take a break from men.”

“Are you telling me to become a lesbian?”

“No.” She laughed. “Though I don’t know that that would be such a bad thing.”

“Natasha,” I groaned.

“That’s my name.” She paused. “But seriously, you need to start thinking about your life and your future a bit more. You need to make some changes. Even Brad thinks so.”

“What does Brad think?” I waited for Natasha to answer me, not even sure why I cared.

“He thinks you need the love of a good man. He thinks you need to get married,” Natasha rushed out, and my blood boiled.

“Of course, he does.” I rolled my eyes.

“He said that he thinks that you need to stop fucking around and follow your heart.”

“I see.” I paused. “Well, I have to go.”

“Call me tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” I hung up and texted Tom.

Me: Did you speak to Brad about me?

Tom: Why? He texted back immediately.

Me; Don’t you ever talk to Brad about me again.

Tom: Don’t worry. I’m more concerned about having that blonde bitch suck me off.

Me: You’re going back up to the room?

Tom: Wasn’t that your plan?

I laughed as I turned off the phone and pushed it back into my handbag. That was my plan. It was obvious to me that Tom and Jessie would freak out once we walked into the room. They’d stop fucking, and I’d look shady. However, I also knew how good Tom was in bed and I had a pretty good idea that Jessie was as open-minded when it came to sex as I was. I knew that, if Tom came back for seconds, Jessie wouldn’t say no. At least I was hoping she wouldn’t say no. My whole plan counted on her not saying no.

Dominic had to know that something fishy was up. There was no way around that. However, if he walked in on Jessie and Tom at it again, after being caught the first time, he couldn’t blame that on anyone other than Jessie. He’d dump her ass so fast. And then I would be his one and only.

I grinned as I thought about introducing him to Brad as my man. Brad could eat cake. I left the bathroom and walked back to the table. Dominic had already ordered us two drinks.

“I left something in the room.” I sighed. “I think my phone fell out of my bag.”

“Okay.”

“After the drinks, can we please go and get it?”

“I want to get laid.”

“I’ll suck you off right now if you can wait ten additional minutes to fuck me in an elevator full of people.”

“On your knees, then.” He grinned at me, and I heard him undoing his zipper. “Don’t get up until I come.”

“Demanding, aren’t you?”

“That’s how you like it.” He nodded, indicating I should get below, and I took a quick gulp of the alcohol before getting under the table and taking him in my mouth.

I know, I know. It’s demeaning. Slightly. But I didn’t care. I wanted him in my mouth. I knew the power I had sucking on his cock. Even if it was under the table in a restaurant with a tablecloth hiding me. This was what I wanted and needed. This was going to help me assert my power over him. At least that’s what I told myself. I didn’t think that if I’d said no there would be a hundred other women willing to go under the table saying yes.

I closed my eyes as I sucked. Dominic was already hard, and I knew that he wasn’t going to last long. My mind was already thinking about the look in his eyes as we’d walked into the hotel room earlier. He’d been shocked, slightly turned on, and slightly angry. I knew all he was going to be feeling was anger when he caught them in flagrante delicto again.

I was right. Dominic came quickly, and I eagerly swallowed his saltiness before crawling back to my chair. I chugged the rest of my drink and jumped up.

“Let’s go and get my phone.” I grabbed his hand.

We walked in silence back to the elevator and then to the room. I could barely contain my excitement. This was it! My plan was going to come to fruition.

As we used our key to get back into the room, I strained my ears to see if my plan had worked.

“Oh fuck, you’re so tight,” Tom’s voice groaned out and a spark of joy leapt up in me. YES! I thought to myself.

“Don’t stop!” Jessie screamed out. “I’m close to coming.”

“What the fuck?” Dominic’s voice was loud and angry and the room went silent.

“Dominic?” Jessie’s voice was shocked. “What are you… Ooh, ohhh, oh my God!” she screamed as she orgasmed.

I watched as Tom continued to fuck her for the next few seconds. I knew that he was going to make sure he came this time. He didn’t care who was in the room.

“Are you okay?” I grabbed Dominic’s arm and his eyes were wide with shock.

He shook his head and took a deep breath. “Find your phone. I’ll be outside.” He marched back through the door.

I stood there with a smile on my face.

“I’m sure you’re happy.” Tom glared at me as he jumped off the bed and pulled his clothes on. “It’s been fun. Thanks, Gemma.” He nodded down at Jessie and walked away.

“It’s Jessie.”

“Yeah, whatever.” He shrugged and walked out of the room. “See ya.” The look he gave me was one of pity.

I frowned. Who did he think he was to pity me? He was the one who’d gone back and fucked her like some sort of loser.

“You think you got the better of me, bitch?” Jessie slowly climbed out of the bed and stared at me with hatred in her eyes. “You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into, do you?” She laughed then, a long, evil laugh. “You’re going to regret the day you ever decided to mess with me.” She ran her hands through her hair and leaned forward, her lips next to my ear. “This is me telling you now that you’ve gone and messed with the wrong girl.” She pulled back and walked away then.

I stood there for a few seconds, feeling jubilant, and then left the room and walked up to Dominic.

“Are you okay?” I grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

His expression was blank, and he didn’t look at me or answer. I stood there for a few minutes with him in silence, wondering what was going on in his head. Had he really loved Jessie? My stomach was rumbling and my high was coming down fast. What the hell was going on? Why was he so upset? I didn’t know what to think or what to do.

Now, I know that I should have left. I should have run far, far away. Because Jessie had been right. I had no idea what I’d gotten myself into. I had no idea that everything was about to blow up in my face. There wasn’t going to be a happy ending for Dominic and me. In fact, everything I thought I knew about him was turned upside down in a matter of days.

My whole existence was turned upside down when I found out his explosive secret. A secret that only two other people knew. A secret that ensured that my world was about to change. Dominic had never been the man I’d thought he was going to be. However, maybe that was why I was so attracted to him. Dominic was a more fucked-up version of myself.

Chapter 22

Looking back, I should have realized that everything was a lot crazier than I’d thought. If I weren’t so self-obsessed, I would have known. To this day, I still have nightmares about that night. It’s something I can never erase from my brain. It’s something that even I can’t seem to get over. I never expected it, and I’m still shocked. And that’s saying something. I’m never shocked. I mean, I’ve fucked men with other men watching. I’ve given blow jobs just to get into clubs. I’ve slept with my best friend’s fiancé. I’ve done things that aren’t acceptable. Yet I’m still shocked.

There’s one thing you need to know. I could have forgiven Dominic anything. Absolutely anything, but I couldn’t forgive him for this. This was too much. This took even my breath away. It’s fitting in a way. It used to be that I was the one who shocked everyone. Now, there’s nothing I can do that will ever be as shocking as what he did. Ironically, the day that changed everything was the day that I thought was going to be the start of something beautiful.

Do you know what betrayal feels like? It’s soul sucking, pain crushing, heart breaking, and it’s even worse when no one but you cares. I’ve never felt so alone before. How can you expect someone to feel bad for you when life blows up in your face when you were in the wrong in the first place? What’s that saying? Karma’s a bitch? I‘m here to tell you that the saying is true. Karma is a bitch.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. When I was growing up, my life wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t devastatingly horrible. I know most people don’t want to hear that. I mean, I’m so fucked up you’d think something really bad had happened to me. I’m just jaded and I don’t think I’m going to get any better.

After my little trick with Jessie and Tom, I thought I’d won. I thought Dominic was all mine and that getting rid of Aiden would be easy with a bit of blackmail about telling his wife. It’s funny how things can change in an instant. I’m not even sure why I thought it would be so easy. I guess that, when you’re used to having your own way, that‘s an easy thing to expect.

I wasn’t prepared to be crushed. I wasn’t prepared to be mutilated and diced into quarters. Not me physically, but my heart, of course. I could barely believe it when it went down. I can barely believe it now.

When Dominic and I left the hotel that day, we didn’t go to a room to have sex. That was the first thing that shocked me. He really seemed upset at what had happened between Jessie and Tom. That had upset me. I mean, who wants to see their guy getting jealous over another girl? That should tell you exactly how much he thought about me. And yes, I know that, technically, he wasn’t my guy, but try telling my teeny-weeny heart that.

You might think I’m overreacting about what happened, so I’m going to tell you step by step exactly what went down and you can let me know what you think. How would you have reacted?

The day my heart was shocked and broken

I decided to have a bath when I got back. Partially because I thought Dominic might try to slip into my room for the quickie we hadn’t had in the hotel. Oh, isn’t it funny how we convince ourselves that everything will be fine when all signs point to a completely different ending?

My bath was short and unfulfilling. Dominic didn’t join me, and I received a phone call from Brad. I nearly didn’t answer the phone because he was the last person I wanted to talk to, but I answered just in case something had happened to Natasha.

“What?” I snapped into the phone. I was already in a bad mood.

“How are you doing?” His voice was soft, and my heart stopped.

You ever have one of those moments when you remember something from the past and you feel a slight tinge of pain and regret at how things turned out? It’s usually because it makes you realize that you messed up at some point in your life. I try to live with no regrets, but how can any of us have no regrets?

“I’m fine. What‘s up?”

“I was thinking of you and I just wanted to make sure you were all right.”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t care.” His voice was bitter.

“Then don’t bother calling me.” I hung up then and cried.

I cried for the life of normalcy I wished I had. I cried for all the uncertainty and unknowing. I cried because I knew that Dominic didn’t love me even though I didn’t want to accept or acknowledge that.

When I got out of the bath and looked in the mirror, I realized just how young I looked. My face was red and splotchy, and for the first time, I saw the very real sadness in my eyes. For the first time, I realized just how alone I was, and it scared me. I was scared with every fiber of my being. Do you know what it is to feel alone? To feel desperate? To feel as if the whole universe is going on like normal but you’re somehow stuck in a void of nothingness?

When I left the bathroom, there was a letter on my bed. A beautiful, white linen sheet of paper. That should have been my first clue. What man has crisp, white linen sheets of paper lying around?

The note was simple and sweet:

My dearest,

This has been a crazy weekend. I’m so sorry you had to go through all this drama. Let me make it up to you! I want to show you how special you are to me. Please give me a chance to explain. I hope we can move on from here.

Dominic

My heart expanded with hope and a certain satisfaction.

I know what you’re thinking, though. You’re thinking that it was a fake note crafted by Jessie, but I knew it had been written by Dominic because I recognized his handwriting. I tried to call him to tell him that I wanted to see him, but his phone just rang. About ten minutes later, he called me back. I grabbed the phone eagerly.

“Hello?”

“I want to fuck you. You turn me on.” His voice was loud.

“I want to fuck you too,” I breathed into the phone.

“Get naked for me.”

“Where shall I meet you?”

“Take your clothes off and let me watch.”

“Okay, but where should I meet you?”

“I want you to suck my cock while he watches.”

“Wait, what? Dominic?”

“You like that, don’t you?” His voice was lust filled, and I was about to ask him what he was talking about when my phone died.

I had no clue what the fuck was going on, but I wasn’t really thinking. I ran back to the bathroom and put on a robe over my naked body. I was going to show up with nothing on but the robe. Then I would drop it and push him down on the bed. My body shivered in anticipation. I couldn’t wait.

I decided to walk to Dominic’s bedroom. I was pretty sure that Jessie wasn’t going to show her cheating ass back in the house. I grinned to myself as I walked hurriedly to the bedroom.

I knew as soon as I got to his door that I was in for a great night. I could hear the sounds of jazz music playing in his room, and as I opened the door, the room was dark and there were candles lit.

I opened the door and was about to call out when I heard grunts. I smiled to myself as I realized he had gotten started by himself. I opened my robe and then paused as I realized there was movement on the bed. I froze and stared in shock.

Dominic was in here fucking Jessie?

“Sit on my face, you dirty bitch!” Aiden’s voice shouted into the room.

My mouth dropped in shock as my eyes adjusted to the dark. Jessie’s naked body was on top of the bed, and I could see her moving slightly. She starting crying out in pleasure, and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and hearing. Poor Dominic! I couldn’t believe that she and Aiden would have sex in his room.

That’s when the world stopped.

“Suck my big cock, Jessie.” Dominic’s voice was hoarse. “Take it into your mouth farther.” He groaned.

I took a small step toward the bed and saw that Jessie and Aiden weren’t breaking Dominic’s heart. In fact, he looked like he was in absolute pleasure as Jessie sucked him off. All three of them seemed to be completely into the threesome, and I knew in my heart that this wasn’t the first time it had happened.

I watched them all on the bed for a couple of minutes, and I felt as if I were frozen. What the fuck was going on here? I hurried out of the room with my eyes burning and ran back to my bedroom, stumbling over my own feet.

“Are you okay, Saskia?” Aiden’s wife came out of a bedroom and looked at me with caring eyes.

“I’m… I’m fine.” I looked away from her, feeling awful for her and what was going on in her house.

“You’ve just seen Jessie, then?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Kinda.” I bit my lower lip and looked into her suddenly cold eyes.

“Stop looking sorry for me. I’m not an idiot, Saskia, and neither is Jessie. Do you think we didn’t know that Dominic and Aiden brought you in to replace her?”

“Excuse me?” My voice rose and my eyes popped.

“The letter on your bed was the letter that Dominic gave Jessie a couple of years ago when she found out that he was sleeping with a different girl. I gave him the paper. It’s from my special collection.” She smiled at me.

“Huh?” I can tell you that, if shock could kill a person, I would have been dead then.

“Dominic and Aiden share women, Saskia. You should know that, seeing as you’re one of the pieces of trash that they share.”

“I, uh—”

“Don’t bother trying to lie to me.” She laughed and shook her diamond tennis bracelet. “Do you think you’re the first girl that’s been sleeping with my husband and then just happens to meet my son and starts sleeping with him?”

“This has happened before?” My voice was low.

“Jessie started as Aiden’s lover then started dating Dominic, and they enjoy their little romps.”

“You’re okay with this?”

“Don’t let the sweet act fool you, darling. I have my own lovers.” She smiled sweetly. “But I like Jessie. She’s the best girl we’ve had in this arrangement. I won’t have you replacing her.”

“I don’t want to sleep with your hus—with Aiden anymore.” I shook my head.

“Aren’t you glad that we showed you what awaits you if you stuck around?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Neither Dominic nor Aiden really want you, Saskia. They want the power of having you and using you. They can do whatever they want to you and you do it.”

“I don’t do whatever they want.”

“I can tell you’re not into the threesome.” She laughed cruelly. “Best for you to pack your bags and don’t come back.”

“Your whole family is sick.” I shuddered.

“But we’re rich.” She smiled, looked at her wedding ring admiringly, and showed it to me. “This is a ten-carat diamond ring.” She smiled as she waved it in my face. “Such a pretty ring, isn’t it?”

I stared at her in shock for a while before I turned around, ran back to the room, and packed up my bags. I had to get out of this house of horrors. My mind was spinning.

Aiden and Dominic were sharing their women. Was that their plan for me as well? They wanted to share me? I shuddered as I grabbed my bags and then started giggling hysterically. Here I had been changing my whole mindset. Here I had been falling in love. Here I had been becoming a different person. And for what? Two people that were more fucked up than I was.

I grabbed my phone and called Tom to come and pick me up, but he didn’t answer. I pressed end on the phone when the voicemail came on to stop myself from crying into the phone. I didn’t want him to see my weakness. I then called Natasha instead, but she didn’t pick up.

“Natasha, it’s Saskia. I need your help. Please call me back.” I grabbed my bag and ran to the front of the house. I had just slammed the front door closed when my phone rang. It was Natasha.

“Hey, oh my God. I need your help. You will not believe what just happened.”

“It’s me, Saskia.” The voice was deep and wry, and I realized it was Brad.

“Where’s Natasha?”

“She went out and left her phone.”

“Oh.”

“I listened to your voicemail. Do you need help or not?” His voice was blunt.

I bit my lower lip. I needed a ride. I needed a place to stay. However, I knew that it wasn’t a good idea to accept the help from Brad. I needed it to come from Natasha. I needed to be in debt to her, not anyone else. I couldn’t allow myself to accept any help from Brad. I closed my eyes and wiped the tears from my cheeks. Tears that were running without my approval.

“Okay, come and get me,” I shot out and felt my heart pounding. I had no idea what I was doing, but all I knew was that I needed to get away from here, and fast.

“I’m coming.” His words were soft, and he hung up as soon as I gave him the address.

* * *

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that I’m a bitch and a mess. You’re thinking that nothing is sacred to me. You’re thinking that accepting a ride from Brad was a horrible thing to do, given our past. You might be right. I wish I could tell you that I’d just called a cab and gone to a motel. I wish I could tell you I’d gotten my act together after seeing the ménage à trois of my nightmares, but I can’t.

This is my true diary. This is my story. I warned you that it wasn’t going to be pretty. I warned you that you might not like me. You may even hate me by the end of my story. I told you before that love isn’t all fairy tales and sugary-sweet stuff. Sometimes it’s gritty and raw. Sometimes it’s full of heartaches and pain. Sometimes love even becomes the pain.

My phone rang while I was waiting for Brad to pick me up.

“Hello?”

“It’s me.”

“What do you want?” My voice was low and sad.

“I want you to give me another chance.”

“Whatever.” I sighed. “We’ve been over this before.”

“I love you, Saskia.” Tom’s voice cracked.

“No. No, you don’t.”

“Did you know that Natasha has her art exhibit tonight?”

“What? No?” I exclaimed.

“Yeah. Tonight’s her big night and you should be there. You’re her best friend.”

“I know.” I hung up the phone, not wanting to hear any more, and stared at the ground as everything sank in.

The car pulled up about thirty minutes later, and I slowly got into the passenger’s seat. Brad was wearing a tuxedo and a grim expression. He didn’t say anything to me as he took in my disheveled appearance. I sat back, closed my eyes, and stared out of the window. My heart was breaking inside for all the wrong reasons. I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Tom.

“Fine. I’ll give you another chance. Call me tomorrow.”

I turned my phone off as soon as I sent the text and turned on the radio. “I Only Have Eyes for You” played through the speakers and I started crying.

Chapter 23

When people look at me today, they think that I have the perfect life. I’m beautiful, I have enough money to be comfortable, and I have a man who loves me. They don’t know the hell I’ve been through. They don’t know the rot inside of my soul. It’s so easy to look from the outside and think, “Lucky her.” By all appearances, my life is perfect.

But appearances can be as fake as a plastic Barbie. I mean, it’s true that, some days, I’m the happiest person in the world. Some days, I can forget the person I was and still am. Some days, the anxiety and the fear are but a memory, but other days…

Other days are dark and gloomy and I’m just waiting for the ax to fall. I’m just waiting for karma to catch up with me. Sometimes I think it already has.

I know the big question you want to ask. Do I feel bad about the pain I’ve caused? Do I regret sleeping with so many men? I should say yes, right? It would make you like me more. It would make me look like I learned from my mistakes. But that would be lying! I don’t regret a single fuck! Not one.

* * *

“You want to talk about it?” Brad’s voice was soft, as if he actually cared about how I felt.

“Nope.” I continued to stare out of the window.

“Do you want to go home or to Natasha’s show?”

“Shouldn’t you be at the show?”

“Yes.” He turned the music down. “But you’re her best friend and I know that she would want me to help you. That’s what she’s always wanted, right? She wants us to be friends.”

“Come on, Brad.” I turned to look at him then. “How can we be friends?”

“I think we can.” He looked at me briefly, and I stared into his blue eyes. “What happened is in the past.”

“It shouldn’t have happened!” I cried out. “You cheated.”

“I didn’t want to go through with the wedding.” His voice was soft. “You know that.”

“I don’t want to talk about this.” My voice cracked as I remembered Brad begging me to give him a chance.

I didn’t want to remember that. I didn’t want to remember how much fun we’d had together. There’s something I didn’t tell you about my night with Brad. It lasted more than one night.

“We don’t have to talk about it.” He turned the music back up. “I’ll just take you home.”

“I don’t want to go home.”

“I meant to my place.”

“We can go to the show.” I wiped my tears and patted my face down. “I want to support Natasha.”

“She’ll be happy to see you.” He drummed his fingers against the steering wheel and then spoke again. “Will your friends be happy to know you left?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I sighed. “Let’s just go to the show.”

I gritted my teeth. I didn’t want to talk to Brad about Dominic and Aiden. I was also sad that Natasha hadn’t told me that she had finally put on an art exhibit. She’d dreamed of this all her life. Even though she was a pharmacist, she’d always been an artist at heart.

“You sure you can come to the show?” Brad looked at me and frowned. “Natasha’s mom and dad are there, and so is her uncle.”

“Of course. I’m fine,” I snapped. “Are you scared to have me around the in-laws? Scared I might say something?”

“Saskia, I wish you would.” His voice dropped to a low monotone. “Maybe then we can stop living this lie.”

“Stop living what lie?” I turned away from him. He couldn’t seriously believe that we were meant to be together, could he?

“You know that, from the first time I met you, I’ve had a thing for you.”

“Bradley.” My voice held a warning. “That’s enough.”

“You can’t pretend that you’ve never thought about what could have been.” He grabbed my leg, and I froze.

“Brad, you’re married to my best friend.”

“That didn’t stop you from fucking me, though.”

“I was testing you and you failed.”

“You failed the test too. No one told you to ride my cock until you came.”

“Brad!” I gasped. “Stop it.”

“Why?” He gave me a look. “You’re not a prude. You’ve banged half of New York.”

“So why do you still want me?”

“I want you because you’re one hell of a bang.” His fingers slid up my inner thighs. “I’ve never come so hard and so urgently before.”

“This is not appropriate.” I shook my head and closed my legs. That had been a mistake. I trapped his fingers next to my pussy and he rubbed me gently. “Stop.” I yanked his arm away. “That’s enough.”

“So, you do care about Natasha?” His voice changed, and he looked at me with narrowed eyes.

“You were testing me?” I frowned.

“I wanted to see if you would sleep with your best friend’s husband again.” He pulled into the parking lot.

“So, you were testing me.” I shook my head and gaped at him. “I thought you were serious there for a moment.” I laughed in relief and got out of the car.

“Nobody said I wasn’t.” He gave me a quick look before closing the door and walked into the building.

I followed behind him, walking slowly. What had he meant by his comment? I was thoroughly confused. Was he interested in me or not?

“Saskia!” Natasha ran towards me as soon as I entered the room.

“How did you know I was here?” I looked at her in surprise as she gave me a hug.

“Brad just told me.” She kissed my cheek. “I’m so glad that the two of you are finally getting along.”

“It just took the worst night of my life,” I joked, and she paused.

“Are you okay? Do you need to talk?”

I looked around the room then and noticed how many people were there. “We can talk later.” I smiled at her gratefully. “This is your night.”

“Okay.” She gave me another quick hug. “Come. I want you to meet my family.” She grabbed my arm, and we walked across the room. “Mom, Dad, this is my best friend, Saskia.”

I stared at the couple in front of me and smiled. Natasha’s mom and dad smiled at me, welcoming me into their circle, and I was appreciative of their openness. We had never met as Natasha and Brad eloped and during college, Natasha had always gone home to visit because her dad could never take off from work.

“Nice to meet you.” I held my hand out and shook hands first with her mom and then her dad.

“Don’t forget me.” Another man ran up to the group and gave me a flirtatious smile. He appeared to be in his forties with dark hair and sparkling brown eyes.

“This is my uncle, Mark.” Natasha laughed. “My dad’s younger brother.”

“Nice to meet you, Uncle Mark.”

“Just call me Mark.” He grinned as he held my hand for a few seconds too long.

“The show looks amazing.” I turned to Natasha. “It’s so packed in here.”

“Yes, it’s going better than I expected.” She smiled as she nodded.

“I’m going to get a drink. Anyone else want one?” Natasha’s dad asked politely, and I nodded.

“I’ll come with you. I’m dying for a drink.”

“Then we must make sure you get one.” He grinned at me, and I realized how similar he and Mark looked. If anything, he was even more handsome and distinguished-looking with his dash of silver hair.

“Yes, we must.” I laughed and grabbed ahold of his extended arm.

“So, Saskia, I’ve heard so much about you. I can’t believe we haven’t met before now.” He looked at me with a gentle smile.

“Uh-oh. What’s Natasha been telling you?” I groaned.

“Nothing.” He paused. “It’s Brad that talks about you all the time.”

“Oh.” I looked at him in surprise and blushed. “That’s surprising.”

“I guess you really made an impression on him.”

“I guess so.” I could feel my face going red.

“Don’t worry. He hasn’t said anything bad about you. Rather, he’s been very complimentary.”

“Wow.” I looked around the room and saw Brad in the corner talking on the phone and staring at us. “I didn’t think he liked me much.”

“What’s not to like?” His eyes smiled at me, and I blushed. “By the way, feel free to call me David.”

“I see where Natasha gets her friendly traits from.” I laughed and he grinned.

“Her mom and I are so proud of her.” His voice sounded wistful. “Makes me wish we had more kids.”

“You guys didn’t want more?”

“My wife never really wanted kids. I wanted to have a family the size of the Waltons.”

“Night, John-Boy.” I laughed, and he smiled at me.

“Exactly.” He sighed and turned to the bar. “What would you like to drink?”

“I’ll have a vodka Sprite, please.”

“So polite.” He smiled at me again and placed the order.

I couldn’t help but feel comfortable with David. He had all the charm and friendliness of Natasha and he made me feel right at home. He was the sort of father I wished I’d had growing up. Someone sweet and charming. Someone who pushed me. Someone who would be proud of me. Someone who would love me.

“You okay?” David handed me my drink.

“Yes, sorry. I was just thinking.”

“You’re too pretty to be thinking that hard.”

“Don’t I wish.” I laughed and drank down my drink. All of a sudden my mind was on Dominic and Aiden. What sort of sick fucks were they?

“There you are, brother.” Mark’s booming voice broke me out of my reverie.

“And there you are, Mark.” David’s voice sounded dry, and I looked up.

“My, my, who knew Natasha had such good-looking friends?” Mark looked me over and winked.

“Who knew she had such a good-looking uncle and dad?” I grinned back at him.

“You mean good-looking uncle.” Mark slipped his arm around my waist, and I felt his chest against my side.

“If you say so.” I smiled up at him easily.

“I do.” He licked his lips slowly, and I felt him press himself against me. I didn’t even flinch as I felt his hardness.

“Excuse my brother’s manners. He thinks he’s God’s gift to women.” David rolled his eyes.

“I don’t just think.” Mark chuckled and took a step back. “Excuse me.” He bowed his head as his hand brushed against my breasts. I was pretty confident that his touch hadn’t been an accident.

“Mark.” David frowned and pushed his brother out of the way. “Stop being a pig.”

“Stop being an old fart,” Mark shot back. “I’m just trying to get to know Saskia.”

“Hey.” Brad approached us. “How is everyone doing?” He gave me a gentle smile, and I felt my heart flutter for one brief second.

“We’re fine.” I looked away from him. I didn’t want to notice how blue his eyes looked or how buff his chest was. I didn’t want to remember his hands squeezing my breasts or gripping my waist as he lifted me up and down on his cock.

“Good.” He continued staring at me until I looked up and made eye contact with him. His face looked serious, and I felt slightly panicked. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking, but I didn’t dare.

“I was telling Saskia what a big admirer she had in you,” David said and looked back and forth at us. “My daughter is lucky to have such a great best friend and husband.”

“We both love Natasha.” I beamed at David.

“It’s important to have love in a marriage.” David looked at Brad.

“Yes it is,” Brad agreed. “I don’t know if one should continue in a marriage if there isn’t love.”

“You two old women are boring me,” Mark interrupted them. “Saskia, would you like me to show you around?”

“It’s fine. I’ll show her.” Brad grabbed my arm. “I have to talk to you about something anyway.”

“Okay.” I nodded and followed him to the side of the room.

“What do you think you’re playing at?” He frowned at me, and my jaw dropped at his tone.

“What?” I glared at him.

“You need to stop flirting with Mark.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t tell me. You want to fuck him too.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” My voice rose, and he grabbed my arm. “Where are we going?”

“Just come with me.” He pulled me into a dark corridor and pushed me back against the wall before he kissed me hard on the lips.

I felt his hands reach up to grab my breasts as he pushed his erection against me. I gasped against his lips, my heart thudding as he kissed me passionately. My hands weakly attempted to push him away, but I couldn’t stop myself from kissing him back. He tasted so good. Felt so hot and hard.

His fingers slipped up under my shirt and he pulled the cup of my bra down so he could pinch my nipple. I closed my eyes at his touch and tried to banish the guilt from my mind. His fingers slipped lower, and I felt his fingers slip into my panties before he started to rub my clit. My panties grew wet, and he groaned against my lips.

“I want to fuck you so badly.” He groaned, and it was as if something had hit me in the head.

I pushed him away from me with all my might and we both stood there staring at each other, gasping for air.

“What are you doing?” I groaned and adjusted my bra.

“What we both wanted to happen.” He shrugged, and I watched as he sucked on his fingers.

“Don’t.” I shook my head. “We can’t do this. You’re my best friend’s husband.”

“I want to be with you, Saskia.” He took a step toward me. “I want to make love to you. I want to be with you.”

“You know that’s never going to happen.” I pushed him away from me. “Stop this craziness, Brad.”

“You can’t tell me you don’t want to be with me.”

“I don’t want to be with you.” I bit my lower lip. “Stop it,” I breathed out as he grabbed my hands and pushed them against his crotch. He was harder than before, and he squeezed my fingers together so I could feel him properly.

“You see what you do to me.”

“This is wrong.” My hands grabbed ahold of him and I sighed.

“I want to eat you out and then fuck you hard,” he whispered in my ear. “Meet me in the bathroom tonight.”

“I can’t.” I shook my head and grabbed my hands back. “I have to go back and find Natasha.”

“Think about it, Saskia.” His voice was hoarse. “I’ll be waiting for you. We can make this work. We can be together if that’s what we both want.”

I hurried back into the room and raced over to the bar. I needed another drink. And fast. Then my phone rang.

“Hello,” I gasped into the phone, not even looking at the screen.

“Where are you?” Dominic’s voice was distant.

“I left.”

“Where did you go?”

“Why do you care?”

“Saskia, we need to talk.”

“I know about you and your dad and Jessie.”

“Saskia.” He paused. “It’s not what you think?”

“I saw you, Dominic.”

“It’s over,” he rushed out. “Let me see you.”

“You can’t be serious.” My voice expressed my disdain for him.

“We can be together, Saskia.”

“You’re a sick fuck, Dominic.”

“Let me make this up to you,” he pleaded. “You know the connection we had.”

“Dominic, do you really think I’m going to fuck you and your dad?”

“Why not? It’s not like you haven’t already.” He sounded bitter.

“Don’t call me again.” I hung up the phone and sighed. Could this day get any worse?

Mark walked up to me and smiled. “Want a drink?”

“I won’t say no.” I smiled at him gratefully.

“It’s been a long day for you, huh?”

“You can say that again.”

“It’s been a long day for you, huh?” he repeated, and we both laughed.

“Something like that.”

“Let me get you something stiff.” His eyes darkened as he looked at me and leaned toward me. “What would you like?”

“I’m not sure.” I shrugged, not bothering to move away from him as he moved closer to me.

“I think I know.” He grinned and brought his hands up to the bar.

“Oh?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yes, I know.” His fingers moved forward deliberately, and I felt them brush over my nipples. “They’re hard as rocks.” He smiled at me as he pulled his fingers away. “I think you’re in need of a good fuck.”

“Is that right?” I stood my ground and stared at him with a small smile.

I’m not going to lie. I was horny as hell and Mark was hot. And he was a better option for me than Brad. Though I wasn’t sure that there was a man whose cock could do what Brad’s did to me.

“Yes.” He grinned back at me and gasped as I reached down and squeezed him through his pants. He was hard and reasonably sized. Though he didn’t feel as hard and big as Brad.

“Are you staying at Natasha’s tonight?” I whispered in his ear, and he nodded eagerly. “Then meet me in the bathroom later.” I grinned at him and then walked away.

I knew I was playing with fire. I knew that there was a chance that I’d end up fucking Brad, but part of me didn’t care. I was playing a reckless game of Russian roulette. I was going to fuck someone tonight. Be it Brad or Mark. I knew that I should have told Mark to meet me somewhere else, but I was feeling reckless. Dominic’s call had made me angry, and I knew that I was doing this to hurt him as well. I’d really thought that Dominic and I could have had a future, but he’d been even more screwed up than me. Part of me felt like I had something to prove.

I stared at Natasha across the room, who was smiling at someone, and my heart broke. I couldn’t do this to her. I couldn’t act on my feelings for Brad. I couldn’t break her heart. She deserved better than that. I looked around the room so I could tell Mark to meet me in my room instead.

“Looking for someone?” David appeared at my side and gave me a smile.

“Have you seen Mark?” I asked him slightly urgently.

“Not recently. Why?” He frowned and looked at my face. “Are you all right, my dear?”

“I’m fine.” I nodded. “It’s just been a long day.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He put his arm around my shoulder and rubbed my back. “It’ll get better, I promise.” He smiled down at me.

I smiled back, feeling instantly comforted.

“So, Saskia, I’m going to ask you something.” His expression changed slightly. “I hope you don’t find it intrusive, but I have to ask.”

“Go ahead.” I nodded up at him.

“Have you ever been intimate with Brad?” His voice was soft, and I could feel his eyes on me. “I hope you don’t think I’m prying, but…”

“Why do you think that?” I frowned at him.

“I see the way he looks at you.” He shrugged. “And I know he and Natasha have been having problems.”

“I didn’t know they were having problems.” I bit my lower lip. “It’s not because of me.”

“Sexual attraction can be a funny thing.” He sighed. “I love my daughter and I want the best for her, but I want her to be with a man that loves her.”

“Yes, I understand.” I nodded and swallowed hard. “Brad and I haven’t done anything since they have been married.” I said, being half honest.

“I don’t know why you wanted Mark, but I wouldn’t look to…” He cut himself off and shook his head. “Forgive me. This isn’t any of my business.”

“It’s fine.” I nodded.

“I know this may sound crass, but a woman of your beauty doesn’t have to settle for these losers.”

“It’s not crass.” I shrugged. “I’m not going to lie. I like getting laid.” I gave him a look. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” He offered me his drink. “There aren’t enough honest people like you in the world anymore.”

“Tell me about it.” I laughed.

“Look, my brother Mark isn’t the best guy in the world, but if you’re just looking for a good time, I think he can give you what you want.”

“Thanks.” I laughed, feeling very awkward to be having this conversation with Natasha’s dad.

“I’ll tell you what.” He grinned. “I’ll go and find Mark and tell him you want to talk to him, yeah?”

“Yeah. That would be good.” I smiled at him. “Thanks, David.”

“No worries.” He rubbed my back. “And don’t worry. This will stay between us.”

“Thanks.” I kissed his cheek and then watched as he walked away from me.

* * *

We all left the exhibit before I had a chance to tell Mark of the change of plan. By the time we got back to Natasha’s house, I didn’t know what to do. I felt Brad’s eyes on me all night, and all I could think about was the night we had spent together. I closed my eyes on the car ride back and decided that I would let the night play out however it was supposed to.

I know you’re thinking what a bitch I am. How can I even think about being with Brad? My best friend’s husband. When I look back, I can’t say that I’m proud of myself. I can’t say that I think I’m a good person. I can’t say that I haven’t wondered what would have been different in my life if I’d told Mark to meet me in my bedroom. But life never seems to go as planned. I know what you’re thinking. But you’re wrong. I swear that you’re wrong.

The night that changed everything

I waited until two a.m. to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. I was wearing a long T-shirt and nothing else. I walked to the bathroom quietly, not wanting to wake anyone up. I figured I would wait for fifteen minutes and then go back to bed if no one else showed up. Part of me hoped that no one would show up.

I opened the door, walked in, and kept the light off. I sat on the bathtub, wondering what I was doing. I closed my eyes and tried to get myself to leave. Did I really want to go down this road? Part of me didn’t, but the other part of me wanted my happily ever after. I wanted true love. I admit it. I was tired. I wanted someone who wanted me. Even if I had to pay the ultimate price.

After about ten minutes, I stood up and was about to leave the room when someone walked in quickly and I heard the door lock behind me.

“Where were you going?” a deep voice whispered in my ear.

My brain clicked over as I tried to place the voice. I couldn’t tell if it was Brad or Mark.

“I didn’t know if you were going to come,” I whispered, and I felt his hands pull me toward him. “I don’t know—” I started again, and I felt his fingers against my lips.

“Shh,” he whispered as his fingers pulled up the back of my T-shirt and caressed my ass.

I bit my lower lip as my hands reached up to touch his face. Part of me thought it was Brad, but the other part of me thought it was Mark. Then his fingers slipped between my legs and I stopped thinking about it.

He pushed me forward until my legs hit the bathtub. I leaned forward and pushed my ass back. He groaned in response, and I felt him lean over. I cried out as I felt his lips running up and down along my slit.

“Oh!” I cried out as his tongue entered me.

I gripped the bathtub and tried not to shudder too much as I felt myself coming on his face. I was so horny that I couldn’t stop myself. After about five minutes, he stood back up, grabbed my hips, and pushed my back. I felt the tip of his cock rubbing against me, and I pushed back against him. He didn’t disappoint me, and I felt him entering me quickly. He thrust into me with such force that I fell forward slightly. His grip on my hips tightened, and he pulled me back up without stopping his movements. His hands left my hips, and I felt him reach forward to rub my clit as he entered me. I felt my legs trembling as a second climax approached.

“Oh, I’m going to come again!” I moaned, wanting whoever I was with to speak again.

He didn’t speak. Instead, he increased the force of his thrusts. My body felt like it was on fire and I thought I was about to burst.

It was then that we heard the door opening.

“Shit!” he exclaimed. “That fucking door.” He groaned as he kept moving.

The light came on then and he pulled out of me. We both turned around, and there stood Natasha, standing with a pale, white face.

“Oh!” Her eyes looked at me in shock.

I felt the blood drain out of my face and then looked to my right to see who I’d been fucking. My eyes widened in distress as he gave me a small, serious smile. I literally felt like my heart was going to stop beating in that second.

“Oh!” Natasha spoke again, and her hand flew to her mouth as she stepped back.

“I…” I started and then stopped. I had no idea what to say.

I didn’t know how I would get myself out of this one. I stared at him again, and I couldn’t stop my stomach from flipping over as I recalled what we’d just been doing. I knew then that everything in my life was about to change. I’d gone and screwed up to the point of no return this time.

Chapter 24

So, I broke up a marriage. It doesn’t sound nice to say that out loud, but I figured I could tell you because we’re friends. Kind of. Okay, maybe we’re not friends. But I lost my best friend. It still stings. I still feel bad. When I’m in bed at night lying next to my husband, I sometimes wonder if it was worth it. Was love worth it? Because we do have love. In our own messed up way. He loves me. I think it was love at first site. At least that’s what he says. He tries to convince me, though, I still don’t know. This wasn’t how I expected my fairy tale to go. I guess I should go back to that night. The night in the bathroom. The night that led to the beginning and the end.

“What the fuck is going on here?” Natasha’s voice was harsh and her eyes were cold as she stared at me.

“It’s not what you think.” My voice was low as I stared at her, feeling ashamed.

“Really?” Her eyes narrowed as she stared at me. “I knew you were a slut, but I never thought you’d do this to me.”

“I didn’t know, I…” I paused. What could I say? I didn’t know I was fucking your dad? I thought I was fucking your husband or maybe your uncle.

“Get out.” She moved forward and pushed me into the bathroom.

“What?” My eyes popped open.

“I said get out,” she screamed.

“Natasha,” David spoke up and she turned toward him.

“How could you, Dad?” Her voice rose. “How could you do this to Mom?”

“Natasha, this isn’t something that…”

“Shut up,” she screamed and then looked at both of us in disgust. “I want you both to leave. I don’t care where you go. I don’t care what you do, but I want you both out.” She shook her head and stared at me. “I always knew you had problems, Saskia, but I never thought you’d go this low.”

“Natasha, your mom is going to wonder what happened if I leave.” David’s voice was low.

“Do you want me to tell her you left because I caught you fucking my best friend in the bathroom?”

“Calm down, Natasha, you know your mom and I haven’t been happy in a long time.”

“How convenient.” She stepped back. “Leave now or I’ll scream and wake everyone up.”

“Natasha, please.” I stepped toward her and grabbed her arm. She gave me such a look of hate that I flinched. My insides felt like they were on fire. And then Brad walked out of the bedroom in a pair of navy blue boxer shorts and no shirt and everything went quiet.

“What’s going on?” He looked directly at me and then at David and Natasha. “Saskia?”

I stared into his eyes then and I could see the confusion. I waited to see the disgust. I needed to see the disgust. I needed to see that he hated me. I needed him to think I wasn’t good enough. I stared and waited, but all I could see was a question.

“I caught Saskia and Dad in the bathroom.” Natasha walked over to Brad and I could see tears running down her face. “I can’t believe this.” She started sobbing and Brad wrapped his arms around her.

“I’m sorry, Natasha. It’s not what…” I started and stopped. What was the point? What could I say that would make any of it better? I looked at David and he was adjusting himself. I shuddered at the thought of him inside of me. I felt ashamed of myself, as well, because a part of me wanted to go back into the bathroom and continue. I knew then that I had to leave. I was so confused, so sex-crazed. That moment made me realize that I couldn’t continue living my life that way anymore. I couldn’t continue allowing my body to dictate my life. What was sex at the end of the day? What was my life if all I cared about was sex?

“Leave,” Natasha sobbed. “Just leave.”

Brad looked at me and nodded and I ran to my room and grabbed my clothes. I took a couple of deep breaths and pulled them on.

“Wanna talk?” His voice was soft as he walked into the room and I stared at him in shock.

“You shouldn’t be here.” I shook my head as I turned around to face Brad.

“Natasha asked me to make sure you left promptly.” He shrugged. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? I’m the slut, right?” My voice rose, and I looked away from him.

“I’ve been meaning to fix the bathroom door for ages. Every time David comes over, he tells me don’t forget to fix the door.” He sighed and walked toward me. “Did you think it was me?” His eyes bore into mine and I looked down. “Saskia, answer me.”

“I’m not talking about this.” I looked up at him angrily. “I’m not going to…”

“He’s a pig.” Brad’s eyes narrowed and he grabbed my face. “He’s cheated on her mom so many times.”

“I enjoyed it.” I stared at him, my heart breaking as his eyes turned bleak.

“You never did want to make this easy, did you?”

“Make what easy?” I shook my head. “It would never be easy, Brad.”

“I love you, you know that, right?”

“You don’t love me.” I pulled away from him.

“I love you. Even though I know you’ve just been with him, I forgive you.”

“I don’t need your forgiveness.”

“I forgive you, Saskia. It doesn’t have to be like this.”

“It has to be.”

“Saskia.” He grabbed my hands. “Please.”

“Brad.” I could feel myself getting angry. “No, no, no. I can’t do that to Natasha.”

“It’s always been you.”

“No.” I felt a tear fall. “No.”

“Do you remember?” he whispered.

“I remember.” I nodded and looked at him.

The Day Brad Made Me A Promise

“How many times are we going to come to this park?” I sighed as we sat on the park bench.

“Until you tell me you want to date me.” He shrugged.

“You’re dating my best friend.” I rolled my eyes at him.

“We’re not dating. We’ve been on two dates. Shit, we haven’t even slept together, Saskia.”

“You need to stop asking me out, Brad.”

“Then you need to stop coming to the park with me.”

“I know.” I closed my eyes. “Why are we doing this?”

“I don’t know. Why won’t you go out with me?”

“She’s my best friend. I could never do that to her. There’s a ho code, just like there’s a bro code.”

“You said ho code.” He laughed.

“You know what I mean.”

“Want to throw the Frisbee?”

“Not today.” I shook my head.

“Feed the ducks?”

“No.”

“Go to the swings.”

“No.”

“Make out.”

“No. Wait, what? Brad.” I slapped him in the arm.

“What? I had to try.”

“Let’s go walk.” I jumped up. “We can look at the puppies.”

“I’d rather look at you.” His blue eyes sparkled, and he looked at me with a boyish grin.

“Uh-huh.” My stomach flip-flopped.

“Do you know that I thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world the moment I saw you?”

“Natasha,” I said simply.

“If I had met you before Natasha, would you have dated me?”

“Not going to answer.”

“You always treat me so mean. I don’t know why I like you.” He bent down and picked up a rock and threw it.

“I don’t know either.”

“I like you because you’re cute and funny and you don’t act like I’m God’s gift to women.”

“That’s because you’re not.”

“Natasha thinks I am.”

“That’s why you’re dating her.”

“I don’t want to sleep with her because I don’t want to cheat on you.”

“Brad.” I pushed him. “We’re never going to be together, okay? You’re nineteen. Get some while you can.”

“Saskia, listen to me.” He grabbed my hands. “Look at me.” His eyes were serious then. “If you ever change your mind, ever. No matter where I am. Who I’m with. I’ll drop everything. Just to be with you.”

“Brad,” I started to say but stopped as he shook his head.

“No matter what, Saskia. I promise you I will drop everything to be with you.” He pulled me toward him and I stared up into his eyes with my heart in my throat. “I know you don’t want to hear it or believe it. I know I’ve most probably scared you, but that’s a promise I make to you with everything I am. No matter what, no matter when. I’m yours. You just have to say the word.”

“Okay.” I leaned forward then and gave him one small, gentle kiss. We stared at each other for a few more minutes and then we went to feed the dogs. I never went to the park with Brad after that day. I started sleeping with my economics professor a few days later and Natasha told me Brad finally slept with her. We never spoke about the day again, though I had always carried it in my heart.

* * *

I stared at Brad in the bedroom with tears in my eyes. “I can’t deal with this now. I have to leave. I’ve already broken Natasha’s heart once tonight.”

“What about my heart, Saskia?” His voice was soft and I pretended I didn’t hear him.

“I’m leaving.” I pushed past him.

“Do you need a ride?” He grabbed my arm.

“No.” I shook my head and ran out of the room and to the front door.

“Saskia.” David was waiting for me by the door.

“What?” I glared at him, my heart thumping as I imagined him inside of me.

“I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter. Why is everyone fucking telling me they’re sorry?” I shouted. “I knew it was you.”

“What?” His eyes narrowed.

“I didn’t know for sure, but I was pretty sure. You moved differently than Brad,” I hissed. “You felt different.”

“So you liked it?” He smiled and moved closer to me.

“I’m leaving.” I opened the door quickly and ran out into the street. I didn’t know what to think or feel. Everything in my life was crashing down on me. I didn’t know what side was up and what side was down. I couldn’t breathe. The tears streamed down my face and I couldn’t stop them. I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t want to go back to my apartment. It wasn’t mine and I didn’t want to see Aiden. I didn’t want to call Tom after everything that had happened. Dominic sickened me, and Brad was married to my best friend. The best friend who now hated me. I didn’t have anyone. I didn’t have anything.

My phone started ringing, and I threw it into the road then I picked it back up, turned it off and threw it in my pocket. There was no one who I wanted to talk to. It’s funny how life goes, isn’t it? Who would have thought I’d go from flying high to living in the trenches? I suppose that’s karma, isn’t it? I suppose you’re not shocked. Some of you might even be thinking, that’s what you get, bitch. Keep your legs shut. It’s not something I haven’t thought before. I guess you’re wondering where I went, right? Did I call up one of my many men? Did I go looking for another one-night stand? I’m not going to lie. I thought about going to a bar. I thought about finding a hot Wall Street guy and letting him take me home. I even walked by a few bars in the village, but then I decided to just go home. Yes, it was technically Aiden’s apartment, but I knew he wasn’t about to come over. So I just went home. I’ve got to tell you that sleeping in my own bed felt like heaven. Absolute heaven. I cried for about two days straight. I tried calling Natasha about ten times, but she never answered.

I won’t bore you with the details of the next few weeks. They consisted of me lying in bed, watching TV, and eating junk food. I gained at least ten pounds. And then I started feeling sick. Every morning. And then the sick feeling started turning to throwing up. And then I realized that my weight gain might not be due to junk food. So I went to the bodega on the corner and I got a pregnancy test and pissed on it.

You already know the answer to what the test result said. How could you not? Don’t pretend like you’re shocked or appalled. Where else was my lifestyle going to lead me? However, I’m not you. I was blown away by the results of the test.

After I waited for a few minutes, I stared at the pregnancy test in shock. I sat down on the edge of the bathtub and closed my eyes. I had no idea what I was going to do. I was pregnant, and I had no idea who the father was.

Then I heard a knock on the front door. I got up slowly and walked through the apartment in a daze before opening the door. I didn’t even blink when I saw him standing there. It was as if I was immune to everything. Nothing was out of the ordinary anymore.

“Hi,” he said softly.

“Hi,” I whispered back, staring at him with wide eyes.

“What’s wrong?” He frowned, and I wanted to laugh. How could he ask me what’s wrong so casually? After everything that had happened?

“I’m pregnant.” I stared into his eyes, bleakly. I didn’t care if he knew.

“Then it’s a good thing that I came over.” He stepped into the apartment and shut the door.

“I don’t know if it’s yours.” I gave him a wry smile and took a step back. He started laughing, and I looked at him oddly. He wasn’t reacting the way I expected him to.

“It doesn’t matter. I want to be with you, Saskia. I know that as sure as I know my own name.” He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me to him. I could feel his hardness pressing against my stomach and I swallowed hard. I didn’t know if I wanted to be with him, but I wasn’t sure I had much of a choice. Now that I was pregnant, everything felt different.

“Then come inside.” I grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom.

There’s one thing you should know. He’s not the one I ended up with. To this day, my husband doesn’t know about that night. I’m not sure I can ever tell him. It’s something I hold deep inside of me. It’s something that I think of when I feel cold and lonely. It’s something I think about when I look at my son. Because yes, my husband is not my son’s father. There’s one secret you still don’t know.

Chapter 25

“Brad, you shouldn’t be here.” I bit my lower lip as I let him into the apartment.

“I had to see you.” He ran his hands through my hair.

“You should go.” I shook my head, but I didn’t move.

“I’ll go if you want me to,” he paused, “but I need you to give me one more night first.”

“You know I can’t do that.” I shook my head and stared at him. “Please, Brad.”

“One more night and if you feel the same, I’ll move on.” He grabbed my hands and pulled me back toward him.

“You said that before.” I looked into his eyes and he frowned.

“That doesn’t count.” He leaned forward and kissed me.

“Why doesn’t it count?”

“You know why.” His teeth nibbled my lower lip softly. “Just give me one more night.”

“Brad.” I groaned and closed my eyes.

There’s something I didn’t tell you about earlier. I didn’t want you to judge me. I know, I know. It’s a bit late for that. I didn’t tell you because I’m ashamed of myself. Because I didn’t stick to my own rules. I had promised myself after I slept with Brad at the bachelor party that I wouldn’t sleep with him again. I’d told myself I would never sleep with him once Natasha married him. But there was one night; there was one night that something crazy happened.

The Night I will Never Forget

First thing you should know is that it wasn’t my idea. I didn’t even know what was going to happen until I arrived at the hotel room. And then, well, how was I supposed to say no?

Tom: Saskia, Meet me at the W hotel. Go up to the penthouse. I have a surprise for you!

I can still remember the text message like it was yesterday. I went, of course. Sex with Tom was a welcome pleasure. We were both as open and as flexible as we could be for each other. That’s what made our situation work so well. Neither one of us felt like we were being used by the other. I caught a cab to the W eagerly. I remember that I’d been having a bad day. Some bills had come due and I didn’t have the money. This was before Aiden had become my sugar daddy. Because you and I both know that’s a more apt name than boyfriend was.

I walked into the suite feeling excited and slightly tired. I yawned slowly as I entered, but quickly stopped, still in shock. There were hundreds of candles lit around the room and all the lights were off. There was music playing on the speaker and I could see Tom standing on the balcony with his back to me.

“Hi,” I whispered breathlessly, walking over to him quickly. “What have you done?” I tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around. “Oh.” The blood drained from my face as I saw Brad. “You.”

“Hi, yourself.” He smiled at me gently. “Look at the view, it’s gorgeous, isn’t it?”

“It’s a million-dollar view,” I agreed softly, though my insides were raging. What was Brad doing here?

“I love New York,” he said.

“It’s a beautiful city.”

“Not as beautiful as you.”

“Brad, what are you doing here?” I finally bit out, excited and scared at the same time.

“I wanted a night with you.”

“So Tom sent a text message for you?” I sighed, angry.

“No.” Brad shook his head and looked into the room. “He sent a text for himself.”

“What?” I frowned, confused.

“He said, I sent the text for myself.” Tom walked onto the balcony, shirtless.

“What’s going on here?” I looked back and forth at the two men and my heart started beating fast. “You guys have me confused.”

“We wanted to give you a special night.” Tom smiled at me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “We wanted to make you feel special.”

“Special?” I looked at him with narrowed eyes. “How?”

“We want to give you a night you will never forget,” Brad whispered in my ear. I could feel the tip of his tongue licking me.

“What does that mean?”

“We want to please you, Saskia.” Tom kissed my neck.

“You mean a threesome?” My voice rose in shock.

“No.” Tom laughed. “We have no interest in doing stuff with each other. We just want to please you.”

“Both of you?” My jaw dropped, and I stared at them in shock. “No way—you’ve got to be joking.”

“Think of it as an adventure.” Brad’s hand crept to my ass. “A sexy, totally awesome adventure.”

“I don’t know.” I nibbled on my lower lip. My senses were running amok, and I wasn’t sure what to do. My body wanted this. This was sending my nerve endings on fire. This was something my body didn’t even know that it craved.

“Come on, Saskia.” Tom’s fingers grazed my breast. “Just imagine, both of us pleasing you, doing whatever you wanted. Our only goal is to satisfy you.”

I’m going to stop there for a minute. What would you have done? It’s easy to say you would just walk away. It’s so easy to say. But think about it. You’re slightly tired. You’re horny. Two gorgeous men want to devour your body. It wasn’t an easy decision for me to make, either. Trust me. I did feel guilty. I did think of Natasha. I wanted to say no so badly. I wanted to slap them for thinking I’d even be interested. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run away. I wanted to do so many things, but I didn’t. There was something about the situation. Both men touching me. Both men showing me how much they wanted me. Both men making me feel so alive in every fiber of my being. My body took over then. It completely took over my brain. Pleasure and the expectation of even more pleasure to come made up my mind. I didn’t even know how it was going to work. I didn’t even ask.

Brad took one of my hands and Tom took the other and they led me to the big king-sized bed. Brad pushed me down and got down next to me. I felt his lips on mine and I kissed him back eagerly. He was like water to my dehydrated body. It wasn’t until he kissed me that I remembered all those forgotten kisses. I grabbed his hair and ran my fingers through it roughly, pulling at the ends. I wanted to hurt him for doing this to me. I wanted him to feel pain for making me want him. He kissed me back passionately, his tongue slipping into my mouth with ease. My fingers ran to his back, and I ran them up and down, needing to taste him, wanting to erase the guilt that was already starting to build up inside of me.

Then I felt my pants being pulled down. I didn’t think anything of it until I felt the cool air against me as my panties were pulled down as well. Brad shifted to the side as he kissed me and I moaned, not wanting him to pull away completely. That’s when Tom’s tongue met my clit. My body arched at his touch as he started licking me while Brad continued kissing me. It was as if they were in sync with each other, as their tongues moved in and out of two different parts of my body.

I cried out when Tom entered me, his tongue diving into my wetness with ease. It felt surreal to be experiencing so much pleasure at one time. I’m not going to lie, it was divine. Absolutely divine. My body started trembling as Tom’s tongue brought me close to orgasm. Brad pulled back and pulled up my top and quickly unclasped my bra. My breasts lay there in excited anticipation and Brad did not disappoint. His mouth descended on one nipple as his fingers played with the other while Tom continued to eat me as though I were a five-course gourmet meal. I came quickly, my body shaking as Tom licked my juices clean. I wasn’t even sure what happened next, it all seems a bit of a blur. I remember Brad moving down and pulling out his hardness, rubbing it against my clit before entering me with a forceful thrust and moving fast. I cried out as he fucked me hard. This time it was Tom’s turn to fondle my breasts and he sucked on them eagerly, enjoying the look of complete and utter pleasure on my face. There is only one moment that I look back on and squirm. It’s the one moment that made me feel like an object, more than a woman to be desired. It’s that moment that has stopped me from doing anything similar.

Brad fucked me hard and fast and came in me pretty quickly. My body felt spent from his fucking and I was smiling like a Cheshire cat. But then, then Tom rolled me over onto my knees and entered me. This was a minute after Brad had come inside of me. Tom entered me smoothly and gently, increasing his pace after about a minute. He reached around and rubbed my clit as he fucked me. It felt crazy, wonderful, mind-blowing. His cock was slightly thicker than Brad’s and he moved differently. But I remember thinking to myself, they are taking turns with me. One guy just fucked me and the other one didn’t even wait. And I remember staring at Brad’s face as he watched Tom fucking me. He looked hurt, and I felt like a tramp because I was loving it. My orgasm was more intense and I screamed loudly, gripping the sheets as I angled my ass back into him, so I could feel him deeper.

We all left pretty quickly after Tom came. It wasn’t romantic and sweet. We didn’t shower together. We didn’t share a bed together and cuddle. We didn’t talk about becoming one of those couples where they both loved me. We basically had sex and left. And when I left, I cried. I felt used. I felt like a tramp. And I felt like I’d let myself and Natasha down.

I’ve never talked about that night and neither has Brad nor Tom. It’s like we all wanted to forget it.

* * *

But now, here he was, in front of me and he wanted one more night. I knew that he wanted one more night so that I could erase the memory of the ménage. He wanted me to remember him as more loving, more caring. He wanted to make me feel more special than I did.

“Brad, you shouldn’t be here.”

“I know you won’t marry me.” He sighed. “I know I’m not the father of your baby. I know you’re never going to give me a chance. So just give me one more night.”

“It wouldn’t be right.” I shook my head.

“My loving you all these years hasn’t been right.” He looked me in the eyes. “But I’ve had to live with it.”

“Brad, please.” I looked away from him.

“I always hoped you would be mine. All these years I hoped. Tom always told me, no Brad, give it up, she’ll never be mine and she’ll never be yours and I never wanted to believe him. I always thought there would be a day where we would get to be together. I still want that, but I don’t think you do.”

“Brad, it’s not about what I want.” I reached out and rubbed his shoulder. “It would never work out for us. It’s too complicated. We’d break Natasha’s heart.”

“I should have dumped her in the beginning.” He sighed. “Maybe then I would have had a real shot.”

“Brad, the past is the past.” I reached up and touched his face. That was a mistake. I shouldn’t have touched his face.

“The only mistake is me not fighting for you.”

“Brad.” I sighed. “Please.”

“I’m not going to give up. Not until I truly know I have no chance left.”

“Brad, you should go home.”

“Being with you feels like home.”

“You’re determined to make this hard, aren’t you? Don’t give Natasha another reason to hate me.”

“Why do you think of her before me?”

“She’s my best friend. She has always been there for me.”

“She’s telling her mom, you know.”

“What!” I exclaimed in shock.

“Yeah, I think David had been after a divorce for a while, if I’m being honest. He won’t be able to survive by himself, though. He needs her.” He shrugged. “But better men than him have fucked up.”

“Who, you?”

“I’d fuck up again if I had to.” He smiled and pulled me in close. “Give me a reason to fuck up again, Saskia.”

“Brad.” I sighed as I leaned into him. “Why do you always make this so hard?”

“Because I love you.”

“Why do you love me?”

“Because you’re beautiful.”

“That’s not a good reason.”

“It’s a reason, though.”

“We can’t do this,” I whispered as he kissed me. We kissed passionately, each of us losing ourselves in the other. I felt his hands on my breasts and I unzipped his pants. We consumed each other as if this were to be our last meal and we wanted to taste every last drop.

“Hold on.” He pulled away slightly. “I’m going to the restroom. I’ll be right back.” He walked away from me and I sighed. How was I ever going to stop this cycle?

My phone rang as soon as Brad walked into the bathroom. I saw the number, and I wasn’t going to pick up, but something inside of me told me this was my out.

“Hey, you.” His voice was deep and full of sorrow.

“Hey,” I replied, not knowing what to say.

“Marry me,” he said softly.

“What?” I gasped, not sure I heard correctly.

“Marry me. Marry me. Let’s move on from everything that’s happened. I want you to marry me.”

“Okay,” I whispered, knowing in my heart that we deserved each other. “Okay.” I hung up then as Brad had returned from the bathroom and hid my phone in my drawer. “Make love to me, Brad.” I reached up and pulled him down to me. “Make love to me.” I reached down to his boxers and squeezed his cock. He was right, I needed to feel him inside of me one last time. I needed to fuck the man I loved before I married the man I didn’t.

Here’s the thing: I wasn’t pregnant before that night. I looked at the test the next day and I’d read it wrong. I got pregnant that night. I had my love child. I know as sure as the sun shines that Brad is the father of my child. Though that’s one secret I’ll keep with me for the rest of my life.

My husband has no idea. Absolutely no idea. And I plan on keeping it that way. The only problem would be if Brad found out, but that’s a story for another time.

Chapter 26

Have you ever had that moment? The moment where you look back at your life and think, “Oh shit, what have I been doing with my life?” I’m X years old and I feel like I’ve wasted the last ten years of my life. That’s how I felt the night that Brad came over. When he undressed me and threw me down on the bed, all I could think about was how right it felt to be with him. I nearly changed my mind and gave in to him. I nearly changed my fate. I was so close to going with my small piece of a heart. I was so close to saying, “Fuck it, all. Let’s do this.” I was so close, yet I kept my mouth shut.

Most people think that love is the be-all and end-all of life. When I say most people, I’m thinking of women. Men and women have two different ideas in their head. I could lie to you right now and tell you I don’t care about love. You might even believe me, but we’ve been through too much for me to lie right now. I do believe in love. I do want love. I am in love. My husband thinks it’s with him. Ultimately, I know the truth. I love things about him, but he’s not the one who has my heart. Brad has my heart.

I guess you want to know why I ended up with someone else when I love Brad? My first question to you would be, has there ever been anyone in your life you’ve really clicked with? Someone you thought could be it? Someone you’ve loved so hard that even just reading this, your mind has gone to them? Is there anyone who makes you feel just a tinge of regret for how it all ended or went down? Brad’s that person to me. He’s my pea pod and I’m the pea. Only I’m with another pea now. It’s almost the same, but it’s still different enough. Now, I should tell you my husband’s name. I’m sure you’re dying to know. Well, you wouldn’t be the only one to be shocked to know that Dominic is now my husband. Though I suppose you want to know how we got to this place.

It’s almost ironic that Dominic and I got back together. I still detested him, but I hated myself more than I hated him. I took his call because I didn’t want to let myself think of Brad. I didn’t want to let myself think that I had a chance with him, even though he wanted to be with me or so he said. The romantic in me wanted to be with Brad. I felt like we were made for each other, but our love story was like Romeo and Juliet. We could never actually be together. It didn’t matter that we were soul mates. I hated him with every fiber of my being. Brad made me feel like I was safe. He made me feel like I was understood. He made me feel like I didn’t have to have my guard up. And that was why I couldn’t be with him. I couldn’t afford to let my guard down. I couldn’t afford to trust and love him with all of myself. That’s not how life worked. There was no one you could trust more than yourself. I knew that. I grew up with that. It was a part of my brain.

Before I tell you about Dominic, I need for you to understand. I need you to get me. I need you to see that underneath it all, I’m not evil or cold. I’m just confused and scared. I need to tell you why.

Why I don’t believe in love

My grandmother was the closest person to me in the first six years of my life. She was sweet and cuddly and all those things that grandmas should be. Until I turned seven. When I turned seven, everything changed. I can remember the day clearly. I had come home from school all excited. This little boy, Jimmy, had given me a cute little note and said he liked me. Of course, I’d been beside myself. All the girls thought Jimmy was just the cutest. And when I say cutest I mean he had an adorable little face and sparkling eyes. I can’t even remember what color they were now. I remember I ran into the house and pulled that note out of my bag and I gave it to my grandma with such gusto and relish. I was caught up in myself as she read it. I was so excited and couldn’t wait to have her share in that with me.

“What’s this, Saskia?” Her lips were thin and she gave me a look that showed me she wasn’t impressed.

“It’s a note, Grandma.” I grinned up at her, still happy as can be. “Jimmy gave it to me.”

“And who, pray tell, is Jimmy?”

“My friend.” I grinned at her, seeing nothing wrong in having a friend who was a boy.

“Give him the note back and tell him you can’t be friends.”

“What?” I hadn’t understood why she was saying that, but I had sensed that she was suddenly angry.

“Boys aren’t friends with girls. They only want one thing.”

“What’s that, Grandma?”

“They only want to take from you.” She sighed. “Everything that they can. And then they leave you. Ain’t no point being friends with boys. They will always hurt you.”

“He hasn’t hurt me though, Grandma.”

“He will.” She grabbed my hands. “Don’t ever let no boy get so close to you that he can hurt you. People will talk to you about love, but it ain’t real, baby girl. Men don’t love no one but themselves.”

“Okay.” I’d walked to my room feeling confused and upset, but I never doubted what she said. Grandma was never wrong. That was the first of many conversations I’d had with my grandma about men, and her words were never far from my brain. I lived my life with her rules and I tried to never let any guy get so close that he could hurt me.

* * *

I’m not ashamed to say that Dominic showed up fifteen minutes after Brad left that morning. It was weird seeing him, knowing that the last time I’d seen him he had been with Jessie. It was even weirder knowing that I’d already gotten over it. I’d been more shocked than hurt. Frankly, him being with Jessie was more of a pride thing. Which is why I think I agreed to what he asked me next.

So, when Dominic asked me to marry him, he didn’t actually mean he wanted to marry me. Well, he did and he didn’t. You see, at the time Jessie was threatening to go to the press about the shenanigans going on between her, Dominic, and Aiden. Turns out she was as big a bitch as I thought. When I heard that, I wanted to call Aiden’s wife and laugh in her face, but I thought that would be a bit hypocritical. I wasn’t exactly in the position to be throwing stones. Dominic wanted me to be his cover. When he explained it to me, I wasn’t sure what to think. I mean, it’s not the most romantic thing in the world, but I’m a practical girl, I don’t need romantic.

Let’s be honest, what I need is money. I don’t have a job, I’m not well educated, and I don’t want to live in the streets or even a studio apartment in Jersey City. I want a nice, big, luxurious apartment in Manhattan and I want to be taken care of.

When Dominic showed up, I was happy to see him. There’s something about a man with a handsome face that makes you forget a multitude of sins. Especially when you realize you’re all alone, with no income coming in and no one else to fall back on.

“So, I have something exciting to tell you.” Dominic was grinning from ear to ear. It was as if he didn’t know how grossed out I’d been by him. In all actuality, I couldn’t even remember if I had told him. All I could think about was Brad and what had happened after I had left Dominic.

“What’s that?”

“You know how you used to hook up with my dad?”

“That’s exciting?” I frowned at him. Here it comes, I thought. He’s going to ask me for a threesome.

“No, of course not.” He gave me a weird look. “However, he said he wants to give us a special gift.”

“For what?”

“He feels bad that he fucked his son’s future wife.” Dominic shrugged. “He’s handing over his company to me.”

“What?” My voice rose. “Are you kidding?” I looked at him in shock, not really understanding why Aiden would do all that.

“Not kidding.” He grabbed ahold of me. “I’m going to be CEO, baby.”

“Okay, that’s great.” I frowned. “But why?”

“Do you really care why?” He frowned then. “You should be happy.”

“I should be happy?”

“You fucked my dad.” His eyes glinted.

“You had a threesome with your dad,” I shot back at him straight-faced.

“We never touched.” His eyes widened in shock and I smiled sweetly.

“You’re a sick fucker.”

“That’s to be decided.” He grabbed my hands. “Though it takes one to know one.”

I stared into his eyes and for one brief moment, all I could think about was Brad. The Brad I could never be with. I only allowed myself to think about him for a moment, though. That part of my life was over. I needed to move on and who better than with Dominic? He was just as messed up as me. We could play dirty with each other. And if he was about to become CEO, that would make it all better.

So, as you can see, I didn’t get my happily ever after. I got a happy with money and a beautiful baby. I got a husband that uses the word love but doesn’t know what it means. I got to prove my grandma right. I got everything someone like me could ask for. But oh, my story doesn’t end here. You see, what happened next in my life shook everything around me and caused it to collapse. Everything I thought I knew. Everything you think you know. Well, it’s all wrong. It’s all twisted. You see, my story goes back a lot further and a lot deeper than you knew. You see, everything in my life was about to change once again. Only this time, this time, you’re going to see it from the other side.

The first time I saw her

I know you think you know our story. The story you know starts with the fact that I’d been seeing Natasha casually for a few weeks and then met Saskia. That’s not the beginning of our story. The beginning of our story starts the summer after our freshman year of college. I was a lifeguard at one of the local YMCAs. The moment I saw Saskia in her tiny white bikini, I knew I had to have her. She looked so gorgeous with her long dark hair. She reminded me of some Cindy Crawford look-alike. She didn’t even look at me. I’m pretty sure she never noticed me. She was too busy talking to a friend. That friend was Natasha. Natasha definitely noticed me when I stole Saskia’s purse, but she didn’t say anything. I never understood why. To this day, I still don’t get it. Why didn’t she scream or shout thief? But she didn’t. So I was able to steal Saskia’s purse and get her name and address from her driver’s license.

It was easy from there. Once I had her information, I was able to watch her. My plan had been to follow her and accidentally bump into her. But then I’d reconnected with Natasha again and she recognized me right away. It’s funny how life goes, some people might call me a stalker. Some people might say we were doomed from the beginning, but I don’t agree. You see, the first time Saskia and I met and she actually looked at me, her eyes lit up. They lit up as if she knew in that moment, what I knew.

Things shouldn’t have ended up like this. Saskia’s married now to a horrible man and it’s all my fault. Everything is all wrong. I have to get her. I need her to be mine, but I’m scared. I don’t know what Natasha will do. We both have our secrets. There are things Saskia doesn’t know. Things that could keep us apart forever. I just need to get her to understand how much I need her.

My story will be focused on one thing. My quest to get back Saskia. The girl you think you know. Get ready for a wild ride because trust me, you know absolutely nothing.

Chapter 27

There’s something you don’t know about Saskia. Her parents died when she was younger. In fact, her father killed her mother and then himself. She doesn’t really tell people that about herself. She doesn’t want people to feel sorry for her. She doesn’t want to get “labeled.” She grew up with her grandmother, a hard witch of a woman that hated men because her husband left her for some hippie chick and moved to California. Saskia never talks badly about her grandmother, but her grandmother scarred her. Made her do things with men for money that no teenage girl should ever have to do. I can’t say I was sad when her grandmother died. No, I wasn’t sad at all.

It’s not a mystery as to why Saskia’s fucked up. It’s more a mystery as to why she’s still so sane. Because out of everyone I know, she’s the kindest most genuine person in the world.

You’re wondering how did we get to this crazy place, aren’t you? We got here because Natasha is a manipulator. That’s not new. It’s part of her psychosis. That’s the other thing you don’t know. Natasha and Saskia met in therapy not in college as she would have most people believe. Natasha knows both of our secrets. She controls us. She has no heart, so she doesn’t care. I suppose you want to know what her problem is? That’s one thing none of us really knows. Her dad is a sex addict. Her mom looks the other way and she gets whatever she wants, whenever she wants. She plays everyone and most people think she’s an angel. Aside from me and Tom. Though, part of me thinks that Tom is still under her spell.

Natasha is a highly functional sociopath. That’s my diagnosis, not a professional’s, by the way. I have to be careful about what I say. She’s everywhere. Reads everything. She’d sue me if she could. That’s not going to stop me from telling you the truth and not just part of the truth. Natasha wants to control me, but she doesn’t know that I don’t care what comes out anymore.

Saskia is so different from Natasha. Yes, she likes to shock and awe people. That’s how she’s always gone through life. Part of her wants you to hate her. The other part hopes you see through the mask she wears. The mask that hides that deep down she’s a good person. I suppose she told you about the lap dance at the bachelor party? I suppose she told you that she was testing me to ensure I was a good guy. Did she tell you that she and I were supposed to be married? Did she tell you that I proposed to her first? Did she tell you that that night I begged her to run away with me? I’ve always loved her, yet she never thought she was good enough. I blame her grandmother and I blame Natasha. I took care of one of them and I’m ready to take care of the next one.

Tom always asks me why I don’t just tell her that Natasha’s a bitch and beg her to come away with me. He thinks that I’m deluding myself. He thinks I don’t love her as much as I say I do. He’s wrong there. I love her more than I say. I love her more than anything. Only I have two secrets. Two very big secrets and Natasha knows both of them. And so I have to bide my time. I know that if Saskia found out either of them, I’d never stand a chance with her and I couldn’t risk that.

* * *

I have a plan. A plan that I hope will work. A plan that I’ve already set into motion. It’s a plan three years in the making and now it’s all coming to fruition. I just needed to make sure that everyone and everything followed the script I had in my head.

“Hey,” I picked up my phone and spoke quietly.

“Hey you.” Her voice was soft and low.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m here in my bed, hoping to see you.” She moaned, and I knew she was playing with herself.

“That can be arranged.” I lowered my voice again.

“You know that bitch set me up to sleep with Tom.”

“You know you enjoyed it.” My voice wasn’t as low as before. I didn’t like anyone calling Saskia a bitch.

“I always enjoyed it.” She laughed. “I think we put on a good show.”

“You have to be careful, Jessie. No one can tie us all together.”

“No one’s going to tie us all together.” She sighed and then paused. “So are you coming over tonight?”

“I can.” I tried not to sound reluctant. I couldn’t let her know that I wasn’t really into her. If she did, I knew she would not be as helpful.

“You can come over to my place.” She was breathing hard.

“You sure you need me?”

“My fingers aren’t as good as your cock.”

“You’re a dirty girl, Jessie.” I laughed and looked at my watch. “I can be over in a few hours.”

“Fine.” She sighed. “Don’t forget the condoms. I can’t afford to get pregnant. I don’t need a baby. Not like some people.”

“Jessie.” My voice was angry as I knew she was talking about Saskia and my baby.

“I’m just saying. You know she only got pregnant for the child support. Greedy bitch.”

“Who knows how or why she got pregnant.”

“We know how she got pregnant.” Her voice was full of distaste. “She laid on her back, spread her legs and let a whole bunch of men…”

“That’s enough.” I cut her off. I could feel the jealousy swelling in me as I thought of Saskia with other men. As long as I blocked it out it was okay. I couldn’t allow myself to think about it. Not now. None of that mattered until we were together. I certainly didn’t want her to know and think about me with other women. I didn’t want her to hold that against me.

“Who were you on the phone with?” Natasha walked into the bedroom with narrowed eyes. I wanted to ask her if all of this was worth it? What was she getting from trapping me with her when she knew I loved another, but I knew it wasn’t really about me. It was about her and having what she wanted. It was about the power of controlling me and Saskia. Natasha didn’t love me in the conventional way a woman loves a man. I mean how could she? Knowing my feelings toward her.

“Don’t answer me.” She shrugged and walked over to me. “I don’t really care.”

“Your father wants to take us to dinner tomorrow night.” I looked away from her.

“He’s probably hoping I’ll invite Saskia, so he can fuck her again.” She laughed. “I wonder if Dominic would be cool with that.”

“You’re not funny.”

“I don’t pretend to be.” She looked at me with narrowed eyes. “I was thinking about inviting them to dinner. Show her I forgive her. Let our two families become one.”

“Don’t you dare.” I froze as I glared at her.

“What are you going to do?” She paused. “Kill me.”

“You bitch.”

“My dad knows everything. If anything happens to me, you will be the first person the police investigate.”

“I don’t believe you told your dad anything.” I shook my head. “He’d know you’re crazy then.”

“My dad slept with my best friend because I asked him to. You think I didn’t inherit the crazy gene from him?”

“You wouldn’t tell him everything,” I whispered in disbelief.

“You want to test me to find out?” She grinned. “I’ll give Saskia a call and tell her to bring Dominic and the baby.”

“Don’t.” I grabbed her hand.

“Would it be too hard to see your whore with her husband?” She laughed. “Or would it be harder to see the disappointment in her eyes when she figured out the truth. You’re just as big a jerk as she thought you were.”

“You’re a bitch.” I shook my head and turned away from her. “I’m going out.”

“Where.” She touched my back and my body instinctively flinched. I couldn’t even hide my distaste for her anymore.

“None of your business.” I scowled, and I walked to the door. I made the mistake of looking back at her and she looked sad.

“Did you ever love me?” she whispered and a part of me felt broken inside as I replied.

“No. Never.” I shook my head and hurried out of the door and to my car.

* * *

I caught a cab to Jessie’s apartment without thinking. Traffic was bad as it always is in New York and I tried not to think about Saskia. These were the only times that I actively tried not to think about her. Jessie and I had been sleeping together for the last two years. It wasn’t anything I was proud of and I didn’t love her, but she fulfilled a need. Don’t judge me. I’m a man. I like sex. I do what I have to. I’m not saying that I’m perfect. I’m just saying that I’m me. I didn’t have to buzz once I got to her apartment. I already had a key to Jessie’s place. I walked in quickly; I was always scared that Saskia would see me with Jessie. Especially now that they had met. I didn’t want Saskia to know about our arrangement. I wasn’t sure how she’d take it.

“You’re early.” Jessie walked out of the bedroom wearing a pair of boy shorts and a tank top. I could tell she had no bra on as her nipples were poking out.

“Needed to get out.” I shrugged.

“I don’t know why you don’t just leave that bitch.” Jessie walked up to me and kissed me on the lips as she pressed herself against me.

“The time isn’t right.” I shook my head and ran my fingers to her breasts and squeezed. “I told you that already.”

“You’ve told me a lot of things.” She rolled her eyes and flung her blond hair across her shoulders. She was pretty in her own way. Not the way I liked. She wasn’t Saskia, but she knew what I liked.

“So, my attorney said that Aiden isn’t going to take the agreement.” She pouted as her fingers reached down the front of my pants.

“He’ll come around.” I comforted her and closed my eyes as her fingers came into contact with my cock and squeezed.

“He better. I need the money.”

“And he has the money.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t want to part with it. Thank God, I got him and Dominic to do threesomes.”

“Hmm.” I remained silent. That had never been a part of the plan. If I had known that Jessie was going to go rogue, I never would have used her to help me out.

“I know that you didn’t want things to get too complicated, but I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do.”

“It’s fine.” I pulled her tank top off and stared at her naked breasts. “I don’t want to tell you what to do.” I leaned forward and took her nipple in my mouth and sucked. I didn’t want her asking too many questions. She couldn’t know my ultimate plan and goal. In fact, she already knew too much. I was scared that if she found out everything it would be over. She didn’t know that I knew Tom. She didn’t know that I knew and loved Saskia. There were so many pieces of the puzzle that I needed to come together, yet I couldn’t let any of them know.

“Come.” She moaned and grabbed my hand. “Let’s go to the bedroom.”

“I can’t stay long,” I muttered as we walked to the room. I knew that she expected cuddling after sex, that’s what she liked, but I couldn’t give her that. I didn’t want intimacy from her. I just wanted sex.

“You can never stay long.” She pushed me down on the bed and pulled my pants down. I grinned at her aggressiveness. When Jessie was horny, she had no problem taking charge. I watched as she pulled off her boy shorts and panties. Her hands came to my cock and she rubbed and tugged it for a few seconds before I handed her a condom. She slipped it onto me and then got on top of me, sliding down on my hardness eagerly. We both groaned as I filled her up and she started rocking back and forth. I lay there and let her ride me. I suppose you’re disappointed in me. Women are always disappointed by the truth. In a fairy tale, I’d be celibate and saving myself for Saskia. I wouldn’t be able to get hard for anyone that wasn’t her. Like Saskia told you before, this isn’t a fairy tale and I’m no Prince Charming. The sooner you realize that the better. I’m not even close to being a top-notch guy. I’m not going to lie. I do love Saskia, but I’ve done shit. And yeah, I enjoy fucking Jessie. She’s got a tight little body and she has no inhibitions. She lets me do whatever I want and she also does whatever she wants. It’s nice to have a woman take control. I’ll tell you this though, once I have Saskia, l’ll be done with Jessie. Once I have Saskia, I won’t need anyone else. Once I have Saskia, I’ll be free to live my life as I really want.

“Don’t stop.” I grabbed Jessie’s hips as she gyrated on me. “I’m close to coming.” I grabbed her and pushed her down on the bed and onto her knees. I slapped her ass hard before entering her from behind. She screamed out as I plunged into her hard and fucked her. This was how all our lovemaking ended, she thought it was because I loved doggie style so much, it was really so I didn’t have to see her face. When I fucked her from behind, I could pretend she was Saskia. She moaned as my cock pounded her and I pulled out and pulled my condom off so I could come all over her ass. I grinned to myself before collapsing onto the bed. Jessie hated me coming on her, but I loved it so I didn’t give a shit. Let her clean my cum off of her.

“Hey,” she moaned. “I didn’t come.”

“Play with yourself.” I shrugged and sat up.

“Always the gentleman.” A dry voice spoke from the doorway and I froze.

“Dominic,” I nodded as I stared into his face. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see my favorite girl.” He grinned. “Or should I say our favorite girl.”

“I didn’t think you and Jessie were still seeing each other, now that you’re married.” I frowned.

“Old habits are hard to break.” He shrugged. “You should know that.” He walked into the room. “You still need to meet my wife and son.” He grinned as he loosened his tie and walked toward the bed.

“Yes, I suppose I do.” I jumped off of the bed. I had to avoid the meeting. I couldn’t afford for Saskia to find out.

“I think she’ll be pleased to meet my cousin,” he continued. “Seeing as I can’t really have her around my dad, fear of them fucking and all.”

“Yeah.” I nodded and looked away. The last thing I wanted Saskia finding out was that Dominic was my cousin. If she found that out, it would be all too soon before all my other secrets came pouring out and I couldn’t afford for that to happen. Not ever. I had to have Saskia. I had to move to plan two, and I had to do it now. Time was running out. I told you before that I’m willing to do anything to get Saskia. I didn’t tell you exactly how far I’ve already gone. That I’ll save for a later date when I know you a little better.

Chapter 28

To say my life is complicated is an understatement. My life is a lot more than complicated. It’s fucked up. Maybe even more fucked up than Saskia’s life. Maybe that’s why we’re so perfect for each other. We’re both as crazy as each other. Though I don’t know that that’s a good thing. I couldn’t believe that she had married Dominic. I wondered if it turned her on in a way to know that I was so jealous; even though I knew she loved me. Some part of me wondered if he knew, but I was pretty sure he wouldn’t be cool with me if he knew everything. It felt weird standing in front of him, listening to him talking about his wife, while I planned on making her my wife. Yes, I needed to sort out my life first. And that included divorcing Natasha as soon as possible. She’d be hard to get rid of, but I was willing to do whatever it took to get out of my marriage to her. I only lived for one thing and that was being with Saskia. I’d gone to great lengths to keep Saskia single. My plan had always been to marry her. And I knew the only way that could happen would be if she remained single. It killed me to know that she was married to Dominic. He’d gone and fucked everything up. I didn’t even care that Tom had fucked her. I mean I cared, of course, I cared, but I was able to ignore it. I knew she would never marry Tom. Even though, he would have died for her. It puzzled me that she never realized just how much Tom loved her. How could she be so blind?

“So what do you say to dinner, Brad?” Dominic asked me and I shook my head.

“I don’t want to meet your wife. I’m not sure I can look her in the face, knowing you’re already fucking another girl.”

“Eh, she wouldn’t care.” He shrugged. “She knew I was fucking Jessie, and she still married me.”

“She knew you were still fucking her or had fucked her?”

“Guys, I’m here. I’m not just a piece of meat.” Jessie interrupted us and we both looked at the bed. Jessie was lying on her back with her legs spread and her fingers rubbing her clit. “Anyone want to assist me here?” She moaned and I saw Dominic giving me a look.

“Go ahead.” I shrugged. “I gotta leave anyway.”

“You’re leaving?” Jessie made a face, and I rolled my eyes. As if she cared if I left.

“I already told you I couldn’t stay long.”

“You’re a pig.” She glared at me and I laughed.

“You’ll get over it.”

“I’m surprised your wife hasn’t left you as yet.”

“I wish she would.” I laughed bitterly and nodded at Dominic. “Have fun, man. I’ll see you later.”

“Later, man.” He wasn’t looking at me at all as I walked out of the door. I needed to make a call, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to talk to him. I didn’t want to acknowledge what I’d done, but I had to make sure he kept his mouth shut.

“Hello.” His voice sounded happy, as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

“Hey, Uncle Aiden, it’s me.” As you know from Saskia’s diary, his real name wasn’t Aiden. However, I’m not going to tell you his real name either. He’s way too rich and powerful for that. You’d most probably know his name if I told you. He’s known in the media as a happily married man; I guess you know why he’s so happily married.

“Brad?” He sounded surprised. “I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

“I just saw Dominic.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

“He’s married to Saskia.” My voice was accusing. “What the fuck is up with that?”

“She ended it with me.”

“She caught you and Dominic fucking Jessie.”

“Don’t mention Jessie to me, do you know that slut tried to sue me? Tried to blackmail me and tell me she’d go to the newspapers with her story if I didn’t give her a million dollars.”

“What did you say?”

“I just let her know I’d release all the videos we’ve made. And let’s just say we’ve made many. She won’t come across as looking like anything but a major slut. She’d be finished in this town.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit hypocritical?”

“Do you think I care?”

“I guess not.”

“What did you want, Brad?”

“You weren’t meant to leave Saskia. You knew the deal. You weren’t meant to let her get married.”

“Things got complicated.” He sounded irritated. “What are you going to do?”

“You knew the deal when you met her. You knew the deal when you helped me take care of my situation”

“Life changes. Her time as my mistress was done.”

“Uncle Aiden, you knew the deal when I mentioned her to you. I never would have told you about her if I thought you’d renege on the deal.”

“What do you want, Brad?” He was getting angry. “I’m the one that helped you when you fucked up. You should be thanking me.”

“I didn’t give you twenty percent of my shares in the company for you to just give her up and dump her on Dominic.”

“She was disrespecting me, Brad. I don’t waste my time with women that disrespect me.”

“How was she disrespecting you?”

“She had men in the apartment while I wasn’t there. I’m even sure there were a couple of times that there were men in the apartment while I was there. I wasn’t giving her ten grand a month to be every man’s whore.”

“You weren’t giving her ten grand a month from your own money. You were giving her ten grand a month from the money I gave you. You were fucking around with Jessie and who knows who else as well. Don’t bloody try that bullshit with me.”

“What can I say? It is what it is and we’re done.”

“You need to get her and Dominic to break up.” My voice was angry. Setting up my uncle with Saskia was the worst move I’d ever made. I know, I know, what was I thinking? I’ll tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking that if I set my uncle up with her (unbeknownst to Saskia, of course) that would mean she’d remain single and she wouldn’t have the opportunity to meet a nice guy who might actually want to make things official with her. I knew my uncle would never leave his wife. She was the money behind his whole business and she wasn’t about to let him go. No matter how fucked up in the head she was. I thought it was the perfect solution at the time. I couldn’t have Saskia, but it allowed me to make sure she was with someone that it wouldn’t get very serious with. I’d used the inheritance my grandparents had left me to pay Aiden each month. He gave Saskia her monthly “salary” and paid her rent for her. Of course, she thought it was all from him. She thought he was her sugar daddy. She didn’t know he was a cheap ass. Everything had been going well until Dominic had hit the scene.

“What I don’t understand is how Dominic met Saskia. It just seems very coincidental.”

“Nothing’s coincidence, you know that Brad.” Aiden’s voice was husky. “I knew that I was ready to move on. I didn’t know Dominic would be so foolish as to fall for her.”

“So he loves her?”

“What do you think?”

“You need to break them up. I don’t care how you do it, but they need to get divorced.”

“Listen to yourself, Brad. Are you really that obsessed? Do you really think that I’m going to break up my son’s marriage?”

“You’re a jackass.”

“It must run in the family. She’s a pretty girl, beautiful even, and she’s dynamite in bed. Why would I make my son leave her? He’ll leave when he’s good and ready.”

“I’ll make him leave if you won’t.”

“Good luck with that. Oh, and Brad.”

“Yes?”

“Lose my number and don’t call me again. I should have told you to fuck off when you approached me all those years ago with the name of a girl you knew would be down to be my mistress. I never asked you why you wanted me to be with her so badly and I never asked you why you wanted monthly updates on her. But I know now that she’s related to that lady you killed. The one you said had the accident. I took care of that for you, but I’m done with you now. I don’t know if I should tell Dominic about you or turn you into the FBI because I think you’re some sort of sick motherfucker. I’m not going to do either right now, but if I hear from you again or if Dominic tells me you’re trying to cause trouble, I will fuck you up. And I will tell Saskia how I happened to be in that bar the night that we met.” And then he hung up.

I sat there with my fists clenched. Everything was spinning out of control. I didn’t know what to do. Most people would say that now was most probably the time to step back. I mean, I was up shit’s creek without a paddle and the alligators were on their way to get me. I had no idea what to do. It seemed as if Saskia and I were doomed.

However, I loved Saskia. My heart beat for her and her alone. I couldn’t imagine living the rest of my days on the earth without her. I had to take drastic measures. Only I wasn’t sure what to do. I knew that she wouldn’t trust me if she knew I was the guiding force behind her relationship with Aiden and even I knew how fucked-up it was that I got my uncle to date her and now she was married to my cousin.

It was a Jerry Springer kind of fucked-up. It was the kind of fucked-up that made people never talk to you again. It was the sort of fucked-up that sparked violence in some people. I couldn’t afford for Saskia to find out. I couldn’t afford for her to know I’d killed the grandmother that had pimped her out. She wouldn’t understand the rage I’d felt. Only three other people knew: Aiden, Natasha, and one other. Unfortunately, there was one of them I trusted to give away my secret if I didn’t give her what I wanted.

But I needed to be with Saskia and my son. To know that the fruit of my loins was out there and being raised by another man was almost too much to take. I knew that I was having irrational thoughts when I was standing in front of the building Saskia now lived in with Dominic. I sat in my car and stared at the doormen and wondered how easy it would be to get into the building, blindfold Saskia and kidnap her. I sighed when I realized I didn’t have a mask or a scarf to put on myself or Saskia. I was starting to think crazy thoughts. I couldn’t kidnap her. That just wouldn’t be okay. I couldn’t kidnap her. I just couldn’t. A small part of me didn’t care though. A small part of me wanted to run inside of that building, grab her and never look back.

“Hello?” I grabbed my ringing phone without looking at the screen.

“Why are you outside my building?” Saskia’s voice was low, and I felt my heart melting at the sound of her voice.

“What are you talking about?” I muttered.

“You’re standing outside of my building.”

“No, I’m not.” I shook my head in denial and then laughed as I realized she couldn’t see it. “I’m not.”

“You are.” She laughed and then there was a tap on my shoulder. I looked to the side and there she was. My beautiful Saskia.

“What are you doing here?”

“The question is what are you doing here?” The smile left her face. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“I shouldn’t be doing a lot of things that I do.”

“What do you want, Brad?”

“You know what I want.” I grabbed her by the arms and pulled her to me.

“Please.” She shook her head. “I… we, can’t do this. Not now.”

“What do you mean, not now?”

“I just got off the phone with Natasha.” She looked away from me. “She wants us to make up.”

“What? Why?” I dropped her arms in shock.

“She’s pregnant, Brad. She’s pregnant, and she wants me to be the godmother.”

Chapter 29

Have you ever been angry? Have you ever been so angry that your whole body has tensed up so still that you’re not sure if you are still in control of your own body? That’s the way I felt when Saskia told me about Natasha. I was positive it wasn’t mine; if she was even pregnant, of course.

“So what are you going to do?” I asked her softly, barely able to look her in the eyes.

“I’m going to say yes.” She bit her lower lip and grabbed my arm. “You know that’s all I can say.”

“You can say no. You can say I don’t believe you and then you can run away with me. That’s what you can do.”

“I’m not going to do that. I’m a married woman.” She looked down at her lap. “And Natasha is my best friend.”

I clenched my fists at her words. “You’re married to Dominic as much as I’m married to Natasha.”

“Then I guess we’re both extremely married.” She cracked a smile. “And congratulations.”

“Congratulations?” I frowned and fisted my hands at my sides. “It’s not mine.”

“Whose is it then?” She made a face. “An alien’s?”

“That would be the most likely answer.”

“From what planet?”

“I’d say Pluto, but it doesn’t exist anymore.” I paused. “That’s what happens to planets that get to know Natasha, they disappear.”

“Brad.” She shook her head. “I have to go.”

“Let’s run away together. Please. We can do this.” I grabbed her hand and we stood there for a second just staring at each other. For a second I thought she was going to say yes. For a second, I thought it was all over. Then the light left her eyes and she stepped back.

“Goodbye, Brad.”

“Saskia, please.” I closed my eyes. “Please stay.” I opened my eyes again and she was gone. The amount of anger I felt in the next minute was unparalleled. I felt like Mike Tyson in a boxing ring with Evander Holyfield and I was ready to do some damage. Some serious damage. I didn’t understand why life was once again playing this cruel trick on me. What was Natasha playing at? I turned around and pulled my phone out and dialed.

“Hello, honey, to what do I owe this honor?”

“You’re a bitch,” I spat out. “You’re a pregnant fucking whore.”

“Is that any way to speak to the mother of your child?”

“You’re not having my child.”

“So, you did go to your slut Saskia then?”

“What?” My voice grew louder in anger.

“How else would you know I was pregnant?” She sighed. “I’d hoped it wouldn’t have to come to this.”

“Just give me a divorce Natasha. I’m over this bullshit.”

“I don’t think you want a divorce.” Her voice grew bitter. “Not when you know I have so much more to tell Saskia.”

“Who’s the real daddy, Natasha?”

“You.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“Are you so sure?” she whispered into the phone. “You might lie to Saskia and you might lie to me, but are you really going to try to lie to yourself?”

I shut off the phone without answering and shoved it into my pocket. My face was hot and heated and I could barely focus. Natasha was right. There was a possibility that the baby was mine. Fate couldn’t be so cruel to me, could it? Was I being paid back for all the devious things I’d done? Was I destined to never be with Saskia? My darling Saskia. There wasn’t a time I couldn’t remember not wanting to be with her. My whole adult life had been based around manipulating people so that we could be together. It couldn’t all be for naught. I hadn’t gone through all this pain and bullshit to end up by myself. There was no way in hell that I was going to let it end this way. There was no way that I was going to play happy family with Natasha. There was no way that I could do it. Nothing was going as planned, but it was far from over.

I went to the only person I had left. I knew he wouldn’t want to help me, but I knew that the alternative wasn’t great for him either. I walked up and banged on his front door.

“Who is it?” Tom opened the door and frowned, his hair was in his face and his shirt was off.

“You’re in bed?”

“What do you want?” He scowled as I pushed past him and walked into his apartment.

“We need to do something.”

“Something about what?”

“Saskia and Dominic.”

“I don’t have to do shit.” He slammed the door. “I’ve done enough for you.”

“You want me to go to the police?” I said softly, and he swore under his breath. “I wasn’t the only one there the day her grandma died.” I gave him a look, and he stared back at me as if he hated me.

“You’re a fucking obsessed piece of shit, Brad.”

“I’m just doing what I have to do.”

“Saskia doesn’t want you.” He rolled his eyes. “Leave her the fuck alone already.”

“You think she wants you?”

“She’s been in my life all these years, sucking my cock, not yours,” he said softly and my stomach rumbled as I stared at him.

“You piece of shit.” I lunged at him, but he grabbed my arm and blocked my fist from connecting with his face.

“Get a grip, Brad. Saskia’s not some innocent princess. She’s sucked more cock than I’ve seen in my life. You fall in love with a slut, that’s what you get.”

“She’s not a slut.” I took a deep breath to calm myself down.

“Dude, she’s fucked with every guy that gives her the time of day.”

“That’s a great way to talk about the woman you love.”

“I love her, but I also know who she is.” He shook his head slowly, his eyes looking at me sadly. “You don’t turn a whore into a housewife, Brad. Even if you get her away from Dominic, what do you think is going to happen? You think she won’t open her legs for me if I call her for a quick fuck? You think she won’t go giving some random jackass a boner in a nightclub or on the train? You think that she won’t still let Dominic hit that. Shit, I’ve watched her fucking Aiden from the closet minutes after she was fucking me.”

“What’s your point?” My brain grew fuzzy. I didn’t want to think of Saskia like that. I didn’t want to think of her being with so many men. It made me furious with her and myself. It made me want to punch a hole through the wall.

“I’m saying give it up.” Tom sighed. “Move on. Divorce Natasha. Go find yourself some nice wholesome girl in the Midwest.”

“They’re the biggest freaks,” I muttered.

“That’s good then.” He grinned. “A freak in the bedroom and a faithful wife outside of the bedroom. That’s what you want.”

“I’m not going to the Midwest to find a girl I don’t want. I want Saskia.”

“Why?” he asked me seriously. “I know why I love her. And I know why I’ll never have her. Why do you want her so badly, Brad? What do you think can come of this?”

“You don’t know the meaning of love, if you’re willing to give up so quickly.” I looked at him and wondered how I could have even equated his love for Saskia to mine. There was nothing similar. He would never talk about Saskia like that if he truly loved her. He would never call her a slut. He would never judge her for sleeping with different men. Especially as he was even worse. He’d slept with more women than I could count. He didn’t love her at all. All this time, I’d been worried that he was the real threat to our being together, but I knew now I had nothing to be worried about.

“Love is just a figment of our imaginations after hot sex.” He opened the fridge. “Want a beer?”

“No.” I shook my head and looked around his apartment. It was then that I heard the noise coming from his bedroom. “Is someone here?”

“What?” He frowned and took a swig of beer.

“Who’s here?” I could feel my heart beating rapidly as I walked to the bedroom. Please don’t let it be Saskia was the only thought running through my brain. Please don’t let it be Saskia. Anyone, but Saskia. I stopped at the door and I knew as I saw her blond hair that it was Jessie.

“Imagine seeing you here.” She licked her lips slowly as she stared at me from the bed. I turned away without speaking and walked back to the kitchen.

“Really, Tom?”

“What? You think you and Dominic are the only ones that get to have fun?” He shrugged, his eyes looking at me shrewdly. “You talk about love, Brad, but would you still be fucking Jessie if you loved Saskia so much? Would you still just be moping around? True love deserves a big gesture, something grand. What are you doing?” He took another sip of beer.

“Good question.” I nodded and left his apartment without saying anything else. What was I doing? Was I going to keep playing this cat and mouse game? Was I going to just wait for something to happen or was I going to take my destiny into my own hands? Was I going to prove to Saskia that I couldn’t live without her? I wanted to, but I wasn’t sure how.

The Moment That Changed Everything

“Fuck me harder,” I heard Natasha screaming as I walked into our apartment. It was the first time I’d heard her so passionate in the bedroom.

“Do you like this, bitch?” He grunted, and I walked to the bedroom, feeling oddly shocked at the sound of his voice. I didn’t think there was much that could shock me at this point.

“Don’t stop.” She moaned. “Just like that.” I watched as her fingers dug into his shoulders. “Yes, like that.” She cried out, as he slammed into her repeatedly. I watched his back moving back and forth as she bit down into his shoulder.

“Just like that?” I spoke softly and walked into the bedroom, alerting them to my presence. He froze before he turned to look at me. For the first time ever, I saw dismay and shock in his eyes.

“You’re not meant to be here.” He jumped off of the bed.

“Why?” I laughed and ran my hands through my hair. “Does it matter?”

“I…” He paused and looked back at Natasha. “She came on to me.”

“Do you think I care?” I looked at Natasha’s smug face and I knew that she thought that this was some sort of big moment for her. If she only knew how little I cared.

“It wasn’t supposed to happen.” He looked pissed off at himself and I wasn’t sure if it was because he’d committed a cardinal sin or just because he’d been caught. I was almost sure it was the latter.

“It doesn’t matter.” I paused as an idea hit me. “Though, there is one thing you can do for me.”

“Brad,” Natasha spoke up and I could see the red in her face as she pulled the sheets up over her. “This isn’t what it looks like.”

“It’s exactly what it looks like.” I smiled at her. “Thank you.”

“Thank you?” She frowned in confusion and looked at him.

“What are you talking about, Brad?”

I turned away from her then as an idea hit me. I knew exactly what I had to do now. And I knew who was going to help me. It didn’t matter what he wanted to do. “Did you know that Natasha was pregnant?”

“What the fuck?” He froze, and I saw the blood draining from his face.

“Yes, what the fuck indeed.” I looked at the two of them and shook my head slowly. “And I’m pretty sure this isn’t the first time is it?” I looked back at him. “I can make things very difficult for you.” I stopped and let that sink in and I knew he knew he was cornered. There was no way he wanted that coming out. It should have been black and white then. I should have been able to call Saskia and tell her the truth about her “friend” Natasha and the truth about who she was, but I didn’t know if it was going to be enough.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that I should just divorce Natasha and wait to see what happens with Saskia. I can’t afford to take that chance. Not with someone like Saskia. You see, the last thing she cares about is her own true happiness. The last thing she wants is to fight for us. That’s the very last thing that she wants. Even if she didn’t know it. I was going to show her. I was going to make her see. I looked in front of me and smiled. And now I had someone that was going to help me, whether he wanted to or not. He had no choice. If you didn’t know it by now, I don’t play fair. If you didn’t know by now, I’m a little bit crazy. If I could have gone back, I wouldn’t have made the same decision. But we all do crazy things in times like this. At least that’s what I tell myself. I wasn’t to know what was going to happen. How could I have known? I assumed the old adage that all was fair in love and war was true. I had no idea that I was up against someone who was the puppet master and not the puppet.

“So what do you want?” He looked at me with a pissed and surly expression.

“I’ll let you know, Uncle Aiden,” I said softly. “I’ll let you know very soon.” I smiled to myself as my plan started to come together in my mind. I should have known years ago that there was only one way that I was going to get Saskia. There was only one way that I could make her mine and now I knew what I had to do. I knew that I didn’t have to worry about Natasha telling on me anymore. I knew that Aiden would make sure to keep her mouth shut.

Chapter 30

Love can turn into obsession quite easily. Very easily in fact. It’s a thin line between adoration and obsession. I know, I walk the line between both quite easily. So, you should know that my son’s name is Braydon and he looks just like me. He has my eyes and my hair, but he has his mother’s smile. We all live together now, in a beautiful log cabin in the woods of Oregon on a one hundred acre piece of land. I can’t tell you much more than that. I can’t even tell you if I’m lying about living in Oregon.

You see, I can’t have anyone knowing my exact location. I can’t have anyone finding me and Saskia. It was easy to take her. I always knew I could take her, I just didn’t know how and when. And I didn’t think I could leave Natasha and be with Saskia, not without breaking Saskia. Of course, I could have told her the truth about Natasha, but that would have broken Saskia’s heart. She always believed in Natasha. I hadn’t protected her for so long from the truth to break her heart into a billion pieces. And I would be lying if I wasn’t also protecting myself.

Could Saskia really forgive the man that had killed her grandma and brought both Aiden and Dominic into her life? Sometimes I thought that maybe she could, but then I thought about Jessie and the blond twins she’d given birth to a few months ago. The twins with the same eyes as me. Could Saskia forgive me for that sin? I knew how much she hated Jessie. It would kill her to know that not only had I fucked Jessie but I’d made her pregnant as well.

So I’d convinced her to go on a picnic with me and to bring Braydon (I’d lied and said that Natasha was coming). And then I’d put a crushed up sleeping pill in her wine and taken Aiden’s private jet to Oregon. When she’d woken up, we’d already been at the farm. She’d asked to leave the first couple of weeks, but then she’d accepted that this was her new life. I’d told her I’d divorced Natasha and that all I wanted was her. She’d protested at first, but then I’d stuck my tongue inside of her and sucked on her clit until she came and she’d stopped asking to leave. Sometimes she woke me up by riding my cock and sometimes she woke me up by sitting on my face. I didn’t care how she woke me up; I was just grateful to have her and all of her with me, finally.

I knew that this was as close to the end of a fairy tale as we were going to get. There’s only one thing that worries me though; one little hitch that could cause everything to come crashing down on me. I’d left the city with all of my i’s dotted and all my t’s crossed but one. Dominic had been unaware of everything and in order to ensure that he didn’t go snooping I’d had to take care of him. I thought everything was going my way finally until I’d seen the news report about the body being found. I’d turned off the TV before Saskia could see the news though. I didn’t need her to get suspicious. All I needed was for her to ride me like she did every night and everything else would be okay.

PLAYING WITH FIRE

Playing With Fire

J. S. Cooper

Prologue

I never thought I would meet someone like Grant Slate. He’s the sort of guy that you daydream about when you’re in bed and left alone to your fantasies. He’s the sort of guy that can get you to do things you never thought you would do. And when I say never, I mean never. When Grant Slate came into my life, I was ready for some excitement. I was ready to spice things up. Only I didn’t expect for everything to turn out like this. You see Grant Slate had secrets. And desires. And expectations. Expectations that I wasn’t prepared for. Yet, I was willing to see where it all lead me. And oh boy, that was mistake number one.

Chapter 31

Life never gives you a warning. It never runs up to you and slaps you in the face and says, “hey today is going to be a crazy day, or a good day, or a bad day, or the day that changes your life.” Nope, no warning has ever come my way before and even though I don’t know if I would have listened if it would have come, I’d like to think that on that day, the day that started the beginning of my rollercoaster ride, I would have listened.

“I want to make you an offer.” Hailey giggled and sat down on the side of my bed, her face innocent and excited as she gave me a winning smile. She has been my friend and roommate for years now and so feels comfortable interrupting me without knocking on the door.

“Oh no.” I groaned as I shook my head. “Not another one of your offers.” I already knew that none of her offers ever worked out well for me.

“Come on, Evie.” She made a face and wrinkled her nose in that way she does when she really wants to get her own way. I know it works well on men, but I was determined that it was not going to work on me. “Just say yes.”

“I’m not saying yes until you tell me what the offer involves.” I put my book down on the mattress and raised an eyebrow at her. I knew that it was going to be something big the way she was being so evasive.

“It’s nothing big.” She said as if she could read my mind and I laughed slightly.

“Hailey, just tell me.” I looked into her big green eyes with a stern face. “I’m not agreeing to any favors until I know what you want.”

“So,” she paused. “Josh just called me and asked me on a date.” She grinned.

“Okay?” I responded, trying not to feel sorry for myself. Josh was a hot guy we’d both met a couple of weeks before at a bar. I’d actually thought that maybe he’d liked me when we’d all met, but I should have known better.

“And well it’s Saturday night and I feel like I should go out with him and see what happens. Saturday’s are for dates, you know?”

“Way to make me feel like a loser.” I rolled my eyes at her. I hadn’t had a date in a while.

“Oops.” She giggled again. “Sorry, Evie.” She certainly didn’t sound very sorry to me, but I kept my mouth shut. I didn’t want her to start giving me advice on what she thought I needed to do to get a man. I knew she thought I was too uptight and maybe she was right. I’d never done anything crazy before. Never had a one-night stand. Never really experimented much. It wasn’t that I’d never thought about it, but I was too introverted and in my head to just let myself go.

“Uh huh. So what do you want?” I said, fast losing patience and wanting to get back to my romance book.

“I’m meant to work tonight,” she began, and I groaned, already knowing what was coming.

“Do you want me to go meet up with Josh and tell him to wait?” I gave her an impish smile, knowing full well she didn’t want me to go and meet up with Mr. hot baseball player Josh.

“No,” She bit her lower lip and gave me a winning smile. “I want you to go to work for me.”

“No way.” I shook my head. “There is no way.” I almost burst out laughing. If I could barely flirt with a hot guy in a bar, there was no way that I was going to be able to dance up on men I didn’t even think were hot.

“Please?” She grabbed my hands and gave me a doleful gaze. “I’ll love you forever.”

“No, Hailey.” I pushed her hands away and jumped off the bed. “There is no way I’m going to work for you tonight.” I shook my head again vehemently. “No way.” I stared at Hailey and I felt all nervous just thinking about her job. And having to do the things I knew she did; even if she didn’t always admit it.

“It’s a bachelor party, so it will be a lot tamer than some of the events that I do.” She jumped up and walked towards me, her green eyes pleading. “Plus, there will be two other girls and they will do any special request stuff.”

“No way, Jose.” I wanted to ask her what the special request stuff was that she was talking about, but I didn’t really want to know. Well I did what to know, but I didn’t want her to think I was asking because I was considering her request.

“You won’t even have to do much.” She gave me her pouty face. “Just some flirting. Please, Evie.”

“Yeah right. What’s not much?”

“Maybe a lap dance or two.” She shrugged. “That’s it.”

“A lap dance or two? Hell no!”

“Please, Evie. I really need this date. I’ve been feeling so blah lately. Plus, Starr and Crystal are cool. They won’t try to pressure you.”

“You know I can’t do...”

“You’ll make five grand,” she interrupted with, and my jaw dropped.

“What?” My eyes bulged open and I swallowed hard. Five grand would pay a lot of bills. “Five grand?”

“Yeah, some rich guy is getting married.” She shrugged as if that were normal. “Minimum for the night is five grand.”

“I get to keep all of it?” I asked her, eyes narrowed.

“Yup.” She grinned at me, knowing that the money was making me reconsider, as she knew it would. “Trust me, it won’t be so bad. Some of these guys don’t even need you to strip. They’re so worried their fiancées will find out. They just want a quick dance.”

“So all I have to do is dance?” I frowned, considering it. Would it really be so bad?

“Yup.” She grinned. “You can just dance around the room. Let the other girls do the lap dances and stuff and you can stay in the background.”

“I don’t know.” I sighed. “You know I have an interview on Monday. I should be getting ready for that.” Though I knew that tonight had been dedicated to finishing my book, not prepping for the interview.

“It’s one night.” Hailey looked away. “And what happens if you don’t get the job on Monday?”

“I don’t know.” I sighed and ran my hands through my shoulder-length brown hair. “If I don’t get the job, I’m screwed.” I had two hundred dollars in my bank account and that wasn’t going to get me far. I’d lost my last job six months ago and had been having a hard time finding something new. I’d hoped that I’d make enough money as a freelance journalist, but it just wasn’t happening.

“You know I can cover rent.” Hailey rubbed my shoulder. “But I can’t cover your credit card or student loan bills.”

“I know,” I gave her a smile. “Even rent is great. I’m lucky to have a friend like you.”

“And there are going to be some rich bankers there. Bankers might be able to help you with your story.” She knew that I’d been working on an article for the last couple of months and that I’d been having a hard time finding sources.

“You think so?” I looked at her in disbelief.

“I think so.” She nodded. “Guys will say and agree to anything when they’re drunk and horny.”

“Hailey.” I groaned as I closed my eyes.

“Remember you just said you’re lucky to have me as a friend.”

“I am lucky.” I sighed.

“So lucky you’ll do me this favor?” She smiled and I nodded reluctantly. She squealed then and grabbed me around the waist. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she sputtered out excitedly.

“I hope this isn’t a mistake.” I said already regretting my decision, but the thought of making five grand in one night was pushing all of my inhibitions away. I mean how bad could it be?

“Trust me, it’ll be fine. The guys will love you.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.” I rolled my eyes. “I don’t want a bunch of men trying to touch me.”

“They won’t.” Hailey shook her head. “They know that’s against the rules. Unless you agree to it. And that’s extra anyway.”

“Okay.” I sighed and looked in the mirror. I stared at my reflection and wondered what I was getting myself into. My green eyes stared back at me with a slightly stunned expression. I had no idea why I was agreeing to this. Well, that’s not true. I was doing it for five grand. I was doing this in the name of research. I was this close to being sent to collections. If I didn’t get some money soon, my credit would be shot and I’d have a much harder time finding a job as an investigative reporter. What reporters in the finance world had bad credit?

“What should I wear?” I looked down at my shorts and t-shirt and groaned as I pictured myself wearing considerably less than I was right now. I didn’t even want to think about it.

“Hold on.” Hailey ran out of the room. “Crystal sent me a text; there was a request from the guys.”

“You take requests?” I frowned. If she came back and told me pasties, I was out.

“The tips will be good.” Hailey called back to me. “Hold on, let me check.” She walked back into the bedroom and dropped down on the bed next to me and checked her phone. “Okay,” she paused and gave me a look. “I’m not sure if I should tell you.”

“Hailey,” I muttered, “tell me.”

“They want everyone in a bikini.”

“Bikini? Where is this party, at the beach?” I said rolling my eyes, but I sighed in relief. I didn’t really want to wear a bikini, but at least there was some coverage there. Not much, but some.

“Do you hope it’s going to be at the beach?” Hailey grinned. “Would that make you feel better?”

“No and no.” I sighed. “Where is it?”

“Some exclusive club in the city. I think the lower east side.”

“Fine.” I shook my head at her. “Are you giving me money for a cab?”

“You’re going to make five grand, Evie.”

“After the party. I’m not taking a train down. That’s like 3 changes.” I bit my lower lip. “I need to borrow forty dollars for a cab.”

“Borrow?” She tilted her head and looked at me. “You’re going to pay me back?”

“If I make five grand tonight, then hell yeah, I’ll pay you back!” I said, and we both laughed.

“Fine.” She said finally as she handed me sixty dollars. “Have a good night.”

“Yeah, it’s going to be fantastic.” I rolled my eyes. “Something I’ll tell my grandkids about.”

“You never know.” She grinned.

“Trust me, I know. This is not going to be a night I will ever want to remember.”

“I wouldn’t bet on that.” She winked at me. “You never know who you might meet.”

“That’s the problem I said. I’ve a good idea that none of these guys are going to be ones I’d ever hope to meet.” And with that I shooed her out of the room, so I could go and have a shower and shave all the parts that would be out in the open later that evening.

Chapter 32

“How do I always get myself into these situations?” I mumbled to myself and groaned.  I looked around the room and tried not to stare at the top half naked women in front of me. Both of them had been friendly enough when I’d arrived in Hailey’s place, but maybe that was because they’d been so busy applying makeup to faces that already seemed heavily made up.

“Sorry, what did you say?” Starr grinned at me, glitter all over her face and body.

“Nothing.” I shook my head. “I was just wondering what outfits we’ll be wearing?”

“Outfits?” Starr gave me a crazy look. “What outfits?”

“I thought we’d be wearing outfits tonight…” My voice trailed off. Oh my God, I was going to kill Hailey. Was she lying about the bikinis? “Like bikinis? I didn’t think I’d be naked?”

“Don’t worry, honey.” Starr laughed as she adjusted her blonde wig. “Hailey told me you’d be taking over for her tonight and you might not be down with going naked. You can wear a bikini and pop out of the cake.”

“Pop out of the cake?” I frowned. “What does that mean?”

“It means you’ll jump out of the cake and do a little dance.” The other girl, Crystal, spoke up as she joined the conversation. “Unless you’d rather give lap dances?”

“Um, the cake sounds fine.” I said weakly. “I’ll still get five grand?”

“Yeah.” Starr nodded. “Though you could make more if you did the lap dances.”

“Oh?” I wondered how much more.

“I’m thinking I’m going to get about 25k tonight.” She grinned. “These rich guys pay well for some booty shaking.” She swung her booty all the way to the floor and starting doing a grind that made me blush. No way I was going to be doing that. I didn’t actually even think it was possible for my body to make those moves, if I was honest.

“But you have to be naked when you do the dance?” I asked, trying to avoid staring directly at her jiggling breasts.

“You don’t have to be.” She shook her head. “But these rich guys, that’s what they want. They want it as freaky as it can be. Shit, I’m willing to be freaky for 25k. I mean the dance starts off with clothes, that’s part of the tease.”

“How freaky?” I asked, as my heart stopped. Was I going to be witnessing sex or something? I mean, I knew I had to see a seedier side of life as a reporter, but I wasn’t sure this was how I wanted it to start. And I didn’t want any of the men thinking I was willing to give them a blow job or anything else for some extra dollars.

“Don’t worry, girl.” Crystal shook her head. “We’re classy girls.” She pasted two silver stars on her nipples as she spoke and I tried not to laugh. “We don’t fuck ‘em or give them blow jobs. We just dance.”

“Yeah, we’re not hoes.” Starr pouted her lips and applied some bright red lipstick, before grabbing a huge vibrating dildo from a bag. I didn’t even want to know what she was going to do with that. I wondered if it was too late to run out and change my mind.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to suggest that—” I started, but I stopped when Starr started laughing.

“Girl, it’s not serious, trust me. We’ve been called far worse.” She handed me a bikini. “Put this on. Mark’s going to wheel the cake in soon. You’ll stay in there until you hear a bang. Then just pop out. Once you pop out, you can do a little dance and then just come back in here and wait for us.”

“That’s it?” I looked surprised. “I guess I can do that.” I took the bikini from her. It was basically two pieces of string.  I held it in my hand and took a deep breath. Did I really want to prance out of a cake in a string bikini? Not really. “Do you have any other options?” I asked Starr hopefully. “I’m not sure this is going to compliment my body.” I laughed awkwardly and Starr and Crystal started laughing. “Is that a yes?” I asked hopefully.

“Girl, just put the bikini on.” Crystal rolled her eyes. “It’ll be fine. And make sure to take your glasses off.”

“Oh?” I bit my lower lip. “I left my contacts at home.”

“Girl, I don’t care if you left them in an elephant’s butt.” Crystal rolled her eyes. “You ain’t going out there with no librarian glasses on.”

“Not unless it was part of your dance routine.” Starr added. “These men, they love them a dowdy librarian turned sexpot.” Starr started getting excited as ideas started popping out of her. “Throw the glasses onto a guys lap and then start taking everything off.” She nodded, her eyes wide as she gazed at my body. “Yup, a bunch of them would love that. They’d think they’d died and gone to nerdy heaven.”

“Yeah, no way am I doing that.” I said quickly, in case they decided to make that a mandatory move. “I won’t be able to see much without my glasses and I would just fall and trip.”

“You don’t need to see nothing. And they’d be happy if you fell into their lap and wiggled around.” Crystal responded and then she just rolled her eyes as she looked at the expression on my face. I knew both of them were wondering why I’d even come for the night if I was such a prude. “Just hurry up and put the bikini on. We gotta go out in a bit. If we’re late, the guys will be mad and we’ll get docked a couple hundred dollars.”

“Okay.” I sighed and looked around. “Is there a changing room for me to put this on?” My voice drifted off as they both looked at me once again as if I were crazy. “Or I can just change here.” I sighed and undid my jeans. Hailey really owed me. This was going to be so awkward. I didn’t care if I was only popping out of a cake, a bunch of random guys were going to see me in a string bikini that left absolutely nothing to the imagination. I cringed as I pulled the top on. It was so small I knew my boobs would pop out with one wrong move. The only saving grace was my nipples were covered, barely. I pulled the bottoms on and frowned as I realized my ass was hanging out completely in the thong bottom. I would never wear a bathing suit like this normally. And when I say never, I mean not even if someone gave me $100. I laughed to myself as I realized I was doing it for five grand though. Oh the humiliation. Thank God, there was noone there that I knew to witness my shame. If I’d known I’d have to wear this tonight, I would have done a billion squats and lunges.

I looked down at my body and ran my hands over my stomach. No one could ever mistake me for a Victoria’s Secret model. And I had a feeling I wasn’t going to be getting any information from any of the bankers at the party by staying back in the crowds. It wasn’t even realistic for me to think I could go around dancing and asking if anyone knew anything about insider trading on Wall Street. Like who asks those questions at a bachelors party? I was stupid for even thinking it would have been possible.

“Don’t worry, girl.” Starr looked at me with a smile. “These guys don’t want sticks and bones. They like women with a bit of meat on them.” She stared at my stomach and then ass and I tried not to take offense. I wasn’t unhappy with my body, even though I knew I could have lost a couple of pounds or twenty.

“Uh, thanks.” I smiled back at her, not sure if was a compliment or not. Even though I was comfortable in my own skin, I didn’t want to be referred to as someone with a bit of meat on her. I wanted to be thin and beautiful with a flat taut stomach, and defined abs wouldn’t hurt either, though I knew that wasn’t something to be worried about right now, as I couldn’t turn back time.

“Hey, do you guys have any bronzer?” I asked quickly, thinking about a magazine article I’d read, saying you could add some definition to your body using makeup. Maybe I could fake it a little bit.

“Yeah, here.” Crystal handed it to me with a nod. “You’re looking a bit pale.”

“It’s for my stomach, not my face.” I responded, my face burning.

“Oh, oops.” She made a face at Starr, and they both laughed.

“It’s fine.” I sighed. “I haven’t been able to tan much recently.”

“It’s fine. Many guys like the pale look.” Crystal made a face, her dark olive skin glowing as she looked me up and down. “Peaches and cream, they call it. You can call yourself Peaches tonight.”

“Sorry, what?” I frowned.

“Your. Name. Tonight. Will. Be. Peaches.” Crystal said slowly. “If any of the guys ask you.”

“Oh, okay.” I shrugged and applied the bronzer to my stomach, hoping to give it definition. The color was much deeper than my own skin color and I frowned as I applied it to my skin. It almost looked like dirt. I was about to rub it off, but Crystal started speaking to me again and I could tell from the look on her face that she didn’t want to be bothered with me asking her where I could find some tissue paper and water to wipe it off.

“Unless you’d rather be called something else?”

“Like what?”

“What about tight pus—“ she began, and Starr giggled and touched her shoulder.

“Be nice, Crystal. We still need Peaches to jump out of the cake. That was a requirement for the night. They wanted three girls, remember?”

“Fine.” Crystal rolled her eyes. “You ready?”

“I guess so.” I took my glasses off and put them in my handbag. “What do I do?”

“Wait here. We’ll get the cake. Just sit in it and jump out when you hear a loud bang.”

“Okay.” I nodded. “That sounds simple enough.”

* * *

I sat in the cake listening to the music booming and the sounds of a lot of men talking. I was starting to feel hot, and I could feel the sweat running down my body. I tried to shift, but there was nowhere to move. And then I heard a loud bang. “Is this the signal?” I muttered to myself as I sat there. I heard another bang and then popped up out of the cake. “TA DA!” I screamed as I jumped up, the cake flying everywhere. My eyes were fuzzy as I looked into the room, but I could tell everyone was staring at me.

“You were supposed to wait for the loud bangs,” Crystal screamed at me as I stepped out of the cake awkwardly.

“I heard the bangs,” I said feebly as I listened to the bass of a rap song playing in the background. Was that the bangs I’d been hearing? I made a face and then tripped forward as I clambered out of the cake. I felt two hands grabbing hold of my arms as I tripped, and I looked up and saw a slightly blurry masculine face looking down at me. “Sorry.” I mumbled and looked away. I couldn’t really make out what he looked like.

“No worries.” His voice was deep as he stood there in front of me, his hands still on my arms. His fingers pressed into my skin, and I shivered slightly at the feel of his cool hands on my warm skin. “Do you need a hand?”

“No, I’m fine. Thanks.” I pulled away from him and then looked for Crystal and Starr to see what I should do now. However, they were both busy giving two guys lap dances. Hmm.

“Do you need help?”

“I’m fine.” I shook my head and bit my lip. I could see my five grand going down the drain if I just stood there. “I’m trying to figure out what to do.”

“Maybe you should give a lap dance?” He suggested with a hint of humor in his voice.

“I don’t think so.” I shook my head as I looked around the room at all the men in their business suits.

“A regular dance then?”

“I guess so.” I sighed. “This sucks,” I muttered.

“Sorry, what?” He leaned towards me, and I stared into a pair of bright steely blue eyes mere inches from my face.

“Nothing.” I swallowed as I focused in on his face. Now that he was closer I could see him more clearly and he was very attractive. In fact, he was hot.

“Your friend is looking at you. I suggest you get to work,” he whispered into my ear, and I turned and saw Crystal giving me a death stare. I sighed and started moving back and forth to the rap song, trying my best to dance in time to the beat.

“Hey sexy.” An overweight balding guy whistled at me from a few yards away. “I’ll have a lap dance for a stack.”

“A stack?” I repeated back at him and took a step back.

“A stack of hundreds.” He grinned and held up a wad of cash. “What’s your name?”

“Peaches,” I said hesitantly. I really didn’t want to give him a lap dance. Not even for hundreds.

“Come on over, Peaches.” He whistled. “I like my peaches with cream. You can be the peaches and I’ll provide the cream,” he joked, and I froze. Was he saying what I thought he was saying?

“She’s with me.” The guy in front of me pulled me into his arms. “Right, Peaches?”

“Uh, yeah.” I nodded slowly. “Sorry, he asked me for a dance first.”

“Whatever.” The bald guy turned away, looking annoyed.

“Thanks,” I whispered to the guy in front of me and tried to step back. “That was a close one.”

“Where are you going?” His voice dropped, and his expression looked serious. “I want my dance.”

“Oh, you were serious?”

“I’m always serious.” He smiled at me for a few seconds and then spoke again. “What’s your name?”

“Evie,” I said as we walked back to his chair. “I mean Peaches.”

“Evie Peaches.” He grinned as he sat down on a couch in the back of the room.

“Peaches.” I made a face. “That’s my dancer name.”

“Okay.” He patted the seat next to him. “Sit down, Peaches.”

“I thought you wanted a dance?”

“We can get to that later.” He patted his chair again. “Let’s talk first.”

“Uh, okay.” I sat down next to him, feeling awkward in my tiny bikini. I sat back and tried to hold my breath in to make my stomach look flat.

“You okay?” He frowned as he looked at me.

“Yeah, of course,” I said stiffly, my body burning in shame as he stared at me. Not only was I feeling self-conscious, I was also feeling embarrassed and like I wanted to cry.

“Are you new to the dancing business?”

“You could say that.” I nodded.

“Don’t worry.” He grabbed my hand. “You can relax.”

“You don’t want a dance?” I asked hopefully as I looked back at him. Maybe he’d just let me sit here and talk to him the whole night. Maybe he’d feel bad for me because I was new and obviously not in the same class of girls as Crystal and Starr. Maybe he’d be one of those nice guys who thought stripping was degrading to women.

“No, I want you to dance.” He grinned and licked his lips. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Oh, okay.” I sighed and made to get up.

“Not yet, though.” He shook his head. “And not here.”

“Huh?” I frowned at him. “When and where? I’m not a hooker, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m not about to go to your car and do anything.” My voice trailed off as I looked back at him. This man looked gorgeous and rich. Surely he didn’t need to pay for any favors from someone like me. He could get a lot more for free from far more beautiful women. “I’m not giving you a blow job.”

“I don’t want you to go to my car.” He shook his head and smirked slightly. “Tell me, Peaches, why are you working here? You look so uncomfortable.”

“I’m working this party for a friend.” I sighed and made a face. “I know how that sounds. Cliché, right? Broke college girl trying out stripping for fun or whatever. But I’m not in college, and this isn’t fun. But I am broke, and my roommate told me I would make five grand for the night.” I shrugged. “And she said no sex or anything, so I figured how hard could it be?”

“So you’re new to all this?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Couldn’t you tell?”

“I could tell when you burst out of the cake you had no idea what was going on.” He laughed.

“Yeah, Crystal and Starr didn’t look too impressed.” I groaned as I thought back to the two girls’ expressions. “But hopefully, they didn’t notice.”

“I doubt anyone really noticed,” he spoke again. “Most of the guys are wasted.”

“Yeah, it’s a bachelor’s party.”

“I kinda noticed that.” He laughed and I blushed. He reached over to me, and his fingers trailed down my neck. I held my breath as I wondered what he was going to do next. Please don’t let him try and grope my breast, I thought to myself. And please don’t let him try and reach even farther. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do if he tried to finger me or something. I closed my eyes for a second, wondering what I should do, when he sat back.

“You look nervous.” His voice was soft as he whispered into my ear. I opened my eyes and gave him an awkward smile.

“No,” I squeaked out, thanking God his fingers were no longer on me, though my body wasn’t as happy. My body had quite liked his warm fingers on my skin, caressing me.

“How about that dance now?” He sat back in the chair and smiled as the music changed. A loud fast number I didn’t know was playing, and I stood up nervously.

“You can do this,” I whispered to myself, though I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Was he expecting me to take my clothes off? Was he expecting me to rub myself all over him? Was he expecting he’d be able to touch me? I wanted to groan as I started dancing in front of him, my face burning a deep red. He sat there, his eyes watching me like a hawk as I moved back and forth awkwardly.

“Don’t be nervous.” He growled as he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him. I stumbled into his lap and adjusted my position so I was straddling him. That was a mistake. I could feel his hardness between my legs and I bit down on my lower lip as I felt myself growing wet. This was so embarrassing, and I knew he could tell I was turned on because he was grinning as he stared at me. His hands lay on my hips gently, and he started rocking my body back and forth. He seemed to be getting harder and harder beneath me and I averted my eyes from his. I was starting to feel turned on and that confused me and made me feel a little bit slutty.

“Just dance on my lap.” He leaned forward, and his tongue licked my ear. “That way we’ll both feel good.”

“I don’t know,” I mumbled as I moved around on his lap. I could feel him growing harder beneath me and his hands were sliding down my ass. I was starting to see how easy it was for the lines to become blurred in situations like this. I felt like I was dry humping him on a date that I wanted to lead to sex. In fact, I was starting to feel more turned on than I normally felt before sex with someone I was dating. It really made me feel like I was a bit of a slut. Was I basically getting a guy and myself off for money? I groaned as I felt the man moving me back and forth faster. My breasts were hitting his chest now, and I felt him slide down in the seat a bit, so my breasts were slapping his face. I tried to push his hands off my hips, but he just shook his head.

“No, don’t stop,” he muttered, and I licked my lips nervously. I was the one giving him the dance, but he was definitely the one in control of everything happening.

“I think I have to stop now,” I whispered hoarsely as I felt his mouth on my nipple over my bikini and his fingers were now squeezing my ass as I moved back and forth.

“Not yet,” he groaned, and I felt his hand between my legs for a second as he undid his zipper. “Ten more seconds,” he muttered, and I realized he had pulled his cock out of his pants and it was now sitting between my legs as I moved back and forth. I jumped up after two seconds as I felt his fingers sliding my bikini bottoms to the side and the tip of his hardness right next to my wetness.

“No way, Jose.” I shook my head and looked down at him. “Sorry, I can’t continue with this dance.” I readjusted my bikini bottoms and blushed heavily.

“What if I offered you twenty grand to finish it?” He sat there staring at me with narrowed eyes.

“No, sorry.” I watched as he tucked himself away again. I looked away again as I thought about the size of him.

“What about one-hundred thousand dollars?”

“To finish a dance, or to have sex with you?” I mumbled shocked as I stared at him again. Was he for real? A part of me felt horrified that I was even considering his offer.

“A hundred thousand to finish the dance.” He smiled at me and stared at me expectantly. “Whatever that means to you.”

“With your you-know-what out?” I tripped over my words, feeling like an immature teenager.

“Yes, with my cock out and between your legs. Your bikini bottom would be off,” he said shortly. “No penetration, though.”

“No,” I said softly. “Sorry, I can’t do that.” I shook my head and sighed. “As much as I’d like to make a hundred grand, I can’t do that.”

“Are you sure?” He asked me softly. “I’d pay you in cash.”

“I’m sure.” I nodded and looked down at the floor. A hundred grand would go a long way. And it wasn’t even sex. Did mutual gratification and no sex count as prostitution? Would I really feel that cheap?

“Good.” He grinned as he jumped up and took my hand. “Come with me.”

“Huh?” I looked up at him in confusion.

“You passed my test.”

“What test?” I blinked at him feeling dazed.

“I’ll explain more later. Let’s go and get your stuff.”

“What?” I frowned, feeling confused. “What are you talking about?”

“We’re leaving.”

“I can’t leave. I haven’t gotten paid yet.”

“I’ll give you the five grand for tonight. Go and grab your stuff, put your clothes on, and meet me outside in ten minutes.”

“Um, I’m confused.”

“I’ll explain more later.” He squeezed my hand. “Now do as you’re told and go get your stuff.”

“Okay.” I nodded and sighed. “I guess I can–”

“Peaches.” He placed a finger to my lip. “Be quiet. Go get your stuff and meet me outside. You now have seven minutes.”

“Okay. By the way, what’s your name?” I changed the subject to hide my irritation. I wanted to tell him to fuck off, but I was too intrigued to just walk away.

“I’ll tell you when I meet you outside.” He grinned, and I felt his fingers on my stomach tracing a trail around my belly button. “I’ll tell you everything when we meet again. Don’t be late. You won’t like it if you’re late.”

* * *

I hurried away from him, not sure how I was feeling. I was attracted to him. I was excited by him, but his attitude also annoyed me. I had seven minutes? Really? Says who? He wasn’t my boss. I didn’t even know him. A part of me wanted to just tell him thanks, but no thanks, but I didn’t know what I was saying ‘no thanks’ to. I knew I was about to make the second stupidest mistake of the day. The first had been agreeing to come here to work for Hailey. The second would be going outside to meet the handsome stranger. I felt like I was in a movie as I pulled on my clothes quickly. I wasn’t really sure I was making the right decision, but I couldn’t stop myself from doing it. I grabbed my bag, put on my glasses, and hurried outside, my heart racing rapidly. This whole evening had been an adrenaline rush and I was loathe to end it.

“You’re late.” He pursed his lips as he stared at me.

“Late for what?” I rolled my eyes, feeling much more comfortable with my clothes on.

“I told you you had seven minutes.” His eyes never left mine, and I started to feel like a naughty school kid.

“So? It’s not like—” I started, but the look he gave me made me pause. “What’s the big deal? I’m here now.”

“Two minutes late.”

“Really, dude? You’re going to complain about two minutes?”

“Two minutes is—” He started.

“Get over it.” I interrupted him this time, and I could see the surprise in his eyes. “What’s your offer and where’s the money?”

“The money?”

“The five grand?” I said, feeling very much like a gold-digger. It almost made me laugh that I was being so forward. I didn’t even recognize myself right now. I wasn’t sure where the bravado had come from.

“The five grand?” He cocked his head to the side. “You seem to be into the money more than you’re into me.”

“More than I’m into you?” I laughed out loud. “What are you talking about?”

“Peaches, why did you come outside?” He flicked his fingers in the air and I watched as a limo pulled up to the curb.

“I don’t really know,” I mumbled as I watched a tall muscular man step out from the driver’s seat and open the door to the back.

“Thanks, Tyler. You can wait inside the car.” He nodded at the chauffeur and then looked back at me. “Are you ready to go?”

“Go where?”

“You’re a bit mouthy, aren’t you?” He frowned.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You seemed more reserved in the bar.”

“Maybe because I was scared out of my mind.” I made a face. “I don’t normally spend my days in a too-small bikini, being ogled by a bunch of dirty old men.”

“Do you consider me a dirty old man?”

“No.”

“Do you consider me your savior?” he asked with a small smile.

“No.” I laughed at the disappointment on his face. “You didn’t save me from anything. I mean, you’re still pretty sketchy. You still asked me to dance for you. And now you asked me to come outside so you can give me money for who knows what.”

“You still came.”

“I want to know what you wanted.” I shrugged.

“And you want your five grand.” He laughed. “Let’s go for a drive. Tyler will start to get worried.”

“Worried about what?” I frowned and looked him up and down. “From what I can tell, you’re old enough to look after yourself.” I took a step forward and looked at his dark hair. “In fact, I’m pretty sure I see a grey hair.”

“It’s not polite to insult your savior, Peaches.”

“You can call me Evie now, and like I said before, you’re not my savior.”

“Get in the car, Evie.”

“Hell no.” I took a step back. “I watch Criminal Minds and Law and Order: SVU. Do you think I’m stupid?”

“Evie, I don’t have patience for this.” He sighed, and I watched a nerve in his throat as he stared at me angrily. I stared at his face. He was even more handsome with my glasses on and in the light. His hair was darker than I’d thought, almost black, and his eyes were a bright blue.

“Then give me my money and we can both peace out.”

“Peace out?” He stared at my face for a few seconds and then started laughing. “You’re different.”

“Different from what?”

“From what I thought.” He stepped closer to me and lifted my glasses off my face and stared at me for a few seconds before putting them back on the bridge of my nose. “I guess the glasses give you spunk.”

“Nah, the clothes give me my spunk.” I smiled at him as my body shivered being so close to him.

“Hold on.” He leaned forward and kissed me hard for a second. I felt my body still at the touch of his warm lips against mine. I could still feel their imprint as he walked over to the limo. I watched as he leaned down and whispered something to Tyler. He stepped back and the limo pulled away and he walked back to me. “Okay, where were we?”

“I don’t know.” I shook my head, feeling dazed. “Where did your friend go?”

“Home.” He nodded. “He wasn’t happy, but he does what I say.”

“Why wasn’t he happy?”

“Because he doesn’t like to leave me with strange women.”

“What strange women?” I said stupidly. “Me?”

“Yes you. He doesn’t know what plans you have for me.”

“He doesn’t know what plans I have for you?” My jaw dropped. “Say what?”

“Well, it’s not every day a bachelor gets dropped off at his bachelor party and is then seen leaving early with one of the strippers.” He grinned. “Or maybe it is.”

Chapter 33

“Say what?” My eyes widened as I stared at him and the smirk on his face. “You’re the bachelor?” I swallowed as I stared at him in shock. “As in you’re the guy getting married?”

“Well, yes and no.” He laughed and grabbed my hand.

“Don’t touch me.” I pulled my hand away from him, still in shock.

“This is my bachelor party, but I’m not getting married.”

“What?” I looked at him, feeling confused.

“I like to have these parties for fun. See who I can meet.”

“Who you can meet?” I frowned.

“Girls like you.”

“Girls like me?” I repeated. “What does that mean?”

“Girls who are down for some fun and to have a good time.”

“I’m not down for any fun, and I’m not having a good time.” I shook my head, feeling slightly let down. Was this something he did often?

“I never force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do.” He stared at me seriously and pulled a wad of cash from his pocket. “I have five grand here for you, and you can walk away.” He handed it to me. “Or you can be adventurous and make a lot more.”

“You mean have sex with you for cash?”

“No.” He shook his head.

“Then what?”

“You’ll have to trust me and wait and see.”

“I don’t know that I trust you.”

“Understandable.” He nodded, his arm still outstretched and the cash a mere inch from my fingers.

“How many times have you done this?” I asked him quietly, wondering why I was still standing there like some sort of fool.

“Once.” He nodded. “I’ve only done this once before.”

“You’ve only had one fake bachelor party before?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I’ve had many fake bachelor parties. I’ve only met one other woman at a party who I’ve wanted to come to an arrangement with.”

“And what happened?”

“That’s not important.” He shook his head. “So what do you say?”

“You can’t buy me.” I licked my lips. “Plus I don’t even know what I’m agreeing to.”

“You have to be patient.”

“I don’t even know your name.”

“Grant.”

“Like President Grant?”

“Like Grant Slate.” He stepped back. “My name is Grant Slate. I’m just a man wants to get to know you better.”

“Most men who want to get to know me better ask me if they can buy me a drink.”

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“They don’t offer me five grand a drink.”

“I’ll offer you fifty thousand dollars to spend one week with me.” He paused. “And the drink of your choice.”

“And you’re not expecting sex for fifty grand.”

“If we sleep together, it won’t be because of money.”

“I’m crazy to even be here right now.” I shook my head and looked down at the ground. “This is just crazy. I don’t even know you. You could be a serial killer.”

“I’m not.”

“Like you would say if you were.” I rolled my eyes and sighed. “I should go.”

“I’m not stopping you.” He took a step towards me and stared at my lips. “You have beautiful eyes, even with the mousy glasses on.”

“My glasses aren’t mousy.” I swallowed as he stepped towards me again.

“No, they themselves aren’t mousy. I should say you have beautiful eyes, even when you wear glasses that give you a mousy appearance.” He removed my glasses again and leaned down. “Very beautiful and vibrant. When you’re angry, they almost seem to be spitting darts of green fire at me.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t get so close. You don’t want to get burned,” I whispered as his lips came closer to mine.

“I don’t burn.” His blue eyes glittered as his lips met mine again. This time, he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into him as his lips started a war on mine. I felt his tongue slip inside my mouth and I capitulated easily, sucking on his tongue and enjoying the warm sensuality passing from him to me. It felt easy to surrender when it was with a man like Grant. Even his name was sexy. Grant Slate. Shit, I knew I was in trouble. I’d always been the smart girl. I’d never had casual flings or just fallen head over heels for anyone, yet  something about Grant infiltrated my senses and my brain. When he finally pulled away from me, my body felt like putty and my brain was fuzzy. I held onto his arms to steady myself.

“You can’t just kiss me,” I gasped finally, coming back to my senses.

“You didn’t seem too concerned just now.”

“That’s because you, you just, you just...” I sputtered out, not even sure what to say. “I think I need to leave.”

“Do you want to leave?” He ran his fingers through my hair. “Do you really want to leave? Or is a little voice inside telling you that you should leave?”

“Yeah, my common sense is telling me to get the hell out of Dodge.”

“Out of Dodge?”

“It’s slang.”

“I know the saying.”

“So why ask me what it means?”

“I wasn’t asking you what it means.”

“You’re difficult.”

“I’m difficult?” He smiled at me. “You’re difficult.”

“I should go.”

“With or without me?”

“I don’t even know what you want with me, so I’m going to have to say without.” I shrugged, and I could see the disappointment in my body reflected in his face. What did he care? He was handsome and obviously rich. He could have any girl he wanted.

“That’s a shame.”

“Why is it a shame?”

“I think we could have a lot of fun.”

“I don’t know what fun you’re talking about, Grant Slate.”

“Then why don’t you let me show you, Evie Peaches?”

“My name isn’t Evie Peaches.”

“Would you prefer me to call you Peaches and Cream?”

“Ug, no. That guy was gross.”

“Unlike me, right?”

“You’re not gross,” I said honestly, and sighed. In any other circumstance, I’d have been quite pleased to have met him. I’d be excited someone so good looking was into me, but this wasn’t a normal meeting or situation. No guy had ever offered me fifty grand for anything. Shit, no guy had even offered me a twenty. I’d been on dates where the guy had expected me to pay.

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“So I guess this is when I should get a cab.” I bit my lower lip.

“Unless you just come home with me.”

“I’m not a prostitute.” I shook my head.

“I already told you—”

“I know, I know. You don’t expect sex.” I nodded. “It just feels off.”

“What feels off?”

“What are you expecting for fifty grand?” I shrugged. “I mean, it could be everything but sex. It could even mean anal.” I shuddered.

“I think anal is considered sex.” He laughed. “Unless you disagree with that.”

“I’ve never had it.” I made a face.

“You don’t know what you’re missing.” He grinned.

“A whole bunch of pain is all I’m missing.”

“Come back to my place tonight, finish the dance, and tomorrow morning I’ll tell you what I want for the fifty grand.”

“I don’t know.” I shook my head, though a little voice in my head was screaming at me, ‘What do you have to lose, Evie? What’s a dance? Isn’t this the excitement you’ve always been craving?’

“Just for one night.” He smiled. “You can leave in the morning. I can call Tyler and he’ll pick us up. You can trust me. And you can trust Tyler. We won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I don’t know.” I shook my head. “I don’t know you or Tyler from Adam.”

“Tyler is my driver, and he’s an ex cop.”

“So?” I shook my head. “That means nothing to me. Tyler could be the ex-head of the CIA for all I know.”

“He was never in the CIA.” He shook his head.

“Why do you care so much if I come?”

“I just want to get to spend the night with you. I don’t care what we do. We can do as much as you want or as little as you want.”

“What will you be wearing when I dance?” I bit my lower lip. “I’m not doing a naked lap dance.”

“We can wear what we’re wearing now, if makes you more comfortable.”

“I just don’t understand why you want me to come.”

“I don’t understand many things. Doesn’t mean I don’t do them.”

“Okay.” I took a deep breath. “You can call Tyler. I’ll come over. One dance. And we can watch a movie or something. And then I leave.”

“That sounds like a plan.” He pulled out his phone. “You won’t regret it.”

* * *

“Why did I do this?” I muttered to myself as I stood in the bathroom of Grant’s bedroom. “Why did I agree to come with him?” I sighed as I pulled out my phone again. There was absolutely no signal in his house. I didn’t even really know where we were. Tyler had appeared ten seconds after Grant had pulled out his phone, and I’d been ushered into the back of the limo before I even knew what was happening.

“You okay?” I heard a knocking on the door, and I froze.

“Yeah, coming,” I called back, flushing the empty toilet. What had I been thinking?

“Hey.” Grant nodded at me from the edge of the bed where he sat.

“Hey.” I nodded at him and fiddled with my glasses.

“You can take your glasses off.” He nodded at me as I walked towards him.

“I won’t be able to see if I take them off.” I shook my head.

“That seemed to help loosen you up in the club.”

“I don’t need to loosen up.”

“Okay.” He shrugged and lay back on the bed. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

“Ready for what?” I stood still as I looked around the room. It was less masculine than I thought it would be, with the white bed sheets and cream walls. All the decorations seemed softer than I’d imagined someone like Grant Slate being into. His house was also huge. When we’d driven up the driveway, I’d been shocked at how big it was. When Tyler had opened the door for us and then disappeared, I’d been scared. Now, I was unsure and just a little excited. Fear was an aphrodisiac I’d never known existed.

“My dance.” I watched as he loosened his tie.

“On the bed?”

“Do you have a problem with that?”

“It’s hard to dance on the bed.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

“You have a nice house.”

“You didn’t come to talk about the house.”

“What do you want me to do for fifty grand?” I spat out and shivered as I walked towards the bed. Grant was lying there with the top two buttons of his shirt undone and a glossy look in his eyes.

“You can do whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want?” I stopped. “What if I don’t want to do anything?”

“Then you don’t have to.” He sat up slightly and waved me forward. “Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know.” I sighed, embarrassed to be slightly turned on by him. I didn’t even know him. He was a stranger, yet my body craved his touch.

“Too many people worry about what a society they don’t know will think of them before they do anything. Why are you arguing with your body? Why are you distrusting your base instincts?”

“You don’t know what my body is thinking.”

“I knew the moment you sat on my lap. I knew the second you agreed to come to my home.” He stepped off the bed and walked towards me, his fingers deftly undoing the rest of the buttons on his shirt. “I knew the moment you popped out of the cake.”

“What did you know?”

“I knew I wanted you.” He pulled his shirt off and dropped it on the floor. I stared at his chest in amazement. It was as perfectly sculpted as I’d expected it to be, but the scar running down the side of his chest surprised me.

“Where did you get that?” I pointed at the scar, and he ignored me. Instead of answering me, he turned away and walked to his closet. I watched as he pulled out a thick silver chain.

“What are you doing?” I gasped as he wrapped the chain around his chest and arm.

“I like the feeling of the metal against my skin. It reminds me of my strength.” He turned towards me as he pulled the metal along his body.

His muscles bulged with the strength of a hundred men as he gazed at me with soulless eyes. I swallowed as I stared at the thick steel chain slithering across his skin like a snake. There was something so sensual in the movement, and I couldn't move my eyes away from his chest.

“What are you going to do?” I whispered as he moved towards me like a panther tracking down its prey.

“Whatever you want me to do.”

“What if I don't want you to do anything?”

“Then we might have a problem.”

“Then we might have a problem,” I repeated as he stopped in front of me, his eyes never leaving mine as he continued moving the chain across his skin.

“Are you scared?”

“What do you think?” My eyes widened as my voice cracked. I took a deep breath. “I’m going to kill Hailey.”

“Who?” He frowned.

“My best friend. I was working for her.” I closed my eyes to avoid his intense gaze as my body shivered. “I would be at home watching TV right now if it weren’t for her.” My eyes popped open as his fingers touched my arm.

“What makes you so mad?” He said gently. “The fact that you took the job or the fact that you’re here?”

“The fact that I’m standing in front of a stranger with a big silver chain.” I gulped and licked my lips slowly.

“And does make you mad, or turned on?”

“What are you, a bloody professor or something? What’s with all the questions?”

“Why are you repressing your sexuality?”

“What?” My jaw dropped as I stared at him, my face heating up.

“Why can’t you celebrate being here with me? I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Let me just give you the lap dance and go.” I bit down on my lower lip. “You can keep the five grand. I think I might have given you the wrong impression of me.”

“Oh, why’s that?”

“I think you’re under the impression I want to be with you in a way I don’t.” I mumbled as I stared at his bulging biceps. Shit, he was so cut and built. I’d never seen a man as muscular and fit as him before. I wanted to reach out and touch his muscle to see if it was as rock hard as it looked.

“I see.” He took a step back. “That’s disappointing then.”

“I suppose.” I shrugged and turned away, feeling bereft and alone. Part of me wanted him to beg me to give him a chance. Part of me wanted him to stare at me with lust and desire so profound I wouldn’t be able to say no. Deep inside, I didn’t want to say no.

“Stop.” His voice was low and gentle, yet commanding and all-consuming, and my leg froze in midair. “Look at me.”

I turned towards him slowly, gazing at the look on his face. Gone was the laughing teasing man from the club. In front of me was a man so serious, so immobile, I wondered if he was the same person.

“The chains weren’t to scare you.” He pulled them off and dropped them on the ground. “I’m not going to use them on you.”

“I would think not.” I shuddered as I stared at the mass of steel on his cowhide rug.

“So this isn’t going down as I thought it would tonight.” His lips curled up in a small smile.

“What did you think was going to go down?” I asked curiously, and then my phone started ringing. I looked at him and then at my handbag and he nodded at me to answer it. I walked over to my bag and lifted it up quickly and pulled out my phone. “Hello.”

“Evie, where are you?” Hailey’s voice sounded anxious. “Starr and Crystal just called me. They said you just disappeared.”

“I didn’t mean to just leave.” I mumbled, feeling guilty and hoping I hadn’t jeopardized Hailey’s job. “I just had to get out of there.”

“Where are you? Why aren’t you at home? What happened?”

“I kinda met a guy.” I whispered quickly, hoping she wouldn’t really understand what I was saying.

“You what?” She screamed into the phone.

“Hailey.” I turned away from a grinning Grant. He seemed to be enjoying eavesdropping a bit too much. “I’ll tell you more when I get home.”

“Evie Johnson, you come home right now!” she shouted into the phone.

“I thought you were on a date?” I asked suspiciously.

“I am and he’s here, but I’ll send him packing when you get here.” She sighed. “You’re not meant to hook up with the guys. You don’t know them, Evie. He could be a psycho.”

“He’s not a psycho,” I whispered, hoping Grant couldn’t hear me. “I’ll come home as soon as possible.”

“Evie, tell me where you are and I’ll come and get you.” Hailey sounded worried, and I was about to turn around and ask Grant for his address when I felt his arms around my waist. I froze for a second and looked up at him. “Evie?” Hailey pleaded in my ear, and I was about to speak when Grant grabbed the phone from my hand and ended the call.

“What are you doing?” My jaw dropped as he threw the phone onto the bed.

“Something I should have done as soon as you came out of the bathroom.” He spun me around and kissed me hard, his lips crushing into mine with such vigor I fell into him. His hands crept up my back until his fingertips were pressing into my neck and the back of my head, pushing my face into his. I felt his tongue slip into my mouth as his fingers ran through my hair, tugging the strands almost painfully. I gasped against him as I felt his erection pressing into me, and my hands flew to his back. His skin felt cool and soft, and I ran my fingers down his back, excited by the magnetic power I felt between us.

“I lied to you earlier.” He pulled back and whispered in my ear.

“About what?” I mumbled as I held onto his shoulders, lust taking over my brain.

“About a dance being enough. I want more than a dance from you, Evie. I want so much more.” He growled and picked me up, carrying me effortlessly to the bed and dropping me before lying down next to me.

“What do you want?” I swallowed as his fingers trailed down my neck.

“I want all of you.” His eyes blazed with passion as his lips replaced his fingers. I closed my eyes as I felt his teeth sinking into my skin, sucking and biting at the same time. A small moan escaped my lips as I felt his hand on my breast. My mind was overcome with thoughts and emotions as my body sang out in sweet bliss. “Is that going to be okay?” He whispered again against my neck.

“Yes.” I nodded, not thinking about anything other than this moment. “Yes, it’s okay.”

“Good.” His voice grew hoarse. “That’s the answer I wanted to hear.”

Chapter 34

“I’m going to take your clothes off now.” His fingers played with my top as his eyes searched mine for permission. I nodded slightly and trembled at the feel of his fingers running across my body.

Grant’s chest grazed against mine as his fingers deftly removed my clothes. I lay on the bed gazing up at him, not quite believing this was happening. Last night I’d been sitting on my couch watching TV and wishing I had more of a life, and tonight I was in a strange man’s bed. This wasn’t me. This wasn’t what I did. However, I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t want to stop myself. This was exciting and dangerous, and Grant was the most handsome and sexual man I’d ever been with. Every pore of his body exuded sex. I trembled with a feeling of shame as I felt myself lying there almost naked. He’d removed every piece of clothing except for my panties.

“You’ll decide when you want to take them off,” he whispered before lowering his mouth to my breast and sucking on my nipple. I closed my eyes at his intimate gesture and cried out as his teeth tugged at the sensitive flesh.

“Open your eyes,” he growled as he transferred his mouth to my other breast. “I want you to watch who’s doing this to you.”

My eyes flew open at the demand in his voice, and he nodded his approval as my eyes found his. He lowered his lips onto my other breast and sucked gently as he continued staring at me.

“Do you like it when a man sucks your breasts, Evie?” He groaned as he kissed up my chest to my lips.

“It feels good.” I nodded, painfully aware I had to answer him if I wanted the night to continue.

“You tried to make me think you weren’t interested, but you wanted this all along, didn’t you?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I was attracted to you yes, but I’m not the sort of girl that…”

“Don’t tell me. You’re not the sort of girl who has one-night stands?”

“That’s right.” I nodded. “I don’t normally sleep around.”

“So what made me the exception?” he whispered against my lips, his breath warming me.

“I don’t know.” I shook my head slightly and ran my fingers down his back as his chest crashed down on my breasts. “Maybe I just couldn’t help myself.”

“Yes, perhaps that’s it.” He nodded before kissing me again, his fingers running up and down the side of me. I ran my fingers down his back and moaned slightly as he moved away from me and pulled off everything but his boxer shorts.

“I’m ready for that dance now,” he growled and moved to a chair at the side of his bed.

“What?” I frowned, feeling delirious and bereft at the loss of his touch.

“I want my dance.” He grinned at me and pressed something on his nightstand. All of a sudden, music started playing and the lights dimmed. I heard Nat King Cole’s Unforgettable playing, and I sat up slowly. I laughed at his choice of music. Most men would have gone with some sort of R&B or rock for a strip dance, not an older, much more sentimental song. The room was silent aside from the music as we both sat there. Grant’s gaze was full of desire and patience as I stared at him, not knowing what to do. I felt slightly self-conscious. Here I was sitting almost naked, and there he was looking hot and hard, waiting for me. A part of me wondered exactly how this had happened. Hadn’t this been what I’d been trying to avoid while taking over for Hailey for the night? I’d been worried a guy was going to expect more than a dance. Now here I was, willingly giving myself to a man I’d met at the party. The man who had been the bachelor at the party. What if he was lying? What if he really was getting married? Would that make me a slut and a home wrecker? I bit my lower lip, almost willing him to tell me to hurry up, but he said nothing as the song continued to play. We just sat there staring at each other. Then I remembered my last relationship. How boring and staid it had been. How my last boyfriend had been a five minute and no foreplay sort of guy. How he hadn’t cared about my needs and how I’d wished for a more adventurous mate. How I’d secretly always wanted the job Hailey had. How I’d wanted to explore my sexuality more. And now, here I was. I had ample opportunity to do something I’d never thought I’d ever do. I knew in that moment I was going to go through with it. I knew my body and brain both wanted this. I shivered in excitement as I realized I was about to have a one-night stand with the sexiest man I’d ever met in my life. A bell rang in my head for a few seconds as I wondered if that meant I was a whore? If he offered me the five grand or more, I was pretty sure I would take it, but not because I wanted the money for the sex, but more for the dance. A part of me wasn’t sure if there was a difference. A part of me wondered if I was just trying to make myself feel better. If I had sex with him and then accepted money, would that make me a prostitute? My body warmed at the thought as I bit down on my lower lip, deep in thought.

“A penny for them?” He asked softly, interrupting my internal debate.

“Sorry, what?” I looked up at him, my nipples hard as he stared at them.

“You look to be deep in thought. Maybe I can help?”

“I just…” I started and stopped. How could I explain my internal dilemma without ruining the mood? I really couldn’t. I shook my head and stood up. “I was just hoping you’d change the music?” I asked softly as I walked towards him with a small smile. “I’d like something I can move my hips to, not something I’d hear at the end of a romance movie.”

“Oh?” He grinned as I stopped in front of him.

“This isn’t exactly a romance movie.” I smiled awkwardly, staring down at his huge bulge.

“Depends on what you classify as romance.” He shrugged and tapped something on the table. All of a sudden, the music changed and I heard Usher’s melodic voice telling me I had it bad. I smiled at Grant again and started swaying my hips back and forth in front of him. His eyes darkened as he realized the dance had started once again. I turned around and positioned myself on his lap and started moving back and forth in beat to the music. A few seconds later, he grabbed me around the waist and adjusted my position on his lap so I was grinding directly on his hard cock. I felt my panties growing wet as his cock pressed into my pussy as if it were trying to break through the barriers. His hands circled my waist as I moved, guiding my hips back and forth as I danced on him. Then they moved up to my breasts, his fingers squeezing my nipples hard as he played with my breasts. I increased the intensity of my dance while I moved, and I moaned as I felt his cock against my panties. He had pulled it out without my noticing, and it was thick and hard between my legs. His breathing behind me was low and hard, and I could feel his chest was now hot against my back as he pulled me towards him and kissed the side of my neck.

His fingers slipped from my breasts and back down my stomach until they were slipping into my panties and he was rubbing my clit urgently. I knew he could feel my wetness against his fingers because I came slightly as he slipped a finger inside of me. I closed my eyes and focused on the pleasure soaring through my body and moved my hips even faster.

Grant lifted me up slightly, and I felt his fingers slipping my panties to the side as he lowered me down onto his cock. He entered me hard and fast, and I cried out as I found myself no longer dancing on his lap, but dancing with him inside of me. My body cried out in ecstasy at the feel of him—hard, masculine, taking—and I rocked on him urgently, needing to feel a full release. Grant grunted behind me as he continued rubbing my clit. Everything seemed so surreal as I continued to dance and fuck him at the same time.

“Cum for me, Evie,” he whispered in my ear as his fingers moved across my bud faster and his cock entered me even deeper. “I want to feel you explode all over me before I cum inside of you.”

“Ooh!” I screamed as I felt myself orgasming hard. He pushed me forward slightly, and I felt him exploding inside of me, warm and fast, and only after I collapsed back against him did I think about protection. Stupid! I groaned to myself inwardly. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I didn’t know this guy from anywhere. I’d have to go to a clinic and get STD tests and pregnancy tests now. I could feel the excitement seeping out of me quickly as I realized how dumb I’d been.

Grant lifted me up and carried me to the bed and got in after laying me down.

“I’m clean by the way.” He played with my hair as he kissed my shoulder.

“How did you know?” I mumbled, feeling stupid.

“Because I’m hoping for the same answer.” He bit down on my shoulder. “I should have used a condom. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” I shook my head. “I should have thought about it as well.” I moaned as his fingers found my breasts again.

“Yes, it’s not smart to do what you do and not carry condoms around with you.”

“Sorry, what?” I froze and looked at him in shock.

“I assume you’re on the pill or the patch for birth control?” He continued talking as he kissed my neck.

“What did you mean just now?” I whispered.

“What did I mean about what?”

“About me needing to carry condoms doing what I do.”

“Well, if you’re a stripper and in the habit of going home with men, you really should make sure you have protection on you.”

“I told you I’m not a stripper.” I turned towards him angrily. “I was just working there for my friend tonight.”

“Sure you were. And let me guess: you’re doing it to get through school, right? Or is it to take care of your sick parents?”

“What?” My jaw dropped. “You don’t believe me? You heard my friend call.”

“Evie, how many times has your friend called to find out where you were? Is it a part of the act?” He shrugged, his fingers reaching down between my legs as I pulled away abruptly. “We both know this is a game, so quit playing it.”

“I wasn’t playing a game.” I shook my head, utterly confused about what he was thinking.

“Okay then, I have one question for you. Are you still expecting to get money from me?” His voice was soft as he whispered in my ear, and I froze.

“Well, the five grand was what you promised,” I whispered, not even thinking, “but it was for the dance, not for anything else.” Even as I spoke, I knew how pitiful I sounded. Even I wouldn’t believe myself.

“Yeah, like I said, you should be more careful in your job, Evie.”

“I’ve never done this before.” I gathered the sheets around me. “I want to leave now.” I bit my lower lip and gazed into his eyes.

“But I’m not ready for you to leave.” His fingers caressed my shoulder. “Why do you want to leave?”

“Aside from the fact that you just called me a liar and a whore?”

“Forgive me, I can see I’ve upset you. Forget my words, I was obviously wrong.”

“Do you mean that?” I asked through narrowed eyes, softening up inside.

“Yes, I was wrong.” He nodded. “Please say the night isn’t over as yet.”

“What do you want to do?” I grinned, suddenly feeling better and horny again.

“First, let’s get something to eat and drink, and then we can have some more fun.”

“Eat?” I looked at him in surprise.

“Yes, eat.” He grinned at me. “You’ll need your energy for what I have planned next for you.”

Chapter 35

“You can wait in the living room while I go to the kitchen and make us something to eat.” Grant walked me down the corridor to a large room. “You can have a seat and watch some TV if you want.” He nodded at me and gave me a quick kiss. “My shirt suits you.” He winked as he undid the top button and stepped back. “Hmm, maybe one more.” His fingers grazed my breast as he undid another button and then grinned. “Yes, much better.” He licked his lips as he stared at me, practically naked aside from his shirt. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.” I nodded and walked into the living room. I could feel the shirt riding up as I walked, and I felt slightly uncomfortable in the room, practically naked.

“Late night?” A smooth voice made me jump as I walked to the couch.

“Yes.” I turned around and saw Tyler standing there wearing nothing but a pair of red gym shorts. His muscles bulged out at me as he stood there with a towel over his shoulder. His hair was cropped low, but appeared to be blond. His eyes, blue and dark, peered at me with a look of disappointment. “Can I help you?” I asked, feeling even more self-conscious, knowing the tops of my breasts were visible to him.

“No.” He grunted, staring at my long expanse of legs. His eyes narrowed as he surveyed my whole body. “You can’t tell me anything I don’t already know.”

“What does that mean?” I frowned and walked towards him, making sure to hold the front of the shirt down. What was up with the men in this house?

“You’re a smart girl.” He shrugged and took a step forward. “Or I’m guessing you think you’re smart.”

I didn’t answer him as he walked towards me, his blue eyes wary. He looked angry, and I wasn’t sure what his problem was. He reminded me of an action movie star. He wasn’t quite handsome, but he was so built that it added a dimension of sexiness to his overall look. I stared at his muscles and shivered. Tyler was a man who could stop you with one finger.

I turned away from him, feeling slightly confused. I didn’t understand why he was in the room with me, and I didn’t understand the electricity buzzing between us. I felt on edge, and all of a sudden, the only place I wanted to be was at home. I walked away from him quickly and headed towards the fireplace. There were a bunch of photographs on the mantelpiece, and I surveyed them quickly, wanting to distract myself.

“Who’s that?” I pointed at one of the photos.

Tyler frowned as he walked over to me and his eyes followed my finger.  “Don’t you worry about that.” He turned towards me. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Why not?” I asked him curiously. “How long have you worked for Grant?” I asked him, hoping to remind him he had better watch his step, as I was here with his boss.

“Long enough to know that if you were smart, you wouldn’t be here.” He shook his head. “You’re not special, you know.” His fingers grabbed ahold of my shirt sleeve.

“I know.” I nodded, feeling hurt and pulling away from him. “I know I’m not the first girl he’s picked up.”

“You’re not.”

“So what happened with the last girl?” I asked curiously, ignoring his annoyed face.

“You don’t want to know.” He said dramatically.

“Oh?” I froze and stared at him. “Why not?”

He looked back at me for a few seconds and then we heard footsteps coming towards us. “I told you girl, you shouldn’t be here.” He shook his head and stepped away from me. “I tried to warn Eugenie, but she didn’t listen.”

“Who’s Eugenie?” I frowned, but then the door opened.

“Here are the drinks.” Grant beamed at me as he walked towards me with a glass. Then he noticed Tyler in the corner of the room. “You’re up?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “I was in the gym. I came in to say hi.”

“I trust you and Tyler have gotten on well.” Grant surveyed my face curiously, and I could feel an odd tension in the room.

“Yeah.” I nodded. “He’s a nice guy.” I smiled weakly.

Tyler grunted at my response. I looked over at him, and I could see disappointment in his eyes once again. “I’m heading in, Mr. Slate. Do you need anything else?”

“We’re good for the night.” Grant shook his head. “Thanks, Tyler.”

Tyler nodded and then looked at me for a second before exiting the room and pulling the door shut. All of a sudden, the room felt smaller, warmer, darker, and more dangerous. For a second, I thought about trying to call Tyler back into the room, but I knew I couldn’t. His disappointed blue eyes flashed through my mind as I stared at the door, and I wondered why he’d given me that look.

“You seem to trust Tyler a lot,” I said to Grant casually, staring at his perfect body and handsome face.

“I know Tyler has my back.” Grant nodded as he handed me the small glass. “I’ve got a grilled cheese coming as well. I hope you like them.”

“I love grilled cheese sandwiches.” I nodded, my stomach churning at the thought of eating food.

“I thought you would.” He nodded and watched me as I sipped the whiskey he’d given me. My throat and stomach burned as I consumed the alcohol, and I felt a feeling of trepidation as he stepped towards me. “You’re a very beautiful girl, Evie.”

“Thank you.” I licked my lips slowly as he gazed at me appreciatively.

“I’m lucky you chose to spend the night with me.” He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. I felt his hardness against my stomach and swallowed hard. “It’s not often I meet a girl like you.” He kissed the tip of my nose and I felt his hands cupping my breasts.

“It’s not often I meet a guy like you,” I answered honestly, thinking about my very ordinary life. I leaned up and kissed him on the lips, and his eyes widened in appreciation as he kissed me back softly. His tongue sought entrance into my mouth, and I sucked on it eagerly, enjoying the taste of him more than the whiskey I’d recently consumed.

“So what were you and Tyler talking about?” he asked me softly as he pulled away from me.

“Not much.” I shook my head and gasped as he lifted the back of my shirt up and caressed my ass. I wasn’t sure why I’d lied. I wanted to ask him who Eugenie was and what had happened to her. I wanted to ask him why he was so trusting of Tyler, yet Tyler was warning me to stay away from him, but I didn’t. Something in me told me to keep my mouth shut.

“I want to make love to you again,” he whispered as he bit down on my neck, sucking hard. “I want to fuck you on the couch.”

“What about the grilled cheese sandwich?” I asked softly as he pulled my hand to his hard cock. I squeezed it gently and he grunted.

“Fuck the grilled cheese sandwich.” He pulled me towards the edge of the couch and then pushed me forward over the arm. My ass dangled up in the air and I could feel the cool air caressing me as he slid up behind me. I felt him pull his cock out, and I immediately grew wet as he placed the tip up next to me and rubbed me gently. “Or are you hungry?” He slipped the tip of his cock inside of me and paused. “Would you rather eat first?”

I moved my hips in response, and he growled as he entered me slowly.

Knock Knock.

We froze at the knock on the door, and Grant pulled out of me and pulled me up.

“Yes?” he called out, annoyed as we turned around.

“There’s something burning in the kitchen, Sir.” Tyler walked into the room and stared at us. I could feel my face burning as he looked at us with an emotionless face. My pussy was still quivering from the feel of Grant inside of me. I bit down on my lower lip as I realized I’d forgotten to mention the condom again. I stared at Tyler’s face, and I could see he was judging me. I wanted to walk over to him and punch the superior look off him.

“Oh shit,” Grant sighed and then looked at me. “I guess we will eat first. I’ll be back.” He strode out of the room and then paused at the door. “Are you coming, Tyler?”

“In a minute, Sir.” Tyler continued staring at me, and I looked at Grant’s face. He looked upset and annoyed, but he didn’t say anything else as he walked away from the room. What was going on here?

“Didn’t you hear me?” Tyler asked softly as he walked towards me.

“Hear you what?” I mumbled as I stared at his murderous blue eyes.

“I told you, this isn’t a position you want to be in,” he growled at me. “Are you stupid?”

“Don’t talk to me like that!” I said angrily. “You don’t have any right to judge me.”

“I’m not judging you.”

“You can’t tell me you’ve never had a one-night stand before.” I pointed at his naked chest. “But I suppose because I’m a woman, I can’t have one and be okay with it.”

“This isn’t one night.” His eyes bore into mine, and he grabbed my shirt, pulling me towards him, the edges of his hands pressing down on my breasts.

“What are you talking about?” I frowned and swallowed as I looked up into his bottomless eyes. I stared at his lips and swallowed hard. What was wrong with me? Was I seriously attracted to Tyler as well?

“You’re playing with fire.” He stared down at me, and his gaze fell to my lips.

“What?” I licked my lips quickly.

“Stop giving me ‘I-want-you-to-fuck-me’ eyes,” He growled, and I pulled away from him abruptly.

“What are you talking about?”  I shouted. “Are you out of your mind?”

“Oh sorry, maybe they were just ‘I-want-you-to-kiss-me’ eyes.” He laughed and shook his head. “Better?”

“I think you should leave.” I stepped back towards the fireplace. “I’ll tell Grant you came on to me.”

“I’m not coming on to you.” He shook his head. “I’m warning you. The big bad wolf is on your doorstep.”

“Then I suggest you leave please.” I squared my shoulders. “If you leave now, I won’t tell Grant what you did.”

“What I did?” He laughed. “I’m not the big bad wolf, Evie.” He shook his head as he walked towards me. He lifted up my shirt slowly and he gazed at my naked body underneath and dropped it. “Though I have a feeling you’ve already let the wolf in, haven’t you? You let him have his first meal, and now he’s ready to dine all night.”

“Get away from me.” I slapped him across the face. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I have no idea.” He pursed his lips and stepped back. “Obviously, I have no idea.”

“You should leave now.” I bit my lower lip, a headache starting to hit me.

“I don’t know what game you think you’re playing, Evie. I don’t know if you’re a stripper pretending to be an innocent or if your story about helping a friend out is true. All I can say is I think you’re in over your head.” He nodded his head at me. “And now, I’ll leave. Have a good night.”

“Where are you going?” I asked him softly, remembering Grant and the chains in his room. Maybe Tyler being around wasn’t so bad. Maybe I’d made a mistake with Grant. There was something about Grant that scared me, even though he’d been a fantastic lover.

“To bed.” He stared at my legs and then back up to my face. “Alone,” he said slowly, and I gasped.

“You’re a pig.” I shivered. “I don’t want to go to bed with you.”

“Huh?” He smiled and winked at me. “All I said was I’m going to bed alone.”

“I know. I just...” My voice trailed off as I realized I’d made an assumption that could very well be wrong. “Have a good night.” I gave him a weak smile and walked over to the couch. What was wrong with me? I’d come home with one guy, had actually already slept with him, but was now thinking about another guy. A jackass of a guy.

“You too, Evie. Have a good night.” He paused at the door as he walked out. “Try not to think about me later.” He closed the door behind him before I could say anything to him.

“Ass,” I whispered into the empty room as I stood up and walked back over to the fireplace and looked at the photo of Eugenie. Who was this girl? I studied her photo and sighed. She looked young, maybe about nineteen or twenty. She had a huge smile and big blue eyes. Her hair was long and blonde. She was beautiful. Really beautiful. And she was smiling up at the camera with loving eyes. Who was she? And who was taking the photograph?

“What are you doing?” Grant walked into the living room. I spun around, feeling guilty as if I’d been caught doing something I shouldn’t be doing.

“Uh, nothing.” I shook my head and walked towards the couch. “Did you make the sandwiches?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I don’t know why Tyler didn’t just take the pan off the stove.” He made a face, his handsome features contorting. “Sometimes I think I should fire him.”

“Why don’t you?” I took a sandwich and nibbled on it.

“He’s like family.” He shrugged. “You don’t fire family.”

“Yeah.” I nodded as I chewed on the sandwich.

“Now, where were you?” He grinned and pulled me towards him. “Let’s eat and then make love again.”

“I’m feeling tired,” I lied as I felt his fingers reaching down to cup my ass cheeks.

“I think I can wake you up again,” he said lightly, but his fingers dug into my skin a little bit rougher than previously. “We want to make the most of the night, don’t we?” His fingers slipped between my legs, and I shuddered as a finger slipped inside of me. “Don’t we, Evie?” he growled into my ear as another finger slipped inside of me.

“Yes,” I moaned, dropping my sandwich and falling against him. The pleasure coursing through my body made me forget everything. How could he make me forget my worries so quickly? I cried out as a third finger entered me and he moved his fingers quickly in and out of me. “Ooh,” I cried out and bit into his chest. He growled down at me in pleasure at my touch.

“I knew you were a bad girl.” He pulled his fingers out of me and pushed my body over the edge of the couch again. I waited to feel him inside of me again, but instead I felt his hand slap my bottom.

“What are you doing?” I gasped and looked at him as he slapped me again.

“Shh.” He shook his head and grabbed my hips. He smacked me one more time, a little harder this time, and I was about to pull away from him when I felt the head of his cock at my opening again. “Shh,” he growled again as he pushed his hardness inside of me. “Doesn’t this feel good?” He reached under and grabbed my breasts as he started to fuck me slowly.

“Yes,” I moaned as my body responded to his movements. I cried out as he reached up and pulled my hair, turning my face to the right. I shuddered as I felt him filling me up and bringing me close to orgasm already. I felt my body quivering, and for a second I froze as I looked at the mantelpiece again and saw the photo of Eugenie watching us. I bit down on my lower lip as I realized I had absolutely no idea what I had gotten myself into. What had started as a favor to Hailey had taken a crazy turn, and I wasn’t even sure how one night could have already changed my life so much.

Chapter 36

I woke up before Grant did the next morning. My body felt stiff and sore from our lovemaking. I groaned as I opened my eyes and thought about all the sex we’d had. A feeling of shame and embarrassment swept through me as I realized I’d just had my first one-night stand with a complete and utter stranger. A stranger I’d met as a stripper. Yeah, I wasn’t really a stripper, but I’d been acting as a stripper for the night.

“Morning, Evie.” Grant kissed my shoulder when he woke up, and I turned to face him. I wasn’t sure what the protocol was the morning after a one night stand.

“Morning.” I smiled at him and gazed into his brilliant emerald green eyes. He looked even more handsome in the light of the morning.

“I take it you slept well?” His fingers played in my belly button, and I squirmed on the bed next to him.

“I did.” I nodded.

“I guess you’re wondering when you’re going to get your money?” His fingers slipped lower and gently slipped between my legs.

“No.” I closed my legs and frowned. The talk about money first thing definitely made me feel like a prostitute. “I wasn’t thinking about that at all.”

“Open your legs.” He nibbled on my earlobe.

“No.” I shook my head and pouted, feeling upset because he thought he could just talk to me as he wanted to and still have me.

“You know you want to,” he whispered in my ear, his tongue licking me.

“Does Tyler live with you?” I changed the subject and turned over to face him more directly.

His hand left the spot between my legs and he stilled. “Yes, of course.”

“So he’s a live-in chauffeur?”

“Something like that.” His eyes narrowed. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason.” I shook my head and moaned as he pinched my nipples. “I should get going soon.” I gasped as he bent down to suck on my left nipple.

“Were you attracted to Tyler?” He asked me softly as his teeth nibbled and tugged on my nipple. I shook my head slightly as Tyler’s face entered my mind. For one brief second I imagined it was him in the bed with me.

“No, of course not.” I pulled away from Grant, my face reddening in shame. What was wrong with me?

“He’s a handsome guy.” He shrugged. “Very, very built. Like a wrestler almost.”

“You’re as built as any wrestler I’ve seen on TV.” I lightly touched his arm and he smiled.

“Not as much as him.” He smiled and stretched, his chest muscles rippling before me. “Anyway, we have muscles for different reasons.”

“Oh?” I asked him lightly, wondering what those reasons were.

“Yes.” He jumped out of the bed and lifted up the chain from the floor and wrapped it around his arms again. “We have different ideas of fun.”

“Oh?” My heart stopped for a second as I stared at his naked body in front of me. All he had covering his body was the thick steel chain. His cock was hard and standing at attention. I could feel my body trembling as I gazed at it. It looked thick and hard, and all I could think about was how it had filled me up the night before.

“I like to go out and meet girls, show them a good time.” He shrugged as he looked at me. “He doesn’t always approve.”

“I guess that’s not his business, is it?” I murmured, thinking of the warnings Tyler had given me. “You’re an adult and can do what you want.”

“Exactly.” He smiled and dropped the chain on the bed, near my feet. “I’m glad you agree. Some people look at me and think...” He paused as he got onto the bed next to me. “It doesn’t matter what they think.” He smiled and kissed me lightly.

“Who’s Eugenie?” I asked him softly, not able to stop myself from asking the question I’d been thinking about all night.

“What?” He froze, his eyes growing cold as he looked at me.

“I saw the photo yesterday in the living room. Tyler says her name’s Eugenie. She’s very beautiful.”

“He shouldn’t have said anything to you.” Grant’s fists clenched as he gazed down at me with unseeing eyes.

“Sorry, I didn’t know.”

“Thinking about her makes me feel like I’m dead.”

“I’m sorry.” I bit my lower lip as my brain screamed at me for bringing her up.

“You will never know what I have lost. I cannot breathe without her. I cannot think without her. I cannot be without her.”

“But you’re still here.” I murmured lightly. “You’re still alive.”

“I go through the motions.” He shrugged. “I do not know if that is life.”

“You’re still alive though.”

“I am.” He nodded, his eyes sad. “Yes, I am.”

“Did you love her very much?” I asked softly, really wanting to know what had happened.

“Yes.” He said simply.

“What happened?”

“She left me.” His expression changed. “Enough of this. I don’t want to ruin our time talking about my past.”

“I understand.” I smiled weakly. “Though I think I want to leave now. Will you call Tyler and ask him to give me a ride?” I tried to keep my voice calm. “I have some errands to run.”

“I can’t do that.” He shook his head.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m afraid I can’t let you leave.” He stepped back from me and shook his head again.

“What?” My jaw dropped as I looked at him uncertainly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you will not be walking out of the front door today.”

“You can’t just stop me.” I sat up and tried to see if he was joking.

He gave me a short smile. “I can and I will. You need my help.”

“What?” I frowned. “I don’t need your help. What the fuck are you talking about?” I could feel the blood draining from my face. “I want to leave now.”

“Denial is not a good thing, Evie, if your real name is Evie.”

“What?” My jaw dropped as I stared at him, my heart beating fast. “What are you talking about?”

“Your body was so open to me last night. Did you enjoy making love?” Grant’s smile was as handsome as ever, but now I saw behind the facade. The look in his eyes was hollow as he gazed at my body, and I wondered what was going on.

“We had a fun night, yes.” I nodded and pulled the sheets up around me. Asking him about Eugenie had been a mistake. Coming here had been a mistake. Now I was beginning to understand why I’d never had a one-night stand before. I closed my eyes for a few seconds to try and gather my thoughts. Then it hit me. I’d call a cab. I didn’t care how much it cost. I just needed to get out of here. I grabbed the sheet and pulled it around my body as I jumped out of the bed.

“What are you doing?” He frowned as I walked over to my bag and took my phone out.

“I’m going to call a cab. If Tyler is busy today, I don’t want to disturb him.”  I offered him a weak smile and opened my phone quickly.

“No, Evie. You’re not calling a cab.” He shook his head. “I just told you, you’re not leaving.”

“You want me to stay another night? I didn’t realize I was that good.” I joked, hoping this wasn’t turning into a nightmare situation. This was just my luck. The one time I decided to be a bad girl, I got caught up in some crazy situation.

“We’ll talk later.” He shook his head. “Go and shower and get dressed.” He walked to his closet. “Here’s a pair of shorts and a top you can wear. They should fit you. No need to put on any underwear. I don’t think the clothes will be on very long.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I shook my head as he handed me the clothes. “I’m sure you have plans today, and so do I.”

“Don’t you want to stay, Evie? Don’t you want to make the five grand?”

“You know what, it’s fine.” I mumbled. “I’d feel bad taking the money now,” I lied. I still wanted the five grand, but I wasn’t about to say that now. Not when he was starting to act like a psycho. I knew it was smarter for me to just leave and forget the money. I’d chalk it up to a lesson learned and kill Hailey when I got in. I was never going to do her any favors again.

“Don’t lie to me, Evie.” He shook his head. “I know you want the money.” He laughed.

“Last night was about more than money.” I watched as he took his hardness into his hands and started rubbing his cock.

“Take your sheet off.” His eyes glazed over as he stared at me. “You’re just so sexy.”

“What are you doing?” I could feel my body starting to warm like it was starting to anticipate sex. I was annoyed at myself for feeling turned on by this man when my brain was still trying to figure out if he was crazy.

“Something I’d rather you be doing.” He walked towards me. “With your mouth.” He grinned as he stopped in front of me. “Will you pleasure me with your mouth, Evie?”

“I don’t—” I had started, when we heard a knock on the door.

“Yes?” Grant sounded annoyed as Tyler walked into the room. “Can we help you?”

“I wasn’t sure if you got my text, Sir. You have a very important call in the study.” Tyler’s voice was monotone, and he stood there for a few seconds staring at me before looking at Grant again. “Shall I tell them you’re too busy?”

“No.” Grant shook his head. “It’s fine.” His hand dropped from his cock and he walked over to his closet, pulled out a robe, and walked out of the room without saying anything to me. I stood there awkwardly staring at Tyler, who didn’t appear to be shocked at all that his boss had been standing in front of him naked.

“Are you okay?” He looked at me with clouded eyes, and I wasn’t sure if he felt sorry for me or he thought I was an idiot.

“Do you think you can give me a ride home?” I asked him hopefully. “I’ll be ready in a minute. Just need to put my clothes on.”

“No.” He shook his head. “I only take my orders from Grant.”

“Please,” I pleaded with him. “I just want to go home now.”

“Long night?” He tilted his head and looked at the rumpled sheets.

“That’s none of your business.” My body flushed as I gazed at him, lecturing myself internally. You are not attracted to this man.

“No, it’s not.” He nodded his head in agreement.

“I asked him about Eugenie.” I bit my lower lip, and Tyler’s face looked worried. “He was upset. I guess she broke his heart.”

“Yes, she did.” He looked at me with narrowed eyes.

“I guess they were truly in love.” I continued. “Maybe they’ll get back together one day?”

“Highly unlikely.” He shook his head and walked back towards the door to leave.

“Why?” I asked quickly, not wanting him to go.

“Eugenie’s dead.” He looked at me directly in the eyes and sighed. “So unless there’s a way to come back from the grave, I don’t think he’ll ever be seeing her again.”

“What happened to her?” I gasped and ran to him, my heart beating fast. Why oh why did I take that job last night?

“Like I said last night, you don’t want to know.”

“Please.” I grabbed his shirt, and he froze before pushing me back into the wall. He grabbed my hands and pushed them back and pushed his body against mine so I couldn’t move.

“You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into, Evie Johnson. You have no idea at all.” He whispered the words against my lips, and his blue eyes flashed at me as he stared down at my scared face. “There’s no one here to save you.”

“What about you?” I whispered, my breathing heavy as I licked my lips nervously.

“I might be even worse than the monster you’re already with.” His tongue lightly licked my lips as he spoke in a deep tone, pressing himself into me harder. “You should have listened to me last night. This might be one game with two wolves. The question is, are you ready to play with both of us?”

Chapter 37

“Touch me, tease me, and never leave me.

Kiss me, lick me, I won’t think you’re easy.

Fuck me, blow me, and close your eyes.

I’m going to take you on the ride of your life.”

“Don’t touch me.” I pushed Tyler away from me as hard as I could. He stepped back and stared down at me with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Such a strong push for a girl so...” His voice trailed off, and I stared into his eyes, searching for some sort of glimmer. All I wanted from him was the truth about Grant.

“Why won’t Grant let me leave?”

“Why do you want to leave?” He stared at me disdainfully. “Didn’t you enjoy his lovemaking?”

“You’re so rude.” I shook my head, my face afire with embarrassment. Was he calling me out for sleeping with Grant? Was he insinuating I was a slut? “It’s none of your business.”

“I didn’t say it was.” He shrugged. “I should leave.”

“Where are you going?” My voice dropped. I didn’t want him to leave me by myself. Even if I wasn’t sure I could trust him either.

“Out.”

“Out? Now?” I grabbed ahold of him. “Take me with you.”

“You want to run away from Grant?” He paused and leaned in towards me, his tongue trailing down my cheek for a few seconds. “Or do you just want to be with me?”

“What are you talking about?” I gasped and stepped back, my cheek hot with fire from his touch. “I just want to go home.”

“Do you know the story of Little Red Riding Hood?” he asked softly, his eyes intense on me. I could feel the heat of his body close to mine and I swallowed hard, feeling confused and slightly turned on. What was going on here?

“Doesn’t everyone?” I rolled my eyes and shivered involuntarily.

“What was the lesson you learned from Little Red Riding Hood?” His eyes never left my face and my body started to tremble at the intenseness of his gaze.

“I don’t know. ‘Don’t trust people pretending to be your grandma with hairy faces’?” I tried to crack a joke to lighten the mood, but he didn’t crack a smile.

“No, the lesson to be learned is that Little Red Riding Hood should have been smarter before she even reached the house. She should have realized that anything could be waiting for her inside.”

“But she got the better of the wolf in the end.” I licked my lips. “Also, it was her fault. She couldn’t have known the wolf was a psycho.”

“What wolf is not?” He stared at me for a few seconds, and I could see him studying my face carefully. “Why did you come back here with him?”

“You don’t want to know.” I bit my lower lip, feeling ashamed. All of a sudden I just wanted to run away. This was why I didn’t like to leave the house and get myself into unknown situations. Shit like this always ended up happening to me. Granted, nothing this crazy had ever happened to me before, but damn.

“I do want to know.” He stared at the rumpled sheets and then back at me. “I very much want to know.”

“What’s going on?” Grant opened the door then and walked into the room, looking at Tyler and me with narrowed eyes.

“We were just talking.” Tyler said smoothly. “Do you have a problem with that?” There was a tenseness in his voice that surprised me. It was almost like he was calling Grant out or challenging him.

“Why would I have a problem with that?” Grant looked annoyed and stared at Tyler, who was staring back at him defiantly. I stared at the two men in front of me and swallowed hard. There was Grant looking so handsome and virile. His dark hair shadowed his face, and his eyes were intense and possessive as he gazed at me. Then I looked at Tyler, so strong and buff, his blue eyes light as they gazed at me with questions. I shivered as I stared at his arms, so strong and muscular. Tyler licked his lips slowly and grinned a devilish, captivating, and spine-chilling grin.

“So Evie.” He said softly as he took a step towards me. “What do you say?”

“Say to what?” My heart beat faster as he looked me over from head to toe. What was he asking me? What was going on here? Was this some sick sort of game?

“What do you say to the two big bad wolves that are both ready to eat you up?” he whispered into my ear.

“What?” My jaw dropped as I stared at him. Was he saying what I thought he was saying?

“Are you ready to be breakfast?” His husky tone dropped and I felt his hand on my lower back. “Or would you rather be lunch?”

“What?” I repeated, my stomach churning. Was he propositioning me for a threesome?

“Nothing.” He laughed and looked back at Grant. “The call go okay?”

“Yes.” Grant nodded and his eyes narrowed. “Anything else?”

“No, that was it.” Tyler smiled and walked out of the room without looking back. I wanted to call out to him to come back to me, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to make Grant suspicious. And I also wasn’t sure why I felt safer with Tyler either.

I stood there staring at the door, wondering about our exchange. Grant and I stood there in silence, and when I finally looked at him, he frowned.

“What was that about?” His lips thinned as he surveyed my body. “You seem to be awfully close with Tyler.”

“We were just talking.”

“Talking about what?” He took a step towards me.

“Fairy tales.” I said softly, and laughed almost hysterically at my words. Fairy tales? I wanted to slap myself to see if this was real. Was this just a bad daydream I’d found myself in?

“Fairy tales.” He looked smug. “Am I your Prince Charming then?” He cocked his head. “Or your knight in shining armor?”

“Neither.” I bit my lower lip. “You haven’t rescued me. You won’t even let me go.”

“What do you call the five grand I gave you?”

“You haven’t given me anything, and I don’t want it.” I shook my head. “I just want to go home.”

“Oh, Evie. Why do you want to leave so soon?” He walked forward and ran his fingers down my shoulder. “Didn’t you have a good time last night?”

“Last night was fun, but that’s not who I am. I don’t sleep with strange men.”

“You slept with me.” He leaned forward and sucked on my lower lip. “And I think you enjoyed it. Very much.”

“I...” I paused, unable to lie as my body responded to his touch.

“Do you want to go back to bed?” His tongue licked my lower lip.

“Why?”

“I’m hungry.”

“What?” I froze. “Hungry?” What was with that word? I looked towards the door slowly. Was this a test? Was Tyler about to come back into the room? Were they about to ask me if I wanted a threesome? My face burned as I realized that while I was horrified at the idea, I wasn’t totally against it. A part of me tingled at the anticipation. What would it be like to be with two men? And what did that mean about me? All my life I’d been the good girl. The one boyfriend at a time girl. The no casual sex girl. The only hooking up after three dates girl. Now here I was, and it all meant nothing. I’d had my first one night stand, and it had been amazing. The only part that felt bad was my guilt, but I knew it was all on me. It was my inner Catholic school girl shouting at me, telling me I’d done a bad, bad thing. I didn’t want to think I’d done a bad thing, but I knew I was in some sort of purgatory in my thoughts.

“For your body.” Grant said slowly and then looked at the door. “Are you waiting for something?”

“No, no, of course not. Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “You just seem preoccupied.”

“I just, I don’t know. You’re acting crazy, and I’m wondering if I’m going to be stuck here forever like Sleeping Beauty or Rapunzel.”

“Rapunzel?”

“You know. The girl who was locked in the tower and had to climb down her hair?” My voice trailed off. What was I talking about? I was talking nonsense. Even I knew that.

“No I don’t know her.” He grinned. “I don’t have a tower here, but I’ll see what I can do.” He winked at me and pulled me towards him. “I can climb down your...”

Knock Knock.

“Yes?” Grant’s voice was annoyed as we both turned towards the door.

“I need to talk to you.” Tyler’s voice was stiff, and he didn’t look at me as he stepped into the room again.

I tried to avoid looking at him. I wasn’t sure why my heart was beating so fast again. There was something about Tyler I couldn’t resist, and I didn’t know why. It confused me inside. And I was confused and worried enough as it was. I desperately wanted to get out of this house, but for some reason Grant didn’t want to let me go. The panic in my head was screaming at me for being so calm. The adrenaline in my veins was telling me to make a run for it. Every fiber of my being was trying to convince me there was something majorly off in this situation, but I just couldn’t seem to step away. A part of me, a part of me I didn’t know existed, was captivated by the two men I was with. I was caught up in some sort of spell. A part of me liked the hint of danger I felt. It was a part of me I wanted to shake out of me, but I couldn’t.

“What do you want?” Grant’s voice was frustrated as he looked at me for a brief second. There was unabashed lust in his eyes, and my body cried out in remembrance of the previous night.

“We have a problem.” Tyler pursed his lips. “We need to talk. Now.”

“Fine.” Grant let out a huge sigh. “I’ll be back.”

“Go and have a shower, Evie.” Tyler said to me softly.

“What?” I stared at him in confusion.

“Go and have a shower and get dressed,” he ordered me as Grant walked out of the room.

“Who do you think you are?” I said softly, not getting why he thought he could boss me around.

“I don’t think, I know.” He took a step towards me. “If you know what’s good for you, you will go and have a shower and put some clothes on.”

“Why?”

“Because that way, you don’t have to sleep with Grant again.”

“What?” My voice rose.

“Everything okay?” Grant looked back into the room. “What’s going on?”

“Evie’s just telling me what she wants for breakfast.” Tyler didn’t even look back at Grant. “Go down to the study and I’ll meet you there.” He looked back at me for a few seconds, and I could feel my chest rising quickly as I stared at his face. In this moment, I could see the ex-cop in him.

“Why did you leave the police force?” I asked him softly, wanting to get inside of his head.

“What?” He frowned.

“Was it because you didn’t like having to take orders?” I rolled my eyes. “You seem to think you can just boss everyone around. I’m surprised Grant lets you talk to him like that. You seem so insubordinate.”

“You think so?” He grinned at me. It wasn’t the response I’d been expecting to receive. His grin surprised me and delighted something in my soul. He was truly in a state of delight at my comments. His eyes were light and almost jumping at me. The smile on his face took me aback. It took him from a serious, hard man to an even more sexy and humorous figure. Why did he have to be so sexy?

“If you were my employee, you’d be fired for the way you talk to me.”

“It’s a good thing I’m not your employee then.”

“I hope Grant doesn’t fire you in the study.” I gave him a wide smile, showing him I meant the opposite of what I said.

“I don’t think I have to worry about that.” He laughed and ran a finger down my cheek. “If he fired me, I wouldn’t be able to do this.”

“You shouldn’t be doing it anyway.” I gasped as we stood there staring at each other. “You shouldn’t be touching me.”

“Why not?”

“Tyler, I’m here with your boss!” I pursed my lips and stepped back. “You’re being highly inappropriate.”

“I am?”

“You shouldn’t be touching me or propositioning me.”

“I’ve propositioned you?”

“You want to sleep with me!”

“What’s wrong with that?” He winked at me and licked his lips. I couldn’t stop myself from watching his pink tongue as it moved back and forth. I wondered what it would feel like on me.

“I’m not a toy.”

“Do you not want to be with me?”

“I’m not that sort of girl. I don’t go from bed to bed.” I could feel my face heating up. “Imagine if Grant heard you.”

“I don’t care if he hears me.” His eyes narrowed, and the smile left his face. “What you did last night was stupid. You know that, right?”

“I don’t need you lecturing me.”

“Why not? Because you have a super huge brain that you obviously haven’t been using?”

“Excuse me?” I gasped and reached forward to push him away from me. “You’re a jerk. What I do or don’t do is none of your business.” My hand connected with his chest, and he grabbed it and pulled me towards him.

“You have no idea, Evie. You have absolutely no idea.”

“What do you want from me? Is this some sort of game you’re both playing with me?”

“I don’t play games.” His lips came towards mine. “Let me kiss you.”

“No.” I swallowed and whispered back, my lips a mere inch from his. “You can’t.”

“I can.” He pressed his lips against mine lightly. I felt a sliver of electricity pass from me as his moist lips caressed me. “I can and I will.”

“How did Eugenie die?” I whispered against his lips as he pulled back. All of a sudden, all I could think about was the girl on the mantelpiece. My body was throbbing. My brain was fuzzy. My skin was on fire. And my heart was thudding. I stared at him and waited for his answer. I wasn’t sure why I’d brought her up as opposed to telling him off for kissing me. Maybe because my lips were still tingling from his touch.

“It’s a long story.” He paused, his features darkening.

“I’ve got time.”

“It started the way your story started...” His voice trailed off, and his eyes darkened, turning from blue to black.

“What do you mean?”

“She went to a club to make a little money.” He shrugged. “She fell into the hole.”

“What hole?”

“The hole of depravity and sex.” He sighed. “Do you know how the tale of Little Red Riding Hood ends?”

“She’s saved from the wolf.” I said slowly, my heart racing. “The woodsman comes and saves her.”

“No.” He shook his head, his eyes sad. “That’s the rewritten version. In the original version, the French version written by Charles Perrault, Little Red Riding Hood is tricked by the wolf, and she ends up being eaten. There is no one there to save her. At the end of the real story, all that is left is a fat wolf.”

“What are you trying to say?” I frowned. “What happened to Eugenie? Did Grant do something to her?”

“If I were to tell you, then I wouldn’t be a good employee, would I?” He nodded his head slowly. “And I’m already close to getting fired, as you so delicately pointed out.” He stepped back and walked to the door. “Go in the shower, Evie. Shower and get dressed.” He walked out of the room briskly, and I stood there in shock, my body shaking in fear. This was not a joke anymore. I was in serious shit. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I needed to find a way to get out of here. And I needed to find it quickly. I certainly didn’t want to be anyone’s dinner. And I didn’t want to find myself in Tyler’s bed as well. And I knew I was dangerously close to both things happening.

Chapter 38

You ever watch those horror movies where the woman runs right into the hands of the villain? You sit there and watch her slowly walking through the house, and you want to scream at her to go and hide in a closet or jump into a car or call 911 or do something other than walk towards the person who’s after her. It happens in every horror movie. You sit there with your heart in your hands, your brain screaming at the woman, begging her to stop being so stupid. You think to yourself, ‘If that was me, I wouldn’t be sticking around or grabbing a small kitchen knife. I’d be hiding or running.’ It’s so easy to watch movies and think that. It’s a lot harder to be in a situation of danger and know what to do.

I’m not stupid. I knew something was off in this house. I knew Grant and Tyler were bad news. I know I was dumb to come back with Grant after knowing him for barely ten minutes - and even dumber for having sex with him. I know many people would find it hard to believe I’m not a slut or someone who has casual sex a lot. I don’t. And I’m not even sure why not. I don’t have anything against casual sex. In fact, I rather enjoyed being with Grant that night, even though I was starting to question myself.

“Leave, Evie. Grab your clothes and leave,” I muttered to myself as I stood there. I couldn’t seem to move my feet, and I knew a part of me didn’t want to leave. A part of me wanted to find out what had happened to Eugenie. I was an investigative reporter, after all. At least, that’s what I wanted to be. How could I leave now that there was a real mystery right in front of me? I know, I know. I’m dumb. I should have fled right away. But I was also intrigued by Tyler and I wanted to get to know him better. And I hated myself for it. It made me feel cheap. I walked to my phone and quickly called Hailey, figuring she’d know what I should do.

“Hey, it’s me,” I whispered as soon as she answered.

“Where the fuck are you, Evie?” Hailey sounded upset.

“I already told you that—” I started, but she cut me off.

“I can’t believe you hung up on me last night.” She was fuming. “Where are you?”

“I’m still at Grant’s house.”

“Who the fuck is Grant?” She screeched.

“The guy I met last night,” I said softly. “Look, I don’t think I should leave right now.”

“Oh my God, do not tell me you had a one night stand and now you think it’s going somewhere?” Hailey was shouting. “I knew this was a mistake. Please Evie, just come home.”

“Hailey.” I walked towards the bathroom so the two men couldn’t hear me. “I don’t think a one night stand is going anywhere.”

“So you did have sex with him?” She screamed. “I cannot believe this. You left with the bloody groom. The girls are furious with me. You have really screwed me, you know.”

“Hailey, stop it!” I said into the phone. “This wasn’t planned, trust me.”

“Was it good?” She said softly. “I hope it was the best sex of your life because I am going to kill you when I see you.”

“It was good, but that’s not what I’m calling about.”

“What are you calling about?” She sounded suspicious. “Oh God, do not tell me you’re pregnant.”

“Hailey,” I rolled my eyes as I spoke. “I had sex just last night! I’m not going to wake up knowing I’m pregnant.”

“Evie, I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with you,” she screeched again. “Tell me about this Grant.”

“Well the reason I’m calling has to do with another guy.”

“You did not have a threesome,” she screeched again.

“Hailey, get a grip.” I sighed, though my face warmed at the thought. “You know I didn’t have a threesome. You know I don’t do threesomes.”

“Well, you never did one night stands, either.”

“Hailey, non-judgment zone please.” I sighed. “I was doing you a favor, remember.”

“I know, I know. So what’s going on with Grant and this other guy?”

“So this other guy was telling me about this girl who died, and I think Grant did something to her. I think something fishy is going on.”

“Oh God, Evie, get the fuck out of there!”

“I think I should stay and try and figure out what’s going on.”

“Are you out of your bloody mind?”

“I was out of my mind when I agreed to do this job for you.” I sighed. “I didn’t even get my five grand.”

“I’ll give you five hundred if you come now,” Hailey pleaded. “Please do not go playing Nancy Drew, Evie. You’re not Nancy Drew or Veronica Mars.”

“What about Stephanie Plum?”

“Evie,” she groaned. “Just come home please.”

“Grant doesn’t want me to leave,” I whispered. “At first I thought it was a joke, but I think he might be a bit of—”

“Why aren’t you in the shower?” Tyler walked into the room with a frown on his face. I quickly closed the phone and gave him a weak smile.

“I was just calling my friend.”

“For?”

“To let her know I was alright.”

“So you’re alright?” He shook his head. “You’re stuck in a house you want to leave, yet you call your friend to tell her you’re alright? Are you crazy?”

“No, are you?” I licked my lips nervously. “I’m about to go in the shower now.”

“Can I come in with you?”

“No.” My fingers trembled, and I dropped the phone. Tyler walked over to me, and we both bent down to pick it up. As we both grabbed it, our fingers touched and we stopped and stared into each other’s eyes. Tyler’s expression looked sad as he stared at me, and I could see him studying me intently. He reached up and brushed a piece of hair away from my eyes.

“You have beautiful green eyes. They remind me of the nighttime forest near the house I grew up in.”

“Oh?” I wanted to ask him more, find out where he grew up, why he was here now. Why he worked for Grant. What was his story?

“They have a dark green, almost brown hue to them. They’re inviting me in, yet I feel something treacherous lurking beyond their beauty.”

“You think I’m the treacherous one?” I gasped, and he nodded.

“There’s more to you than meets the eye, Evie.”

“There’s really not. I promise.” I stood up and tried to grab my phone away from him. “I’d like it back now, please.”

“Maybe, but not now. Maybe later.”

“What?” I frowned. “Give me my phone back.” I grabbed his hand and tried to remove my phone from his grip. My heart was beating erratically, and I could feel my face growing cold.

“Sorry.” He shrugged as he held onto my phone tightly with a death grip.

“Give it back.” I squeezed his hand as hard as I could.

“What are you doing, Evie?” Grant walked into the room and stared at us, his expression blank.

“Tyler took my phone and I want it back.”

“You took her phone?” He stared at Tyler for a second.

“Wasn’t that your order, Sir?” Tyler responded quietly, and I saw Grant’s eyes narrowing before he looked back at me.

“Come with me, Evie.” He held his hand out. “Let’s go and talk.”

“Talk about what? I want my phone.”

“Don’t you want to—”

“I don’t want anything but my phone.” I pulled away from him.

“What’s going on with you?” He frowned, his blue eyes eyeing me warily.

“I want to go home now.”

“I told you, that’s not a possibility right now.”

“Why not?”

“Let her go, Grant.” Tyler’s voice was soft as he spoke up. “Just let her go.”

“No.” Grant shook her head. “I’m, I mean, we’re not done.”

“Done with what?”  I swallowed hard.

“Stop asking questions.” Grant turned away. “Take her to the room, Tyler. Let her sit there and think for a while.” He looked at me for a second and then left the room again. I stood there feeling scared and annoyed at myself. Why hadn’t I tried to find an escape when they had both left the room?

“What room?”  I shouted nervously and looked at Tyler’s blank face. “What room is he talking about?”

“The playroom,” Tyler said, his expression cool.

“What playroom?” I asked again, desperately wanting to be out of this situation. “Please just let me go home.”

“That won’t be possible.” Tyler shook his head. “Not right now.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the door.

“At least let me shower and put some clothes on first. Please,” I begged him, and he paused. “Please. I don’t want to go into another room with just this cover on. I don’t want to be naked underneath.”

“Fine.” He pulled me to the bathroom and opened the door. I walked in eagerly, hoping I could climb out of the window and escape, but he followed behind me.

“What are you doing?” I froze as he locked the door.

“Letting you shower.”

“With you here?” I shook my head, my face red. “I can’t shower with you in the room with me.”

“It’s the only way you’re going to be able to shower.” He shrugged and leaned against the door. “It’s your choice.”

“Will you close your eyes?” I asked him softly, my body tense as I stared at him.

“Would you believe me if I said yes?” He grinned and reached forward and grabbed my bathrobe.

“What are you doing?”

“Helping you get ready for your shower.” He loosened the belt and paused as the robe fell open. His hand dropped, and he stepped back and looked at me, my breasts barely covered by the thin material. “You should shower quickly.” He turned away, sounding mad at himself. “I’ll give you five minutes.”

“Five minutes to shower? What?” I blinked at him. “That’s not long enough.”

“Four minutes and fifty-five seconds left.” He looked at his watch.

“Whatever.” I reached in and turned the shower on and put my hand out to feel the temperature of the water. “Will you at least turn around please?” I sighed as I felt the water turning warmer. “Please?”

“Fine.” He rolled his eyes and turned around. I pulled the robe off quickly and entered the shower, letting the hot water cascade down my body. I wasn’t sure why I didn’t feel more panicked. I think it was because it hadn’t really hit me. The whole situation felt surreal. And if I was honest, a part of me felt safe when Tyler was around. I knew Grant was his boss and he would follow Grant’s orders, but I was also pretty sure he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me. He wouldn’t physically harm me. I wasn’t sure why I was so confident of that fact, but somehow, inherently I just knew.

“Why are you doing this?” I said as I reached for some shampoo and rubbed it through my hair quickly. My body was on high alert, and I felt uncomfortable showering with him in the room, even though I knew he wasn’t facing me.

“Why am I doing this?” He repeated. “So you don’t try and escape through the window.”

“No, I mean, why won’t you just let me go. Why won’t Grant let me go?” I grabbed the body wash and started soaping my body up quickly, rubbing myself hard.

“What do you want me to say, Evie?” His voice was angry. “I’m just following orders. You should have thought about what you were doing when you got in the car with Grant last night. You should have thought twice before you went to a bachelors’ party to strip naked for men. You should have thought twice before you decided to sleep with a strange man. Maybe you should have been asking questions before you made those decisions.”

“I know I was stupid.” I sighed. “But I was attracted to him, and he was nice, and it was just going to be one dance.”

“Really?” He laughed, an angry sarcastic sound. “You thought you were coming back for one dance?”

“He seemed nice.” I bit my lip and turned the water on hotter. “Yes, I was attracted to him. Yes, a part of me thought it would be fun to hook up. I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I wasn’t thinking. I mean no one expects their first one night stand to be with a psycho.”

“Grant’s not a psycho.”

“Oh, okay, sure. He just won’t let me leave his house. He’s not a psycho at all,” I exclaimed angrily, and he laughed. “It’s not funny.”

“I’m not laughing.” He said softly and turned around slowly. “I’m not laughing,” he said again as his eyes looked at me seriously, and I gasped and placed my right hand and arm across my breasts and my left hand in front of my pussy.

“What are you doing?” I glared at him. “You said you wouldn’t look.”

“No I didn’t.” He raised his eyebrows, and I saw a glint in his eyes as he stared at me. “You asked me to turn around, and I did. I didn’t say how long I’d turn around for.”

“If you were a gentleman, you’d turn back around.”

“If I was a gentleman?” He burst out laughing, and his eyes crinkled as tears fell down his cheeks. “Oh Evie, what makes you think I’m a gentleman?”

“You’re not.” I shook my head, and then I felt shampoo running into my eyes “Shit,” I mumbled. I didn’t know which hand to use to brush the shampoo out of my eyes. Either hand being moved would reveal something I didn’t want him to see.

“Oh Evie,” he sighed, and I gasped as he stepped into the shower with me and rubbed the shampoo out of my eyes. “Put your head back,” he said bossily, and I felt his fingers rubbing my head and rinsing the shampoo out.

“Your clothes are getting wet,” I muttered as I blinked at him, standing so close to my naked body.

“I don’t care,” he muttered, staring at me with a grim smile, his blue eyes dark as he continued to rub my scalp.

“You didn’t need to do that.” I shook my head and bit my lower lip. He was so close to me. If he moved one inch closer, my naked body would be against his.

“I didn’t want you to have to move your hands and expose yourself,” he said with a laugh in his hands.

“Oh,” I gasped as his hands fell to my shoulders. “If you had turned back around, it wouldn’t have been a concern.”

“But what fun would that have been?”

“Why are you flirting with me?” I gasped as his hands rubbed my back, his fingertips massaging my muscles.

“Because there’s something about you I like.”

“I slept with your boss last night,” I spat out, as much for him as myself. I needed to ignore the heat rising up through my stomach. I needed to ignore the sexual tension I felt for him.

“You made a mistake. It happens.” His hands ran down to my lower back and stopped just above my ass. “You didn’t know then what you know now.”

“Tyler.” I moved my right hand to push him back.

“Yes?” He grinned, and it was then I realized my mistake. He took another step forward, and I felt my breasts push up against his chest. He looked at me with glittering eyes, his eyelashes filled with water drops. His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me towards him. I felt his erection pushing up against me through his pants, and I held my breath as his fingers made their way up my body.

“Your clothes are getting wet,” I whispered against his lips.

“As wet as you are right now?” He grinned, and my body crumpled against his. I had no resistance towards this man. His fingers made their way to my stomach, and we both stood still, waiting to see what was going to happen next. I stood there with my body on fire, and I had no idea what I was going to do next. He kissed my neck then, and I reached out and grabbed his shoulders so I didn’t fall. I felt his teeth biting into my skin, and my legs trembled at his touch. And then he stepped back and out of the shower. I gazed at him in surprise and disappointment.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Evie.” His eyes pierced mine as his fingers ran over the top of his head. “You can trust me.”

“I can’t do anything with you.” I shook my head and closed my eyes, trying to ignore my body’s cries. “I don’t know why I’m even here, and you’re not exactly my savior.” I tried to remind myself of the situation I was in. “I can’t—”

“It’s okay.” His voice was soft. “I know you’re confused. It’s okay.”

“I’m not confused.” I opened my eyes. “I just want to leave.”

“You can’t leave until the boss says you can.”

“What’s he going to do to me?”

“I won’t let him do anything to you, Evie.” His voice was rough. “In every wolf pack, there is an alpha. And in this case I’m the King.”

I stood there staring at him and rubbing the soap softly off my body, imagining it was his fingers touching me. I shivered as he stood there staring at me with a closed off expression. What was Tyler talking about? What was he going to do? And if he was going to help me, would he expect something from me? And if he did, would it be something I’d be willing to give?

Chapter 39

“Don’t leave me in here.” I said softly as Tyler walked to the door of the room he’d brought me to. “Please.”

“You’ll be safe.” He stood by the door and frowned. “He won’t come in and do anything. I’ll make sure of that.”

“How long am I going to be in here?” I looked around the small bedroom and sighed. “And have I been kidnapped?”

“You came here of your own volition, did you not?”

“Yeah, but I—”

“So I’m pretty sure you weren’t kidnapped.” He opened the door. “Just relax.”

“How am I supposed to relax?” I ran over to him. “Let me leave.”

“No.” He shook his head. “Not yet.”

“When?”

“When it’s the right time.”

“I know you know.  What happened to Eugenie?” I asked him again, hoping to break through to him. I knew this was his job, but if his boss was a psycho, he had to know what he was capable of. I refused to believe he would just leave me there.

“I don’t even know who Eugenie really was.” He shrugged. “Stay in the room and be quiet. I’ll see what I can do.”

“Why won’t Grant let me leave?”

“I can’t tell you that.” He shook his head. “Please stay in here and be quiet. If you make a lot of noise, I’ll have to handcuff you.”

“What?” My voice rose, and he pursed his lips.

“Evie.”

“This is crazy!” I shouted. “I feel like I’m in The Twilight Zone. What’s going on here?” I tried to grab his arm, but he walked away from me and out the door. He pulled it closed behind him, and I heard a key turning. I tried to turn the handle, but the door wouldn’t open. Why me? I banged on the door for a few seconds and then stepped back. I didn’t want Tyler to come back and handcuff me. Then I’d really start to panic. How had I not seen that Grant was a psycho? I was so confused by everything. I just didn’t understand what was going on.

Why oh why had I let Hailey talk me into this? Why had I thought it would be a good idea to spend the night with Grant? What dance did I think was worth five grand? Especially a dance from someone like me. I went and sat on the bed and tried to think. What was I going to do now? I tried not to feel sorry for myself. I knew that wasn’t going to get me out of this predicament.

Then I thought about what I would tell someone else to do in this situation. I wasn’t an investigative reporter for nothing. I needed to find out why Grant wouldn’t let me leave and what had happened to Eugenie. I decided to look around the room to see if I could find any clues. It was the only thing I could think to do which wouldn’t make me feel like I was about to lose it. I knew I needed to keep my mind occupied. I looked around the room and saw a large closet and decided to explore in there first.

As soon as I opened the closet, I froze. It was filled with women’s clothes. Were these Eugenie’s clothes? I bit my lower lip as I went through the pockets of all of the trousers. I didn’t feel like I was snooping in the closet. I mean I was just looking through the clothes. It’s not every day you get locked in a room with nothing to do. It’s not every day you think you’ve been kidnapped, even if you did go to the house voluntarily.

I was searching through a pocket when I saw a stack of letters on the top shelf. My heart froze, and I pulled them off the shelf quickly. They were all stacked carefully, with a small silver paperclip keeping them together. I held them to me and looked towards the door to make sure no one was about to come into the room. I walked back to the bed and looked at the pile of handwritten letters anxiously. I stared at the first letter and immediately my eyes started reading.

The first kiss was like poison. Once I had a taste of him, I was dead. Once he had a taste of me he was crazy. We were crazy in love. We were crazy in the head. We were parasites to each other. I didn’t know how to get away. How do you leave the man you love? How do you cleanse yourself of toxins when your body craves them? I don’t know the answer. All I know is I’m consumed by him.

There was no name at the bottom of the letter, but all I could think was Eugenie must have written the letter. I eagerly placed the first letter next to me on the bed and read the second one.

He took me out today. I thought he was going to give me my freedom. I cried at the possibility of my loss. He cried too, but for a different reason. We made love in the fields. There were flowers of every color: green, red, yellow, blue, purple, and pink. They filled my every sense. I felt like I was in another world. I wanted to be in another world. I didn’t want the magic to stop. I didn’t want to go back.

My heart started beating rapidly as I read the letters. What did she mean by she thought he was going to give her freedom? Had Grant kidnapped her as well? I quickly turned to the next letter.

I got high today. It felt good. I didn’t tell him, and I feel guilty. I think he knows though. I don’t want him to know where I got the drugs. I don’t want him to know what I did or my secrets. I feel dirty. But I also feel good. God help me, but I love this feeling. I’m flying so high. I’m fucking flying on a magic carpet and he’s taking me to hell and back.

I shivered and turned to the next letter quickly.

Am I crazy? I lied. He lied. I want to leave before I break down. I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have trusted him. He’s going to be my downfall. And now it’s over.

What had Eugenie lied about? Was it the drugs again? I felt frustrated reading the letters and not knowing exactly what she was talking about.

Help me. I’m scared. If you find this, please help me. I’m Eugenie Parker. I’m 21 years old, and I’ve been kidnapped.

I dropped the letter on my lap. So it was Eugenie. I could feel my face growing hotter as my stomach started to churn, but I kept on reading.

I am, I cried. I am. I’m trying. Writing in black and white is hard. He doesn’t know what’s happening. What’s happened? I don’t know if he cares. He abandoned me. I haven’t left this room in three days. Help me, please. There’s no magic anymore. Just me. Only me.

I turned quickly to the next letter, but it was just a blank piece of paper. All of the rest of the pages were blank. I glanced back at the letters and reread them, trying to memorize them and find clues anywhere I could. ‘What happened to Eugenie?’ I was thinking. ‘What did Grant do? How did she die? Does Tyler know what happened? Was he here working for Grant? Did he lock her in this room like he did me? Did he promise her she’d be okay as well? Did I walk into a trap? And if so, what does it mean that I’m now in her room? Am I next?’

Chapter 40

I woke up to someone touching my face. The room was dark, and I realized I must have fallen asleep after I’d hidden the letters back in the closet. I blinked in the dark and tried to make out the face of who was with me. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw Tyler. I wasn’t sure what I would have done if it had been Grant.

“Hi, how are you doing?” He asked as I sat up and looked at him.

“How do you think?” I replied in a surly fashion. I didn’t care if he thought I was a bitch. He couldn’t expect me to act happy to see him.

“You look well rested.”

“Are you going to let me leave now?”

“What if I said you could leave?” He tilted his head to the side.

“I can go?” I asked eagerly, a light weight coming off of my shoulders. I wasn’t cut out for this. I didn’t want to find out what had happened to Eugenie. I just wanted to leave.

“Do you want to go?” His brows furrowed, and he gazed at me with such a sad look I felt my heart breaking for the unspoken hurt in his eyes. What was Tyler’s story? Something in me couldn’t look away or talk as I stared at him. I’d never experienced such a feeling before. I felt as if I were having an out-of-body experience as we stared at each other.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked me softly as we sat in the dark room.

“Wondering how I got myself into this position,” I said after a few seconds of silence and sighed as I continued to stare at him. “It’s just my luck the one guy I chose to have a one-night stand with is a psycho.”

“That is a shame.” He nodded.

“How could you work for him?” I asked him with a confused face. “How could you work for someone so crazy?”

“I don’t think he’s crazy.” He shrugged.

“He had you lock me up in this room.” I rolled my eyes. “He’s crazy.”

“He does everything for a reason.”

“What sort of reason?” I was starting to get annoyed and loud.

"I'll huff and I'll puff and..."

"You'll blow my house down?" I finished his sentence for him, and he smiled slowly.

"You're not a little piggy, dear Evie." His voice was throaty as he grabbed the front of my shirt. "I'm planning on doing a lot more than blowing your house down."

“What?” I gasped as I fell towards him. “What are you doing?”

“I was about to kiss you, unless you wanted to leave. However, I feel like you’re the sort of girl who wants to get to the bottom of this before you leave.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you’ve had several opportunities to make a run for it.” He paused. “I gave you several opportunities.”

“I didn’t realize how serious everything was.” I said honestly. “I’m not sure I want to get to the bottom of it all, anymore.”

“Did he show you his chain last night?”

I nodded without answering, my face burning with shame at how easily I’d given myself to Grant.

“Did you use it?”

“Use the chain?” I repeated dumbly. “How would we use the chain?”

Tyler stood up then and bent down and picked something up. I could see the silhouette of his body reflected on the wall behind him.

“It’s long and hard and stiff, yet surprisingly supple in my hands.” He said softly as he stood there.

“What are you talking about?” I looked down to his pants.

“Get your mind out of the gutter.” He grinned as he held up the chain. “What do you think?”

“Oh.” I stared at the chain for a few seconds and jumped off the bed. I touched the chain gingerly, wondering how this cold piece of metal could ever be used in a loving way.

“Are you thinking about him?” He whispered in my ear as his right hand grabbed my breast.

“No.” I shook my head slightly and gasped as he pushed me back onto the bed.

“Good. This is about us.”

“Why did he—” I started and he cut me off his with his lips.

“Now is not the time for talking. Now is the time for loving. Now is the time for me to show you what it’s like to experience ecstasy in every fiber of your being.”

“What are you going to do?”

“What am I not allowed to do?” His voice was hoarse.

“Why?” I gasped nervously. How far was he going to go?

“Because that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

“I can’t sleep with you.” I shook my head. “It wouldn’t be right.”

“Why not?”

“I, I...” I looked away from him and blushed. “I already slept with Grant.”

“So you want to be with Grant?” His voice was a question.

“No.” I shook my head and then paused. “I mean, I don’t know.” I shivered as he ran his fingers across my stomach.

“What are you thinking about right now?” He bent down and kissed my stomach.

“I’m thinking this is absolutely crazy. I’m thinking I need to leave.” I held my breath as his tongue played in my belly button and he kissed my stomach. “I’m wondering why I haven’t really seen Grant since that night. He’s barely spoken to me.”

“Grant thinks you want to have a threesome,” he said softly as his tongue licked down my stomach and stopped at the top of the pants he’d given me to wear earlier.

“No, of course not.” I shook my head. “I don’t want that.” Just because I thought they wanted it didn’t mean I did. No, not at all. Especially now that I was pretty sure Grant was a psycho. Now, I couldn’t lie to myself about Tyler. I wanted him bad.

“Good.” He nodded. “That’s not what I want either.”

“What do you want?” I looked into his eyes and searched for an answer.

“It’s not about what I want.” He rolled away from me and stood up.

“Where are you going?” I watched as he walked to the closet and opened it. My heart raced as I worried he would see the letters I’d put back. However, he didn’t even look at the top shelf. Instead, he pulled out some knee-high stockings, a black bra, some black panties, a pair of black heels, and a piece of lacy material.

“I want you to put these on.” He handed them to me. “And put the lace over your face.”

“Over my face?”

“I want you to cover your eyes.” He nodded, a smirk on his face. “I want to make sure you can’t see.”

“Why?” I frowned and sat up, brushing my hair away from my face as I stared at him.

“This is a test.”

“A test?”

“A test to see who you really want.”

“What?” I frowned. “And stop looking at me like that.” I didn’t understand, what sort of test was this?

“Like what?”

“Like you can see into my soul.”

“Oh, but I can, Evie.”

“No, you can’t.” I bit my lower lip nervously as I touched the delicate garments he had handed me. “And I don’t understand why you want me to wear these items.”

“I already told you.” He laughed. “It’s a test. You’re going to put these items on, and you’re going to lie on the floor with your legs in the air and wait.”

“Wait for what?”

“You’ll know when I’m ready for you.”

“You just want me to lie there and wait.”

“I want you to lie there and wait for me.”

“On the floor?” I trembled as he licked his lips.

“Yes, on the carpet by the door. There’s a cool breeze coming through the door. I want you to lie there and imagine it’s my tongue.”

“Why?”

“I want you to lie there on your back with your legs in the air waiting to be fucked. I want your pussy to throb with sweet anticipation. I want your nipples to harden, waiting to be touched. I want your stomach to churn with excitement. I want your heart to beat fast with every sound you hear. I want your body to experience the exhilaration of not knowing what’s going to come next.”

“Then you’re going to touch me?” I whispered and stared at his lips. How could I say no to him when I was already wet?

“I’ll only touch you if it’s me you want.”

“What?”

“As you lie there waiting, your body will tell you who you’re craving.”

“How?” I asked him stupidly. I already knew who my body was craving, though I didn’t understand how I could want to be with Tyler so bad.

“Because when you feel the first touch of a finger or a feather, someone’s face will pop into your mind. Then you’ll know who you really want.”

“I don’t understand.” I shook my head in confusion. Wasn’t it going to be him touching me?

“You won’t know if it’s me or Grant touching you.”

“What?” My jaw dropped. “I don’t understand.” I dropped the underwear on the bed. “Both of you are going to touch me?” I shivered. “Isn’t that considered a threesome?”

“No.” He shook his head. “Only one of us will touch you. You won’t know who.”

“I can’t just lie there and wait.” I stumbled over my words, excitement coursing through my body. “I can’t let someone touch me and not know who.”

“Why not?” He ran his fingers across my lips roughly. “What are you afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid of anything.” I shook my head. “Why am I here? Am I just a sex toy? Is that why Grant won’t let me leave?”

“You’re here because you met Grant at a bachelor party. He offered you five grand for a dance and you slept with him.” He shrugged, and I could hear a tinge of anger in his voice.

“So why are you coming on to me?” I snapped.

“Because I think you made a mistake with Grant.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because you want me.” He smiled smugly and leaned in. “You want me to fuck you so bad, I can see it in your eyes.”

“No, I don’t.” I swallowed hard. “Where’s Grant?”

“Do you really want to be with him? Didn’t you say he was crazy?”

“No, you said he was...” My voice trailed off. “I want to know what happened to Eugenie.”

“Why?” His face turned to stone. “I told you earlier that—”

“I don’t care what you told me earlier.” I shook my head and then gazed at his hands as he pulled a strand of pearls out of his pocket. “What are they?”

“I want to put them around your neck.” He smiled. “Maybe you’ll find out what else they can be used for later.”

“Will you tell me about Eugenie?” I asked softly. “I don’t need to know what happened to her. You don’t have to tell me what happened, I just want to know about her.”

“Is that why you haven’t left?” He ran his fingers across my lips. “You want to get to the bottom of her story, don’t you? Even though you have no idea who she is.”

“I want to know what happened to her, yes.”

“And you want to fuck me too, don’t you?” He pushed his finger into my mouth, and I sucked on it gently before biting down with my teeth. “Do you wish it was my cock in there instead?” He whispered in my ear.

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” I licked his finger delicately while staring at him, and his eyes never left mine.

“I told you what happens to little girls who play with wolves,” he said hoarsely, and then I smiled at him.

“There’s one thing you forgot to take into account,” I said softly, my heart beating fast. “I’m not Little Red Riding Hood, and I’m not a little girl. I’m a wolf hunter, and when I get one in my grip, it’s very hard for them to survive.” I moved my lips to his cheek and gave him a quick kiss before moving to his ear and whispering, “In a game of predator and prey, it’s not always the predator who comes out on top.” I could feel my heart racing as I played his game, and his hand immediately fell to my ass as he held me against him tightly. He turned slightly, and his eyes looked black in the poor light, before he turned to whisper in my ear.

“I don’t care who’s on top, Evie.” His tongue licked my ear. “I just care if it’s me you’re thinking about when my hard cock is inside you.” He grabbed my hand and placed it on his hardness. “I want every long hard stroke to make you think of me.” My fingers gripped his hardness, and I swallowed as he grew even harder in my hands. “Now take your clothes off. Put on the panties, bra, and blindfold, and wait. Don’t touch yourself either. I want your body waiting in sweet anticipation for the moment when one of us touches you.”

“I don’t want—” I started, but he cut me off and stepped away from me.

“Legs in the air, Evie. You’ll find that not knowing when or who will make it even more exciting.” And then he walked out of the room, leaving the door open. I stared at the open door and then at the underwear he’d given me. I couldn’t believe I was even contemplating staying, especially after seeing the letters and being locked up in the room. However, I just couldn’t seem to leave. Not yet. I wanted to see how everything was going to play out. I wanted to find out exactly what was going on here. And if I was honest with myself, I wanted to be with Tyler as well. I didn’t think about that too hard though, as I didn’t like what it said about me.

Chapter 41

Tyler was right. The anticipation of not knowing what was coming was exciting and scary. As I lay on the carpet by the door, I felt self-conscious in my bra and panties. I also wondered what the fuck I was doing lying there. I have to admit, part of me felt like a fool. I mean, how could I not? There I was, practically naked, with my legs in the air, waiting for someone to come and touch me. Yes, it was the sexiest situation I’d ever been in, but it was also one of the stupidest.

I know some people wonder why I stayed then. They ask, like Hailey, what happened to my brain? What can I tell you? I don’t know. Maybe the endorphins rushing through my body were warping my mind. I don’t know. I can’t explain it. My brain was shouting at me to leave, but another part of me—the daredevil part—didn’t want me to leave. The daredevil part of me wanted to see what was going to happen. The confident part of me felt like I could get through this. It was almost as if I had something to prove to myself. I wanted to get to the bottom of the Eugenie mystery, and I wanted to work out Tyler’s story.

I knew that wanting to sleep with Tyler wasn’t something I could control. It was my body talking, my soul. There was a deeper story to Tyler. I could see it in the sadness of his eyes. I could hear it in the hesitation in his voice when he spoke about Grant. I could feel it in the way his fingers touched me tenderly. Something in him struck a chord in me.

I heard footsteps coming towards me, and I froze. All of a sudden, I wasn’t as excited. All of a sudden, I was tense. I couldn’t see anything though the blindfold. I’d have no idea who was touching me. It was a weird situation to be in. It was scary, but it was also exhilarating.

A part of me had always wanted to explore my sexual side, but I’d always held back. I wasn’t sure why. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was sexually repressed or just scared what society would think of me. So I’d always been the good girl. I’d stuck to only sleeping with the guys I dated, even when they hadn’t been great in bed. Even when I’d been propositioned by men so hot, they’d melted my panties off with a look, I hadn’t slept with them because I wasn’t a one-night girl. I wasn’t a girl who fucked just to fuck, though that had obviously changed now. I’d slept with Grant, and I’d enjoyed it, psycho or not.

However, in this moment, all I could think about was Tyler. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to be touched by him. I wanted to feel the electricity coursing through our bodies as we made love. I wanted to be taken to the top of the cliff, not knowing if I would make it down alive. I wanted to jump off a building, not knowing if a net was waiting there to catch me. I wanted to be consumed by him. My body felt feverish just thinking of him.

And then I felt the first touch. Right in the middle between my legs. Fingers rubbed me gently back and forth, and my entire body shook immediately. I felt pressure against my clit. I felt fingers moving back and forth gently and then more roughly, as if they knew how close I was to an orgasm already. My legs fell to the floor, and he growled and pulled them back up. I moaned at the loss of his fingers and felt him move my legs over his shoulders. He leaned down and kissed me gently on the lips.

“Tyler,” I said gently, knowing it was him from his taste and smell.

“You saw me?” he responded as he pulled the blindfold off me.

“No.” I licked his lips as I shook my head.

“How did you know it was me?” He looked at me with surprised eyes.

“I know your smell. I know your taste. I know your touch.” And then I said the words I’d been thinking from the beginning. “And I knew it was you who would come.”

“Oh?” His eyes twinkled. “You knew, huh?”

“I knew.” I nodded. I knew deep inside there had been a little bit of doubt, but internally I’d known, somehow, it would be him who came. I wasn’t sure I’d have been able to sit and wait if I’d thought there was a real possibility Grant was going to come.

“You sound very confident.” He smiled.

“Was there a possibility Grant was going to come?”

“Grant went out, so no.” He paused. “Not this time.”

“Not this time?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“How do I know you won’t change your mind and want him instead of me?” He stood up and pulled me up with him.

“I’m not that sort of girl.” Even as I said the words, they sounded false after everything that had happened.

“What do you want to happen tonight, Wolf Hunter?”

“I don’t know,” I whispered as his fingers ran across my shoulders.

“Touch me, tease me, and never leave me. Kiss me, lick me, I won’t think you’re easy. Fuck me, blow me, and close your eyes. I’m going to take you on the ride of your life,” he whispered in my ear as his fingers trailed down my stomach and closer to my panties. “Do you like this, Evie?” His voice was raspy, more urgent, and his eyes searched mine.

I stared back at him with my heart pounding. I shivered at the look of desire in his eyes. I was in over my head, and I knew it.

He smiled then, a warm satisfied smile as if he could read my mind. His fingers stopped their journey, and he grabbed my hands. “Are you ready for what’s next?” He pulled me closer towards him, not blinking.

I nodded slowly, barely believing I was actually in this situation and agreeing to his unspoken offer.

“Good,” he said before his lips crushed down on mine, claiming what was his.

I melted against his chest and kissed him back passionately, wanting to be an active part of this journey he wanted to take me on.

His hands squeezed my shoulders as he kissed me, and I cried out as he pulled my hair roughly. He chuckled at the sound and pulled away from me. “You need to toughen up if you want to do this. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” I finally whispered in reply. “I understand.” Though I really wasn’t sure what he meant by toughen up.

“I like you, Evie. I really do,” he said as he reached behind me to undo my bra.

“You don’t even know me,” I whispered as I felt my bra being thrown to the floor.

“I know everything I need to know.” He took my hand and guided me to the bed, pushing me down before straddling me. “I know you taste like honey.” His lips found my right breast, and he sucked on my nipple eagerly as his hand played with my left nipple and rolled it around in his fingers. His teeth gently tugged my right nipple, and I squirmed underneath him as I felt ripples of pleasure coursing through my body. His tongue flicked my nipple back and forth and then he looked up at me as I moaned. “I expect you to be louder when I’m eating you out.” He grinned and kissed down my stomach before pulling my panties off.

“Oh.” I felt delirious at how fast everything was moving. His face was in my wet pussy before I could blink, and I felt him sucking on my clit before gently flicking it with his tongue. My body moved of its own volition underneath him, and he lapped my juices up eagerly before pulling away.

“What are you doing?” I moaned as he rolled to the side of me. I looked over at him and sighed. My body felt cold and empty without him on me and touching me.

“I told you I wanted to hear you be louder when I ate you out.” He licked his lips as he stared at me. “You taste so fucking good.” He grunted as he licked.

“I was moaning,” I whimpered, reaching out to touch his chest. “Don’t stop.”

“You weren’t loud enough for me.” He lay back, and I stared at his chest. “I couldn’t tell if you wanted it.”

“What do you want from me?” I whispered as I stared down at his face.

“You tell me, Wolf Hunter.” He winked, and I knew this was a challenge. Once again, he was testing me to see how far I’d go. I grinned down at him as I felt a surge of energy and power coursing through me.

“Okay.” I grinned and stood up. I saw the hesitation and worry on his face. He thought I was going to leave. That made me feel even more confident as I pulled his boxer shorts off.

“You do that like you’re a pro.” He grinned as he realized I was staying.

“I don’t know that it’s a joking matter.” I shook my head with a smile before taking his cock in my hands and running my fingers down his shaft and grabbing his balls. “I don’t know that you want to play with me right now.”

“Oh?” He grunted as his body froze.

“I think...” I paused and bent down. “I think you should be very careful with your words right now.” I took his cock into my mouth and sucked hard, bobbing up and down for about a minute as he groaned beneath me. I could hear his breathing growing harder as I took him deep into my throat and then sat up.

“What?” He muttered as I sat on the bed next to him.

“Yes?” I smiled sweetly and then yelped as he pushed me back onto the bed and got on top of me.

“You want to play games with me?” He grunted in my ear as his fingers slipped between my legs and entered me. “Do you think you can win?” He kissed my neck as my body convulsed beneath him. “Do you think you can tease me and not give me what I want?”

“What do you want?”

“I want you, Evie.” He grunted in my ear. “I want to please you. I want to touch you. I want to taste you. I want to save you.”

“Save me from what?” I gasped as his fingers rubbed my clit rapidly, bringing me to the edge of orgasm.

“I want to save you from yourself,” he grunted as I exploded beneath his fingers, my juices flowing into his hand and over his fingers. My back arched, and I screamed at the intensity of my orgasm. My whole body was shaking as I lay there, and he kissed me lightly on the lips. “Did you enjoy that?”

I nodded and then pushed him back and straddled him, rubbing my juices over his still hard cock and thighs.

“Hold on.” He reached down and grabbed a condom packet, and I moved over as he slid it on. His eyes never left my face as he guided my hips back over to him. I moved forward and felt the tip of his cock rubbing against my entry. I moved forward gently, and he grabbed my hips and lifted me up slightly and then sat me down. I felt his cock filling me up, and I started to move back and forth quickly, my mind on nothing other than making him come as hard and fast as he’d made me come. He grabbed my breasts and played with my nipples as I rode him hard and fast. I could feel that I was going to come again, and he could sense it as well. He grabbed my hips and moved me faster, all the time grunting as his cock slid in and out of me.

“Come for me, Evie.” His voice was hoarse. “Come for me.”

I screamed as I felt his finger rubbing my clit as I continued to ride him. My orgasm was even more intense this time, and I could tell from the shaking and then stilling of his body that he was coming as well. I collapsed on top of him, and I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks.

“Are you okay?” He wiped my tears away and then kissed me.

I nodded slowly, knowing a part of me was forever changed. That I could never go back from this moment—from my actions of the last two days.

“Good, because I want to fuck you again.” He grinned at me. “I’ll give you a few seconds to get ready.”

“A few seconds?” I smiled at him and looked into his eyes, my heart beating fast. I still felt slightly concerned at my situation. I still felt like I was in a dangerous situation. I still felt every nerve in my body on edge.

It was then that I heard the door close, and footsteps walking back down the corridor. We hadn’t been alone. I shivered at the thought. Had Grant been watching us?

“He knows?” I looked up at Tyler in confusion, anxiety running through my veins.

“Yes.” He stilled. “He knows.”

“Why was he watching us?” I asked softly, cuddling into him to keep warm.

“In case you wanted him,” Tyler whispered against my head, “and in case you were still lying on the floor waiting.” His fingers ran down my back. “You see Evie, I just made it to you first.”

Chapter 42

I stared at Tyler with a shocked expression as my stomach dropped. “What do you mean, you made it to me first?”

“I’m joking.” He sat up and pulled me up with him. “There was never any possibility of him touching you again.”

“What do you mean?” I shook my head and felt my hair cascading down my back. “You just said...”

“Grant’s not going to touch you again.” He said firmly. “You’re mine now.”

“I’m yours?” I could hear a bell ringing in my ears. “And Grant was okay with that?”

“I’ve got things on him.” Tyler shrugged.

“So I can go?”

“He doesn’t want you to leave yet.” He shook his head and sighed. “This is a delicate situation.”

“Why?”

“I’m not in a position to say.” He leaned forward and kissed me.

“Does it have to do with Eugenie? And her death? Does it have to do with the drugs he gave her?”

“What drugs?” He froze and looked down at me. “What drugs?” He said again, this time his voice rising.

“The drugs which made her think she was losing her mind.” I bit my lower lip and tried to remember my training. What was I supposed to do and say in a situation like this? I froze as I realized I had no idea. I wasn’t a real investigative reporter. I was just a wanna-be, and none of my classes had prepared me for a situation like this.

“How do you know she took drugs that made her lose her mind?” He ran his hands through his hair. “What are you talking about?”

“I found some letters.” I took a deep breath, not sure if I could trust him, but knowing I didn’t have much of a choice. “She wrote letters.”

“She did?” His eyes widened. “What did they say? Where are they?”

“In the closet.” My heart thudded. “What did Grant do, Tyler? Why are you working for him?”

“It’s complicated, Evie. Please show me the letters. Do they mention Grant?” He asked softly.

“No, she never named him.” I bit my lower lip and walked over to the closet and pulled the letters out. “She loved him, but he lied to her about something. She was also on drugs. She seemed like she was losing control.”

“Let me see them.” He grabbed the letters from my hand, walked back to the bed, turned the lamp on, and read them quickly. He placed them on the bed next to him and I could see he was deep in thought.

“What are we going to do?” I asked as I walked towards him. He looked up at me with a distant look in his eyes. He stared at my body from head to foot and stood up and grabbed my hands without speaking. “Tyler?” I asked hesitantly. “What are you thinking?”

He pushed me down onto the bed, his eyes searching mine before kissing me hard, his tongue taking control of mine as he sought refuge in my mouth. His hands reached down and spread my legs, and he positioned himself on top of me, his cock resting next to my pussy. His lips moved from my mouth and down my neck, nibbling everything they touched. He grabbed my arms and pushed them up above my head and held them back tightly.

“Tyler?” I said his name again, my body on high alert. He grabbed something from the table next to the bed and I only knew it was handcuffs when he slid one side over my wrists and attached it to the bed post. “Wait, what are you doing?” I asked and closed my eyes as his blue eyes blazed into mine. Still he didn’t talk. He turned off the light and reached for another condom and slid it on his already hard cock. His fingers played with my nipples as I lay there, trying to move my arms even though I wasn’t able to. He lay back on top of me and kissed me lightly. I felt the tip of his cock at my entrance, and his eyes sought mine. I nodded slightly, and he entered me hard and fast. I moaned as he slid into me, filling me up. I wanted to reach out and grab him, but I couldn’t touch him.

He sat up slightly and pulled my legs over his shoulders, his eyes filled with desire as he looked down at me. He slammed into me over and over again, his balls bouncing off my pussy as his cock claimed me. My body couldn’t stop from trembling, and I felt him stilling inside of me as he climaxed. He stared down into my face as we both came.

“I want to erase every memory of Grant from your mind,” he said quietly as he collapsed on top of me.

“I’m not thinking of him.” I shook my head.

“Why are you here with me, Evie?” He sighed and played with my hair. “Why did you come here?”

“I told you why.” I sighed and looked at him. “Maybe I was an idiot, but it’s too late for me to have any regrets.”

“Why did you cry earlier?” He asked softly as he undid the handcuffs.

“I don’t know.” I looked away from him. “Maybe at the loss of my innocence.”

“You were a virgin last night?” He looked skeptical.

“No.” I laughed slightly. “No, I wasn’t a virgin, but I also wasn’t someone who had one night stands. I don’t normally go from bed to bed.” I stared at him. “But I can’t say I would blame you if you didn’t believe that.”

“My sister died of a drug overdose.” He sat up and crossed his legs as he changed the subject.

“Oh?” I sat up as well and brushed my hair out of my eyes. Was this why he’d gone quiet?

“I didn’t know she was on drugs when she died.” He ran his hand over his head. “I mean, I knew she’d done drugs. I thought she was clean when she died. I thought I’d helped her.”

“How did she die?” I asked softly.

“How did she die?” He repeated my words softly. “She died from drugs. A broken heart. Desperation. She lost her way.” His voice dropped. “Sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Not always in that order and not always fun.”

“I’m sorry.” I grabbed his hands and rubbed his palms in mine. As we sat there in silence, I realized how odd this moment was. I was sitting naked with a man I’d met the day before, comforting him. Though that wasn’t the oddest part. The oddest part was I felt like I was meant to be there. The oddest part was my whole being felt like my life had been building up to this moment and this man. This man I’d never met before yesterday.

“You ever feel like one moment in your life defines you? One moment will change the path of your life forever?” He sighed, and I nodded. I knew exactly what he was talking about. “My sister’s death was that moment. When she died, I vowed I’d be a different person. I vowed I wasn’t going to let society dictate the way I lived my life.”

“Is that when you went to work for Grant?”

“Grant’s not the man you think he is.” He looked into my eyes. “He’s not the guy I thought he was.”

“We should leave. We should report him.” I said earnestly. “We don’t have to stay here. You don’t have to work for him.”

“I can’t leave, Evie.” He shook his head. “You can’t leave. Don’t you understand?”

“Understand what?” I exclaimed. “I don’t understand what you want me to understand.”

“You don’t get to just come here and leave. Grant chose you for a reason.”

“What do you mean?” I shivered and pulled my hands away from him. “I’m not with Grant anymore.”

“You came here with Grant.” He sighed. “He has a plan for you.”

“What plan?”

“It’s not for me to say.” He shook his head and stood up. “I should go.”

“Where are you going?” I whimpered, not wanting to be left alone.

“You trust me, right?” He pulled me up towards him and kissed my lips.

“I think so.” I kissed him back softly.

“I can’t just change how everything operates, Evie. There’s a plan in place. Grant is the one who makes the decisions.”

“But you said I was with you now.”

“He won’t touch you again.”

“What will he do then?”

He looked at me silently and then turned his head to the side.

“Is he going to do to me what he did to Eugenie?” I grabbed his head and turned him to look at me. “Just what have I gotten myself into, Tyler?”

“Do you want to leave?” He bit his lower lip. “I can let you go now. I can let you run away.”

“But what about everything?” I asked slowly as he ran his fingers down the valley between my breasts.

“Everything like what?”

“Eugenie. The truth. I could tell from the look on your face you didn’t know about the letters or that Eugenie was being given drugs.” I stared at him as his face contorted. “We shouldn’t let Grant get away with this.”

“I don’t know what happened with Eugenie.”

“Don’t you want to know the truth?” I took a deep breath. “I don’t want this—”

“Are you prepared for what happens if you stay?” He cut me off and pulled me towards him urgently. “This isn’t a game, Evie. This is real. There’s a possibility that...” His voice trailed off and he shook his head. “No, you should leave. I want you to leave.”

“What about Grant?” I really wanted to say, but what about us?

“What about him?”

“Won’t he ask where I went?”

“I can deal with him.” He pulled me towards him and hugged me tight. “There’s a woman who once told me, ‘You are what you are, and you only are if you do, and if you don’t do, then you’re nothing.’”

“What?” I frowned, confused by his words.

“There’s nothing more important to me than you leaving here safely.” He stroked the top of my head. “Unless you think you can handle staying.”

“What do you mean?”

“If you stay…” He paused. “There are things you might have to do.”

“What sort of things?”

“I don’t know.” He grabbed my hands and pulled me towards him and whispered in my ear, “There are things you might have to do which might make you uncomfortable.”

“What?” I asked, and I felt his hands digging into my side hard.

“Don’t move,” he whispered. “He’s back.”

I didn’t need to ask who. I froze as I heard the door open slightly. The room was dead quiet as we all stood there waiting for someone to speak.

“Someone found her wings.” Grant’s voice was husky, and I heard the rustle of chains in his hands. I stood there next to Tyler and shivered as his grip tightened.

“Can we help you, Grant?” Tyler’s voice sounded stiff.

“I thought we could all play a little game.” Grant walked towards us. “What do you say, Evie?”

“What?” I turned around slowly, trying to cover my body from him, and he laughed.

“Why are you being modest?” He frowned. “It’s not as if I haven’t seen it.”

“Grant.” Tyler’s voice was angry.

“I know you’re not getting angry at me.” Grant snapped and held his chain up. “I found her, Tyler. She’s mine.”

“She doesn’t want to be with you, Sir.” Tyler took a step towards Grant.

“Let’s play a game and see.” Grant smiled at me. “What do you think, Evie?”

“What game?”

“We’re not playing any games.” Tyler took another step forward.

“Why not?” Grant’s smile dropped. “You never minded the games before. In fact, I thought you quite liked them.”

“What games?” I asked again, my head feeling heavy. I was so confused and a part of me was questioning what Grant was saying. What did he mean that Tyler had liked the games?

“We can go in the hot tub.” Grant said. “Tyler likes the hot tub, don’t you Tyler?”

“Fuck off.” Tyler growled.

“Should you really be talking to me that way, Tyler?”

“Evie found some letters.” Tyler said softly. “Letters written by Eugenie.”

Grant’s eyes narrowed, and he stared at me. “What did they say?”

“What did you do to her?” I said loudly. “What are you trying to do to me? Why won’t you let me leave?”

“This is a game.” Grant frowned. “This is just a game.”

“A game where she can’t leave?” Tyler grabbed my hand. “Why did you—”

“Where are the letters?” Grant looked around the room.

“I want to know what happened to Eugenie!” I screamed out in frustration.

Both men turned to look at me. I stood there, and I could feel my body regaining strength and power. “What the fuck is going on here?”

“You want answers?” Grant said softly.

I nodded.

He smiled for a few seconds and then took a step towards me. “What else do you want, Evie?”

“Excuse me?” I said, my breathing coming hard.

“What else or who else do you want?” His eyes surveyed my body, and I could feel my nipples hardening involuntarily. Why was my body still reacting to him?

“Grant.” Tyler’s voice was husky as he stood next to his boss. He looked at me then and surveyed my naked body in silence. I stood there frozen to the spot, my heart racing and my head spinning. Both men were in front of me, looking at me with questions in their eyes. All of a sudden I didn’t know which way was left and which way was right. The room felt a lot smaller and a lot darker. All of a sudden both men suddenly appeared a lot larger and more dangerous than before. As I looked back and forth at Grant and Tyler’s faces, I wasn’t sure which one to trust. Could I trust either of them? Was this all just some elaborate game and plan to them? Was I really safe with either of them? My head pounded as I stood there thinking about everything I knew. I really had no reason to believe either of them had my best interests at heart.

“Let’s see what Evie wants, Tyler.” Grant’s voice was low, and he had a snarl on his face as he stared at me. In the moment, he looked very much like the wolf Tyler had called him.

“What I want?” I swallowed hard as he reached out and touched my shoulder. I took a step back, and Tyler took a step towards me and touched my other shoulder. I felt both of their hands massaging me, and I melted a little inside.

“What do you want, Evie?” Tyler’s voice was rough, and he wouldn’t make eye contact with me. I felt his hand slide down to my lower back, and I froze and turned to look at him. He finally turned towards me, and I could see a look in his eyes. I knew from his look that this wasn’t a part of his plan. This wasn’t something he wanted to happen.

“What do you think I want?” I asked softly and froze as Grant’s hand moved to my ass and squeezed it softly.

“I know what I want,” Grant whispered in my ear, “and I think you want it too.” His finger slipped between my legs and ran up my butt-crack lightly before going back down and rubbing me between the legs. My body reacted immediately to his touch, and I trembled for a few seconds before stepping back.

“Don’t.” Tyler stepped forward and pushed Grant back. “Don’t touch her.”

“But...” Grant frowned, and Tyler grabbed him and they left the room.

My body was trembling in shock as I realized how close I’d come to being in a situation which left me breathless and confused. I quickly grabbed the clothes I’d been wearing before Tyler had given me the sexy underwear, and pulled them on. I heard Grant and Tyler arguing as they walked down the corridor, and I stood in the doorway and waited for them to be out of sight.

There was no doubt in my mind now. I wanted to leave. I didn’t care what connection Tyler and I had. This was just a little too much for me. I was finally coming to my senses, and I knew this was not the place for me to be. I didn’t even care about finding out how Eugenie had died. I was past the detective mode stage. I could still feel Grant’s fingers between my legs as Tyler massaged my lower back. I’d been this close to doing who knows what. I felt like I was going out of my mind. And I needed to leave.

I was running down the corridor to find a way to escape when I heard the footsteps coming back towards me. “Shit,” I muttered to myself and opened the door to my right. I ran inside the room and looked for a place to hide. I saw a closet and ran towards it quickly and opened it quietly, got in, and stood there with my heart beating fast. I kept the door slightly ajar so I could try and see what was happening. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack or a panic attack, I was so scared and confused. And then they stopped right in front of the door. I watched Tyler and Grant standing there looking at each other furiously, and I closed my eyes. If they came into this room, I’d be found. If they came into this room, I would be the wolves’ dinner.

Chapter 43

“Why did you touch her?” Tyler’s voice was angry. “What were you thinking?”

“I thought you wanted us to test her, to see how far she would go.” Grant’s face twisted. “Isn’t this the test?”

“This is different.”

“I don’t know what’s changed.” Grant blinked.

“You don’t need to know, Sir.”

“You’re overdoing it now, Tyler. There’s no need to call me Sir.” Grant looked annoyed.

“That’s how a driver would address his boss, is it not?”

“I’m not your boss.”

“You know our arrangement, Grant.”

“It just feels weird.” He sighed. “I don’t know. I think we should just let her leave. She’s finding out too much information.”

“You gave Eugenie drugs?”

“What?” Grant swallowed.

“Her letters say you gave her drugs.”

“It was...” Grant sighed. “I didn’t even know Eugenie wrote any letters.” He bit his lower lip. “Why did you tell Evie about her anyway?”

“That was a mistake.” Tyler clenched his fists. “But that’s why she has to stay.” Tyler’s voice was hoarse. “We can’t have her knowing too much. What if she found something else and didn’t tell me?”

“I don’t think this is a good idea.” Grant sounded angry. “I think we should just let her go.”

“I’m not done with her.” Tyler’s voice was loud and in control, but I could hear his anger. “And what I say goes, remember?”

“I thought I was in charge?”

“You thought a lot of things, Grant. But your time is over. If you want to continue getting paid, you’ll do as I say. Evie stays, and I want you to keep the fuck away from her.”

“She’ll never choose you over me.” Grant sounded pissed. “Especially not when she hears the truth.”

“What truth, Grant?” Tyler’s voice was soft as he spoke, and he looked at Grant with a deadly expression. I wanted to step out of the closet so I could see them better and ask them what this was all about, but I didn’t dare move. Something told me I hadn’t heard everything yet.

“Once she knows you’re the billionaire and not me,” Grant licked his lips, “and once she knows Eugenie was your ex, not mine... Once she knows, it’ll be over for you.”

“And how do you think she’ll find out?” Tyler took a step towards him, and I held my breath. If he looked to the right, he might see me. I knew if he saw me it would all be over for me. I knew he’d see the shock in my face. I knew he’d see that I was devastated. He was the billionaire? He was the one who had dated Eugenie? Why had he been trying to help me escape then?

“I’m going to tell her.” Grant’s voice boomed. “I’m going to tell her it was your decision to keep her here. I’m going to tell her it was you who wouldn’t let her leave.”

I stepped back and put my hand over my mouth in fear. I’d been duped. Well and truly duped, and I had no idea what I was going to do. My whole body froze in fright as I realized I could hear the breathing of another person next to me.

“Don’t scream,” whispered a soft voice. I bit down on my hand to stop myself from screaming, but I knew I was minutes away from collapsing. “You have to be quiet, or they’ll know we’re here,” she whispered ever so faintly. “And if they know you know the truth, you’ll be stuck here forever, just like me.”

“Who are you?” I looked slowly to the right, and my heart stopped beating as I saw her delicate features and blonde hair. I didn’t need her to answer to know who she was. I was hiding in a closet with Eugenie. The Eugenie I’d been told was dead. The Eugenie who had made this madhouse now turn even crazier. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe slowly as everything started to fade. All I could think was, ‘What are the two wolves planning to do next?’

Chapter 44

“Your face looks as though you’ve seen a ghost.” Her blue eyes looked at me with a blank stare. And then she touched her cheek self-consciously. “Excuse my lack of makeup.”

“Did you just say your name was Eugenie?” I asked her in shock. Was I going crazy? Wasn’t Eugenie dead?

“Shhh.” She put her finger to her lips and nodded towards the outside of the closet. I stood there frozen, my mind going a hundred miles a minute. What was going on here? She peeked outside the closet and watched for a few moments. “They’re fighting over you.” She made a face, her delicate features looking hard as she gazed back at me. “That doesn’t normally happen.”

“What doesn’t normally happen?”

“Shh.” She frowned at me.

“Are you Eugenie?” I said and looked at her again, my mind spinning. Eugenie was alive and Tyler was the billionaire? What was going on here? I took a step back and felt something scratching my leg sharply. “Ouch.” I exclaimed.

“Shh!” She turned to me with a snarl. “Are you deaf?”

I turned to her and blinked in shock. What was going on here? Why was she being so mean to me? And where had she come from?

“They’re gone,” she said after she’d peeked out of the closet and moved next to me. “Did you want them to see us?”

“What would they have done?” I asked breathlessly, not sure I wanted to know the answer. I pressed my hand to my forehead and took a couple of deep breaths. I felt again like I was in The Twilight Zone.

“What do you think?” She mumbled and played with her hair.

“Um, I don’t really understand what’s going on here.”

“When one is good and one is bad, you—” she said softly, her face looking like she was concentrating on getting the words right, as if she were reciting a nursery rhyme or poem.

“Who’s good and who is bad?” I interrupted her, my mind spinning out of control.

“Did you read my letters or my journal? Do you know who I am?” She frowned, her eyes never leaving my face as she changed the subject.

I nodded, feeling ashamed at having read her private words. “I read your letters.”

“I wanted you to read them. I knew you’d read them.” She nodded, a small smile on her face. “You didn’t read my journal though?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I didn’t see a journal.”

“I knew you’d read the letters though. He must have hidden the journal.” She chewed on her lower lip, and I gazed at her beautiful face, still not believing it was her in front of me.

“Why are you here, and how did you know I would read your letters?” I was beginning to feel even more confused. “What’s going on here?”

“He knows you, you know.”

“What?” My heart stopped beating. “Who knows me?”

“He knows you...” Her voice trailed off. “We all knew you.” She played with her hair again and smiled sweetly.

“What do you mean?” My face felt cold.

“He has your photo up on the wall.”

“What?” Blood drained from my face, and I looked into her eyes, searching for the truth. It wasn’t possible that either Tyler or Grant knew me. How could they know me? Why would either of them have my photo up on the wall? And which one of them was she talking about?

“Your meeting wasn’t an accident. Just like my meeting with him wasn’t an accident.” Her voice dropped. “He won’t let you leave.”

“Why?” I stepped back. “Why did he bring us here, and which one is he? Are you talking about Grant then? Grant is bad news?”

“One is good and one is bad.” She repeated in a monotone and looked down. “The good doesn’t know the bad.”

“Who is good and who is bad?” My voice rose, and I stepped forward and grasped her arms. “Tell me, I need to know.”

“It’s a pity...” She said slowly and stopped and shook her head. “I can’t say anything else.”

“You have to tell me.”

“No.” She shook her head stiffly.

“Why do they say you’re dead, Eugenie?” I muttered, thinking about the conversations I’d had about the girl in front of me. “Why?”

“Betrayal.”

“What?” I was growing annoyed at her answers. “What are you talking about?”

“I was betrayed.” She blinked.

“By who?”

“The same someone who will betray you.” Her eyes were wide. “When one is good, one is bad...” she muttered again, and I stepped back. I knew she was going to be of no help. I peeked out through the door and saw Tyler and Grant standing there again, two powerful wolves decked against each other, each man’s chest rising and falling fast as they squared off against each other. I could see the electricity sparking between the two of them as they gazed at each other obstinately. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck rising, as the cool air danced off my skin. I held my breath as I gazed at them both. Both men had an animal magnetism unlike any I’d known.

And then he turned and looked directly in my direction. Our eyes made contact, and I froze. He’d seen me. I didn’t know what to do. What was going to happen next? Was this it for me? He shook his head slightly and turned his face back to the front. He wasn’t going to out me. Why not?

I looked to the right and stared into Eugenie’s frightened face. I knew my own face reflected the shock and fear which covered hers.

“He saw me.” I whispered to her.

“One is good and one is bad.” She said again. “You have to go.”

“Go where?” I frowned. “Where are we going?”

“We’re not going anywhere.” She shook her head. “You haven’t played the game yet.”

“What game?” I breathed out, and she shook her head quickly.

“This is just the beginning for you, Evie. This is just the beginning.” And then she pushed me out of the closet and closed the door shut behind her.

* * *

I stood in the bedroom awkwardly, not wanting to be seen, but knowing it was unavoidable. Tyler looked at me with dark and impenetrable eyes as I walked towards the door. He stared at me for a few seconds and then turned back to Grant.

“Leave.” His tone changed, the anger gone and replaced by a superiority I hadn’t heard before.

“What?” Grant frowned, looking taken aback. I could only see his side profile, but I could tell he was annoyed. I scratched my arm, and he turned towards me. “You.” His lips curled up. “Been looking for me?”

I shook my head wordlessly and tried to avoid his gaze. I wanted to ask them if they knew Eugenie was still alive and hiding in their house, but something told me to keep my mouth shut. She’d said one was good and one was bad, and I wasn’t sure which was which.

“Leave.” Tyler’s voice rose and his eyes narrowed as he stared at Grant. “Now.”

“She was mine first,” Grant muttered bitterly. “We haven’t finished with the—”

“Enough.” Tyler’s voice was loud, and he gestured to me. “Come.”

I walked over to him slowly, worried about what was going to happen next. My mind felt fuzzy and slightly heavy. All of a sudden my body felt extremely tired and weary. There was a slight buzz of electricity in the air as I stood next to the two men, my body on high alert.

“Why did you lie to me?” I stared at Tyler, my eyes blazing. “If you’re a billionaire, why do you pretend to be a driver? And why won’t you let me leave? What’s going on here?” My voice rose, and even though it was shaking slightly, it was strong and forceful. The two men looked at each other for a second before turning back to me. The air suddenly changed, and it felt a good ten degrees cooler within seconds.

“Evie, Evie, Evie,” Grant’s blue eyes pierced into mine intently, warm and teasing and I was taken back to the night in the club where he had been my savior. “Why have you betrayed me? What have you done?”

“I didn’t do—”

“Stop.” Tyler’s voice was dark and distant, his blue eyes surveyed me coldly. “You’ve said and done enough, Evie.”

“I didn’t say anything. I just want some answers.” I snapped at him, all of a sudden regaining my energy and strength again. I wasn’t a little pussycat. I wasn’t just going to sit here and wait for something to happen to me. Not now. That wasn’t who I was. “I want to know what’s going on here. Are you a billionaire?” I looked at Tyler and waited for him to respond.

“Does money matter to you?” He cocked his head and stared at me, his eyes never leaving my face.

“She slept with me for five grand, what do you think?” Grant laughed, but the sound wasn’t humorous. He sounded dark and bitter and mean. My stomach flared at his comment, but I couldn’t even say anything. What could I say in response to that? I had slept with him, though technically it hadn’t been for money. It had been for lust, for fun. It had been for the feeling of being alive and wanted. It had been to prolong the feeling of electricity that had come when Grant had touched me. But now that I’d slept with Tyler as well, it was all confusing. The sparks between Tyler and I held a hint of danger that I couldn’t stop myself from being intrigued by. Something my brain was trying to chase me away from, but I just didn’t know how to distance myself from him now that his forces were drawing me in to him.

“You think you’re hot stuff?” I turned to face Grant. “You think pretending to have money is cool?”

“You have no idea who I am.” Grant grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him. “You need to trust me, Evie,” he whispered in my ear so softly I thought I imagined it.

“Step back.” Tyler’s voice was quiet, and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. I knew what deathly quiet meant now. I looked over at him, my heart beating wildly, and his eyes were narrowed.

Grant seemed to understand that Tyler meant business, because he dropped my arm and retreated down the corridor. I stood there watching Grant walk away for a few seconds before Tyler grabbed my arm and pulled me into a room.

“Close the door.” He commanded me as we entered.

“Why?”

“There’s something you don’t know.”

“What don’t I know? That you’re a liar?”

“Evie, why do you play these games?”

“What games am I playing? You’re the one playing the games.” I stared at him with a confused expression. My head felt like it was going to fall off.

“Just answer me. I’m here, Evie. I’m ready and waiting.”

“Waiting for what?”

“What do you think?” He pushed me back into the wall, his arm above my shoulder, and his hardness pressed into my stomach.

“I don’t know.” I swallowed hard as his lips came dangerously close to mine. “I don’t know anymore.”

“Then you’re a fool.”

I stared up at him, searching his eyes to find out what he was thinking. I wanted some answers. I needed to know what was going on, but all I could think about was what Eugenie had told me. I was about to ask him a question about how Eugenie had died when I stopped myself. I didn’t want him to know I knew too much. My body froze as he kissed me, his tongue sliding into my mouth easily and roughly taking possession of me. My head was pounding, and my heart felt like I’d just run a marathon as I kissed him back. Suddenly, I heard a loud noise and jumped.

“What’s wrong?” He pulled away from me, his eyes gazing into mine intently.

“What’s that?” I pointed to the corner of the room where I’d heard the noise coming from and blinked as I realized there was nothing there. It was completely empty, and there was nothing that could have made a noise.

“What’s what?” He frowned and followed my arm.

“I thought I heard someone or something hitting the floor.” I bit my lower lip. I had been absolutely positive I’d heard something loud.

“Maybe it was foreshadowing.”

“Foreshadowing?”

“Yeah, maybe you were imagining the sound we would make as we fell to the floor together, you pulling my pants off furiously so you could get my hard cock inside you.”

“That’s not the noise I heard.” I shook my head and attempted to take a step back, but his grip on me was too tight.

“Well then maybe it was you imagining us falling to the floor and me ripping your panties off before I took over your body.” He smirked, as his fingers ran down my neck. “I like the sound of both of those ideas.”

“You didn’t answer my question earlier.” I asserted myself, not wanting to succumb to him without getting any answers.

“So?” He smirked again, his fingers running to my right breast.

“I want answers.”

“I want you.”

“Tell me what’s going on?” I whispered. “Why did you guys bring me here?”

“Do you really want to know the answer, Evie?” He leaned forward and sucked on my lower lip, his eyes never leaving mine as his teeth nibbled and claimed me.

“Yes, I want to know.” I nodded and swallowed. “I need to know.”

“I don’t want you to know.” He shook his head and pulled my arms above my head. “Once you know the truth, that’ll be it.”

“What does that mean?”

“That’ll mean you know my secrets.” He pushed me back against the wall and positioned himself up against me. “And once you know my secrets....” His voice trailed off as he kissed my neck. I could feel his breathing was rough and hard as he kissed me feverishly. My own breathing was labored as well and my arms were starting to feel tired in their position above my head.

“And once I know your secrets, what?” I whispered and moaned as he bit down on my neck.

“Once you know my secrets, you’re mine forever.” He growled. “Once you know everything, you cannot leave.”

“Ever?” I swallowed hard, but he didn’t answer me. Instead he moved closer to me and ran his fingers down my arms, his fingernails digging into my skin. “Ever?” I whispered again, my brain scrambling, but I was too caught up in his spell to know or care what he meant by saying I could never leave.

Chapter 45

He continued to kiss and suck on my neck for a few minutes and then his mouth moved lower, sucking on my breasts through my top, making me ache for him.

“Tyler, we need to—” I groaned as he sucked on my nipple through the fine material of my shirt.

“We need to nothing.” He groaned and pulled away, licking his lips. “There’s only one thing that could make this moment more perfect.”

“What’s that?” I asked breathlessly, my panties wet, anticipating our mating.

“You on your knees in front of me. Your ass sticking up in the air. My hands grabbing your hips. My boxers coming off. Your panties to the side. My—”

“No, that wouldn’t make this moment better. Not until you tell me why you said you were the chauffeur when you’re really a billionaire.”

“You’re obsessed with the fact that I have money, aren’t you?”

“No.” I was hurt he would think that. “I’m not obsessed with money at all.”

“What’s your story, Evie Johnson?” He cocked his head and smiled at me. “What’s got you here with me?”

“My roommate needed me to work for her and I said yes.” I said simply.

“It was that easy for you, was it?”

“Of course it wasn’t.”

“I know you have questions, Evie, but right now there are no answers.”

“There are always answers.”

“There are no answers I can give you.” His hands squeezed my breasts before pulling my top up. He ripped my bra down the middle, and I gasped at the sound of the material being torn apart.

“Hey, I really liked that bra.” I moaned as his lips fell to my right nipple and sucked, his teeth gently tugging and sending ripples of pleasure through my body.

“I liked it too.” He looked up at me, his eyes dancing. “But I like your breasts even more.”

“Tyler.” I pulled his hand back. “This isn’t the right time.”

“It’s always the right time.” He groaned, but stepped back. “I love touching you, your skin is so silky, so soft, and so ready to be touched by me.”

“Why do your words turn me on so much?” I groaned and felt my face growing red as I realized I’d spoken the words out loud.

“Dance for me.” He licked his lips. “Show me your best dance, Evie.”

“My best dance?”

“Show me your best lap dance.” He licked his lips lightly again, and I stared at the tip of his tongue, remembering the feel of it on my lips and inside of me. “And I’ll decide what tip I want to give you.”

“I’m not giving you a lap dance,” I said indignantly, feeling quite insulted. “And what do you mean what tip you’ll give me? How rude you are!”

“You wouldn’t give me a lap dance, even if said the lap dance was worth one million dollars?”

“No lap dance is worth a million dollars.” I shook my head.

“What if I said it was?” His fingers reached forward and pinched my nipples as he stared at me. “What if I said I thought a lap dance from you could be worth up to two million dollars?”

“I’d say you were crazy.” My heart was racing. Was he serious?

“No one ever said I was sane.” He grinned.

“You’re going to give me two million dollars to give you a lap dance?” I searched his face. I guess now I knew he was the billionaire - he wasn’t being shy about money.

“I’m going to give you two million dollars if you give me the best lap dance of your life...” He paused and stretched before looking back at me. “And you have to do it in front of Grant.”

“What do you mean, do it in front of Grant?” I frowned, my stomach dropping. Was this when he was going to say he wanted me to give Grant a lap dance as well?

“Grant is going to watch you dance for me.” His eyes blazed. “He’s going to watch you doing everything you can to please me. And that way he will know you are mine.”

“I’m not yours.” I swallowed.

“You’re not his.”

“I’m neither of yours.”

“Why are you fighting this, Evie?” He sounded angry, and I bit my lower lip anxiously.

“I don’t understand what’s going on here,” I spoke up, not liking the way I was feeling. Why was I the one feeling as if I’d done something wrong? Tyler and Grant were the crazy ones.

“Why must anything be going on? Didn’t you come home with Grant because you wanted a little spice? You wanted a change?” His voice dropped as his eyes issued me a challenge.

“I don’t know why I came,” I mumbled, and I looked down, trying to forget all the Friday and Saturday nights I’d sat at home feeling sorry for myself. I’d tried so hard for my entire life to be different from my mother. I’d never wanted to be so dependent on a man that I let myself down. I never wanted to need a man so bad I couldn’t function. I’d never wanted sex to control me. I’d tried so hard to make sure it never happened that I’d ended up with no life. And every week had rolled into the same thing. I’d always been slightly envious of Hailey going off every weekend on adventures of sin. I’d always wondered what it would be like to be desired and wanted. I’d always wondered what it would be like to just give my body and myself without thinking of the consequences. And it had happened. It had already happened, and I wasn’t sure if I’d made the right decision or not.

“You came because your life was mundane. You came because you were ready for a thrill. You came because you like to take risks. There’s nothing wrong with that.” He grinned. “Nothing at all.”

“How did you know?” I asked, surprised that he knew exactly what my life had been like.

“I feel like I know you, Evie. I feel like you’re the one girl I’ve always been waiting for.”

“Why did you warn me off the first night then?” I asked softly, wanting him to say he couldn’t stand the thought of me being with Grant. It was irrational and stupid to want him to admit feelings of jealousy. He didn’t even know me. There were no emotions between us. There was no reason for him to be jealous. In fact, if he was jealous, it might be a sign of obsession or possessiveness, but I knew deep inside I didn’t care.

“I didn’t know if you could handle it.” He took his shirt off slowly, and I stared at his chest and swallowed. What was he planning now?

“Handle what?” I asked, my voice dropping as I watched him undoing his pants and pulling them down. He stood in front of me in just his boxer shorts, and I could see his cock was hard and ready.

“The two of us. The games Grant plays.” He stepped forward and unbuttoned my pants before stopping and looking up at me for a second.

“And now?” I said, barely breathing.

“And now I know you can. And I’m done playing Grant’s game.”  He leaned forward and ran his finger down my cheek. “I knew you were different. I knew you were a woman who could change things.” His hands went back to my pants, and he pulled them down smoothly.

“Change what?” I asked softly as I lifted one foot up after the other. He dropped my pants on the ground and stood there in front of me, staring at my naked breasts and then down to my panties.

“Everything,” he groaned as he slipped a finger down the front of my panties and between my legs. “I want to feel myself inside you. I want to take you. I need to be in you right now. I need you on top of me, grinding your pussy on my cock until you explode.” He groaned and licked his lips, his finger rubbing me more urgently. “But good things come to those who wait. I want you to go and change.”

“Change for what?” I said with a whimper as the pressure of his finger grew rougher. I could feel my juices making his journey slicker.

“We’re going out,” he whispered in my ear as he slipped a finger inside me.

“Out?” My eyes widened, and I cried out as another finger entered my panties.

“You’re going to give me a lap dance, right?” He laughed and rubbed both of his fingers across my clit. “It would be creepy if it were just me and Grant in a room. We’re going to a special club.”

“The club where you guys picked me up?” I bit down on my lower lip and stepped my legs apart. I needed to feel him harder and deeper. I needed him to continue what he was doing with his fingers. I needed to come, my body was demanding it.

“Oh no.” He laughed, and his fingers slowed their pace. “A special club. A club I haven’t frequented in a while.”

“We’re going to a club for me to give you a lap dance?” I said with a pout as he withdrew his fingers. I knew my expression looked unhappy, because that was how I felt inside.

“No, we’re going to the club so you can get to know me and what I like.” His voice lowered to a drawl. “And you can see what you’re getting yourself into. If you don’t like it, you can leave, no questions asked.” He moved his hand up to his mouth and slipped two fingers into his mouth and sucked, his eyes not leaving mine.

“No questions asked?” I looked at him suspiciously. “Really?” I watched him sucking his fingers, and I felt even more aroused.

“Really.” He nodded as he smiled and pulled the fingers out of his mouth. “If you’re not into it, you’re out of here if you want to be.”

“Just like that?” I said softly and watched as he reached into his boxers.

“Just like that.” He smiled as his fingers grabbed his cock. “It’s really quite simple, Evie. You’re free to leave at any time. No one has stopped you, have they?” I watched as his hand moved back and forth gently.

“Well, no.” I said slowly. “But...” I couldn’t remove my eyes from the front of his boxers.

“But what?” He said softly.

“You and Grant both said I couldn’t leave.”

“We didn’t do anything to stop you from walking out the door, did we?” He grunted, and I watched as he pulled his boxers completely off. His cock stood at attention, and I swallowed hard as I stared at it, throbbing. My panties were soaked, and I just needed to touch him.

“No.” I agreed. “You didn’t.” I took a step towards him and reached my hand out slowly.

“You have two arms and two legs and can leave whenever you want.” Tyler’s eyes pierced into mine as I took his cock into my hand and moved my palm and fingers up and down his member roughly.

“Okay.” I licked my lips and stared at him as my fingers continued gliding up and down his cock. He was gazing at me as if he were waiting for another response. I wasn’t sure why I just stood there beating him off. I could escape and walk out the door and forget all the craziness. I could chalk it up to one of those wild and crazy nights many of my friends had had in college. It wasn’t like I was the first girl to have casual sex or even to sleep with two men in the same week.

I had a friend in college who had slept with two friends in the same night and it wasn’t a threesome. She went home with one guy, slept with him, and then crawled into his friend’s bed while he was asleep and fucked him too. She’d thought it was hilarious. Granted, she was known as the slut in our group, but nothing in her life had changed. None of us had thought she was a bad person. She was just young, fun, and enjoying herself. ‘Experimenting with her sexuality’ was what Hailey had always said about our mutual friend. “If Lizzy can do it, why can’t you, Evie?” She’d lectured on at me when everyone else had been sleeping around and having fun and I’d been studying and dating one guy at a time.

“So we’re on?” His voice was deep now, and I knew he was close to coming as his body was rock hard and still.

“Sure, why not.” I shrugged and got down on my knees in front of him.

“You’re my kind of girl, you know that, right?” He grinned. “I can’t wait for tonight.”

“Yeah, I guess it will be an adventure.” I looked up at him and winked before taking him into my mouth and sucking on the tip of his cock. His pre-cum was salty and sweet, and I bobbed my head back and forth, taking him as deep into my mouth as I could.

“It’ll be the adventure of your dreams.” His eyes darkened, and his head went back as I sucked him off. I could feel the power of his body seeping as I caressed his hardness in my mouth. I could feel the power entering my body. I was in charge here. I was in charge of him, a billionaire. He wanted me. He was putty in my hands. Or rather, in my mouth. I sucked softly and gently, and he grabbed my hair and started pushing my head back and forth as he pulled my hair.

“Don’t stop, Evie,” he groaned before I felt him exploding in my mouth. I swallowed his release eagerly, not feeling ashamed that I’d brought him to explosion. I stood up slowly and his eyes were dark with desire. He reached over, grabbed my panties, pulled them down, and then groaned.

“Lie on the floor,” he commanded me, and I obeyed quickly.

“Spread your legs,” he said next and I did so, closing my eyes excitedly, waiting to feel his tongue or cock inside of me. I didn’t care which one. I could hear my breathing as I lay there, but nothing happened. I opened my eyes slowly and looked up to see him staring down at me.

“You’re beautiful.” He stared at my body for a few more seconds. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.” He exited the room, and I lay there for a few seconds, barely breathing. Where was he going? And if everything was getting hot and heated now, what was tonight going to bring?

* * *

“You’re too pretty to be taken in by Tyler.” Grant crept into the room and closed the door behind him, making me jump up in shame. My fingers were still wet from where I’d been playing with myself.

“What are you doing?” I frowned as I looked around for my top to cover myself. “Tyler will be right back.”

“Tyler is playing a game with you.” Grant’s blue eyes surveyed my face and then dropped to my pussy. “Don’t fall for it.”

“Let me guess, you’re the man for me?” I pulled my top on quickly, feeling my nipples poking through the top.

“No, I’m not.” He shook his head. “I’m not the man for anyone. But a night …” His eyes dropped to my pussy again, and I quickly grabbed my panties up from the floor and slipped them back on.

“I don’t want just a night.” I took a step back from him. And tried to forget that I had just slept with him the night before.

“Nights are all you get here, Evie. We don’t do fairytales here.” He paused and smiled. “Well, that’s not exactly true; we do the beginnings of fairytales, just not the endings.”

“What does that mean?” I frowned at him, not liking the look on his face.

“Do you remember when we met in the club?” His fingers grabbed a piece of my hair, and he pulled me towards him. “You were so innocent, so in need of a Prince Charming, so in need of me.” He grabbed my hips and pulled me towards him.

“I wasn’t in need of you.” I shook my head and pushed away from him.

“Your hair is so silky and smooth.” He pulled it up to his nose and sniffed. “Lavender petals.”

“What?” I stepped back.

“Your hair smells like lavender petals.” He stepped forward and pressed his face against my chest. “And your skin smells like rose petals.”

“Please stop.” I pushed him away, and his eyes looked hurt.

“You didn’t say that the other night.”

“I made a mistake.” I pushed against his chest. “You’re not the one I want.”

“You need to hurry up and leave.” He sounded angry as he grabbed my arms and pulled me towards him. “You need to leave now before you can’t.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said loudly.

“Evie.” The door banged, and Tyler’s voice was angry. “Open up.”

“Leave, Evie,” Grant implored me as he stepped back.

“Tyler, I’m in here. Grant locked the door,” I shouted out, scared by Grant and not sure what he wanted to do to me.

Grant shook his head as I spoke and he leaned forward. “Tyler said he wasn’t playing my game, Evie. He didn’t say he wasn’t playing any games at all.” He grabbed my head, and I could feel his breath in my ear as Grant whispered, “The game has changed, Evie. This game is about more than a threesome. This game is about everything.” He pulled back and opened the door and Tyler burst into the room.

“What’s going on?” Tyler looked furiously between the two of us.

“I was just telling her I’m still open to a threesome if she is.” Grant smiled and licked his lips. “It could be fun.”

“There will be no threesome,” Tyler spat out, his face tense. “What are you playing at, Grant?”

“I don’t know, Tyler. What am I playing at?”

“You think you’re funny?”

“No, not funny.” Grant shook his head and looked at me and mouthed. “You need to leave.”

“We’re going to let you sleep, Evie.” Tyler frowned. “You’ve had enough activity today. We’re going to let you sleep. We’re not going to the club tonight anymore. We will go tomorrow. And Grant and I are going to talk tonight.”

“Oh, okay.” I offered him a weak smile. “Good night.”

“Good night, Evie.” Tyler kissed my cheek and stepped back.

“Good night, Sleeping Beauty,” Grant said softly and slipped out of the room quickly. Tyler followed after him and closed the door behind him.

I stood there for a few minutes wondering if they’d locked me in. I tried to open the door and it turned easily. I peeked into the hallway and realized I could leave if I wanted to. I could walk out of the doors and forget this had happened. I could remove myself from this situation, but I didn’t want to.

For all the craziness, I felt more alive than I’d ever felt in my life. I was going to wait. I was going to wait and see what happened. I wanted to know Tyler’s story, and I wanted to know what was going on with Eugenie. I walked to the bed and lay down and closed my eyes. The room was still filled with light, but I didn’t think it was odd I was going to bed while there was still daylight. Nothing about this situation felt odd anymore. I turned over and stared at the door.

I didn’t even jump when I saw the door open slowly. I didn’t jump when I saw the eyes peeking in. I didn’t ask who was there. I just turned over and waited to see what was going to happen. My body was still throbbing and waiting for a climax. I was hoping Tyler would join me in the bed to finish what he started, but then I heard the door closing and a lock turning. I knew what it meant. My opportunity to leave was now gone. I was stuck in this room for the night. All by myself. There would be no visitors and no lovemaking tonight. And after I thought about it, I was glad for it. Tonight I needed to sleep and get my wits together. I had a feeling tomorrow was going to be a crazy day.

Chapter 46

I walked into the bathroom the next morning and closed the door, my heart pounding, thinking about the day ahead. I wasn’t really sure what was going on. Were Tyler and Grant playing me? Was this some sort of test? I was about to take my clothes off and go into the shower when I heard a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” I called out, hoping not to hear Grant’s voice. There was no vocal response, just another knock on the door. “Who is it?” I said again and there was another light knock. I tried the handle and someone had unlocked it because it opened slowly. I saw Eugenie standing in front of me.

“Come.” She looked around frantically and grabbed my hand and yanked my arm. I followed behind her and she looked into the corridor carefully before running with me to a room down the hallway and pushing open the door.

“Hurry, come with me. We’ll be safe here,” she whispered as she locked the doors. “No one can get in.”

“I don’t know if this is a good idea.” I put my hand on the doorknob.

“There are things you need to know before you decide to move forward.”

“Move forward with what?” I looked at Eugenie again. Her face looked different today. It wasn’t as pale and white as it had been the day before. She had on a full face of makeup, and she didn’t look as scared. In fact, she looked positively radiant. It didn’t make sense to me, how she could look so scared and ethereal one day and radiate confidence and beauty the next.

“Tick tock goes the clock,” she said again, and I wondered if she was crazy. Either she was crazy or I was. At this point in time, I wasn’t sure which one was the most true.

“What did you mean when you told me one is good and one is bad?” I questioned her, not bothering to ask her about her tick tock goes the clock comment.

“One sibling is good and one is bad.” She spoke slowly, looking around anxiously.

“They’re brothers?” My jaw dropped. “No way, they can’t be brothers.” They did both have blue eyes, but they looked nothing alike. Grant was dark and mysterious, like some unknown Greek God, where Tyler was blond and Viking-like. Both men were strong and handsome, but both were unique and independent. I refused to believe they were brothers. It would make everything so much sicker.

“I’ve said too much already.”

“Eugenie, please.”

“Cain and Abel. Evil and good.”

“So they are brothers? Is that what you’re saying? They’re brothers?” I frowned. “And who is Cain and who is Abel? Tell me!”

“No.” She bit down on her lower lip. “I can’t say anything else.”

“You’re confusing me.” I grabbed her shoulders. “I need to know what you’re talking about. I have a test tonight. They say they’re taking me somewhere. To some club. Where are they taking me? What are they expecting me to do? Tyler says I’m to give him a lap dance while Grant watches, but what does it mean? Does it mean they want to see if I’m willing to have a threesome? Is that what they really want?”

“Tick tock, tick tock.” She giggled. “Tick tock goes the clock.”

I stifled a sigh as I stood next to her. Eugenie acted like a child, and I didn’t understand why. There were many things I didn’t understand, and I was starting to think I was going crazy. Or maybe the drugs had friend her brain.

“What are you going to write?” She suddenly turned to me, with an angelic smile and serious eyes.

“What?” I wasn’t able to stop myself from showing my irritation.

“What are you going to write?” She asked innocently.

“Write where?”

“In your journal.”

“What journal?”

“The one he’s going to make you write.”

“What are you talking about?” I gazed at her. “Who is going to make me write a journal?”

“You read my journal, right?”

“No, I read your letters, remember? I didn’t see a journal.”

“I didn’t write the journal because I wanted to.” She continued on as if I hadn’t said anything. “Or the letters.”

“Huh?” My heart started beating faster.

“I wrote them all because I had to.”

“You had to?”

“I didn’t mind at first.” She shook her head. “Not until he tied me up.”

“Tied you up?”

“He likes to use chains and rope.” She looked at me with wide eyes. “He has whips and…” Her voice trailed off. “I shouldn’t say anything else.”

“Did he hurt you?” I asked her softly.

“Tick tock, tick tock. Tick tock goes the clock,” she said again, and I stood up and put my fingers in my ears to ignore the sound.

“Open the door, Eugenie. I want to leave.” I mouthed the words to her slowly, and she finally opened the door for me.

“Don’t tell them you saw me. He’ll be angry.”

“Who’ll be angry?”

“Cain.”

“Which one of them is Cain?” I was angry, and I grabbed her shoulders. “Speak English to me, Eugenie. I need some real answers here.”

“It might be different with you.” Her eyes widened. “You’re different.”

“What do you mean? How am I different?”

“He, he might like you.” She chewed on her lower lip. “You could be different.”

“Why are you still here?” I stared into her eyes. “I can help you leave if you want. We can work together and leave. You’ll be safe.”

“No.” She shook her head. “That’s not the game. That’s not how it goes.”

“Then how does it go?” I asked softly. “How does it go?”

“It’s the journal, the journal is the sign.” Her eyes glazed over. “He reads them. He wants to know everything. He needs to know everything.”

“Who?”

“You like one more than the other, don’t you?” Suddenly she appeared to be lucid again. “I’ve never seen that before. You like Tyler. Normally they like Grant. He’s the most charismatic one. But that’s because they don’t know. They just don’t know.” She nodded and appeared pleased. “You’re not dumb, are you? You like Tyler and he likes you.”

“I don’t like Tyler.” I shook my head.

“He never slept with any of the others.” She mouthed to me. “Not even me.”

“What do you mean?” My heart started racing. “I thought this was something they both did together.”

“Grant’s the cruel one. He gets off on it all.” She held my hands. “He’s sadistic, he likes the pain and the pleasure. They’ll take you to a club.”

“What club? The club I’m going to tonight? Is that what you’re talking about?” My brain was working furiously. “So Tyler is the good one?”

“I think you’ll be my salvation.” She said suddenly, her eyes blazing as she stared at me.

“So Grant is the bad one?” I asked her desperately.

“Go now. They’ll wonder where you are.” She looked upset all of a sudden. “Tick tock goes the clock.”

“What does that mean?” I frowned.

“You know you’re caught in the game when you hear the tick tock.” She whispered softly. “Tick Tock goes the clock.” She pushed me towards the door. “Now leave.”

I left the room, feeling disoriented and shaky. How had Eugenie known I liked Tyler more than Grant? And what had she meant by saying I was to be her salvation? Was she counting on me to help her get away? If so, who was keeping her here? And why? If Grant was Cain and Tyler was Abel, did that mean Grant was the evil one and he was doing things behind Tyler’s back? How could they both believe Eugenie was dead? Obviously one of them knew the truth, but then why lie? Why pretend she was dead? It didn’t make any sense to me. And even more importantly, I wanted to know what was going to happen at the club. What was the test and what had I gotten myself into?

* * *

“There you are.” Tyler’s voice boomed from behind me and made me jump.

“Hey.” I turned around and smiled weakly, scared my face would give away my secret. “I was just going to shower.” I looked away from him, my mind still on what Eugenie had said.

“Is that an invitation?” He grinned as his arms slid around my waist.

“Not really.” I shook my head.

“Let me show you something.”

“What?”

“The best way to get clean.” He grinned and grabbed my hand. “I’m going to show you the best way to shower.”

“But you just showered.” I touched the top of his head. “Your hair is still wet.”

“That’s not the only thing I want to be wet.”

“You want your legs to be wet as well?” I joked, and he laughed.

“Yeah, I want my legs to be wet with your cum.”

“Tyler!”

“What? You asked.” He grinned and opened the door to a room I hadn’t been in before. “This is my room.”

“Wow.” I looked around the room in surprise. It looked nothing like the rest of the house. There was a giant king sized bed in the middle of the room with a white duvet. The windows had large bamboo drapes, and there was a huge vase of flowers on a large vanity. “I like your room.”

“It’s not all black and grey.” He nodded and closed the door behind him. “That surprises you, doesn’t it?”

“Well, I was thinking it would be navy blue.” I laughed. “Or deep purple.”

“I don’t do purple.” He laughed and I watched his face transform into a boyish look. “My sister loved purple though. Purple and pink were her colors. I remember when I had to paint her room half pink and half purple. It looked awful, but she loved it.”

“It’s great you did that for her.”

“I’d do anything for her.” The smile left his face. “Come, let’s shower.”

“You were being serious?” I followed him into his all-white bathroom.

“I never joke about showers.” He lifted his t-shirt off and leaned into the shower stall and turned it on.

“I’m glad you take cleanliness so seriously.”

“Cleanliness is next to Godliness.” He pulled his boxers off and winked at me.

“I don’t think God approves of you having threesomes with strange women.”

“Then say some Hail Mary’s for me.” He grinned. “Please.”

“Well, now you said please.” I laughed, and my breath caught as he stepped forward and pulled my top off.

“I missed you last night.”

“You’re the one who left me.”

“I wanted to give you time to think.”

“Think about what?” I held my breath as he pulled my panties down.

“How bad you want me inside you.”

“You’re full of yourself.”

“I’d rather you be full of me.” He pulled me towards him and crushed my breasts against his chest.

“What do you have planned for tonight at the club?”

“A lap dance.” He kissed me softly as his hands squeezed my ass.

“That’s it?”

“Is that ever it?” He grinned.

“What else?”

“I want what Grant never got.” He bit down on my lower lip, and I cried out as he lifted me into the shower with him.

“What’s that?”

“I want a full lap dance.”

“A full lap dance?” I asked him in confusion as the water scalded down on my skin.

“Think back to the night you met Grant.”

“Yeah, so?” I thought back and it hit me. “Oh.” I’d stopped the lap dance when Grant had taken his cock out and asked me to rub up and down on him naked.

“Oh, indeed.” He grabbed a bar of soap and rubbed it across my breasts. “I want him to see what he missed.”

“Why?” I whispered.

“So he knows you’re mine.” He pushed me back against the wall. “So he knows there’s no chance for him. You give me what you deny him.”

“Tyler,” I groaned as he lifted me up.

“Wrap your legs around my waist,” he said roughly, and I felt him guiding his cock inside me.

“Oh!” I screamed as his cock entered me hard and fast. I held onto his shoulders tightly, my body slipping down the wall. “Tyler!” I screamed again, as he lifted me up slightly and adjusted my body again. “Oh, oh, oh,” I cried out as the water ran down our bodies. My breasts were bouncing against his chest as he entered me fast, his cock sliding in and out easily as I felt my pussy trembling. “Oh!” I screamed again as I bit down into his shoulder, my body convulsing on him as I came, hard and fast.

“Oh, Evie.” He groaned and stilled as he came inside me. We stood there for a few seconds before he placed me back on the floor and we continued washing off silently.

“It’s never been like this before,” he said softly as he got out of the shower and opened a towel for me.

“I’m sure that’s what you say all the time,” I said awkwardly, but then remembered what Eugenie had said. She’d said he hadn’t slept with any of the other girls before. How had they had threesomes if he hadn’t slept with them?

“You were stupid to come here you know,” he sighed as he wrapped me in the towel.

“Why?”

“You didn’t know what would happen.”

“I still don’t know,” I said honestly. “But you’ll protect me from Grant, won’t you?”

“Of course I will.” He kissed the top of my head and held me close to him, but a voice entered my head and shouted at me. Who will protect you from Tyler, Evie? Who will protect you from Tyler?

* * *

“I want to know more about you, Evie. What did you go to school for? What do you want to do? What are your goals?” He asked as we walked down the hallway to the study, freshly showered and clothed.

“I studied journalism and business in school.” I shrugged. “I wanted to be an investigative reporter, but all I have is the debt, not the job.” I sighed.

“You took out loans for school?”

“Yeah, about ten.” I sighed and looked away from him. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“There are three things I can do to you.” He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. “And there are three things you can do for me.”

“What do you want me to do?” I took a deep breath, my eyes never leaving his.

“The question is what do you want to do?” He smirked, his fingers digging into my skin.

“It’s not really up to me though, is it?” I swallowed hard as his lips pressed down on my neck and he kissed me softly. Then I felt his teeth grazing my skin and biting down and sucking hard. It wasn’t the shock of his bite that made my legs crumple though, it was the sudden thrust of manhood that pressed into my ass as he held me. “What’s going on?” I whispered as I looked into his eyes. He was standing in front of me, and that meant there was someone else behind me. Someone else was touching me.

“What do you want to be going on?” He stepped back and let go of my hand. I spun around to face Grant, but there was no one there. “Looking for someone, Evie?” Tyler said softly. “Or should I say hoping to see someone?”

“No.” I shook my head, my face red. Was I finally losing it? He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me towards him and whispered in my ear.

“You have to be very careful, Evie. The games have just begun, and whatever you think you know is all wrong.” He paused and then whispered again. “I know I’m not the only one with secrets here. I know your secrets, too.”

“What are you talking about? What games? What secrets? And who was just touching me?”

“No one was touching you, Evie. No one but me.” He stared at me, and I stared back at him, my mind racing. I could have sworn I felt someone touching me, just like I could have sworn I heard a noise the day before. What was going on? “Did you wish someone else was touching you?”

“No, of course not.” I shook my head.

“Good.” He smiled and kissed my nose. “Let’s grab something to eat.”

“I’m just going to go to the restroom, okay?” I stopped and turned around. “I’ll be right back.” I ran to the room I’d been staying in and walked into the bathroom, closed the door, and splashed water on my face. I sat on the toilet for a few seconds and then stood back up and looked in the mirror and studied my face. I looked the same as I remembered. I held fingers up and counted them. I was pretty sure I was counting them correctly. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Argh!” I jumped as I came face to face with Tyler. “What are you doing?”

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said innocently while studying my face. “You hurried off rather quickly then. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t being sick.”

“I’m fine.” I nodded and walked ahead of him out of the room. I saw Grant standing at the end of the hallway with two long chains. He grinned at me and moved the chains along his chest before disappearing as Tyler came out behind me.

“I’m going to cook something for you.” Tyler grabbed my hand. “Do you like omelets?”

“Sure.” I nodded at him as we walked back down the corridor. Then I heard the door close behind us. I turned around quickly, but there was no one there. Tyler didn’t seem to notice, but I couldn’t stop the wild beating of my heart or the voice in my head telling me to go back into the room. “Hold on one second, I forgot to flush the toilet,” I said softly and ran back to the room and looked around. I heard the water running from the toilet bowl and ran into the bathroom quickly. There was no one there, and I looked around frantically to see if I’d missed anything. It was then I saw the photo taped to the back of the door. I pulled it off the back of the door and gasped as I stared at an image of Hailey and I sitting at a coffee shop. It had to have been taken at least a couple of weeks before.

Who had put the photo in the room? And who had taken it? It seemed to me there was a lot more going on here. Maybe Eugenie wasn’t crazy after all. Maybe Grant really had been focused on me before he met me that night. And maybe Tyler really did know secrets about me? What could he know? He couldn’t know everything, could he? I felt my face heating up as I walked back through the bedroom. This changed everything. There was only one secret I wanted to keep hidden. There was only one thing I’d ever done in my life that was bad. They couldn’t possibly know what I’d done though? Could they? I walked out of the room with bells ringing in my ears.

“Everything okay, Evie?” Tyler waited at the end of the hallway for me with a worried expression, and I nodded, my eyes focusing on his handsome face, his blond hair seeming to glow like the sun.

“Everything okay, Sleeping Beauty?” Grant’s voice came from the other end of the hallway, and I turned around to face him, his face dark and devilish as he stared at me. I gazed into his blue eyes, and I shivered at his expression. All of a sudden, I understood his comment. He knew. He knew what I’d done. He was the Cain. He was the bad one, only he was a lot worse than I’d thought.

“I’m fine.” I nodded, my face white as a ghost.

“Good,” he said softly. “I’d hate for anything to happen while you were staying with us.” He walked towards me. “I’d hate for you to make any wrong decisions. I’d absolutely hate it.”

“What are you doing?” I whispered as he grabbed my wrist.

“Think carefully about who you choose, Evie.” He kissed my cheek and then whispered in my ear. “You don’t want to end up like Eugenie: alive, but dead inside.”

“You know?” My eyes widened, and he laughed.

“There’s only one wolf running this house, Evie.” He stepped back as Tyler walked towards us. I could hear the anger in his quick steps as he thundered towards us. “Tyler.” He said softly, taking another step back. “Come to save the Princess?” He laughed and looked at me with deadly eyes. “I told you, Evie, there are no fairytale endings here.”

“You lost, Grant.” I said loudly and firmly. “Leave me alone. I don’t want you.”

“Have you ever had two men before, Evie?” He licked his lips. “You might find you quite like it.”

“That’s enough.” Tyler’s voice was cold.

“It’ll never be enough.” Grant shook his head and turned away. “Until tonight, you two. Enjoy yourselves until tonight.” And then he walked away.

“Why is he still here?” I turned to Tyler. “Why do we have to do this whole thing tonight?”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Tyler said softly and grabbed my hands. “This is the only way I can protect you, Evie. You must play this game through with me. It’s the only way.”

“It’s the only way we can win?” I asked softly, searching his face. He stared at me for a few seconds and answered softly. “It’s just the only way,” he said, leading me to the kitchen.

Chapter 47

“Evie, do you know there are two things I absolutely love about you?” Tyler sat in his big red leather chair and stared at me.

“No.” I shook my head and looked around the sparse room. Aside from the chair, the room was vacant. We’d eaten in silence and then Tyler had brought me to this room. I had no idea why, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know, either.

“I love that you’re open with your sexuality.” He grinned. “And I love that you’re fearless.”

“I’m neither of those things.” I shook my head and looked down.

“You’re not the first girl who’s been here.” He frowned. “You know that, right?”

“I could have guessed.” I rolled my eyes. “You and Grant have been intimating that for a long time.”

“You are the only one who’s not playing the game, though.” He smiled and cocked his head back.

“What is this game you both keep talking about?” I walked towards him.

“Stop.” He held his hand up. “Don’t move until I say you can move.”

“Okay.” I stood there awkwardly.

“I don’t want you to sleep with Grant again.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

“He won’t accept you turning him down.” He stood up. “He has plans for you.”

“Who’s in charge here?” My voice rose. “You or him?”

“Excuse me?” His eyes narrowed at the sharpness in my tone.

“What does Grant want? What normally happens next in these games you play?”

“Next?” He shrugged. “Do you really want to know?”

“Yes.”

“We fuck ‘em. And leave ‘em.”

“Leave ‘em where?” I swallowed hard. Was he admitting they did something bad to the women they picked up? And when he said, we fuck ‘em, did he really mean they both fucked them? Hadn’t Eugenie said Tyler had never slept with anyone but me?

“We take them back to town.”

“I want to go back to town now.” I stood straight as he stood up and walked towards me, his eyes never leaving mine.

“But I’m not done with you.” He reached over and grabbed my wrist, pulling me towards him.

“I don’t want to be here anymore, Tyler. I don’t want to play this game.” I shook my head. “Please let me go.” Especially not if Grant knew my secret. It was something I’d been running from my whole life. I was so ashamed of myself and now, knowing he knew, well it made me feel cheap. I no longer felt like the girl experimenting. I felt like the cheap slut who had been exposed to the world.

“I can’t.” He shook his head.

“Why not?” I bit my lower lip.

“You’re the first one I’ve ever cared about,” he said softly as he stopped in front of me. “You’re the first one I’ve wanted to touch more than once.”

“Yet, you want me to have a threesome with you and Grant.” I shook my head.

“If he touches you again, I’ll kill him.” He smiled, but his eyes were still dark.

“Why do you both play these games?” I held my breath as he touched my neck and ran his fingers down the valley between my breasts.

“Because we can’t help ourselves,” he groaned as he pulled away from me. “Let’s go out.”

“Where?”

“You’ll see.” He grabbed my hands. “Let’s go.”

* * *

“Where are we? And where are you going?” I stared at Tyler as he made his way to the door of the room we’d just entered. I had no idea where we were. We’d driven for about twenty minutes, and I hadn’t recognized my surroundings at all. When he’d stopped the car at what appeared to be an old farm house, I’d been perplexed.

“We’re at the club.”

“But there’s no one else here.” I frowned. “Not even Grant, or did he come by himself?”

“Grant won’t be here.”

“But you said I had to dance in front of you and Grant.” I frowned.

“Did you really want to do that?” He tilted his head and studied my face.

“Not particularly.” I admitted.

“I didn’t think so.” He smiled benevolently. “So you won’t have to do it.”

“I won’t have to dance for you?”

“Nope.”

“Oh.” I was slightly disappointed. I’d been excited to dance for Tyler.

“Don’t be disappointed, Evie.” He grinned. “You can do it another time.”

“Then where are we?” I frowned and looked around the empty room. “Where have you brought me?”

“This is a safe room.” His expression changed. “We need to chat.”

“Chat about what?” I looked at his proximity to the door. “And why are you leaving?”

“I have to get something.”

“Something like what?” I walked towards him. “And why do I have to stay here?”

“You ask way too many questions.”

“Well I want to know.”

“I want you to know.”

“So tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“Are you kidding me, Tyler?” My voice rose. “Why are you making this a riddle?”

“I’m not making this a riddle, you are. You don’t need to ask any questions, then you won’t be frustrated when you don’t receive any answers.”

“You’re so frustrating.”

“I’m frustrating? You don’t even listen to me when I do tell you what to do.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to choose me.” He stared at me unblinking.

“I did choose you.”

“I want you to choose me without any doubts in your mind. I want you to choose me regardless of the fact that I’m the man with the money. I want you to choose me because I’m the man you have to be with. I’m the man who pleases you. I’m the man who…” His voice trailed off. “That’s all for now.”

“So you’re just going to leave me?”

“I’m going to leave you to think.” He nodded. “I want you to know who you want to be with.”

“Do I even have a choice?” I blinked at him.

“You always have a choice.”

“How long do I have to think?”

“You’ll know when your time is up.”

“How?” I shivered in the cold room and looked around again. There was a small twin bed with a paisley quilt, a small arm chair, and some books on a side table. The room was sparsely decorated, and I wasn’t sure what I was meant to do to occupy my time while I was in there. Did he seriously think I could decide which one of the two men I wanted in that amount of time? Not that it was an issue. I already knew Tyler was the one I was more attracted to; he was the one who sparked something in me. However, I didn’t know which one of them was bad. I didn’t know which one of them Eugenie was warning me against. From what Eugenie had said, or intimated, there was a really scary sort of game going on here. Not that I hadn’t already gathered that when Eugenie had popped up in the closet and Grant had said I couldn’t leave, but I really didn’t know who to trust at this point.

“You’ll be safe, Evie.”

“I’m not worried about being safe.” I was annoyed. “I don’t want to stay in this room by myself, sitting on the bed or the couch waiting for someone to come and let me out.”

“I have to know.”

“What do you have to know, Tyler? What is this really going to accomplish? I barely even know you. Even if I did choose you, what would it  really mean? We had hot sex, and I think you’re hot. It doesn’t mean we’re destined to be with each other. It doesn’t mean this is anything special. It doesn’t take back the fact that I already slept with Grant.”

“Don’t talk about him.” He stepped towards me, his eyes narrowed and full of anger. “I don’t need to be reminded of that fact.”

“Why does it bother you so much?” My breath caught as he grabbed my hands and pulled me towards him hard.

“I don’t want to think about him touching you. You’re mine.”

“I’m not yours. And I’m not his either.” I gasped as his lips came down close to mine. “I’m no one’s. I’m just another girl you picked up at the club and took home. I’m just another girl who fell for Grant’s smile and offer of five grand. I’m just another girl who got carried away and tied my dreams of a fairytale onto someone I had no good reason to hope would be my Prince Charming. I’m just another girl who hoped for the needle in the haystack to be found. I’m just another girl who grew up dreaming and wishing I’d meet the man who would carry me away and make me forget my crazy fucked up life.” My lips quivered as I took a deep breath. “But you know what? I got what I always get, a fucked up situation with a fucked up man and a whole lot of heartache.”

“What’s your story, Evie?” He frowned and led me to the bed.

“What do you mean, what’s my story? What’s everyone’s story?” I sighed as we sat down on the bed.

“I didn’t ask about everyone’s story. I asked about yours.”

“I thought you were leaving.” I looked away from him, my stomach dropping. I didn’t want to talk about my story. That would make everything too real about this situation. This wasn’t real. It was a fairytale. It was make-believe. This wasn’t my real life. This was a game and a fantasy, and when I was done, I could go back home and back to my normal life.

“Tell me who you are, Evie Johnson.”

“There’s not much to know. I’m just like millions of other women. I grew up with a single mother whose jerk of a boyfriend left as soon as he found out she was pregnant. Though calling him a boyfriend is giving him a title he doesn’t deserve. He was a man who enjoyed fucking my mother until he got her pregnant. So I grew up without a dad.” I shrugged and tried not to think of all the nights I’d cried myself to sleep wondering why my father hadn’t wanted to be a part of my life and wishing I had someone to spoil and love me like I saw other girls’ daddies doing.

“I’m sorry.” He blinked at me, his eyes never leaving my face.

“Don’t be sorry for me, be sorry for my mom. She didn’t let my father’s rejection get her down. She continued allowing herself to be a plaything until I was eight years old. She had three abortions I know of and gave one kid up for adoption.” I paused. “He was a boy. She didn’t want a boy.” I rubbed my temple, as my head was starting to hurt. “Then one of her boyfriends tried to touch me. She caught him, and she almost cut his hand off.” I turned to him. “She wasn’t an uncaring mother. She stopped dating then, cold turkey, and she hasn’t dated since then.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Like I said, don’t be sorry for me. It’s not my life. I don’t even see her anymore.” I sighed. “I went away to college and took out as few loans as I could and survive. I never wanted to be like her. I wanted to be far away from her and that life.” My breath caught.  “I’ve never had casual sex with anyone since I left home. Just boyfriends. Just safe and dependable boyfriends. I’ve been waiting all my life for my Knight in Shining Armor to come and whisk me away and out of this life.” I laughed. “I guess I got fed up of waiting.”

“That’s why you took the job as a stripper?”

“I took the job as a stripper for one night to help my friend and to make some money to pay my bills and all those student loans I told you about.” I sighed.

“And what about Grant? Why did you leave with him?”

“I left with him because playing my life safe for so many years has resulted in absolutely nothing. And all those safe boyfriends have meant nothing. Not one of them has made me feel as alive as I’ve felt the last couple of days. Sex with them was boring. I was never fulfilled. Safe doesn’t equal happy. Safe doesn’t equal pain free. I’m broke, single, and living a life I never wanted for myself, but I’m still in my twenties. I don’t want this monotony anymore. I want to be wild and crazy. I want to be free. I want to be loved and love. I want to be hurt and to hurt. I want to feel something. Anything other than this never ending boredom and safety. I left with Grant because I was ready to go skydiving.” I stared at Tyler. “I was ready to ride the rollercoaster and to hell with what society thinks or what even I think.”

“You took a dangerous risk.”

“A dangerous risk that took me to you.”

‘You’re happy you’re here with me?” His expression changed, and I could see my answer was important to him.

“Being with you is anything but safe.” I laughed. “I have no idea what to think, what to feel, what to say, what to expect. I have no idea what’s going to happen, and a part of me loves that.”

“So you prefer me to Grant?”

“I choose you over Grant, Tyler.” I nodded. “I choose you.”

“Good.” He said simply. “Let’s go.”

“Where are we going?” I said in a surprised tone. “We just got here.”

“I’m going to make you feel even more alive.”

“Oh?”

“Trust me.” He grinned. “As long as you’re with me, you’ll always feel alive.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because you make me feel alive. I know because you do the same thing for me.” He grabbed my hand as we walked to the door. He paused and looked back into the room and thought for a second before turning to me. “You’re changing the man I am, Evie.”

“I hope that’s a good thing,” I said softly.

He just smiled as we walked out of the room, down a narrow hallway, and out the door we had entered through. His Porsche Carrera was sitting in its spot right outside the door and we walked over to it quickly.

“Where are we going?” I turned to him as he opened the passenger door for me.

“You’ll see.”

* * *

“Where are we?” I asked as we got out of the car, once again in a location I didn’t recognize.

“Brooklyn.” He grinned. “And more specifically, Greenpoint.”

“What are we doing in Greenpoint, Brooklyn?” I frowned. “Is it famous for something?”

“No.” He laughed and grabbed my hand. “Let’s go inside.” He pointed at the big grey building in front of us.

“This isn’t the club, is it?” I bit on my lower lip. Had he changed his mind? Did he want me to do the dance after all?

“No, this isn’t a club.” He grinned. “It’s a stunts training center.”

“Stunts?” I made a face. “What do you mean, stunts?”

“I mean like big budget Hollywood movie stunts. We’re going to go rappelling.”

“Say what?” My eyes grew wide. This was not what I expected at all. “Rappelling?”

“Yeah.” He grinned. “Down the Empire State Building.”

“What?” I shook my head, my heart racing. “Are you joking?”

“Well, we’re not going to go down the real Empire State Building. I don’t think they’ll let us, not even if I offer a million dollars.”

“You love to throw your money around, don’t you?”

“No.” His voice was soft as we walked into the building. “It’s quite the opposite actually. Why do you think I became the driver? Why do you think I don’t tell anyone I’m a billionaire?”

“I don’t know. I thought it was a part of the game the two of you played.”

He stopped and looked at me then, his eyes keen as he surveyed my face. “You’re too smart for your own good, Evie.”

“Not smart enough though, obviously.” I shivered as I looked at the tall mock building in front of me. “You expect me to climb down the side of the building?”

“We’ll do it together.”

“I don’t want to do it, period.”

“I need you to show me you trust me, Evie. I need you to step outside your comfort zone.”

“This is outside my comfort zone.” I pointed at him and then myself. “Everything that’s going on is outside my comfort zone. Being with you. Being around Grant. Talking to Eu...” I cut myself off and looked at the ground. “I don’t know if I can do this, Tyler.”

“I won’t let you fall.”

“You can’t guarantee that.” I looked up at the building again, and at all the ropes. “No one can guarantee that.”

“Trust me.” He grabbed my shoulders and looked into my eyes. “I need you to trust me. I need to know I can be all someone needs.”

“I, I...” My voice trailed off at the intensity in his gaze. The look in his eyes made me feel wanted. It made me feel loved. Odd, I know, but the fact that he seemed to care so much if I trusted him … it made me feel like I was important. And that was a feeling I’d been craving half my life.

“Will you do it?” He asked again softly.

“Okay, I’ll do it.” I took a deep breath. “I hope I don’t piss my pants.”

“Oh Evie.” He burst out laughing. “It won’t be that bad.”

“Let’s hope not.” I gave him a look, and he gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me to stand where I was and he would be back. I watched him walking away as he went to talk to one of the workers. I stood where I was and realized this was like a date. Our first date. It felt weird to think that. It was almost like we were a normal couple, but we weren’t. Nothing was normal. I chewed on my lower lip as I realized I needed to call Hailey. She’d be freaking out. Possibly. Hailey was no stranger to weird and unusual activities. It came with her job. It was something I’d always been in awe of—scared for her, but in awe. She’d done some really crazy things with men. Like the time she’d slept with a Congressman at the White House by pretending to be his assistant. Or the time she’d pleasured a famous rock star with a dildo. I couldn’t believe it when she told me who he was. Or the time she’d been spanked by a famous news anchor. Hailey had some stories that were out of this world. And I knew she did more than stripping in her job. She was somewhat of a stripper/glorified escort, which was shocking and glamorous and confusing, all at the same time. I had lived vicariously through Hailey, and now, well now here I was, living my own sexual adventure. Only mine was tinged with something darker, something more real than what she experienced. I had already committed a cardinal sin by starting to fall for one of the guys, though I was hopeful he was falling for me as well. I was a fool. A big old fool.

“Ready?” Tyler walked back up to me, his blue eyes excited as he handed me a piece of paper.

“What’s this?”

“Indemnity agreement.” He laughed. “It’s a contract that releases the company of liability if anything happens.”

“Oh.” I held the paper in my hand and swallowed hard. I looked down at the words and they all seemed to jumble in-front of me.

“It’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, until the cord breaks or something.”

“It’s very safe, Ma’am. You and your boyfriend will be well taken care of,” the nameless man next to Tyler reassured me.

“Thanks.” I looked at Tyler, and he was grinning at me. My face was warm with pleasure that the man had called Tyler my boyfriend.

“Let’s do this.” Tyler grinned as we followed the man to the top of the building. We got strapped into some sort of harnesses and the man talked about technique and how to hold the rope, but all I could think about was the way Tyler was looking at me. My body felt warm inside, and I knew I was in trouble. I had fallen for Tyler, and I knew it was absolutely crazy. How could I have fallen for him so quickly?

* * *

“That was amazing.” I couldn’t stop speaking as we left the building. I was flying high on adrenaline. I’d never felt as alive as I had scaling down the building. “I felt like Spiderman or something.”

“You were Catwoman and I was Spiderman.” He grinned as he grabbed me around the waist and swung me around. “That was amazing. I feel so alive.”

“So do I. I feel like I’m still flying.” I gazed at him and grinned. “Thank you for that.”

“I’m glad you had a good time.” He put me down and frowned. “Now onto the next step.”

“Ooh where are we going now?” I asked excitedly.

“Somewhere to have more fun.” He turned away from me, his expression changing. “We need to leave now.”

“Is everything okay?” I asked quietly, surprised by his sudden transformation.

“Yes, it’s fine.” He walked to the Porsche and opened the door for me. “Get in.”

“Tyler, what’s up?” I looked at him with confused eyes.

“Don’t fall for me, Evie.” He looked at me with a blank expression.

“What are you talking about?” I sputtered.

“Nothing.” He slammed the door and walked around to the driver’s side. He got in and turned towards me. “I don’t want you to forget what you’re doing here.”

“What am I doing here?”

“I can’t tell you.” He closed his eyes, and I could see his fists were clenched. “This isn’t a situation you should be in, Evie. You’re too good for this.”

“Too good for what?”

“I wish I could change.” He whispered under his breath and then opened his eyes again. “Open the glove compartment.”

“Why?”

“Just do it,” he commanded, and I opened it slowly, scared of what I was going to see inside.

“Take out the black blindfold.”

“Okay?” I took it out and tried to hand it to him.

“It’s not for me.” He shook his head. “Put it on.”

“Why?”

“So you can’t see.”

“Why don’t you want me to see?”

“I don’t want you to know where we’re going.”

“Oh?” I stared at the blindfold and sighed. “Fine.” I placed it over my eyes and tied the back so it didn’t slip down.

“Can you see?” he asked, and I blinked in the darkness.

“No, I can’t see anything.”

“Good.” He sounded pleased. “Okay, we’re going now.” He turned on the radio, and all I could hear was the sound of hard rock coming through his Bose car speakers. I must have fallen asleep, because I didn’t wake up again until I found myself in his arms being carried.

“Where are we?” I said, unaccustomed to the darkness of the blindfold as I opened my eyes.

“Somewhere special.” He said quietly.

“Special how?”

“You’ll see.” And then he laughed. “Well maybe see isn’t the right word.”

“I can’t take the blindfold off?”

“No.” His voice was gruff. “You cannot take it off.”

“Why not?”

“I want you to experience my lovemaking without any visuals. I want you to concentrate on the pleasure and touch completely.”

“The pleasure and touch? Lovemaking?” I shivered.

“Yes, Evie. I’m about to make sweet love to you.”

“Sweet love?”

“Shhh.” He pressed a finger to my lips. “No talking. Just wait.”

He continued carrying me for a few more minutes, and then I felt him putting me down on a mattress. I tried to smell, but there was nothing familiar about the scent in the room. My heart raced as I wondered where I was. Why was he doing this, and was he going to let Grant do anything to me?

Then the music started playing, and it was Usher’s ‘Make Love in this Club’. My entire body started trembling. I knew Grant liked to play Usher songs. The music seemed to surround my body, and I could hear Tyler moving around me.

“What?” I whispered as I heard Tyler saying something I couldn’t quite decipher.

“I was singing along to the song,” he suddenly whispered in my right ear, and I jumped. “Don’t be scared.” I felt his lips on mine. “I want to make love...” His tongue traced my lips as he moved away from me. “I’m going to have your body begging for me to take you.”

“Are we in the club?” I asked softly. “Is Grant here?”

“Grant isn’t here and he won’t be touching you.” Tyler’s voice was deep. “Don’t you understand by now? Grant...” His voice trailed off.

“Grant what?” I asked softly.

“He did his job.” Tyler pulled my hands up. “That’s all that matters.”

“What job?” I whispered, but he didn’t answer as he pulled my top off.

“Sit up for a second,” he said and then pulled my bra off. The cool air hit my breasts, and I trembled as I lay back down on the bed. My entire body was on edge. I was more scared now than I had been when we’d gone rappelling, but I knew this was another test. He wanted to make sure I trusted him. I wanted him to know I did. I wanted him to know I had picked him. I wasn’t sure why it was so important to him. He could have any girl he wanted. It made me feel special that he seemed to want me so bad. My inner consciousness was screaming at me for having so little self-esteem. Maybe things hadn’t changed so much after all.

“Don’t be tense, Evie. I’m not going to hurt you.” He kissed my lips again. “This is going to be fun.” He pulled my pants and panties down, and I lay on the bed naked. “I’m not going to restrict your movement. I’m not going to handcuff you or tie you down. You’ll be free to move around as you want, okay?”

“Okay.” I nodded and groaned as he slipped a finger between my legs and rubbed me gently. My back arched on the bed and I moaned. I sighed as he withdrew his fingers and I heard him moving away. I wasn’t sure where he was going or why, but I was excited. The music pulsated through the room, and I found myself moving my body on the bed in time to the beat of the drum. Usher serenaded me as I lay there and my heart rate increased as I heard Tyler walking back towards me.

“I want to make love to you.” Tyler groaned and I felt something running up and down my body. It was sharp, but not painful. It only served to heighten my senses, and I groaned as the object stimulated and teased me. “Now soft,” he whispered, and I felt a feather running across my nipples, teasing and taunting me.

“Oh,” I cried out as his thumb brushed my nipples after the feather.

“Sexy,” he groaned and leaned down and sucked on my nipples. I ran my hands to his back and was pleasantly surprised to feel he was bare chested.

“I don’t care who’s watching,” Tyler said loudly as he moved up and then ran the feather down my legs. My body was on high alert, and I couldn’t tell if I was listening to the words of Usher or Tyler as I lay there, waiting to find out what was going to happen next.

“Huh?” I moaned as Tyler slipped something up my legs. “Oh,” I cried out as I felt a small vibrator between my legs, rubbing me gently.

“Do you like that?” His fingers flicked my nipples.

“Please Tyler, please just make love to me,” I moaned as I felt his breath on my nipples as he licked them gently. “Tyler, please.”

“Not until every nerve in your body is ready and waiting for me to take you. Not until your body knows it is mine,” he growled, and he bit down on my nipple and tugged harder. “Domination. Total and absolute domination.”

“I want you, Tyler. Please just take me!” I cried out. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stand this much longer.

“Hold on. Turn over.” He rolled me over and I lay on my stomach, my pussy wet and waiting. I felt his fingers on my ass as I lay there and took a deep breath. What was he about to do? I felt some beads in his hand, and I knew what that meant. I knew what beads were used for. I held my breath as I waited. It would be a new feeling. One I wasn’t sure I was ready for, but instead of feeling the beads inside me, I felt a warm oil on my lower back and his hands massaging it into my butt. I groaned as his fingers squeezed my ass as the vibrator kept rubbing me quickly. I knew I was close to having my first orgasm, and I closed my eyes to concentrate on the feelings running through me.

“I’m going to come,” I cried out as I felt my climax building up. It was then Tyler rolled me back over and pulled me to the edge of the bed and lifted my legs over his shoulders. I felt his cock enter me deeply and swiftly and I cried out as I came hard and fast. Every part of my body was floating on high as the vibrator still rubbed my clit as his cock kept pushing into me, harder and faster.

“Tyler!” I screamed as his fingers played with my nipples. Every part of my body was being taken care of, and I knew this was the most intense experience and orgasm I’d ever had in my life.

“Evie,” he grunted as he thrust into me even more urgently, “you’re mine, Evie. You’re mine,” he groaned, and as the song ended, I heard a loud spatter of applause. I gripped the bed, my heart thudding as we both orgasmed together. I ripped the blindfold off my face and looked to the right and saw a group of men sitting there watching us.

“What’s going on, Tyler?” My face went white as I looked up at him.

“I want everyone to know you’re mine.” His eyes stared into mine.

I stared back at him in shock. What the fuck was going on here? I jumped up off the bed and grabbed my clothes from the floor and pulled them on. “How could you do this to me, Tyler?”

“I told you I was taking you someplace special.” He grabbed my hand. “This was fun, Evie. Wasn’t it fun?”

“It was fun until I realized people were watching us.” I pulled away from him and ran out the door, anxious to get away from him.

“Evie, wait. This is who I am. You can’t put labels on me that don’t fit.”

“How could you do that to me, Tyler? How could you? I thought you were falling for me.” My voice sounded accusatory, but I couldn’t stop myself.

“I don’t know what love is.” His voice was bleak as he stared at me with steady eyes. “I’m a twisted man.”

“How can you not know what love is?” I stumbled through the hallways, tears in my eyes. I’d also forgotten to take the vibrator off and so my body was getting ready to experience another orgasm.

“My heart is a cold pit of despair and regret.”

“Why?” I asked him softly, wanting to know what had made him hurt so bad he’d live this life of darkness.

“Have you ever lost someone?” His eyes lit up as he spoke. “Have you ever missed someone so much you weren’t sure how you could live each day without them? Ever just been sitting there and their smile popped into your mind? Do you know what that’s like?”

“No,” I said softly, feeling numb for him. I was taken aback by the feeling in his voice.

“Her face comes to me in the middle of the night, in the most random places. I have to close my eyes tight to see her eyes, but I can always remember how much she loved me unconditionally. I can always remember how much she looked up to me. She looked up to me, and I failed her.”

“You must have loved her very much.” My voice caught, and my stomach rumbled anxiously with jealousy. I could feel the heat of shame in my cheeks. How could I feel so jealous of his unknown love? How could I be so selfish? I didn’t even know him, yet I felt his emptiness and pain.

“I loved her with everything I was. I still do. She took my heart the first time I saw her. I was only young.” His voice caught, and he blinked. “Enough.” He shook his head and frowned.

“What happened?” I stepped forward and grabbed his arm.

“What happened?” He grabbed my wrists and pulled me towards him. “You want to know what happened? You know what happens to curious little girls, don’t you?”

“I’m not a little girl, so no.” My heart was beating rapidly, and I felt like it was going to pop out of my chest. His eyes bore into mine, and he frowned.

“You just don’t know what’s good for you, do you?” He shook his head slightly and moved his lips closer to mine.

“What’s good for me, Tyler?” I swallowed hard as I waited for him to kiss me. I craved his touch. I needed to feel his lips against mine. Maybe my touch would awaken something in him, something I wanted him to feel for me. His conversation had awakened something in me that I’d always craved—to be deeply loved. To be so loved that I was all someone needed. Tyler’d had that, and it made me envious and jealous. I was jealous that he loved someone, and I was envious that she’d had someone love her so much. I knew I was crazy to be feeling this way. I knew it was irrational. I knew he couldn’t possibly be the one for me. Not after everything that had gone on, yet I couldn’t stop myself from falling for him, falling into him. He was consuming me—heart, body and soul—and I didn’t know if I wanted him to stop.

“I don’t know,” he groaned as his lips crashed down on mine. “At this point, I don’t even know.” He grabbed my hand. “Follow me. We need to go and talk.”

Chapter 48

The field he took me to was beautiful and empty. We took our clothes off quickly and fell to the ground, not able to keep our hands off each other. I knew I was a fool for allowing him to touch me again without having gotten any answers, but I couldn’t stop myself. He was like a drug to me. I couldn’t resist him. I needed him in my bloodstream. We must have made love for hours, both of us using each other’s bodies to make ourselves feel something, anything. I knew this couldn’t last. There were too many questions. Too many answers loomed over us. I needed to know what was going on. I needed to know, but I didn’t want to know. I was scared of what I was going to find out.

We lay back in the grass and stared up at the night sky, the stars illuminating our faces as we held hands in silence. We were both naked and exhausted from our lovemaking, and I rolled over and looked at him for a few seconds before speaking.

“You’re a punk, you know that, right? I should have slapped you for what you did.”

“You still can.”

“I should, and I could if I wanted to.”

“I like girls who have spunk.” He tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear. “It lets me know you can’t be broken.”

“We can all be broken. We’re all human.” I frowned.

“But you’re strong.”

“I’m strong, but not infallible.” I touched his chest lightly. “Everyone can be broken, Tyler.”

“Some break more easily than others.” He caught my hand as I grazed his nipple. “Some are more flexible. They can be bent out of shape, but they don’t break.”

“That’s me then, isn’t it?” I sighed. “I was bent out of shape.”

“You don’t have to follow any particular shape. That’s the beauty in life, Evie. You’re not like the other girls. You’re not like any other girl I’ve ever met.” His eyes narrowed as his fingers ran across my stomach.

“I don’t know the other girls, so I don’t know what they’re like.”

“I thought it would all be good fun. I thought this was the only way for me. It was the best way. I never wanted to fall in love. I never wanted to feel for anyone, not after the heartbreak I experienced. I never wanted to experience that again.”

“She must have been very special, this girl you loved.” My voice choked up. Do not be jealous, Evie. Do not allow yourself to be jealous.

“I loved her from the day she was born.”

“From the day she was born?” I frowned. How had he known her then?

“I remember the day my parents brought her home. She was a little pink bundle of tears and wails, but the first time she saw me, she stopped crying and smiled. I gave her my finger, and she held onto it tightly.”

“Oh, are you talking about your sister?”

“Of course.” He blinked at me. “She was the only person I ever loved with all my heart.”

“Oh.”

“Things changed when she died.”

“How did she die again?” I asked quietly, my heart breaking for his obvious pain. I knew he’d told me before she’d died of a drug overdose, but something in me told me to ask again.

“I don’t know.” His lips pursed, and I could see the vein in his throat throbbing. “One day she was there and then she was gone.”

“Gone?” My head started throbbing again. What did gone have to do with drugs?

“Yes.” He sat up. “I went to Europe for two weeks with some friends. She wanted to come, but I didn’t want the hassle of looking after my little sister. I told Grant to look after her.”

“How old was she?” I was confused. “And where were your parents?”

“My parents died in a car crash when I was 22 and she was 12. I was her caretaker from that point on. When she turned 16, she became more rebellious, harder to handle, and I started to resent the fact that I had to put up with her. I almost wished she’d never been born at that point.” His breath caught. “It was selfish of me to think that, of course. And she only acted that way because of the lack of discipline I’d instilled. When she was 18, she became a wild child, she became a stripper, she did drugs, and she did all the things she knew I’d hate. And instead of doing something about it, I disappeared. I went to France and England with a girl I was seeing casually and left her in the care of Grant. He’s my half-brother.” He sighed. “And then she died.”

“I’m sorry.” I bit my lower lip.

“Grant felt awful about it, of course, but what could we do? We both became men we don’t recognize because of her death.”

“Grant is your half-brother?” My jaw dropped. “I didn’t know.”

“And why should you know?” His lip curled. “You know what I want you to know. Our mother was a whore. She led my father to believe that Grant was his, but then my father found out the truth and that is why I inherited the family fortune. Grant and I had always been so close, but it out a wedge in our friendship. We always had to one-up each other. I always thought I was better of course. I was the legitimate son. I was the golden child. And then I decided to be a playboy and chase models around the world. I told him that if he wanted to have money, he needed to look after our sister. And then somehow she disappeared and she died. I don’t even know how she died.”

“Grant doesn’t know how she died?” I asked softly, my mind racing. Had Grant done something to her? Or had she died like Eugenie had died?

“She left a note.” He closed his eyes. “She intended to disappear and commit suicide. She said no one would ever find her body. No one would ever know what happened to her. And that was my punishment for leaving her and going to Europe.”

“What?” I gasped. “That’s horrible.”

“She was young and hurt and lost.” He opened his eyes and looked at me, his eyes blazing. “And that’s what hurts the most, the not knowing. Do you know how much pain I feel in my heart, every time I think about her? I miss her so much. She was my life, even when she was a pain. We loved each other with an unbreakable bond. She was my flesh and blood. And then she was gone, and I don’t know where, or how, or with who. And it kills me. Every single day, I lose another piece of my heart. It’s disintegrating slowly. I almost have nothing left.”

“You can’t blame yourself, Tyler. It’s not your fault.” I grabbed his hands. “You weren’t to know she would—“

“I want us to do something.” He cut me off and rolled over. “Say you’ll do something crazy with me.”

“What do you mean?” I groaned. “Haven’t we already done enough crazy stuff?”

“You’ve awakened in me something that makes me feel alive. You’ve awakened in me something that makes me remember a life outside of this prison.”

“But this is a self-imposed prison. No one is making you be here in your figurative pain.”

“It’s what I deserve.”

“So to mask the pain, you and Grant sleep with nameless girls?”

“I don’t mask anything, Evie.” He pulled me up with him. “I live life. I do what I want. And I don’t let society tell me what’s wrong or right. And I don’t sleep with them. Grant does. We test them to see which one they want. We test them to see if it’s about the money. That matters to Grant. That matters to me too. But you, you’re different. I knew the first time I met you that you were different. Will you do this with me?”

“What is it you want us to do?” I asked him softly as I leaned my naked body against his. He pulled me up and towards him and started waltzing with me across the grass. “What are you doing?”

“Dancing.” He said simply.

“But there’s no music.”

“There’s always music.” He held my hands tighter as he guided me across the dark field. “One two three, one two three, one two three,” he said over and over again, his moves effortless. It was hard for me to move with him without feeling self-conscious. I’d never danced naked before.

“Don’t be so in your head, Evie.” He looked at me with a frown. “Close your eyes.”

“But I’ll trip if I close my eyes.”

“I won’t let you trip.” He shook his head. “Trust me.”

“Okay.” And slowly I closed my eyes and gave in to him, allowing him to continue guiding me across the grass. I was sure the animals of the night were having a good laugh at us. I felt warm and safe in his arms, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking the question that had been bothering me for the last couple of minutes. “Why did you tell me your sister died of a drug overdose before, if now you’re saying you don’t know how she died?” I asked him softly. I wasn’t sure he’d heard me at first, because he kept moving us through the field without answering me. The grass felt soft and dewy under my feet, and it almost felt like we were gliding. But then all of a sudden he stopped and looked at me with sad eyes.

“Perhaps it was for the same reason you told me your mother stopped dating when you were a child?”

“What?” My face froze at his words.

“I know your mother dated a man when you were eighteen.”

“How?” I said softly.

“I know you used to sleep with him when your mother went to work at night.”

“It was a ...” My voice trailed off as I stared at him. What could I say to that? It was the truth. It was the reason why I’d been a do-gooder all through school and college. I’d been so ashamed of myself for sleeping with my mothers’ boyfriend. So, so ashamed. It had only happened two times but I had never forgiven myself. But how had he known?

“I told you I know your secrets, Evie. We all have secrets. We all have things we’re too ashamed to admit.” He started dancing again. “But why should we all be ashamed? Not a one of us is better than the other.”

“How did you know?” I wanted to run away, the shame running through my veins was so very prevalent. I’d been so young when it had happened, yet I’d never forgotten. I’d changed my whole life. I’d become a good girl, but still I’d succumbed easily when presented with a real test. I’d gone home with Grant without blinking. Maybe this was the lifestyle in my DNA. Maybe this was who I was supposed to be.

“Grant told me.” He said softly. “There are many things Grant knows about you. Things he knew before you went to the club that night. He likes to find out about the girls we bring home before we bring them home for some fun. He wants to make sure they can handle it. None of our picks are random.”

“He told me that night he has a lot of fake bachelor parties.” My head was thudding as I thought. “He uses the same strippers for the parties, doesn’t he?”

“Yes.” He said simply.

“And that’s how he gets the girls, isn’t it?” My heart sank at what I realized must be true.

“Yes, the girls come through his contacts.”

“And Hailey told him about me. She told him about my past. She told him where we would be so he could take photographs of me. She told him I needed the money. And that’s why she convinced me to work that night.” As I spoke, I knew my words were true. I felt betrayed by her, truly and deeply betrayed. And it was then I remembered what Eugenie had said. Who had been the one to betray her? “Do you get all the girls through Hailey?”

“She’s your friend, right? I don’t know if I should say anything else.” He looked worried.

“You know she’s my friend.” I sighed. “You knew all along, so why are you pretending you don’t know? Why are you pretending you three didn’t set this all up from the beginning? Do you know about Eugenie as well?”

“I wouldn’t continue with that line of questioning if I were you,” said a deep voice from behind us, and we both froze.

Chapter 49

Tyler’s body froze as we heard Grant’s voice.

“Why are you here?” Tyler’s voice sounded deadly.

“I knew you were here.” Grant laughed and stopped in front of us. “You always loved this field.”

“You’ve been here before?” I looked at Tyler with hurt eyes, but he didn’t answer me.

“This is not the first time this has gone down,” Grant answered, and he looked at my naked breasts. “But I’m here to take care of you.” He licked his lips and stepped forward. “Let me take care of you like I took care of you on our first night.”

“That night was a mistake.” I took a step back and held my arms over my breasts.

“It was a mistake, Sleeping Beauty?” Grant’s voice sounded strange in the field, and I stared at his dark face, illuminated by the moon. It looked like he hadn’t shaved in a few days, and there was a lot of facial hair and scruff covering his face. I shivered as I realized just how alpha and wolflike he looked.

“Don’t call me that!” I shouted at him and looked over at Tyler, who was just watching the two of us, with a dazed look on his face.

“You like to pretend you’re all prim and proper, but this isn’t your first foray into the world of crazy sex, is it?” Grant’s voice echoed as he took a step towards me. Tyler grabbed his arm and stopped him.

“Don’t move a step closer.” His eyes narrowed at Grant. “Or I’ll hurt you.”

“You’d hurt your own brother?” Grant looked at him for a few seconds and then he looked back at me with a snarl. “What have you done to him?”

“Did Hailey tell you to proposition me?” I changed the subject, needing to know exactly how I’d gotten myself into this situation.

“She gives the best lap dances, you know.” Grant laughed and stepped back as Tyler glared at him. “Much better than you.” He laughed and I could feel myself growing sick. “She has no problem fucking me while she dances.” He rubbed his crotch through his pants. “I wanted her to come back with me initially, but that would have been a bit awkward, wouldn’t it have been, Tyler?” He looked at Tyler and smirked.

“That’s enough, Grant.” Tyler’s voice was low, and I could see and feel his chest moving up and down, even though I wasn’t next to him. He was angry, and I wasn’t sure what he was going to do.

“What’s gotten into you? This is what we’ve been waiting for.” Grant looked at him.

“This is different.” Tyler looked at me then, a light in his eyes I’d never seen before.

“How is this different?”

“She’s different.”

“You’re joking?” Grant shook his head. “She’s not different, Tyler.”

“Different from who?”

“Remember what happened to Eugenie?” Grant looked at Tyler. “You don’t want another Eugenie. Do you want to be responsible for a third death?”

Tyler looked at him and then at me, and it suddenly struck me that maybe Tyler didn’t realize Eugenie was alive. Grant was twisting everything. He was somehow in Tyler’s head.

“Eugenie is still alive,” I blurted out, and I watched the expression on Tyler’s face as I spoke. “She’s not dead, Tyler. She’s alive, and maybe your sister is as well.” I moved closer to him and looked at Grant. “I think Grant has been lying to you.”

“Stupid bitch.” Grant’s eyes narrowed as Tyler pulled me towards him, his arm around my waist. “You stupid, stupid bitch.” Grant stared at me and shook his head slowly.

“What’s she saying, Grant?” Tyler’s voice was lethal, and I could feel the power coursing through his body as his fingers gripped my skin. “Eugenie’s alive?”

“She’s in the house.” I spoke up again. “Grant did something to her. He won’t let her leave. I think he’s been keeping her as his slave or something. I think he’s been drugging her. That’s what her letters said. And from the way she was talking, I think something is not quite right with her. Maybe your sister is still alive as well.”

Tyler turned to me, his eyes surveying my face for a few seconds. “Put your clothes on. We need to go.”

I nodded and grabbed my clothes and pulled them on quickly while Tyler and Grant stood there staring at each other wordlessly. I could see Grant looked scared. I wondered what Tyler was going to do to him.

“Is she telling the truth?” Tyler said in a deadly voice as he looked at Grant. “Do not lie to me, Grant.”

Grant just nodded in silence and Tyler gasped, his face hard and dark.

“You have to let Eugenie go,” Tyler said softly. “And you have to leave.”

“But Tyler...” Grant’s voice trailed off as Tyler glared at him. “It was for the best. It was for you. She got addicted to the drugs. I didn’t want anyone blaming us.”

“It’s over, Grant.” Tyler’s voice was cold. “You need to leave. You’re no longer my brother.”

“Where am I supposed to go?”

“You’ll find someplace.”

“Can I come back?” Grant looked at me for a split second and then back at Tyler. “We can go back to the way things used to be before we started getting the girls. I can be your driver, like before. I don’t mind.”

“No. It’s over for you and me, Grant.” Tyler stepped forward and grabbed his shirt. “You’ve failed me. You nearly made me lose the one girl I’ve always wanted. This was all for you. This was all to make you feel better because our mom was a whore, but that wasn’t my fault, Grant. That wasn’t my fault.”

“Tyler.” Grant’s voice sounded whiny, and I watched the man before me turn into a little boy.

“It’s over, Grant. It should have been over a long time ago.” Tyler turned to me. “Thank you for telling me about Eugenie,” he said softly, and I smiled at him awkwardly. How had he just accepted what I had to say without questioning me? It was almost as if he had guessed something wasn’t right. Maybe he’d even heard the slight creaks and noises in the night and wondered what was going on. Maybe he was finally ready to move on from the pain and the heartache he had suffered. Now he knew the truth. And now we could be together.

“So you won.” Grant’s voice was a monotone. “Once again you won.”

“Go now, let Eugenie go and leave.” Tyler sighed and I shivered in the night air. “I haven’t won anything. I’ve lost a brother. First a sister and now a brother. Go.” And with that Grant started walking to the car.

“Shouldn’t we go with him and make sure he actually lets her go?” I grabbed Tyler’s arm. “Do you really trust him?”

“Grant knows if he doesn’t let her go, he will find himself in a very bad place.” Tyler’s voice held a lightly veiled threat. “Send me proof that she is in a safe place and I will give you enough money to be set up for life.”

“I’ll go now.” Grant nodded and looked at me one last time. “I wish you would have chosen me, Evie. I wish you would have chosen me.”

Chapter 50

I watched as Tyler ran into a store and I walked over to a fruit stall in the market to buy some fresh oranges and apples. The last couple of days had been magnificent without Grant and Eugenie in the house. I felt like I was really getting to know Tyler well, though it felt odd I still hadn’t gone back home yet. And even odder to be starting a relationship with him under these circumstances, but it just felt right. He had already paid off all of my student loans and while it made me feel slightly guilty, I knew he could afford to and wanted to help me out. I didn’t see it as anything wrong. He wanted to take care of me because he was falling in love with me. He was my Prince Charming. All of these years I’d waited for him, and he’d finally come along.

“You’re the new girl in the house?” An older lady with dark hair stared at me from under her hat as I looked at the fruit in the stall in front of her. “You should leave.”

“Sorry, what?” I frowned at her, wondering what she was talking about.

“You’re the new girl up at Slate Manor?” Her eyes narrowed as she surveyed me. “That’s a scary place. It’s almost like it’s haunted.” Her eyes never left my face.

“Um yeah, but Grant Slate is no longer there,” I almost whispered. “It’s just me and Tyler now.” As I spoke to her, I realized I didn’t even know his last name.

“Tyler is a Slate as well.” She paused. “They were brothers.”

“I know.” I stared back at her fearlessly.

“I knew their parents and their sister. Very sad family. Very sad.” She grabbed my hand. “Stand still, let me read your palms.”

“Uh, okay.” I gazed at her and looked around, hoping Tyler would hurry up in the shop and come back and get me. I was uncomfortable being with this lady.

“The game has begun again.” She dropped my hand and looked up at me, her eyes alert. “Grant and Tyler have been playing this game for a long time now.”

“They did.” I sighed, not wanting to explain myself to her. “But it’s over now. Grant is gone. And the last girl, Eugenie, well she’s gone to safety now. Grant and her have both left.” I paused as I realized that this lady knew a lot more than she should have. How did she know so much information?

“I know that. She’s safe now. She’s in rehab. She’ll be okay.” She nodded her head. “I warned her as well in the very beginning. She didn’t want to listen.” She sighed. “You girls never want to listen. You always want to think you’re special.”

“You warned her of what?” My voice rose now. “Who are you exactly?”

“They’ll tell you anything, those guys will. They’ll do anything. Each new girl is the key to their salvation. They let their sister down. She succumbed to drugs. Now they save women, but they can’t save women when they’re screwed up themselves.”

“What?” I frowned. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“The Slate boys, well, the Slate boys have more games and problems than they do condoms.”

“What?” My jaw dropped open. “What are you talking about?”

“The apples are two for a dollar,” she said sweetly, and I frowned at the change of subject.

“Are you ready, Evie?” I felt Tyler’s arm on my back, and I looked up at his beaming face and nodded.

“Yes, I don’t think I’ll get any fruit today.” I looked back at the lady, but she was staring at Tyler strangely.

“You’ve changed.” Her eyes narrowed as she suddenly grasped his hands and looked down at his palms. “You’re different.” She shook her head. “It’s not possible. How?”

“It’s all her.” He pointed at me. “She came into my life. She saved me. She saved me when I didn’t even know I needed saving.”

“Your destiny has changed.” She beamed suddenly. “It will be alright. You will be alright.” She let go of his hand and then looked at me. “It will be hard, but you will make it through. You will be alright. Love has broken the Slate spell.”

* * *

“I have some presents for you.” Tyler grinned as he led me into the master bedroom after we got home.

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” I shook my head and squeezed his hand. “Just being with you is enough.”

“I’m so lucky to have you, Evie. I never thought I’d meet someone like you.”

“Neither did I.” I leaned forward and kissed him softly.

“Come.” He grabbed my hand. “Sit on the bed.”

“What did you get me?” I asked, eagerly awaiting my presents.

“Roses for my rose.” He handed me a bouquet of red roses. “To represent my love and passion for you.”

“Thank you.” I smiled. “How sweet of you.”

“That’s not all.” He handed me a small box, and my heart started racing.

“What’s this?”

“Open it.” He sat next to me and watched my face.

“A ring?” I gasped at the platinum band with the huge carat diamond.

“It’s a promise ring.” He rubbed my back. “I promise to take care of you and all of your needs. I promise to always be the man you need me to be. I promise to always take care of you.”

“Oh Tyler.” I took the ring out of the box. “Thank you.”

“Just say you’ll never leave me.” His eyebrows furrowed. “I couldn’t stand it if you left me.”

“Oh Tyler, I’ll never leave you.”

“Good.” He smiled. “Two more presents.”

“You’re spoiling me.” I laughed.

“Good, you deserve to be spoiled.” He grinned and reached into a bag on the stand. “This is for you.” He handed me another jewelry case. I opened it slowly and saw a beautiful silver ROLEX watch.

“Oh my God, Tyler. This is too much.”

“Nothing is too much for you.” He took the watch and placed it on my wrist. “Perfect, it fits perfectly.”

“You’re too generous.”

“Nothing is too much for the lady I love.” He kissed me hard and then jumped up. “One final gift.”

“Ooh, what is it?” I giggled.

“This one is the most special.” His blue eyes were warm as he handed me a larger box.

“What is this? Sexy underwear?” I laughed and opened the box eagerly. Inside the large box was a smaller box and I opened it eagerly. There in a small velvet case sat a large diamond.

“This is a ring for you. Because I want you to be mine forever. I want you to always chose me and only me. And I want to say sorry. I want to make it up to you. I’m so sorry about the games Grant and I played with you. I’ve been in a daze for years and only since meeting you have I realized that I wasn’t really living. The games weren’t for me. They were for Grant. He had a spell over me. He manipulated me because he knew how guilty I felt about everything. I’m not that man anymore. And I promise to always love and protect you. I promise to take care of you. Will you marry me? Will you make me the happiest man in the world?”

And because I’d already defied every brain cell in my head in the last week, I said, “yes,” and then fell into his arms and held him tightly. Because at the end of the day, we’re all a little bit crazy. At least that’s what I tell myself.

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