Date: 2019-08-20T23:00:00+00:00

ROCK MY WORLD

Lauraine Henderson

Copyright © 2019 Lauraine Henderson

All rights reserved.

ISBN:9781687039491

Vector design by Vecteezy.com

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to anyone who, in a moment of despair, uncertainty, or ignorance, made a decision that forever haunts them. The miracle of forgiveness is real through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Forgive others and then, forgive yourself.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I’m grateful to friends and family who support me in my writing journey. They keep me going.

I’m grateful to readers who like my books. I try to produce the very best I can.

I’m grateful to Sandra Meaders, my editor, who patiently finds all my grammatical errors and makes wonderful suggestions.

I’m grateful to my Heavenly Father who inspires me with stories that seem so real..

PROLOGUE

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

PROLOGUE

"Y ou know what makes graduation even better?" Julianna asked, shaking back her long, chocolate tresses.

"What's that, Junior?" J.R. responded, a look part mischief, part anticipation in his deep brown eyes accompanied his half-smile.

Working past J.R.'s soft brown curls that recently had been the recipient of her loving caress, Julianna took a deep breath and said, "That I never have to see you again."

Standing next to them, Julianna's friend, Stacy, gasped.

Julianna watched J.R. flinch as though she had stabbed him with a knife and for a minute, his boyish good looks paled. She held his stare for what seemed like an age.

Finally, he said, "I guess you didn't read what I wrote in your yearbook." He turned and walked away, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans.

Julianna recoiled slightly from the dejected slope of his shoulders as he turned the corner to the school building.

"Wow," said Stacy, "that was harsh."

"He deserved it," she said with conviction.

"I wonder what he wrote in your yearbook," Stacy murmured, pulling her blonde waves behind her ears.

"Yeah, whatever." Julianna dismissed the idea like a bug in her way. J.R. Bentley was going to be a faded memory before she started her first class at Oregon State University.

Even so, a chunk of her heart chipped away and fell into oblivion.

CHAPTER ONE

Ten years later...

J ames Robert Bentley, known by everyone as J.R., rounded the final corner and slowed his truck as he made the final drive down the long gravel driveway toward the place that he had once called home. The shiny new truck he drove looked out of place in front of the rundown farmhouse.

Peeling paint, rusted screens, and the overall dejected look of time, weather, and negligence weighed down J.R.'s heart, already heavy with the reason for his return. Ten years ago, he thought he had left Cooper Springs for good.

Sharon Bentley opened the screen door at the front of the house and walked slowly onto the front porch stoop, stopping at the railing and leaning heavily as she stared directly at J.R. Her gray curls piled high on her head and her dark eyes bore a hole in J.R.'s heart. Always slender, Sharon had aged gracefully, but J.R. could feel the weight of the plans ahead.

Slipping quickly from the cab of the truck, J.R. silently made his way down the narrow walkway, up the front steps, and into Sharon's waiting arms.

"Mama."

"James."

J.R. knew she only called him that when she was mad or emotional. He held her for an age, welcoming her warmth and strength. Ten years of distance, broken only by phone calls and her occasional visits to Portland, disappeared as J.R. hugged his mama, fighting the lump in his throat to keep his own emotions at bay.

"I'm so glad you're finally here." Sharon's voice quivered slightly, but her hug never faltered, and J.R. could feel her strength fill the void created when he had walked away the summer after his high school graduation.

"I love you, Mama," J.R. managed. The rest of the words could wait until he could keep his composure. He hadn't realized how hard it would be to come home, but for Mama's sake he would be strong, like her.

"Come inside and take a load off," Mama said, pulling out of his arms and heading back to the front door. Her labored gait had been hidden from him when she first walked out, but now he saw the care she took with each step and breathed a silent prayer of thanks that she hadn't had any mishaps before he returned. He was here now and could take care of her.

Holding the ratty screen door, so pointedly out of square it screamed for him to grab his tools and start on the repairs immediately, he tempered his thoughts and urged himself to be patient. He was going to be here for a month. There was plenty of time to get the place in shape and ready to sell.

Sharon crossed to the well-worn sofa and settled heavily onto a sagging, threadbare floral cushion. Pulling a soft blanket over her lap, she leaned back. "Did you make good time?"

J.R. took his place across from his mama in an equally dilapidated loveseat. Leaning forward with his hands on his knees, he said, "Sure. It didn't take much time at all, maybe four hours or so."

"Hard to believe you've been so close all these years and..." Her voice faded away.

J.R. looked at his hands and frowned. She didn't need to remind him he'd been away a long time. "I know, Mama. But I'm here now. Let's focus on that, okay?"

"At some point we're going to have that talk, J.R. I don't know when, but it will happen."

"I suppose. But today is not that day."

J.R. stood up, the confines of the small sofa too reminiscent of the long drive. Pacing around the generous, but cluttered living room, he glanced over the faded family portraits sitting on the fireplace mantle. His parents had been so old when he was born, it was almost as though they were grandparents instead.  Intricate cross-stitch pictures hung on the walls; the pieces and parts of his mother's life scattered about on every horizontal surface. Memories flooded through his spirit and the heaviness he felt when he started this journey wrapped around his soul. Of course, it had been too long since he was here. Of course, he should have made more time to see his mother, care for her better, and help her around the house. Coming home now when the house was practically falling apart clawed at his heart.

He closed his eyes, and the years he'd been gone scattered. Visions of high school and a young man who wanted to take on the world slowly came into focus. But he wanted to take on the world with someone special at his side and the fact that the one he'd chosen hadn't felt the same way bore a hole into his heart the size of the Pacific Ocean.

"How soon do you want to get started on the repairs?" he asked. "I'll need to get back to my place eventually, you know. The sooner we get going, the sooner we can get it on the market."

"The retirement home isn't expecting me until next month. We have that much time. I don't want to put it up for sale until I've moved out. I'm not interested in watching strangers paw through my home."

"That's fine. I may have to run back to Portland once or twice to check on business. But I'll make sure it all gets done."

"I've made a list. You can look it over later." Sharon pushed the blanket aside and stood. J.R. walked over to offer help. She gave him a stink-eye. "I've been living alone for a long time," she said with a grimace. "When I need your help, I'll ask for it."

"Yes, Mama." J.R. ran his hand over his face and stood back, following her lead into the kitchen.

The smells of hearty comfort food teased J.R.'s nose as they entered the kitchen in the back of the house. "Smells good," he said with a deep breath.

"It's a new recipe, but it has all the basics of a good stew." Mama took a potholder from the drawer beside the stove and opened the oven door.

Waves of rich beef scents with spicy seasoning floated through the room and J.R. enjoyed the delectable fragrance. "How soon will it be ready?" he asked, realizing he hadn't eaten since long before he left his apartment earlier that day.

"Soon."

J.R. sat down at the kitchen table while Sharon slowly moved from counter to counter putting together the ingredients for biscuits. Watching his mother carefully, he tamped down the guilt from being gone for so long. He may not have been here physically, but he called her every Sunday with updates on what was happening in his life. He simply didn't know how to explain his reluctance to return to a place that held so many good memories gone bad. It had been easier to focus on college and then work and push away everything that reminded him of this little podunk town; except for Mama.

Maybe if he knew where Junior Brown lived, he could relax and feel more comfortable. But if he asked Mama, she would be curious and eventually figure out Junior had something to do with his long absence. He wasn't ready to divulge the embarrassing actions that led to his broken heart. Someone in this town would know, and he'd try to get the information while he shopped for supplies for the renovation.

"Anything I can do to help? I'm pretty good in the kitchen."

Sharon laughed. "No need. I'll just get the biscuits done and by the time they've baked, dinner will be ready."

J.R. stood and walked over to the sink. He couldn't sit still and let her do all the work when he was here now to take care of her. "I'll just do up these dishes then until it's time."

Giving her son a slanted glance, she said, "You just do that."

The sound of a small engine needing muffler service roared down the driveway and stopped in front of the detached garage behind the house. A door slammed shut, and J.R. heard singing, but it was too far away to distinguish the words. Crisp steps on the back deck alerted J.R. to the newcomer approaching the door to the kitchen, and he glanced at Mama. She hadn't seemed to notice, continuing to cut small mounds of biscuit and slipping them onto the greased cookie sheet on the counter.

"Company?" J.R. asked.

"My tenant out back," Sharon answered cryptically.

"You have a—"

"Mama! I'm home," the young female voice announced. "Whose truck is parked out front? I brought ice cream and brownie mix for dessert." With her head hidden behind a grocery sack, J.R. couldn't identify the voice, but a shiver rolled through him.

Sharon turned slightly. "That's great, Julianna. Dinner is almost ready."

Julianna Brown marched into the kitchen and settled her bag on the counter next to the refrigerator. Without a passing glance, she opened the door to the freezer and tucked the ice cream inside. Then she opened the fridge and took out a carton of eggs. "I'll get the brownies ready to go into the oven while the biscuits are baking." Turning toward the sink where J.R. still stood, frozen in place, Julianna let out a small scream and the carton of eggs shattered on the floor. "What the hell?"

"Julianna! Your language."

"Sorry, Mama."

J.R. sucked in a ragged breath. "Junior?"

If eyes could kill, J.R. would be six feet under. Unprepared for his reminiscences to suddenly come to life, he grabbed onto the kitchen counter for support. He staggered as he was pushed aside when Julianna grabbed a paper towel from beside the sink and made quick work of the egg mess on the floor. He wobbled again as she dumped it all into the garbage can under the sink. When she finally looked at him again, the daggers were gone and only a bland expression remained.

"Hello, J.R."

"Junior," he repeated.

"You know, no one has called me that in a long time. I'd forgotten how much I hate it."

"Julianna," cautioned Sharon.

"Mama, I think I'll have dinner in my trailer tonight. You two enjoy your reunion." Wiping her hands on the towel hanging from the stove, Julianna headed for the back door.

"Stop!" When Sharon Bentley raised her voice, everyone froze. "You're having dinner with us whether you want to or not. You're going to be a part of this, and we're all going to get along."

J.R. faced his mother. "A part of what?" he asked.

"A part of the renovation."

"I don't think so," he said. "I can get it all done on my own."

Sharon's eyes narrowed. "Probably. You're a big-time real estate developer now. But you've only got a month, and you're going to need some help. Julianna can help. She's been keeping this place up for a long time."

"No wonder it's about to fall down," J.R. said without thinking.

"Can I kill him now?" growled Julianna.

Sharon laughed. "Not yet. He just got here. J.R., you need to apologize. Why, if it wasn't for Julianna, I'd be falling through stairs, living with leaky pipes, and catching rain in buckets all over the second floor. She's been a big help."

"He doesn't need to apologize. I'd just as soon have everything on the up and up," Julianna interjected. "That way I can keep hating him."

"Julianna!"

"Sorry, Mama. No filter tonight. Charlie's was busy, and it's been a long day," she said as she took out the oil from the cupboard. "I don't know why everyone needed groceries today."

"You forget that filter more times than not," Sharon reprimanded. Turning to J.R., she said, "And you'd better find yours, too."

J.R. walked over to the table and sat, uncertain if his legs would continue to hold him up. Junior was here in his mama's house, and it appeared she was an integral part of his mother's life. How long had she been here? Why hadn't Mama ever mentioned her living here? How would he ever be able to focus on the job to be done with her around? And Mama wanted her to help him? Like that would happen. Dear Lord, he prayed, what have I gotten myself into?

Easing the oven door open, Sharon reached for the Dutch oven holding the stew. In a nano-second, Julianna took the potholders from her hands and shooed her out of the way. "I've got this. Go sit down and talk with your son." The stew came out, and the biscuit tray slid in quickly. Taking a bowl from the corner cabinet, she dumped in all the ingredients for the brownies and stirred as though she was whipping cream.

"Slow down, Julianna," Sharon said, "you're not beating it into submission. It's better when it's just barely blended, remember?"

Julianna's hands stopped spinning. "Sorry, Mama." She retrieved a baking dish from under the oven, greased it, and poured the thoroughly blended brownie batter in.

J.R. felt like he was in a time-warp, and the earth was spinning out of control. His worst nightmare was standing in his mother's kitchen, and he'd only been here an hour. He checked his phone, a cover for trying to think of a way out of working with Junior Brown. Why was she living in the travel trailer? What was she doing taking care of his mama? How in the world did Mama think he could work with her on fixing up this house? Absentmindedly, he got up and took dishes out of the cupboard to set the table, while a thousand images raced through his brain, each fighting for dominance. Shaking his head to rid himself of their scratching grasp, he slapped the plates and bowls onto the table.

"James!"

"Sorry, Mama."

"Oh, good grief," Sharon exclaimed. "This will never do." Sharon moved the dishes and cutlery to their places around the table. "Julianna, bring everything over to the table and sit down."

The stew pot landed hard on the table while Julianna shot withering darts toward J.R. Unfortunately, Sharon took the seat at the head of the table, forcing Julianna to sit directly across from him. J.R. took the stew and started helping himself.

"Wait," Sharon said abruptly.

"What?" J.R. felt like he couldn't do anything right anymore as the pot landed back in the center of the table.

"Grace," came the answer across from him.

Julianna's smirk wounded J.R. She had riled him up to the point of forgetting to say grace. Now his mama and Julianna would think he never said it when he was home which was not true. He didn't really care what Junior thought, but he did care what his mama thought. "I'm sorry. I'm...I'm...I don't know what I am, but I usually say grace," he insisted.

"Of course, you do," Sharon said with a pat on his hand.

"I'm not five Mama,"

"Then stop acting like it and say grace."

"Yes, Mama."

CHAPTER TWO

J ulianna peeked over her fork at J.R. He sure looked good. The last time she had seen him had been graduation day from high school. They had both been scrawny kids. But J.R. wasn't scrawny anymore. He had grown up and filled out. Always the cutest boy in school, his looks matured and he was now a whole lot of handsome. From his long, black denim-clad legs to his dark green Henley that couldn't hide the muscles she knew were real and not gym-induced, he simply smoldered.

Shivers ran down her spine just as the timer went off. She jumped up to retrieve the biscuits from the oven, replacing the golden-brown morsels with the brownie pan and reset the timer. Once the plate of piping hot biscuits landed on the table, she resumed eating her dinner. She stabbed a chunk of beef, rolling it around in her gravy before taking a bite. A little of the sour feeling she had when she first saw him sweetened, but she was an old hand at guarding her feelings. He couldn't touch her now.

"So, what's the plan, Mama?" Julianna tore her gaze away from J.R.'s soul-searching eyes.

Sharon put down her fork. "Hand me that notebook there at the end of the table."

J.R. and Julianna both reached for the book, their hands landing on either side of it at the same time.

"Let go," said J.R.

"You let go," countered Julianna.

"Just let go, dammit,"

"J.R.! Your language."

"Sorry, Mama." J.R. released the book, and Julianna gave him a winning smile of victory.

When Sharon was opening the notebook and looking down, he shot daggers at Julianna.

Her smile only got bigger.

Sharon found the page she needed and turned the book around to show J.R. the "to do" list for the renovations.

J.R. smiled this time, a triumphant gleam in his eyes as he lowered them to read the list. It was Julianna's turn to glare. After skimming the list J.R. coughed, choking on his last bite of stew. "Are you kidding?" he asked.

"What?" asked Sharon.

"We can't possibly get this much done in a month. Why do you need all this done just to sell the place?"

"I need as much money as I can get."

"But the cost of these renovations won't be worth the sales price. You'll never get your money's worth."

"I disagree." Julianna zeroed in on J.R. "Mama's been looking over the market in the area, and we should get a pretty penny for this place once it's looking nice again."

"I object to you calling my mother 'Mama' and what you may think is a pretty penny isn't enough when you consider all the things on this list. And what do you mean 'we'?"

Julianna cocked her head and didn't answer.

The silence lasted until Sharon groaned. "This is ridiculous," she said, exasperation escaping her lips. "She calls me 'Mama' because I asked her to. Julianna has been a part of the planning for this renovation since I decided I couldn't keep up this big house anymore. It's as much her project as it is mine."

J.R. looked doubtful. Julianna focused on her food again, trying to figure out a way to ignore how handsome he turned out and how much her insides quaked when she thought about him. Pushing those feelings down into a dark hole in her heart, she squared her shoulders. "I've got vacation coming up in a few days, and I'm planning to help full time while I'm off work. We can get it all done if we divide and conquer, so to speak."

"Divide and conquer," J.R. repeated thoughtfully.

"Sure. You know. You take the upstairs and I'll take the downstairs. We'll get twice as much done in half the time." And, hopefully, we won't have to run into each other much, Julianna thought.

J.R. turned his attention back to the list and ran his finger down the page. With a frustrated sigh, he said, "I'm not sure you understand how this renovation will actually work. If you do it piece-meal like that you'll make twice as many trips to the store and waste a bunch of time duplicating effort. Like this," he said, pointing to the notation on the paper where "new cabinets" was written, "if we're going to install new cabinets, we should do it all at once after the old ones are all torn out." Turning back to Sharon, he asked, "have you even ordered the new cabinets? They take, like, six weeks to be delivered sometimes."

"Don't worry," Sharon fussed. "Jake Carter is going to build the cabinets for me, and he said he could have them done in two weeks once we figure out what we want."

"Two weeks," J.R. repeated. "That's not possible."

"It is when he's going to drop everything for me as soon as we give him the order."

"He said that? That he was going to drop everything?"

Julianna laughed. It was pretty obvious J.R. had been gone a long time. Mama was an institution in this town and most people bent over backwards to help her. She doubted J.R. knew half the stuff Sharon Bentley did for the townspeople. He certainly couldn't know what Sharon had done for her. She looked forward to him finding out. In fact, she might even enjoy being the one to tell him. Well, maybe not everything.

Sharon narrowed her eyes. Julianna knew she didn't like to be contradicted. "He did, and he will. I have his word on it."

"Oh well, if you have his word then, of course, he'll drop everything."

"I don't need any of your sass, J.R. I would think after having grown up in this town you might remember what folks here are like. But it seems as though your city living has dulled your memory."

J.R. flashed a look at Julianna she couldn't decipher. "No Mama, I haven't forgotten growing up here. But I was still mostly a boy when I left, and I didn't know you had those kinds of connections."

"Jake Carter has been a friend of mine since before I can remember. People like that help each other."

Julianna couldn't keep her mouth shut. "Like when Jake's wife died, and Mama took him meals for a week and then invited him to Sunday dinner for a year."

"Hush."

"Well, you did," Julianna asserted. She pinned J.R. down with her eyes and raised one eyebrow, challenging him to argue with her.

"I guess when we talked every week, you didn't mention all your good Samaritan activities." J.R. smiled at his mama and Julianna saw a glimpse of the boy she once knew. Her heart softened just a hair, and she took in a deep breath to reinforce the steel wall she'd put in place ten years ago. Just because he was nice to his mama didn't make him a nice person.

As Julianna settled into her bed that night, she couldn't stop the memories from flooding her mind. Rolling with frame after frame of scenes of the two of them, her and J.R., growing up together brought a smile she didn't have to fight since she was alone in her trailer. They'd had some good times; some great times. J.R. had practically saved her life being the best friend she needed when Maureen and Earl Hobson took her in. Life with Earl wasn't half bad as long as she stayed out of his sight. Maureen had tried to be a good mother, but never having children of her own and trying to deal with a freaked-out, insecure, rebellious ten-year old, she never could figure out what to do with Julianna.

They called her J.R., too, and when she started school and she discovered another kid in her class named J.R., she thought their friendship was destiny. But all day, every day their names kept getting confused. Their teacher started calling her by her given name, Julianna, which she absolutely hated. Finally, J.R. came up with a solution, suggesting the teacher put Julianna's "r" in lower case to keep them separate. In time, everyone just called her Junior since that's what her name looked like. Heaven knew she was more of a tomboy and J.R.'s shadow then, so Junior fit. It wasn't until senior year in high school that she felt uncomfortable with the name. Just like she felt uncomfortable being so close to J.R. and him not seeing her as a girl, just the buddy she'd been for all those years. Then, everything changed right before graduation.

At that point Julianna shut her mind off. She was not going there. Thinking about those last few days in high school turned her stomach sour. She refused to dwell on the stupid things she'd done and the way her world turned upside-down. When J.R. left town and Sharon said he wasn't ever coming back, Julianna finally breathed again.

Closing her eyes and finding her center, she let the strain of the evening slowly dissipate out her fingers and toes, reaching inside for that calm she knew came from the Holy Spirit. In her prayers she couldn't be thankful J.R. was here, but she could be thankful Sharon had help so she could get the house sold and move into the retirement home she'd picked out. Julianna would miss her when the time came, but she couldn't fault Sharon's enthusiasm. She closed her eyes and thought of her own volunteer work at the hospital and how much peace it brought her.

J.R. tossed again in his bed, fighting to get the vision of Junior—Julianna—Brown out of his head. Mama never did say why she was living in the trailer in the backyard, side-stepping his question every time he asked. The fact that she had grown into a beautiful woman didn't surprise him in the least. She was always too pretty for her own good. Watching her grow up from a gangly pre-teen to a stunning young woman had unnerved him too many times to count.

How she had missed his growing attraction while they were in high school still confused him. Didn't she own a mirror? He supposed Earl and Maureen's sometimes lax, sometimes torturous care made it impossible for Junior to see herself the way he saw her. Her subtle charm and humility acted like a magnet to his soul. He was certain they would be together always. When she dumped him in front of her friend, Stacy, on graduation day, he took it hard. The anger built quickly and strong, like pouring a foundation with one percent hot water. Before he could think again, the wall he created was as hard as concrete, and the only way to move on was to move out.

What surprised him the most was that she was still in Cooper Springs. Her dreams of going to college and getting away from the Hobsons had been the major topic of their conversations during senior year. She'd been accepted at Oregon State and even applied for a housing scholarship. Did she go to college and then come back? Why? It frustrated him that he couldn't ask her. There had been a time when they knew everything about each other. Those days were the stuff of fairy tales, but when their story ended, there wasn't a happily-ever-after, just J.R. with his heart in his shoes and a girlfriend that wasn't even a friend anymore. He'd been glad to leave that summer.

Pouring his energy into his university classes and then, into his work had been a salvation. Meeting Bob Daniels and working under his tutelage for a couple years put him in an ideal spot to start his own business. Bob was like a father to him at a time when J.R. had missed his dad so much it hurt to breathe. Between that loss and Junior's abandonment, Bob filled a hole that sometimes felt as deep as Crater Lake.

Learning every aspect of construction, J.R. used his college education for the business end of his new company and Bob's instruction for the building end. With seed money from Bob, which J.R. was able to repay in only two years, J.R.'s construction company flourished. Bob had been the grateful one then, allowing him to move his family to a hundred-acre farm in eastern Oregon. But he never stopped coaching J.R., even from a distance.

It was Bob who convinced J.R. he could take some time to help Mama. He had gently ordered J.R. to pack his bag right then, while they were on the phone, telling him that someday he would be grateful for the time he had to spend with her. Bob just didn't know about the other ghosts in Cooper Springs. Still, when he thought and prayed about it, coming back was the right decision.

With the morning light, he listened to the little engine that roared as it faded in the distance. J.R. threw his blankets to the side and headed for the shower.

Finding Mama in the kitchen a few minutes later, he greeted her with a nod, poured himself a glass of orange juice and popped a couple pieces of bread into the toaster. Mornings had always been quiet in this house. Mama said it was a time for reflection and thanking the good Lord for another day to live and breathe and work. But with the list of projects ahead of him, J.R. couldn't let the morning go by in silence.

"Let's look at that list again and figure out what needs to be done first," he offered. The olive branch was necessary if it would get Mama to tell Junior they didn't need her.

"Okay," she said, as she filled her mug with another cup of her favorite herbal tea and sat down at the table. "We need to tackle the big stuff first and if we have to wait for something, we'll fill in with the little stuff."

"It might work like that," J.R. conceded, "but let's make sure we aren't finishing something that will be in the way of the next thing and have to be redone."

"Oh, that's a good idea."

J.R. smiled and patted his mama's hand. "That's why I'm here, Mama."

A cloud passed over Sharon's face, but didn't last long. J.R. didn't need her to say anything to feed his guilt. Her infrequent visits to Portland didn't amount to a whole lot of time and phone calls just weren't the same. He needed to change the subject. "It felt great sleeping in my old bed last night." Even though he hadn't slept much, he thought.

"It's nice to have another body in the house. I've always liked the quiet, but with just me, well, I've been lonely."

Gently taking her hand, he said softly, "I understand Mama, but even if I lived in town, I would have my own place by now."

"I suppose so." The air was thick with unsaid accusations and regrets. Neither of them wanted to start an argument or cause a problem while J.R. was there. Was it better to let it go or should he clear the air?

"Where's the list?" J.R. didn't want to dwell on the past or his absence.

CHAPTER THREE

J. R. put his pen down and rubbed his hand over his face. He hadn't prepared for the kind of projects Mama would expect to complete before they could put the house up for sale. Still struggling with whether it was worth the time and money and if they would be able to recoup the expenses once it was marketable, he took a deep breath and headed for the kitchen for some sustenance. Mama always kept cookies in the cupboard. When he was younger, they were made fresh once or twice a week. Now she bought her favorites at the grocery store. It wasn't quite the same, he thought, but better than nothing. Mama came in from outside.

"Where've you been?" he asked with a mouthful of Oreos.

"Just wandering," she said.

"I've put together a little timeline I'd like to go over with you."

"Okay." The wilted way she briefly closed her eyes gnawed at J.R.'s conscience. They hadn't even begun the renovation and already he could see she was weary of it.

He swallowed his cookie. "Come into the living room, and I'll tell you what I have in mind."

Sitting down on the bedraggled sofa, J.R. opened the notebook with the list and his notes. For the next hour they discussed the various places the house needed absolute repair and which tasks were optional. Initially, Mama wouldn't give an inch. She wanted everything on the list done.

In the end, she was willing to allow that some things weren't all that necessary for selling. After all, if the basement didn't have a utility sink all these years, why would they need to install one now? And the attic bedroom didn't really need new paint. In fact, J.R. convinced Mama she needed to purposefully leave some things for the new owners. They were hard fought concessions, but he felt he was making progress. Thinking ahead toward dinner—was he always this hungry?—he asked Mama if Junior ate with her every night.

"Only sometimes," she said. "She has her own life, and she can make simple meals in the trailer.

"Should I plan for her tonight?"

"Oh, yes." Mama's voice brightened. "She said she would eat with us while you're here, so we can discuss the project over dinner.

"She didn't sound particularly excited to eat with us last night."

"Well, I may not have told her exactly who was contracting the project."

J.R.'s eyes widened as he stared at this mother. "I was a surprise?"

"Something like that."

"No wonder she lashed out." Somehow, he needed to sit down and talk it out with Junior if he was ever going to move past the hurt. "I thought I'd make you my famous Manly Mac."

Mama laughed. "I didn't think you fixed that heart attack in a dish anymore."

J.R. joined her laughter. "Not very often but being here brings out the kid in me." He ignored Mama's raised eyebrows. "Do you have bacon and hamburger?"

"Of course."

"Just checking. I'll get dinner started, and we can eat as soon as Junior gets home." Saying "Junior" and "home" in the same sentence caused J.R. to inwardly wince. The idea of seeing her every night for as long as he was here shook him to the core. Like a penitence for a serious sin, J.R. couldn't help but wonder what he did that was so terrible.

Mama followed J.R. into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Pulling out a frying pan, he said, "I figured we'd start with the upstairs and work our way down. That way, the project won't affect your living space until it's absolutely necessary. It's no fun trying to rest in a construction zone. Junior can start with the downstairs guest room."

"Won't that take more time?"

"I think we'll make it up over the course of the project." He pulled the bacon from the refrigerator and carefully laid several pieces in the frying pan.

"I still think you and Julianna should just work together. Working separately will take longer, not get done sooner."

J.R. knew she was right, but he couldn't imagine working side-by-side with Junior for the entire project. They'd be ready to chop each other into kindling by the end of the first day. "Maybe." Ambiguity always worked for stalling for time. Many times, he had used that tactic in his work and ended up either walking away from a project doomed to fail or timing something just right.

"Whatever happened between you two, J.R.?" Mama said so low, he wasn't sure he heard her.

"I don't know, Mama. I thought...I thought...well," J.R. rubbed his hand over his face, his habit when he was thinking hard. "I guess I thought we would always be together. And by together, I mean...well, you know what I mean. Anyway, she threw me to the curb and broke all contact."

The bacon started to sizzle. The conversation seemed to fade away. Just as well. He didn't know what he would say anyway. He was pretty sure Mama knew how close they had been in high school, but she never asked any questions. Maybe if she had he would have found out sooner what the problem was that made Junior sever all ties. As it was, he never fought for the two of them and that knowledge ate at him. Basically, he convinced himself that he didn't feel as strongly toward her as his eighteen-year old heart thought. He just let her push him away.

Turning the bacon a second time, he took a pound of hamburger from the fridge. Leaving the cooked bacon on a paper towel covered plate, he slid the meat into the same pan to brown. His version of glorified macaroni and cheese wasn't too healthy, but it sure tasted good. Maybe serving something they shared so often in the past would soften Junior around the edges. She might even drop her guard long enough to have a decent conversation with him. Inwardly, he shrugged. He could hope.

Before long, the mac and cheese was keeping warm on the stove, and J.R. had tossed a fresh green salad to make up for the carbs and calories of the main dish. Right on time, the little engine that could—as J.R. started thinking of Junior's car—made its way down the driveway and roared to a stop in front of the garage. J. R. braced for impact.

Julianna swung open the door to the kitchen and breezed in. The day had gone well and she was certain Brad Taylor was eying her for the assistant manager opening they were trying to fill. If she could secure the position, she'd be on her way to a full-time management job which meant more money and better hours. Eight years as a cashier at Charlie's grocery store showed strong loyalty and dedication. Brad had taken her aside only last week and asked if the position interested her. Without trying to sound too anxious, she had told him that was where she was hoping to direct her career.

Her career! What a laugh. Before she graduated from high school, she had all kinds of plans and hopes and dreams. It's funny how foolish actions could change the course of someone's life. Looking at it in reverse, she supposed there were other things she could have done and still gone to college, but she'd been broken, heartsick, and clueless about the way the world really worked. And she knew nothing of God then. Knowing what she knew now, having God in her life, she would have made different decisions. But she couldn't go back, and she was too old to go to college now. Besides, she needed the job to support herself. She was going to have to move soon, and she wasn't sure...well, no need to follow that train of thought. She would survive. She always did. And this time, she did know God, and He was on her side. It was all she had, but it was enough.

"Hello everyone," she said to the room. Taking in a big sniff in the direction of the stove, she said, "Smells wonderful, like bacon." J.R. leaned against the kitchen counter, a grocer's apron draped over his neck. Julianna's heart revved up a little, and she looked at Sharon so he wouldn't see he had any effect on her.  "How was your day, Mama?"

"Good, good. J.R. and I went over the list. We can talk about it over dinner."

"I'm glad you made some progress. I'll just get washed up. Is it ready?"

J.R. grabbed three plates from the cupboard and took them to the table. "As soon as you are."

Julianna made quick use of the downstairs bath and returned to the kitchen just as J.R. finished putting the dishes on the table. Seeing the salad, she grabbed the salad dressings from the fridge and set them next to the bowl of greens. If she could have avoided the seating arrangement, she would, but Mama's spot was taken at the head of the table and that left her facing J.R. yet again. Why, oh why did she ever tell Mama she would come for dinner every night of the renovation? Oh yeah, she thought it would be less stressful than going home after working on the house all day and fixing something for herself. Fat chance.

Sharon said grace and they served up the dinner.

"How was your day, dear?" Sharon inquired.

"It was good. Brad is considering me for the assistant manager job. I think I have a pretty good chance."

J.R. looked up but didn't say anything.

"That's what you've been hoping for, right?" Sharon asked.

"Yeah. I've been there the longest of any of the other cashiers, and I don't think there are too many applicants." The condemning silence from J.R.'s side of the table breathed hard on Julianna. Forcing herself to dissipate the pressure, she nodded to J.R. "I mentioned to a few people you were back in town today. Everyone wants to see you."

"Oh," he said, sitting up a little taller as he filled his plate with the mac and cheese. "Like who?"

"Like...oh! Manly Mac! I haven't had this in years." Julianna smiled her first unfiltered, real smile since she first saw J.R. again. "This is so good."

"I'm glad you approve." J.R.'s clipped voice had an edge Julianna couldn't quite figure out. "Like who?" he repeated.

"Oh, yeah, like...like Mrs. Robinson, our tenth grade English teacher." Julianna paused, trying to remember, but J.R.'s penetrating gaze bore a hole in her armor. Her heart hadn't settled down yet, and her palms were clammy. Hiding his effect on her dominated her thoughts and she couldn't concentrate on the question. "Oh, and Mrs. Young from summer camp. She's got five kids now. They are so cute. The youngest one is about two, and he's all over the place when she comes into the store. She keeps saying we need one of those babysitting booths like Kimmers in Bend. I just laugh. We're so small I don't think she understands what we would have to do to offer that kind of service. And then the little guy—his name is Tony—was screaming because she wouldn't let him have a bag of candy. And—"

"Who else?" J.R. interrupted.

"Oh, sorry. Um, I can't remember. I think there might have been a couple of people from high school."

"Really? Don, Karl, Steve, any of those guys?"

Julianna laughed. "No, they don't generally shop for groceries in the middle of a weekday."

"Oh, sure. They're probably working. Any idea what they're doing these days?

"Well, Don is still around, running his father's print shop now. They do a lot of ads for the grocery store. When Karl graduated from college, he moved to Salem for a new job. I think he got married there, but I'm not sure. And Steve, Stacy's hubby number one, took off after the divorce. I have no idea where he is."

"Hubby number one? He married Stacy Smith?" J.R. took another bite of dinner.

"Yeah, right after high school. Surprised everyone. But it only lasted about a year. You could look Don up."

"Who else did Stacy marry?"

Julianna couldn't help her eyes from narrowing. "Why so interested in Stacy?"

"Isn't she your best friend?"

"Not for a long time."

Sharon interjected, "Stacy married Devon Ashworth and then Jim Grant."

J.R. turned to his mama, "She's married to Jim now?"

Julianna laughed. "Well, she was until last month. You should have seen her celebrate her divorce two weeks ago. I heard they had to call the cops to take her home from Pat's Tavern."

"Julianna," Mama scolded, "that was just a rumor and you shouldn't repeat it. You don't gossip."

"Sorry, Mama." Sometimes remembering her manners was hard. But she loved Mama and wouldn't do or say anything to purposefully upset her. "Anyway," she said, turning to J.R. with a wicked gleam in her eye, "She's totally available again. Maybe you'd like to become hubby number four?"

J.R. choked on his mouthful of food and couldn't clear his throat until after several coughing attacks and almost a full glass of water. "Nice try, Junior," he finally croaked.

CHAPTER FOUR

“I
can start up here and you can start on the second floor. Then we'll work our way down. Mama wants the attic bedroom painted and the floor refinished." Julianna’s adamant voice echoed in the room. Julianna, J.R. and Mama had all made the trek upstairs to the third floor to look over the work to be done.

"But Mama said she didn't mind if this was left alone," argued J.R., talking over Sharon's head.

"It will look stupid if it's left undone. Everything else in the house will be updated and this will be left looking shabby." Julianna's voice raised a little. "No offense, Mama," she said, giving Sharon a nod.

"Most people won't even come up this far when they look at the house initially. And when they fall in love with the rest of the renovations, they won't care, and they can do what they want with it. With three bedrooms on the second floor and two on the main floor, it will probably only be used for storage anyway. It would just be a waste of money." J.R. wasn't willing to budge on this. Mama only had a certain amount money and if they could save here, they could use it somewhere else more important.

"You don't know that!" Visibly annoyed, Julianna rested her hands on her hips and continued, "You can't possibly know whether the people who buy this house won't have a whole passel of kids and need every bedroom."

"I've been in the real estate business for several years. I see the trends. I know the market," J.R. insisted.

"You don't know this area. You haven't been here for ten years."

J.R. didn't need yet another reminder that he'd been away for so long. Taking a deep breath, he tried again, "It isn't worth the cost. You seem to have a real easy time spending Mama's money."

The accusation hit its target. Julianna's eyes got big and watery. "How dare you! Do you know what I've done for her? Do you know...I can't...I can't even tell you what I've done because I promised Mama it was a way for me to pay her back for being there for me when I needed it. But you should know I've been very helpful!"

It was another backhanded jab. J.R. crossed his arms over his chest. "I would think living in the trailer would give you some insight into pinching pennies and being more resourceful."

"Pinching pennies? Resourceful?" Julianna practically growled. "You don't know anything about the way I've had to live. I am the poster child for pinching pennies!" Julianna's eyes radiated fury.

"Then why can't you see the benefits of saving money here?"

"Because that's not what Mama wants!"

"She agreed!"

"Stop!" Mama shouted.

The room sank blissfully into silence, and J.R. and Julianna turned red faces toward Sharon.

"That's enough. I feel like locking you two in this room and not opening it up until you can be civil to each other."

"We'd kill each other first," J.R. muttered.

Julianna's glare only fueled his fire.

With all the calm he could muster, J.R. spoke hardly above a whisper. "What do you really want, Mama?"

"Besides you two to get along?"

"Yes, besides that."

"I think we can compromise. Maybe when we paint the downstairs rooms there will be enough paint left over to paint this room, too. It's not very big and if we put one of the downstairs rugs up here to cover the bad spots on the floor, it will still look pretty good even without refinishing it. If we don't have enough paint, I think we could splurge for an extra gallon."

J.R. thought for a few moments before answering. It wasn't a bad idea, but he just knew Junior would see it as a victory against him. "I was only thinking about your finances, Mama."

Mama patted J.R.'s arm. "I know, son, and I'm grateful, but there's enough money to do this. If there wasn't, I wouldn't even start."

Putting aside his animosity toward Junior, he agreed. "Okay, we'll paint up here later but not refinish the floor. When we're ready to furnish the rooms, we'll bring one of the area rugs up here to cover the floor. Okay?" he asked, staring at Junior.

Julianna rubbed her forehead. "Fine."

It wasn't much, but at least they had come to an agreement. J.R. sighed. "Let's go down to the second floor and go over the list again."

Sharon nodded, and headed for the narrow stairs that led to the attic room.

Julianna sidled up next to J.R. and whispered, "You better not shut down everything she wants, or we'll spend the majority of our time arguing."

J.R. worked to repress a shiver at her close proximity. All through high school he hid his feelings for Junior until he thought he would burst. Then, after they were finally a couple for a few short weeks, she'd told him to get lost. His heart had shattered. He thought she could never affect him again, but the sweet scent of her shampoo and soft voice rippled through him and awakened something he couldn't control. "I don't suppose you could just let me run this project?" J.R. whispered back.

"Not on your life," she said, a little louder as she reached the top of the stairs.

"Junior!" his whisper shouted.

Julianna turned on her heel and gave him her full attention. "What?"

"Why?"

"Why what?" she asked. But she must have known what he was asking because her gaze dropped to the floor, and her cheeks turned pink.

"We need to talk."

"Most worrisome four words in the English language," she said. "No, J.R., we don't need to talk. Too much time has gone by, and I've moved on.

"You make it sound like I was the one who broke up with you."

"Well, seen from a certain angle, you did. I just sealed the ends of the break."

"But I don't know why you think that."

"It doesn't matter now. And we have work to do. Mama's waiting."

"We're going to talk about this before I leave again."

Julianna turned again and stood on the top step. "Yeah? How's that working for you so far?" Without bothering to see J.R.'s reaction, she practically ran down the stairs.

Julianna and J.R. began the arduous task of removing all the furniture from the rooms on the second floor. She had lost the fight of working separately, and whenever they were together, the jabs and sparks were enough to light up the reader board over the parking lot at Charlie's. She didn't believe he didn't understand what broke them up, and she had no intention of bringing it up. That road led to tears, and she had shed enough.

The methodical exercise of scanning groceries left her too much time to think. She still had a week before her vacation kicked in, and her time at work puttered along as slow as the molasses in Mama's gingerbread cookies. The only break in the monotony was Brad's request to come see him before she left for the day, except it gave her a feeling of foreboding instead of anticipation. The meeting had to be about the assistant manager position, and she had a hard time believing anyone else in the store was more qualified than her.

Promptly at the end of her shift, she found herself leaning against the door jamb of his office. Lightly tapping on the open door, she let him know she was there.

"Oh, Julianna," he said, all business in his crisp, blunt manner. "Come in, and close the door, please."

Julianna did as he requested, turned in her cash drawer, and took a seat in the tattered faux-leather chair in front of his desk. His eyes went back to whatever held their attention on his computer screen and she sat up straight like she had been called in to the principal's office at school. Nothing positive ever came from being called to the school office. He seemed nervous, repeatedly clearing his throat, his eyes darting back and forth between the paper on his desk to his computer screen. He didn't look at her at all and red flags started flying.

"So," he began, clearing his throat yet again, "I wanted to talk with you about your application for the assistant manager's job."

"Okaaay," she said, her concern dragging the word out a little.

"Yes, w...well," he stammered, "we've filled the position."

Julianna waited. Her hands clasped each other on her lap as she watched him swallow hard.

"There was an application submitted before yours and we've decided, that is, the owner decided to offer the position to this original applicant." His huge sigh following his statement was evidence that he knew this wasn't going to go over well.

"Before mine," she reiterated calmly.

The calm must have given Brad courage. When he acknowledged her comment, he didn't look as nervous.

"Someone already working in the store?" she asked.

"As a matter of fact, no, this person answered our ad on Craigslist."

"Someone from the outside."

"Yes," he said. "I know you were counting on the job, but he comes with a lot of supervisory experience which the owner felt made enough of a difference."

"Supervisory experience."

"It's important in this job for that kind of experience, you know."

"Just to be clear, you're saying that my experience training every cashier hired in the last four years and scheduling the cleaning crew and the warehouse crew doesn't really count. Not to mention how everyone knows me and always turns to me whenever you're not here."

"Of course, it counted. It's just that this new guy has more experience in a bigger store and the owner felt that having someone from the outside would create a better separation between the staff and management."

"Separation."

"Yes." Brad's confidence waned, and he tugged at the neck of his shirt. "The owner feels that putting someone into the position who hasn't been a part of the staff would generate respect and obedience to the policies and rules we are required to follow."

"And they don't feel I could bring that kind of respect to the job?"

"It was only one of the factors, you see."

"No, Mr. Taylor," Julianna's control of her emotions wavered, "I don't see. The other cashiers respect me. They are always coming to me with their questions. The box boys and warehouse staff respect me. They always treat me in a dignified manner. Everyone I work with is nice to me and follows my instructions when I've been assigned to give them."

"I'm sure that's true."

"Then I don't understand."

"I'm sorry, Julianna. It wasn't up to me. I was only a small part of the decision."

"Did you..." she wasn't sure she could even ask. The old saying of don't ask a question you can't stand to hear the answer to loomed in her head. But she had to know. "Did you even go to bat for me?"

Brad looked down at his papers, his fingers lifting and tapping them into already perfect order. "Of course, I did."

He was lying to her. Julianna could tell. Why wouldn't he have gone to bat for her? He didn't want her as his assistant? She worked hard, hardly ever took a sick day, always worked the evening and weekend shift to cover for vacations and everyone liked her! The sting of tears pierced the back of her eyes, but she wouldn't let them reach the surface. There was no use fighting it. It was a done deal.

"When does the new guy start?" she asked, not even trying to hide the vacant sound from her voice.

"Uh," Brad stammered. "Tomorrow."

"I see." Julianna stood and took a deep breath. "You know I'm going to be on vacation starting next week, right?"

"Yes, I was going to ask if you could postpone your vacation in order to train him."

Nothing like rubbing salt into the wound. "I think instead I'll start my vacation tomorrow. Lila and Bobby can train him. You won't have any problem with that, will you?" she asked. When Brad looked up, he flinched at the anger she could no longer hide. A pinch of fear coupled with sorrow filled his eyes, and she almost felt sorry for him.

"That'll be fine. Enjoy your time off."

Julianna grunted as she turned and left the office.

Sitting in her car, working hard to fight the flood of tears, she tried to look at the bright side. She would have more time to help with the house now. As much as she put it on that she hated J.R.'s guts, a small part of her was excited about spending all day and all evening with him until the project was done. She hurried home, still wrestling the disappointment from losing out on the job.

CHAPTER FIVE

"I 'm glad you have the extra time off," J.R. said sincerely. "We'll be able to get done sooner this way."

"Sooner to be done and sooner for you to go back to Portland?"

J.R. heard the bitterness and wondered what burr got under her saddle. If he didn't know better, he would have thought she was getting used to him being around. "I'm going to ignore your rude comments today," he said.

Julianna stopped in their walk to his truck and looked at him as though she was seeing him again for the first time, only without all the baggage. "I'm sorry."

J.R. wobbled. Junior never apologized. He just stared at her.

"I got some bad news at work."

"What sort of bad news?"

"None of your business." She started heading to the truck again.

J.R. shook his head, trying to figure her out. "Look, Junior, I'm not trying to pry. I know there's some kind of animosity between us and you won't talk about it and I'm sorry for that. But we used to be good friends, and if you want someone to talk to, well, I'm still a good listener." They both opened the truck doors and slid in, like a syncopated dance.

The olive branch flapped in the breeze for a few minutes while Julianna sized up J.R. He started the truck and headed for the road. The branch faltered.

Then, without warning, she started talking. "I didn't get the job at the store."

"The assistant manager job?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know why?"

"Brad said someone else applied before me and had better experience."

"I guess that makes some sense," J.R. offered. It wasn't the right thing to say.

Julianna glared at him. "I was equally qualified. They decided they wanted someone from the outside."

"Is that why they let you go on your vacation early? They felt bad about hiring the other guy?"

"No," she said vehemently, "they wanted me to postpone it and train the guy!" Her voice rose as she spoke, and he remembered her bad temper. He prepared for the onslaught.

"If they wanted you to train him, how did you get off earlier for vacation?"

"I just said that's what I was going to do."

"Weren't you worried they'd fire you?"

"No, they're not that stupid. Brad Taylor knows I'm valuable to their team."

Her acceptance confused J.R. In the past, Junior would have been ranting and raving about how unfair it all was, how stupid they all were, and how she would show them all. In a little corner of his mind he wondered where that fiery Junior had gone.

"You're handling it well."

Julianna turned to look at him. "Thanks. I've been working on my temper, trying to control my outbursts and think through things calmly."

"Well, it's working. Good for you."

The narrowness of her lips gave her away. J.R. knew the calmness was only a façade but at least she wasn't going off on a tangent and thank goodness this wasn't his fault.

He maneuvered the truck into the parking lot at the local home improvement store. At least Cooper Springs was big enough for their own store and they didn't need to go far for supplies; not that this store would have everything they needed. Grabbing a cart while Junior fished the shopping list from her purse, J.R. felt a wave of the domestic scene they created wash over him. If things had been different after graduation, would they be here, toting along a toddler? They had talked about the future briefly when their friendship grew into something more their last year in high school. But all his plans disintegrated when he left for college and vowed never to return, never to allow another woman to have such a hold on his heart.

Junior pointed to the paint department and suggested they start there. With a vague idea of what Mama wanted for the upstairs, J.R. was grateful she agreed to paint all the rooms the same color. An off-white type of beige color was all the direction she gave them.

"I never dreamed there were eleventy-million shades of beige," Julianna said, running her hand over the sample cards lining the wall. "How do we know which one she'll like?"

J.R. smiled. He'd missed Junior's fun sense of exaggeration. "Let's first decide on the undertone color. Like here," he said, pulling out a card from one of the stacks, "this color has a pink tint and this one," he said, pulling another card from another pile, "has a green undertone. What do you think?"

"You're asking me my opinion?"

"Be nice. I'm trying to do as Mama said and get along." The sadness that threatened to overwhelm him when he thought about how well they got along before stirred his heart.

"Oh. Well then, I think I like the one that has a yellow undertone best because it will go with the oak floors. What do you think?"

"Maybe," J.R. conceded. "I'd stay away from the pink undertone and the green. Maybe we should pick out several and let her choose."

"I think we should just pick the color. After all, she won't be living in the house, and she doesn't need to be making any more decisions than necessary."

"Agreed."

"Wow. I didn't think that was possible."

"What? Picking out a paint color?"

"No. Agreeing on something."

Without thinking, J.R. leaned down and whispered in Junior's ear, "There was a time when we agreed on almost everything as I recall."

Julianna pushed him back, a flush on her cheeks and fire in her eyes. "Knock it off."

There was that spit fire he remembered. Glad she wasn't entirely lost, it also didn't go unnoticed that she blushed when he got close. Maybe she didn't hate him after all. He just needed to find out what happened that turned her against him. Settling on a paint color, they finished off the list of supplies and took their haul to the truck. Back on the road, Julianna sat closer to the door than before. J.R. couldn't help but think, two steps forward, one step back. Still, at least she wasn't biting his head off.

With every scrape of the putty knife, Julianna repeated to herself not to get close to J.R. That road led to nothing but heartache. Pushing her hair from her face, she worked the putty knife along the old wallpaper while bits and pieces of the flaky stuff floated through the air. Sometimes big chunks would come off at once and when that happened, she breathed a sigh of relief. It was a lot more work than she expected, and they were far from ready to paint. She eyed the four gallons of paint sitting just inside the door and thought of their trip to the store.

When J.R. had stepped close enough to whisper in her ear, she had held her breath, demanding that the awakened butterflies go back into their cocoons. Julianna refused to be affected by him and yet her heart cried out for release. She couldn't believe she actually blushed when he spoke to her. She also couldn't stop the memories that assaulted her when he mentioned how well they once got along. It was lucky she told him to "knock it off" before she died from embarrassment. Putting more distance between them was the only strategy she could come up with at the moment and under the current circumstances, she wasn't too sure if that was even possible. The noise from J.R. bringing a ladder up the stairs brought her back from her thoughts, and she attacked the wall with gusto.

"Here's the ladder," J.R. said, heaving it into the room and propping it against the wall that was already devoid of wallpaper on the bottom. "I'll start on the top part of the wall if you'll keep working on the part you can reach."

"You know," she said. She just couldn't resist. "I can climb on a ladder."

"I'm sure you can. But bending over to do the stuff down low will break my back."

"So, it's entirely selfish, keeping me off the ladder?"

"Absolutely."

But when Julianna looked up and got caught in his gaze, his eyes sparkled with mischief. Her heart jumped and she couldn't stop a slight smile from working its way to her mouth.

"Careful."

"What?"

"I saw that smile. You better watch it, or you might just enjoy yourself."

"Shut up." The smile was gone. She turned back to the wall. "There's one of those little rolling benches out in the garage that mechanics use that we could bring up here to do the low stuff. It'll save both our backs."

"Okay. Next time I'm in the garage, or if you're in the garage first, let's bring it up here. That'll make it easier to do the painting, too."

They worked in silence for a while; Julianna scraping, J.R. working on the wall behind her. Several hours later, flakes and peeling paper covered the floor and the walls looked smooth enough to paint. J.R. pulled the shop vacuum he brought up from the basement into the room. Before vacuuming, he set to work picking up the old wallpaper. It took more than one black garbage bag to get all the trash loaded. When J.R. opened the window and stuffed the bags out, allowing them to land on the side of the house Julianna started to laugh.

J.R. joined her.

"That's genius," she said, a smile—a genuine smile—reached across her face.

"Thank you, thank you very much." J.R. bowed.

Maybe working with J.R. wouldn't be terrible, she thought. They did have some great times back in the day. She wouldn't lose her heart just because she enjoyed the time she spent with him. Would she?

The drone of the vacuum drowned out Julianna's thoughts as J.R. swept the floor. Grabbing a drink from her water bottle in the hall, she glanced at her phone and noticed they had finished quicker than she expected. A feeling of satisfaction rested on her as she contemplated the next step. Would they paint this room now, and then move on to the others? Or would J.R. want to get all the demolition done first? She surprised herself by not having an opinion and smiled again, imagining the shock on his face when she suggested he decide.

Letting her guard down just a little had its rewards and Julianna couldn't deny the lightness of her spirit having given in. She'd try harder to be a team player for Mama's sake, but there were other benefits, too. The time had come to be honest with herself.

"What's next?" she asked, the bounce in her voice breezing through the room.

"Let's take a break," J.R. suggested.

"Great idea. I think Mama actually baked cookies this morning," she said, heading to the top of the stairs.

J.R. followed right behind her, so close she could feel his warmth radiating onto her back. Turning half-way down the stairs to tell him to back up a little, she wasn't prepared for him to plow right into her. Hanging onto the railing, J.R. pulled her against his chest to keep her from falling and held on tight. Time stopped while they stood there in the middle of the stairway, wrapped up together. He felt good. The way his arms encased her shoulders was like coming home; a home Julianna had only dreamed about since high school. She couldn't help herself from reaching around his waist and looking up into his eyes. They turned dark and intense, and she started to lift her chin as his mouth came ever closer until they were within a breath of touching.

Crash!

Julianna and J.R. both jumped apart and looked at the bottom of the stairs where the remnants of a vase full of flowers puddled among chards of glass on the floor. Mama stood with her hands out in front of her, frozen in place as her eyebrows buried themselves in her bangs. Time stood still. Julianna was sure she was at least as red-faced as J.R. No one said anything, until at length, Mama coughed and backed up a step.

"Nice to see you're getting along better," she said as she turned and walked away, presumably to get something to clean up the mess.

CHAPTER SIX

J. R. could not believe he had almost kissed Junior. Taking her hand, he pulled her down the steps, letting go when he jumped over the flowery puddle. Reaching back for Junior, he laughed in spite of the situation and her steely glare. She jumped past him and headed for the kitchen without looking back.

Catching up before she made it far, he pulled her tense shoulders back toward his chest and whispered, "Don't pretend you weren't as committed to that outcome as I was. If Mama hadn't interrupted..."

"If Mama hadn't interrupted, I would have made a big mistake!" she whispered back.

"I don't think kissing you—"

"Just stop talking, okay? We'll just let it go." J.R. heard her quietly mutter, "Just when things were going so well..."

"Fine," he said.

"Good."

"For now," he added.

"Whatever."

They passed Mama, headed out of the kitchen with a broom, dustpan, and a couple towels draped over her arm.

"Mama," he said, "do you need some help?"

"No, you two go on. I'll take care of it." He could have sworn she was chuckling.

Julianna opened the top of the round porcelain cookie jar decorated like a merry-go-round. Mama had used the same cookie jar for as long as J.R. could remember; yet another memory that reminded him he'd been gone too long. He blinked when he realized Junior was offering him two chocolate chip cookies, his favorite. He sensed a little subterfuge on Mama's part.

Sitting at the table, they each kept to their own thoughts. J.R. sneaked glances at Junior's face to see if he could decode her expression. The conflict he saw gave him hope. But hope for what? Sure, he didn't deny he was attracted to her. He always had been. And she had grown into a beautiful woman. Her long wavy brown hair and deep brown eyes had always held him captive. She was a bit curvier than when she was in high school, and it looked good on her. The Hobsons had practically starved her when she was a teenager. Mama had made sure there were plenty of cookies in the cookie jar back then, and J.R. knew she really baked them for Junior. If he stayed in such close proximity to her, would he try to kiss her again? What if Mama wasn't there to interrupt them? Did he want to be interrupted?

Swallowing the cookies down with a glass of milk, J.R. wiped his face and said, "Let's go out to the garage and see if we can find that rolling bench."

"Sure," she said quietly.

Holding the back door for Junior to pass through, J.R. felt the vibe of confusion. He decided against mentioning anything about what happened on the stairs again.

When they reached the detached garage, J.R. held his breath. Images of them secretly meeting in the dusty garage senior year wouldn't go away. It didn't feel much like moving on. Leaving Junior outside and slipping in through the side door, he flipped the light switch on and pushed the button for the garage door opener. It would be hard to see anything without the big door open. But although the opener struggled to work, it finally gave up, leaving the door stuck tight and the light attached to the opener flashing. J.R. pawed through the dirty piles of boxes, tools, and yard equipment until he could pull the cord to disconnect the garage door opener.

Shouting through the door, he called to Junior, "Can you lift the door?"

"I'll try," came the muffled reply.

A minute later, the door slowly creaked open, and J.R. reached down to help Junior lift it. Rusty rails and years of neglect resisted the movement, but in the end they prevailed. Unfortunately—or fortunately—J.R. was standing in the center of the opening, and he had equal leverage on the door, just like Junior had from the outside. With the door raised, they stood, holding the bottom of the door at the top of their reach and standing only inches apart. J.R. lifted the door a little higher—the benefit of being taller—and Junior released the door and stepped back. He couldn't tell if she was disappointed that he raised the door out of her reach or not. Shaking his head to send his thoughts back to the corners of his mind, he gave one last heave to the door and it slid the rest of the way up.

"Let's see what we've got here."

"What a mess," Julianna said. "I haven't been out here in ages."

"I think it's just like I left it," J.R. said slowly as he scanned the heaps of everything imaginable. Dark, dusty covers hid some of the "treasures" from view, and J.R. made a mental note that they should go through this space, too, before selling. Otherwise, it would be necessary to do it after it sold and then they really would be on a deadline. Not that they didn't have a deadline now, he reminded himself. The image of his business and apartment in Portland came into focus.

Julianna brushed her hand along a dirty box. "Eeww," she said.

J.R. laughed. "I don't remember you being afraid of a little dirt."

"This isn't a little. It's a lot."

"Come on," he said, "let's find that bench."

Slowly they made their way through the junk in the little garage. Bit by bit, they pushed things aside and uncovered yard equipment and tools. In the back of the room, J.R. uncovered the two 4-wheelers he and his dad used to run around town with. "Wow, I forgot all about these."

"I remember…" Julianna’s voice faded as she ran her hand along the seat, pushing down into the softness.

"We used to take these down the trails behind Mr. Johnson's place."

"Oh, yeah. Remember when I tipped mine over and it almost landed on me? You weren't even sorry it happened. You said it was great because now I would have an awesome 'wheeler story.' What a crock! I had bruises for days from that crash."

"It was awesome. I was proud of you for getting back on it and riding it home."

His comment was met with silence, and J.R. waited while he worked his way around the wheelers.

When Julianna spoke, he almost didn't hear her; her voice barely a whisper. "I guess it was pretty great, after all."

Julianna couldn't help but get caught up in the memories. Every time she looked at J.R., she thought about the best times of her life, all with him. She knew everything about him. At least, she thought she did until the end of senior year. Looking back, she wondered whether she should have asked more questions instead of jumping to conclusions. But in the end, it had to be over anyway. She would never bring it up to J.R. Focusing on the earlier years was better for everyone all the way around. Denying he could still make her heart race was silly but acting on the impulse she felt on the stairs would be sillier.

"I wonder if they still run," she said, surreptitiously keeping the two wheelers between them, although she was pretty sure J.R. noticed.

"I'll have to check. I think I drained the gas when I knew I was leaving. It shouldn't be much to get them going."

"It might be kind of fun to take them out again," she suggested and then mentally slapped herself. The last thing she needed was to be alone with him. Yet, in true J.R. form, he latched onto her suggestion and flew with it.

"Let's run into town and pick up a battery, some spark plugs, and some oil and gas. I think that'll do it."

The rolling bench forgotten, he started moving the old lawn mower and the storage bins so there was a clear path to the front of the garage. Absentmindedly, Julianna started helping, tugging on the boxes and setting them on top of each other. The dust made her cough and stung her eyes. "Let's go to the store first and work on this later. I can't breathe in here." For more reasons than one, she thought.

J.R. ran into the house to let Mama know they were going to the store. Julianna heard Mama remind him to be home in time for dinner.

It was as though the years had suddenly melted away and she found herself fourteen years old again, waiting for J.R. to come back so they could be off on their next adventure. Not that they were too adventurous at that age, but it was then she started fantasizing about what it would be like to be more than just his best friend. Awkward and gangly, her new-found feelings remained dormant in her heart until senior year when other boys began noticing her.

At that point J.R. had taken her on a long wheeler ride in the middle of the woods behind Mr. Johnson's place and told her he loved her. She would never forget that moment. The air had held its breath, and she felt like they were the last two people on earth. He'd kissed her then, for the first time; a tender and delicate kiss that filled her heart with happiness. After that, her life was better than ever. On the outside, no one could tell that they were anything more than the best friends they had always been. But when they were alone, his sweet kisses rocked her world.

"Ready?" J.R. said, running for the truck, out of breath.

Jostled from her reverie and trying not to let her hot cheeks get noticed, she made a dash for the passenger door and slipped in. With the sun low in the sky, they headed for the only auto parts store in town.

There was an energy coming from J.R. that Julianna hadn't felt since his return. Finding the wheelers must have stirred something inside him, and it was rubbing off on her. She realized halfway to the store that she hadn't thought about losing the promotion at the store for hours. Normally it would have kept her up at night and grouchy all day. But working with J.R. and now off on this errand to bring the ATVs back to life took center stage, and she was glad.

"Do you think they'll have everything we'll need?" Did he notice her joining him in her question?

"Hope so. We'll need to find the compressor and inflate the tires. They're dead flat. Not that it's surprising after all these years. Won't it be great to take them out again?"

J.R.'s excitement was contagious, and Julianna laughed at his enthusiasm. She matched his grin, and he glanced over at her. He winked.

He winked? What was that about? A week ago, she was in the way and today he's winking at her? Not to mention that almost kiss on the stairs. A slow panic started to worm its way through Julianna's body. What was she thinking? They weren't fourteen anymore. They were grown people with their own lives and...and...and she was mad at him. Right? Her palms started to sweat. Her breathing fluttered. What if she fell for him again? What if he took advantage of that...again? No, that couldn't happen. She wouldn't let it. She was a different person than that poor high school foster kid. No one would ever take advantage of her again. Her heart calmed, and her breathing returned to a regular rhythm. She said a silent prayer for guidance and help and a warm feeling of peace wrapped around her. He could wink all he wanted. She would be strong.

Getting the parts proved too easy. Once they were back home, J.R. pulled the first wheeler out of the garage while she waited outside. The dust and dirt were too much for her sinuses. Plugging the compressor in and filling the tires inflated her sagging spirit, too. She could get excited about this. They could have fun together. There wasn't anything wrong with that.

The scratched red paint of the wheeler spoke of endless trips through the woods, especially during the summer when the blackberry vines were at their most "captivating." Many nights she had nursed inflamed scratches from getting caught by the blackberry bushes, usually when she was trying to fill a bucket of that succulent fruit.

"Hand me the oil, this is all drained out," J.R. interrupted her thoughts again, and she chastised herself for getting distracted.

Retrieving the oil, along with the oil spout, she handed it to him and waited for his next request. Even though he was doing all the work, she felt like she was a part of it. She couldn't help but smile.

"Okay," he said with a grin, "let's see if it works."

J.R. sat on the seat and pushed the gear into neutral. Pushing the start button with his left hand, he pumped the throttle with his right thumb. Julianna willed the engine to start. Her heart matched the whine of the engine trying to catch, over and over until J.R. let off the gas. Trying again, he pushed the start button and pumped the throttle.

"Did you put gas in it?" Julianna asked, even though she knew it was a stupid question.

"Oh my gosh!" J.R. started laughing. "Forgot the gas." He got off the machine and grabbed the gas can, swiftly opening the cap to the gas tank.

Julianna laughed with him.

He was still chuckling when he set the gas can on the floor and climbed back on the wheeler. "Pretty dumb, huh?"

"It could happen to anyone."

"I guess I was distracted."

His eyes bore into Julianna's, and her breath hitched. Did she affect him the way he affected her? She jumped when the wheeler exploded to life, and J.R. revved the engine to keep it running. Just like he revved her engine.

CHAPTER SEVEN

A fter a quiet dinner with Mama, they bundled up in heavier coats than usual and told her they were taking the wheeler out.

The rumble of the wheeler's engine vibrated through J.R.'s body and he felt more alive than he could remember. The second wheeler never did start which meant they had to ride together. It wasn't the way J.R. had first imagined it when Junior suggested they go for a ride, but Junior wouldn't hear him complaining.

Their shared seat forced Junior to hug onto him, heating him up inside. He tore down the road. The faster he drove, the tighter she clung onto him, and he liked it. Whizzing past the elementary school and down Mr. Johnson's lane, he slowed in front of the run-down cabin. Looking at the town with real estate eyes, he noticed there were a lot of homes that needed fixing up. In fact, it wouldn't be such a bad little town with the houses dressed up a bit. Maybe he could see if Mr. Johnson was interested in doing what Mama had taken on.

Knocking on the door, Henry Johnson, answered, "What do you want?" His gruff manner put the fear of God in most kids, but J.R. knew better.

"Hey, Mr. Johnson," he said. "Remember me? I'm Sharon Bentley's son, J.R."

Henry's stern expression softened. "'Bout time you came home."

J.R. swallowed his guilt once more. "Yes, sir. Uh, I...I mean, we were wondering if we could drive around your property like we used to?"

"We?" he asked, looking over J.R.'s shoulder.

"Yes, me and Junior...I mean Julianna." Saying her name made J.R. uneasy. He had never called her by her given name when they were kids. When he said it now, he couldn't help but think about her all grown up and less like the children they used to be. It was as though by calling her Junior, it kept them in safer territory.

Henry's eyes narrowed. "I suppose so," he said reluctantly. Turning to go back inside, his crusty voice called out. "Behave yourselves!"

J.R. jumped at the command and automatically answered, "Yes, sir." Scurrying down the steps of the broken-down porch, he made a mental note to talk to Henry later about fixing up his house.

"We're good," he said as he climbed back on the wheeler, careful not to clip Junior in the face.

Taking the main path into the forest, J.R. noticed how the thick trees darkened the daylight. They had an hour and a half left before the sun went down, but the trees made it seem almost like nighttime. The dim lights on the front of the wheeler illuminated the overgrown road as J.R. barreled up the hill to the first viewpoint. Pulling out of the trees briefly, they hopped off the machine to admire the glorious territorial view over Cooper Springs' valley.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yeah," J.R. agreed. The wistfulness in her voice tapped on his heart. He didn't want to think of this place as beautiful and appealing. His home was in Portland now and as long as she was here and they weren't together, he couldn't be here, too. But she had softened toward him in the last day or two. Maybe there was a chance. How many times in the last few years had he wanted to call to find out what went wrong but lost his nerve? How often had he thought about asking Mama what was going on in Junior's life and then didn't bring it up when they were on the phone? What could he say that would get her to tell him what happened?

J.R. moved closer behind Julianna, wanting desperately to touch her. He felt her shiver and caught a little tingle himself sliding down his spine. Did she feel it, too? Maybe if he tried winning her over again, she'd come clean about senior year. Then they could either rekindle whatever they had begun or find closure. The thought of closure landed like a damp rag on his heart, but the idea of rekindling something scared him to death. When Julianna leaned back close enough to touch him, his arms instinctively wrapped around her. He heard her sigh, and a light went on inside his chest. She felt perfect in his arms.

Not wanting to disturb the moment but knowing they didn't want to get caught in the woods after dark, J.R. took her hand and led her back to the wheeler. "Let's go."

"Sure," she said.

Conversation was impossible while they were riding. The noise from the ATV's engine roared as they raced down the roads that crisscrossed Mr. Johnson's forest. The rain from earlier in the week left the paths muddy but passable. With darkness creeping in, J.R. finally headed back out and toward Mr. Johnson's house. Hesitating to stop again, he just beeped the little horn on the machine as a "thank you" and kept on going. Junior held on tighter, and J.R. wanted to stop and find out what was going through that pretty head of hers. But he was afraid if he said something, she would retreat again, and they would have lost all the ground they'd gained in the last little while. Best to just let his actions speak for him.

Parking the wheeler in front of the garage door, he waited for Junior to get off first. She helped him open the garage door again, but this time, they were both on the outside and standing on opposite ends of the door. He wasn't sure just how, but he knew he needed to find a way to get her alone again and try out that kiss.

"We never found the rolling bench," Julianna said as J.R. pushed the wheeler into the area they cleared.

"It's okay. We'll find it tomorrow."

"Why don't we look now? We know it can't be where we've already moved stuff."

"Okay." When opportunity knocks...

Julianna flipped on the overhead light which was nothing more than a single bare bulb hanging in the middle of the ceiling. J.R. pulled more filthy sheets off hidden outdoor equipment, working his way to the back of the room. Julianna started from the opposite side and did the same thing, heading his direction at the back. Once she made it to the far back corner, she exclaimed victory. "I found it!"

"Great." J.R. turned her way, squeezing past the riding lawn mower. "Hang on, I'll help pull it out."

"I can do it."

J.R. stood beside her now. "I know you can but let me help anyway."

As Julianna turned to respond, she looked up, her deep brown eyes darkened with emotion. J.R. wasn't sure this was the moment, but he couldn't wait for candles and romantic music. He leaned closer. Her eyes widened. He brushed the back of his fingers across her soft cheek and then along her neck until they rested at the back of her head. Pulling her ever-so-slightly toward him, she parted her lips as an invitation, and he covered them with his own. As tender as any kiss he could remember, he gently took her mouth on a pulsating journey, letting her shy response strike deep within his soul.

She knew it was coming. She thought she had prepared appropriately. Never intending to go along with the kiss, somehow the idea to push J.R. away didn't get all the way from her brain to her hands as he gradually pulled her into his exploration of her mouth. Recollections of thrilling kisses from a lifetime ago resurfaced, and she didn't even want to stop to consider the consequences of how this changed things.

Time stood still. She'd been alone a long time. So long, with Mama as her only friend and advocate, she faced the prejudices of this community and worked hard to earn their respect. Nothing had taken the place of the feelings she had for J.R. She reached her hands behind his back and pulled him closer, opening herself to a deeper kiss. Her heart thumped like a bass drum, beating in time with his.

Too soon time started up again, and J.R.'s touch turned into only a brush of his lips against hers and then...she breathed again. Afraid to look back into his fathomless eyes, she held on and rested her head against his chest. The steady racing of his heart brought a sigh from her lips. She closed her eyes to block out everything but the pure contentment radiating through her body.

"I probably shouldn't have done that," J.R. said tentatively.

"Don't spoil it, J.R."

"Oh, okay."

"It may not be the smartest thing I've done in a while, but it was certainly up there with the most wonderful."

"Junior."

He was talking again, and Julianna just wanted to absorb the moment and keep it going for as long as possible.

"Junior, we can't just not say something."

"Why not?"

"I need to know what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking you're a great kisser."

J.R. chuckled, and Julianna loved feeling his chest rumble. "Thanks, I guess. You're not so bad yourself."

"Let's just leave it at that."

"I can't, Junior," his words turning serious. "I need to know what's going on."

"I don't know what's going on, to be honest. I don't want to feel anything for you, but you feel good." Her arms tightened around his waist.

"I've missed you," he said.

And that was the best thing he could say to her. She wouldn't believe the "L" word, and she didn't want to hear any insincere promises. "I've missed you, too."

"Can we talk about what just happened?" J.R. sounded hopeful.

"Can we let what just happened be and enjoy the moment?" she countered.

"We're going to talk about it sometime, Junior."

"Well, today is not that day," she said to his shirt. "I mean, tonight is not that night."

Another chuckle and J.R. let go. Julianna immediately missed the warmth of his arms as she stepped back, daring a glance at his face. The simmering sizzle in his eyes belied the delicacy of his kiss. He quickly kissed her forehead and reached around her to lift the little bench out of its resting place.

"Come on," he said, draping his other hand around her shoulder. "Let's see what more we can get done tonight."

"Tonight?" she asked. Hadn't they already worked all day?

"Yes. Tonight. I'm not ready to say goodnight, and if we work together, we can get something done, and I can be with you at the same time."

Hours later, Julianna was exhausted. Emotionally, the atmosphere where they'd been working was as charged up as a beehive in the summer. But her eyes were starting to close on their own, and she couldn't hold her paint brush up to the wall, let alone keep her head from drooping. Yawn after yawn serenaded the room as J.R. rolled the walls and she tried to keep up by cutting in along the trim and baseboards. Eventually, she stopped and straightened her back, bending over backwards to get the kinks out.

"I have to stop, J.R. I'm not used to putting in eighteen-hour days."

J.R. looked at Julianna and remorse filled his eyes. "Oh, Junior, I'm sorry. I was lost in my thoughts. I didn't realize how late it is."

"Can we finish this tomorrow?"

"Sure."

They sealed the paint can and wrapped the brush and roller in plastic wrap. Julianna took a few deep breaths, trying to stay awake long enough to head for her trailer. Walking downstairs, she noticed Mama's light was out indicating she had gone to bed. Well, Mama got her wish. They were getting along just fine now. She only wondered what was worse, them getting along with no future or at each other's throats.

This romance really had nowhere to go. It's not like she could erase the past and forget it ever happened. The more J.R. pretended he didn't know what the problem was, the more she felt her blood simmering again. Maybe they did need to talk about it. She promised herself to make it the subject of her prayers tonight and see where Heavenly Father wanted her to go with it.

As Julianna made her way through the kitchen, J.R. pulled his jacket off the chair. "Where do you think you're going?" she asked.

"I'm going to walk you home."

"J.R.," she said, her tiredness turning a little cranky. "I'm only across the backyard."

"I know exactly where you live, Junior. And I'm going to walk you home."

"Uh huh." Too woozy from fatigue to argue, she opened the back door, raising her face to the crisp night air.

J.R. took her hand as they walked across the dewy grass, letting the light emitting from the kitchen window guide their steps.

At the door of the trailer, Julianna reached inside and flipped on the tiny outside light.

J.R. reached back in and turned it off. "Mama might be watching," he explained.

"Watching what?"

"This." Bending his head low and capturing her mouth with his, this kiss wasn't the tender, delicate kiss of earlier.

Feeling a passion rise all the way from her curled toes, Julianna lost herself in the demands of his mouth. His lips seared her cheek, her neck, her jaw and reclaimed her mouth as she struggled to think. This was not the kiss she remembered from high school. This kiss had grown up.

Pushing him away, Julianna fought to catch her breath. "I'm not ready for that, J.R."

"I'm sorry, Junior. Not sorry for kissing you," he hastily added. "I'm sorry you're not ready."

"I'll see you in the morning."

"Uh, I forgot to ask Mama. What time does she go to church?"

"Church starts at 10:00. Mama likes to be early. Best be ready by 9:00."

Julianna stared at J.R.'s back as he walked briskly back the way they'd come, turning on the porch light as he entered. She stood there for several minutes shaking her head at the events of the day. Before she turned around, she thought she saw the curtains in Mama's room flutter. The old children's poem ran though her mind, "Don't make love by the garden gate; Love is blind but the neighbors ain't." With a sly smile, she closed her door and turned on the outside light.

CHAPTER EIGHT

S hortly before 9:00, J.R. made his way down from the upstairs bathroom toward the kitchen. With the rest of the upstairs cleared of furniture and in the process of being stripped and repainted, the bathroom was the only room still serviceable. Sleeping on the sofa in the living room until at least one of the bedrooms was done didn't allow for the best night's sleep, but under the circumstances, J.R. wasn't sure he would have slept anyway. Those circumstances being, of course, kissing Junior.

Whistling a little tune as he reached for the refrigerator, he heard the back door open. Junior walked in and J.R. sucked in a breath. She was wearing a black, knee-length pencil skirt and a vivid sapphire blue sweater with tall black leather boots. She casually dropped the jacket she was carrying on the back of the kitchen chair and turned right into his path. Resting her hands on her hips, her lips lifted into a smile and J.R.'s toes heated up.

"Good morning," she said, her voice resonating through his chest.

Her hair had been curled and she wore it loose, falling softly past her shoulders. Having only seen her without make-up and with her hair pulled into the eternal ponytail since he had arrived, J.R. wasn't sure she was the same woman. Beautiful. Not that she wasn't beautiful before. But now she was polished and glamorous. The heels on her boots gave her an extra three inches and what they did for her posture, wow.

"G...g...good morning," he said. "You look nice."

"Well, thank you, kind sir," she retorted with a gleam in her eye. "You clean up pretty good yourself."

"I mean, you're beautiful, Junior."

Julianna laughed uncomfortably. "You'd better stop, or it'll go straight to my head," she teased.

He didn't like the way she dismissed his compliment, but he let it pass. Pouring a glass of orange juice, he offered it to her. She smiled her thanks and sat down at the table. J.R. poured himself a glass and sat down with her. She wouldn't meet his eyes, and he wondered if she was going to be shy about their kisses. If that was the way to get her to talk to him about the past, well, sign him up.

Mama entered the kitchen, pulling on her wool coat as she walked. J.R. noticed her step was lighter today, and she moved more confidently.

"You guys ready?" she asked.

"Sure, Mama," J.R. answered immediately.

Julianna got up, downed the last of her orange juice and took her glass to the sink. She still wouldn't look at him, but she smiled at Mama and said, "Let's go."

Keeping a lid on his surprise as Junior accompanied them outside, he wished he could say something that didn't sound awful and judgmental. But why was Junior coming with them? All through high school Junior made no bones about being against any organized religion. He felt certain she only said she believed in God to get people to leave her alone. They had discussed everything in the world except Jesus Christ. Junior never would listen, her obstinacy strong and determined.

J.R. opened the passenger door to the truck. Too late he realized how difficult it would be for Junior to get in wearing that narrow skirt. She looked at Mama and then, finally looked directly at J.R., a question furrowing her brow.

"We could take my car," she offered without much enthusiasm.

Before she could object, J.R. lifted her at her waist and set her on the seat. "Scoot over and make some room for Mama."

Julianna's gasp when he grabbed her blew from her mouth instead of any words. Mama giggled. She actually giggled, and J.R. fought hard to keep from laughing.

"You need a running board for this monster, J.R.," Mama said.

"I planned to, Mama, but I only bought it a short while ago, and I haven't had time. Here, let me help you, too."

Checking to make sure Junior had moved, he lifted Mama the same way. When he was certain she was situated safely, he closed the door and went around to the driver's side.

Sitting next to Junior on the way to church was just another added bonus to the day as far as J.R. was concerned. Breathing in her heavenly scent and brushing against her shoulders sent his pulse racing again. He couldn't tell if she was as affected as he was but hoped so. For the first time, the twenty-minute drive to church didn't seem tedious, giving him more time to rub shoulders with Junior.

Mama chatted the whole way there, talking about how well the project was coming along and updating J.R. about the people at church and what they were up to. Could he help it if he only half-listened? Junior's sweet and spicy perfume made him want to snuggle his nose in her neck. Well, he wanted to do that anyway, but the fragrance coming his way soothed and captivated him.

Walking into the white country church J.R. hadn't seen for ten years brought all kinds of mixed feelings. He hadn't always been the best representative of Jesus Christ when he was in high school and although he straightened himself out while in college, his lapse in his young life still gave him a little heartache. Grateful for the gift of repentance, J.R. looked forward to the worship service.

"When did you start coming to church?" he whispered close to Junior's ear, taking another whiff of her heady perfume.

"Not too long after you left town."

"I thought you were against organized religion."

"When Earl kicked me out, and I had nowhere to go, Mama offered to let me live in the trailer with the stipulation that I drive her to church. Sitting in the car while I waited seemed kind of silly. So, I went with her. I went through some...tough times, and I started listening more to what everyone was saying. Before I knew it, I was baptized."

"Earl kicked you out? Why?"

"Pretty simple. I turned eighteen. He couldn't collect the foster care money any longer."

"He just said, 'here's your hat, what's your hurry?'"

"Close." A cloud covered Junior's eyes, and J.R. got the impression there was more to the story, but obviously, now wasn't the time or place.

Julianna followed Mama into the chapel when J.R. felt a tug on his suit jacket and was overpowered by a floral scent that threatened to knock him to the ground. "Well, I'll be danged if it isn't James Robert Bentley, the prodigal son, returned at last."

J.R. saw Junior's shoulders stiffen in front of him but couldn't very well ignore the pull or the comment. Turning, he cast his eyes on Junior's best girlfriend in high school, Stacy Smith.

The shock of seeing Stacy again assaulted J.R. and it took all his strength to return her smile. "Hello, Stacy. How are you?"

"Well, I'm just better and better every day, J.R. I heard you were back in town. How come I haven't seen you around?"

"I've only been home a few days, and I'm working on a project with Mama and Junior."

J.R. couldn't miss the evil eye Stacy threw Junior's way.

"Well," she said, turning her attention back to J.R., "I'm thrilled you're home. It's perfect timing."

"Perfect timing for what?" he asked hesitantly.

"Why perfect timing for me, silly. I'm recently a single woman, and I would just love to get together with you and catch up on old times."

Her wink and slinky delivery made J.R. cringe. Junior was right. She really was scouting for hubby number four. A shudder ran through him. He always thought Stacy had ulterior motives for befriending Junior but as long as Junior was happy, he hadn't said anything back then. It was only when she practically attacked him the day after prom that he worried she would hurt Junior. He had never seen a girl get so mad and red in the face as she did when he shut her down. She came on fast and strong, and he hadn't responded with any kindness. He felt bad about the whole situation. But he didn't want to hurt Junior, so he never mentioned it. Then, when Junior sent him packing, what was the point?

"Well, I'm pretty busy with Mama's project. I don't know if I'll have time." As adults they could work past all that stupid stuff that happened in high school, right?

Stacy's finger provocatively crawled up J.R.'s sleeve as she said, "I'm sure your Mama will give you time off for good behavior. How 'bout lunch tomorrow?"

Wow, she moved fast, thought J.R. Every red flag he owned was flying in his face. He couldn't get away fast enough. But he was in church. He couldn't be mean. "Oh, I'm afraid not. Some other time." Now why did he leave that door open?

"Of course. I'll just give you a call, and we'll make a date."

Before J.R. could reply to that, Stacy moved away, hips swaying like a tropical breeze.

J.R. found Mama and Junior sitting close to the front of the chapel. He slid in next to Mama, disappointed not to sit by Junior. He wanted to put his arm across her shoulders to let everyone know they were an item again, but climbing over Mama seemed crazy. It didn't matter what people thought, and he wasn't sure they actually were an item...yet.

The worship service and subsequent Sunday school class gave J.R. a sense of peace. He never tired of the gospel messages these days. Hurrying to catch up with Mama and Junior as they exited the church building, he noticed instantly the cold shoulder from Junior.

"Have a nice visit with Stacy?" The cutting edge of her tongue sliced expertly.

She was jealous? J.R. didn't answer right away, thinking about the repercussions of him meeting up with Stacy. Seeing Junior's reaction gave him ideas, but he wasn't in the mood for games today and after a great lesson on showing kindness to others, he couldn't tease her.

"She's definitely after a new husband," he said, "and it won't be me."

Julianna's expression softened a little, but it contradicted her march to the truck. They really needed to talk. Various scenarios flew through his mind and he discarded them all like old newspapers, until he decided to ask her to go for a walk. Simple. Easy. And he hoped she would open-up to him.

Once back at home, Mama bustled around the kitchen. "Sunday's my day for cooking."

Julianna rolled her eyes. "Every day is your day for cooking. It's a wonder I ever learned to cook."

"You cook?" J.R. couldn't hide his surprise.

"Mama's been teaching me."

"Mama, you've got to let Junior cook. I've never eaten anything she's prepared before."

Sharon stood up from digging in the corner cupboard and looked between J.R. and Julianna. As though a light had turned on, she smiled and put her hands on her hips. "Fine," she said. "You two can prepare dinner while I take a nap."

"A nap?" Julianna snapped. "Since when do you take naps?"

"Since today."

Following Mama's exit, J.R. turned to Junior. "What shall we make?"

"I have no idea. Do you know what she originally had planned?"

"No. Did she thaw any meat?"

She peeked in the refrigerator. "Not that I can tell."

"So...what do you want to fix?"

"I'm pretty good at biscuits. How about your Aunt Edna's famous chicken noodle soup to go with them?"

"Sounds great. Tell me what to do."

Julianna smiled at his comment. He hoped there would be more smiling and since Mama was napping, he would find a way to sneak in a couple of kisses while the soup was cooking.

Junior dumped an onion, a stalk of celery and three carrots in front of him. "Chop-chop."

"What?"

"Chop. Chop." She rolled her eyes again. "Oh, J.R., are you really that dense? Please chop the veggies. I'll get the broth ready."

"Oh." How could he explain that just thinking about kissing her was distracting enough that he hardly remembered where he was, let alone what she would mean by her strange sense of humor. He laughed and grabbed her from behind. Tickling her neck with his mouth, he said, "I get it. Your lips had me sidetracked."

"My lips are on the front of my face, not the side of my neck."

Whipping her around in his arms, he worked on his best smolder. "So they are."

Backing her up against the counter, he felt her arms slide around his neck as she pulled him closer. "Do you like being sidetracked?" she asked.

"It's my favorite."

Before he could show her just how diverting his kisses could be, the phone rang. J.R. hurried to answer it so it wouldn't wake up Mama.

"Hello?" he said into the phone.

"J.R. honey! It's me, Stacy. I said I'd call, and I'm calling."

"Oh, hi Stacy." J.R. watched as Junior's head went back, and she sighed at the ceiling before closing her eyes.

"When can we get together, J.R.? I'm leaving every evening open just for you."

"Evenings are impossible. How about lunch?" J.R. figured one meeting, and he would simply tell Stacy he wasn't available and that would be the end of it.

"Well," Stacy replied coyly, "we could start with lunch and then see where things go from there."

Nowhere, that's where, J.R. said silently to himself. "Tomorrow?" he asked and then winced when he remembered he told her he wasn't available.

"Absolutely!" She practically purred.

"I'll meet you at Connie's Diner at noon."

"I'll be there with bells on, honey. Bye."

J.R. hung up the phone. "No doubt," he muttered.

When he turned around, the kitchen was deserted, the soup was only half finished, and the biscuits were nowhere to be seen. Wrong move, Jimmy boy, he said to himself as he pulled down Mama's cookbook to look up the recipe for Aunt Edna's chicken noodle soup.

CHAPTER NINE

J. R. was scooping up the chopped onions, celery, and carrots and dropping them into the pot of boiling water when Julianna came up from the basement.

"I thought you left," he admitted, showing his surprise.

"Why would I leave Mama's dinner unfinished?"

"I thought you were mad."

"Did you do something I should be mad about?" She narrowed her eyes and thinned her lips, forcing herself to control her anger.

"Not really. I just realized it might have sounded bad."

"Bad? Making a date with Stacy?" Julianna ripped opened the bag of noodles she had brought up from the basement, spilling half the package. She dumped them all into the soup pot.

"It's not really a date."

"Wanna bet? Stacy will have it plastered all over Facebook, Twitter, and after your lunch tomorrow, Instagram, too. I warned you about her, but did you listen? No, sir."

"I listened. I'm going to see her just to tell her I'm not available."

"She won't believe you. Here," she said as she shoved a can of chicken toward him, "open this and put it in the pot."

"She'll have to," he said as he reached for the can and opened the drawer to find the can opener.

"I'm telling you, that woman is like a badger. Once she gets her claws into you, she won't let go." How could she get through to him Stacy's vulture tendencies? Every time she thought about Stacy, her heart burned.

Once, she and Stacy had been good friends, but when she discovered Stacy only hung out with her to be near J.R., she was crushed. After J.R. left town, Stacy showed her true colors, letting Julianna's calls go unreturned, messages unanswered, and pretending not to be home when she showed up at her house.

The lies and pretense only compounded her agitation and exclusion. In a town where everyone knew your business, how sad was it when everyone also knew you had no one and they didn't even care?

Julianna stirred the soup as J.R. added the remaining ingredients. When he reached behind her and nuzzled her neck as she continued to stir the soup, she dropped the spoon and slid out of reach.

"Uh...uh. You're not allowed to take liberties until Stacy is long gone."

"You're kidding."

"Not kidding. You're moving too fast for me anyway. A week ago, I couldn't stand you. A couple kisses doesn't erase...uh, erase...years of you being gone." Her thoughts jumbled through her mind, trying to reconcile the past with the feelings he resurrected when he kissed her. Nothing he did would change what was done. But she couldn't deny the memory of loving him.

"She'll be gone tomorrow."

"Yeah, good luck with that."

"Who'll be gone tomorrow?" Mama asked as she quietly entered the kitchen. Julianna rolled her eyes and wondered just how much of their conversation she heard. From the glint in her eyes, she probably heard an earful.

"Stacy Smith."

"Where's she going?"

Julianna laughed. "To hell."

"Julianna!"

"Sorry, Mama." Julianna turned back to the stove and gave the soup another stir. "Oh, shoot, I haven't done the biscuits yet."

J.R. started pulling out the flour and shortening. "I'm having lunch with her tomorrow to let her down easy, Mama. She gave me the impression she would like something to happen between us and it just won't."

"If it did, you'd be out on your ear," Sharon muttered.

"What was that?" J.R. asked as Julianna chuckled.

"Nothing. I'll set the table."

Julianna smiled. She loved this woman.

Dinner conversation centered back on the house project, and Julianna and J.R. made plans for the upcoming week. Refinishing the floors would take renting a sander and picking up the supplies for the varnish. They figured it could be done in about three days, leaving a couple of days for drying and curing. They should be able to put the upstairs back together by the following weekend.

"You realize the hard part will be when the kitchen gets redone, right?" J.R. asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the kitchen will be out of commission for about a week. And that's if everything goes according to plan."

"It's okay," said Julianna. "We'll cook in the trailer. We can set up a table in the living room and eat in there. It won't be great, but it should work."

J.R. rubbed his hand across his jaw, and Julianna wanted to smack him for deliberately making it look like he had to think her idea over.

"Is that okay with you, Mama?"

"That's just fine with me. Jake said the new cabinets will be done in only a few days after I tell him the stain color. Once we demo the old ones, we'll have the new ones delivered."

"Did you pick out the carpet you want yet?" Julianna asked.

"Yes, it's even in stock, but the soonest anyone could install it is three weeks."

J.R. didn't look happy about that. "Maybe we could just refinish all the floors?" he asked.

"I guess so," Sharon reluctantly agreed.

"It'll go faster in the long run," he said. "Hardwood floors are very popular right now. People like the look of wood and it fits well with the style and age of the house."

Julianna wondered what he had going on in Portland that pulled him back there like a magnet. The thought that he had a girlfriend waiting for him there plunged her heart into an abyss. Was he just playing her because she was close by? Would he really tell Stacy to get lost? Not that it would do any good.

She recognized the jealousy she felt but told it to take a hike. There couldn't be anything lasting between them, not unless she told him everything. And that wasn't about to happen. No, that hurt cut too deep. The pain had been too intense for her to ever lose her heart again. She just got swept away by his kisses and that would stop now. With a silent prayer, she asked God for the strength to keep J.R. at a safe distance.

Standing up to get a bowl of pudding Mama had put together before church, Julianna grabbed the phone when it rang.

"Hello?"

"Julianna?"

"Hi, Mr. Taylor." Julianna wasn't surprised by the call. She was more surprised he hadn't called earlier.

"Hi...uh, how are you?"

"Fine." Julianna wondered how long it would take for him to ask her to forgo her vacation and come in to work.

"Um, our new assistant manager started working last week."

"That's nice." She bit her lip. She wouldn't ask. She wouldn't.

"Well, as you suggested, Lila and Bobby have been training him and it's going well, but we ran into a little problem."

That didn't take any time at all. "Oh?" she said, silently hoping he was giving up and the job was open again.

"Look, I know this is going to be hard for you, but we, I mean, I really need you to come back sooner."

There was something about his voice that caused Julianna to pause before she said no. "What happened?"

He hesitated, and Julianna started to worry. "My, uh, my mother passed away, and I need to go take care of arrangements."

"Oh, Mr. Taylor, I'm so sorry for your loss!" Julianna's heart went out to her boss, and she chastised herself for her unkind thoughts. "I guess I can come back," she said as she turned and looked at J.R. who was frowning. "When do I need to be there?"

"I'm leaving Tuesday. Could you come in then?"

"Of course. I'll be there Tuesday morning."

"Thanks, Julianna, you're a peach."

More like a pomegranate, she thought, not very sweet and cluttered inside. "No problem."

Hanging up the phone, she turned to J.R. and Mama. "His mother died. What was I supposed to do?"

J.R. shrugged his shoulders.

Mama face was thoughtful. But she didn't acknowledge Julianna's question as she stared at her lap.

Loading the floor sander into his truck, J.R. stopped to take a breath. Junior wouldn't go for a walk with him the night before. She claimed he had to settle things with Stacy first. At least he had one more full day with her. Well, actually, no. That wasn't true. He had that blasted date with Stacy at noon. Inwardly groaning for losing that time with Junior, he rehearsed what he would say to Stacy. And if she got mad and stomped off, he would just go home and get back to work.

Julianna hadn't said much this morning, and he was trying to figure out how he truly felt about her. He didn't deny kissing her was wonderful, but this wasn't high school. The only reason he could come up with for why she broke up with him all those years ago was that he hurt her somehow. Now, he cared more about making sure he didn't hurt her again.

Still, he really thought they were heading for a future back then and when she pushed him away so hard, he had to be honest, staying away had been partly about making her suffer. Pretty cocky of him to think she'd ask him to come back to her. When she didn't try to contact him that first summer, he started college, figuring that by Christmas, she would have been begging him to come home. But with no word from her and the offer of work over the holiday, he decided against returning to Cooper Springs. Mama encouraged him to pursue his dream and from that point on, he never looked back.

Until now. Now all the "what ifs" circled around his brain like a whirling stripped-out screw. His own wounds had scarred over pretty well, but he risked Junior slicing them open. He had to decide if she was worth the risk.

It took a lot longer than he counted on to pick up the sander from the rental yard and get it up the stairs, even with Junior's help. Before they had a chance to start the sanding process, it was time for him to get cleaned up for his lunch appointment. He refused to ever think of it as a date again. It was just an appointment to get rid of a pest.

Taking a quick shower, he forgot Junior was still working upstairs when he came out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. The blush creeping up her neck matched the rush of redness he felt on his own as they stared at each other from the two doorways, steam billowing from behind him. If it hadn't been for the sparkle that grew in her wide eyes, he would have been too embarrassed to move. When she giggled—actually giggled—J.R. made a dash for the stairs and almost tripped in his hurry to get away. Several minutes later, feeling more in control in his jeans and t-shirt, Junior met him at the back door as he pulled on his jacket.

"You'll remember what I said, right?" she asked.

"You mean about the badger?"

"Yes. Don't let her get her claws into you." The way her eyes pleaded for understanding softened his heart, and he couldn't figure out why he hadn't fought for her all those years ago.

"Okay," he said as he reached for the doorknob.

"One more thing," she said.

When he turned back toward her, she moved in close and placed her lips on his in a quick, hard kiss. "If there's any chance for us, you need to get rid of Stacy." She laughed at herself. "I don't mean permanently...I mean she just can't even be your friend. She doesn't do 'friends.'"

"Got it," he said, softer and slower than before, running his hand along her cheek and curling his finger around a stray wisp of hair. "We really need to talk, Junior." She was definitely worth the risk.

"Get rid of Stacy."

An hour later, J.R. wished he had taken Junior's advice even more to heart. He thought he understood, but he wasn't sure anyone could have prepared him for the vixen sitting across from him in the diner. Well, maybe her three ex-husbands?

"Can you imagine?" Stacy hammered on, "there I was, trying to act all natural and the towel just fell to the ground!" Her sultry laugh grated on J.R.'s nerves.

Stacy's long-winded and unguarded story about losing her towel outside the hotel room when she was on her second honeymoon gave J.R. the willies. Trying his best not to imagine what that would look like, he took another drink of water. Why in the world would she think he'd be impressed with tales of her escapades with her ex-husbands? It had been one story after another, all with blatant sexual undertones and all in bad taste.

"When I knocked on the door, there was Devon, laughing so hard I had to punch him. But then, oh my goodness," she lowered her voice, "the way we carried on that afternoon—"

"You know, Stacy," J.R. straightened in his seat, done with this conversation, this lunch, and especially, this woman, "listening to your sex-capades on your honeymoon is a real turn off."

Stacy swallowed her next words and looked at J.R. She regrouped fast. "Oh, sorry, honey. I guess that was a little bad of me." She landed her perfectly manicured red nails across his hand. "I just want you to know I know how to have fun." The wink from her over-painted eyes turned J.R.'s stomach.

Pulling his hand into his lap, J.R. made a note to stop at the florist and get flowers for Junior. Never had he been so grateful for a heads-up warning about someone. "I know how to have fun, too, Stacy. But it doesn't involve losing my clothes and if it did, I certainly wouldn't share that with anyone."

"Well, aren't you the good little choir boy now? You weren't that way in high school." Her challenge was deliberate.

"I made a lot of mistakes in high school. But I knew better then, and I especially know better now. I suggest you pick on someone more suited to your...life-style." J.R. stood up. "I won't be calling you, Stacy, and I don't want you to call me. Can I be any clearer?"

Stacy sat up straighter in her chair, pushing her fake bosom tight against her tight-fitting tank top. J.R. was afraid she'd pop out of the top, someone would take a picture, and he would have another reason for Junior to hate him. "Well, J.R. honey, if it's Julianna Brown who lights your fire, be careful. She's as cold as a frozen fish, and she's got more skeletons in her closet than a serial murderer." The sweet, syrupy voice she'd used all through lunch disappeared and what J.R. figured was her real voice emerged, calculated and vengeful.

"I'm sure you're just saying that because you're unhappy Stacy. Why don't you try being yourself and find someone to actually love?"

"A fine thing for you to say. You were my first love, you know. I'm not sure I'll ever get over you." The coy, innocent look turned her words to lies, and J.R. felt sorry for her.

"You'll have to. See ya," he said as he picked up the check and headed for the cashier at the end of the lunch counter. He never looked back.

CHAPTER TEN

W hen J.R. walked in the door with two bouquets of flowers, Julianna instantly went on alert. In her world, flowers only meant someone died. He marched up to her, leaned in and kissed her, right in front of Mama, smiling at her obvious discomfort. Mama laughed as Julianna turned a deep red.

"Getting along better and better, I see," Sharon said.

J.R. joined in the laughter and presented each woman with a bouquet. "These are to say thank you."

Julianna fingered the blooms in her hand. "For what?"

Mama snickered.

J.R. plopped down in a kitchen chair and said, "For letting me know about Stacy. Except I think you were a little easy on her. That woman is just plain scary."

Both women were laughing then, and a peacefulness settled over the trio.

"J.R.," Mama said, "I'd like you to take me out to the cemetery this afternoon."

J.R. sat up in his chair, and Julianna sat down beside him. In all the time she'd been living close to Mama, she had never gone to the cemetery. At least, not as far as she knew.

"Really, Mama?" J.R. seemed just as surprised as Julianna.

"Yes. I have a few things to get off my chest, and I need to do it at the cemetery."

Mama's cryptic comments sounded ominous, but Julianna figured, with all the changes happening in her life and with J.R. home now, maybe she was needing whatever solace she could find from her deceased husband.

"When do you want to leave?"

"Now. I'll go get my heavier coat. It's pretty cold out today." Mama retreated into the front of the house.

"Well, what do you supposed is up with that?" J.R. asked Julianna.

"I have no idea."

"Have you ever taken her to the cemetery?"

"Never. If she's been before, I didn't know about it."

J.R. got up and reached for his coat. "When we buried my Dad, she said she never wanted to go back. She didn't want to think of him decaying in a hole in the ground."

Julianna thought of the funeral senior year. It had been a rough time for everyone, especially J.R. She didn't really know Mama then as well as she did now, and later, when Julianna was dealing with her own demons, the cemetery held a different meaning. Pulling herself from her thoughts, Julianna started putting on her own coat. "I'll come with you, if that's okay." She wasn't sure what she was thinking, but it felt right to go along.

Mama came back through the kitchen. "Oh, good, Julianna, I was hoping you would come, too."

J.R. raised his eyebrows to question her decision, but Julianna had no idea and simply shrugged her shoulders.

The ride to the cemetery was somber. After J.R. parked the truck, Mama pulled out a folded piece of paper from her wallet. "I don't remember exactly where the grave is. I have a map," she said.

The scowl on J.R.'s face made Julianna wonder if he was as ignorant as she that his mother carried a map to her husband's grave site in her wallet.

The lush green grass of the cemetery somewhat eased the sadness that pervaded the grounds. Flowers, plastic and real, adorned several tombstones as they worked their way through the cemetery, respectfully walking along the bottom edge of the grave sites. Down one aisle and up another, Mama looked carefully for the stone that marked her destination. Stopping at one, J.R. reached for her arm to keep her going, "This is someone else, Mama, not Dad."

"It's MaryLou Taylor's."

"Who's that?" Julianna asked.

"MaryLou was a sweet, deeply religious lady in our community who died far too young."

"Like Dad," J.R. added, still giving Mama a little tug to get her moving again.

"Look at the dates, Julianna," Mama suggested.

Julianna moved up closer to the stone and recited aloud, "MaryLou Taylor, born June 3, 1941, died April 6, 1986. Beloved wife and mother." Julianna turned to Mama. "I don't get it. Is this a relative of Brad Taylor's?"

"MaryLou married Charles Taylor in 1961. It was an elaborate wedding. The whole town pulled out all the stops. They were married in the Catholic church on First Avenue with over 200 guests. Charles was an up and coming businessman in town and paraded his new bride all the way from the church to his new store." Mama sighed. "We were all very happy for them. The only thing that saddened their union was that they had only one child, and I knew MaryLou wanted more."

Julianna's brain clicked through the information Mama was sharing, waiting for it all to make sense.

"Oh," said J.R.

"What?" Julianna stopped thinking for a moment. "Did you figure it out?"

"I think so."

"Do you want to tell me or wait for me?"

"I'll wait for you."

Julianna's blood roared to life with the double meaning of his comment, but she couldn't dwell on that now. Turning back to her calculations, the light finally went off in her head. "MaryLou was Brad Taylor's mother? I knew his dad owned the store a long time ago. I thought his parents moved away. Was it only his dad that moved?"

Mama nodded. "After MaryLou died, Charles never recovered. The store squeaked along for years because it didn't have any competition. Eventually Charles turned over operations to his son. Brad ran it into the ground. He finally had to sell this past year, but the new owners kept him as manager and the store name of 'Charlie's.'"

"I never knew." Julianna stared at the ground. "About his parents. No one ever talks about them."

"There was no reason you should know, until this week." Mama reached her arm around Julianna's shoulders.

"This week," Julianna repeated. Her head popped up with understanding. "He said he called me back into work because he had to make arrangements for his mother's funeral!"

"A funeral that took place thirty years ago," J.R. said tersely.

"What in the he—"

"Julianna!"

"—heck is going on?" Julianna wanted to pace but that wasn't appropriate here. Her face flushed, and she squeezed her eyes shut so tight, she saw stars. Glancing at Mama and J.R. who looked poised to catch her from falling, she backed up several feet. "I need to think. I'll wait in the truck."

"No need," Mama said, putting her folded piece of paper back into her wallet. "We're done here, anyway."

J.R. eyed his mother questioningly. "We are? What about Dad's grave?"

"I don't need to come here to talk to your father. I talk to him every night before I go to bed."

Mama brought her out here to show her Brad Taylor's lies. Julianna's brain felt like it would explode trying to figure out why he would call her back to work from her vacation. He knew she was helping Mama with her renovation. Did he have something against Mama? Did he have something against J.R.? Or was it just her?"

Losing Junior to her job slowed the progress on the house project substantially. The upstairs floors weren't too bad, but J.R. wasn't too sure how he was going to install new windows by himself, especially those on the second floor. He would just have to wait until Junior got off work. It really messed up his schedule. He checked his email every morning. Staying on top of his business in Portland from Cooper Springs wasn't as difficult as he originally thought it would be, and the extra time here allowed him to keep on seeing Junior. Latching onto that silver lining, he finished varnishing the hardwood floors upstairs, leaving the hall for later so he still had access to the bathroom.

"Mama," he said, finding Sharon busy with her cross-stitch in her favorite chair in the living room. "I'll feel better if you're out of the house for a few hours. The fumes from the varnish may not smell too bad to you, but they're not good for you to breathe in all day. Why don't you come with me while I take back the sander, and we'll stop for lunch?"

"Oh, my old bones can't walk through that big store. I think I'll have you drop me off at Henry's. You can pick me up on your way back. I'm sure you can find someone else to have lunch with."

Her fingers never stopped moving and yet, J.R. was sure she was calculating his reaction. "Fine. You call him, and I'll load the sander."

Getting the floor sander back into the truck without Junior's help was no small feat, and J.R. struggled to catch his breath. He missed Junior's help. On the way back from the home improvement store, he planned to stop in at Charlie's to see if he could convince Junior to have lunch with him before he had to pick up Mama.

He hadn't realized Mama and Henry Johnson were such good friends. Maybe that was why Mr. Johnson always let him and Junior play around his property.

Mama came out and smiled. "Henry's pleased as punch to have some company." Showing off the loaf of frozen banana bread in her hands, she said, "I'll just take him a treat, too."

"Sure, Mama." J.R. opened her door and held the bread while she climbed into the truck. He really did need to get a running board. Either that or a folding step stool.

Dropping Mama off at Mr. Johnson's reminded J.R. again to talk to him about doing some fixing up at his house. He wondered if he liked living alone or if he had ever considered the same type of retirement home Mama had picked out. Mr. Johnson's house would be a great fixer-upper. With all the acreage in back, it would sell quickly, he was certain.

"Don't hurry back, J.R. I can keep Henry company all afternoon if I need to."

With the sander returned, new decking purchased and loaded in the back of his truck, and the new windows set up for next-day delivery, J.R. pulled into Charlie's just before noon. He knew Junior had been furious with the whopper Brad Taylor had told and he was just as puzzled to know why he had done it. Being out of the loop of community happenings and well, community gossip, firmly set him on the outside.

Until a few days ago, that's where he wanted to be, but now he wasn't sure. Coming home opened a whole new can of worms, or was it a whole new slew of possibilities? His feelings for Junior were growing every day. Once awakened, they seemed to be on a clear-cut course for the finish line. And did he know what the finish line entailed? Until he found out what happened in the past, how could he think about the future?

Striding into Charlie's, he grabbed a shopping cart and headed for the dairy section. If nothing else, they needed milk. Getting into Junior's lane, he was pleased to see her smile when she spotted him. He watched her unabashedly while she helped the two old ladies in front of him, taking time to visit a little and make the women feel welcome. It dawned on him that she probably knew all her customers. She may even know their children and all their troubles, like a hairdresser. It was one of those small-town things. He didn't always go to the same grocery store in Portland, and he never remembered the cashier.

"Have a fun time at the library, Mrs. Jenkins," Julianna offered as the elderly lady pushed her cart out the door.

J.R. put the gallon of whole milk on the conveyor belt and smiled at Junior. "How's it going?"

Julianna rolled her eyes. "The new assistant manager spends all his time in Brad's office. It's like he's scared."

J.R. laughed. "Brad probably warned him about you."

"Well," she said, raising her chin, "I've been just as pleasant as can be all morning."

He didn't miss the flash in her eyes, though. That was enough to scare any reasonable man. "I came to ask you to lunch. Do you get a break soon?"

Glancing up at the clock over the exit and then catching J.R.'s gaze, Julianna picked up the phone at her station. "Bobby, I'd like to take my lunch now. Can you come out and cover for me?" Her eyes never left his.

J.R. grinned.

While she waited for Bobby to come out from the back, Julianna rang up the milk. By the time J.R. paid for it, Bobby was logging in to the cash register one aisle over and Junior was untying her apron. "Let me grab my purse and I'll meet you at your truck."

"See you there." J.R. suddenly wondered if the milk would spoil, but the temperature was cool enough, he figured if he left it in the back of the truck, it would be okay.

Julianna didn't waste any time.

As she slipped into the cab, she turned to J.R., her excitement hardly contained, "You would not believe the drama going on at the store!"

CHAPTER ELEVEN

J ulianna set a timer on her phone so she wouldn't lose track of how long they stayed at lunch. She was thrilled that J.R. had stopped and invited her out. Pushing aside the thoughts of what happened in the past, she vowed it didn't matter because no matter what was going on between them now, it wouldn't last. He would go back to Portland, and she would find another place for the trailer. Mama said it was hers to do with as she wished.

As J.R. pulled up to the neighborhood hamburger stand, he raised his eyebrows as if to ask if his choice was okay. She nodded. They had spent many an evening hanging out at this place and it brought back all the good memories. Those memories Julianna could handle.

"What was all that about when you got in the truck?" he asked.

"Well," she said, stringing the word out, "when I got there this morning, I found out that one of the reasons Brad called me back in was because two employees quit over the weekend. Kimberly and Joseph. Well, Joseph had given notice, so that wasn't a surprise, but Kimberly was next in seniority to me. I really wonder what happened to make her quit."

"Can you ask her?"

"I tried to call her on my morning break, but she didn't answer. I didn't want to leave a message. I'll catch up with her at church on Sunday."

J.R. stepped up to the ordering counter. "Do you want your usual?"

"You remember what I like?"

"Of course. I remember a lot of things, Junior."

"Except to not call me Junior," she muttered.

"Hey," he cajoled, "that's my special name for you now. I just can't call you Julianna."

"Why?"

J.R. didn't answer and turned to the cashier to place their order. By the time they were seated, he tried to change the subject. "Did you have a chance to call Brad on his lie?"

"Don't get sidetracked. Why can't you call me by my real name?"

The intensity in J.R.'s eyes frightened Julianna at first, but the more she held his gaze, the more she felt mesmerized. "It's just that...I don't know, I want to recapture what we had as kids. You were never Julianna to me. I don't know Julianna. I lo...like Junior."

"But I'm a grown woman now, J.R. Junior doesn't suit me anymore." She ignored the fact that he nearly dropped the "L" word.

"I suppose so."

"Look, I'll compromise with you. Can you just call me Julianna when we're out in public? You can call me Junior at home."

The way J.R. contemplated her offer, you would think the safety of the entire nation balanced on his response. "I'll try. That's the best I can do."

"Fair enough," she agreed. "For now."

"How does being two employees down affect the store?" he asked, returning to their previous topic,

"Well, it may mean I have to work longer hours until they hire someone new. But that can be good because since I didn't get the promotion, I could use the overtime."

"But if you're working overtime, you can't help me on the house."

"For someone who didn't want my help to begin with, that's kind of funny."

"You know I don't feel that way anymore, don't you?" He leaned over the table until their faces were only inches apart. "Don't those kisses mean anything to you?"

Julianna backed up against her seat. "Well, sure they do, but what kind of future could we have, J.R.? You live in Portland, and I live here."

J.R. leaned back. "You could move to Portland."

"And do what?"

"Anything you want, Jun...Juli...an...na," he stumbled.

She smiled and silently applauded his effort.

"You'd be amazed at all the possibilities there: school, tons of jobs, vocational training, lots of stuff."

"But I like it here. This is my home. It's your home, too, if you want it to be."

"I don't know. I have a good business and a great apartment. I've made a couple good friends and connections at my church."

"But I have that here. Well, mostly."

"Tell me about you and church. You said Mama insisted you take her to church when you moved into the trailer, but I'm sure she didn't require you to get baptized."

Julianna couldn't tell him everything, but maybe she could skip some stuff and just talk about God. "I'd been through a rough patch, including Earl and Maureen kicking me out. They say you don't always allow the Lord into your life unless you've hit rock bottom, and I think that's where I was. I was only working at the store part time, barely got fifteen hours a week, didn't have any money and no place to live. People I thought were my friends—like Stacy—had disappeared. When I started going to the worship service with Mama, I had nothing to do but listen. What the pastor said got to me. I asked Mama what I had to do to learn more. She gave me a Bible and started teaching me about Jesus. Two weeks later I was baptized."

"That fast."

"It was the right thing to do. I knew it then, and I know it now. I couldn't believe how different I felt after my baptism. I felt clean and pure, and I made God a promise right then to live his commandments and stay on the path."

"I had no idea you would accept Jesus into your life so easily."

"It wasn't easy, J.R. I went through a lot to get to the point where I would even listen." Julianna stopped abruptly. She hadn't thought about that before. If she hadn't made such awful choices before, would she ever have felt the desire to find God?

"I'm proud of you. I went through some stuff myself after my dad died, and I'm grateful I didn't let go of the things I had been taught."

He took her hand. She felt the tingles and sparks run through her arm and down her body the same way his touch affected her when they were teenagers.

"Maybe we can figure it out, Ju...lianna. I don't want to lose you again."

She smiled. The name was getting easier. But when she thought about coming clean about senior year, she frowned. She didn't know if she could ever do that.

"Now, why the frown? Oh," he pulled back even farther into his seat, "you don't feel the same way, do you? I'm just wasting my time, huh?"

The idea of J.R. slipping from her grasp caused her heart to jump and crack. She squeezed his hand. "Let's just take it one day at a time, okay? I don't know if we can work things out, but I might like to try." Could she just never tell him?

When Junior's—Julianna's—phone alarm went off, J.R. was disappointed their time was cut short. Dang her job. Yet he knew they were nowhere near ready for her to quit. What was he thinking, anyway? She wouldn't come to Portland with him without a commitment. Was he ready for that? They needed to get the past sorted out before they could have a future. Maybe he could get her out for a walk later.

Pulling up to the front of Charlie's, J.R noticed the store's message sign for the first time. "That's new," he said, pointing to the sign. "Who's John?" The sign didn't have the usual list of items on sale posted. Instead it said, "Welcome to the family, John."

"Oh, John Wells. He's the new assistant manager. I guess Brad will leave that up until he gets back from..." Julianna lowered her voice and now dripped venom, "...from his mother's funeral." Tossing her ponytail over her shoulder, she brightened. "The town loves the sign. Brad allows people to put up personal messages from time to time, and it's fun. Like, last year, Tommy Bales and Cindy Colfax graduated with straight As and he put that up there the last week of school. I thought it was really nice."

"Hmmm. Fun," J.R. mumbled.

"See you later," Julianna said. "Thanks for lunch." She opened her door and started to slip out of the truck.

"Wait!" J.R. didn't exactly yell, but Junior jumped and froze. He hurried out of the cab and around to her door. Holding the door for her to finish getting out, he put his hand behind her head and drew her in for a quick kiss.

Julianna turned beet red and dipped her head. "You shouldn't do that in front of the store."

"Why not?"

"Because people will talk."

"About us?"

"Yes, they'll think we're a couple again."

"That's what I want them to think. Actually, I couldn't care less what they think. That's what I want you to think."

The smile she gave him was reward enough.

He grinned all the way home.

At dinner Julianna filled Mama in on all the happenings at the store, then they worked until late going over the next steps of the renovation.

Keeping Mama living comfortably during the changes that needed to be made downstairs had to be handled carefully. They needed the kitchen to be last, but because they were ordering new cabinets for the bathrooms, their plan had to include a strategy where they didn't end up without plumbing. J.R. decided to clear out of the upstairs bathroom and share with Mama downstairs. She agreed and the following morning, he cleared out the bathroom cabinet upstairs and started taking off the old, chipped laminate countertop. Thank goodness Mama didn't want to change out the tub or the tile surround. It was still in pretty good shape; just needed a good scrub.

When the front doorbell rang, he heard Mama get up and answer the door. Women's voices floated through the air, but he couldn't hear exactly what was being said. He hoped Mama had a visitor. He knew part of the reason she wanted to move was because she was lonely. When she called him downstairs, he smacked his hand with the crowbar and muttered a curse. He wasn't going to get anything done if she interrupted him. Still, she wouldn't call unless it was important.

"What is it, Mama?" J.R. asked as he hurried down the stairs, stopping cold when he glanced at who was standing just inside the front door.

Stacy's slick smile caused a shudder to run down J.R.'s spine. "Good morning, J.R., honey," she said sweetly as she zeroed in on J.R.

"Good morning. I thought I told you not to call."

Stacy's smile got bigger. "Well, as you can see, I'm not calling. I heard Julianna had her vacation cut short. I thought I would help out Sharon, and well, you, by taking her place."

J.R. suddenly realized she was dressed for what she probably considered menial labor; jeans, a flannel shirt with a few strategic buttons missing, and tennis shoes. Her hair was pulled back, but her make-up was flawless. "I don't need your help, Stacy."

Stacy took a deep breath and smiled again, but this time it was as phony as a wooden nickel. "Sharon said it was all right."

J.R. looked at Mama with disbelief broadcast across his face. Mama's face was totally blank, which meant she was hiding something. Excusing himself and Mama, he asked Stacy to wait by the door and took Mama into the kitchen.

"Are you crazy?"

"Why?"

"I just got her out of my field of vision, and you want to put her in the same room working with me?"

"You didn't accomplish what you thought you did. I'd bet my bottom dollar you only postponed the inevitable. I thought if she worked—really worked—with you today, she'd get tired of it or break a nail or something and that would get her off your back for good."

J.R. thought for a minute, weighing the help, or lack thereof, that Stacy would be to getting rid of her for good. He only hoped Junior didn't find out about it. If she did, she probably wouldn't speak to him again. "I'll see. But don't tell Junior. I think I'm making headway with her, and I don't need Stacy messing it up."

"I won't say a word to Julianna."

J.R. returned to the entryway. Stacy was still there. Darn it. "If you really want to help, I'm tearing out the bathroom today. How good are you with a crowbar?"

"I'm great. Just watch me." Stacy headed for the stairs.

J.R. followed reluctantly. Before he started up the stairs, he said to Mama, "If she gets out of hand, I'll need you to chaperone."

CHAPTER TWELVE

K imberly Adams peeked in the sliding doors of the store and caught Julianna's attention before slipping away. The store staff called 3:00 in the afternoon the mid-day slump. Moms with kids in school were picking them up or waiting for them to get off the bus at home. Older women, like Mrs. Pauley always did their shopping early in the day. In about a half hour, the high school crowd would come in for their daily rations of candy and soda.

Julianna had been cashiering long enough to see the patterns. The closer they got to Halloween, the more candy on the shelves, and the more the kids would buy. Julianna cringed at the thought of their sugar highs. Letting Bobby know she was going outside for a short break, she keyed off her cash register and turned out the light above her station.

"I tried to call you earlier," Julianna said in a low voice as she casually leaned against the brick of the store front.

Kimberly hugged the wall of the store. "I know, but I didn't want to come when the store was busy."

"What happened? Why did you quit?"

"I just got fed up, Julianna. Mr. Taylor was acting weird and the new guy, John, didn't give me the impression he had ever worked in a grocery store before. When I told Brian, he told me to quit. He thinks he can get me a job near where he works in Salem. If I move there, we'll both at least live in the same area and maybe," she sighed, "closer to a more permanent relationship. Cross your fingers for me."

Julianna hugged her friend tight and wished her well. Kimberly had been a solid confederate in both the grocery store world and at church. Julianna would miss her, but she wanted only the best for her friend.

Slowly entering the store, Julianna wondered if she and J.R. would ever get to the point of a "permanent relationship." She still couldn't believe he'd kissed her in front of the store. Maybe that said more than words. No matter how he had behaved in high school, she knew he was a good guy—a good man. So why wouldn't he have a girlfriend in Portland?

By the time the teenagers came and went, Julianna had pushed her thoughts to the side and focused on trying to figure out the new assistant manager and why Brad had hired such an imbecile.

"Julianna," John said. "I wanted to talk to you about this work schedule. With two employees gone, we need to do some rearranging."

Julianna tried to school her thoughts and not give away the sheer frustration she felt every time he opened his ridiculous mouth. "Sure, I figured you would. What are you planning?"

The question seemed to take him off guard. "Oh, well, Brad said you did all the scheduling."

"Did he now? I'm afraid he's giving me way too much credit. I only scheduled the guys in the warehouse. He scheduled the staff working inside the store."

"Oh, maybe I misunderstood."

"When is Mr. Taylor going to be back?" She hoped her question sounded innocent enough.

"Um, tomorrow I think."

"He didn't tell you for sure?"

"I wrote it down somewhere, but I can't remember right off the top of my head."

John shuffled from one foot to the other, and Julianna could have sworn he was nervous. But for the life of her, she didn't know why. "Well, when you have a minute, I'd be curious to know. I'd like to discuss something with him."

Did she see a little worry cross John's face? Good grief, what kind of manager was he? "Mr. Taylor said you have a lot of experience in retail management. Where did you say you moved from?"

"Springhill. It may not be a very big town, but I've been doing this my whole life. See, mom and dad owned the hardware store there, and I'd been working in it since I was a little kid."

"Hardware."

"Yeah, just last year dad made me assistant manager under him. It was a pretty big deal. My folks actually took a vacation after that; first one in twenty years."

"What was your position before that?"

"Oh, um, warehouse supervisor." He snickered. "Not that we had much of a warehouse. Mostly just moving incoming shipments out to the store."

"It must have been challenging, supervising your crew and keeping up with all those shipments."

This time he laughed for real. "Just me and my sister. Dad called me supervisor because I was older."

"How did Sis feel about that?"

"Oh, she was fit to be tied. Complained to Dad almost every night at the dinner table." His grin relaxed. "I couldn't believe it when Brad called and offered me the job."

"Why's that?" Julianna's hands curled into fists.

"Because I never even applied. He knew my dad from college, and he called him up and asked if I was available. Oh," he said, looking at the front of the store, "you have a customer."

He turned toward his office, leaving a flabbergasted Julianna staring after him. If it hadn't been for Mr. Johnson at the cash register, she wasn't sure she could have stopped herself from screaming. Putting on her best cheerful face, which she was certain wasn't anywhere near believable, she greeted Henry.

"Hi, Mr. Johnson."

"Are you okay, Julianna?"

He was far too perceptive or maybe she couldn't pull this one back in like she usually did. Taking a deep breath, she tried again for a genuine smile. "Sure, I'm fine. How are you today?" Deflect, deflect.

"I'm good. I had a nice chat with Sharon yesterday. She's sure pleased with the way her place is shaping up."

Julianna frowned. "I was supposed to be more help, but they called me off my vacation."

"J.R. can handle it. He's good with his hands."

Finally, a real smile surfaced. "Yes, J.R. is good."

Pulling Mr. Johnson's final item across the scanner, she went through her process of closing the sale. When Mr. Johnson left with a promise to stop by and see the progress at Mama's, Julianna's fury returned. Brad Taylor had lied to her about John and about his mother. Julianna had had enough. Calling Bobby from stacking shelves, she asked him to cover the register. The throbbing of her head worked in her favor. She hung up her apron and told John she was sick when she brought her drawer to be locked up. She couldn't get home fast enough.

When J.R. heard the little-engine-that-could roar down the driveway, he couldn't decide if he should be worried or grateful. He didn't know why Junior was home early, but maybe Stacy would leave now. Her attempt at helping did nothing but slow everything down.

"Mama," he called down the stairs, "could you come up here for a minute?"

By the time Mama was in the bathroom doorway, he had come up with a good reason for her to be there. "What do you want to do about the medicine cabinet?" he asked. "I can't remember what we decided."

Mama looked at Stacy sitting on the toilet lid before answering. "It's still in good condition. We're leaving it." She paused. "I think I just heard Julianna come home."

The back door slammed.

"J.R.!" she yelled. "I need to talk to you."

"I'll be right down," he called back, watching Stacy's reaction.

Stacy stood up. "Well, I think I'll be going. Since Julianna's home, you don't need my help anymore today, right J.R.?"

J.R. shrugged off her fingers pawing at his arm. "This is going to sound rude, Stacy, but you weren't any help today. Sitting most of the time just watching me work isn't helping."

She snickered, "I didn't mean to distract you."

"You weren't distracting. You were in the way." He heard Mama sniff and silently apologized for being blunt, but it was the truth.

Stacy scooted around the mess in the bathroom as J.R. moved into the hall, revealing Julianna leaning against the wall at the top of the stairs with a small smile and a knowing look on her face. J.R. thought maybe she would lash out, but she kept very still, too still.

"Oh, hello, Julianna," Stacy said on her way down the stairs.

"Stacy."

"I was helping J.R. today since you had to work."

"Of course, you were."

Could everyone hear the poison in her voice, he wondered? They waited until the front door opened and closed, announcing Stacy's departure.

"I'm going to go back downstairs, J.R.," Mama said. "Unless you need me for something else?"

"No, Mama. Thanks." He was certain she knew what for.

Mama nodded and gave Julianna a hug before going back to the main floor. "I'll start dinner since Julianna's home early."

J.R. walked over to Junior, who hadn't so much as moved a muscle since he first saw her in the hall. When he bent to kiss her, he could feel her rigidity like a rubber-band ready to snap. A quick peck on her lips and she let out a breath. "Come on, let's go talk in the kitchen." Taking her hand, J.R. led her downstairs.

While Mama put together a corn chowder, Julianna expounded on her findings at work.

"I don't get it, Mama. I've been especially good lately. I hold my tongue...usually. I keep my temper...until I get in my car. I don't gossip...to anyone but you. I say my prayers and read my scriptures. Why doesn't that translate into getting the promotion I wanted so badly?"

"Honey, there's no guarantee that just because we follow all the commandments that we'll get everything we want. That's not how the gospel works."

"What am I missing? What do I need to do more?"

"It's not about more. It's about learning what Heavenly Father needs you to learn and then following His will."

"He doesn't want me to be assistant manager?"

"He sees the bigger picture. There must be something else out there He has in store for you that you don't know about yet."

When Julianna looked directly at J.R., he smiled. She frowned. But if she lost the promotion because she was supposed to be with him, he was way okay with that.

"I've waited a long time, Mama."

Mama looked at J.R., and he realized she expected his arrival to play a part. He wasn't ready for any declarations and certainly not in front of Mama. He looked at Junior. "That doesn't explain why Brad Taylor is lying."

"No, it doesn't," Mama agreed. "But guessing doesn't bring answers. Julianna, you'll just have to wait until he comes back to work and confront him."

J.R. shifted in his seat, uncomfortable with Junior confronting Brad. "Is that a good idea?"

"He hired an inept, inexperienced idiot instead of giving me a promotion I've been working on for years."

"It's not that I don't think confronting him is a good idea, but maybe you shouldn't do it alone."

Junior glared at him. Not the right thing to say, apparently. "I can take care of myself. I've been doing it for a long, long time."

J.R. grabbed her hand across the table. "But you're not alone now."

"You're staying in Cooper Springs?"

"I didn't say that. But we're getting this place ready to sell, right? Mama is going to move into a retirement home and...and well, what do you plan to do then?"

"If I'd gotten that promotion, I'd make enough for a small apartment of my own. But as it is, I was just going to ask someone if I could move the trailer onto their land." Her voice dropped as she finished.

"Like who?"

"I thought about asking Mr. Johnson."

J.R.'s protective instincts surfaced, and he rubbed his face. "That might work, but what if he follows Mama's lead and sells his place, too?"

"Henry's not going to sell," Mama said as she stirred the cream into the chowder. "She'd be fine out there."

A vision of the forest in Mr. Johnson's backyard and Junior's little trailer sitting on the edge of it started his imagination running off like a skill saw that couldn't be shut down. The more he pictured wild animals and, worse, wild teenagers—after all, he'd been one of them once upon a time—the more worried he became. "I don't think that's a good idea."

Julianna's eyes widened. "Why not?"

"Well, anything could happen. And Henry's not so young anymore. How could he protect you? I'm not sure he'd even hear anything if something were to happen."

"Henry's hearing is just fine," Mama said.

J.R. couldn't take his eyes off Junior, holding her gaze with an intensity that threatened to jump out of his skin. She studied him for several seconds before a flash of understanding lit behind her eyes. "I see," she said softly.

"Dinner's ready," Mama said.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

W hen dinner was over, Julianna stood up to take care of the dishes. She'd been neglecting her deal with Mama to help around the house. Not that she'd been wasting time, she had been helping J.R. with the renovation, but she hadn't been doing her chores. She wondered if that was why she felt she was being punished. Working through Mama's comments about Heavenly Father not wanting the promotion for her because he had better things planned weighed down on her. Did that mean everything she wanted for herself was wrong?

J.R. came up behind her, bringing her the empty soup pot.

"How do I know what Heavenly Father wants me to do?" she asked.

"I may not be the best person to ask. I haven't always gotten what I wanted either. In fact, at first, I only came back here because Mama guilted me into it."

Julianna shot him a measured glance.

His hands came up in front of his chest, patting the air. "But I'm really glad I'm here now. I'm truly glad to be with you again. You must believe that."

She turned back to the sink. "I do. Especially since I overheard what you said to Stacy when I first got home." She smiled but didn't let J.R. see it.

He must have heard it in her voice, though, because he wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck right below her earlobe. She shivered. His touch stole her breath away. "Let's go for a walk after you're done here."

"I'd love to." Placing the last dirty dish into the dishwasher, she took the dish cloth and ran it along the counter, across the stove, and around the inside of the empty sink before ringing it out and draping it along the top of the faucet. Flipping out the light above the counter, she turned around. "Ready."

J.R. chuckled. "I'll get our jackets."

"Mama," Julianna called into the living room, "we're going for a walk."

No answer.

Julianna walked into the living room and found Mama resting in her favorite chair, the TV turned on to the evening game shows, snoring away. Back in the kitchen, she wrote a quick note, letting Mama know where they were going and left it on the table.

J.R. helped her into her denim jacket, but she wasn't even sure she needed a coat tonight. J.R.'s intense gaze and warm hands could keep her comfortable no matter how chilly the night had turned.

Taking the road away from town, J.R. didn't waste any time taking her hand out of her pocket and putting it inside his, with his hand tightly intertwined. "I've wanted to be alone with you all day."

Julianna laughed. "Didn't I see you at lunch?"

"We weren't alone."

"And didn't I see you again at dinner?"

"We weren't alone then either."

"Why, Mr. Bentley, why ever would you want to be alone with me?" Her heart lightened and the cares of promotions, Stacy, and not getting the renovation further along all faded into the sunset surrounding them.

J.R. squeezed her hand. "When we're about a mile out, I'll show you."

"You need a whole mile?"

"I don't want to get interrupted again."

Julianna leaned into J.R.'s side and squeezed his hand back. "I can hardly wait."

Walking in companionable silence, her thoughts wandered back to what Heavenly Father wanted for her. Did J.R. play a role in it? If only she could start from here and forget the past. She felt like he had a spell on her and whenever he was around, she couldn't escape his magnetism. He cared for her; she knew that. It was why he worried about her living out at Mr. Johnson's place. But then why did he do what he did in high school? Was it just lashing out because of his father's death? What if he had stayed? Would they have sorted everything out...eventually? After Stacy had married Steve?

Rounding a curve in the road, J.R. pulled Julianna aside and toward a small grove of trees. The sun had disappeared behind the tree-lined hills, but the twilight guided their way. Stars twinkled in the darkening sky, like diamonds from heaven itself. Julianna sighed as J.R.'s hands cupped her face and she knew something else; she knew she loved him still. Only this time her love was that of a woman, not a high school girl fretting about her foster parents, worried about fitting in with the other kids, and trying to get people to see past her background. This was full on, grown-up love; deep and lasting for a man she could no longer imagine her life without.

When his lips took hers, she gave herself completely, relishing in the softness of his mouth and the warmth of his kiss. Her hands found the back of his neck, and her fingers ran through his hair. He pulled her closer, and she clung to him. This was right. This was meant to be. Kiss after kiss, his lips danced along her jaw, down her neck, across her ears, and back to her mouth as she languished in his caress.

She gave as good as she got, invading his mouth and letting all the passion inside bring them to a frenzied fervor. The night was no longer cold but heated to the point of burning.

Stopping to catch their breaths, Julianna wrapped her arms inside his coat and held him. She could feel the erratic beat of his heart through her cheek. It matched hers perfectly.

"Julianna," he said, and she noticed he didn't stumble over her name for the first time. Maybe he was ready for her to be all grown up after all.

"Yes."

"I love you. I've always loved you."

"I love you, too, J.R. I didn't think I could again, but I do."

His arms tightened around her. "I need to know what happened, Junior."

And just like that, she was back in high school. The pain of those days pierced her heart and she let go. Then, with a silent prayer on her lips, she quietly asked, "What do you need to know?"

"Why did you say what you said on graduation day? About never having to see me again?"

"I was angry with you."

"But why? What did I do? I thought, after prom, we would be together always. I even proposed to you."

"You did not."

"Well, it wasn't the most eloquent proposal, I suppose, but I still asked you to marry me."

"If you had, I would have remembered. I don't remember any proposal."

"It was unconventional."

"It must have been."

He paused and asked, "Why were you angry?"

"How did you propose?"

"You answer my question, and I'll answer yours."

"Okay." Julianna swallowed hard. This was her moment of truth. What would he say? Would he deny it? Did she care anymore? "Stacy and I were pretty tight back then, and the night before graduation, I told her about being with you after prom. I didn't go into any details, I just let her know we had crossed that line and I was in love."

"So, why were you angry?"

"I'm getting to that. When I told her, Stacy went all pale and stuff and started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said she was upset because you had done it—you know, 'it'—with her, too, and told her you were in love with her. She said you felt sorry for me and never planned to see me after we started college. She sounded sincere and she was so worked up...I know I should have kept what we had done to myself, but I wanted to shout to the world that we were in love and loving you was the most amazing thing that had ever happened in my life."

If ever there was a time when J.R. thought he could literally kill someone, it was that moment when he learned Stacy had been the one to shatter his dreams with Junior...Julianna. Taking deep breaths of frigid air to calm the raging storm that unleashed itself in his soul, he grabbed Junior's hand and started back to the house at a fast clip. How could Stacy do that? They weren't even friends, except that he was nice to her because she was Junior's friend. Well, apparently not even Junior's friend, as she had proved since he came home. J.R.'s clenched jaw started to ache, and he pulled harder on Julianna's hand without thinking.

"J.R., stop!"

J.R. stopped. "What?"

"Are we in a race all of a sudden? And what's with trying to break my hand? Did I say something wrong?"

The worry in her eyes stabbed his heart. "I'm sorry. I'm so mad at Stacy I could...well, I'm mad. I shouldn't take it out on you."

"Oh. Why are you angry with her?"

"Why aren't you?"

"Believe me, I was. I guess ten years has sort of weakened the blow." She looked vulnerable for the first time since he'd been home. "I was mad, and I didn't know what else to do but break up with you."

"She lied."

"About what?"

"About everything. I was never with her. I didn't even like her all that much. I was only nice to her because she was your friend."

"She lied?" Julianna's voice was soft and thoughtful. "You still loved me then?" A cloud flitted across her face, and she closed her eyes.

"I told you, I proposed."

"Yeah, I must be getting goofy because I don't remember a proposal."

"Did you read your yearbook?"

"Sure."

"What did you make of my comments?"

"Your comments..." Julianna repeated slowly. "I'm not sure I...oh wait, I remember. You wrote in code. I didn't even look at it until months later. But I was still upset with everything, and I never took the time to try to decipher it."

"I always wrote in code to you. Whenever I slipped you a note in the hall, it was always in code."

"Yeah, but I couldn't always figure out what you were saying." She chuckled.

"This code you could have figured out." J.R. rubbed his face. "Do you still have your yearbook?"

"It's in the trailer. But it's probably buried in the back, hiding in a box."

"Well, just for kicks, let's get it out and I'll explain it to you."

This time when he took her hand, he made sure to hold it possessively, but not too hard. They made their way back to the house, and J.R. looked forward to showing Junior his message. He wondered how soon he could make it official. Never in his life did he think that coming home to help Mama would bring him back to Junior and the hope of a life together.

As they neared the house, J.R. noticed a soft plume of smoke coming from the chimney. "Mama must have company," he said. "She never starts a fire when she's alone."

"Let's go see who's visiting."

Going in the back door, they hung their coats on the hook in the mudroom and headed for the living room. J.R. took Julianna's hand again, making a statement for anyone who wanted to pay attention. A warm, cozy fire crackled and popped as it danced behind the metal screen. Sharon laughed and looked up when they came in.

"Oh, good, you're here. I was telling Henry all the plans we have for the first floor."

Henry stood up and shook J.R.'s hand. "You've done great work here, J.R. I'm impressed. Hello, Julianna."

Julianna nodded her hello.

"Thank you, Mr. Johnson. I'm really glad I could be here to help Mama." J.R. squeezed Julianna's hand. She squeezed back, a smile pulling the corner of her mouth. He hoped Junior understood the real reason he was glad to be back.

"J.R.'s been a marvel getting all the bedrooms done," Sharon said. "I'm afraid when we do the downstairs, it'll be pretty messy for a while. But it should be finished before Thanksgiving. It will be like having a brand-new house for the holidays."

Mr. Johnson turned back to Mama. "When are you putting it on the market?"

"Right away," interrupted J.R.

"After the first of the year," said Mama at the same time.

"But Mama, I thought you were moving into the retirement home as soon as the renovation was done." J.R. was confused. Did he misunderstand her when he first arrived? Didn't she say they were holding her spot, but she had until the end of the month?

"Hidden Meadows called. That's the retirement home," she said to Henry, then turned back to J.R. "They called and said my move-in date was postponed because they had a problem with a leaky pipe, and it caused a bunch of damage. They've pushed everything back until they can get it fixed."

"Why didn't you say something?" J.R. paused. "Actually, never mind. We can discuss this later. Good to see you, Mr. Johnson. Jun...Julianna and I are going to go find a book from high school that's in her trailer somewhere."

Mama's eyes brightened. "Yes, we'll talk later J.R. You two kids go ahead."

The trailer was tiny, but warm and comfortable. He noticed she kept it clean and tidy. When she was living with the Hobson's she would always talk about having a place of her own and never living in filth again. J.R. hadn't ever stepped inside the Hobson's house. They lived on the edge of town, and Junior said she wasn't allowed to bring anyone over. They always met at his house. Well, except when they took the wheelers around Mr. Johnson's forest.

"Sit down and I'll find the yearbook."

J.R. slid onto the bench seat of the little dinette. Taking a better look around as Junior disappeared in the back, he could see the potential of living in a small space. Of course, if you had children, that wouldn't work. The idea surprised him. When did he start thinking about kids? An image of dark-haired boys and girls danced before his eyes and he clamped down on his thoughts. Too soon for that.

"Need help?" he offered. Sitting and waiting brought on too much speculation about what could lay ahead. Although, it registered in his brain that what he was waiting to show her also led to the future. At least, he hoped it did.

"No, I'm okay. I think I finally found the right box."

J.R. heard the shuffling of cartons. It was a good thing the rear bunkhouse allowed for storage.

Finally, Julianna emerged, carrying a wide, but flat shipping box marked high school. "I found it. It'll just take a second to go through the box."

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

J ulianna opened the box of high school memorabilia. Waves of memories crashed around her with every report card, old assignments with an "A" circled at the top, show programs, and piles of notes from both J.R. and Stacy. She had almost burned the notes, but at the last minute, she decided to keep all of it as a reminder of her poor choices. Now, she was glad she kept them. Although the notes from Stacy weren't worth anything to her anymore, those from J.R. were now very precious. At the bottom of the shallow box sat the old yearbook. She rubbed her hand across the front, a little nervous about opening the pages of pictures that would bring the past to life.

"Do you remember where you wrote your message?" she asked.

J.R. blinked as though he'd been deep in thought. "Uh, not really, but it shouldn't take too long to flip through the pages, right?"

Sitting down next to J.R., Julianna snuggled up to his side and set the book down on the table. Page by page they looked over the pictures of former classmates and teachers, laughing at some of the crazy stunts the photographer had captured on film. There weren't very many comments. Julianna never had a lot of friends, but in the moment of graduation, classmates who never reached out during the year—except for the possibility of group assignments—pretend they were always there for each other. The typical "have a great summer" and "on to better things" accompanied "you were always nice to me" and "hope you enjoy college." The surprise sadness that Julianna felt for missing out on getting to know some people better shook her up.

Just before the class groups, J.R. pointed to a place on the page with a bunch of letters and numbers. "Here it is."

"See, it's just random letters and numbers," she said.

"Not so," he explained. "The first part is a series of letters I put in a previous note. I figured you would recognize it. Then, the last part, the letters represent a word and the number represents the page where that word is found. I highlighted the word on that page so you would know which word I meant."

"I'm not following you."

"Look, let's go through it together."

He scooted closer, and Julianna felt like she was unlocking some big mysterious treasure.

"Okay, the first letters are I-W-L-Y-F. Do you remember me writing that before?"

Julianna pulled out the bundle of notes from the box.

"You saved all my notes?"

"Yes." She didn't want to admit she had once thought to burn them or why she kept them.

"Wow. I'm sorry to admit I didn't save yours."

"It's okay. You're a guy."

J.R. grimaced. "Okay. Can you find where I wrote those letters before?"

She pulled out the notes dated closer to prom. The first one didn't have the same letters, but the second one did.

Junior,

I can't wait until school is out. I miss my dad so much, but I know when we get to college, things will get better. Mama cries a lot and it hurts to listen to her. I'm glad you're my friend and I hope one day you'll be something more. I-W-L-Y-F.

J.R.

"I remember that note. You gave it to me in Mrs. Ingall's English class. She almost confiscated it, but you went up and talked to her privately and after that, she just said to stop passing notes in class." Julianna looked over at him. "What did you say to her?"

"I don't remember. I do remember being panicked that someone else would find the note and make fun of it."

"Most of your notes you put in my locker. I always loved finding one there." She sighed. "It wasn't like you could leave it at my house."

"Can you figure out what the letters mean?"

"I. Is that 'I?'"

"Yes."

"Okay, I...want, went, will, wonder..."

"Will."

"I will...leave, like, listen..."

"Love."

"Love," she repeated, slowing her rhythm. "You told me you loved me then?"

"Well done, detective." J.R. clapped his hands softly, and gave her a loving look she remembered well. Julianna swallowed hard.

"I-will-love-you? Is that the 'Y?""

"I will love you forever." J.R. turned in his seat and cupped her chin. "I will, Julianna. I will love you forever."

Their breaths mingled. Julianna lifted her lips to his in a tentative brush against them. "I'll always love you, too."

J.R. returned her butterfly caress with a little more pressure and soon the book was forgotten, and the intensity of their kiss told the story better. Julianna lost herself in desire. She matched his ardor until she felt the frenzy of passion consume her. The heat inside her body burst, her heart beating as though it would jump out of her chest. She wanted J.R. completely. Her hands started to roam over his chest, down his arms, lower.

Instantly, J.R. broke their kiss. "Slow down, Junior." He stopped until she looked in his eyes. She saw the fire there that matched her own. "I want you, too, but not until we're official."

Embarrassed for letting their kiss hijack her self-control, Julianna could feel the blush spread over her cheeks, and she buried her face in his shirt.

"Hey," he said gently. "Don't do that. It's all good. I love you. I want you. I just want to do it right this time."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Last week you wanted to kill me. We've made excellent progress. Let me show you the rest of the yearbook message."

"Oh, right." Julianna couldn't believe she'd been so caught up in making out with J.R. that she forgot why they were sitting at her dinette."

Turning back to the book, she said, "P-6-M-12-M-25." She laughed. "I'm supposed to understand that?"

"Well, when I wrote it, I was going to give you a key to unlocking the code and then watch you figure it out."

"Okay, what's the key?"

J.R. smiled, running his fingers through her hair. "The letter is for the word you'll find highlighted on the page number following the letter. 'P' is the first letter of the word highlighted on page six."

"Okay, give me a minute." Julianna brushed his hand away. Sitting next to him was distraction enough. Quickly turning to page six, she scanned the page and finally found a picture of a student carrying a sign that read "Red Cross Blood Drive - Please Donate." The "Please" was faintly highlighted in yellow. "Please."

"Please," J.R. repeated.

"The next word starts with 'M' and is on page twelve." Julianna turned to page twelve and began searching. It was a page of freshman head shots in alphabetical order. Looking at all the pictures, she thought she missed it when, she mentally slapped herself. She was supposed to be looking for words, not at pictures. At the bottom of the page, she saw the name Mary Davenport. The highlight of Mary's name was almost indiscernible. "Mary?"

"Well, there wasn't about to be the word M-A-R-R-Y in our high school yearbook. I worked with what I had."

"Please marry..."

"And the last letter?" J.R. prompted.

"Oh, 'M.' I'm guessing the word is 'me,' but I want to find the clue anyway."

J.R. smiled. "Page twenty-five."

Julianna's fingers flew to page 25, and she searched for the "me." There, on a poster in a photograph where all the state abbreviations were displayed, the abbreviation for Maine was highlighted. "ME."

"Please marry me, Julianna."

If the world stopped turning and everything in it fell in a rubble from the sudden stop, it couldn't compare to the way Julianna's heart shattered at that moment. The knowledge that Stacy had lied about J.R. in high school and that he still loved her swam around inside her mind and heart, but couldn't gain a footing.

There was too much J.R. didn't know, and she simply couldn't bring herself to tell him. The way she behaved after she sent him away haunted her every day, and she would never put that kind of burden on him. She did love him. She loved him too much to bring him down with this.

"I can't marry you," she said to her lap, her sadness threatening tears.

She heard his breath hitch. "You lied, and you don't love me," he said.

The dejection she heard in his voice landed like a lump of coal in her stomach. She looked up and willed him to understand. "I do love you. But we need more than that."

Hope returned as he said, "You just need more time?"

"That's such a cliché."

"Clichés are what they are because they're used a lot. They're used a lot because they're true."

Julianna closed the yearbook, now more precious to her than ever, and scooted out from the bench. "To tell you the truth, things have moved too fast for me in general. I don't understand what's going on at work, and you've only been home a little more than a week. I need to think and figure out what I want. With Mama moving out, I...I just have a lot on my plate right now."

J.R. stood as well and pulled her into his warm embrace. "I get it. I do. I never thought this would happen when I came back. I guess in the deep recesses of my heart, I always wished it would and maybe that's why I'm pushing hard now. I don't want to lose you again."

"You won't lose me." Julianna prayed fervently that was true, enjoying the feeling of protection in his arms. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Maybe we should call it a night. When is your next day off?"

"I'm not sure. Since we're two employees down and Brad is still out, I don't have a day off scheduled right now."

"That's not fair, Junior. You shouldn't have to put up with that."

Grateful the conversation had switched from their relationship to her work, she agreed. "I'll figure it out once I've had a chance to talk to Brad."

"I guess that's the best we can do for now."

Julianna smiled at his use of the term "we" and took his hand as they covered the extremely short distance to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow after work."

"I'm starting on the downstairs tomorrow. Be prepared for the place to start looking like a construction zone."

"No worries."

"I'm not giving up on us, Junior." J.R. gave her another spell-binding kiss before he walked across the grass and into the house.

Julianna dropped her chin and fought the burn in the back of her eyes. No worries. What a joke. Why couldn't love be enough? The temptation to marry J.R. and not tell him what she'd done pulled at her mind. But she knew if she did that, it would come back and bite her one day. Somehow, he would find out and then he would hate her. She couldn't bear to see that day come. She turned off the lights. One tear escaped down her cheek and she crawled into her bed, not even bothering to change into her pajamas or brush her teeth.

The next morning, Julianna showed up for work before her scheduled time to make up for leaving early the day before. It wasn't that anyone really cared. She did it for her own conscience. She didn't want anyone to be able to accuse her of slacking. When she realized by mid-morning that Brad still wasn't coming in, her heart sank. By the time he showed up, her fury would be gone, and she probably wouldn't even confront him; water under the bridge and all that. Still, the confusion she felt over his lies and pressing her to come back to work when she had earned her vacation time wouldn't let up. She didn't care about his reason to be gone. It was all just bad timing. She wanted to be with J.R. working on the house.

During her morning break, Julianna scoured the local paper for housing options. The trailer was fine, but it didn't make a good permanent home. Without access to a full-size kitchen, bathroom, and laundry facilities, the trailer would lose its charm quickly.

Mama's delay putting the house on the market until after the first of the year would give her extra time to find the right place. She had a little money saved, enough for a first and last month's rent. Yet what she could afford every month didn't amount to much. She didn't have any furniture of her own. Mama told her she could have whatever she wanted in the house. She wouldn't need it in the retirement home. Everything else would be sold.

Cooper Springs was too small for there to be much in the way of apartments, and Julianna wasn't interested in renting a house. She broadened her search to include all the surrounding towns within a thirty-mile radius. Still, the pickings were meager. Maybe Pastor Doug would have an idea for her. That thought perked her up a little as she went back to her station.

When J.R. came into the store shortly after noon, she smiled. She might not feel right marrying him, but she loved his company. His grin covered his whole face when he approached her station with a pack of gum.

"Big spender," she said, chuckling.

"I just wanted to see when you could take off for lunch. I didn't want you to get in trouble."

"You know, we're a pretty small operation. I don't think I would get in trouble for talking to our customers."

"Exactly. I'm a customer. Can you go to lunch?"

Julianna laughed. "Let me call Bobby. I'll meet you out front."

"Perfect."

She couldn't keep her eyes off him as he sauntered out the door, popping a stick of gum in his mouth, and stuffing the rest into his jacket pocket.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

"I 'll say it again, I'm not giving up on you, Junior." J.R. smiled as he watched Julianna blush.

"You might be wasting your time, J.R."

"I never waste my time if I'm spending it with you." He winked and leaned forward on his elbows that were resting on the table diminishing the space between them. He whispered, "You're going to change your mind, Julianna. You're going to marry me."

Julianna's nervous laugh gave J.R. comfort. Her blush deepened.

How could he get her to understand he didn't care about all the lies and misconceptions?

"Let's talk about something else," she said. "What did you do on the house this morning?"

"Fair enough." He leaned back in his seat, grabbing a stray French fry from the basket in front of him. Swiping it through the last of the ketchup, he dropped it into his mouth. "I moved Mama upstairs to the first room in the front of the house. She'll need to limit her trips to her bedroom to once or twice a day, but with her out of the downstairs bedroom, we can tear out the carpet and get it ready for new paint. Then we'll refinish the hardwood floors when we do the living room, dining room, den, and entryway."

"There was hardwood under the carpet in the bedroom downstairs?"

"Yeah. There was a time when people thought wall-to-wall carpet was better than wood."

"Funny how time changes things."

"Absolutely," he agreed, no longer thinking about the house renovations. Yet time hadn't changed his feelings for her. It had only held them in limbo until he chose to acknowledge them again.

"Did she pick out the stain for the cabinets yet?"

"Finally. I called Jack and gave him the information. He had the boxes all built and was just waiting on her choice of stain before he could finish the doors and attach them to the boxes. They'll take a couple days to dry and then he can deliver them."

"This is taking longer than you planned, isn't it?"

"I guess so." He reached over and started playing with her hand. "But I'm not complaining, Junior. I have some decisions to make, and I'm not sure about them yet, but I want the future to include you."

"I thought we weren't going to talk about that."

"Sorry. I can't help myself."

She twisted her mouth into a smirk. "Let's get back. We're behind stocking the shelves and I need to let Bobby go for lunch, too."

"You're very dedicated. I hope they realize what a great employee you are."

"Humph! Fat chance," she said. "If they really appreciated me, they would have given me that promotion."

They gathered their trash and left the baskets on top of the trash receptacle. J.R. drove her back to the store and kissed her long and sweet before letting her out of the truck. He grinned when he saw the smile on her face as she made her way back to her station. His smile lasted all the way home.

Four days of steady rain kept J.R. working inside, and soon the downstairs looked like it had been raided by a moving company. Furniture was pushed up against one side of the living room, the rugs were rolled up and lined the entryway. Box after box of trinkets, artwork, and other knick-knacks were stacked up against the wall leading to the kitchen, ready to be stored out of the way in the garage. J.R. had scheduled the renovations for the kitchen last. That way, they could set up a make-shift work space in the finished dining room when the cabinets were torn out and waiting for the new ones. Hopefully, it would be only one day without the countertops. Once they were in place, the new appliances that had been delivered and stored in the garage could be installed and it wouldn't be too long before they'd be up and running.

When the sun pushed the clouds away, J.R. decided to focus on the outside as long as the weather held. He started by stripping off the old paint on the outside of the house. Mama's choice of a soft yellow would give the house a great old-fashioned feel. The white trim fit with the farmhouse look, and new black shutters would add that something extra.

The new windows had been delivered, but he was waiting until Junior could help him install them. He could probably find someone else to help, but he knew how much she missed working on the project. Once the windows were in and the new paint was done, his plan was to tear out the old porch in back and start nailing down the composite decking Mama wanted. It would wear well, rain or shine, and never need to be painted.

Sometimes thinking about everything that needed to be done wiped him out. In his projects around Portland, he usually hired someone to do the majority of the work. He would tinker at some of the stuff one man could handle, but if it needed more than just him, he hired it out.

He wondered what life would be like if he and Junior actually got married. Would she want to help him with his work? Would she want to work retail somewhere close to where they would live? She didn't like the city with all its traffic, noise, and people everywhere, but maybe they could find a little house in the suburbs. His mind wandered as he envisioned Julianna in a cute little kitchen and a couple of toddlers hanging on to her legs as she cooked.

"J.R.!" Mama's voice jarred his thoughts, and his daydream evaporated.

"What?" he asked, returning to the task at hand, scraping old paint.

"Did you ask Julianna what time she would be home?"

"I think she said the usual time, why?"

"Because she's late."

A feeling of anxiety whirled through him. "She probably stayed late to help out."

Mama came outside and stood next to J.R. "Maybe. But it isn't like her not to call and let me know."

"What would you like me to do?"

"Go down to the store and make sure she's okay."

"Really? She might get mad. You know how she gets when she thinks we don't give her enough credit for taking care of herself."

"I have a bad feeling."

And that's all it took for J.R. to put away his supplies, wash his hands, and head for the store. When Mama got a feeling, it was wise to pay attention.

Julianna re-crossed her legs and glanced at her watch. She wondered what she had missed for dinner. Sitting in the manager's office since five o'clock had tested her patience beyond reason. With every breath, her frustration mounted. John flipped through a flimsy folder that held the company's policies and procedures. Julianna was pretty sure it hadn't been updated since the 1970s when Brad Taylor's father ran the store.

John sat in Brad's chair rubbing his fingers into his temple as though he was drilling for oil. Occasionally he would turn a page of the little booklet. "I'm just not sure what to do now, Julianna."

Julianna sighed and tried to look anywhere but at the poor excuse for an assistant manager in front of her. "How about you let me go home?" she suggested. "Then you can keep calling Mr. Taylor and let me know his decision tomorrow."

"I don't think I'm supposed to let you go yet. I think I'm supposed to call the police."

"Then call them, for Pete's sake!"

It had taken John over an hour just to verify that her drawer was short. Julianna had counted it three times, but John had counted it at least ten. It had happened before, a few cents here or there. But this time the drawer was short more than two hundred dollars, and Julianna was as stumped as John about how that could happen.

John continued to read silently. "I don't have any evidence, you know. The security cameras were shorting out all day, and the tech guy didn't come until after three to fix them."

"Yes, you said that about six times already." It felt like he'd said it a hundred, and Julianna had reached her limit. "Look John, I've been with the store a long time. I live ten minutes away. J.R. and Sharon Bentley will both vouch for me, as will my pastor, Doug Bridger. I'll be back in the morning, and I'll help you find out what happened."

"No. I can't do that." He slowly turned another page. "Oh," he said with a little more spirit, "this might be it." Julianna predicted he'd read the same paragraph five times before he told her what it said. After several minutes, he said, "Okay. You are to be put on suspension without pay for a period of at least one week, during which time we will contact the authorities and investigate."

"Fine." Julianna stood, no longer caring what John said. "Can I leave now?"

"I'll need to escort you out of the store."

"Whatever."

Standing up and stretching her legs, she marched out of Brad's office and right into a strong broad chest. "Oomph." Julianna knew that chest and gratefully wrapped her arms around J.R.

J.R. grabbed onto Julianna's arms and held her close. "Problem?" he whispered.

"Get me out of here, please," she whispered back.

"You bet." He whisked her around and kept his arm across her shoulders as they walked through the double plastic doors that separated the backroom and offices from the store front.

"Not so fast, Julianna," John called from behind.

Julianna turned around, impatient to get this over with. "What now, John?"

"I need your keys."

With every bit of control that she could muster, she managed not to throw her keys at John and stomp out the door. Once she was outside, J.R. took her hand and walked her to her car. The warmth of his hand kept her from screaming and lashing out.

"You okay driving?"

Through clenched teeth, she said, "Sure. I'll see you at home."

"I'll follow you."

Julianna opened the door of her car and stopped. "Wait, J.R.!"

J.R. turned around and walked back to the car. "Yeah?"

"Why are you even here?"

"Mama told me to come find out why you were late. She had a bad feeling."

"Oh."

"Was she right?"

Julianna side-stepped the question. "I was already leaving anyway, but I'm glad you came. See you at home." She slid into the driver's seat and pulled on her seatbelt. Maneuvering out of the parking lot, she turned on her signal and checked for traffic. She could see J.R.'s lights right behind her and just knowing he came to check on her calmed her mind. She couldn't make sense of the drama going on at work, but the suspension would allow her to help J.R. on Mama's house project. There had to be a silver lining in this somewhere.

The trip home wasn't nearly long enough to work off the anger she felt from being accused of stealing out of her drawer. After parking her car in front of the garage, she waited while J.R. pulled up beside her.

"Whatever it is," he said, picking up her hand again, as they headed for the back door, "we'll work it out together."

"Thanks."

Hanging up their coats in the mudroom, J.R. allowed Julianna to enter the kitchen first, where Mama was stirring a pot on the stove.

"Spaghetti tonight," she said without even a "hello." "Get washed up and we'll eat right away."

"I'll only be a minute, Mama." Julianna hurried to the downstairs bathroom.

Spaghetti was one of Julianna's favorite dinners, and she wondered if Mama fixed it because she knew Julianna needed extra attention tonight. Sitting at the table she filled Mama and J.R. in on what happened just before she was supposed to leave.

After counting her drawer three times, per store policy, she asked John to count her drawer while she watched. Each time, the drawer was $273.85 short. Julianna couldn't believe it. It didn't make any sense. If someone was going to take money from her drawer, wouldn't they take more, or at least take an even amount?

She was the only one with a key besides management, and she locked her drawer in the office during lunch. Only when she took a break did she leave it at the register, and even then, it was locked, and she was usually nearby. She was checking on housing in the back room this morning, though, and Bobby was working out front. She hadn't had a chance to ask Bobby if he noticed anyone hanging around her station. But the drawer lock hadn't been tampered with and nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

When she mentioned that the store security cameras had been on the fritz that day, J.R. moaned.

"What are the odds of that happening?"

"I'm sure it's not a coincidence," Mama said. "It sounds as though you've been set up."

"For two hundred seventy-three dollars and eighty-five cents? That's crazy."

"What are they going to do now?" asked J.R.

"John said I'm suspended for a week until they investigate. Without pay."

"Eat up, you two," Mama said. "We're expecting company in a few minutes."

"Who?" asked Julianna.

"The police."

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

T here were times when J.R. was certain his mama had second sight, ESP, or whatever people called it these days. She just said she got feelings and followed through with them. This was obviously one of those times. Before the dishes were completely done, the doorbell rang.

With the furniture in disarray and boxes all over the place, J.R. quickly turned the sofa around in the living room so they could sit and face each other. Captain Tom Glenn and his deputy, Sergeant Robert Clarke, each took a seat. Mama sat down in her recliner and J.R. and Julianna sat side by side on chairs he brought in from the kitchen. J.R. remembered Captain Glenn from when they did the D.A.R.E. presentations at school. His easy-going manner brought calm to their tense situation.

Captain Glenn smiled at Sharon and asked, "Why are we here tonight, Sharon?"

"Julianna needs your help, Tom."

Tom turned toward Julianna. "How can I help you, young lady?"

J.R. reached for Junior's hand. It seemed like he'd been holding it a lot lately. Not that he minded. He wanted her to know he was here for her.

"I was accused of stealing money from my drawer at the store today." J.R. hoped Tom didn't hear the tremor in Junior's voice.

"How much money was missing?"

"Two hundred seventy-three dollars and eighty-five cents."

Tom reached into his shirt pocket and took out a notebook and pencil. Hovering the pencil over a page in the book, he asked her to repeat the number. She did. "That's an odd amount," he said.

"That what I thought," she agreed. When she explained about the security cameras not being reliable, he sat up a little straighter.

"Any witnesses?" Tom asked.

"None that came forward."

"You don't have any way to prove someone else got into your drawer?"

"I don't. I'm worried if they can't find out who took the money, they'll fire me, or have me arrested."

Tom looked over at his deputy before speaking. "You won't be arrested unless they have proof. The faulty cameras work for you as much as they work against you. I can't control their actions if they decide to let you go, but they may dock your pay for the amount that's missing. What did Mr. Taylor say about it?"

"He wasn't there and his new assistant manager, John Wells, has only been on the job for a week or two. He doesn't really know what to do."

"Did he try to contact Mr. Taylor?"

"Oh, yes, I watched him try to phone him right there in the office. I think he tried his home phone and his cell phone, but they both went to voice mail."

"OK. Well, don't worry about it tonight. I'm glad you talked to us first, though. It looks better for your side." He put his hand up to prevent Julianna from talking. "Calling us in now, before the store does is a good move."

"What do we do now?" J.R. asked.

"Just sit tight." Tom looked around the room. "It looks like you've got your hands full here anyway."

Mama laughed.

Tom and Sgt. Clarke stood and said their good-byes.

When the front door closed, J.R. turned back to his favorite women.

"I think you're a genius, Mama. Whoever is trying to get Junior in trouble didn't count on her having you in her corner."

Sharon smiled and said to Julianna, "I'm sorry you won't be getting a paid vacation, but at least you can help with the house again."

"I guess so," she said sadly.

J.R. pulled her toward him. "Let's go out and get some ice cream. I think we all need cheering up. You too, Mama."

The atmosphere was somber as Julianna, J.R., and Mama made their way into Cooper Springs' one and only ice cream parlor. Passing a group of teenagers at the big table, and a few tables with couples, they took a booth in the back. The brightly colored benches, crisp white tables with chrome edges, and occasional laughter from the other patrons couldn't dispel the melancholy of their group.

Once their order was placed, J.R. looked over at Julianna and wished he could take away all her hurt and confusion. It seemed like the world was forever at odds with Juliann Brown. She couldn't seem to get a break. From the time he had met her when she walked into his fifth-grade classroom, she had struggled not only to fit in, but to find her way to success.

He didn't suppose having the nickname of J.R. was helpful and since most elementary teachers sat students in alphabetical order, they always ended up sitting next to each other. J.R. Bentley and J.R. Brown. His ten-year old brain hadn't understood the power of how his teasing could cement her predisposition for sadness because she already came from a stressful situation.

For at least three years, he hadn't known that she lived in foster care with people who cared more about their monthly check from the state than they cared for her. Then senior year, when they finally admitted to having feelings for each other and their relationship moved into something more, Stacy had to step in and really mess things up. He wondered how many other things Stacy ruined after he left. Junior's attitude around her left no doubt Stacy caused a heap of trouble.

When their ice cream arrived, they all dug in, still each in their own thoughts and not talking much.

"Well," Mama said, after finishing off her single scoop of maple nut ice cream, "that was tasty, but I don't think it helped much, J.R."

"Sorry, Mama," he said, "I wanted to get away from the mess in the house and thought maybe we could work on a game plan."

"A game plan?" Julianna repeated. "What do you mean?"

J.R.'s hand rested on Junior's arm. "I keep telling you, Junior. You're not alone anymore. Mama and I are here for you. I'll even bet there are others in town and at church who are here for you too."

"And the Savior's here for you, Julianna," Mama said, holding her hand over her heart. "He never leaves you if you want Him here."

"I appreciate what you're trying to say, both of you. But I don't know what to do. I can't imagine how any of this is happening and every time I think about it, it gives me a headache."

"Look, we don't need to worry about that now," J.R. said firmly. "Let's focus on the house. Now that you have the time to help me, we'll go at it like gang busters and get as much done as we possibly can."

"I suppose that is the silver lining. I'll get to work on the house again."

Mama quietly clapped her hands together. "This could be a real blessing in disguise."

The next day dawned sunny, and Julianna wanted to take advantage of every moment. She pulled on her work jeans and a bright pink tank top. Adding an old Cooper Springs High School sweatshirt, she pulled her long dark curls into a high ponytail and slipped into a pair of old sneakers. A quick wash of her face and brush of her teeth and she was out the door of the old trailer, headed to the kitchen.

The smell of sausage and eggs filled the air and she took a deep breath. Mama was up and cooking breakfast. Smiling big with a "good morning" on her lips, she stopped short when she saw it was J.R. cooking and not Mama.

"Oh."

J.R. turned away from the stove. "Good morning to you too."

"Good morning. Is Mama okay?"

"Sure, she's taking a bath while I get breakfast ready." Julianna didn't miss his eyes looking her up and down and she felt a little self-conscious with her old work clothes. "You look like you're ready to attack our project head on."

"What's on the agenda for today?"

"Well, the weather looks like it's cooperating for the moment. I'd like to get the rest of the chipped paint sanded off the outside and see if we can paint this baby."

"Don't you want to put the new windows in first?"

"Normally, yes, but we've got to work with the weather. We can put new windows in when it's raining if we have to, but we can't paint in the rain."

"Sounds good to me. I haven't worked with a paint sprayer before, but you tell me what to do, and I'll do it."

The smile on J.R.'s face got bigger. He turned the burners off on the stove and walked right up to Julianna. "If I tell you to marry me," he whispered, "would you?"

Julianna pushed him away and laughed carefully. "Now J.R., you know it doesn't work that way."

"It could," he said.

"Well it doesn't," she said more firmly and walked over to the table to sit down.

J.R. chuckled. "Can't blame a guy for trying."

Mama walked in at that moment. "Trying to do what, J.R.?"

Julianna froze. J.R. looked at her intensely and seemed to be making a decision before turning to address Mama. "Trying to talk Junior into marrying me."

Mama looked between the two of them with a thoughtful expression on her face. "Well, well. When you two decide to get along, you take it quite seriously, don't you?"

"But I said no," Julianna interjected. Of all the people in the world, Mama would understand why she couldn't marry J.R.

"And I told her I'd keep trying," J.R. added.

"Is that your final answer, Julianna?" Mama asked.

"I...I'm not sure. Maybe."

Mama's eyes softened, and J.R. was grinning again.

"Well, you think on it long and hard, girl," Mama said. "Don't let the past dictate your future. When you see happiness within your grasp, you've got to grab on tight and don't let go."

Julianna didn't like the attention. She certainly wasn't going to change her mind here and now in front of Mama and before breakfast. "Let's eat."

Their earlier exchange lightened the mood better than the ice cream the evening before and although Julianna was toying with the idea of accepting J.R.'s offer, she would have to come clean about senior year and she didn't think she was up for it. With all the weird stuff happening at Charlie's and her living situation still uncertain, she had enough on her plate for now. Maybe once the house project was done and Mama was moved into her retirement home, she could spend some time focusing on J.R. and where their relationship might go.

If ever there was a time for Julianna to have Mama's gift of second sight, or whatever it was she had, this was it. Caught between enjoying the time she had to help J.R. paint the outside of Mama's house and wondering what in the world was going on at work, she felt like her brain was going to explode.

J.R. managed to mix hard work with lighthearted flirting and the day sped by. Soon the house had been scraped, sanded, and repainted a soft butter yellow, the perfect complement to the glorious fall leaves surrounding the property; yellows, golds, and reds mixed with the evergreens of the Douglas fir. It was a start, anyway. By dinner time, the house glowed with new paint and they were planning their strategy for installing the windows.

"Hey," J.R. said, "there's a fifty percent chance of rain tomorrow, but if the weather decides to cooperate, we can do the windows. We'll have to paint the white trim by hand, but it should go fairly quickly. We can always attach the shutters later."

"And if the weather doesn't cooperate?" asked Julianna with a smile.

"I guess we'll do it in the rain."

They laughed together, and Julianna felt some of the burden of both the past and the present lift from her shoulders. This not being alone thing was pretty cool. After cleaning out the rented paint sprayer and returning it to the hardware store, dusk had fallen, and they were both hungry.

Mama pulled out all the stops that night for dinner, making her famous Parmesan Chicken and homemade rolls. Julianna wondered if Mama would part with her recipes when she moved and leave them to her. Even without the personalized training, just having the recipes would be a step in the right direction.

The right direction.

Julianna still wasn't sure which way that was, but the more time she spent with J.R., the more she wanted her direction to follow his. Spending extra time that night studying forgiveness in the scriptures, Julianna had a little more hope that J.R. could handle what she hadn't yet told him and that maybe—maybe—they had a future together. She smiled when she thought about Mama's advice about not letting her past dictate her future. Hold onto happiness. Isn't that what she said? Julianna closed her scriptures and said a heartfelt prayer for guidance, direction, and maybe some answers too.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

J. R. pulled the last nail from the window frame on the last old window upstairs. Easing the old frame out of its sixty-plus-year resting place, he handed it through the opening to Junior. She carefully set it down and lifted the new window to be installed. J.R. admired her strength and gumption. Not many women he knew would be up for such a strenuous project. Her help had been invaluable, and they had accomplished much more than he had expected.

He had thrown out the supposed schedule a week ago and was simply grateful for forward motion. What to do about his business in Portland had yet to be decided. Asking Junior to marry him wasn't in his original game plan, to say the least, but every day spent with her convinced him more that she had to be a part of his life. Maybe it was time to leave Portland behind and make Cooper Springs his home once again?

A little checking on the Internet late the night before proved to him there was enough going on here and in the surrounding communities to keep him busy. And if that didn't turn out to be enough, bigger towns were fairly close by.

"You got it?" asked Julianna, as she balanced the new window in the open space.

"Hang on to it until I get the first couple of screws in." J.R. picked up the cordless drill and drove two screws into the holes in the flange surrounding the window. The old trim that he had carefully removed before they painted the siding would cover the flange and once it was painted the soft white Mama had chosen, and they added the shutters, the outside of the house would look brand new. Of course, there was still the back deck, the roof, and the new front door, along with all the interior left to do. J.R. sighed and reminded himself that renovating a house was like eating elephant; you could only do it one bite at a time.

"That's it," he said when the last screw was in place.

"I'll take the old window down to the garage," Julianna said through the glass, hefting the window into a tight grasp and heading for the stairs. "Meet you there."

J.R. allowed the drill to slide down the side of the ladder until it rested on the ground before he let go of the cord. He stepped down the ladder and wrapped up his tools. The garage had been cleared to make room for the boxes and most of the furniture from the first floor, along with the new appliances. They parked the wheelers behind Julianna's trailer and stuffed all the old equipment to the back of the garage to get everything to fit. Stacking the old windows along the side of the garage wall, he took pictures with his phone and planned to post them on Craigslist. Old windows were popular with crafters, especially in the fall. He decided to keep one and make a frame for Mama for her new apartment with family photos in it as a memento of her life here.

Julianna trudged out the back door, and J.R. ran up to her to give her a break. "Here," he said, "let me take it from here."

"Thanks. They're heavier than I thought."

"But you did a great job helping today. And that deserves a reward."

Julianna's eyes sparkled. "What kind of reward do I get?" she asked.

"Well, it's a little generic, but I think you'll like it. Come over here." He set the old window against the wall and took her to the back of the garage, out of sight of the house. "Mama may have enjoyed the little kiss I gave you the other day, but we don't need to advertise."

Julianna reached behind his neck and linked her fingers. "Generic, huh?"

"Only in the sense that it can be given multiple ways." He put on his best serious face.

"Really. Care to demonstrate?" Her eyes sparkled, but she responded to his solemnity.

"I would love to." He started with a short peck on her cheek. "Something like this is for children and grandmothers, or people you don't care that much about."

Julianna smiled and nodded. "Should I be taking notes?"

J.R.ignored her comment and moved to her forehead,  placing a gentle kiss there. "Something like this is for friends that you want to be more but aren't yet."

"I see."

"Then there's real kisses, but they're pretty across the board too."

"Oh, how?" she said, furrowing her brows.

"Well, there's the "I'm late but I need to kiss you good-bye one." J.R. pressed his lips against hers but let go immediately.

Julianna smiled. "I'm liking this game."

J.R. let a small smile slip out. "Then there's others," he said, his voice turning husky and seductive. "Like this," he said as he tenderly kissed her temple and worked his way down her cheek to just below her ear. "And this." Gently he nudged her chin to give him better access to her neck as he scaled short sweet kisses along her jaw until he reached the corner of her mouth. "But the best kind are these."

When he took her mouth this time, he indulged in a lingering onslaught that parted her lips and invited her to join in completely. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pushed her lightly against the back wall of the garage. Her response threatened to bring J.R.'s heart to bursting as he soaked her in and made promises without words. Warmth invaded his soul, and he drew Julianna closer until he could feel the racing of her heart through his shirt. The play of her hands in his hair sent radical tingles shimmering down his spine and a low moan escaped his throat. Pulling away reluctantly, he returned to her neck and slowly let her go. "Thanks for all your help today."

Julianna clung to his arms as though it was the only thing holding her up. She lazily opened her eyes and the dreamy expression in them pierced J.R.'s heart. He pulled her back into a warm embrace and simply held her until the chill in the evening air started to infiltrate his t-shirt.

"Maybe we should go see what Mama has prepared for dinner. It's getting kind of late. "

"Maybe you should kiss me like that every day," Julianna said with sly smile.

"I could do that. Every day. Forever. Just say the word."

Arm in arm, they headed for the back door. Never had anything felt so right.

Getting away from the store for a few days, Julianna felt rejuvenated or maybe it was J.R.'s kisses. Even though she still felt the weight of an unspoken accusation hanging over her head, being able to help on the house project, not having to leave early in the morning, and taking time to talk with Mama and J.R. as long as she wanted were blessings she could cherish. The silence from the store unnerved her a little, but whenever it did, she reminded herself she wasn't alone, and she wasn't guilty. Innocence was a strong testimony. Reliving J.R.'s kisses from the day they installed the windows caused waves of heat to tear through her body. She couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like to be married to him and be with him all the time.

With J.R.'s business firmly rooted in Portland, she contemplated her limited visits there. They hadn't been pleasant, and she dreaded the idea that she would have to figure out how to deal with ridiculous traffic and crowds of people. She wondered if she could talk J.R. into settling in one of the more outlying areas so she didn't have to go into the city.

Thoughts of suburban cottages, little kids running around, and taking care of J.R. swirled in her mind while they replaced the window trim all around. Julianna happily dragged her paint bucket up the extension ladder to apply the trim color on the second floor. The weather had held off, making liars out of the local weathermen, and the outside of the house was looking wonderful. She wondered if J.R. and Mama would change their mind about selling. It would be a shame to go to all this work and not live here. Her daydreams did an about face and she could envision them living in the house together. Julianna floated away in her thoughts while she painted.

"Hey Junior," J.R. called from below. "When you get done with the last window, come find me. I have an idea I want to discuss with you."

"Sure," she replied. "It'll be a minute."

"Whenever you're done." J.R. disappeared around the corner of the house and Julianna wondered what he needed help with.

Twenty minutes later, with the last window finished, she stepped off the ladder, set down her brush and can of paint, and stepped back to admire her work.

Stepping up from behind, J.R. wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck. "You do great work," he whispered.

Julianna smiled. "You do too."

"What would you think about an excursion tomorrow?"

"Where?"

"I need to run into Portland and check on a couple jobs. I thought maybe you and Mama would like to get out for a while. We can go to my favorite restaurant for lunch and maybe even stop for dinner on the way back. If you like, I can drop you and Mama off at a mall or shopping center while I check on my subs."

"I'd like to see your projects. Could we stay with you instead? We'd keep out of your way."

"You could never be in my way. I would love to show you what I'm working on."

"Sounds like a plan, Stan."

"We'll have to leave really early."

"I can do early, especially if I can snuggle with you all the way there." Her heart did a little dance at the prospect.

J.R. winked. "Good. Let me help you clean up and we'll stop for today. Maybe we can check out new faucets for the kitchen and bathroom while we're in the city."

"We should check Mama's list. I'll bet there's more we could get in one trip and save ourselves lots of little trips here in town."

"Great idea." J.R. took her paint brush, and she followed him to the hose bib. Making sure the paint lid was secure on the gallon can, Julianna stretched her shoulders and arms. She was exhausted, but it was good, honest hard work and she loved it.

Once the painting supplies were put away and the ladder was safely lying against the garage wall, they went inside.

More aromatic scents wafted from the kitchen. Julianna figured Mama was in her element, cooking for them every night. She seemed to enjoy taking out old recipes and sprucing them up with this and that. One of these days, Julianna swore she was going to learn how to cook like Mama.

Pleasant conversation and tasty food blessed their evening. Mama was excited about how nice the outside was looking.

"Wait until you see it with brand new back deck. You'll think it's a brand-new house," J.R. said.

"And when the trees leaf out and the flowers bloom in the spring, it will look like a picture postcard," added Julianna.

Mama paused. "Except I won't live here then," she said, her voice sadder than any other time she talked about the retirement home.

"But you'll be able to enjoy the fact that someone is loving all the updates to the house, right?" Julianna held her breath waiting for Mama to respond. She didn't mean to talk about a time when Mama wouldn't be here. She'd been engrossed in her daydreams; she didn't think before talking. "I'm sorry Mama, I didn't think."

Mama looked at Julianna with bright eyes. "It's okay, honey. I understand. Time marches on and...well, it is what it is."

Julianna heard J.R. release his breath and wondered if he had been concerned about Mama's feelings now that the house was shaping up. When the new kitchen finished off the renovation and the house felt revitalized, would she be able to leave it all behind? Maybe it would have been better if they had moved her out and then done the updates. Feeling bad for bringing the energy at the table down, she was glad for their trip to Portland tomorrow. Perhaps they all needed to get away.

Julianna jumped up to do the dishes. J.R. cleared the table and put away the leftover food. Mama said she was going to watch her shows in the living room.

"You don't need to feel bad." J.R.'s whisper tickled Julianna's ear as he brought the dirty dishes to the sink.

Julianna turned on the hot water to rinse the dishes. "I know. But I could have been more sensitive. I didn't need to rub it in that she won't be here when the world wakes up from winter."

"She understands. This has been in the planning for a long time. In fact, it probably would have been done sooner if I had simply come back before now."

Julianna turned away from the sink to face J.R. "I'm glad you came home, you know. Mama is too."

"If you're so glad, you should marry me and prove it."

She laughed. "J.R. you can't just ask me every day to marry you."

"Why not?"

"Because...because...I don't know. You just can't. But before you go away all pouty, you should know I'm considering it."

J.R. smiled and pulled her into his arms. "I promise not to pout. Is there anything I can do to help you make up your mind?"

Julianna giggled. "You already know, and you're already doing it. Now, shoo, I need to finish cleaning up the kitchen."

She could hear him whistling all the way down the hall.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

P ortland hadn't changed in the few years since Julianna had been to the city. In the three hours they'd been there, they had spent at least one of those hours in traffic. The only bright spot in shuffling down the highway was J.R. holding her hand. They took J.R.'s truck and Julianna squeezed in the middle, cuddled next to J.R., giving Mama plenty of room next to the door. In fact, if she could sit like this in traffic all the time, she wouldn't mind at all.

The longer she spent with J.R., the less thought she gave her haunted past. Perhaps she was blowing it all out of proportion. When she was baptized, Pastor Doug said her sins were washed clean. Her faith was growing every year, and the thought that she didn't have to carry that burden any longer gave her courage to face a future with J.R. He would understand, wouldn't he? After all, he had left for college, and she'd been alone.

As they drove between the two job sites and Julianna could see what kinds of project J.R. was involved with, her respect for him grew. He had certainly done well for himself in only a few years. She was glad they came with him and she could see for herself his success in business. He introduced her and Mama to the subcontractors working on his jobs. She knew he wanted to introduce her as his fiancée, but she thought "girlfriend" had a nice ring to it. Before she knew it, they were stopping for lunch.

"Is this okay?" J.R. asked, pointing to a national chain of diners.

"Fine with me," said Julianna. "Okay with you, Mama?"

"I don't care where we eat." As Mama's enthusiasm for the trip had steadily diminished since they stopped at the first job site, Julianna's concern had increased.

"This is good," Julianna said, trying to keep everyone's spirits up. "Something for everyone's taste."

J.R. parked the truck and ran around to get Mama's door. Julianna realized it was the little things like that that added to J.R.'s attraction. Watching him help Mama to the door, she felt a wave of peace and happiness. Surely this was the direction the Lord was pointing her.

She made her decision. She would tell J.R. about the past and start planning for their future. She just needed a private moment to let him know.

Once they were seated, they ordered without delay. Mama was acting more restless all the time.

"Mama," J.R. asked, "what's wrong? Aren't you feeling well?"

"I'm not sure. I don't have any pain. I seem to be fine," she said, touching herself on her head, her arms, and her stomach. "I just can't shake this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach."

"Maybe you're just hungry," Julianna offered. "After all, breakfast was a while ago."

"Maybe that's it," she agreed. "J.R., if I don't feel better after lunch, can we head home?"

J.R. glanced at Julianna. "Sure, Mama. I've seen all I need to see today. But I thought we were going to shop for the house."

Mama closed her eyes and there was a paleness to her face. "It can wait."

It didn't take long for their lunch to arrive and everyone gave the food their full attention. When she finished eating, Mama set her fork down and excused herself to the restroom.

As soon as she left, J.R. turned to Julianna. "What do you make of that?"

"I'm not sure. She's actually been doing much better since you got home. Before that, I was worried she tired too easily and didn't have the energy she normally had to do her daily chores."

"I noticed when I first got home that she was hobbling a little. But it seemed to clear up quickly, and I hadn't thought about it again."

"I wonder if she's just sad about leaving the house behind. I really am sorry for what I said last night."

"I don't know. I've been talking to her about moving into the retirement home for a couple years."

"Yeah, but sometimes talking about something and actually doing it are very different."

"True. Maybe that's it."

"J.R.," Julianna began to tell him about her change of heart, but she stopped.

"Yeah?"

"I...I think we'd better keep a close eye on her. Maybe there's something she's not telling us." Julianna was pretty sure that wasn't true, but a little voice in her head held her back from telling him her decision now. Maybe there wasn't enough time considering Mama would be back any minute. Certain that's what it was, Julianna finished her soda and excused herself as well to the restroom.

When she passed Mama on her way to the back of the restaurant, her sallow countenance and troubled eyes put Julianna on alert. She hurried to use the restroom, then returned to the table.

"We need to leave now, J.R." Mama said, stopping Julianna from sitting down.

"You're still not feeling well?" he asked.

"I can't pin it down. I just want to go home."

Julianna helped Mama into her jacket while J.R. paid the bill. They were on the road home in minutes. J.R. took a couple back roads until it was absolutely necessary to join the stream of vehicles on the freeway. It saved some time and soon enough, they left the masses behind. The ride home was hushed. J.R. played a soft-rock radio station with the volume low; everyone lost in their own thoughts.

Julianna allowed herself a little smile when J.R. took her hand and rested it with his on his thigh. She hoped Mama would be pleased with her decision to marry J.R. If any of her comments since he got home were indicative of her feelings, Julianna felt certain they would be celebrating soon. There would be nothing to wait for. J.R. was an only child who had arrived late in his parents' life. Julianna had no family. It was just the three of them. Her mind contemplated how long it would take to put a wedding together once they made their engagement official.

As they drove through Cooper Springs, an intensity struck Julianna. She looked over at Mama, who was moving her lips, but no words could be heard. She's praying, Julianna thought and that brought her anxiety up a notch.

Turning the corner onto their road, they were stopped by a police officer and his car which was sitting sideways in the street, lights flashing. J.R. rolled down his window to speak with the officer.

"Hey Luke," he said. "What's going on?"

"Oh, hey J.R. Um...go ahead." Officer Luke Goodwin waved them on through, and J.R. maneuvered his truck around the police car.

"He didn't answer my question," J.R. muttered.

"I wonder—oh my gosh!" Julianna cried.

Rounding the bend, J.R. slammed on his brakes. The house was totally engulfed in flames!

Mama cried out as though she'd been stabbed.

J.R. felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He briefly let go of Junior's hand as he pulled alongside one of the police cars in front of the yard. Smoke billowed from every window and actual flames whipped around the roof. It looked like one of those training videos for firefighters where they burn down a partially framed house to practice their techniques. Only this wasn't a training house. This was Mama's house.

"Oh, J.R.," Mama sobbed. "I can't believe it."

"Mama," he said, "I want you to stay in the truck. I'm going to find out what's going on and how this happened."

Mama's soft whimpering tore at his heart as he slipped out of the truck. "Stay with her, okay?" he said to Julianna.

She nodded; her shock clearly reflected on her face.

J.R. closed the door and surveyed the area surrounding the house, only now registering the number of firefighters on the scene. Two large fire trucks filled the driveway. He could hear orders being shouted from behind the fire chief's truck, and J.R. headed in that direction. Once in sight of the chief, Joseph Grimes, J.R. flagged him down to get his attention.

Chief Grimes leaned away from the radio in his hand. The exasperation on his face told J.R. most of the story. "We got here as soon as we got the call, J.R."

"Can you tell what happened?"

"Not yet. We'll do a full investigation once the fire is out. In the meantime, we're trying to save the garage and the trailer in the back—Durrant! Watch that hose!"

"Is there anything we can do to help?"

"Yeah, stay out of the way." He moved slightly and pulled the radio up to his ear, his focus once again on the inferno before them.

J.R. moved back, the intense heat pricked his eyes. Thoughts assaulted his mind, burning like the raging fire in his view, and threatened to overwhelm him as he mentally questioned whether they put away all the chemicals and paint. The sheer magnitude of the blaze left him in shock, and he stumbled back, breathing heavily as his brain tried to register the reality of the loss. He found a spot off to the side and listened to the firefighters call back and forth as they doused the garage over and over again, keeping the flames at bay. The crackle and roar from the burning timber reverberated in his chest.

The roof of the house collapsed, and he heard men yelling, as if he was watching a police drama on television. A dullness wrapped itself around his soul, and he didn't feel the tears that streamed down his face.

Mama.

He needed to go to her. Drawing on whatever energy he had left that hadn't been sucked away by the awful sight before him, he made his way back to the truck. He couldn't look the women in the eye. He watched Julianna slip from the truck, the shock still piercing her eyes, and instinctively, they embraced. Her arms held him tight as his spirit struggled for the meaning of such devastation.

"I need to go to Mama," he whispered.

"Of course."

"Has she said anything?"

"Not yet. Do they know what happened?"

"No. They'll investigate when the fire's out."

"She's trying to be brave, but I think she's on the edge of screaming."

"Understandable, I guess." J.R. walked around to the passenger door and opened it. "Mama," he said, "I'm so sorry."

Another portion of the roof caved in and all three of them jumped. More yelling and more running around to the back of the blackened house.

Mama's eyes were dry now, but the vacant look that remained scared J.R. more than tears. "The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away," she mumbled.

"I don't think the Lord did this, Mama."

"I was too greedy," she said.

"That doesn't make any sense, Mama. What are you talking about?"

"I'm ashamed to say I was hoping you would stay here, and we could keep the house and you and Julianna would get married and have kids and we could live in the house as one big happy family."

"That's not being greedy, Mama. The thought had occurred to me, too."

"Well, it can't happen now."

Her deflated tone held the tiniest amount of despair and J.R. felt a surge of power run through his body. "They're trying to save the garage and the trailer."

"I guess that's something."

"The new appliances are in the garage and all the boxes we took out of the house are there too."

"The boxes?"

"Remember when I told you to pack up all your knickknacks and favorite things because we needed them out of the way for the renovation?"

"I remember."

"I put all those boxes in the garage."

"When?"

"Earlier this week."

"And they're saving the garage?"

"It looks like it. Stuff may be pretty wet, but it won't be burned up."

"All those boxes?"

"Yes. I think so." J.R. didn't know if she was really hearing what he said. He decided to wait until the fire was out and they could assess the total damage before he counted on anything being saved. Still, if the garage survived, all was not lost. He glanced through the truck windows and saw Julianna hugging herself as tears rolled down her face. What would she do now? Would she stay and help figure it all out? Would she leave? His confidence that she was warming up to the idea of them being together waned a little. Showing her his projects today was supposed to be another weight on his side of the scale. He wanted to prove to her he could support her and provide for a family. But would she stick around long enough for them to regroup?

"Mama, we need to get you somewhere else. Who can we call to help us?"

As if he conjured them up with his question, J.R. noticed two women standing on the edge of the road, looking up at the fire, and recognized them from church. The sun would be down soon, and he wanted to get Mama away from this nightmare before darkness intensified the image. Talking to the two ladies, he made arrangements for Mama to go with them until he could figure out what they were going to do for the night.

Julianna came up beside him and placed her hand in his. That simple act meant the world to him. Mama got into the car with the ladies from church. He shook his head and wondered why he couldn't remember their names, watching as they drove away. Hopefully it would come to him before he had to find her.

"Do you know who Mama left with?" he asked Junior.

"Mm hmm," she responded.

He sighed. Facing the fire, they silently stood side by side, holding hands, and witnessed the final moments before the flames disappeared and only putrid smoke remained.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

N ews of the fire spread throughout the town, and Mama was inundated with offers for help. Every time she turned around, people stopped by or called. Expressions of remorse, encouragement, and shared tears swamped the three of them throughout the next week.

Julianna hadn't given a thought to her job at the store when she was sifting through the mess at the house, but Brad had stopped by to say they would keep her position open and whenever she was ready, she could come back. The questions about his strange behavior and the missing money went unanswered for now. But Julianna knew her place was beside Mama and J.R., figuring out what their next step would be.

The garage and everything in it had been saved. The trailer had been choked with smoke, but Julianna's belongings survived. They set up a receiving station in the garage, and day after day, people dropped by with donations of household goods and clothing. Mama didn't want everything but was too polite to refuse any gift. Julianna saw months of sorting ahead of her as Mama decided what she would keep and what she might pay forward.

J.R. pulled up with a bag of take-out food and motioned to her and Mama to meet him in the back of the remnants of the house. The charcoal blackened timbers that didn't completely burn stood as somber sentinels while the fire department worked on their investigation behind the yellow police tape.

"I brought lunch," he said as they met him in the back. Henry had brought over a picnic table and although the days were chilly, it was more comfortable than sitting in the trailer. The trailer had become their headquarters, but whenever the sun shined, they sat outside instead.

"I'm starving." Mama sat down, setting her notebook down on the table. They had stopped at the store and picked up a spiral notebook and a package of pens. Mama made notes all day to keep track of what they found, what they received, and what they still needed. She had contacted her insurance company and was waiting to hear back from the fire department. Once they knew the cause of the fire, the insurance company would complete the claim. J.R. was helping to figure out the cost of rebuilding.

"I'm hungry too," said Julianna. "What did you bring?"

"Burritos from Pedro's."

"Yum."

He smiled at her. There hadn't been a lot of smiling since they arrived on the scene of the house going up in smoke, but every evening they worked on a plan to see what was possible and what they still had to figure out.

"Did you talk to the excavator?" Mama asked.

Julianna was pretty sure once the debris had been cleared away things would be looking up.

"I did, but we need to wait on the fire department and their determination. I don't want to spend any money until we have the settlement from the insurance company."

"So, we wait." Mama's reticent attitude couldn't be called positive, but she hadn't gone to pieces. Julianna was grateful for even that much.

"Chief Grimes said they should have their report done today. We have an appointment to meet with him at the fire station this afternoon. He asked us all to come."

As ominous as that sounded, Julianna was glad to be included. She would much rather get the information first-hand than wait for J.R. and Mama to tell her. If J.R. was ready to start clearing the remains of the fire away, she should probably start thinking about getting back to work at the store. They hadn't bugged her about returning, but she knew she had to start thinking that direction before long.

Julianna looked more closely at J.R. and wondered for the millionth time why he hadn't kissed her or held her or even really touched her since the fire. Did he worry it was her fault? If it was, even inadvertently, would he tell her to get lost?

They needed time alone together, and the aftermath of the fire had consumed every waking moment. Doubts and uncertainty plagued her days and infiltrated her dreams at night as they all waited for the results of the investigation.

Walking into the fire station later that afternoon, Julianna was grateful for J.R.'s support. He was holding her hand again, and Julianna had the impression that his distress was entirely about the fire and not necessarily about her. Chief Grimes met them when they entered and ushered them to a make-shift conference room. He held a file in his hands.

"Thanks for coming in," he began. "I'm sorry we couldn't do more to save the house. It burned surprisingly quickly. And, according to the report, it had been burning for a while before anyone noticed the smoke. You folks were in Portland that day, is that right?"

J.R. answered for them all. "Yes, sir. I had business in the city and I took Mama and Jun...Julianna with me to make a few purchases for the house. But at lunch Mama felt sick, and we skipped the shopping trip. We came directly home."

"I'm not sure it would have made a difference if you had been home, other than maybe putting one of you in danger."

Julianna breathed a sigh of relief. The worry from wondering whether their untimely trip was partially to blame had been gnawing at her for a couple days.

Chief Grimes continued, "The investigators concluded that the fire started in the basement and determined that a hungry mouse shorted out old, faulty wiring. The wiring was near the dryer vent and lint in the venting system caught fire easily. Once there, it quickly spread to the old timber of the house and combined with the newly painted walls and varnished floors, the fire escalated faster than normal."

"All our work on the house just made it easier for it to burn?" Julianna asked.

"Unfortunately, that's true."

"But it was an accident," Mama clarified.

"Absolutely. No foul play. No reason to believe it was anything but an accident."

J.R. squeezed Julianna's hand, and she squeezed back. "Is there anything else we need to know or do?"

"I'll have a copy of the report available for you in a minute. Your insurance company will need it for your claim to go through."

"Thanks. We'll wait outside, if that's okay."

The chief nodded and stood, "I'll get that copy made and be right out."

J.R. led their short parade to the front of the station house.

It didn't take any time for the chief to bring the report out, and everyone climbed back into the truck.

"Well," J.R. said, "that's a relief."

"Were you worried that someone had started the fire on purpose?" Mama asked.

"A little," he replied.

Julianna held her breath. Could he have suspected her after all?

"Who?" Mama asked.

"I shouldn't say," he said faintly, "but I guess I kind of considered that maybe Stacy could have had something to do with it."

His hesitation was obvious, but Julianna didn't understand why he would suspect her. "But why?" she asked.

"Just because she was acting all clingy when she was here that one day, and I know she's harboring a grudge against you, Julianna. I thought maybe she figured if the house caught on fire you would get blamed, like you did at work, or that if the house project was removed, I would go home, and we would be separated again. She doesn't have a clue."

Hearing him say an event like a catastrophic fire wouldn't tear them apart gave her a renewed hope for the future. "I'm glad it wasn't her. I don't like her, but I don't want to think she was capable of something that dangerous."

Mama grunted but didn't say anything.

"Let's go down to Connie's diner and get an early dinner. Then we can figure out our next step."

Mama agreed, and Julianna nodded. Time to put together a new plan.

While J.R. and Sharon put their heads together planning the destiny of the burned-out farmhouse, Julianna worked on her own agenda. A week after the fire inspection report was released, Brad Taylor had called and asked her to return to work. When she asked about the shortage and her suspension, he blew it off saying it would simply be a note in her file. Uneasy about the unsettled nature of the theft, she nevertheless agreed to return.

There wasn't anything she could do to help Mama and J.R. now. J.R. had permission from the insurance company to begin the clean-up of the site and a large dumpster now sat in the middle of the driveway, blocking the path to the garage, where everything that had survived was now being stored.

Bobby's huge grin when she walked in the following day went a long way to lifting her spirits.

"Hey, Bobby," she said, answering his smile with one of her own.

"I'm really glad you're back, Julianna," Bobby said, his voice low enough that John, who Julianna could see roaming the aisles, might not overhear.

"What's been going on?" she asked.

Bobby talked out of the side of his mouth, and Julianna almost choked on the humorous vision.

"Well, Mr. Taylor has had an interesting visitor the last few days. One Stacy Grant." Bobby let Stacy's name hang in the air while Julianna thought about the implications.

"Do you know why she was here?"

Bobby snickered. "You mean, other than giving Mr. Taylor a lap dance in his office?"

"No! Really?" Julianna wouldn't put anything past Stacy, but she thought Brad was a happily married man. Leave it to Stacy to continue her efforts to corrupt the entire male population of Cooper Springs.

"I can't say for sure, because he pulled the blinds, but with all the grunting coming from the other side of the wall, I didn't have to use much imagination."

"The plot thickens, eh?" Julianna said as she put on her apron and headed for the back to get her keys and cash drawer. "See you around, Bobby."

Brad was in his office, head down and a frown creasing his forehead when Julianna knocked on the door. "Come in," he said without looking up.

Julianna stood in the doorway, waiting for him to acknowledge her. When he still didn't look up, she cleared her throat.

"Oh, Julianna, you're here." He leaned back in his chair and it was all Julianna could do not to picture Stacy sharing the space...affectionately.

"I need my keys and cash drawer," she said. It seemed the time had passed for her to confront Brad about John and the whole lie about his mother's funeral. In fact, she thought, if he had been seeing Stacy on the sly, it might cause more problems to bring it up.

Brad shot out of his chair and hurried to the safe, where the cash drawers were stored overnight. Putting his back to her, as though Julianna didn't know the combination was his birthday, he opened the safe, and she pulled out her drawer.

"I'll just count it out to make sure there isn't any question as to how much I'm starting with this morning," Julianna said.

Brad nodded and stood with his hands folded in front of his pudgy stomach while Julianna quickly counted out the twenties, tens, fives, ones, and change in her drawer. Verifying the total on her ticket, she initialed it, and Brad initialed beside her.

Taking her drawer straight to her station, she logged into the register and set herself up for the day. Throughout the morning, well-wishers came to her with requests for ways they could help Sharon and J.R. With so many offers, Julianna sent a quick text to J.R. and asked him what Sharon would think of a donation box at the store for people who wanted to help her rebuild.

A few minutes later, he texted her that Mama would have a hissy fit if she saw a donation box with her name on it at the grocery store. How could Julianna think Mama would approve of such a thing? Julianna laughed, imagining the conversation she missed out on. She sent back a "thumbs up" emoji and went back to work, letting people know that Mama was going to be fine and the insurance money would be enough for her to rebuild.

When she got home that evening, Sharon and J.R. were sitting at the picnic table with Sharon's notebook open.

"Hi, Mama," she said as she came around the crispy backside of the house. "Hi, J.R."

The two nodded but didn't look up from the notebook.

Julianna sat down beside J.R. "What's going on?"

"Julianna Rosalee Brown," Sharon began and instantly Julianna was on guard. Mama rarely used her middle name. "Why in the world would you think that I would want a donation box at the grocery store?"

Indignation poured from Sharon's face, and Julianna worked hard to keep a straight face. "Mama, people want to help. They don't know what you need. They love you and respect you. They're not trying to offend you."

"Well, there are a lot of ways to help that don't display it for the whole world to see."

"Like how?"

"Like...like the meals people have brought over."

"Which you have stock-piled in the freezer in the garage."

"I have not!"

"Wanna bet?"

"You're being impertinent. Knock it off."

"Yes, Mama." Julianna scooted closer to J.R., who had remained surprisingly silent. "I'm sorry."

J.R. put his hand over hers and squeezed. Julianna turned her hand over and pulled J.R.'s under the table and onto her lap.

"We decided to rebuild," J.R. said.

"I know. I thought that was already decided when the insurance company okayed the claim."

"Well, yes, but we're going to rebuild with a few changes. And one very important condition."

Julianna looked from J.R. to Sharon, both of whom wouldn't look her in the eye.

"And what's that condition?" A trickle of fear wiggled its way into Julianna's heart, and she worried they would ask her to move the trailer out.

"I'm not coming back," Sharon announced.

"Well, that makes perfect sense," Julianna agreed. "You were already planning to move into the retirement home. Now you don't have to worry about waiting to sell the house, and you won't have to live in the mess while it's under construction."

"I'm not moving into the retirement home," Sharon said quietly, an unusual volume for a lady who always said what was on her mind without apologies.

"Okay, I'll bite. Where are you going to live?"

Sharon squirmed a little in her seat, and Julianna couldn't remember a time in her entire life that Sharon looked so uncertain. "I'm...I'm..." she stammered.

J.R. reached across the table and put his hand on hers. Julianna could see the comfort he was sending her way. "It's okay, Mama."

A million thoughts raced through Julianna's mind as she waited for Sharon to explain. Everything from simple ailments to chronic diseases to moving to Portland to be near J.R. In a fraction of a moment she convinced herself she would move to Portland, too, and they could all live near each other. She held her breath and braced herself for the news.

"I'm getting married!"

If there was ever a time when Julianna felt like all the wind had been knocked out of her lungs and she had no way to breathe, it couldn't come close to the shock of Sharon Bentley announcing while she sat at the picnic table behind her burned down house that she was getting married.

"To who?" she managed to squeak out.

Sharon took a deep breath and sighed. "To Henry."

CHAPTER TWENTY

O nce he had gotten over the initial shock—much like Julianna's—of his mother remarrying, J.R. couldn't wish for anything better. Henry Johnson had been a cantankerous old geezer for as long as he could remember, but whenever he and Junior wanted to ride his trails, he always said yes. And once he got over the initial surprise, he also remembered numerous times when Mama took him treats; sweet breads, cupcakes, cookies and such, all in the name of being a good neighbor. The fact that Henry's place was a few miles down the road never entered J.R.'s mind. Growing up, Mama was always baking for a neighbor. Too bad she couldn't receive help as graciously.

"We're all going over to Henry's for dinner," Sharon was saying to Julianna. "He's cooking for us and wants to talk about the wedding."

"The wedding." J.R. held back a sigh. It was his and Julianna's wedding he wanted to talk about, but since the fire, he hadn't had any time to work on changing her mind.

Half an hour later, with Sharon leading their small processional up Henry's front porch, he almost laughed when the door flew open. J.R. nearly didn't recognize the man. He wasn't sure he had ever seen Henry smile before, and this smile covered his entire face. Equally disconcerting was the matching smile on his mother's face.

Henry invited them in, and J.R. took a seat with Junior across from Henry and Mama. An awkward silence descended on the room until Henry popped up and announced that dinner was ready and to please come sit at the dining table. Henry had lived in his cabin a long time and the worn furniture and threadbare rugs reminded J.R. of the condition of his mother's place, well, before the fire. Open beams and paneled walls lent themselves to the rustic decor. The dining room table with its mismatched chairs offered a place for everyone. J.R. couldn't get over the fine china on the table, completely contradicting the vibe of the entire house.

As if Henry read his mind, he said, "I got out the good china, Sharon. It was my mother's. I'm not sure when I used it last."

Sharon smiled again, and patted Henry's hand, "Thank you, Henry. It's lovely."

"Nothing but the best for my fiancée," he said and J.R. thought if Henry had a vest, the buttons would be popping.

"Henry, this is beautiful," Julianna joined in.

Henry nodded and scooted behind the counter that separated the kitchen from the dining room to retrieve their dinner.

"Let me help, Henry," Sharon wiggled into the small space and brought a kettle of chili to the table.

Henry followed with cornbread fresh from the oven. "It's not fancy, like the things you make, sweetheart, but I think it turned out okay."

J.R. cringed to hear Henry call his mother "sweetheart." This marriage would take getting used to. In a way, he'd love to be a fly on the wall when the people at church found out on Sunday; that is, if the news of their engagement waited that long. When he and Julianna got engaged, people would probably nod, and say they figured it would happen eventually, and why did it take them so long. He let his mind wander to how he could ultimately win her over as conversation continued around him.

"Oh, hey, Henry," J.R. said, remembering his idea of fixing up Henry's house. "Have you ever thought about doing a renovation like Mama's?"

"Well, now, that's an idea to consider. Maybe after the wedding and honeymoon are over..." Henry paused to brush a finger down Sharon's cheek, "...we could talk about that."

J.R. swallowed at the romantic gesture and forced the thought of his mother's honeymoon from his head with a vengeance.

By the time everyone finished eating and Henry had referred to his mother as sweetheart a few more times, their upcoming union didn't feel as foreign. Seeing Mama grinning like a Cheshire cat only days after her house burned to the ground spoke volumes to J.R. It wasn't where you lived or how successful you became; it was the people you loved and lived with that made all the difference.

After J.R. had dropped Mama off at Mrs. Sutter's, where they'd been staying since the fire, he took Junior back to the trailer. The smell of soot and charred paint still permeated the air and the path to Junior's trailer was littered with debris. Gallons and gallons of water had soaked the grass to the point of turning it into a lake that first night, and only a narrow trail had dried enough to avoid mud-caked shoes.

"I'm happy for Mama. Leave it to her to find the soft spot in Henry Johnson, huh?" Julianna said. "Oh, that reminds me, I heard some interesting news at the store today."

"Oh?" J.R. still hadn't got used to the daily gossip mill, and he only half-listened as Julianna talked.

"Yeah, Bobby said that Brad has had the most interesting company since I've been gone. To be specific, Stacy."

J.R.'s thoughts stopped, and he gave Julianna his undivided attention. "Stacy?"

"Not only that," she said, her voice barely containing the laughter, "he swears she was giving him a lap dance in his office."

J.R. tripped in the dark and Julianna grabbed his arm to keep him from landing on his face. "Brad? He's too smart for that."

"Well, I'm not sure I'd call him smart. He did lose the store, you know. He's not the owner anymore, just the manager."

J.R. remembered Mama mentioned that. "Who's the owner now?"

"No one knows. It's probably the best kept secret in Cooper Springs."

"Hmmm."

They reached Julianna's door, and J.R. couldn't help his distraction with that kind of information. Cooper Springs had always seemed like a transparent town. Everyone knew what everyone else was doing. It was hard to keep a secret. Of course, it would be public knowledge, but maybe a company owned it, and no one knew the company.

"J.R.," Julianna said, her voice suddenly serious, "can you come in for a minute?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Junior. It's not like Mama is watching from the window anymore."

"I have something to tell you, and I don't want to sit outside. It's too cold."

J.R. nodded. "Okay."

Once inside, Julianna turned on the lights over the living area and the kitchen-dining area. Even though there was only enough room for one person at a time to move between the spaces, it didn't seem overly tight. They sat on the sofa, facing the door and J.R. wondered if they could live here after they were married until the house was finished. His heart picked up speed. Maybe Julianna was ready to accept his proposal.

Julianna pulled J.R.'s hand into her clammy one, and dread filled his spirit. Perhaps not the acceptance he hoped for.

Julianna took a deep breath and squeezed J.R.'s hand. She closed her eyes and prayed for help. The outcome of this conversation would change the course of her life and she needed to be prepared for whichever way it went.

"I told you about why I was mad at you at graduation," she began. "There was more."

J.R. turned slightly toward her and lifted his leg across the seat, resting their hands on his knee. "But you believe me when I said there was nothing between me and Stacy, right? It was you, only you. I thought prom night would have convinced you of that."

Julianna knew J.R. wanted her to look him in the eyes, but she couldn't; not yet. "Yes, I believe you. I should have asked you instead of listening to Stacy, but I thought she was my friend, and she put on an Oscar-winning performance. Besides, I was just a dumb foster kid and it was pretty hard to believe you and I really had a future."

J.R. started to speak, but she stopped him.

"Anyway, that's not what this is about."

"Okay."

"I'm going to start talking, and I want you to wait until I'm done. It's going to be hard to get this out."

"I'm listening."

"This is about the summer. You were gone. You disappeared after graduation, presumably because of what I said, and Mama told me you were hurt and upset. She would only talk to me through the screen door. She didn't even invite me inside. I cried on the porch and told her what Stacy said, but she never wavered. She defended you; said you would never cheat on me. If you didn't want to see me anymore or if you wanted to see someone else, you would do the honorable thing and break it off with me first.

"I didn't see her again until about a month later. Earl and Maureen kicked me to the curb on my birthday in July. I was roaming the streets, looking for a place to hide from the cops and sleep when Deputy Clarke walked right up to me and scolded me for being out so late. When I explained what Earl and Maureen had done, he asked me if I had any friends I could stay with. You and Stacy had been my only friends forever. I couldn't even think of another name. I mentioned Mama. He called her—at two o'clock in the morning—and she said she would take me in for the night."

Julianna pinched her lips together and threw a glance at J.R. His expression was compassionate and understanding. He squeezed her hand, and it brought her a modicum of comfort.

"I remember sleeping in your room that night and dreaming about you, wondering where you were and what you were doing. Mama had told the whole town that you had gotten a job with a big construction company in Portland and how you were getting ready to go to college. She was so proud of you.

"Well, anyway, I'd been sick and the next morning, I was sick again. I thought I had food poisoning because my stomach was upset. But only in the mornings. By afternoon, I was able to go to my job at the store and didn't think about it again, until the next day." Julianna paused to see whether J.R. would catch on without her spelling it out, but true to his word, he waited, listening.

"Mama asked me if I had the flu, and I told her what I thought. She told me to call in to work sick and took me to see a doctor in Springhill. I think she knew what was wrong all along and was trying to save face; for both of us."

Julianna knew it was time to face J.R., literally and she turned, mirroring his position, but keeping their hands clasped. "Turns out I was...pregnant."

J.R. drew in a swift breath and his eyes widened with surprise. Julianna waited, but still, he said nothing.

"Mama told me to call you. But I couldn't. At that point, I still believed Stacy, and you were on your way to college. You had a great job with a big company. If you knew, you might have come home and all that would be lost. I promised her I would, but I didn't. I told her I wouldn't saddle you with a child at eighteen, before your life had even begun; when you were still reeling from your Dad's death. She suggested adoption, and I told her I would consider it.

"But I couldn't face this town pregnant. Everyone would know you were the father, and I was certain word would get back to you. Mama was mad at me. Every morning when I would heave into the toilet, she would hold my hair and tell me how I should call you and tell you. Time after time, I picked up the phone in the kitchen to call, but I couldn't bring my fingers to punch in the numbers.

"Rather than face Mama, I left. I hitched a ride out of town and planned to disappear. I got as far as Salem. I had about twenty-five dollars and no sense. Not cents as in money. No sense in my brain."

"Hey." J.R. spoke up, but Julianna lifted her finger to silence him.

"I got a job at a diner waiting tables and one night just before closing, I confided my condition to my co-worker, Deanna. She was a little rough around the edges, but to me she was sophisticated and worldly. She knew a lot more than I did, even though we were the same age. She offered me an alternative I hadn't considered until then."

Julianna paused. She thought her heart would beat right out of her chest. She drew her hands back and rubbed them down her jeans. She could no longer look J.R. in the eyes. She stared at her lap as she continued her story.

"Deanna loaned me the money I needed to make it all go away. She told me it would wipe the slate clean. She said I didn't have to be embarrassed or try to find an adoption agency. She said I could just walk away and start my life over. She made it sound so reasonable. No pain. No lifetime of living with a mistake. Her words lulled me into believing I could do this procedure and walk away free."

Julianna crumbled over her lap, willing the tears to wait until she was done. Yet one escaped and once that one got loose, others broke the barrier. J.R. didn't move to comfort her. He didn't try to hold her hand.

"You didn't," he whispered.

Between her sobs, Julianna continued, "Deanna lied to me. In my grief, I came back to Cooper Springs and got my old job back at the grocery store. I'd only been gone a little more than a week. I told everyone that I'd been to see a friend about a job, but it didn't work out. I went to see Mama and asked her if I could live in the trailer. She questioned me until I broke down told her what I had done. She didn't speak to me but let me live here. I rode your bike to work every day. She fed me every evening, but she wouldn't talk to me. Then, after five days, she told me the only way I could continue living here was if I took her to church every Sunday. She loaned me the money to buy my old beater car, and that's when I found God and let him into my heart."

Julianna prayed that mentioning God would turn her bombshell into a conversation about what she had discovered, but one look at J.R. and hope withered away.

"You got rid of it?"

She nodded.

"You killed my baby?"

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

J. R. stood and tried to pace down the narrow opening between the front and back of the trailer. The space that only minutes before seemed roomy and big enough for two now closed in on him, and he struggled to breathe. He headed for the door.

"J.R.?"

Julianna's tear-sodden voice stabbed him in whatever was left of his shattered heart. He paused in front of the door but didn't turn around.

"Just like that?" he whispered. "No pain? No lifetime mistake? You walked away free?" He reached for the door and pushed it open. "You disgust me."

"J.R.! Wait."

J.R. turned slowly to face the woman who aborted his child, not even trying to hide the contempt in his eyes. "I can't imagine what you could say now, Julianna."

"Deanna lied. I do feel pain. I didn't walk away free." Her voice choked from her tears.

"I can't even stand to look at you." His mind spun, his world turned out of control. Too many questions. How could Mama know and not tell him? How could Julianna think that was the right thing to do? How could Julianna stand herself?

"I know it was wrong!" she cried. "I know that now. And if I could undo it, I would." Her voice grew stronger and anger took the place of the tears. "I know it was wrong and I have to live with my decision every day for the rest of my life! Every. Day. Every day I think about it. And I pray every day to God for forgiveness. I may have been washed clean at my baptism, but I haven't forgotten. I live with the pain of my actions every moment."

Fire blazed from her watery eyes, but J.R. felt dead inside. As dead as his unborn child.

"Good," he muttered as he walked past the mud and guck to his truck. He climbed inside and without remembering the drive, he found himself at the Sutter's house. The outside porch light was on, but fortunately, it was dark inside. He tiptoed through the house to the basement, where he'd been sleeping on the family room hide-a-bed since the fire.

The following morning, J.R. schooled his expression as best he could before sitting down to breakfast. A sleepless night brought about a few decisions. The first was to let go of his life in Portland. Mama may be getting married, but she was his only family, and he wanted to be close to her. He started making a mental list of what had to happen, starting with assessing what it would take to bring the two projects currently underway to completion. He estimated it would take about a month, giving him time to break the lease on his apartment and move his things into storage.

He had already contacted a local contractor to begin the final demo on Mama's house. Once it was done, and with Mama living with her new husband—still a difficult pill to swallow—he would build a small cottage for himself and sell the farmhouse.  In the meantime, he would relieve that woman—he couldn't bear to even think her name—of a place to live because he absolutely refused to allow her to stay in the trailer.

Eventually, he would explain it all to Mama and knew she would see his side. What that woman had done was inexcusable. He may have to live in the same town, but Cooper Springs was growing. And he had a feeling she wouldn't be sticking around anyway.

"Mama," he said as he poured a bowl of cereal. "I need to go back to Portland. I'm going to shut down my business there and start again here in Cooper Springs."

The elation on Sharon's face bought a small degree of comfort. "I'm glad J.R. I was hoping the two of you were finally getting serious."

J.R. swallowed the bile that leapt to his throat. Serious as a heart attack. "Don't get your hopes up, Mama. Th...Julianna said no. I'm not going to ask again."

"But I could have sworn you were wearing her down."

"Yeah, well, that's not the way I want to win a wife. Thank you very much."

"J.R.!"

"She made herself very clear last night. It's not going to happen."

"When are you leaving?"

"As soon as I finish eating. I've already got the demo scheduled for the farmhouse and there's nothing keeping me here." Once he dropped his bowl in the dishwasher, he kissed his mother on the cheek. "I'll be back for your wedding. I wouldn't miss that," he whispered.

An hour later, Cooper Springs and that woman were only a blip in J.R.'s rearview mirror. He made good time to Portland and made several calls on his way, setting up the next few weeks of work.

But J.R. met with obstacles at every turn. Subcontractors were on vacation, and the holidays prevented work from getting done. People he had worked with for years weren't answering his calls or texts, and he felt like he had driven coast to coast by the time he tracked everyone down. He talked to his landlord and agreed to stay until the end of November and pay the remainder of his lease, which would be up in January anyway. When he wasn't chasing down subs, he started packing and selling off some of his furniture. His late-attic/early-basement eclectic furnishings weren't worth taking home.

He worked until he couldn't see straight most days. The harder he worked, the easier it was to put that woman out of his mind. Only in the early hours of the morning, when he would awaken from a siren or a loud engine would he be overwhelmed with thoughts of her. In those quiet moments, he allowed himself to think of her as Junior and remember their childhood. Anything closer to now brought on a fresh wave of anger, and then he usually greeted the day with a scowl on his face, as everyone around him steered clear. Somehow, he needed to get her out of his head entirely.

Eventually, he realized that the problem wasn't getting her out of his head, it was getting her out of his heart.

When J.R. walked away and then left town the next day, Julianna figured she'd never see him again. And she didn't blame him. The relief she felt that he now knew the secret she had harbored for ten years somehow didn't balance the gaping hole she felt in her heart. A small part of her hoped he would see beyond the one horrible choice she'd made and find in his heart some understanding, but she wasn't surprised he didn't want to be with her anymore.

Sharon allowed Julianna to remain in the trailer, against J.R.'s wishes, and Julianna promised to keep an eye on the house and garage. Their stilted conversation pinched like a new pair of shoes.

Julianna headed to work. Charlie's might not be a pleasant way to spend her time, but at least it was a familiar one. Once she was set up at her cashier station, she watched John wander the aisles as had become his habit. The previous weeks of strange happenings distracted her while she went through the motions of checking out her customers, greeting everyone absentmindedly.

"Julianna," Mrs. Peterson said, "where is your head, girl?"

"Oh, sorry, Mrs. Peterson, I guess I was daydreaming."

"About a certain young man who came back to town?" she said with a twinkle in her elderly eyes.

Julianna blushed. Not for the reason Mrs. Peterson suspected but because she usually didn't lose her focus. "He left town again, Mrs. Peterson. Nothing's going to happen on that front."

Mrs. Peterson's smile slipped a little. "Well, he'll be back for Sharon's wedding. Don't let that opportunity slip away, girl!"

Julianna couldn't fault the woman who had taught her to read and write in grade school. "I'll work on that," she promised, with no intention of following through. She had exposed enough of herself. She had a little pride left.

Mrs. Peterson nodded her head as she pushed her cart of groceries out the door, and Julianna straightened up and greeted her next customer with a lot more enthusiasm.

By lunchtime, Julianna was looking forward to a break. Bobby came over with his drawer.

"You ready for lunch?" he asked.

"You bet." She turned in her drawer and walked back to the employees' lounge where she kept her purse. After a quick run across the street to grab a hamburger and fries, she sat down in the lunchroom behind the receiving dock to eat.

John came in, took a lunch bag from the refrigerator, and sat down at the same table.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" he asked.

Julianna shook her head.

"Do you do social media, Julianna?"

Hiding her surprise at such a strange question, Julianna shook her head as she took a bite of her hamburger. "I don't have a computer or a smart phone. I never felt the need."

"Oh," was his unenlightening response.

Julianna couldn't keep her curiosity at bay. "We have the old-fashioned kind of social media in Cooper Springs: Edna Mae Gilbert. You give Edna a tidbit of anything, and Cooper Springs will be informed within hours, maybe sooner." She laughed sadly. That's how everyone knew Stacy's latest ex-husband became an ex. Julianna wondered if she simply roamed the town listening in on everyone's conversations.

John dropped a hollow laugh of his own. "That must be why I received a friend request from her. I don't even know her, but she wants to be my friend on Facebook."

"Edna is everyone's friend. That's how she gets her information. She isn't malicious, she just likes to know what's going on and can't keep her mouth shut. I bet her Facebook page is a thing of social beauty," Julianna said, with a smile. "If you want to know what's going on in town, accept her request. But be careful about your posts and what you tell her in person."

"Well, I'll think about it." John turned his attention to his own lunch.

Julianna finished her sandwich, brushed her hands down her jeans, and stood up. "I’m ready to retrieve my drawer, John."

Making her way to the front of the store, she noticed Brad Taylor's wife, Anita, approaching with a brown lunch bag in her hands. She looked a little down, and Julianna waved hello. But Anita didn't respond, and Julianna watched her head for Brad's office. Julianna wasn't surprised by the brown bag. Brad always ate lunch at his desk. Anita usually delivered it just before noon, but she knew for a fact that Brad was not in his office today. She had seen him leave the store just before she dashed across the street. She wanted to stop and speak to Anita, letting her know Brad wasn't there, but that little voice pulled her back. Anita disappeared around the corner and Julianna got caught up in the afternoon crowd.

Days went by and Julianna worked her way into her previous routine, except for dinners with Mama. She missed their time together and wanted to help with the wedding plans, but the rift between her and J.R. bled into her relationship with Mama, and she didn't want to risk J.R.'s newly healed ties with his mom. Sharon had plenty of help from the ladies at church, anyway.

When the demo guys finished cleaning up the fire site and the foundation was ready for construction to begin again, Julianna allowed her heart to hope J.R. would return to oversee the new build. But a local contractor's trucks filled the driveway when she left for work two weeks after the clean-up and there was no sign of J.R. It was one more disappointment, one more stab in her heart. Julianna used the store computer on her lunch breaks to search for housing.

On one such day, when she returned to her station after finding nothing within thirty miles of Cooper Springs, she noticed Bobby fairly jumping out of his skin at the checkout stand.

"What's with you?" she asked, opening her drawer and dropping her key into her apron pocket.

"Haven't you heard?"

"Heard what?"

"It's all over Facebook. Edna Mae posted a video of Mr. Taylor and Stacy Grant."

"Doing what?"

"You know," he said, his face turning a colorful shade of red. "Like I told you before."

Julianna thought for a minute. "Oh, you mean a lap dance?"

"Uh huh," he smiled. You don't see anything too clearly, but there's no mistaking what's going on."

Julianna looked around at the mostly empty store. "Let me see."

Bobby pulled out his phone and tapped on it until he brought the video up. He gave the phone to Julianna and she turned off her light for a minute while she watched. There in all her glory, was Stacy giving Brad a pretty good imitation of a pony ride. Julianna gave Bobby back his phone; her lips tight. She might have grown up not learning much and she might have given herself to a boy before she should, but she didn't think it was funny, interesting, or entertaining. "It's disgusting."

Bobby dismissed Julianna reaction. "It's had over a thousand views."

"Well, I'm glad I'm not on social media. Anita Taylor will be so embarrassed. I feel sorry for her.

At that moment, Brad Taylor, fury covering his face, stomped down the aisle from his office and ran out the door.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

B rad didn't get far, and when shouting and yelling could be heard through the double doors into the store, Julianna and Bobby each locked their drawers and followed their customers outside to see the commotion.

Stacy, decked out in skinny jeans, a low-necked blouse, and heels, stood in the middle of the parking lot screaming at Brad. Julianna couldn't remember ever seeing Stacy in such a stew. Her beet-red face clashed with the pink of her top, and Brad's rosy face matched.

Julianna crossed her arms in front of her chest as she silently witnessed the exchange.

"You're going to ruin me!" Stacy shouted.

"It wasn't my fault!" Brad shouted back.

"Well, who the hell do you think took the video? It was in your office!"

Brad sputtered. "Even if I took the video, I sure as hell wouldn't send it to Edna!"

Stacy stopped ranting and looked at the mob of people now surrounding them as though she was considering what he said. "Then who did it, Brad? Who would be so mean? Who had access to your office? Who..." Stacy's run of questions abruptly stopped as she zeroed in on Julianna.

Leaving Brad standing in the middle of the pavement, surrounded by the crowd, Stacy marched up to Julianna, "Did you do this, Junior?"

Julianna cringed at Stacy's use of her old nickname but stood her ground. "Why would I care what you do with Brad Taylor, Stacy?"

"Well, maybe you wanted to get back at me."

"For what?"

"For stealing your man."

"As if."

"I have it on good authority that J.R. dumped you this time. Don't think your life is kept behind closed doors. And I intend to take advantage of your loss."

Julianna looked around at the crowd of neighbors, friends, and customers. "I have nothing to say to you, Stacy. I couldn't care less about you or what you do. But I certainly wouldn't stick it to my boss like that." She looked away before Stacy could see through to her true feelings. "How many men do you need, anyway?" she muttered.

"Julianna, Bobby," Brad said, obviously wanting to break up the scene. "Get back to work!"

Stacy turned on Brad once more, but Julianna and Bobby followed Brad's instructions and returned inside the store. Julianna could see them continuing to argue, but thankfully, she could no longer hear their words. Bobby would hear all the gossip and fill her in, she was sure. Edna was somewhere in the crowd; Julianna could feel it.

Bobby kept her posted about the popularity of the video until, with over ten thousand views, Julianna told him to stop. She still couldn't feel bad for Stacy and Brad, but her heart went out to Anita, who had left town the day after the video hit the Internet. Rumor had it that Anita was the one who planted the camera in Brad's office, the result of his suspicious behavior, and then sent the video to Edna Mae.

Two weeks after the video shocked the little town of Cooper Springs, Julianna came to work to find Brad cleaning out his office. The tight line of his mouth might have scared away newer employees, but Julianna had been there for a long time.

"You're leaving?" she asked.

He gave her a long, sad look. "Yes, Julianna. I'm leaving. I never cared that much about this job, but I stayed because my parents started the store. I'm going to do what I really want to do."

The bravado sounded good, but Julianna had her suspicions about his real reason for leaving. "Good luck, Mr. Taylor," she said, her wishes genuine.

"Thank you, Julianna." He hesitated, then spoke with a little more strength. "You're a good employee. You deserved the assistant manager's position. I know that. But I didn't have the final say. I'm sorry for that."

"Just out of curiosity, who did? Who really hired John?" John had settled into his position like a big dog in a small bed, but he was trying to make it work.

"I shouldn't say. But," he said with gusto, "since I'm no longer an employee, you might as well know. Stacy Grant is the owner of Charlie's."

Julianna took a step back. Stacy was her real boss? "I can't believe it. How in the world could she afford to buy the store?"

"Apparently her ex-husband bought it, and it was part of her divorce settlement."

"Well, I'll be...probably fired soon." Julianna said in a loud whisper and wondered how it was that Stacy had allowed her to work at the store. Then she remembered Stacy's divorce had only been final for about a month before J.R. had come home. It hadn't been all that long.

Brad gave a half-hearted laugh at Julianna's attempt at a joke, which wasn't really a joke to Julianna, and continued his walk out of the store. Within half an hour, the buzz in the store suddenly stilled as Stacy Smith Geiger Ashworth Grant entered the store wearing a suit that could have held its own in court and strutted her way to Brad's office. Her office, now, Julianna supposed.

"Julianna!" Stacy called from the back of the store. "Come here!"

Julianna finished with her customer and called Bobby to open his station. Once her drawer was locked, she made her way back to the office.

Crossing her arms, she lingered in the doorway, watching as Stacy threw open and then slammed drawers shut in Brad's old desk.

"You wanted to talk to me, Stacy?"

"You will address me as Ms. Grant."

Julianna couldn't stop the guffaw from exploding from her mouth. "What?"

"I'm not kidding. Everyone who works for me will call me Ms. Grant."

"Stacy, we've known each other since we were in grade school."

"I don't care. I own this store. If you want to keep your job, you'll do as your told."

Julianna thought for a minute, taking in Stacy's fancy clothes, and held her tongue, like Mama had taught her. She needed the job. Especially now that she was losing her trailer. Using immense control, she decided she'd play nice and give Stacy whatever she wanted. "Yes, ma'am, Ms. Grant." She'd have to work at keeping the sarcasm out of her voice.

Stacy glared at her. "Now, bring me a cup of coffee."

"Coffee? You drink coffee now?"

"Since five a.m. this morning when Brad resigned!" she yelled. "Now bring me coffee!"

Julianna almost bowed before she headed to the lunchroom and filled a plastic cup with the morning's brew. John made the coffee, and she had no idea how it tasted. She didn't know whether Stacy was planning to drink it black or add cream and sugar. She grabbed two creamers and five sugars. Returning to Brad's office—she would need to get used to calling it Stacy's office—she deposited the cup and condiments on her desk and turned to leave.

Stacy's voice stopped her at the doorway. "What time do you go to lunch?"

"Usually around noon. Bobby covers for me and he goes afterward."

"Effective today, that changes. Bobby will go at noon and you will go when he returns."

Julianna swung around, preparing to demand to know why when she met Stacy's narrow, beady eyes. She stopped herself just in time. "Yes, ma'am, Ms. Grant," she said between her teeth as she turned back around and headed for her station.

How had she ended up in hell, working for the devil?

"You'll be here for my wedding."

"Of course, Mama," J.R. said, running his hand over his face. One more final inspection and he could leave. But the inspector had asked for a couple of changes—ridiculous changes as far as J.R. was concerned—and he needed to pick up some parts. "I'll be there Friday. I've almost got things wrapped up here. I didn't want to have to come back. I don't even have my apartment anymore. It's not like I want to be here."

"The wedding is Saturday."

"I know, Mama." J.R. rolled his eyes. He'd known the date of the wedding since they first announced their engagement. He couldn't help that subcontractors didn't show up and inspectors liked to pull power plays, especially when the general contractor was young and inexperienced, and in their mind, needed to be taught a lesson. Working in Cooper Springs would be a great deal easier. Phil Woods was the inspector for everything from foundations to the final and didn't seem to be nearly as concerned with throwing his weight around as the guys in the bigger counties.

"What about Julianna?"

J.R. swallowed. He had no intention of discussing that woman with her. "There's nothing to say, Mama."

"James Robert Bentley!"

What was it about mothers when they said your full name? It turned every kid in the world into a quivering mass of glutinous fear. He took a deep breath. "Mama, I don't want to talk about her. I thought we had something special, but J...Junior's actions said different. I can't deal with that." He had finally related to Mama what Julianna had admitted, and he thought that would be the end of it.

"Who made you judge and jury?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"What gives you the right to judge her actions?"

J.R. could feel his hackles rise and tamped down his anger. "I have every right. What she did affected me, too."

"I didn't say anything before because I thought you would figure this out, but I want you to think about her situation for a minute."

J.R. could hear Mama wind up and braced himself for the tongue-lashing he knew was coming.

"She thought you had cheated on her with Stacy, who was not just her best friend, but her only other friend, since she spent all her time between the two of you. Earl and Maureen had kicked her out of the house. She was lost. She had a part time job at the grocery store and no way to continue her education, if she even knew what she wanted to do.

"No one had talked to her about right and wrong. No one had taught her the ways of God, the importance of morality. She was alone and scared, J.R. I did the best I could, but she wouldn't call you. If she had asked me, I would have guided her, but she didn't. She left town without telling anyone and fell in with a young woman who seemed to know more about the world. That girl convinced her to run away instead of taking responsibility for her actions. Yes, it seemed like the easy way out, but it wasn't. Julianna is paying that price now. Now and forever."

J.R. grunted, unable to get out of his mind what she had done, plus the fact that she hadn't told him years before.

"I know you're angry, son. I know this hurt you. But she's changed. She learned about right and wrong. She accepted Jesus Christ as her Savior. He forgave her. She was even at a point where she had forgiven herself. I know she had, because otherwise, she never would have told you about it. She got herself on the path to God and even though she still slips up, letting her anger get the best of her occasionally, she tries every day to be a good person."

Mama's words were turning into oatmeal in his brain, soft and bland. He started tuning her out when her next words caught him in the gut.

"Are you better than God that He can forgive her, but you can't?"

"You know that's not how it is."

"Well, that's the way you're acting. What else am I to think?"

"I'm working on it."

"Liar!"

"Mama! How can you say that?"

"Because if you were working on it, you would be reaching out to her, asking to hear more of her side of the story. You would be willing to realize that you can't change the past, but you could have a future with her if you still loved her enough."

"I do—did—love her."

"But not enough. She's worth more than fair-weather love, J.R. She's experienced a lot in her young life, and she's come through with her head held high, an upstanding member of our community. Did you know she volunteers at the hospital?"

"Since when?"

"Since about ten years ago."

"What does she do there?"

Mama paused, and he could have sworn he heard Mama sniff. "She..." she began, and he knew for certain she was keeping back tears, "she holds babies."

"At the hospital? Don't they have parents for that?"

"Sometimes the mothers are ill or injured or just sleeping. Sometimes the infants are isolated because they're struggling to stay alive and they need extra holding."

"She just holds them?"

"The nurses try to do what they can, but like most places, they're short-staffed. She fills in when the nurses can't. She doesn't go all the time. But when they call, she drops everything. She'll sit for hours, holding one baby or trading off and holding more than one. She told me it's her penitence because of her horrible choices. Oh, J.R., hasn't she suffered enough? Do you really think she doesn't agonize over her actions every day?"

"She said as much." J.R. tried to envision Julianna sitting in the hospital holding a patient's baby as a way of proving her repentance.

"She doesn't lie. After all the lies Earl and Maureen told her, she said that was the one thing she learned from them; not to lie."

J.R. couldn't say anything. His anger had disappeared with his vision of Julianna holding babies in the hospital. "I have some thinking to do, Mama. I'm going to go now."

"And praying, J.R."

"And praying, Mama."

"I'll call you in the morning to see when you're coming."

"Okay, bye, Mama."

The next morning, his phone rang uncharacteristically early and he jumped. Expecting Mama's call, he swiped his phone and said, "Good morning, beautiful."

"Well, now, J.R., that's just the nicest way to greet me." Stacy's saccharine sweet voice dripped through the wireless lines and J.R. gagged, irritated with himself for not checking his caller ID first.

"I'm sorry, Stacy. I was expecting someone else."

"Yes, well, I can't help that I'm not one of your many girlfriends, but I have a business proposition to discuss with you. Your mama said you'd be back in town this week, seeing as she's getting married and all on Saturday."

J.R. ignored the comments about girlfriends and focused on the last part. "A business proposition?"

"Are you available?" She paused, and J.R. was certain she was waiting for him to take the bait. "To meet with me?" she added, with a sigh.

J.R. couldn't help but find innuendo in everything Stacy said, but he didn't follow her lead. "I'll let you know when I'm back in town. We'll set up a meeting then."

"I can hardly wait to see you again, J.R.," Stacy purred.

"This is business, right, Stacy? Not some convoluted way for you to seduce me?"

Stacy's laugh sounded shrill and plastic. "I only wish, darling."

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

T he invitation to Mama and Henry's wedding glared at Julianna as she got ready for work the Wednesday before the big day. She knew J.R. was coming back. Mama had talked about nothing else when she bought her groceries for the reception the day before. The chill in the air between them finally related only to the weather. Something had changed, but Julianna couldn't ask what. She was simply grateful that she and Mama were back on better terms. Wondering if that would change when J.R. came home, she drove the ten minutes to work and punched in.

The vision of Stacy sitting in Brad's chair in the office still felt like an episode of The Twilight Zone to Julianna. Stacy hadn't held down a full-time job since her summers between college semesters when she was married to Devon. Poor, sweet Devon. Stacy grabbed onto him like a snake as soon as the ink was dry from her divorce from Steve. But Devon was still in school, and Stacy had to work in order to have all the clothes, shoes, and other junk she required. Then, when Devon had been working as an engineer for the plastics manufacturer in Springhill for three years, she served him with papers and took half his assets, citing irreconcilable differences, if Julianna remembered Edna's information correctly. Seeing Stacy glued to her computer as she knocked on the door didn't fit with the flighty character she knew.

"Knock, knock," she said, as she tapped an echo on the door frame.

"What?" Stacy looked up from her work.

"I've come for my drawer."

"Oh, of course." Stacy got up and opened the safe where the cash drawers were housed.

Julianna counted out her drawer in front of Stacy. They both initialed the cash sheet and Julianna set up shop at her normal station. Greeting her regular customers throughout the morning, she decided working for "Ms. Grant" wasn't as bad as she had imagined. Stacy spent most of her day at her desk. John wandered the store with a clipboard and barcode scanner, and everyone settled back into their normal routines. Stacy mentioned hiring another cashier and Julianna hoped she would, considering how short-staffed they were. As it was, Julianna would barely get off work in time for Mama's wedding on Saturday.

The hubbub in the air the day of Sharon Bentley's wedding to Henry Johnson sounded like a flock of geese headed south for winter. Everyone who came into the store talked about the decorations at the church, the beautiful dress Sharon was going to wear, and the fact that J.R. had finally returned to town. Julianna couldn't help the excitement that grew as she thought about seeing J.R. again. Mama had said he was better, not as angry, and Julianna had spent a great deal of her evenings on her knees talking to God about it. She understood that J.R. couldn't marry her anymore, but since they would be living in the same town, they should be able to be friends, right?

"Julianna." Stacy's voice rose above the chatter in the store.

"Yes, Ms. Grant?" Julianna still wanted to laugh at Stacy's insistence that they all call her that. After days and days of saying her name that way, Julianna was finally getting used to it.

"There's been a change in the schedule for today."

"Oh?" As though a thunderhead cloud suddenly appeared on the horizon, Julianna felt shivers run down her back.

The chatter died down, and Julianna realized everyone was listening to their conversation.

"Yes, I need you to work late tonight. Joe, the relief cashier wanted time off to see his kid play basketball. I said you would cover for him."

"Joe?"

"Yes."

"Joe, the guy who's been here for six months, who only works evenings and weekends because he has a day job at the factory, and who has been late for work every day for the last three months? That Joe?"

"Yes, he asked. I said it was okay. Do you have a problem with that? Because if you do, you could always look for work elsewhere."

Julianna stared at Stacy's cold, hard eyes and understood immediately what she was doing. She never realized exactly how much Stacy hated her until that moment. Stacy's moniker of the Wicked Witch fit like her too-tight pencil skirt. Julianna tossed around the idea of quitting right then, in front of everyone, without notice. But Mama's words filled her head with comfort and advice. She needed the job. She wouldn't stoop to Stacy's level and make a scene. The silence in the store was deafening, and Julianna could hear her heart beat out the seconds until she replied. Finally, she said, "No problem, Ms. Grant. I'm happy to get the overtime."

Stacy looked a little surprised at Julianna's acceptance of her schedule change. Julianna gave her a big, fake smile and went back to scanning Greg Feinstein's groceries. Stacy looked around at the angry looks on the faces of those who witnessed the exchange and backed up, fear replacing the surprise.

Greg's agitated voice revved up even before Stacy was all the way off the floor. Like a slow starting race car, he gained momentum. "That's not right, Julianna! You're going to miss Sharon's wedding. Joe could see his kid play basketball another time. The season has just started. You have more seniority, and you're a much better worker!"

Julianna looked around at the nodding faces showing their concern. She was touched by their defense of her. She never thought she had many friends in town, but maybe she was wrong. "I appreciate that Greg...everyone. Hey, just make sure someone takes a video, okay? And make sure Mama knows I didn't plan it this way."

Murmurs of agreement wrapped around Julianna's heart.

"Maybe we should start shopping at the IGA just outside of town," Greg said, looking out over the crowd.

"Oh, no, Greg, please. If business drops off, I'll lose my job."

Greg looked at Julianna for a long moment. "Okay, honey. Right everyone? As long as Julianna works here, we'll keep coming."

A shout of solidarity reverberated throughout the store and Julianna smiled with tears in her eyes, grateful for the wonderful community where she lived. As much as she toyed with the idea of leaving once J.R. returned, she looked around and knew she couldn't do it. Cooper Springs was her home, the people here her family, and she would stay. Nursing her broken heart had become a familiar pain. It seemed like heartache was her destiny. Maybe it was time for another visit to the hospital.

J.R. kept looking for Junior. Mama's words had penetrated his thick skull, and his prayers had convinced him that forgiveness for Julianna was the only course of action he could possibly take. It wasn't easy and he wasn't there yet, but he felt a hundred percent better since he started thinking of her as Julianna again and praying for help to forgive her. He knocked on the bride's door, wondering if Julianna was in there helping Mama with her dress.

"Yes?" Mama said.

"It's almost time, Mama. Is Julianna with you?"

The silence from the other side of the door started worrying him. "Mama?

"She's not coming. Mathilda Bonner told me Stacy announced in front of the whole store this morning that Julianna was going to have to work late to cover for another employee who wanted the time off."

"Are you kidding me?"

"I wish I was. I'll be ready in just a minute. Is Henry ready? The pastor? Is everyone just waiting on me?"

J.R. was still so caught up in the fact that Julianna wouldn't be there that he missed the other questions. He wandered down the hall and peeked into the chapel. It was filled to capacity, a murmur of chit-chat floated about the room. Henry was standing at the front of the church, Pastor Doug next to him. Stacy's bright blonde hair stood out in the crowd, and he thought about why she hated Julianna. Fed up with her manipulating machinations, he walked down the side aisle and whispered to the two men. With their nods, he turned and marched up to Stacy.

"Well, well, J.R. Don't you clean up fine." Stacy said, admiration clear in her bright eyes.

J.R. didn't exchange pleasantries but went straight to the heart of the matter. "Do you really want to do a business deal with me?"

Stacy's eyes darted around the large room. "I...I don't think this is the time to discuss it, J.R. Your mama's about to get married."

"Do you?" he demanded.

"Well, of course, darling," she rested her long red fingernails on his jacket sleeve, "but this just isn't the time."

"Then you will go back to your store and close it for the rest of the day."

"I'll what?"

"I can't think you'll have much business. I'll tell Mama. We'll wait for you to come back, if you wish."

"You think I'm going to go back and close the store just because you said so?"

"I think you'll do as I ask, or you can do business with someone else. It is about selling the store, isn't it, Stacy?"

"You don't know that."

"I know you don't have any other business. I know you're bored to death sitting in Brad's office. And I've done a little digging. You're up to your eyeballs in debt, the store is on the brink of failing, and I know the only reason you made Julianna work late is because of your ridiculous jealousy."

"Wh...why would I be jealous of Julianna?"

J.R. thought it was especially interesting that of all the things he mentioned, that was the one thing Stacy grasped onto. "Because she's kind, caring, helpful, and something you'll never be: beautiful inside and out."

Stacy stuck her chin out, her eyes turning as cold as the wind in January. "You should be nicer to me, J.R."

"Go close your store." J.R. stood still and waited. He could feel a communal breath being held as Stacy stared at him.

In a huff, Stacy slipped out of the church pew and stormed out the front doors of the church.

"If everyone doesn't mind waiting, I need to let Mama know there's been a delay and then go pick up Julianna. She needs to be here; don't you all agree?"

A rousing cheer came from the congregation, and J.R. smiled for the first time in weeks.

"I'll be back as soon as I can."

J.R. ran down the hall to the bride's room.

"Mama?"

"J.R., what's going on? The wedding should have started five minutes ago. Isn't Henry here?"

The worry in her voice broke his heart. "Everything is fine. Stacy decided to close the store, and we're going to wait until Julianna can get here. She needs to be here, Mama."

"Oh, J.R., thank you. Why don't you send in Sylvia Sutter to keep me company while I wait?"

"You bet. I'll be right back."

J.R. worked his way through the chapel until he spotted Mrs. Sutter. After arranging for her to sit with Mama, he ran across the parking lot to his truck and high-tailed it to the store, hoping he could catch Julianna before she went home.

When he arrived at Charlie's empty parking lot, he was gratified to see the neon "open" sign had been turned off and the "closed" sign illuminated. Julianna was walking to her car as he pulled in beside her.

"Julianna!" he called from his open window.

"J.R.?"

"You were planning to come to the wedding, weren't you?"

"Well, yes, but I missed it. I had to work. And now Stacy came in and said she's closing the store until tomorrow morning. I don't get it."

"You didn't miss it. Mama's waiting for you." J.R. wasn't sure she would want to come if he asked.

"You mean the wedding was stopped?"

"It never got started. Please get in the truck, and I'll explain on the way there."

Julianna looked down at her jeans and polo shirt with Charlie's emblem on the pocket. "I'm not dressed for a wedding."

"Mama's waiting. Get in."

"You mean, she's waiting just for me?"

"Yes. Do you want her to have to wait for you to put on a dress?"

"Well, no. I guess not. What about my car?"

"It'll be fine. I'll bring you back after."

Julianna walked around to the passenger side of his truck and hopped in, muttering about how important it was to dress properly for the occasion.

J.R. patted her hand. "It's okay. It's more important to have you there, than what you're wearing."

"Mama always told me to dress for the occasion. I hated wearing dresses when I first started going to church, but she insisted, and I started to understand. I feel dumb coming to the wedding like this."

"Mama won't care. She just wants you there."

"Couldn't you swing by my place and I'll grab a dress really quick?"

J.R. glared at her.

"Okay, okay," she said with her hand up. "I'll go like this, I guess. It's more important to be there than what I'm wearing," she repeated under her breath. After a minute, she looked him up and down. "I didn't know you were talking to me again."

"Yes, well," he swallowed hard, "there's a lot you don't know yet. But there's no time to get into it now. Right now, we've a wedding to get to."

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

S haron Bentley-Johnson's smile couldn't compete with the look of love in her eyes as she gazed at her new husband. Julianna's heart surged for the happiness she saw there. Who would have believed that the devastation of a fire would bring the two sixty-somethings together to find love in the autumn of their lives? When Julianna had arrived for the delayed ceremony, she spied numerous nods and smiles as she took her seat at the front of the chapel. Twenty minutes later, Pastor Doug pronounced them husband and wife and Julianna thought Henry's big smile would circle around his head. The congregation applauded and the bride and groom walked each other down the aisle.

She wasn't sure how it all came about, but several attendees filled her in on J.R.'s confrontation with Stacy—who had not returned for the ceremony—and how he had demanded she close the store so Julianna could be there.

Julianna spied J.R. across the room, standing beside his mother and new stepfather, greeting well-wishers. A bittersweet wave swept past her and left a lingering melancholy. Pushing to the side what could never be, she pasted on her own smile and chatted with people she had grown to love.

When the time came for the traditional bride and groom events, they cut the cake, danced the first dance, and Sharon threw her wedding bouquet...right at Julianna, who laughed, embarrassed at the pointed display. She would have to explain to Mama later that what she obviously wanted to happen simply couldn't.

The newlyweds took off in Henry's old pickup, preferring to honeymoon at his cabin instead of leaving town. With Christmas on the heels of the wedding, Julianna couldn't blame them.

J.R. took her back to her car, as promised, but their conversation was stilted and spotty. She told herself to be satisfied that he defended her attendance at the wedding.

Sharon called her on Christmas Eve and asked her to come celebrate with them, but she assured her she was needed more at the hospital, her usual haunt over the holidays. Christmas never did mean a lot of presents, food, or other stuff to Julianna. She celebrated the birth of Christ by being of service to people away from their families and that brought her great happiness. She thought J.R. might try to convince her to come over, but he never did. She saw little of him, and she almost forgot about the cryptic comments he made before the wedding.

Julianna wondered if J.R. would be more hands-on with the rebuild of the farmhouse since he was back in town, but she never saw him there. After another week, she rang in the new year and went back to work as usual, although Stacy soured more each day. She watched the framing, the roofing, and the siding go on the new house, the crew pushing to get it closed in before winter hit full steam. Every day, she went to work; every night, she went home to the trailer alone. The community had stood beside her when Stacy had tried to humiliate Julianna, but she knew they had their own families to care for. She couldn't expect anyone to pay her more attention than the friendly visits while they made their grocery purchases.

Around the middle of January, the temperatures dropped and snow occasionally fell. Winter had arrived in earnest. Julianna was helping Mrs. Roberts, cooing over her new baby, when J.R. came in, walked past her, and headed straight for the back of the store. Temporarily frozen, since he didn't even acknowledge her at her station, it wasn't until Helen cleared her throat that Julianna blinked her way back to scanning food items. Bobby was working the station next door and she raised her eyebrows to him to see if he knew what was going on. The shrug of his shoulders gave way to disappointment, and she refocused on checking out the next customer in line.

Bobby took his lunch at noon, and J.R. came out from the back just after he left. Standing in her line to buy a pack of gum, she smiled to herself, remembering when he did that so he could talk to her. As she scanned his gum, she looked right at him.

"Can you go to lunch?" he asked.

"Bobby just left. I can't go for another hour."

"Oh." The regret on his face helped soften the letdown. "Maybe another day, then."

Julianna nodded and watched him leave the store, confused at his clipped words.

The next day, J.R. arrived again mid-morning and sequestered himself in Stacy's office. Julianna didn't know what to think, but everyone else seemed to take it in stride, as though J.R. Bentley seeing Stacy Grant came as no surprise.

By the fifth day in a row that J.R. spent the morning hours with Stacy in her office, Julianna was ready to scream. He still hadn't talked to her. He still hadn't told her all the things she apparently needed to know. Seeing him make time for Stacy and completely ignore her boiled her blood. She began to rethink the idea of staying in Cooper Springs.

Bobby had a dentist appointment early in the day and decided to take that time as his lunch hour. This allowed Julianna to go to lunch at her old scheduled time of noon. She was tempted to text J.R. and suggest they have lunch together but hesitated. She didn't want to intrude on his and Stacy's meeting—whatever that entailed—and she certainly didn't want to risk Stacy knowing she was in contact with J.R. Julianna forced herself to stop thinking about it and left for lunch when Bobby returned.

An hour later, she had barely entered the store when she saw J.R. leaving from the back office. Following right behind him, Stacy, with her blouse untucked and her skirt twisted, ran up to J.R. from behind and wrapped her arms around him. Julianna stopped cold.

"J.R., honey, I don't know what I'd do without you. You're my hero." Stacy's sugary words crystallized Julianna's breath.

When J.R. turned around, Julianna couldn't see his face, but the fact that they were kissing couldn't be mistaken. J.R. held Stacy by her upper arms while she clawed at his side.

A gasp from Mr. Peterson broke them apart and Julianna caught a glimpse of Stacy's sultry smile. "Oh, honey, that was even better."

Julianna didn't stay long enough to discover "better than what." She threw her keys at J.R.'s feet and ran out the door.

"Julianna!" J.R. watched the back of her feet as the front doors to the store closed. He bent to pick up the register keys that had landed at his feet, then turned on Stacy.

"Stacy, I'm going to say this once and you're going to listen carefully. You have thirty minutes to exit these premises. If you're not gone by then, I will call the police and charge you with trespassing. If you make a scene, cause a problem, or in any way approach me, my family, or Julianna, I will do everything in my power to ruin you. Do you understand?"

Stacy stood stock still, her previous smug expression gone.

"Do. You. Understand?" J.R. yelled in her face.

She reached for him, but he back away quickly. "Don't ever touch me again."

"But, J.R., we're doing business together now."

"If you don't follow my instructions, Stacy, I will cancel this sale. I will broadcast to everyone in town what you've done, even if I have to enlist Edna's help, and you will lose every customer you ever had. Your business will fold in a week. If I thought I could get away with it, I'd demand you leave town, too."

"You don't mean that."

"More than you could know. By the way, I spoke with Jim last night. If this deal doesn't go through, you can't sell the store for two years according to your divorce agreement. He gave you one shot at selling. And believe me, he's watching to see what happens. Two years, Stacy. There won't be anything left after two years except an empty building."

Stacy swallowed and backed up. "J.R., I was just kidding. You can't mean to actually call the cops on me."

"Twenty-five minutes."

Stacy ran to her office.

J.R. turned and reached for a towel under Bobby's register, wiping his face of Stacy's attention. "John!" he called.

"John is at lunch, J.R.," Bobby said.

J.R. threw the towel behind the counter and rubbed his hand through his hair. "Okay. Bobby, I've got to find Julianna. You're in charge of the store. I'll be back as soon as I can."

J.R. ran to his truck, his phone on speed dial to Julianna. When she didn't pick up, he called Mama.

"You've got to help me. She thinks she saw something that wasn't true." J.R. explained the situation, and Sharon whistled.

"That's quite a predicament, J.R."

"Tell me what to do, Mama. How do I get her to talk to me?"

"I thought you were going to talk to her right after the wedding."

"I was waiting until this deal with Stacy concluded. I thought it would be better if I waited until the sale finalized before actively pursuing her again. I worried that Stacy would blow the deal." He hung his head as he started the truck. "I was wrong."

"Okay, think it through. What would Julianna do?"

"She would probably go home, right?" He could hear the desperation in his voice.

"That would be my guess. Try the trailer. If that doesn't work, call me again."

"Okay, thanks Mama." J.R. hung up and put the truck in gear.

The ten-minute drive to the farmhouse was the longest of J.R.'s life. As he pulled into the driveway, he noticed Julianna's car parked next to the garage and sighed. She was here. Now he just needed to get her to talk to him. But before he could approach the back of the house, the general contractor, Jason Sperry, called him over.

"Hey, J.R., just the man I need to see. We've got a question about the plumbing in the new kitchen. Can you come over here for a minute?"

J.R. glanced at Julianna's car and nodded. "Sure, if it's quick."

Jason opened the blueprints and laid them out on the tailgate of his truck. J.R. kept an eye on Julianna's car as Jason pointed to the positioning of the sink and dishwasher in the new kitchen. As he asked about the placement of the sink under the window, J.R. had to give the blueprints his attention. The drawing showed the sink offset to the window. He always liked the sink lined up with the window, and the window was already in place, but centering the sink would change the cabinet design; cabinets that were already built and waiting to be installed.

Jason then asked about the positions of the light switches on the second floor. J.R. didn't want to think about plumbing and wiring but couldn't very well ignore the man he had hired. The timing couldn't have been worse. Promising he would review the plans thoroughly by the following day, he finally had a chance to look back to the garage.

Julianna's car was gone.

J.R. pounded his fist on Jason's tailgate.

"Something wrong, man?"

"Yes. Hey, I'm sorry, I've got to go. I'll get you answers for all your questions. For now, line up the plumbing with the center of the window."

"Okay, thanks. And I hope everything works out."

"Me, too," J.R. muttered as he ran for his truck and called Mama.

"She got away," he said without any salutation.

"What do you mean she got away? Did you talk to her?"

"No, Jason intercepted me and by the time I was done answering his questions, she had sneaked away."

"J.R., you've got to stop her. I think she might run. If she thinks you're with Stacy, she'll never stay in this town."

"What can I do?"

"It's got to be a big thing, J.R.; something she can't possibly mistake. She's too easily convinced of her unworthiness."

"I'll do anything, Mama."

"Well, I have an idea."

J.R. listened as Mama detailed her plan while he drove back to main street and the store. As she was talking, another idea popped into his head and he said, "Mama, if you make the calls that create the roadblock, I'll do the rest. I've got a call to make, too."

Never in his life had J.R. wanted to erase the last half hour away as he wanted to this day. He called Bobby at the store to find out that Stacy had indeed vacated the office and stomped out of the store five minutes prior. With that accomplished, he gave Bobby new instructions. If Julianna passed by the store, which she would if she intended to leave town, he might have a chance. J.R. prayed harder than ever.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

J ulianna called herself all kinds of bad names as she paced the skinny, short hallway in the trailer. Mostly, she ignored the tears running down her face and tried to tune out the way her heart shattered the more she thought about J.R. and Stacy together. In high school, she didn't have as much of a picture of what that two-some would look like. Now the vision was etched in her mind for all time. She could never un-see that. The sound of a truck pulling into the driveway brought Julianna to the teeny window over her kitchen sink.

J.R.

Well, she wasn't going to stick around to listen to him try to explain away a very public display of affection with the woman who had made it her goal to ruin Julianna's life. They might not realize it, but when she threw her keys at J.R., she had quit. The definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That ended now. She wasn't going to continue working for Stacy Grant, somehow hoping she would turn into a nice person.

But first, she needed to get away and the hospital in Springhill was calling her name. Maybe a day holding babies would calm her down long enough that she could stand to stay in the same town as J.R.

Probably not.

Peeking out the window, she watched as the contractor called him over and opened a set of plans, pointing, and moving his arms between the paper and the unfinished house. J.R. kept looking over at her car. If Jason could keep him occupied, she could get away. She needed to wait for the perfect moment.

She slipped her wallet into her back pocket and dropped her keys into the front. Like a thief in the night, she opened the door slowly, watching to make sure J.R.'s head was down. Pulling her jacket tight, she turned and closed the door with the tiniest snick. Going around the back of the trailer, she sneaked behind the garage and calculated the run to her car, turning it on, and how fast she could roll down the driveway before J.R. would notice.

Luck was on her side for once when she saw him bend close to the plans, obviously in a deep conversation. She jumped into the car, started it, and threw it into gear in one fluid movement, then quickly backed down the driveway. She didn't go so fast that she would draw attention, but once at the road, she sped away. A quick glance in her rearview mirror and she felt like a spy on a mission. J.R. hadn't noticed yet, but she knew he would soon.

Bad luck returned as she realized she needed gas. Stopping at Joe's garage, she waited. And waited. Cursing the state as one of only two left in the country that refused to allow customers to pump their own gas, she got out of her car to find Joe.

He looked up from under the hood of a car in for repair. "Hey, Julianna. What's up? You need me to look at that starter again?"

"No, Joe. The starter's just fine. I just need gas."

Joe stood up and stretched his back. "Where's Caden?"

"I don't know, Joe. I don't keep track of your employees."

Joe looked at her hard, and she quickly apologized. "I'm sorry. I'm grumpy. I just quit my job at Charlie's and I'm trying to get out of town."

"Okay, hon. Give me a sec."

Julianna nodded and went back to her car.

Joe arrived a few minutes later and filled her tank, throwing his hands up in surrender when she adamantly refused his offer to clean the windshield.

Finally, back on the road, she cringed to know she had to pass in front of Charlie's before she could escape.

Her phone rang. She glanced at the caller ID. Mama. Well, Mama would lambast her if she talked on the phone while driving. She let it go to voicemail.

Less than a minute later, Mama called again. Julianna pulled over to the side of the road to take the call.

"Hi, Mama," she said, as sweetly as she could.

"Julianna, where are you?"

"How do you know I'm not at work?"

"Really, Julianna, you're going to start playing games with me?"

"Fine. I'm on Oak, almost to 5th Street."

"I'd like you to swing by and see me."

"I can't today, Mama. I'm heading out of town."

"Julianna, you know you need to talk to J.R."

"He did his 'talking' to Stacy."

Sharon paused, and Julianna wasn't sure if the call was still connected. Finally, she said, "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I've got eyes, Mama. And a heart. A broken one now. J.R. made his choice and I may have to live with that, but I can't work for that woman anymore."

"You quit?"

"They might not think so, yet, but yes, I quit. I threw my keys at their feet and left." She hiccupped. "I know, I know, that's not the way to do it, but I can't care today, Mama."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm not sure. I'm going to start at the hospital and then see what feels right."

"I don't think that's a good idea, sweetheart."

Julianna knew when Sharon started in on the endearments, she was trying not to tell her what to do, but she really wanted to. A small smile crept onto her face. Her temper had finally calmed to a slow fizzle. "I'm sure you wouldn't."

"Julianna, just come see me. We can talk this over and you can work it out with J.R."

"Not today. Gotta go, Mama. I'll talk to you later." She ended the call, dying a little inside for hanging up on the woman who'd made life bearable over the last few years. But she couldn't give in this time. The stakes were too high. Her heart couldn't take it. She pulled back onto the road out of town.

At the crossroads of Main Street and First Avenue, Julianna saw the most unusual and amazing activity on the street. Cars were sitting catawampus all over the pavement; some angled against the curb, and others parked across the divider line. The end result was a complete and total roadblock. Instantly concerned if someone had been hurt in the accident, Julianna parked at the curb and walked up to the first car in the melee.

Ray Jones was sitting in his car, listening to the radio. She could see his fingers tapping out the rhythm on his steering wheel.

Something wasn't adding up. Where were the police cars? Where was the ambulance? Why didn't she hear sirens?

Walking down the street and past the maze of cars, Julianna stopped in front of Charlie's. Trying not to look at the store, she focused on the cars in the middle of the mess but couldn't see a single dent, a piece of broken glass, or anything that would indicate a collision. And still, not a cop car in sight.

Call it habit, or curiosity, or her obsession for J.R., she found herself looking toward Charlie's. As though he came from her imagination, J.R. walked toward her with a bouquet of flowers and the most pitiful expression on his face. As soon as they made eye contact, J.R. dropped to his knees.

"Julianna!" he cried from twenty feet away, and it seemed like the entire population of Cooper Springs created a circle around them. "Please forgive me!"

Julianna huffed.

"Not for what you saw."

Julianna's eyebrows reached for her hairline. "What?"

J.R. muttered something to himself and stood up, then started talking again. "Please forgive me for not talking to you about what I was doing. I mean..."

"Maybe you should shut up and save yourself more humiliation, J.R.!"

"Julianna, Junior, please hear me out. I'm messing this all up." J.R. began moving toward her.

"You got that right," she agreed. She scanned the watching crowd, her nerves getting the better of her, until she spotted Mama on the sidelines, arms crossed and a determined look on her face.

"Okay, J.R. Go for it. Let's see if you can climb out of this hole."

"Hey, Julianna!" Bobby yelled from atop an extension ladder, leaning against the sign board for the store. "Look at this!"

Julianna looked up at the sign and read the obscure letters: IWLYF PMM

"What's that supposed to mean, Bobby? You forget how to spell?" she called to him.

"Just following orders from the new boss." He pointed to J.R. who was no longer twenty feet away. He had lessened the space between them to almost nothing.

Julianna wanted to back up, but she couldn't when she saw the look of pure love standing only a few inches from her. "Would you like me to translate?" he said in a deep, clear voice.

Julianna looked at the sign again and the letters slowly started to make sense. "I...will...love...you...forever..." she stuttered.

J.R. interrupted. "I bought the store, Junior. Stacy was just trying to make you mad. There's nothing between us. There never has been anything between us. It's only you. It's always been you. It always will be you. You rocked my world in high school, and you rock my world now. P.M.M. Please marry me."

Julianna swallowed the sudden lump in her throat and wouldn't have stopped the grin on her face even if she could. "Nice climbing."

A little over a year later...

"How about time for Daddy?" J.R. reached for the bundle of baby sleeping in his mother's arms.

Julianna moved away, teasing. "Did Daddy wash his hands?"

"Really, Junior?"

"You're not supposed to call me that anymore. Now that we have a real Junior."

"I thought we'd call him J.R. Junior and then you could keep your title of just Junior." The twinkle in his eyes filled her heart with joy. One year to the day, the birth of their little boy was a spectacular way to celebrate their anniversary. And what a busy year it had been.

"You thought wrong."

"Come on, Julianna. I'm just kidding."

"He's not going to be called 'Junior,' J.R. We may have named him James Robert, but I want him to be called Jim or Jimmy or even Robbie or Rob."

J.R. rubbed his hand across his chin, and Julianna smiled. Being married to J.R. had brought her so much happiness, she sometimes thought she would burst. Giving birth to their son brought her a peace she never thought she'd reach.

How grateful she was for the Savior's love, a feeling of forgiveness, and the knowledge that she was loved as much as she loved in return. The farmhouse had been rebuilt, J.R. and Julianna had moved in six months ago and they'd been getting ready for the baby ever since. The trailer, where they stayed until the house was finished, had been moved out and donated to the church as a stopgap for anyone who needed a temporary place to stay. Pastor Doug had been thrilled.

J.R. turned over the management of the store to Julianna. She kept John on and trained him to be a better assistant manager than she ever expected. Bobby headed the team of cashiers and business couldn't be better. Stacy hadn't been heard from since she left town the day before J.R. and Julianna's wedding. It was a good thing, too, because the police department wasn't too happy when Julianna discovered the money missing from her cash drawer sitting in an envelope in the office safe. Edna's rumor mill said she was making a big splash in Portland.

Anita and Brad Taylor had divorced and Julianna heard that Brad had found a good job at an outdoor sporting goods company. She always felt bad for Anita. She never did find out why Brad lied to her about his mother, but everyone assumed he'd been keeping company with Stacy. She hoped Brad had found what he was looking for.

Mama and Henry were making plans to remodel their cabin, and they were almost as excited for their new grandchild as James Robert's parents.

"I could live with Jimmy, maybe, or Robbie." J.R. conceded. Then Julianna saw a glint in his eyes that she knew all too well.

"What's going on in that handsome head of yours?"

"I have the perfect solution. For the perfect wife." J.R. eased his way onto the narrow hospital bed and wrapped his arms around Julianna and the baby. "He needs his own identity, right?"

Julianna nodded.

"And you don't want him called Junior because that's your name."

Julianna glared at her husband.

J.R. laughed, pulled her into a long, dreamy kiss, and nuzzled her neck. "I love you, Junior. We'll call him...Jim-Bob!"

Julianna stiffened. "I love you, too, J.R." she said calmly. "If you call our son that awful name, you may end up doing it only on visitation days."

"You're a hard woman, Julianna." J.R. laughed. "But you're all mine."

Julianna narrowed her gaze and wondered how long before J.R. figured out another nickname for the baby. But before she could challenge him, J.R. kissed her again and all thoughts of names and houses and stores were lost in the love between two best friends who discovered that forgiveness frees the heart and true love can be found even among the ashes.

THE END

THANK YOU!

Thank you for reading Rock My World. I hope you enjoyed it.

The subject of abortion is a difficult one and I tried to handle it with delicacy. It was important to me that Julianna's voice be heard. She was young, vulnerable, and felt friendless when she discovered she was pregnant. Even though she didn't have a background in what was right and wrong, she immediately regretted her choice, but by then, she couldn't change it. When she learned about Jesus Christ and the blessing of His Atonement, she embraced her forgiveness from God. I wanted to show the growth she experienced because she accepted the gospel, including eventually forgiving herself.

No matter our sins, the Atonement of Jesus Christ can bring us forgiveness, peace, and understanding.

The best way to help an author is to leave a positive review, so others will take a chance on an author that may be new to them.

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Other books by Lauraine Henderson

The Triple-Date Dare

Laura Nelson, still stinging from years of making poor choices, escaped to the Oregon Coast to finish her next mystery and continue on her return path to God. But is she ready for romance? Officer David Harrington sets up three self-destructive dates to hide his shameful past from any potential girlfriend. When he asks Laura out, David figures she will crash and burn as planned. What will he do when she not only changes the rules of his famous dating dare, but sneaks her way into his heart?

The Triple-Date Dare

The Spirit of Christmas

Combine one Scrooge named George, one assistant named Kathryn, and a Christmas blizzard leaving George an unexpected guest at Kathryn's parents' home and you end up with a charming tale of how the Spirits of Christmas (past, present, and future) work their magic.

The Spirit of Christmas

Building a Life

Sara Castleton, pregnant and widowed, needs help to finish her late husband's unfinished house project. Nicholas Bradford reluctantly steps in as contractor and carpenter. During construction, Sara gives birth to her baby and is introduced to the gospel of Jesus Christ. But irrational in-laws, risky business practices, and a mysterious book threaten to destroy Sara and Nick's growing attraction. What happens when they realize they aren't just building a house, they're Building a Life?

Building a Life

Daisies in the Driveway

Allison Lockwood and Gavin Hunt have been offered the chance to take over the Lazy Daisy Inn and Campground so their respective grandparents, the current owners, can retire and marry. It's not as easy as they think, and misunderstandings, unreasonable grandparents, and campground disasters threaten to tear them apart. See how the two unlikely innkeepers figure out where they fit in their new life and learn the lesson taught by the Daisies in the Driveway.

Daisies in the Driveway

A Cookie and a Kiss

Elliott Palmer’s brilliant impulse to propose a fake engagement to his sister’s teacher in order to get rid of a stalker may be the biggest mistake of his life. Or it could be the best thing to happen since his cookie empire went national.

Charlotte Bloomberg feels like she’s walking a tightrope at work after the scandal last year that almost cost her teaching job. Yet…Elliott’s proposal could be the answer to her saving face with not only her co-workers, but her family, too.

As the two work through school calamities, nosy family members, and a stalker getting closer all the time, the lines between real and fake start to blur when hearts get involved. But what happens when the police insist a wedding date will bring the stalker out in the open, and Elliott suspects Charlotte of being a crook?

Coming August, 2019